LilyFestre-Mommy+Daddy+Baby...now on to Life!

Subject: RE: LilyFestre-Mommy+Daddy+Baby...now on to Life!
From: Severn
Date: 24 Jul 10 - 11:35 PM

Best of thoughts, Chemo Sabe, from a fellow survivor. You've inspired us all!

I never had to deal with a port, so good luck with that. And the experience of getting to know your body again and coming to terms with it (as opposed to resigning yourself to it). Keep doing things and finding ways of pleasantly surprising yourself on your path forward.

You seem to have wonderful in-home support. I had Mudcat support helping me get through a few crises, and I'm pleased and proud to be giving some back.

Take care.

Subject: RE: LilyFestre-Mommy+Daddy+Baby...now on to Life!
From: Ebbie
Date: 25 Jul 10 - 07:45 PM

Oh- Michelle, how is your hair growth coming along? Time for a trim? Don't forget to post pictures.

Subject: RE: LilyFestre-Mommy+Daddy+Baby...now on to Life!
From: Bobert
Date: 26 Jul 10 - 10:05 AM

Yeah, I'm all fir "a trim"... Think razor here... Eeeeowwwww.... Bald womenz is sexy...

Ya'll want yard sales??? Well, there one weekend every year where the entire Route 11 corridor which runs thru the Shenandoah Valley is yard sale weekend so ya end up with a hundred miles of 'um... I mean, thousands and thousands of up up and down the highway... Somethin' to behold... Bring money... Small bills... Bring yer station wagon, too...

B~

Subject: RE: LilyFestre-Mommy+Daddy+Baby...now on to Life!
From: GUEST,USPS postal pixie
Date: 26 Jul 10 - 11:27 AM

Check your mail today!

Subject: RE: LilyFestre-Mommy+Daddy+Baby...now on to Life!
From: LilyFestre
Date: 26 Jul 10 - 11:34 AM

My package arrived today.

Breakfast was cooking....english muffins in the toaster, eggs on the stove and me ignoring it all to open my package.

I carefully cut through the tape and couldn't believe what I found.....this ENTIRE thread printed out and spiral bound!!! Knowing me like you do, I'm sure it comes as no surprise that I stood and cried. I am overwhelmed with your kindness and seeing the entire story there in front of me....I can't believe it. There's so much there...so many tears went into so many of those posts and so much love.....this is a gift that I will treasure forever and ever. I randomly opened the book to different pages and read....there are things that I remember clearly and other details that I had forgotten already.
    Thank you. Thank you. THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Somehow words don't seem adequate but know that I absolutley love that everything was printed out and bound.....something that contains a good deal of my heart and soul as well as all of you....I sometimes wonder if you know just how much you all have helped me through the last 7 months?
    At the Relay for Life, my friend Tracy made 2 signs...one for her and one for me. She had told me she was going to do it, asking me for my favorite colors and then for the names of the people who I couldn't have done without. So..there's my name: Michelle Lawrence, SURVIVOR along with Pete, Mom, Linda, Laurie AND MUDCAT!!!! I will post a photo of it soon.....I hope the message I'm trying to convey is coming across as thank you with all my heart. And I love you. XOXOXOXOOXOX

Michelle

Subject: RE: LilyFestre-Mommy+Daddy+Baby...now on to Life!
From: LilyFestre
Date: 26 Jul 10 - 12:42 PM

Ok...this album is JUST the start so there isn't much here, but I wanted you to be able to see the sign....

My Survivor Sign Made By Tracy

XOXOXOXO

Michelle

Subject: RE: LilyFestre-Mommy+Daddy+Baby...now on to Life!
From: LilyFestre
Date: 26 Jul 10 - 12:44 PM

Well, that link isn't working for some reason but you can see the photo at:

www.watchmyhairgrow.shutterfly.com

Subject: RE: LilyFestre-Mommy+Daddy+Baby...now on to Life!
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 26 Jul 10 - 12:45 PM

A Mudelf will be able to fix that: http://watchmyhairgrow.shutterfly.com/

Been out washing dawgs. They each have a new collar (no skunk smell embedded!) and I'll be fixing their Invisible Fence collars later today. I have to drill those and put the receivers on.

