Bawdy songs for women to sing

Subject: Bawdy songs for women to sing
From: GUEST,Nancy
Date: 17 Apr 01 - 07:36 PM

I know there's a link somewhere here but I couldn't find it! Anyway, husband is turning 50 and I need some humorous bawdy songs for women to sing about men. Any suggestions or links greatly appreciated:)

Cheers, Nancy

Subject: RE: Bawdy songs for women to sing
From: GUEST,Bruce O.
Date: 17 Apr 01 - 07:43 PM

"Trap; or the young lass", (broadside title, see the broadside ballad index on my website for copy location), later called "My thing is my own".

Subject: RE: Bawdy songs for women to sing
From: GUEST,Bruce O.
Date: 17 Apr 01 - 07:45 PM

It's in DT file THINGOWN.

Subject: RE: Bawdy songs for women to sing
From: Mr Red
Date: 17 Apr 01 - 07:47 PM

"Nine Times a Night"
Then there is the Paul Ryan (UK) song about the Devil and a Widow, can't remember the title but the general gist is "100 times a night"

Subject: RE: Bawdy songs for women to sing
From: GUEST,Bruce O.
Date: 17 Apr 01 - 07:52 PM

You can find early copies of "Nine times a night" on the Bodley Ballads website. Use Browse (title) on '9 times'.

Subject: RE: Bawdy songs for women to sing
From: Helen
Date: 17 Apr 01 - 08:00 PM

John Anderson My Jo, as sung by the Scottish harp duo called Sileas, i.e. Patsy Seddon and Mary McMaster.

They have lots of raucous songs on their albums (I have Beating Harps and Delighted with Harps) - a real treat for women to hear the female perspective on raunchiness. It's a treat, too, to hear harpers who don't just play "pretty" music, although it's hard to find album reviewers who see it that way. Harp music seems to disconnect people's analytical powers somehow so that the fact that it is harp music disconnects from the fact that they are singing raunchy women's lyrics. Sorry for my bemused rambling.

Helen

Subject: RE: Bawdy songs for women to sing
From: lady penelope
Date: 17 Apr 01 - 08:17 PM

One of my favourites is a shanty by Capriole

The Feminist Sea Shanty - Hurrah For Toy Boys!

Another oneof theirs is their version of "sixteen tons" "Sixteen Stone"

I've only got them on tape and I don't know if they're all that available ( in England that is ). Drop me a message if you'd like a copy.

TTFN M'Lady P.

Subject: RE: Bawdy songs for women to sing
From: GUEST,Bruce O.
Date: 17 Apr 01 - 08:23 PM

"John Anderson, my Jo"- the 5 verse version of 1744, and the 6 verse one of 1768 are in the Scarce Songs 2 file on my website, where you'll also find 3 copies of the tune that are older than any text. www.erols.com/olsonw

I mean the original one, of course, not Robert Burns recast version.

Subject: RE: Bawdy songs for women to sing
From: GUEST,Timbrel
Date: 17 Apr 01 - 09:38 PM

Maids, When You;re Young, Never Wed an Old Man

Subject: RE: Bawdy songs for women to sing
From: alison
Date: 17 Apr 01 - 09:57 PM

cucumbers are better than men

slainte

alison

Subject: RE: Bawdy songs for women to sing
From: Bert
Date: 17 Apr 01 - 10:03 PM

Search for @BAWDY. Men like them ALL.

Subject: RE: Bawdy songs for women to sing
From: Chicken Charlie
Date: 17 Apr 01 - 10:17 PM

Nancy--

May I suggest looking thru Elizabethan material?? Bawdy songs haven't been the same since Bess died. Somewhere I have a tape of "My Thing is My Own," for example, which is sung by a young woman besieged by a whole series of men in ways she describes in terms of their professions, e.g. "A master of music came with the intent/ To give me a lesson on my instrument," etc. I will try to dig up discography on that, but try the title on DT and wherever else you know to search titles.

