Subject: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 81 (We're Back!!) From: Áine Date: 22 May 02 - 02:10 PM Hey there, Challenge!rs!! Been a while, hadn't it? Well, no pain, no gain, as the saying goes. The Challenge! is back and beautiful -- clear skies and fantastic songs are predicted for all. So, come on 'Catters, look under the sofa cushions for your special Challenge! pencils, go sit on the porcelain throne, tear off a piece of paper from the roll, and GO FOR IT, CHALLENGE!RS!! ;-) -- Áine (the Keeper of the Book, recently re-invigorated by her darlin' daughter, Caty, to whom this Challenge! is dedicated. See this thread for details ;-) (P.S. A great big thanks to Amos for sending me this story, and encouraging me to 'get back in business, damn it!')
Gadzooks, Batman, It's the G-String Gang! Holy Underwear! -- LONDON (Reuters) - Cheeky thieves, dubbed the "G-string Gang" by the British press, made off with thousands of pounds worth of racy underwear after a daylight raid on upmarket lingerie designer Agent Provocateur, a spokesman said on Tuesday. |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 81 From: wysiwyg Date: 22 May 02 - 02:22 PM Instantly recognizable IF the wearer is wearing nothing else! *G* "Excuse me, miss, I'll have to examine your kickers, it's only routine of course!" ~S~ |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 81 (We're Back!!) From: MMario Date: 22 May 02 - 02:41 PM it's going to be hard to concentrate on this purely because it's been so long since we had a challenge, of course. |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 81 (We're Back!!) From: Kim C Date: 22 May 02 - 03:08 PM When Britons say knickers, that refers to women's panties in general, regardless of the style? It's difficult to think of G-strings as "knickers"............... |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 81 (We're Back!!) From: MMario Date: 22 May 02 - 03:11 PM AGENT PROVOCATUER (Tune:Fiddlers Green) I walked by Headquarters one evening so fair To view all the models in their underwear! the bras, thongs and corsets designed for a fee Knickers and teddies and things I shouldn't see Chorus: Wrap her up in silk, leather or latex Cotton, linen, lace or a fur The better design is just one of kind And I'll buy one someday......for my favorite girl! Suspenders and stockings and g-strings galore Whenever I see them I want to see more Unmentionable undies way out of my league The kind that make any man's heart try to seize chorus The window is empty, not a model in sight I nearly keeled over in shock and in fright My God! What has happened at my favourite store? To put scads of police tape on window and door? chorus Seems thieves they broke in through the door in the front And stole the designs worth plenty of blunt Outrageous! Horrendous! The nerve of those thieves! I tell you I'm really goin' to get peeved! chorus Joe Corre, designer at Pro-voc-a-tuer He says they'll regret that they burgled his store The black market won't touch things made one of a kind One look and the cops will know it's one of mine! chorus I hope that Joe's brain it is still crankin' out those kind of designs that will make a man shout And soon I would hope to review all his stock Whenever I stroll by on my evening walk Wrap her up in silk, leather or latex Cotton, linen, lace or a fur The better design is just one of kind And I'll buy one someday......for my favorite girl! |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 81 (We're Back!!) From: Pseudolus Date: 22 May 02 - 03:12 PM OK, I'm a little rusty so be kind.......