SRS

Subject: RE: LilyFestre-Mommy+Daddy+Baby...now on to Life!
From: katlaughing
Date: 09 Aug 10 - 11:09 PM

Hey, Michelle, how's that head of hair coming? And, that gorgeous little boy...still outgrowing his clothes, I'll bet. It doesn't doesn't stop, btw. I just measured Morgan-the Grandson and he's grown another 1.5 inches since March. He'll be 7 in November!

Hope all is well.

luvyakat

Subject: RE: LilyFestre-Mommy+Daddy+Baby...now on to Life!
From: LilyFestre
Date: 11 Aug 10 - 01:52 PM

Jeremiah turned 5 months old yesterday and he is now a well integrated part of our life! His court date is coming up soon and we'll all breathe a big sigh of relief when everything is final.

In other news, tomorrow I go for my first post-chemo checkup where they will take blood from my port and check the CA-125 levels. I am hoping the numbers have stayed nice and low....any significant rise indicates tumor activity. Any good thoughts and prayers would be more than appreciated! To be honest, it scares the hell out of me.

I've been feeling pretty darn good....still pretty tired but I just found out today (at a local doctor appointment) that my thyroid medication needs to be raised and I need prescription levels of vitamin D...both of which should help my energy levels! YAY! My hair is growing (sorry Bobert) and I have eyebrows and (small) eyelashes again!!! HOORAY! My hair had been coming in almost white and now it's fairly dark and so SOOOOO soft!!! One of my friends says it's like "baby bird fur." :)

The book that was made from this thread sits on my piano and I thumb through it almost daily, opening it to random spots taking in all of your love and support. :)

Michelle

Subject: RE: LilyFestre-Mommy+Daddy+Baby...now on to Life!
From: katlaughing
Date: 11 Aug 10 - 04:14 PM

Thanks for the updates, Michelle. Keep those fears at bay with the knowledge that prayers, thanks-givings, etc. are still here for you and your family. One step at a time, you have done it and ARE doing it, very well.

kat

Subject: RE: LilyFestre-Mommy+Daddy+Baby...now on to Life!
From: gnu
Date: 11 Aug 10 - 04:24 PM

Hair hair!

Subject: RE: LilyFestre-Mommy+Daddy+Baby...now on to Life!
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 11 Aug 10 - 05:45 PM

yes thanks for keeping us informed... more good nergy headed your way.

Subject: RE: LilyFestre-Mommy+Daddy+Baby...now on to Life!
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 11 Aug 10 - 08:55 PM

I'll second all that

sandra

Subject: RE: LilyFestre-Mommy+Daddy+Baby...now on to Life!
From: AllisonA(Animaterra)
Date: 12 Aug 10 - 09:38 AM

Yay for hair, and lots of loving thoughts for your appointment today. When is Jeremiah's court date?

Subject: RE: LilyFestre-Mommy+Daddy+Baby...now on to Life!
From: Bobert
Date: 12 Aug 10 - 10:56 AM

Fingers crossed on those numbers...

Forget the hair... It's just friggin' hair... Get a BIC razor and let yer freek flag fly!!!

B~

Subject: RE: LilyFestre-Mommy+Daddy+Baby...now on to Life!
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 12 Aug 10 - 12:12 PM

You'll be able to keep up with the book by selecting more recent posts and dropping them into a word processor. It's difficult to get just a few late pages to print if you've selected print view, but I suspect if you set up print view and then copy and paste you can capture them.

I'm glad to hear the thyroid readings have indicated adjustment - in the sense that once that is at the correct level the rest of this will be more comfortable to anticipate.

SRS

Subject: RE: LilyFestre-Mommy+Daddy+Baby...now on to Life!
From: LilyFestre
Date: 12 Aug 10 - 08:28 PM

Visit with oncologist went well, he said he THINKS everything is good HOWEVER the blood test that gives the absolute answer was not ready to be read when I left. He said he would call me today and leave a message with the results. He did not do that. I am about out of my mind with worry. :(

Subject: RE: LilyFestre-Mommy+Daddy+Baby...now on to Life!
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 12 Aug 10 - 08:46 PM

You know that worry doesn't help anything, so try to relax. Have you been to your yoga class for a while? What exercises or breathing techniques will help you through this? Chin up, kiddo! You're doing fine!

