BS: MY version of HELL

Subject: BS: MY version of HELL
From: olddude
Date: 26 Feb 09 - 10:23 PM

My version of Hell consists of stuck in a room listening to non stop Kenny G and given only Jello to eat ... wait wait ... that is not hell that is my local hospital ... why would anyone do that to sick people huh. Went to visit a friend ...

Now I am not proud of the fact that I don't like Kenny G ... but
I don't like Kenny G. I would rather listen to my dog passing gas then Kenny G .. (I apologize) but at least with dog gas understand the smell

And Jello what is that all about, why every time anyone gets sick they shove that stuff down ya like it is going to make you better... well it aint I am here to say ...I am an expert on it and it never made me better, nor did listening to Kenny G brighten up my day even a tad

What is with that little sax anyway ... geeeeeeeze
sorry to all the Kenny G fans ...
I fully expect to be burned for this, I will take my meds as long as I don't have to eat jello

Subject: RE: BS: MY version of HELL
From: GUEST,Slag
Date: 26 Feb 09 - 10:30 PM

I have to agree in part, at any rate. Jell-O because when you pass something more substantial than gas (depending on your condition and/or meds) it can be quite painful or even dangerous to your health. I will make no excuses for the vapid music. One man's Hell is another man's heaven, I guess.

When I had a long stay in the hospital I had friends and family smuggle in fast food and other goodies or I would have surely died!

Subject: RE: BS: MY version of HELL
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Feb 09 - 10:32 PM

There was a little sax in the hospital? Just a little? I've worked in hospitals and there was sax going on all the time...doctors, nurses....

Oh. SAX.

About Jello. It's mostly sugar and water and easily digested. It's also cheap. Personally I'd like it served in the brain mold, perhaps in different colors. Green brains, blue brains.... Jello in anatomical molds: perfect for a hospital.

Subject: RE: BS: MY version of HELL
From: Jeri
Date: 26 Feb 09 - 10:41 PM

I have one of those molds. Never used it because I figured I had to make gray Jello, and I couldn't figure out the right formula.

Subject: RE: BS: MY version of HELL
From: olddude
Date: 26 Feb 09 - 10:48 PM

You are scaring me .. so I have chrons disease, every time it acts up, yup go home Dan .. I think you need to eat jello and clear soup for a few days and take your meds ... so went up to see my bud stuck in the hosp.

then doc says we better scope ya. Now I don't know how many of you had the old roto router scope thing .. not fun ... when they do it they pump ya full of air so aferwords in recovery you toot like a steam boat. So last year I am laying in recovery virtually naked, tooting like a cheap Kenny G CD .. and this young nurse comes in and says ... Hi Dan you don't know me, I am your new neighbors ... just moved into the house behind your office, would you like some jello

you guess it Spaw would be proud of me ... I let out a semi blow
can't look she or her husband in the eyes since

Subject: RE: BS: MY version of HELL
From: Donuel
Date: 26 Feb 09 - 10:49 PM

Hell

Being trapped in an elevator with Lindsy Graham, Sarah Palin and Rush Limbaugh, and I have the only bag of food.

Subject: RE: BS: MY version of HELL
From: Ebbie
Date: 26 Feb 09 - 11:00 PM

Great image, Don! Scary...

Subject: RE: BS: MY version of HELL
From: number 6
Date: 26 Feb 09 - 11:10 PM

Hell ...

Locked in a room being forced to listen to Dan Hill and fed nothing but brussel sprouts ... oh yeah, I'd be let out of the room occasionally only to go outside for a while to shovel snow out of an never ending driveway.

biLL

Subject: RE: BS: MY version of HELL
From: Amos
Date: 26 Feb 09 - 11:17 PM

BEing forced to live through a New England winter while constantly being barraged with messages from some asshole talking about the weather in San Diego...oh, wait...never mind,....wrong number....yeah, sorry...



A

Subject: RE: BS: MY version of HELL
From: olddude
Date: 26 Feb 09 - 11:19 PM

Amos
I feel your pain believe me

Subject: RE: BS: MY version of HELL
From: GUEST,Slag
Date: 27 Feb 09 - 12:40 AM

Jeri, try equal parts berry (blue) and orange. You'll have your grey and east it too.

Subject: RE: BS: MY version of HELL
From: katlaughing
Date: 27 Feb 09 - 12:55 AM

Donuel, you forgot the muzak! Or, maybe that would be too much?!

