BS: Kendall's latest physical

Subject: RE: BS: Kendall's latest physical
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Apr 12 - 10:05 AM

I looked and yup, he's in the "Guinness Book of World Records" (unexpurgated edition, available only to librarians and archivists).

To save poor little Becca's eyes I shan't list the other things he's in there for.

Subject: RE: BS: Kendall's latest physical
From: kendall
Date: 02 Apr 12 - 10:39 AM

Of course, if what I said was true, I wouldn't mention it.

Subject: RE: BS: Kendall's latest physical
From: jacqui.c
Date: 02 Apr 12 - 12:14 PM

Rap - did the Guiness Book Of Records list the greatest number of lies in the shortest time? I KNOW he has that one.

Subject: RE: BS: Kendall's latest physical
From: Bobert
Date: 02 Apr 12 - 01:11 PM

You gonna take that, Capt'n???

B~

Subject: RE: BS: Kendall's latest physical
From: kendall
Date: 02 Apr 12 - 02:43 PM

For a humorist, that's a compliment.

Subject: RE: BS: Kendall's latest physical
From: catspaw49
Date: 02 Apr 12 - 06:07 PM

Yeah....humorists....and crapped out, shriveled, old, gasbags............


Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Kendall's latest physical
From: SINSULL
Date: 02 Apr 12 - 06:23 PM

Speaking of crapped out, shrivelled old gas bags...HI SPAW!


Now get down the cellar until I say you can come up.

Subject: RE: BS: Kendall's latest physical
From: Bill D
Date: 02 Apr 12 - 08:52 PM

addictive gene.... addictive personality.... who knows? I suspect there ARE such things, because I don't seem to have either. After reading all this (was out of town this weekend) I count myself very lucky. I grew up in a house full of smoke, and my younger brother started both smoking & drinking as soon as he could get away with it.
I simply never started... never had one puff of a cigarette... and I love beer, scotch, rum...etc... but simply do not over-indulge.
I have no idea whether to take credit... or just to keep feeling lucky. (I DO remember, however, when I was about 12-13, doing some arithmetic and announcing to my parents that if they had saved all the $$$$ they spent on tobacco, they could buy a new Cadillac. They were not amused.)

I do hope that reading all this helps someone.. someday... to find the strength to do what they KNOW they need to.

Subject: RE: BS: Kendall's latest physical
From: catspaw49
Date: 02 Apr 12 - 09:00 PM

.......***sigh***..............could I get a new bulb at least? Last time I was down there I was attacked by some foul smelling creature(s) who repeatedly made disparaging remarks about brats and kraut and how they had ruined his underwear. I later found this was either Gnu or Kendall.........although I think now it was both. Anyway, make it at least a 60 watter.......and I need a ball bat too.


Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Kendall's latest physical
From: gnu
Date: 02 Apr 12 - 09:13 PM

Brats but hold the kraut... especially for you, Spaw. ESPECIALLY FOR YOU.

A bat? Wouldn't you like somethin smaller for your perversions? Don't wanna wear things out, do you

Subject: RE: BS: Kendall's latest physical
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Apr 12 - 11:27 PM

A vampire bat?

Subject: RE: BS: Kendall's latest physical
From: SINSULL
Date: 03 Apr 12 - 08:20 AM

Jacqui's an old bat. Try her.


OOOPS
Now I'm down here too.

Subject: RE: BS: Kendall's latest physical
From: Megan L
Date: 03 Apr 12 - 08:26 AM

Jacqui You are going to have to build an extension :)

Now me ahm just an auld batty

Subject: RE: BS: Kendall's latest physical
From: Bobert
Date: 03 Apr 12 - 08:40 AM

Talk about a Captain taking his boat down - crew, passengers and all - the cellar is lookin' a tad crowded...

Me thinks it's time to tell Jacqui just how pretty she looks today... Oh, what a beautiful dress, too...

B;~)

Subject: RE: BS: Kendall's latest physical
From: Becca72
Date: 03 Apr 12 - 08:41 AM

Watch it, Sins. Wicked step-mummy will send you to the worst part of the cellar.....the CRAWLSPACE!!
That's where the evil clown lives...

Subject: RE: BS: Kendall's latest physical
From: kendall
Date: 03 Apr 12 - 08:41 AM

JEEZ! Talk about thread creep!

Subject: RE: BS: Kendall's latest physical
From: Amos
Date: 03 Apr 12 - 09:53 AM

IF you're gonna get Spaw a bat, make it an aluminum one. His proctologist hates splinters.