SRS

Subject: RE: LilyFestre-Mommy+Daddy+Baby...now on to Life!
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 13 Aug 10 - 02:15 AM

I'll second all that, too

sandra (sending more hugs)

Subject: RE: LilyFestre-Mommy+Daddy+Baby...now on to Life!
From: LilyFestre
Date: 13 Aug 10 - 10:04 PM

GREAT NEWS!!! My CA-125 test (tumor marker) came back with the lowest numbers yet which is the best possible scenario!!!!!!!!!!!

YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I cried for 20 minutes after I got the news....relief, letting go of all the fear.....I am SO THANKFUL!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Love, love and Love to every single one of you!

Michelle

Subject: RE: LilyFestre-Mommy+Daddy+Baby...now on to Life!
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 13 Aug 10 - 10:14 PM

YAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

how's baby?

Subject: RE: LilyFestre-Mommy+Daddy+Baby...now on to Life!
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 14 Aug 10 - 01:42 PM

deep exhale..... very good news to hear.

Subject: RE: LilyFestre-Mommy+Daddy+Baby...now on to Life!
From: LilyFestre
Date: 14 Aug 10 - 07:49 PM

I'm posting a link to a video that strikes something deep down in me. The father in this video is to his son what my mom has been to me during my cancer diagnosis and ongoing treatment. I LOVE YOU MOM!!!!

Never Ever Give Up

Michelle

Subject: RE: LilyFestre-Mommy+Daddy+Baby...now on to Life!
From: wysiwyg
Date: 08 Sep 10 - 10:29 AM

Sad news today about Rowan, who was so helpful in LF's journey: http://mudcat.org/thread.cfm?threadid=132000

~Susan

Subject: RE: LilyFestre-Mommy+Daddy+Baby...now on to Life!
From: LilyFestre
Date: 20 Sep 10 - 09:55 PM

Just an update:

Tomorrow I will have my port accessed. It's a short procedure and thankfully they gave me some Lidacaine cream ahead of time so I can numb the spot to make it less painful. On the way home, I'll be stopping at the American Cancer Society to pick up a few new hats. My hair is growing faster than I thought it would but I imagine it will still be plenty short when the colder weather sets in...hence the hats (although I have a pretty nice collection thanks to my friends here at Mudcat!).

No testing tomorrow or anything like that....just a fast needle into my chest....then they suck some blood into the tubing and put it back to make sure all channels of the port are open and working as they should.

Michelle

Subject: RE: LilyFestre-Mommy+Daddy+Baby...now on to Life!
From: Bobert
Date: 20 Sep 10 - 10:05 PM

Still here and still with ya', Michelle... Kinda like relivin' a victory lap... 2nd lap ***ever*** as good as the first one... Keep on truckin'...an' truckin'...an'..........

B~

Subject: RE: LilyFestre-Mommy+Daddy+Baby...now on to Life!
From: LilyFestre
Date: 20 Sep 10 - 11:41 PM

Thanks Bobert!!

About a month ago I was in Ithaca, NY and I was parking my car when I noticed that the car next to me had a teal ovarian cancer ribbon magnet on the back of it. I wrote a note explaining that I had ovarian cancer too and wished her well, leaving my email address. Tonight she contacted me. The owner of the car does not have ovarian cancer but her grandmother does. She was looking for information, practical day to day, how to get through, what to expect, etc. kind of information. I think I spent over an hour writing back. I also shared my phone number and told her that she or her grandmother were welcome to call anytime.

