BS: Making a heart breaking decision

Subject: BS: Making a heart breaking decision
From: Amergin
Date: 23 Jun 08 - 06:26 PM

Not a very good day...Daphne was part of my life for almost 15 years...watched her grow from a puppy...to an ornery dog...she was always very happy to see me, and I would cuddle with her in my arms when I went to sleep...the last few months were not so good for her....dementia was ravaging her mind, she would get restless and wander the same exact path for an hour or so, bark at the wall....or stare at it...she would sometimes convulse in her sleep...sometimes waking me up...she could not see smell or hear...and the last week or so she was getting worse...like getting under a blanket and start howling thinking she was trapped, losing muscle mass, sleeping hard for hours, and we would be unable to revive her, sometimes watch her for several minutes to be sure she was even breathing...

Today, I made a decision that broke my heart....took her to the vet and discussed options...since this vet has been our family vet for years, he has never lied to us...he said he thought it was time...and I said ok....he injected her, and within two eternal seconds my poor baby had died in my arms...

Subject: RE: BS: Making a heart breaking decision
From: Gurney
Date: 23 Jun 08 - 06:33 PM

I've been there, Amergin. Commiserations.

Subject: RE: BS: Making a heart breaking decision
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 23 Jun 08 - 06:36 PM

Sorry, Amergin. It's so hard to have that done to your best pal, but harder to watch them suffer. I had my big Lab-Newfie put to sleep in 1991, but I still have memories and stories that make me smile.

When I get to Heaven, first thing I'll do
Take out my horn and call for Ol' Blue

Subject: RE: BS: Making a heart breaking decision
From: Bat Goddess
Date: 23 Jun 08 - 06:53 PM

Even knowing it's time, it's still hard...very hard.

Mortimer, my diabetic cat, developed renal failure almost two years ago. Spoiled him rotten for two weeks, promised him he'd never have to go to the vet again, never again be in a cage or cat carrier, or have to ride in the car. My vet and his assistant came out to the house and Mortimer breathed his last in my arms on the deck. (I'm tearing up now, writing about it.)

I miss my guy.

It's never easy...

Linn

Subject: RE: BS: Making a heart breaking decision
From: Leadfingers
Date: 23 Jun 08 - 06:55 PM

A lot of us have been there ! its not easy , but better than watching an old friend suffer !!

Subject: RE: BS: Making a heart breaking decision
From: GUEST,Dani
Date: 23 Jun 08 - 06:59 PM

Oh, yeah, been there. It came much more suddenly, but the girl had woven herself into my heart and it hurt so bad...

I'm sending you big hugs.

Dani

Subject: RE: BS: Making a heart breaking decision
From: GUEST,Chief Chaos
Date: 23 Jun 08 - 07:10 PM

Been in a similar situation. My Golden Retriever Maggie developed severe skin leisions that made her smell awful and caused incontinence and other problems. I think it was phisteria poisoning.
I didn't want to put her down but nobody wanted to be around her and her life had become a living hell as it was affecting her liver. No one could find a cure or reven tell us what it was. I held her as she breathed her last and collapsed in my arms. The vet said she didn't feel any pain, I know I did.

*Hugs*

Subject: RE: BS: Making a heart breaking decision
From: Amergin
Date: 23 Jun 08 - 07:22 PM

Thank you....been crying off and on since then...she was a cockapoo terrier mix....a bit of a turd at times, but very loving...i couldn't even do it on my own....the vet said it might be time...and i rang my mother...she came right over to offer me the support....and we talked more with him...and i said to do it....fuck...i feel in a way I betrayed her...but I know that I did the right thing...

Subject: RE: BS: Making a heart breaking decision
From: jacqui.c
Date: 23 Jun 08 - 07:23 PM

So sorry - I've been there a couple of times and it doesn't get any easier.

We are so lucky to have these companions who give so much and ask so little. Our Seamus is nearly ten, hopefully we'll have him around for a while yet but the idea of him not being there at some point is hard to take.


(((((((((((((((((((Amergin))))))))))))))))))))

Subject: RE: BS: Making a heart breaking decision
From: LilyFestre
Date: 23 Jun 08 - 07:52 PM

(((((((((((((((Amergin))))))))))))))))))

It takes a big heart to do what's best sometimes.

(((((More Hugs)))))))))

Michelle

Subject: RE: BS: Making a heart breaking decision
From: SINSULL
Date: 23 Jun 08 - 07:53 PM

So sorry - I too have had to make that decision. It is never easy. But I wish if I were in that condition, someone could end it quickly and painlessly for me.
You did the right thing for a good friend.
Mary

Subject: RE: BS: Making a heart breaking decision
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Jun 08 - 10:08 PM

There's no betrayal in doing right. She's probably watching you right now and would give you a good lickin' if she could.

Like the man said, "If there ain't no dogs in heaven I don't want ta go there."

Subject: RE: BS: Making a heart breaking decision
From: Janie
Date: 23 Jun 08 - 10:41 PM

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Amergin}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

Add these hugs to the rest. It is never easy.