They had an idea, a quick way to get rich
We'll break down the door, move as fast as we can,
So they planned and they plotted, there thoughts were all blotted
But as they were leaving, their lungs were still heaving,
The problem they thought was not getting caught
So one of them said, we're not using our heads,
Despite all their haste, it can't go to waste
Frank |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 81 (We're Back!!) From: Amos Date: 22 May 02 - 03:26 PM ROTFL!! Wow!! Nothing like the ol' TGG touch to make the blooms of talent appear in the spring, tralala!! You guys are off to a great start!! A |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 81 (We're Back!!) From: Áine Date: 22 May 02 - 03:35 PM Yea, what Amos said!! You all are goin' to do just fine -- it's like riding a bike, falling off a log, etc., etc., ain't it?!? Here are the first two We're Back! B.L.O.B.s (Best Lines O' Bull) awards:
To MMario for his fantastic fury in: -- Áine |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 81 (We're Back!!) From: Amos Date: 22 May 02 - 04:03 PM The Underwear Burglar's LamentTune: No Use Fer the Wimmin(Click to Play) I got no use for these undies They're vibrantly sexy with sleaze And I wouldn't feel right with a teddy Over cotton BVD's They're sexy and slim and salacious They're tempting and naughty and sly Though the visions they bring are bodacious It's enough to make me cry! I had a friend was a minor shoplifter He was cleaver, immoral and quick But he talked me into big trouble With his quick-riches boudoir shtick Now my flat is stacked high up with fashions The bras tower over my head And I can't bring my cute girlfriend over 'Cuz I know she'd cut me dead These G-strings are no use to a feller; As supporters, they're really too tight. And I can't hand them out to the kiddies, For attaching to their kites All the girls I know would be offended And ask what I mean to suggest If I mailed them a corset for Christmas So I think I'll move out West. Yes, I'm bound for the wide open spaces, Where menfolk know just who they are And the gals wear ten-gallons and Levis, Not them see-through bras of stars! I'll change my name and my country And out in the Wild West I'll stay 'Cause I'd rather wrassle a rattler, Than a G-string, any day! |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 81 (We're Back!!) From: MMario Date: 22 May 02 - 04:06 PM Amos - you are... ... ...well I don't know WHAT you are - but I like it! |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 81 (We're Back!!) From: Áine Date: 22 May 02 - 05:06 PM Leo, what Amos is IS fantabeulous -- as are all Challenge!rs, of course! ;-)
I think you all know which verse of Amos' entry gets the B.L.O.B.: -- Áine |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 81 (We're Back!!) From: Uncle_DaveO Date: 22 May 02 - 06:00 PM McGrath? McGrath? Are you there? Drop the other shoe--pul-leaze! Dave Oesterreich |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 81 (We're Back!!) From: McGrath of Harlow Date: 22 May 02 - 06:18 PM Maybe it's not really unexpected with an outlaw ballad - it keeps on escaping. I've recaptured it once more, and this should be the end of it.
Come gather round me children, a story you will hear
It was in the City of London, where the rich and famous throng,
And Pretty Boy came a-calling, and he left his calling card
And the police they told the papers, in a manner rather coarse,
They pulled in the usual suspects, and they put them on parade,
But the evidence was scanty, and everyone agreed,
And Pretty Boy went on the run, but he couldn't sell the stuff,
And there's a poor old farmer woke one night, her's the story that he told
"And he left this note behind him, and a parcel for the wife.
Well, as through the world I've rambled, I've seen funny men galore
Yes, as through this world you ramble, and I don't think that I'm wrong, [ duplicate messages deleted by (a very confused) mudelf ;-) ] |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 81 (We're Back!!) From: McGrath of Harlow Date: 22 May 02 - 06:19 PM Sorry about that - don't ask me what happened. |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 81 (We're Back!!) From: Áine Date: 22 May 02 - 06:27 PM Whoo-eee, Kevin -- You sure know how to make our heads twirl ;-) . . .
Here's your B.L.O.B. for: |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 81 (We're Back!!) From: Amos Date: 22 May 02 - 08:38 PM LOL, Kevin!! I can hear ole Pete singing that his own self!! :>) A |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 81 (We're Back!!) From: GUEST,Isaac McKittery Date: 23 May 02 - 08:30 AM DON'T WEAR ANY PANTS THAT ARE MADE BY THE CHUCKS! By Isaac McKittery Good luck till all here, McKittery's the name No, I'll not have a sate, thanks a lot all the same For I've only dropped by and I won't stay for long I'll just stop for a minute till sing yez a song I'm normally found in the thread 'bout Drumcree It's the type of a thread that appeals well till me For there you'll find boys that are loyal and true Till the orange and black and the red, white and blue CHORUS So here's till the boys from Tanderagee Who're up till their oxters in glar in Drumcree I'll sing this wee song, then come back in a flash Till wear my white gloves and my bowler and sash I went till Nutts Corner one Sunday of late The crack till be had at the market is great I met Kyle from Ahoghill and Derryadd Sam And we spoke with great fondness of the town by the Bann Until then round a stall a great crowd we did spy "What's goin' on there, boy?" says Sammy till I "Let's have a wee jewk", says I till my crew And straight till the stall the three of us flew CHORUS There wiz knickers and drawers and g-strings and thongs And all sorts of wonderful carryin'-on Crotchless and lacy and frilly and sheer (I imagined the boul' Rhondda decked out in that gear It made my heart race and my mouth went all dry Thon image will haunt me right up till I die!) There was belts for suspenders and bras with no holders To carry the pendulous paps of their owners CHORUS "What is the make of this stuff?" then I asked When your man whispered till me, I let out a gasp "Good people of Ulster, don't part with your cash And buy any of this Republican trash!" "Republican, how?" Brother Sammy did say "A look at the label will gave it away … For these knickers are made in Falls, believe me, It says PROVO-cateur quite plainly to see!" CHORUS Our anger boiled over; we true sons of Bill, Destroyed every stitch, every ribbon and frill And trampled the rags into the thick clay That's the blight of each farmer who farms near Lough Neagh And we stood as one man when our work it was done And the songs of our heritage loudly we sung "The Boyne Water", "The Sash" and "The Magheralin Ducks" And "Don't Wear Any Pants That Are Made By The Chucks" CHORUS
duplicated post deleted by mudelf ;-) |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 81 (We're Back!!) From: Amos Date: 23 May 02 - 11:31 AM Blow, blow, thou mountain winde! Wisquey Chauser :>)
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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 81 (We're Back!!) From: MMario Date: 23 May 02 - 11:45 AM ! my sides hurt from laughing!