A

Subject: RE: BS: Kendall's latest physical
From: Bobert
Date: 03 Apr 12 - 10:01 AM

Nuthin' creepy about this thread, Capt'n... Now the cellar??? Different story entirely...

BTW, looks like yer packin' 'um in like sardines...

Nice up here, tho...

B:~)

Subject: RE: BS: Kendall's latest physical
From: catspaw49
Date: 03 Apr 12 - 10:02 AM

You mention "thread creep" and Amos shows up............

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Kendall's latest physical
From: Bill D
Date: 03 Apr 12 - 11:12 AM

...might as well "talk about thread creep", because after a certain point, the 'witty repartee' overwhelms any attempt to make serious replies anyway.....

Subject: RE: BS: Kendall's latest physical
From: Amos
Date: 03 Apr 12 - 11:50 AM

Just trying to keep track of ya, Pat-me-buck!

Subject: RE: BS: Kendall's latest physical
From: jacqui.c
Date: 03 Apr 12 - 12:10 PM

ROTF........

I do love you lot. If you were all in the cellar I'd be down there too.

Becca - no sending SINSULL to the crawl space - she's noisy enough already and I don't want to be listening to her whinging away. Anyway, she'd scare the bejassus out of the evil clown and I'm keeping him in reserve for bigger and better things.

Subject: RE: BS: Kendall's latest physical
From: Becca72
Date: 03 Apr 12 - 12:29 PM

*note to self - do not piss off wicked step-mummy...

Subject: RE: BS: Kendall's latest physical
From: jacqui.c
Date: 03 Apr 12 - 12:51 PM

Wise girl Becca.

Subject: RE: BS: Kendall's latest physical
From: SINSULL
Date: 03 Apr 12 - 01:54 PM

That clown better not how up on my lawn or there will be retribution.
C'mon down Kat. I saved a space for you next to Spaw.

Where did this thread go wrong??????????????

Subject: RE: BS: Kendall's latest physical
From: catspaw49
Date: 03 Apr 12 - 02:29 PM

Gotta' mirror? (:<))

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Kendall's latest physical
From: Kim C
Date: 03 Apr 12 - 03:16 PM

Still trying to get Mister to quit. He quit once, not long after we were married, and took up the smokes again 3 years ago when his uncle & dad died in the same month.

Subject: RE: BS: Kendall's latest physical
From: SINSULL
Date: 03 Apr 12 - 03:46 PM

Mirror mirror on the wall...

Subject: RE: BS: Kendall's latest physical
From: SINSULL
Date: 03 Apr 12 - 06:33 PM

BTW
Just stopped in Curmudgeon's thread. He has managed to clear out a roommate by opening a window. Private room is nice but I suggested that some of you might have advice for scoring a suite. Kendall of the two hours; Spaw and gnu with some cabbage recipes; Jacqui with a spell or two.
Anyone?

Subject: RE: BS: Kendall's latest physical
From: kendall
Date: 03 Apr 12 - 07:45 PM

To quit smoking you must first admit that you are an addict
Then you must admit that you are not in charge.
Stop telling yourself lies, "I can quit anytime I want to."
Or, "I enjoy smoking"

Forget all those "Aids" they do not work. There is only one way to quit smoking,and that is... Quit smoking!
If losing your voice to cancer, as I did, or you want to die a horrible death is ok, then go ahead and kill yourself.
Never mind your loved ones whom you are hurting.

Subject: RE: BS: Kendall's latest physical
From: gnu
Date: 03 Apr 12 - 08:57 PM

Kendall... wise words.

Subject: RE: BS: Kendall's latest physical
From: framus
Date: 03 Apr 12 - 09:37 PM

And nice grammar too.

Subject: RE: BS: Kendall's latest physical
From: katlaughing
Date: 04 Apr 12 - 12:09 AM

Well, thanks, MariGold, right next to Spaw's fine as long as the corn isn't in season. (I know on Mudcat *corn* is always in season, but at least it's not stinky!) Which reminds me, Spaw, Rog has a new idea he thinks you and Morgan will just love. Remember you read it here, first: Fart Ring Tones for your mobile phone. Morgan's at that age which it seems some of you never outgrew.**Bg**

Sorry, Kendall, more thread drift. What you said is pretty much what my dad said when he quit his pipe. He just put it up on the shelf one day and that was it. (I hope my son and daughter get the message in time.)

Subject: RE: BS: Kendall's latest physical
From: catspaw49
Date: 04 Apr 12 - 12:33 AM

CLICK HERE katmyluv................

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Kendall's latest physical
From: Bat Goddess
Date: 04 Apr 12 - 07:24 AM

Remember the Boston Legal episode where Denny Crane's cell keeps going off in court and the ringtone is loud feminine, uh, lovemaking noises?

