So Where WAS Big Mick?....The Facts

Subject: So Where WAS Big Mick?....The Facts
From: catspaw49
Date: 14 Mar 00 - 10:34 AM

Prompted by a mysterious reference on the Big Mick thread, I have spent the past 8 hours doing research and some interesting facts have come to light. The question: Where was Big Mick???

From a period of February 3 thru March 5, Big Mick was absent from the 'Cat.

FACT: The only posts he made during that period were in the wee hours here in the US EST zone. This is daytime in Oz. The one "Guest" post made during that time period came from a library computer outside the US!

FACT: Although listed on the campaign, NO ONE associated with the campaign will say they saw him during that time period and in checking Michigan news sources no picture of him exists at any campaign function.

FACT: The Union will only say he is assigned "other duties and directs all requests to an e-mail forwarding service.

FACT: On February 4, a "Lane Michaels" purchased a one-way ticket on United from Detroit to Honolula connecting through LAX. A man matching Mick's description was confronted by security officers at LAX responding to a complaint from one of the lounges where a patron was protesting about the lack of the "black vile stuff" in the bar. The officers reported that the man also seemed to be talking in a strange language. When the customer returned to his gate, the officers said he was calm and referred to them as "feckincobs" which they thought was a compliment because he said it with a smile.

FACT: On February 5, in Hawaii, a man using the name "Mike Fairlane" booked passage on Qantas flight 405 for Canberra where this same Mike Fairlane showed passport and a Michigan driver's license to rent a car. The security camera footage is blurry, but the man appears to be about 6'2" and 240 pounds. The car had a lot of miles on it when it was returned, but did not appear to have been used much as it was very clean. The clerks on duty at that time remember him as acting VERY tired, but happy.

FACT: An Australian beachwear shop reported selling 25 thongs on February 6 to "an Irish looking guy" carrying a bag of potatoes.

FACT: On March 4, "Mickey Lanfair" arrived at LAX after disembarking the Qantas Canberra flight and purchased a one way ticket to Cleveland on Delta. In Cleveland, "Mike Fairlane" again rented a car with a Michigan license and returned the car in Detroit. No security camera footage is available.

So where was Big Mick? I am currently researching the posts of a certain Irish Aussie. Something funny is going on here.

Spaw

Subject: RE: So Where WAS Big Mick?....The Facts
From: Amos
Date: 14 Mar 00 - 10:43 AM

LOL! Perfervid, 'Spaw. There were odd fluctuations in the Irish potato futures market around the same time. Coincidence? I don't think so!!... When Mick does it, he does it Big!

(You crack me up, 'Spaw).

A

Subject: RE: So Where WAS Big Mick?....The Facts
From: Willie-O
Date: 14 Mar 00 - 11:14 AM

What about the Cuban expatriates and the mysterious envoy from the Maquiladora Zone? They were seen in the same bar at LAX and didn't look nearly so happy from their horizontal positions.

Maybe he was mixing business with pleasure?

speculatively
Willie-O

Subject: RE: So Where WAS Big Mick?....The Facts
From: GUEST,Roger the skiffler
Date: 14 Mar 00 - 11:16 AM

...and if whatever it was wore you out, Mick, don't forget the NYCFTTS is fully unionised and offers special rates for union members. Our Old Thongs festival is coming up soon which could be combined with a Spud aversion therapy workshop which Dr Spaw is leading. He hopes the eminent Japanese therapist Dr Hiroshi will turn up for this.
RtS

Subject: RE: So Where WAS Big Mick?....The Facts
From: catspaw49
Date: 14 Mar 00 - 11:23 AM

"Old Thongs"..........Skiff, you are too much!! Check yourself in.

Spaw

Subject: RE: So Where WAS Big Mick?....The Facts
From: Big Mick
Date: 14 Mar 00 - 11:53 AM

I categorically and paragorically deny having ever used the name Fairlane. Everyone knows I am a General Motors man, so the hypothesis doesn't hold water. And furthermore, why would I buy 25 thongs??????? Everyone knows that there are 7 days in a week, so one would logically buy either 21 or 28 thongs so that you could have a fresh one every day of the week. Furthermore, 2:00 to 3:00 A.M. EST is the early evening in Oz last time I was there, which I am not admitting to. And I did not call them feckingcobs. I said "Fecking gobshites"..............errrrrrrrrrr..........I mean, I would have said that. And if I ever did meet a fella from the Maquiladora zone, he might indeed feel like he has had sex when I was done, but not the type he would enjoy..............LOL. And THE FAIR ONE would never admit to showing me the famous botanical gardens and the walking tour of the harbor, or consider taking me to a house concert with Andy Irvine, or show me the beautiful beaches up the coast from Graystanes, or go nude snorkeling on the Barrier Reef or anything like that. She is a proper Irish woman. Shame on you 'Spaw for pandering to such base instincts.......I would have thought you would have taken the discussion to a higher plane, such as the Mile High Club.......