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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 81 (We're Back!!) From: Lonesome EJ Date: 23 May 02 - 01:41 PM Land of the Midnight Fun
The thieves parked their truck at the pawn shop and went in to talk to Big Sam
CHO: There were thongs and garters and panties
After visiting numerous hock shops, and just selling one item at a time
And far from the madding crowds, and the reach of Scotland Yard's might CHO... |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 81 (We're Back!!) From: Áine Date: 23 May 02 - 02:17 PM Derry, derry me, Isaac -- aren't you a randy ol' flute -- I'm quite Tadhgen aback by your entry ;-) Here's your very special Green B.L.O.B. for: "What is the make of this stuff?" then I asked When your man whispered till me, I let out a gasp "Good people of Ulster, don't part with your cash And buy any of this Republican trash!" "Republican, how?" Brother Sammy did say "A look at the label will gave it away … For these knickers are made in Falls, believe me, It says PROVO-cateur quite plainly to see!" And here's your B.L.O.B., dear LEJ, for your properly propogative pearls of prose in: And far from the madding crowds, and the reach of Scotland Yard's might Eskimo Men bought their wives lingerie, for comfort on long Arctic nights And after two years of McGinnis's flights, there was never a glimmer of trouble And under the glow of the bright Northern Lights, the Tribes' population had doubled Way to go, Challenge!rs, Áine |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 81 (We're Back!!) From: Amos Date: 23 May 02 - 03:02 PM Holy Moly!! Nice to hear the old tongues coming out of the woodwork...uh...well..you know what I mean!! A |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 81 (We're Back!!) From: Lonesome EJ Date: 23 May 02 - 04:40 PM OH MY GOD! A B.L.O.B.!! I'd like to thank the Academy...I mean, you like me! You really like me! And..er.. what the hell IS a B.L.O.B. anyway?
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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 81 (We're Back!!) From: Áine Date: 23 May 02 - 05:12 PM B.L.O.B. equals Best Line O' Bull -- just a little incentive the Keeper of the Book gives out during a Challenge! to the outstanding verse(s) in a song . . . chosen by her in a completely arbitrary and prejudiced manner, of course ;-) -- Áine |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 81 (We're Back!!) From: Amos Date: 23 May 02 - 05:17 PM LEJ: Just dust off the old Virtual Mantelpiece and put it up there to make all your relatives proud!! Or I suppose you could take it down to the 'Shack and put it on a shelf over your desk, but the staff would wonder what the hell you were dusting all the time!! LOL A |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 81 (We're Back!!) From: JenEllen Date: 23 May 02 - 05:19 PM Echo MMario, my sides ache. Good stuff you guys, and thanks Aine for the return of the Challenge. Another 'Thumbody Done Thumbody Wrong Thong' to follow soon. ~J |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 81 (We're Back!!) From: GUEST,Isaac McKittery Date: 23 May 02 - 05:21 PM Surely you mean Londonderry Londonderry me! No surrender! An lamh dearg abu! |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 81 (We're Back!!) From: Áine Date: 23 May 02 - 07:31 PM A Isaac, bí i do thost, a phaiste dana!! Níl mé ach ag magadh ort ;-) Le meas is mise Áine Rua (bí i do náire, bí i do náire go hiontach...)
