Seeking Travel Companion

Subject: Seeking Travel Companion
From: GUEST,gadabout
Date: 25 Dec 03 - 11:05 AM

Help me Catters...Wanted: Nonencumbered straight (but very liberal) female travel companion. Non smoker, social drinker, caucasian, 35-55, attractive, weight according to height, current passport, educated, bi-lingual English-French (preferred), EXTROVERT!, comfortable in any social setting (usabashed), complete physical mandatory, extensive background check WILL be performed by an agency NO criminal record. Excellent salary, all expenses (medical, travel, accomodations, etc), wardrobe furnished, free time, world travel, free to leave my company at any time you feel this is not for you. Any catters out there fit the bill or do you know the right person? I am a caucasian man, 60 years old, perfect health, most original teeth, money no object, have worked long enough, am ready to strike out and enjoy the entire world with the right person. The adventure begins about mid-April until...who knows, minimum of two years or maybe a lifetime. Let me hear from you. I am advertising in Major newspapers also.

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: reggie miles
Date: 25 Dec 03 - 11:10 AM

Hmm, this is starting to sound like one of those reality tv shows.

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: kendall
Date: 25 Dec 03 - 11:13 AM

Sounds like a real catch girls.

There once was a man who searched the whole world over looking for the perfect woman. He found her too, but it didn't work out. She was looking for the perfect man.

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: Mickey191
Date: 25 Dec 03 - 11:50 AM

If I lose 40 pounds by April........



Good Luck-Hope you find her- Mystery Man

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: wysiwyg
Date: 25 Dec 03 - 11:50 AM

But he's not a musician! It would never work out with any Catters I know! But we should invite the fella to drop in at all Mudcat Gatherings during the term of his arrangement, and (the lady can) tell us how it's going. We can write songs all about it.

Or he could Mud-Auction himself off....

~S~

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: Mickey191
Date: 25 Dec 03 - 12:09 PM

I once answered an ad posted by a lady same age and background. It was Dutch with one exception-she would pay the rental on a luxury car. We met a few times & discussed all contingencies-it was to be 7 days in Nova Scotia and we'd share the driving. She seemed pleasant & amicable.

She turned into a penny pinching, pushy, loud mouthed harridan. I almost threw her into the Bay of Fundy. I insisted on cutting the trip short (5 days). She wouldn't take the wheel for the trip back home.I was never so glad to get safely home - without having committed a serious felony.

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: GUEST,gadabout
Date: 25 Dec 03 - 12:55 PM

Forgot to mention my musical background. I have gathered some great guitars in my time. I have a "The Grammer Guitar", mid-60's, a 1975 Martin D35, a 1999 Guild D40, and my favorite, a 1975 Guild D50. I have had the pleasure of meeting Gordon Lightfoot and his former guitarist, Red Shea (listen closely to Miguel and If You Could Read My Mind, best finger picking ever), Tom Paxton, Tom Rush, Joni Mitchell, Judy Collins, Richard and Mimi Farina (Children of Darkness), Ian and Sylvia Tyson, Jerry Jeff Walker (listen closely to My Old Man and Little Bird, David Bromberg does some nice work). Thanks for reminding me 'cause my companion will hear this kind of music along with everything else we hear during our travels. I play a two finger and thumb picking style and played with a great group of wannabes back in the 60's and 70's (Saturday night coffee houses and a few college gigs)(lots of Peter, Paul and Mary and some stuff from the above greats). My greatest night was our group playing a set at Vanderbilt University in Tennessee where we opened for PP&M (Bill Lee played bass) in 1966. Thanks again, I intended to discuss this area of my life along along with a few quirks (yes, QUIRKS) that I have in later interviews with prospective companions.

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: Thomas the Rhymer
Date: 25 Dec 03 - 01:11 PM

Yikes! You might want to get a second opinion on this one, girls...

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: GUEST,aunty artemis
Date: 25 Dec 03 - 01:43 PM

If you are paying a salary, what are the work requirements? Some might be illegal in such an arrangement. Why would you have to pay a salary anyway? Aren't the terms attractive enough that an unencumbered female would freely go along? Will you submit to an extensive background check and a complete physical in return? How about an MMPI?

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: GUEST,aunty artemis
Date: 25 Dec 03 - 01:45 PM

...I don't like Guild guitars...

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: Peace
Date: 25 Dec 03 - 01:49 PM

Because this may involve a sex change, i would appreciate more details.

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: Little Hawk
Date: 25 Dec 03 - 01:52 PM

LOL! Good one, brucie...