Chicken Charlie

Subject: RE: Bawdy songs for women to sing
From: mousethief
Date: 17 Apr 01 - 11:06 PM

"My husband has no courage in him" -- this was on an album (later CD) by Maddy Prior and June Tabor.

Alex

Subject: RE: Bawdy songs for women to sing
From: GUEST,Bruce O.
Date: 17 Apr 01 - 11:06 PM

I've already pointed out "Trap; or the young lass/ My thing is my own", which is much latter than Elizabethan (Charles II's time). Almost all bawdy Elizabeth songs known are in the Scarce Songs 1 file on my website. [Maulken was a country maid/ Carman's Whistle/ Watkin's Ale/ Nash's Dildoe, and a few not known to have ever been printed. See also the long history of "Dabbling in the dew makes mikmaids fair" there. "Friar and Nun" is pre-Elizabethan, as are those in Robbins' and 2 other collections of 14th and 15 century secular lyrics). Also pre-Elizabethan is "Kitt hath lost her key" and other songs in 'Bassus', 1530 (Collier's forged version of "Kitt" is 1846-8] www.erols.com/olsonw

Subject: RE: Bawdy songs for women to sing
From: GUEST,Bruce O.
Date: 17 Apr 01 - 11:30 PM

I've refreshed the old "Serving girl's holiday" thread for you to look at.

Subject: RE: Bawdy songs for women to sing
From: artbrooks
Date: 17 Apr 01 - 11:58 PM

There is a great one about a wife sewing her husband up in a sheet and then bashing him with a skillet for good and sufficient reasons, but I can't recall the name of it.

Subject: RE: Bawdy songs for women to sing
From: GUEST,Bruce O.
Date: 18 Apr 01 - 01:33 AM

There are a lot of dometic strife ballads, but they aren't usually very bawdy. See "The Cobbler of Colchester" (Elizaethan) in the Collier's Forgeries file on my website (he didn't forge all of it and I've all that's in the original). "Dick German the Cobler" (on Bodley Ballads website it's "Dick Darling the Cobler") [cobbler and cobler spellings seem to be about equal]. They often hinge on the husand's excessive drinking habits (little time at home and no money left for family necessities).

Subject: RE: Bawdy songs for women to sing
From: roopoo
Date: 18 Apr 01 - 02:29 AM

Hands up all those who have seen Mrs Duck sing "The Old Maid in the Garret", carrot in hand! Brings tears to men's eyes and a smile to the face of us women!!

Andrea

Subject: RE: Bawdy songs for women to sing
From: MARINER
Date: 18 Apr 01 - 02:57 AM

There is an album called "Songs of Love, Lust and Loose Living" by , if memory serves me well, Tony Britton and Isla Cameron which should fit the picture. It came out in the 60s and surely must have been re-issues on C.D. by now.There are some crackers on that.

Subject: RE: Bawdy songs for women to sing
From: KingBrilliant
Date: 18 Apr 01 - 05:18 AM

Firelock Stile (its in the database). Its a cautionary tale about a young lad who gets lured into the woods by a lady of questionable morals - and ends up catching a dose of something nasty.
Hamm & I sang it a while back - and were quizzed afterwards about 'what was that word in the second verse?'.....

Also - Seven drunken nights? That's a good one. Its sung from the male perspective - but the woman is obviously coming out on top, so to speak!

Kris

Subject: RE: Bawdy songs for women to sing
From: The Shambles
Date: 18 Apr 01 - 07:56 AM

I'm Respectable Now.

In The Mudcat Songbook.

Subject: RE: Bawdy songs for women to sing
From: pattyClink
Date: 18 Apr 01 - 11:02 AM

How bawdy? If you want pretty, naughty, with a great group chorus, try 'Morning Glory' (change a few "I"s to "He"s and you're good to go

If you want truly disgustingly vulgar, I will yield the floor to those who know more about that sort of thing.

Subject: RE: Bawdy songs for women to sing
From: LR Mole
Date: 18 Apr 01 - 11:07 AM

You couldn't get me into this thread with a gun. Except for saying what I just said.