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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 81 (We're Back!!) From: alison Date: 24 May 02 - 12:07 AM hey Isaac ... do the boys up the hill know you're bilingual?????? slainte alison |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 81 (We're Back!!) From: Deda Date: 24 May 02 - 12:29 AM Aine, thank heavens you're back -- I'd have no creative life whatsoever without you. Some would say I haven't much in any case.
Try on this Underwear
Lace teddies and Stiletto heels Chorus.
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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 81 (We're Back!!) From: Deda Date: 24 May 02 - 12:31 AM Argh -- last line first verse should be "Once they've put on the lace and silk..." I shouldn't be allowed to copy edit. Well, actually, I'm not. (don't worry, fixed up by a joeclone) |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 81 (We're Back!!) From: Amos Date: 24 May 02 - 12:40 AM Whooo!!! Little sister, you're hotter than Stolene Thonge!! LOL! I love it!! I can hear Peter ,Paul, and Mary doing it in their most sincere voices! Good work!! A |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 81 (We're Back!!) From: michaelr Date: 24 May 02 - 01:53 AM Deda - brilliant! As I was scanning your lyric, in my head I heard your verses to the melody of Bruce Cockburn's "Shipwrecked at the Stable Door" - it works perfectly! (The chorus doesn't, but that's Bruce's fault, nor yours). Big bravos all around to the other writers, too. Well done! Cheers, Michael |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 81 (We're Back!!) From: wysiwyg Date: 24 May 02 - 02:18 AM PAUL & SILAS
Well, Paul & Silas, bound in jail, all night long (black and lacy)
Well the jailer brought them contraband, all night long (he was kinky)
Well, they posed like trash and their thunder-thighs roared, all night long (they were dancin'!)
Well, that old jail just reeled and rocked, all night long (such high fashion!)
So Paul and Silas prayed and prayed, all night long ("where'd it come from?") Well...... (long pause..... then, slow and quiet, it resumes, building steam for a big finish....)
... they heard the answer from on high, all night long ("are ya kiddin'?") ~S~ duplicate post deleted by mudelf ;-) |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 81 (We're Back!!) From: GUEST,Isaac McKittery Date: 24 May 02 - 05:56 AM alison Sure, aren't all of us boys on the hill bi-lingual (in the sense that we spake wi' forked tongues ...)? Isaac |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 81 (We're Back!!) From: MMario Date: 24 May 02 - 08:37 AM I'd say the womenfolk are burning up the wires with their contributions! WOW! |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 81 (We're Back!!) From: Amos Date: 24 May 02 - 08:40 AM This has gotto be a Mudcat First~ An Underwear Spiritual!! LOL!!! Now all we need to do is develop Spirichyooal Undies! (OHM BVD's!) A |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 81 (We're Back!!) From: MMario Date: 24 May 02 - 09:49 AM perhaps she should get a SACREDCOWCHIP? |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 81 (We're Back!!) From: Áine Date: 24 May 02 - 10:32 AM Dear Deda (aka one very creative lil' sister, anytime of the day!), here's your well earned B.L.O.B. for your hirsute hilarity in: The girls are wearing boxer shorts Or boring cotton briefs From L.L. Bean or other dorks They've only brought you grief But the plain white bras, and boxer shorts Will soon be hid in shame Once they've put on the lace and silk It won't come off again And to Weezie, a B.L.O.B. for this fantastic fit o' fantasy (and boy howdy, was it hard to pick from such a great song!): Well, they posed like trash and their thunder-thighs roared, all night long (they were dancin'!) Oh, they posed like trash and their thunder-thighs roared, all night long (they were prancin'!) Yes, they posed like trash and their thunder-thighs roared, all night long (soul-enhancin'!) "But who did deliver this for free?" Keep it up (and keep it on!), Challenge!rs!! -- Áine |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 81 (We're Back!!) From: wysiwyg Date: 24 May 02 - 10:53 AM *G* I don't think I can sing that one in church any time soon (the original!!). "Black & lacy" is SO much more interesting than "hallelujah!" I'm afraid it may slip ut when I'm not paying attention! Of course the alternative is really scary-- "Keep your hands on the thong, hold on!" ~S~ |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 81 (We're Back!!) From: Deda Date: 24 May 02 - 11:15 AM Yikes -- I hadn't had time to read the other entries before I submitted mine, now I'm at my office giggling and grinning for no apparent reason. (At least, I hope it's not too apparent, I'm in trouble enough as it is.) These are all so great. Aine, this goes