It feels really, REALLY good to be able to share something that might be helpful to someone else....of course you all know that already....but still....my heart feels really good. :)

Sweet dreams my friends,

Michelle

Subject: RE: LilyFestre-Mommy+Daddy+Baby...now on to Life!
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 21 Sep 10 - 05:09 AM

you have a lot of wisdom to share, Michelle

sandra

Subject: RE: LilyFestre-Mommy+Daddy+Baby...now on to Life!
From: SINSULL
Date: 21 Sep 10 - 08:57 AM

How lucky Jeremiah is to have a Mom so wise that she knows exactly what is important. I am not here often but I am with you in spirit.
Hugs, little one.
Auntie SINS

Subject: RE: LilyFestre-Mommy+Daddy+Baby...now on to Life!
From: wysiwyg
Date: 21 Sep 10 - 12:56 PM

Noting our parish prayer list, Michelle, please know that from time to time, others there have also worked to overcome ovarian cancer, who want only prayer and privacy.

~Susan

Subject: RE: LilyFestre-Mommy+Daddy+Baby...now on to Life!
From: LilyFestre
Date: 21 Sep 10 - 05:55 PM

Thanks Sins and Sandra!!! The port accessing went well and it was nice to see some familiar faces at the clinic!! :)

And Susan, I have no idea what you are talking about but clearly everyone handles having cancer differently. I choose to share a good deal of it, if others aren't comfortable doing that, that's fine too.

It's been a good day. :)

Michelle

Subject: RE: LilyFestre-Mommy+Daddy+Baby...now on to Life!
From: wysiwyg
Date: 21 Sep 10 - 06:13 PM

I'm just letting you know that there are folks around the parish to pray for, around now, that you would not know about because the name is mixed into the list without any details, that's all.

~Susan

Subject: RE: LilyFestre-Mommy+Daddy+Baby...now on to Life!
From: LilyFestre
Date: 21 Sep 10 - 06:41 PM

I don't ask people why they are on the prayer list.

There are loads of people with cancer who don't want to talk about it with anyone or other health issues for that matter. It's a personal decision for each person.

People know I have gone through chemo (some know what kind of cancer and others do not but only because they didn't ask) which was obvious from my oh so beautiful snow white bald head, lack of eyebrows, eyelashes etc...it was a visual thing. Otherwise, would they have none? Not unless they were family friends. I didn't make a point of going around in church announcing what my problem was. I did answer when asked though.

Anyway, I totally respect the privacy of anyone of the prayer list. If there is someone there with ovarian cancer and she wants to live quietly with it, that's her choice. I would have LOVED to talk to more women with ovarian cancer when I received my diagnosis but there is a certain hush-hush about gyn. cancers.....and there is a HUGE movement to remove the stigma and silence around it. In any case, it feels really good to know that there was a woman who wanted to talk about it, about what can help with the day to day survival of the ovarian chemo cocktail and that I was able to give her as much information as I could so that she might be able to have even the smallest bit of comfort where she didn't before. I would talk to anyone about it if they were searching for a soul who's been on the path and has a deep understanding of what it really means....if I was asked to.

I'm not sure what I'm saying is coming across clearly but it's the best I can do at the moment.

Michelle

Subject: RE: LilyFestre-Mommy+Daddy+Baby...now on to Life!
From: katlaughing
Date: 21 Sep 10 - 06:48 PM

Very well put, Michelle, and you are to be admired for being so willing to share what you have been through in an effort to ease someone else's path through similar circumstances.

I have often thought of writing a small pamphlet for surgeons/docs to pass out to women facing open heart surgery, things they don't think to tell the patient because women are in the minority when it comes to that kind of surgery. The psychologist and a couple of other docs have told me they think it would be a great help. With your example, I may be ready to do just that.

Proud to *know* you and glad today went well,

kat

Subject: RE: LilyFestre-Mommy+Daddy+Baby...now on to Life!
From: SINSULL
Date: 21 Sep 10 - 07:05 PM

Lily, as one still in possession of her ovaries, I view you are both a hero and a wealth of information. I sincerely hope I never have to ask for your help. I also hope that if someone could use that help, embarrassment is the last reason for not coming to you. I appreciate privacy. When things are at their worst I rarely share. Just crawl into a shell and stick it out. Each of us deals with our troubles differently.Your ability to be so open with every aspect of your illness has been a gift to the rest of us.Your ability to get on with your life with a husband and new baby is astonishing.
Write that book. I suspect that more than one woman will be grateful for it.
SINS

Subject: RE: LilyFestre-Mommy+Daddy+Baby...now on to Life!
From: jacqui.c
Date: 21 Sep 10 - 07:59 PM

What SINSULL said.