Subject: RE: BS: Making a heart breaking decision
From: catspaw49
Date: 23 Jun 08 - 10:51 PM

If you love them as we all do, you have to be able to do the right thing for them. I have loved many dogs and cats and the end is never easy regardless of how it comes. Jaeger left us last year and now my girl Sissy is 12 and showing the signs of age.....still Daddy's girl and happy but Weims don't get past 13 very often so...........

Nathan......Ya' done good......and right. You have all my best thoughts, big hugs, and especially my respect. Much Love.......

Pat

Subject: RE: BS: Making a heart breaking decision
From: katlaughing
Date: 23 Jun 08 - 11:13 PM

My son just had to make this decision about one of his old lady cats, Izzie. It is never, ever easy, but it is our duty, our sacred duty, imo, to be ready and able to do that for them when the time comes and, like Sins, I wish someone could do the same for me. I know my dad felt the same way.

{{{{{{{{{{{{BIG HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}, Nathan and I hope the sharing may have lessened the sorrow even a small bit.

luvyakat

Subject: RE: BS: Making a heart breaking decision
From: Bee
Date: 24 Jun 08 - 12:22 AM

I know what it feels like. Had to make that decision alone and fast, off to the vet in a November rainstorm in the dark, and see thirteen years of devotion fade away in my arms. Hardest day of my life and I'm in tears as I write this.

I'm very sorry, Amergin.

Subject: RE: BS: Making a heart breaking decision
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 24 Jun 08 - 03:42 AM

You made the right decision, perhaps a little late. After Pippin (the lab cross) Cassie and Axel and Puff (the pointers) I finally managed to make up my mind and do it in time for Bonnie, the great dane.

Subject: RE: BS: Making a heart breaking decision
From: Bryn Pugh
Date: 24 Jun 08 - 05:31 AM

Empathy, sympathy and love.

Our old pussy cat, Shelley (tortoiseshell cat - US - calico cat - geddit ?) took very sick a week before her 20th birthday. It was hard - I was there with her in my arms as the vet put her to sleep, and my beloved and I crying our guts out.

We mourned her for three weeks, and then went to the Rescue. We came home with two kittens, Maisie, who is white and tortie, and Smutts who is tortie and white. She has a black 'blaze' on her face, hence her name.

Think a big hug, Amergin. You couldn't let a dear friend suffer.

Erica and Bryn

Subject: RE: BS: Making a heart breaking decision
From: bobad
Date: 24 Jun 08 - 06:11 AM

I have tears in my eyes remembering the times I had to do the same. The sorrow will ease with time and the memories will bring you comfort.

Subject: RE: BS: Making a heart breaking decision
From: Micca
Date: 24 Jun 08 - 06:42 AM

I remember standing holding Bilbo, who wasn't even my cat, while he went to sleep, he had lost half his body weight in a fortnight and wasn't eating, and I know it was a release from pain for that brave soul, but it still hurt, he is buried under the holly tree. We owe this last service to our friends and if your cat isn't your friend well, don't have them

Subject: RE: BS: Making a heart breaking decision
From: GUEST,LTS pretending to work
Date: 24 Jun 08 - 06:49 AM

Been there, done that, howled my head off for all 4 cats I've had to 'take to the vet' but felt that it was the right decision to be made in all cases - even the one that wasn't our cat.

Thinking of you.... but just what the heck is a cockapoo?

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Making a heart breaking decision
From: GUEST,Morti at work
Date: 24 Jun 08 - 07:43 AM

(((Hugs)))) Nathan

Subject: RE: BS: Making a heart breaking decision
From: jeffp
Date: 24 Jun 08 - 07:56 AM

You did the right thing.

My sympathies.

Subject: RE: BS: Making a heart breaking decision
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 24 Jun 08 - 09:02 AM

I think a cockapoo may well be a cocker spaniel/poodle cross, and I infer American Cocker.

Subject: RE: BS: Making a heart breaking decision
From: catspaw49
Date: 24 Jun 08 - 10:12 AM

You can also infer English Cocker. The American Cockapoo Association recognizes the English and American Cockapoo based of parentage.

good pics here

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Making a heart breaking decision
From: Becca72
Date: 24 Jun 08 - 11:02 AM

Just went throught this myself about 3 weeks ago with my sister's pug (who was like my own) Maxwell. He was 17 1/2 and had been failing fast in the past month. Arthritis, glaucoma and dementia. I cried very hard for that little dog (including right now). I spent last week with her other pug, Owen, who is 2 1/2 and I almost dreaded going to stay at her house knowing that Maxwell wasn't there anymore, but Owen is such a joy (he's a real goofball) that he made it ok. I won't ever forget Maxwell...I will take him with me in my heart for the rest of my years and I still have the memories of all the really funny shit he did.

Subject: RE: BS: Making a heart breaking decision
From: wysiwyg
Date: 24 Jun 08 - 11:11 AM

It's excruciating, but true. The good ones train US. They even train us to know when it's time to let them go. I had a cat that was just like your description of how Daphne had become. Before him I'd had cats in worse shape, that I held onto longer. By the time I had him, I was ready to let go earlier and spare him more suffering. And you will find that the same with your next pet-- learning to let go sooner.