down on your public service record -- creating and presiding over a forum for this much fun. (YEEE haw) |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 81 (We're Back!!) From: Aidan Crossey Date: 24 May 02 - 04:49 PM To the tune of "The Charladies' Ball" as sung by Frank Harte on ""Daybreak and a Candle-End" THE UNDERWEAR HAUL You may talk of your lingerie, wee clothes and undies Your bras and your knickers, your garters and all But wait till I tell you of the gas that we had On the night that we came on the underwear haul It was down by the docks, that we found a big box "Shall we have a wee look-see" says I to my mate The stuff that we spied as we both looked inside "Oh mother of God" says herself "This is great!" At the underwear haul, people said one and all You're the belle of the ball, Mrs Brannigan There was peephole and crotchless (thank God they were spotless) And some that I'll never have on again, bedad There was lacy frillies and leopard-print And some that would scarce fit a doll! And some had no back ... just a string up your bum-crack The night that we came on the underwear haul There was some that were tiny and some that were shiny The sort of oul' yokes that might dampen your bush There's some you might wear and your oul' derriere Might be damn near bare and might make your man blush There was zips, aye and straps and to cup your oul' baps Some underwired yoke that fair gave me a lift If my man caught an eyeful of me in this trifle He'd be asking, no doubt, if I fancied a shift! At the underwear haul, people said one and all You're the belle of the ball, Mrs Brannigan There was eyelets and poppers (I near came a cropper) And some that I'll never have on again, bedad There was lacy frillies and leopard-print And some that would scarce fit a doll! And some, truth be toul' wouldn't keep out much coul' The night that we came on the underwear haul There was some that were see-through and some that were pee-through On account of the fact that their gusset was split "That's handy!" said Mandy "When you're feeling randy You lift up your skirt and for duty you're fit!" There was knickers in leather, I'm sure they won't weather I like to have things that will wash - don't we all So when all's said and done, it was quare bloody fun But I'd rather my oul' drawers than the underwear haul At the underwear haul, people said one and all You're the belle of the ball, Mrs Brannigan There was satin and ribbons (they were gorgeous, no fibbing!) And some that I'll never have on again, bedad There was lacy frillies and leopard-print And some that would scarce fit a doll! It was gas for a while, but give me the oul' style Than all that weird gear in the underwear haul |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 81 (We're Back!!) From: Deda Date: 24 May 02 - 04:59 PM Yow, Derry - that's brilliant! LOL, LOL -- and I actually am, good thing it's Friday before a long w/end and there's no one around. Lovely to get the Challenges and Challengers back, huzzah! |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 81 (We're Back!!) From: Amos Date: 24 May 02 - 05:36 PM Derry's back in golden form!! Way to go, lad!! Just (as the Yanks say) WUNNERFUL. A |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 81 (We're Back!!) From: Bradypus Date: 24 May 02 - 07:55 PM Brilliant, Derry. I'm feeling out of practice, but here goes:
Secret Agent Provocateur
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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 81 (We're Back!!) From: MMario Date: 24 May 02 - 08:22 PM ROFLMAO! |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 81 (We're Back!!) From: Amos Date: 24 May 02 - 08:28 PM LOL, Brady!! Like TGG said, it's like riding a bicycle! A. |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 81 (We're Back!!) From: Áine Date: 26 May 02 - 10:26 AM I noticed that you all had let this one slip off the 24-hour thread list . . . for shame . . . so, besides giving out a couple more B.L.O.B.s, I'm going to be tempting you with a bodacious blast from the past that ties in with this Challenge! Does anyone remember this golden oldie???
As to the B.L.O.B.s, here's one for you, derrymacash, for this hilarious description of the high-fashion hiney hiders: -- Áine
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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 81 (We're Back!!) From: Amos Date: 26 May 02 - 11:12 AM Dang, I had forgotten all about that Blue Minks song -- it qualifies for the "Rewriting the Boomer Songs" thread, too! :>) Tell ya what, TGG -- it's clear these Challenges have only gotten better over the years!! LOL! A |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 81 (We're Back!!) From: GUEST,Johnny Cash Date: 27 May 02 - 08:00 AM I admit it, folks! I burgled the underwear shop.
FOLSOM PRISON BLUES #679
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