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: open mike
Date: 25 Dec 03 - 02:57 PM

what company?! what is the nature of the "work" involved?
and what about the wardrobe? is there some sort of uniform
or costume here? (bunny suit?!)where would the travelling
be?

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: JenEllen
Date: 25 Dec 03 - 03:27 PM

I'm still in tears laughing about "most original teeth"....Just what does THAT entail? How do YOU know they'll be the most original teeth she'll have ever seen? She might have traveled before, you know...

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: Peace
Date: 25 Dec 03 - 03:40 PM

Hey, Little Hawk,

I hope you are having and continue to have a great Christmas. I have enjoyed your posts, very much, both the fartin' around and the somewhat more serious stuff. It's strange meeting people on the internet, but it is easy to recognize kindred spirits and fine people. I wish you well for the season, and I hope you have a wonderful, healthy and successful 2004. Be good, buddy.

Bruce Murdoch

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: NicoleC
Date: 25 Dec 03 - 03:44 PM

Wanted: Nonencumbered childless straight (but very liberal) will sleep with anyone of the opposite sex and probably the same sex, too, it doesn't matter as long as it includes me female travel companion wink, wink. Non smoker, social drinker, caucasian, 35-55 younger than me, attractive astonishingly beautiful, weight according to height although I'm not any of those things, current passport because somehow even though this trip isn't leaving until April, it's important that you not have to bother to apply and wait 3 weeks, educated,it doesn't matter if a similar "companion" arrangement put you through college bi-lingual English-French (preferred), EXTROVERT!, comfortable in any social setting (usabashed), because I'm not and I want someone to make it easier for me in social settings complete physical mandatory you're a slut, but somehow you've escaped any consequences, extensive background check WILL be performed by an agency NO criminal record. no, no, YOU get checked, not ME Excellent salary, all expenses (medical, travel, accomodations, etc), wardrobe furnished of my choice, free time, world travel, free to leave my company at any time you feel this is not for you. Wanna bet your life on it, ladies?

These "ads" can be found in every major newspaper in the world. One wonders if anyone is answering, and when they are, who's more disappointed in the results.

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: GUEST,gadabout
Date: 25 Dec 03 - 04:17 PM

JenEllen, thanks for pointing out my error...should read MOST OF MY ORIGINAL TEETH (a pitiful attempt at humor), lost a few but implants took care of that.
brucie and auntie artemis, sounds like you two are trapped in the wrong body. Perhaps you should trade each other your personal equiptment.
NicoleC...don't be concerned, stay on the porch, your comments ruled you out. Since this offer will be worth $200,000.00 and more per year to the lady that I select, I will set all the ground rules and my demands will be met. And I WILL find just the right person. When I settle on the right person, EVERYTHING will be discussed and agreed upon before final papers and waivers are drawn and signed. Perhaps I made a mistake in posting this offer here. I thought Catters were a sophisticated lot...am I wrong?

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: kendall
Date: 25 Dec 03 - 04:34 PM

We are indeed sophisticated. We are also above average in the IQ dept.

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: Little Hawk
Date: 25 Dec 03 - 04:43 PM

God no, Gadabout! We are so sophisticated here that we squeak. If Mr Chongo were only a female (and human...) I would pass your incredibly generous offer on to him right away. He is willing to work for bananas, and he does a great job...but hey...$200,000 can buy a lotta bananas, right? Oh, and he's got ALL his original teeth.

Your version sounds pretty plausible to me, Nicole...just about the way I would have read it. Still, this could be that once-in-a-lifetime chance that every girl dreams of! Did I mention I have a large bridge to sell...cheap?

Got any jamming with Bob Dylan anecdotes, Gadabout?

Brucie - Good wishes going your way too, pal. If you have some free time check out the Chongo Chimp thread for a few more chuckles...

- LH

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: Thomas the Rhymer
Date: 25 Dec 03 - 04:44 PM

So, the 'right person' for you is driven more by money than feelings, has given up hope on ever finding lasting true romantic love, and is basicly an escort puppet and screen for your lost dreams and youth... hmmmmmm... Wow! What a self image you must have!

Don't you have an appointment with your mirror or sumpin'?

Seems to me, that you could do much better in both departments, and then... you might have a chance at actual happiness...

