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BS: The Mudcat Tavern
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: Sorcha Date: 14 Mar 00 - 11:23 PM PTL, and pass the eyelashes! What happend to the barmaid anyhow? Barmaid-------barmaid, the eyelashes need another pint or two here, to offset the green jello! |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: rangeroger Date: 14 Mar 00 - 11:24 PM Hi there,this is my first here.I was in the neighborhood and heard the caterwauling and thought I'd drop in.Name' rangeroger and I'll have a pint of that vile black stuff and a double shot of single malt to wash it down with. OOH what is that stuff in that pit? Is that Jello? Do you all mind if I do a belly-flop off that diving board into it. YEEEEEEEHHHHAAAAAA. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: MMario Date: 14 Mar 00 - 11:27 PM Good thing we installed that splashboard at the jello pit, isn't it? But that looked painful. Drip your way over to the bar and put a round or three onto Bert's platinum symolian credit card. (We've been charging on the thing for MONTHS and they haven't canceled it yet....) |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: Sorcha Date: 14 Mar 00 - 11:34 PM But M. Mario, it's GREEN! |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: MMario Date: 14 Mar 00 - 11:37 PM What's green? Bert's card? Bert, you gotta green card? *I'm SO confuzzled* |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: wysiwyg Date: 14 Mar 00 - 11:40 PM A clear sweet voice, only slightly marred by the hysterical soprano laughter she has been emitting, issues forth from the shower... "I once~~~ was lost~~~ but now~~~ am found~~~ wah-uhz BLIND~~~ but now~~~ I seeeeee~~~~~~....." and then, "WHAT can wash A-WAY my SIN? NOTHING but the BLOOD of Jesus.... Oh, precious is the flow~~~ that~~ makes me white as sno~oh..." Mmario tips his head slightly to hear.... "They don't sing that one at any Episcopal Church I ever went to!" Someone whispers softly, "She doesn't have the Electric Autoharp in there does she?" Normally Hardiman would go see (just to keep her safe!), but he has fallen asleep-- couldn't hold his likker apparently... said he had an early Lenten service. in the morning... with the ECW making breakfast....
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: MMario Date: 14 Mar 00 - 11:44 PM Man, if she can sing that way in a cold shower think what she could do in a steam bath.... |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: Sorcha Date: 14 Mar 00 - 11:44 PM And here I thought the ECW only made green pancakes on Shrove Tuesday! MMario--green, as in Nickolodean green slime--you got kids? It's Green Week, Maestro,eh? |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: catspaw49 Date: 14 Mar 00 - 11:48 PM Geeziz this place is a mess!!! Hey somebody check the stockroom and see if that cleanser that Art and I brought in is still there..........Hope so........say what Mario?.....Yeah, that's it .... FUG Soap..GREAT STUFF.......Okay, let's pass out some of this and see if we can't get some of this carnage.........geeziz gawd whaadda MESS........Ok, all those dirty glasses, just FUG 'em........Get Sorch over here and Praise too....Thanks Amos...yeah, take 'em in the shower room and FUG 'em real good............Now that floor around the jello pit, we may never get that clean again...Mario that's your job...just FUG it..........and someone be sure young Meebo gets completely FUGGED, gawd knows he's in need............I dunno, I think the whole place needs a good FUGGIN'.............C'mon group, let's get to it!!! Spaw |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: MMario Date: 14 Mar 00 - 11:52 PM nah - the Men's auxilary makes pancakes on Shrove Tuesday, then the ECW spends all of Lent complaining about how they will never get the kitchen clean again. oops! Did *I* type that? Gotta double check that coffee machine, I think it's putting shots of kahlua into the cappacino. It's green slime week? Again? wasn't it green slime week just last month? |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: Sorcha Date: 14 Mar 00 - 11:55 PM HEY! Sorch the cook doan do no scrubbin'! She calls in the drudges for that! Drudge G, Where are ye when we need ye? Git in here an clean up this mess! Green slime, my pussim! (Trubble cumin now, I cin see it WOW, bad moon risin) Yours, the Feast o Crat that doan do dishes, Mum Sorchawearegoingtogetinbigtrubbleyetforthis |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: MMario Date: 14 Mar 00 - 11:55 PM 'spaw - after we all get FUGged, how about hammering down some dulcimer? BTW - did you know that flamingo droppings will strip the dried jello right off that tile? then the only problem is cleaning up the droppings. But I figure we can let it dry and then just sweep it out back... |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: catspaw49 Date: 14 Mar 00 - 11:58 PM Aw just FUG it Mario........ Spaw |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: Amos Date: 14 Mar 00 - 11:58 PM While we're at it 'Spaw, yer lookin' a little gray behind the ears -- Sorcha, jus' take this spnge here an' FUG him, okay? I have a spare protonic matrix cerebrum here he could use, too -- an' one for Meeebo, too. WHat? They already have one? That's last year's model, just replace it with one of these. No, you don't cut them off -- just screw their brains out and then drop these in their place, see? Get Wyo to help you there if it's a little too much, I understand... |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: wysiwyg Date: 14 Mar 00 - 11:58 PM Mrs. Clumberbutt. Ok, you prefer to be called Sorcha. I'm sorry to hear about your Trubble cumin now but until you give up this pose you will never know true peace. WOBFugged???? ~~ p r a y s |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: Mbo Date: 15 Mar 00 - 12:10 AM Don't worry, momSorcha, I get it! Just watch out for that green river of Jello and all will me fine! But I'm really good at cleaning kitchens...I'll be your drudge if you want! Argg...back to the song! FOR THOUGH SKIES SHOULD SEND THE DELUGE OR THE SNOWY NORTH ITS FLAAAAAKES WE TWO COULD LIVE AS PLEASANT AS THE SWANS UPON THE LAAAAKE!!! --Mbo |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: Sorcha Date: 15 Mar 00 - 12:12 AM Spungin' spungin, spungin, til thet pussims's clean, Spungin,spungin,spungin ain't my rector mean? got them spungin blues,Lawd, til that pussims ass be clean........... will that do? And I promise not to take the linens to the commercial cleaners! I WILL do them at home with club soda! |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: rangeroger Date: 15 Mar 00 - 12:12 AM Sorry I made such a mess of the place, I guess I,d better get FUGGED. Caitrin could I have another pint of that vile black stuff and another double...no make that a double double of single malt. What is that funny contraption on the wall? Is that a guitar? Do you mind if I play it? I'll sing you my version of "Urge For Going". |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: wysiwyg Date: 15 Mar 00 - 12:14 AM Aw, too bad, Looks like the ECW already got out dear Sorcha. Club soda. Oh dear. we have to get her back outta their clutches,,,, when this headache wears off... She's just about set to take over the HAG society with the club soda... |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: Mbo Date: 15 Mar 00 - 12:19 AM ECW....East Carolina Wrestling? I know a certain someone who might enjoy that! And Praise, HAG better not mean what I THINK it means! As for me, LID and LON gots me! La la la! --Mbo |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: Sorcha Date: 15 Mar 00 - 12:21 AM OH, no I ain't gonna go to to them Club Soda Blues, not tonite! (Missed that one,P--is that HAGannah,HAGiss Society, wot?) Got enough going with the Jello Pit Blues.......gimme lime,gimme cherry, gimme just some fruit an berries........ah, time to give it up. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: wysiwyg Date: 15 Mar 00 - 12:26 AM Be thou ignorant of the HAG Sopciety??? No one here knows the HAGS???? Must I teach you all of the basics of sound churchmanship and churchwoman goodnitude?
Holy... Altar... Guild.... Society Well, it is a technical term, I'm sorry. Mbo, ECW, see mmario's post above-- read, man! |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: Amos Date: 15 Mar 00 - 12:29 AM The dark stranger steps up to the half-step stage with an unslung Martin Dreadnoughti n his hand, a lipstick tube on one finger, and sets up on a stool and starts the steel strings whining like sunlight on black water....