I sure missed this place while I was gone.

Big Mick

Subject: RE: So Where WAS Big Mick?....The Facts
From: Liam's Brother
Date: 14 Mar 00 - 12:20 PM

Those of you resident in the USA during the time that tv only came in black and white will remember the program, I Led 3 Lives, about Herbert A. Philbrick (name probably changed to protect the innocent) who did, in fact, live 3 lives (not consecutively). He was 1) a Communist sseking violent overthrow of the Government, 2) an FBI counter-intelligence agent, and 3) Honey and Dad at home.

Despite his seeming Labor image, Irish Republican sympathies, pinko politics and embrace of the downtrodden, my operatives have recently uncovered the REAL Mick Lane! First of all, his REAL name is not Mick Lane at all. His REAL name is Fergus MacMucklefutch. Second of all, he does not really play a Harmony Soverign guitar with the word Soverign scratched out and Patriot overpainted in green, he plays a custom-made Brazilian rosewood Martin D-45 with a "Screw The Workers" diamond-inlay on the back. Third of all, "Phoney Mick," i.e. actually MacMucklefutch, is the Grand Master of the Orange Order in Michigan and is Senior Vice President for Internal Security at the Pinkerton Protective Service. This is his only connection with anything "Pink." Fourth, but NOT lastly, I'm sure, "Our Man" does not really live in a workers' cottage in the pines but a multi-million dollar waterside mansion in Grosse Point.

And if you want to know about "Big Mick's" contribution to folk music, what do you think of this snip-it for a piece that he penned...

The working class can kiss my ass
I've got the foreman's job at last
The workers' flag is really pink
It's not as read as you my think...

So there you are "Mick," I mean Fergus. How does it feel to be wearing your pants down around your ankles with nothing to support your overendulged gut but the four winds?

Subject: RE: So Where WAS Big Mick?....The Facts
From: Liam's Brother
Date: 14 Mar 00 - 12:28 PM

Make that "RED" as you might think. The only thing "RED" about MacMucklefutch is his face now that his TRUE identity is revealed.

Subject: RE: So Where WAS Big Mick?....The Facts
From: catspaw49
Date: 14 Mar 00 - 12:29 PM

Very interesting Dan!!! Obviously we are finding there may be more to this "Big Mick" than meets the eye......of course with his pants around his ankles we may find there is LESS!!!

Spaw

Subject: RE: So Where WAS Big Mick?....The Facts
From: Joe Offer
Date: 14 Mar 00 - 12:38 PM

...all this sounds like a cheap, sordid campaign to smear the noble reputation of Our Man Mick.
Give us more!
-Joe Offer-

Subject: RE: So Where WAS Big Mick?....The Facts
From: annamill
Date: 14 Mar 00 - 12:50 PM

May I point out that "Fair One" has been ominously silent during this whole lurid conversation...hmmm. Could all this hold water? So to speak.

Curiously annap

Subject: RE: So Where WAS Big Mick?....The Facts
From: Amos
Date: 14 Mar 00 - 01:55 PM

Mick better hold his for a bit anyway, with himself all exposed and all...

Subject: RE: So Where WAS Big Mick?....The Facts
From: Jeri
Date: 14 Mar 00 - 01:57 PM

Funny, Mick, as such, doesn't sound much like MacMucklefutch...

Subject: RE: So Where WAS Big Mick?....The Facts
From: Allan C.
Date: 14 Mar 00 - 02:20 PM

I will swear that I saw him in a shopping mall in Fancy Farm, Kentucky three weeks ago. I am certain he was who I saw, 'cause the other guy was Elvis.

Subject: RE: So Where WAS Big Mick?....The Facts
From: kendall
Date: 14 Mar 00 - 02:36 PM

If you cant say something good about Mick, lets hear it.

Subject: RE: So Where WAS Big Mick?....The Facts
From: catspaw49
Date: 14 Mar 00 - 02:46 PM

Kendall, I'm so ashamed!!! I can't speak for Dan of course, but I am simply reporting the FACTS here. I believe it is the duty of each one of us to report the truth as we know it.

For instance last week I reported that you were under suspicion for a series of bodega streakings in the South Bronx for which you've since been cleared. So there is some good news. At the same time I also noted that you were trying to cure your acute sinusitis by shitting size 13 Bass weejuns.....Anything new on that front?

Spaw

Subject: RE: So Where WAS Big Mick?....The Facts
From: wysiwyg
Date: 14 Mar 00 - 06:52 PM

Oh MY!!!!

Subject: RE: So Where WAS Big Mick?....The Facts
From: Sorcha
Date: 14 Mar 00 - 07:02 PM

Yes! They were with JFK! and Marilyn! I saw them in Cheyenne wearing Dolly Parton wigs and dark glasses on Thursday! I KNEW I recognized those people!
(told ya they were crazy Praise!)