I'll definitely be reading this thread to Tom...

Linn

Subject: RE: BS: Kendall's latest physical
From: SINSULL
Date: 04 Apr 12 - 08:18 AM

Those fart ringtones have been around forever, Miss Kitty. Back to the drawing boards.




Sorry for the thread drift Kendall. I watch young people at work going out for cigarettes and then spending hours at the gym (?) followed by tanning sessions and I wonder WTF?????
I asked one if she was not concerned about skin cancer. The answer - I only go for fifteen minutes a week.
I don't understand why anyone would knowingly put themselves in harm's way.
Some chew tobacco - it is a stress reliever. I see blackened teeth and tongue tumors in his future but he can't. As I said I don't get it.
Then again I do little or nothing about my weight though I know it is slowly killing me. Denial is a beautiful river.
SINS

Subject: RE: BS: Kendall's latest physical
From: katlaughing
Date: 04 Apr 12 - 09:47 AM

Darn! I'll have to tell Rog he was scooped!:-)

MariGold, maybe they all need to watch a docu? That's what finally did it for me re' taking care of my body and losing weight. I wrote about the two that changed things for me in THIS THREAD. The first title may be a little off-putting, but it is for anyone interested in healthier, easier nutrition and the second one is mainstream, good science.

Subject: RE: BS: Kendall's latest physical
From: Bobert
Date: 04 Apr 12 - 10:11 AM

BTW, I've been curious... Any plans for a smoke-free cellar in the future, jacqui??? I mean, there are those of us - not me, of course - who would like to occasionally cross over the line but just don't want to be punished by being sent into the smoky cellar... And while we're talkin'... I've been hearing some complaints about that 60s Philco black 'n white TV down there...

B:~)

Subject: RE: BS: Kendall's latest physical
From: SINSULL
Date: 04 Apr 12 - 10:14 AM

The CELLAR! is smoke free. The chains bolted into the wall are for those who try to smoke in Kendall's castle.

Subject: RE: BS: Kendall's latest physical
From: Bobert
Date: 04 Apr 12 - 11:25 AM

Whew, Sins... That's good to hear... Ahhhh, BTW, word on the street is that the chains are for something else??? Hey??? I donno nuthin' about that kind of stuff... Jus' a rumor, I'm sure...

B~

Subject: RE: BS: Kendall's latest physical
From: SINSULL
Date: 04 Apr 12 - 12:12 PM

remember the bull whip at the getaway a few years back??????

Subject: RE: BS: Kendall's latest physical
From: Bobert
Date: 04 Apr 12 - 01:06 PM

Yeah, seems that I do... Hmmmmmm??? You wouldn't have any photographs you'd like to share, do ya' Sins???

B~

Subject: RE: BS: Kendall's latest physical
From: Megan L
Date: 04 Apr 12 - 01:15 PM

Aw drat now yev set Granny Dom of we had to hide her bull whip after the last unfortunate incident (she tries bless her but sometime gets a bit a bit mixed up what the neighbour had actually said was "I want to have a whip round for a new bull" The poor man has never quite recovered. Especially since he was a kirk elder and the minister decided tae visit while Granny wis there, how we kept it ooto the paper i shall not reveal.)

Subject: RE: BS: Kendall's latest physical
From: Amos
Date: 04 Apr 12 - 04:43 PM

Spaw is in classic form, antique farts and all...

Subject: RE: BS: Kendall's latest physical
From: gnu
Date: 04 Apr 12 - 04:56 PM

There's a lot of antique farts around here.

Subject: RE: BS: Kendall's latest physical
From: catspaw49
Date: 04 Apr 12 - 04:57 PM

.....*****sigh*****.........well, for yet another confession, THIS is one of the ringtones I use.....and my favorite.


Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Kendall's latest physical
From: catspaw49
Date: 04 Apr 12 - 05:00 PM

Let's try that again

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Kendall's latest physical
From: GUEST,kendall
Date: 04 Apr 12 - 08:11 PM

I had my annual sonogram today, plaque in the carotid arteries and an aortic abdominal aneurism. Won't know anything until my Doctor send me the results.

I failed the breathing test again, lung capacity, 65%.

Subject: RE: BS: Kendall's latest physical
From: Bobert
Date: 04 Apr 12 - 08:23 PM

Demand a recount, Capt'n...

And...

...100

B~

Subject: RE: BS: Kendall's latest physical
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Apr 12 - 08:27 PM

At least a C-, Kendall -- not an F. About the sonogram: is it a boy or a girl or can you tell yet?