Trouble, trouble in mind
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: Seamus Kennedy Date: 15 Mar 00 - 12:30 AM I think I'll just stick my head in through the swinging doors and see what's going on in this place...Whoops! Wrong joint for me..I better go next door... |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: Mbo Date: 15 Mar 00 - 12:32 AM Read? Why? Makin' up stuff is MORE fun! AND I SPOKE TRIPPING GAELIC AND MERRY SONGS I'VE SUUUUNG AND NOW MY WITS ARE CRAZY AND LEADEN IS MY TOOOOONGUE!! --Mbo |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: Sorcha Date: 15 Mar 00 - 12:45 AM Ah, Praise, dear, I'm so sorry, I learned it as AWG, Altar Women's Guild.........I guess here in the Hinterlands we forget about the Holy part........ Amos, is the jello pit Blu Raspberry now? Praise, according to my clock it is now after midnite at your house........are you really Night Owl? (giggle) |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: GUEST,Dave (the ancient mariner) Date: 15 Mar 00 - 12:48 AM Spaw pass me that jello shovel mate. Gawd what a mess, I wish you would drink the boose and not throw it at one another...Guiness and Jello do not mix...but boy do they smell bad on the floor, phew! Aye. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: Mbo Date: 15 Mar 00 - 12:49 AM GOOD BYE BLACKBERRY...um...jello? --Mbo |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: wysiwyg Date: 15 Mar 00 - 12:53 AM HAWG? I'm gonna tell, I'm gonna tell, I'm gonna holler an' I'm gonna yell! I'll getchoo in trubble, fer EVERYTHING ya do... an' I'm gonna tell, on you! |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: wysiwyg Date: 15 Mar 00 - 12:58 AM PAUSE PAUSE PAUSE PAUSE PAUSE PAUSE Please all join me in a moment of loving Mudcat silence.... silence.... Our dear new friend Troll has been away from us and is not feeling too perky. Let's raise a glass to that Chordwaster and good, good friend, Troll! And as we celebrate the safe return of the Big Mick, another toast: to all dear ones still absent... |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: Mbo Date: 15 Mar 00 - 01:03 AM AWRIGHT! RAISE A GLASS FOR TROLL!!! OK, now the Troll Song in his honor! Everybody: TROLL SAT ALONE ON A SEAT OF STONE.... --Mbo |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: Sorcha Date: 15 Mar 00 - 01:09 AM Ah me, I am laughing so hard I can't type! Will any of us ever sort this out? Even for Aine? I guess it's one of those You Had To Be There type things.....how many threads is it actually in , now? I will try to sort out the Jello Pit Blues/Episcopal Christian Women tomorrow, but I don't make ANY promises! Oh dear God, ROOFLMAO! We are gonna get in sooooo much trubble from the True Conscience of Muudccat! Wayyy to much silliness in one night! It's Big Mick's fault! |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: wysiwyg Date: 15 Mar 00 - 01:18 AM I'll take the nails this time, Sorcha, it's OK. It had to happen. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: Mbo Date: 15 Mar 00 - 01:19 AM Hey, they might be able to get us in the regular threads, but the Mudcat Tavern is ours ever more to be silly in! Thanks for starting it up for us, Caitrin. **EWWWWW** someone got jello on my guitar sling, the one I bought in Japan... --Mbo |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: Sorcha Date: 15 Mar 00 - 01:24 AM Praise: 1:18 AM in PA??????? s'Ok, thanks to daughter Kate I'm sorta into 9 Inch Nails too,but yes, it is about time! (But we'll get in so much trouble!) |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: wysiwyg Date: 15 Mar 00 - 01:30 AM Sorcha, trade those in for 9-inch heels and be your own real self! Yes, 1:18, still early. I have been on such a crazy schedule, last night was the first since I joined here that I didn't have huge work projects looming over me that for various reasons HAD to be done and COULDN'T be done. Now they are done and about done, one's only a mailbox away. And I've never had a place big enought to play in before, with people who could play like I guess I like to play. I think I'll probably get cut a big length of Big Guy slack on this one. Had to happen-- too many people telling me how saintly I am here-- I am really just another wacky catter, even tho' a dangerously Christian one. Now chill!! And ya know what? Trubble? Hah! WOULD NOT TRADE TONIGHT FOR ANYTHING. So glad you were in on it! this is |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: GUEST,Roger the skiffler Date: 15 Mar 00 - 04:15 AM Praise be (sorry for pun -no you're not- oh well...)the ole Tavern is back. Enter dishevelled old fart, still shrugging off straitjacket labelled "If found please return to Brian Wilson Ward NYCFTTS". Produces Chinese-made all-plastic permanently off-key kazoo and tries chorus of Dudley Canal Tunnel Song. Starts singing "Push, boys, push". Invitation too much for music-loving clientele who oblige. Climbs out of jello pit, shakes jello out of kazoo, slumps on stool with a large Metaxas and starts telling Aynuck and Ayli stories to the stuffed parrot. Parrot falls off perch. Someone has phoned Center, men in white coats come and remove him to the strains of "They're coming to take me away, aha". [senior staff all away at Conference, we're