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: GUEST,Diva
Date: 25 Dec 03 - 04:46 PM

What Kendall said!!!!!!!!!! Oh yes I nearly forgot, most of us women don't do for the controling type. Well I suppose I won't be picked then. Shame

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: mg
Date: 25 Dec 03 - 04:59 PM

pick me pick me. And I will do it most of it anyway for $30,000 or so. And most of my clothes come from Lands end on sale so I am not too expensive in that department. I'm not too controlling but grab me fast, so to speak, because I will be 56 in July...mg

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: Little Hawk
Date: 25 Dec 03 - 05:05 PM

I'm beginning to wonder...is this another not-so-subtle attempt to qualify for "funniest threads on Mudcat"? I give it about a 5.

- LH

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: GUEST,Diva
Date: 25 Dec 03 - 05:11 PM

Ohh forgot to add....thrawn,overweight, undertall,stroppy Scotswoman,doesn't like being told what to do,sings a bit but finds guitars boring after about five minutes. Fits within age range specifications and can speak French but struggles with English. Nope,its not going to work....

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: wysiwyg
Date: 25 Dec 03 - 05:14 PM

Look, I think someone has spiked Rick Fielding's eggnog. Who else would say this with a straight face-- and I can't believe no one else caught it: brucie and auntie artemis, sounds like you two are trapped in the wrong body At least they know how to share! How'd they get the owner to vacate though?

Gadabout, if you're for real (LOL, slightly oxymoronic), you would get a lot more mileage out of just being a Mudcatter like the rest of us, talk about music and so forth, and sharing the fun of your search with us, not trolling here for bedbait.

~S~

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: GUEST,aunty artemis
Date: 25 Dec 03 - 05:21 PM

ah, yes...I have suspected for most of my life that I am trapped in the wrong body...but you sound like a creep, sweety, regardless!

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: Thomas the Rhymer
Date: 25 Dec 03 - 05:32 PM

You? ...Who? This party is more crowded with guests... and the subterfuge is thick... Yikes!

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: GUEST,gadabout
Date: 25 Dec 03 - 05:36 PM

Signing off...sorry to have bothered you folks. Please discontinue this thread.

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 25 Dec 03 - 05:48 PM

"Please discontinue this thread."

Doesn't work like that...

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: Peace
Date: 25 Dec 03 - 05:59 PM

Didn't bother me, but I'm still waiting for details. I'm not undergoing surgery if all there is is a slight chance of getting chosen. I'll end up coming in second to a woman with nice hooters. Is this thread a joke? Because if it isn't, all bets are off. Bump the pay to $500,000, and I'll give it another look. I have Marminator bills to pay.

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 25 Dec 03 - 06:16 PM

All sounds like a perfect set-up for a "badger game"

(Defined as "an extortion scheme in which a woman places a man in a compromising position and then victimizes him by demanding money when her male accomplice, pretending to be an outraged husband or relative, enters and threatens violence, scandal, etc.")

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: wysiwyg
Date: 25 Dec 03 - 06:18 PM

Oh well, I guess we ran him off; and it was just getting funny! Not our sort at ALL!

~S~

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: SINSULL
Date: 25 Dec 03 - 07:17 PM

A shame he doesn't play a banjo. I could use a new wardrobe...

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: NicoleC
Date: 25 Dec 03 - 07:39 PM

NicoleC...don't be concerned, stay on the porch, your comments ruled you out.

Awww! And I had SO hoped to sell myself into contractual bondage!

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: Thomas the Rhymer
Date: 25 Dec 03 - 07:52 PM

Well, NicoleC... if you should ever lower your sights to plain old mutual passion and romance, from the lofty highths of gadabout's tyranical fantasies... you know where to find me... ;^)

Merry Christmas! ttr

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: GUEST,ashamed
Date: 25 Dec 03 - 10:21 PM

I am ashamed of all you 'catters. We usually treat a guest with more respect. I am posting as a guest so that you won't know who is really ashamed of you. All of you know me. I happen to know someone who just might be the lady that gadabout is looking for. If you are still out there please respond to this post or send an email to [e-mail] and I will put this person in contact with you. Shame, shame, bad 'catters.

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: Ebbie
Date: 25 Dec 03 - 10:40 PM

I trust that she is not your best friend.

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: Peace
Date: 25 Dec 03 - 10:43 PM

Did this thread originate in Nigeria?

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: momnopp
Date: 25 Dec 03 - 10:50 PM

I don't know who "ashamed" is, but the comments on here from "regular catters" did look a lot like the seedy underbelly of the Mudcat. Is that a record for driving off a visitor in a matter of hours? I'm not entirely clear what the fellow was really looking for and perhaps he was not entirely clear about what it SOUNDED like he was looking for...but might "we" have stopped pointing and giggling long enough to find out? Or is there a history with the specific individual that I'm missing?