Subject: RE: Bawdy songs for women to sing
From: dick greenhaus
Date: 18 Apr 01 - 11:17 AM

Oddly enough in Southern Appalachia, Scotland and Ireland at least (and I suspect in the rest of the English-speaking workd), women were traditionally the repository for bawdy songs.And sang them with great gusto!

" if all the young ladies were singing this song It would be twice as dirty and ten times as long......."

Subject: Lyr/Chords Add: MALE BONDING SONG
From: Charley Noble
Date: 18 Apr 01 - 11:33 AM

I's really like to see the words posted for The Feminist Sea Shanty - Hurrah For Toy Boys!

As for my contribution there's The Male Bonding Song, lost somewhere admist recent threads which runs:

MALE BONDING SONG
(Words & Music by Bill Gallaher © 1995 From The Last Battle CD BGM 1002)

  
  G                                      C 
  When we learned, it was a shocking re-ve-lation 
        D                                         G 
  That somehow as men we simply hadn't grown;
                               G7                 C 
  So we looked at all you women, and your pride in feminism,
            D7                               G 
  And we started up a movement of our own.
         C  D  G         C            D 
  Now we are men, and proud to be men;
       G           C              D 
  We meet every Sa-tur-day at three;
                G                         G7 
  And we ex-plore with great per-sis-tence,
        C 
  Our mas-cu-line existence,
             D                                           G 
  Beat our drums, and run off naked through the trees.
  
  Chorus:
  G                                                C 
  Oh, we all go running naked through the trees,
      D                             G 
  As naked as a jaybird, if you please,
                                 G7 
  Oh, we throw off all our wrappings,
               C 
  And with private parts a-flapping,
        D                                     G 
  We all go running naked through the trees!
  

Yes, every weekend we all meet deep in the forest,
Where we beat our drums and fashion spears from trees;
And with our faces painted, we all get re-acquainted
With our atavistic masculinity.
For we are men and proud to be men,
We meet every Saturday at three;
And we flaunt with great pretension
Those long penile extensions,
As we all go running naked through the trees...

I guess we spent too long pretending we were something we were not,
While we hid our inner turmoil and our strife;
You thought we had a bed of roses though we stood with runny noses,
Pressed up hard against the window pane of life.
Now we are men and damn proud to be men,
We meet every Saturday at three;
And if you think it's just depravity,
You don't know what it's like to be,
A man gone running naked through the trees (It hurts!)...

Subject: RE: Bawdy songs for women to sing
From: Kim C
Date: 18 Apr 01 - 11:39 AM

The Brisk Young Butcher

Subject: RE: Bawdy songs for women to sing
From: GUEST,#1
Date: 18 Apr 01 - 11:54 AM

Dick, it's that old testosterone. After a man gets through a few bawdy lines he can't get his mind back off that erection he has.

Subject: RE: Bawdy songs for women to sing
From: GUEST,#1
Date: 18 Apr 01 - 05:34 PM

Hours and hours, past now. Hasn't anyone figured out how to help that poor man with his erection problem?

Subject: RE: Bawdy songs for women to sing
From: artbrooks
Date: 18 Apr 01 - 05:50 PM

"Barnacle Bill the Sailor"

Subject: RE: Bawdy songs for women to sing
From: harpmolly
Date: 18 Apr 01 - 06:00 PM

Well, "Do You Love An Apple," isn't bawdy per se, but it contains one of my very favorite lines ever:

"Before I got married I wore a black shawl,
But since I've got married, I wear bugger-all!"

ahhh...gotta love it. :)

And then there's always Kate Rusby's "Cowsong,":

"Oh, when this young man he awoke,
Both girl and cow were gone;
And also were the shoes he wore
And the trousers he had on!

So come all you young men, near and far,
Never heed a maiden's call;
Never trust a girl with your mother's cow,
Never let your trousers fall!"