all a little light headed here!] RtS |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: MMario Date: 15 Mar 00 - 03:44 PM *polishing the bar with a clean dry cloth* okay - everything's cleaned up from last night, what a way to welcome Mick back...say, did anyone mention it to Koko? I can't stay this evening, am on animal duty and have a kitchen to clean, (more cleaning, yeuch! FUGit!) But hope y'all have fun in here. Will have the radio on, I hope, but probably only towards the end.... |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: wysiwyg Date: 15 Mar 00 - 04:41 PM I just stopped in to pick up the undies I thought I left in the jello pit, but now I'm off to a Lenten event where all the ECW's of the convocation will be clustered at one giant parish supper and worship service!!! Yikes!!! A convocation is a group of churches in a geographic cluster. Hardiman is the convenor (like the dean) of ours. I am Mrs. Convenor (woh, heavy, dude). And I go forth into this with my throat sprained from letting laughs out that were too big for the opening, and thus will be unable to laugh while there. I dare not return to the Tavern till the sprain is healed!!! But do carry on! Perhaps another Newbie will lose her underwear this evening! And I never found mine, so-- keep an eye out fer 'em and fly 'em proud! |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: Bradypus Date: 15 Mar 00 - 06:27 PM Madam Convenor Your underwear's cleaner It's Jelloed and washed in the gin If that convocation Should loose its location Come back here and give us a grin You suffer from throat strain It really is quite plain The shower you shouldn't sing in Your deadlines are dead now So come, loose your head now The party just waits to begin Is that a bottle of Talisker back there? Yes, just as she comes. I'll take it and nurse it over there. It's not for the taste, you understand - it's for the fine ideas it puts in my head |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: Amos Date: 15 Mar 00 - 07:08 PM
Crosses room pushing a very large pushbroom across the floor, into the corners, which brings out a brightly colored set of lacy unspeakables. Lifts them on the business end of the broom and recites: |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: Mbo Date: 15 Mar 00 - 07:33 PM Well, I finish my song! What should I sing NOW? --Mbo |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: Amos Date: 15 Mar 00 - 08:11 PM How about "Red River Valee", sir Bo? Such a pretty tune...gulp....jes' a sec ...I'll get a stiff drink. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: Mbo Date: 15 Mar 00 - 08:23 PM Ok, I know that one Amos! I'll follow it up by singing "Desperados Waiting For A Train." Deal? --Mbo |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: wysiwyg Date: 15 Mar 00 - 08:55 PM The phone rings. It's Praise, who is calling to confirm the rumor circulating through the Northern Tier convocation that her undies, whihc once were lost, now are found, were sopiled, but now redeemed. "Ah, that's good," she croaks weakly, "I knew I could leave 'em to you friends. Perhaps if ye'll just send the lad over with a bottle, I'll stay in tonight... oh, I don't care, the Glenfyddich or the Jameson, it's all the same to me... make it the Glenfyddich then, and be a good soul and throw in the half-empty Drambuie wasting away on the shelf-- it's Rusty Nails for Lent." A delegation is selected to convoy the goods, but Biskit breezes in and lifts the brown bag neatly as he exits the men's room. "I'm headed that way anyhow and I heard she doesn't really want company so I'll drop it off. Was there a translation from the Latin to inscribe on the bag though?" |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: Mbo Date: 15 Mar 00 - 10:04 PM Hey, I was just singing, and I turn my back for ONE minute, and everyone disappears! --Mbo |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: Lonesome EJ Date: 15 Mar 00 - 11:38 PM What ho, Lords and Ladies? Pray tap yon publican on the shoulder of his tattered shirtsleeve and by so doing draw his gaze from the teasing red-lipped vixen Who through display of various savory wares hath mislead him from the valiant weilding Of th' various pumps and handles that doth compose the hardware of his employment! And now, having at last gained his all-wandering eye, I must call Hither, good fellow! Some of the nectar of the gods is my aim! Draw for me a brimming cup that I might quaff deeply! Oh, and if you've got change for a fiver I'll get some tunes going on the jukebox... Leige |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: Sorcha Date: 15 Mar 00 - 11:41 PM THAT WOMAN is over at Jon's place downloading something called Feelme and she refuses to come redeem her knickers! |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: Mbo Date: 15 Mar 00 - 11:49 PM TouchMe HearMe FeelMe SeeMe...ooooh..where can I download THAT? --Mbo |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: Amos Date: 16 Mar 00 - 12:09 AM In hoc signo NON victo Sed sum multo derelicto! Vale, scantii pantum sanctum Showered when I shoulda spanked-um." In this sign I did not conquer But did much neglect my honor! Greetings, scanty sacred panties Shoulda spanked 'em instead of showering 'em.... |