Nowadays I protect my heart from that depth of grief by adding a new one long before the "best" one starts to suffer. The new one comforts me when I must let go of the "best" one and in time, it becomes the "best" one (helping to train another younger one). I still grieve them in their turn, but as I get older it's more and more a comfort to me to know that I spared them....

It helps me free up the cleansing tears to thank each of them, in the weeks and months after they're gone, for teaching me better for the next one.

This decision is not only the last thing we can do, for them; it's the last thing they do, for us. So I give thanks to Daphne for EVERYthing she taught you-- even this hard, hard lesson.

(((Amergin)))
this heartbreak

~Susan

Subject: RE: BS: Making a heart breaking decision
From: Bee
Date: 24 Jun 08 - 11:15 AM

I've just been on the phone with a dear friend who lost her husband last year. Their cat was seventeen when he died, and beginning to have health problems. She told me then she asked the cat to please just give her another year, and today, a year and a month after, she called to tell me she had to say goodbye this morning.

Subject: RE: BS: Making a heart breaking decision
From: ranger1
Date: 24 Jun 08 - 12:44 PM

(((((Amergin)))))

Went through this last year with our beloved yellow dog, Clancy. My vet sat on the floor and talked with me for a while. One of the the things that he said that will stick with me was that we have a contract with our animals to provide the best life possible for them and that part of that contract is to let them go when the quality of life is no longer there for them.

Subject: RE: BS: Making a heart breaking decision
From: Amergin
Date: 24 Jun 08 - 01:11 PM

Thank you all....growing up in a large family around alot of lovable furry family members....grandparents, aunts and uncles....all have had those critters who grew to be part of the extended family, and left a gaping hole when they passed on.....I have helped bury more than a few....

I had Daphne since I was 19 years old...and this was the first time I had to make this decision....and I could not do it alone. I rang my mom up and she came right over, and with her support I said (croaked is probably the more accurate term) do it....and held her while he injected the needle in her leg...she screamed once, and then she was gone....

I buried her in the garden beneath a tree...laying bricks over her grave. last night, i kept looking at my bed, expecting to see her there, I kept hearing sounds thinking it was her....but other than that, it is so quiet here....no tipping tapping on the hardwood floors, no howling at the door, windows, walls to be let in...it feels so empty.

I still have phoebe my basset hound. after she goes, I don't think i want anymore....dont think i could take much more of this pain.

Subject: RE: BS: Making a heart breaking decision
From: Becca72
Date: 24 Jun 08 - 01:32 PM

Amergin,
For weeks after I lost my Mara Jade (calico cat) I would feel a cat jump up on my bed in the wee hours and I'd reach out to give a stroke, thinking it was Madmardigan and realizing there was nothing there. I would hear her at the other end of the apartment getting into something (this cat LOVED plastic of any kind) while Maddy was sitting on my lap. We'd both look that way expecting to see her walk around the corner.
Eventually the hurt isn't quite so raw. I don't know what I'd do if I didn't have pets in my life. It hurts really badly when they leave you, but it's a trade off you make for years of unconditional love while they're here. I hope you change your mind in the future and decide to open your home and heart to another furball.

Subject: RE: BS: Making a heart breaking decision
From: JennyO
Date: 25 Jun 08 - 09:53 AM

{{{{{{ Nathan }}}}}}

Don't know what else to say. If you want to talk more, PM me. I have a soft shoulder.

Jenny

Subject: RE: BS: Making a heart breaking decision
From: mouldy
Date: 26 Jun 08 - 04:55 AM

Had to do the same thing for the first time ever in 2004 with my old sheepdog, Meg. She was 15 and getting infection after infection, losing weight, deaf, nearly blind, and seemed to be having little mini-strokes. She was a big dog, but weighed very little by then, and had to be carried into the vet's.
Later that day, I was thinking about her as I knelt to attend to the fireplace, and I know she visited me, as a waft of "old dog" smell came across. It hasn't happened since, so I think she was just saying thanks.

It still makes me feel rotten at times, but it is the kindest thing to do. I have another dog, now 12, and acting half her age. She was my mother's and I haven't quite the same bond with her. However, I know that when the time comes, I will feel just as guilty. Pets are part of our lives for often many years, and they leave a massive hole when they are no longer there. I live alone a lot of the time, and even though I may not be interacting with my dog, she is still another living being in the house, and quite a character too.

Lots of hugs

Andrea

Subject: RE: BS: Making a heart breaking decision
From: GUEST,petr
Date: 26 Jun 08 - 06:36 PM

went through that with 3 dogs in my life.

all I can say dogs are great (Cats too).. they teach you the important things. Maybe you come home tired and dont want to go for a walk but after you do you're glad you did. Any disagreements are quickly forgotten.

Subject: RE: BS: Making a heart breaking decision
From: Pistachio
Date: 27 Jun 08 - 06:43 PM

Got a huge lump in my throat with this thread.
So hard to make the kindest decision.
(((((((((((Hugs all round))))))))))))))
Hazel