I might not have got all the words correct, but you get the idea. :)

M

Subject: RE: Bawdy songs for women to sing
From: Mr Red
Date: 18 Apr 01 - 06:56 PM

artbrooks
Isn't that song "a Stitch in Time"
Martin Carthy's been singing it for eons, at least ten years before Euen McColl sang it on his last record and suddenly Mike Waterson has to share the copyright with him. Carthy never mentioned that!. He always mentions it is a true story from the Hull Daily Mail.
Bawdy songs,
what about "A Trooper Watering His Nag" (described as an old song in 1715). It is a tale and non gender specific.
One woman thanked me for singing more verses because she only knew the last verse - as a nursery rhyme.
viz There was an old woman lived underneath the hill, with me rowdy dowdy dow and me rowdy dowdy day. And if she's not dead then she's living there still, Was it so, was it so was it so?

Subject: RE: Bawdy songs for women to sing
From: GUEST,Bruce O.
Date: 18 Apr 01 - 07:38 PM

Mr. Red, that "Trooper Watering his Nag" was in 'Pills to Purge Melancholy', IV, pp. 55-6, 1707, but I've not seen any evidence that it's older than that. If you have some evidence for it being older please show it.

Subject: RE: Bawdy songs for women to sing
From: GUEST,#1
Date: 18 Apr 01 - 09:03 PM

Well, I'm glad to see I didn't kill the thread. Maybe it will get interesting yet.

Subject: RE: Bawdy songs for women to sing
From: Bert
Date: 18 Apr 01 - 09:39 PM

The carrot reference reminded me of this one. I'm surprised it's noy in DT.

All the nice girls love a candle
All the nice girls love a wick
for there's something about a candle
it feels so like a prick
Nice and greasy, slips in easy
It's the ladies pride and joy
It's been up the Queen of Spain
and it's going up again
Ship ahoy! Sailor boy!

Subject: RE: Bawdy songs for women to sing
From: GUEST,#1
Date: 18 Apr 01 - 09:40 PM

What happened to "Bollocky Bill the Sailor"? I thought we were after the bawdy ones.

Subject: Lyr Add: THE WIDOW (from the Poozies)
From: DaisyA
Date: 19 Apr 01 - 06:28 AM

The one about the widow and the devil is called The Widow's Moor - I heard a great version by the Poozies, sung by Kate Rusby.


THE WIDOW
As recorded by The Poozies on "Raise Your Head (A Retrospective)" (2000)

High upon a lonely moor, a widow lived alone.
And in she kept, and as she slept, her pillow heard her moan:
"Oh, many is the traveller has spent the night with me.
There's not a man in all creation gives content to me!

"Well, some can manage once or twice, and some make three or four.
It seems to me a rarity is the man who can do more.
I'll do anything to find him, in heaven or in Hell."
And as these words were spoken, then she heard the front-door bell.

CHORUS: And the wind blew cold and lonely across that widow's moor,
And she never ever turned away a traveller from the door.

So boldly then the widow, ran; the door she opened wide,
And as she did, a tall and handsome stranger stepped inside.
She gave him bread and brandy, and when that he was fed,
He said: "My dear, now have no fear; it's time to come to bed.

"For I've heard your call way down below, and I've come to see you right,
But you must come to Hell with me if I can last the night."
She said: "You randy devil! To this bargain I'll agree,
For Hell on earth or Hell in Hell, it's all the same to me!" CHORUS

When they both fell into bed, the devil was working well.
He thought before the night was through she'd be in his hell,
But when they came to number nine, the widow cried out: "More!"
When the twelfth time came around, again she cried for more.

At twenty-five, the devil felt compelled to take a rest,
But the widow she said: "Come raise your head, and put me to the test!"
At sixty-nine, the widow laughed. "Again! Again!" she cried,
And the devil said: "Well, I can see just how your husband died!" CHORUS

At ninety-nine, the devil he began to cry and weep.
He said: "I'll give you anything if you'll let me go to sleep!"
Before the morning light was up, the devil hobbled home.
The widow, still not satisfied, once more was left alone.

Then as she lay and grumbled, she thought of ninety-nine.
"If only that old devil could have made it one more time!
I'll call him up again tonight to see what can be done.
With a little more application, he could've made the ton!"