Subject: RE: So Where WAS Big Mick?....The Facts
From: katlaughing
Date: 14 Mar 00 - 07:03 PM

It is a well-known fact that the Ancient Fertility Rites of Spring start in the warmer climes of North America, thus it is the Big Mick, Keeper of AFR of Spring was busy fulfilling his duties, serving up, as it were, in a bounteous way amongst the maidens fair, as well as various gawdesses/wisewimmin, thus ensuring a fertile and lucious crop of all manner of growing things, including the newly named hybrid potatus gargantus micelus. It said, this year, the yield of such will keep the entire world fed from a cultivated plot of only two acres!

So...be sure to make your pilgrimage to the Ancient Temples, offer your tithe and ensure your proper postition in the hierarchy of Fertile Abundance. Tithes in song, instruments (musical only), and other related materials will be accepted this year until further notice. All Hail Big Mick!

Subject: RE: So Where WAS Big Mick?....The Facts
From: Mbo
Date: 14 Mar 00 - 07:12 PM

Micheal Mhor--mind if I watch you work your magic? I could use some pointers.

--Mbo

Subject: RE: So Where WAS Big Mick?....The Facts
From: catspaw49
Date: 14 Mar 00 - 07:31 PM

I doubt if he minds Meebo but why not watch Kendall crap a couple of penny loafers while you're waiting?

Spaw

Subject: RE: So Where WAS Big Mick?....The Facts
From: Mbo
Date: 14 Mar 00 - 07:43 PM

I think I'm missing something here...

--Mbo

Subject: RE: So Where WAS Big Mick?....The Facts
From: wysiwyg
Date: 14 Mar 00 - 07:43 PM

Mbo, it only takes one pointer, and not a magical one either.

Subject: RE: So Where WAS Big Mick?....The Facts
From: Mbo
Date: 14 Mar 00 - 07:47 PM

ARG! Stung again, but not by the Wasp this time!

--Mbo

Subject: RE: So Where WAS Big Mick?....The Facts
From: wysiwyg
Date: 14 Mar 00 - 07:52 PM

Ah, just a little tickle sweetie! I was thinking of those speedos!

Subject: RE: So Where WAS Big Mick?....The Facts
From: Mbo
Date: 14 Mar 00 - 08:08 PM

Hey! Only 25 posts?! Maybe if we can get Spaw and Amos and Troll in here to do some more friendly Mbo-ribbing, we can thread creep this baby out to 120 posts so we can beat out the Garg thread. C'mon people! WE CAN DO IT!

--Mbo

Subject: RE: So Where WAS Big Mick?....The Facts
From: Amos
Date: 14 Mar 00 - 08:11 PM

Just keep saying innocently enthusiastic things, M, and I am sure someonewill get fired up and throw a strip at you. :>) It's kinda like a tenor and a baritone in harmony, know what I mean?

Subject: RE: So Where WAS Big Mick?....The Facts
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 14 Mar 00 - 08:16 PM

Of course Big Mick Lane is just an anagram for that undercover of the revolution, Manic Big Elk.

Subject: RE: So Where WAS Big Mick?....The Facts
From: Mbo
Date: 14 Mar 00 - 08:18 PM

Not really, Amos. I'm the baritone, I don't know WHO the tenor is!

--Mbo

Subject: RE: So Where WAS Big Mick?....The Facts
From: katlaughing
Date: 14 Mar 00 - 08:23 PM

YOU people are paying enough homage...your crops are NOT ging to be fertile, magic wands or no, if you keepahem this up!

Subject: RE: So Where WAS Big Mick?....The Facts
From: Amos
Date: 14 Mar 00 - 08:23 PM

CLINK A BIG ME, BACK LEG MINI, and BACK LEG ? I'M IN! also have applications as anagrams.

Subject: RE: So Where WAS Big Mick?....The Facts
From: katlaughing
Date: 14 Mar 00 - 08:30 PM

Should read" YOU people are NOT paying enough homage...your crops are NOT going to be fertile, magic wands or no, if you keep ahem this up!

Anagrams do not count for tithe, either! Oh, did I remember to say all who tithe to the Big Mick get to take part in the Community Fertility Rites of Spring? Ah ha! Thought that might get your attention!!!

Subject: RE: So Where WAS Big Mick?....The Facts
From: catspaw49
Date: 14 Mar 00 - 09:05 PM

I hate to upset Miz Praise, but since you ask Meebo........