Michelle - as always, I take my hat off to you. You are amazing.

Subject: RE: LilyFestre-Mommy+Daddy+Baby...now on to Life!
From: wysiwyg
Date: 21 Sep 10 - 08:17 PM

Michelle, it was just a prayer request, with a heads-up that others in the parish have been and/or are dealing with the same thing as you.

My last word on this,

~Susan

Subject: RE: LilyFestre-Mommy+Daddy+Baby...now on to Life!
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 21 Sep 10 - 08:35 PM

Good! Bout time.

If any of you is interested in the pink book (wish I'd known about teal when I bound it) that Michelle has, if you set this thread to open completely and then toggle "printer friendly," you'll see that it is immense. That's what I printed out. I did and at the time it was about 225 sheets printed double-sided. This is a huge resource if someone outside of Mudcat decides they need to know how the process worked for at least one person.

Turns out there is a family history of ovarian cancer, my mother's sister developed it in old age. She died of emphysema, and was so ill when it was discovered that they didn't treat it. So having the ovaries removed with the other form of cancer may have been a blessing in disguise.

I almost posted earlier, but hesitated to get mushy. I'll just point out now that this family is going to have one heck of a holiday season, when they start looking at all of the things they have to be thankful for. ;-D

SRS

Subject: RE: LilyFestre-Mommy+Daddy+Baby...now on to Life!
From: SINSULL
Date: 22 Sep 10 - 08:31 AM

It is amazing to think where we all were a year ago.

Today I received a "Best Scary Face" picture from a Catter whose grandson knew that I wasn't feeling my best. I printed it and hung it on my cubicle to the amusement of all. Kind of Bela Lugosi does Children of the Damned.

Can't wait until Jeremiah is offering his image for the mix. This one will be added to the fridge.

Subject: RE: LilyFestre-Mommy+Daddy+Baby...now on to Life!
From: SINSULL
Date: 22 Sep 10 - 06:17 PM

Village of the Damned - sorry.
I think we should start a contest to give Jeremiah a Mudcat name. He can change it if he doesn't like it. Everyone else does.
So, how about J-Boy? LOL
Auntie SINS

Subject: RE: LilyFestre-Mommy+Daddy+Baby...now on to Life!
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 22 Sep 10 - 07:26 PM

How about something unique and subtle, like Lagniappe. It's a small gift (often from a merchant to a customer, but it can also simply mean an unexpected gift.)

Pronounced Lan-Yap. It's French. We'd all have to remember how to spell it, though. :)

SRS

Subject: RE: LilyFestre-Mommy+Daddy+Baby...now on to Life!
From: LilyFestre
Date: 23 Sep 10 - 04:09 PM

I'm partial to JT WiggleWorm. :)

Michelle

Subject: RE: LilyFestre-Mommy+Daddy+Baby...now on to Life!
From: SINSULL
Date: 23 Sep 10 - 06:51 PM

LOL Lily - he will outgrow that one too fast. When do we get to hear what LilyFestre means? Maybe we can work from there.

Subject: RE: LilyFestre-Mommy+Daddy+Baby...now on to Life!
From: katlaughing
Date: 23 Sep 10 - 08:29 PM

Morgan has been "Bubby" some of the time, since he was born.:-) Don't know why or which of us even started it, but so far he doesn't seem to mind.

Subject: RE: LilyFestre-Mommy+Daddy+Baby...now on to Life!
From: SINSULL
Date: 23 Sep 10 - 08:56 PM

Just so long as it doesn't deteriorate into Bubba.

Subject: RE: LilyFestre-Mommy+Daddy+Baby...now on to Life!
From: katlaughing
Date: 23 Sep 10 - 11:44 PM

NO! NEVER! LOL!

Sorry, Michelle, back to Wiggle Worm...or could it be Wiggles? Or, how about "Wiggly" in honour of Uncle Wiggly?. I have several of those books and loved them so much when I was a kid!