When she called to him that night, no devil did appear.
For the first time in eternity, the devil he shook with fear.
He said: "Of all the torment I've witnessed here in Hell,
I never knew what pain was 'till I rang your front-door bell!" CHORUS X3


Hope you like it. I also know a few songs about sexually transmitted diseases, but not yet sure whether they are appropriate for Mudcat!

Daisy

Subject: RE: Bawdy songs for women to sing
From: MMario
Date: 19 Apr 01 - 08:41 AM

G#1 - some people make a distinction between "Bawdy" and "downright crude" - a song with clever double entendre will often go down better, and be more useful in more situations - then a blatant(blatent?)one.

Subject: RE: Bawdy songs for women to sing
From: Louisa
Date: 19 Apr 01 - 08:50 AM

What about The Buxom Lass sang by Nancy Kerr with the Kings Of Callicutt, on the second Evolving tradition album? Sorry can not be bothered to type out all the words, but it always goes down well in the pub.

Also Polly Oliver's Rambles (on the database I think) is pretty funny. She's not really bawdy but manages to successfully trick her husband-to-be!

Louisa

Subject: RE: Bawdy songs for women to sing
From: JudeL
Date: 19 Apr 01 - 01:03 PM

Try:
Cottage for sale,
Dog & gun ( also known as the Yorkshire couple)
cuckoo's nest,
the skivvy,
knocking nellie,
Jean the whiplash queen,
or even: Rolling in the clover

Subject: Lyr Add: THE DINGHY SONG^^
From: harpmolly
Date: 19 Apr 01 - 01:03 PM

Okay, I'm sorry to repeat myself, but for this thread it bears repeating:

"The Dinghy Song" as heard on the Dr. Demento show...can't remember who sang it. I quoted some lyrics on the "Dirty songs from the '50s" thread, but I don't know how to do clickys so I'll just give you a few here again. it's a GREAT song. :)

"He's got the cutest little dinghy in the Navy,
And all the girlies know that it's so!
The cutest little dinghy in the Navy,
They love to watch him go heave-ho!

It isn't very long and it isn't very short,
It's built for speedy action and it gets him into port!

It isn't very narrow and it isn't very wide,
But you should see that thing go in and out with the tide!

The cutest little dinghy in the Navy,
Heave-ho, heave-ho!

Now I have seen a hundred other dinghies,
And I'm qualified to remark
He's got the cutest little dinghy in the Navy,
Why, I would know it even in the dark!

etc. etc.

At least I remembered the damn line breaks this time...

I wonder if this song would work on the harp...hmmm...

M

Subject: RE: Bawdy songs for women to sing
From: GUEST,Mr Red
Date: 19 Apr 01 - 01:05 PM

Bruce O
I only got a look in the Dover facsimile version or "Pills to Purge Melancholly", on the open shelves at the Bodliean. Because I requested the wrong 1715 "Pills"
I think correct "Pills" (both edited by Thomas D'Urfey) was published in 1719 but most songs were listed as composed by a person but some, including the Trooper, did not. The Trooper was most definitely described as an "old song". I take that to mean more than 20 years and probably older than memory.
no other info.

Subject: Lyr Add: YOU'VE BEEN A GOOD OLD WAGON^^
From: Mark Clark
Date: 19 Apr 01 - 02:14 PM

This has to be the greatest song for a woman to sing to a man turning fifty.

      - Mark

GOOD OLD WAGON
Sung by: Bessie Smith

Looka here, Daddy, I want to tell you, please get out of my sight,
I'm playin' quits now, right from this very night,
You've had your day, don't sit around and frown,
You've been a good old wagon, Daddy but you done broke down.

Now you'd better go the the blacksmith shop, and get yourself overhauled,
There's nothing about you to make a good woman fall,
Nobody wants a baby when a real man can be found,
You've been a good old wagon, Daddy but you done broke down.