The only Fertility Rites that Meebo can access are stored in tanks labeled anhydrous ammonia....And even on that scorecard, he ain't Billie Sol Estes. The last time a girl suggested they play house, he was 6. Now I don't want to get into his exuberant characteristics which cause most women with an IQ above room temperature to run and hide, but the closest he ever got to a satisfying sexual experience was with his stereo. It wasn't pretty I'm told and the stereo has never been the same since. He had a great chance last week when a curvy blonde (not Leej) said "Show me what ya' got kid," and he took out his ELO collection.

Just pathetic. He was going to have "Hammond" tatooed on the side of his sexual organ, but using very tiny letters. Sadly all that would fit was "HA" which was good for a laugh, as is his sexual organ.

Spaw

Subject: RE: So Where WAS Big Mick?....The Facts
From: Sorcha
Date: 14 Mar 00 - 09:08 PM

Notice how things have lightened up since the Big Guy is Back? We trust him to all the IT's in line!

Subject: RE: So Where WAS Big Mick?....The Facts
From: GUEST
Date: 14 Mar 00 - 09:12 PM

Hmmmm -- what is it exactly he wants 10% of???

Subject: RE: So Where WAS Big Mick?....The Facts
From: Homeless
Date: 14 Mar 00 - 09:17 PM

Y'know Meeb - you really missed it there when you said you were the baritone - you should have claimed to be the "tenner"

Subject: RE: So Where WAS Big Mick?....The Facts
From: Sorcha
Date: 14 Mar 00 - 09:20 PM

Meeb--hang in there, son! WE know better!signed, Those of US in the Know!

Subject: RE: So Where WAS Big Mick?....The Facts
From: catspaw49
Date: 14 Mar 00 - 09:27 PM

Yeah they do Meeb....EVERYONE knows you ain't got a tenner.

Spaw

Subject: RE: So Where WAS Big Mick?....The Facts
From: Mbo
Date: 14 Mar 00 - 09:46 PM

Hey, you know what tenors do to get their voices up there? I'd rather be the baritone anyday! And Spaw..."Hammond"? Are you kidding? Wurlitzer all the way, baby!

--Mbo

Subject: RE: So Where WAS Big Mick?....The Facts
From: wysiwyg
Date: 14 Mar 00 - 09:57 PM

Upset Praise, Spaw?

Isn't she busy over at the tavern anyhow? I hear she's havin' herself a time...

Subject: RE: So Where WAS Big Mick?....The Facts
From: Sorcha
Date: 14 Mar 00 - 10:22 PM

Woke up this mawnin, in the jello pit
It was so cherry I had a fit,
'Posed to be lime, an I didn' have a dime,
so where's all the fun 'n good time?
(gonna get us in trubble yet!)

Subject: RE: So Where WAS Big Mick?....The Facts
From: Mbo
Date: 14 Mar 00 - 10:32 PM

Got more, Sorch? Sounds like a Mudcat Songbook entry!

--Mbo

Subject: RE: So Where WAS Big Mick?....The Facts
From: Sorcha
Date: 14 Mar 00 - 10:34 PM

Uhhh, not just yet. Soembody else have a go?

Subject: RE: So Where WAS Big Mick?....The Facts
From: Homeless
Date: 14 Mar 00 - 10:56 PM

Came to this evening, I'm still in the pub My vision is real blurry, give my eyes a rub. Look around at the people. Give a happy sigh. I'm in such good comp'ny - these are my kind of guys.

Next?

Subject: RE: So Where WAS Big Mick?....The Facts
From: Sorcha
Date: 14 Mar 00 - 11:09 PM

Instrumental break, then:
Oh, jello, you my luv, gonna get me somebody to give me a rub,
Lime, cherry, Orange mah dear,
Where you gonna be when I need somebody nearNEXT?

Subject: RE: So Where WAS Big Mick?....The Facts
From: Mbo
Date: 14 Mar 00 - 11:11 PM

Don't let me get started on it! It would never end! I'm a 4-time Blue Fume Shield winner!

--Mbo

Subject: RE: So Where WAS Big Mick?....The Facts
From: Sorcha
Date: 14 Mar 00 - 11:17 PM

WOT? deleted part of mine, then added Mbo's, and when I scrolled back up before I posted this, it had changed threads! EH?

Subject: RE: So Where WAS Big Mick?....The Facts
From: Amos
Date: 14 Mar 00 - 11:22 PM

I guess Big Mick is having some fun reconfiguring his very own thread...

Subject: RE: So Where WAS Big Mick?....The Facts
From: Sorcha
Date: 14 Mar 00 - 11:38 PM

In the midst of a potato famine? How dare he?

Subject: RE: So Where WAS Big Mick?....The Facts
From: northfolk/al cholger
Date: 14 Mar 00 - 11:45 PM

Say it ain't so...but rumor has it, Mick has abandoned step dancing, and has been learning the Tennessee two step, giving up the fiddle and bow...for a lucrative Nashville recording contract...quite likely the "A" side will be a Bluegrass version of ...you can call me Al...I already miss the bold fenian....