Peace,

JudyO

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 25 Dec 03 - 10:53 PM

Sounds like a "feeler" for a white slavery kidnapper...

It's threads like this that support my (personal) belief that anonymous GUEST posters should be banned... :-) especially in BS threads...

But then we wouldn't have as much fun - hey - let's keep the fun going...

There's a web site that sells "original teeth" - copies of original sets like Mike Myers, various buck teeth styles...

Passport - don't need no stinkin' passport! - the Australian Government can get hold of fake documents to export unwanted Asylum seekers who have been in detention for 3 years, so why don't you? :-)

Robin

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: GUEST
Date: 25 Dec 03 - 11:14 PM

I can't help it. This should be the reason I write my best song but I cannot keep myself still to do a thing. I began with Paul Simon's 'I am just a poorgirl(boy) ....' but when I get to 'come on from the ???? on the Mudcat..'

Life ought to be censored!

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: Amos
Date: 25 Dec 03 - 11:23 PM

Aw, now fellas, he could be just what he seemed to be -- a highly demanding, controlling rich guy who oncer played guitar. But I don't think we've lost anything!


:>_))

A

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: NicoleC
Date: 25 Dec 03 - 11:29 PM

Wait -- some guest comes on and goes trawling for an expensive prostitute, and you think the 'Catters are the ones who are "seedy?"

Erm... no. I just don't see it that way. Nor do I have a problem with driving off these particular kinds of guests, except that our "guest" hasn't gone anywhere.

But even if it's a hoax from a Mudcatter parading as a guest, this is the most original thread and funniest we've seen on Mudcat in years :)

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: wysiwyg
Date: 25 Dec 03 - 11:40 PM

Well, it seemed more to me that we were offering to be playful with someone whose lack of humor in response quickly deteriorated into a clearly stated agenda of control. I sure wasn't coming from the idea of "let's drive him out;" for me it was more a sense that he was approaching meeting someone in a way that would just not work at Mudcat.... but if Mudcat humor was beyond his scope, I think he was looking in the wrong place to start with. YMMV, but I wouldn't shame anyone just for getting different mileage. Most days anyhow.

The Guest-commenting-on-Guest-treatment thing, now that is an old familiar one; are we off on another MUDCATTERS ARE ASSHOLES thread now????

OK, that's probably true enough. I'll go first. HI MY NAME IS SUSAN AND I AM AN ASSHOLE.

But it's pronounced Ah-show-ley, and I think it's unlikely that we can all share the one name, especially if some of us are already in the wrong body. Too confusing!

~S~ AKA A

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: NicoleC
Date: 25 Dec 03 - 11:52 PM

LOL, Susan!

Ironically, I only opened this thread because work is insisting that I take a vacation (again?) and two can travel almost as cheaply as one. I thought a fellow Mudcatter might have a good trip idea.

Oh well. Back to Expedia.com

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: Thomas the Rhymer
Date: 25 Dec 03 - 11:54 PM

Aye... Where'd ah dees pips on me tum come from? Haie eiu! ..missy o're t'ere... well now ahint eiu a looka! How's aboot a coupla gdand per diem... Don't be bashfu'... darlin'... jes sign on da line sweethot...

;^)ttr

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 26 Dec 03 - 01:46 AM

As the saying goes, "if it looks too good to be true, it probably is."

It would have been a Very Simple Matter for guest "gadabout" to have joined Mudcat so that any interested parties could respond via PM. His reluctance to do so (making him traceable?) raises a warning flag for me. The name-dropping sets off another red flag.

Many of us fit the description and would most certainly pass the background check, but I can't think of a single good reason for anyone to take anyone up an offer like that. The salary is good for a couple of years, but if you're already in a job that takes care of what you need, quitting it to take on an iffy proposition is too big of a risk. And the life on the road gets old fast. And then there are the kids. . . NicoleC nailed it with her annotated version of the original offer.

SRS

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 26 Dec 03 - 01:52 AM

Yea NicoleC
I only opened it originally because of that and it was not a BD thread... oops that should be "BS" although the ways things deteroriate around here...

Robin

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 26 Dec 03 - 01:56 AM

be carefull people, this guy could be a cereal killer or something, [you here about all kinds of bad people using the inter net to find there vic tims], i heard about a german bloke, he wanted to make some new friends through the internet, then he eat them.
just be careful.john

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 26 Dec 03 - 01:58 AM

if you meet him, you should ask -did he eat any people before, if he says yes= tell him get lost, and run away.