When the sun is shinin', it's time to make hay,
Automobiles operate, you can't make your wagon pay,
When you were in your prime, you liked to run around,
You've been a good old wagon, Daddy but you done broke down.

There's no need to cry and make a big show,
This man knows more about lovin' than you will ever know,
He is the king of lovin, this man deserves a crown,
He is a good old wagon, Daddy and he ain't broke down.

Subject: RE: Bawdy songs for women to sing
From: cait
Date: 19 Apr 01 - 02:15 PM

most any ol' thing sung by memphis minnie, blues with fem attitude, she was horny and made her way in a man's world with no apologies!

my hero... http://www.geocities.com/BourbonStreet/Delta/2541/blmminni.htm

Subject: RE: Bawdy songs for women to sing
From: GUEST,Wavestar
Date: 19 Apr 01 - 02:24 PM

"The Scotsman" is always good, as is "That can't be" (I'll find words and post them if you can't find them.) Jimmy be Fair, also known by other various but similar titles. "Keep your Hands off Red-Haired Mary" is amusing, but from a male perspective, but "How Can I Keep my Maidenhead" is from a girl's point of view...

I'd also like to see the Toy Boys song...

-J

Subject: Lyr Add: HURRAH FOR TOYBOYS
From: lady penelope
Date: 19 Apr 01 - 02:26 PM

Here ye go Charley Noble, the tune's fairly standard for a shanty.

Hurrah For ToyBoys!
By Capriole

I went into a singles bar looking for romance
Hurrah for Toyboys let's have one over here
And there I saw a sweet young thing and thought I'd take a chance
Hurrah......

Chorus
Let's have one over here me girls
Let's have one over here
Hurrah for toyboys, let's have one over here

His eyes were blue his skin was soft and curly was his hair
Hurrah.....
His teeth were white his jeans were tight, he had a lovely pair
Hurrah.....

Chorus

He said he'd like an older girl to teach him all she knows
Hurrah......
And once you start a toyboy off he simply goes and goes
Hurrah.....

Chorus

A man is almost past his best when he is 17
Hurrah.....
But an older girl is better if you don't know where she's been
Hurrah.....

Chorus

I took him home right there and then to teach him all I knew
Hurrah...
And in my hands I quickly found his confidence just grew
Hurrah....

Chorus

I'm glad to say we both were pleased, I'm sure you understand
Hurrah......
Now I have trained this sweet young boy the girls can try the man!
Hurrah.....

Chorus........Yeah!

TTFN M'Lady P.

Subject: RE: Bawdy songs for women to sing
From: Mr Red
Date: 19 Apr 01 - 07:11 PM

If we include blues what about "My Kitchen Man" I think was Bessie Smith and quite a few of Ma Rainey's repertoire. The one that springs to mind is probably called "Catch You with your britches down" about a philandering husband.
then there's the one that includes the line "You got the right key baby but the wrong keyhole". I'm sure there are those who can be more specific on these.
good luck

Subject: RE: Bawdy songs for women to sing
From: GUEST,Bruce O.
Date: 19 Apr 01 - 07:46 PM

"How can I keep my maidenhead" is in the Scarce Song 2 file on my website, with the proper tune (copies of 1709 and 1745). The tune was someplace published under the remarkable title, "How can I keep my maidenhead". {And it's not "The Berks of Abergeldie")

Subject: RE: Bawdy songs for women to sing
From: NightWing
Date: 19 Apr 01 - 10:47 PM

lady penelope,

To what tune do you sing Toyboys? I have a couple of friends who would LOVE to learn this one.

BB,
NightWing

Subject: RE: Bawdy songs for women to sing
From: RWilhelm
Date: 20 Apr 01 - 01:20 AM

My wife sings "Follow the Band" (in the database)

My husband's a mason, a mason, a mason
A very fine mason is he
All day he lays bricks, he lays bricks,
He lays bricks
And at night he comes home and drinks tea.

etc.

Subject: RE: Bawdy songs for women to sing
From: Bert
Date: 20 Apr 01 - 01:38 AM

MMario me ol' china, downright crude works for me every time;-)