Subject: RE: LilyFestre-MomOmy+Daddy+Baby...now on to Life!
From: LilyFestre
Date: 30 Sep 10 - 10:45 PM

Ok. Reality. I have something feeling off in my stomach...kinda feels like a ping pong ball in their. I can't physically feel it with my hands when I press down on my abdomen but I feel it in there. It's been there for maybe 2 weeks. It doesn't usually hurt. If it's still there on Monday, I'm calling the oncologist to see about having a scan done. Of course my absolute worst fear is that the cancer has spread. In my head I hear the numbers of my last test...they were GREAT. The doctors told me everything was fine. I've looked up the symptoms of pancreatic cancer and they don't match up with what I'm feeling. Good. Very good. I'm still waking up in the morning feeling like something bad is pulsating through my veins...it's an acutal physical feeling that I have to talk myself down from or out of every morning. I'm ok. My numbers are ok. Both oncologists wrote letters for me stating no evidence of disease (NED).
       Soooooooo...late at night when my brain has carried this line of thought too far, I freak out. I decided that if the worse case scenario would be to happen, I'd want my family to have things that I made for them out of love. Not stuff I bought but stuff I've made. So...during the last few sleepless nights I've been working on a scarf for my husband. He's been asking me for one since I learned to knit (maybe 2 years ago) and this year, he's going to have his scarf. I wish I knew how to knit more than a scarf but I don't so that is what he will get. I've been working on montages and photo albums as well. I plan to have everything put on DVD and also on flash drives that will be stored in my safety deposit box so my family will always have it. I know it's morbid but I can't help it. I don't think the cancer has spread (although I do worry about it) but on the same hand, if it has, I want something for my husband, child, mother and friend that they can hold close and remember me.
    I think about who might have to clean out my nightstand or go through the stuff on my side of the bed and have been keeping it cleaned up. Silly? Maybe. I hope so. I hope it is a totally useless exercise in keeping things neat and orderly.
    I suppose this is on my mind because it seems that when random people find out I have ovarian cancer they go on to tell me that they know someone with ovarian cancer and how it has spread to their pancreas, stomach, lungs, brain....you get the idea.   I wish they wouldn't share that kind of thing because it scares the snot out of me and fires up my imagination while my logical brain SCREAMS, THAT'S NOT YOU!! CANCER IS SO INDIVIDUAL. THAT SCENARIO IS NOT YOU. BREATHE. BREATHE. BREATHE.
    Today I found a very talented artist and have commissioned a family portrait painting. I want reminders here of the life we live together and the happiness that lives here in this house.
    No wonder I can't sleep at night on my own. My brain is like a runaway train with this.
    *Deep Breath*   I hear Bobert in the distance telling me I am going to be Queen of the 10,000 survivors.....I have every intention of proving him right.

XOXOXOXO

Michelle

Subject: RE: LilyFestre-Mommy+Daddy+Baby...now on to Life!
From: maeve
Date: 01 Oct 10 - 12:28 AM

You're not the only one with the late night fears, I assure you.

You are a survivor taking healthy action on behalf of your family. As long as you can also focus on this moment, this precious hour with husband, son, family and friends you will create workable balance. Blessings to you, Michelle.

Subject: RE: LilyFestre-Mommy+Daddy+Baby...now on to Life!
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 01 Oct 10 - 12:44 AM

Michelle, as a survivor of uterine cancer, I can tell you that you're not alone, and that as panicked as you might feel right now, your fears are probably unfounded. I'm also missing all of those parts, cervix, uterus, ovaries, fallopian tubes, and a few lymph nodes. I also have occasional aches or twinges, and wonder if maybe something has developed. So far, nothing.

Human bodies are remarkable things, but they have so many moving parts that you have to take a lot into account. I won't get indelicate here, but I will mention that if you were to run over to Sam's Club and pick up a $10 bottle of their Member's Mark Fiber Capsules and take 5 a day every day, that you might find some of these twinges you're worrying about go away. No matter how many veggies you eat, I think you'll find that as a supplement this makes a difference. It is harmless, it is good for you, and is pro-active. You can ask me how I know this. . . :)

Relax. Don't beat yourself up. Get enough exercise (accountability!) every day, and take some fiber to supplement your diet. See if that doesn't help some of what is bothering you.

SRS