Subject: RE: BS: MY version of HELL
From: gnu
Date: 27 Feb 09 - 06:15 AM

sIx.... I had forgotten about Dan Hill. Painful memories.

Subject: RE: BS: MY version of HELL
From: Lizzie Cornish 1
Date: 27 Feb 09 - 06:33 AM

I'm feeling ill.   I looked at that Brain Jelly, and now...I'm feeling right poorly!

Dan, move house, it's the only way you'll be able to enjoy life again.

:0)

We don't have music over here, yet...but I think there's still sax in the storeroom going on.

Subject: RE: BS: MY version of HELL
From: kendall
Date: 27 Feb 09 - 08:21 AM

I had to ask Jacqui who Kenny G is, and now that I know I have to agree with Old Dude. The saxophone sounds like a giant kazoo to me.

Jello aint so bad if you slather a lot of whipped cream on it.

My Hell would be, stuck in a room full of rappers and rock heads.Then, at the break, one of those women screechers that you hear in the supermarket. They sound like a hog caught in a barbed wire fence.
Then, as a treat, listening to George Bush speeches.

Subject: RE: BS: MY version of HELL
From: SINSULL
Date: 27 Feb 09 - 09:01 AM

A coffee free world.

Subject: RE: BS: MY version of HELL
From: Becca72
Date: 27 Feb 09 - 09:06 AM

Stuck in a room with Mariah Carey. She sounds like someone stepped on her tail...

Subject: RE: BS: MY version of HELL
From: Wesley S
Date: 27 Feb 09 - 09:15 AM

The old joke is what did Kenny G say when he steped off the elevator?

"That place ROCKS"

I was draged to a Kenney G concert one night. Free tickets. He's learned how to do something I understand is called circular breathing. Forcing air our of your mouth while breathing through your nose. It's an old trick. But it enables you to hold a note for 5 or ten minutes. Or even longer. Well ol Kenny had to prove his point at leat three times that night. And the crowd went NUTS. I kept thinking - hasn't this stadium of jazz fans never heard of Roland Kirk?

Subject: RE: BS: MY version of HELL
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Feb 09 - 09:19 AM

Hell: someplace without anything to read, even a cereal box or a street sign.

Subject: RE: BS: MY version of HELL
From: olddude
Date: 27 Feb 09 - 09:42 AM

Hey SINS
on msn today on the web they are talking about a new topless coffee shop opened in Maine

Maine Topless Coffee Shop

I think it was our Kendall

Subject: RE: BS: MY version of HELL
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 27 Feb 09 - 09:49 AM

It's a soprano sax isn't it? Sounded a whole lot better when Sidney Bechet used to play it.

Subject: RE: BS: MY version of HELL
From: SINSULL
Date: 27 Feb 09 - 10:07 AM

Yeah, old dude. I saw that. When they tried that in NYC we picketed the place and took pictures of people going in. Then we hired a bus with plans to picket the owner's home in some exclusive town on LI. He closed it down.
Sleaze like this does not belong in a residential neighborhood.
Of course, that makes me a prude - I can live with that.

Subject: RE: BS: MY version of HELL
From: Jayto
Date: 27 Feb 09 - 10:19 AM

I agree although I think I could take all the Jello in the world before I could take one Kenny G. CD. Kenny G. is without the Devil. On a very good note I heard on CNN yesterday that Muzak music company (the company responsible for most of the elevator music and music you hear while on hold)is almost bankrupt. YAY!!! finally and up side to this nasty economy. That stuff is mus-yak. Watch Kenny G. come to the rescue witha financial bailout for them.

I also agree with Sinsull. A coffeeless world full of Jello and Kenny G. that is without a doubt hell in my book.

Subject: RE: BS: MY version of HELL
From: olddude
Date: 27 Feb 09 - 10:28 AM

Good for you SINS
could not agree more

Subject: RE: BS: MY version of HELL
From: GUEST,HiLo
Date: 27 Feb 09 - 10:29 AM

Free tickets to the ice capades and a Celine Dionne cd...oh, and Kenny G would fit right in. AND the only book left on the planet being Pillars of The Earth...I can feel the flames.

Subject: RE: BS: MY version of HELL
From: Wesley S
Date: 27 Feb 09 - 10:43 AM

If Musak does go belly up it will just be bought out by some company that will ruin it's original artistic vision.

Subject: RE: BS: MY version of HELL
From: kendall
Date: 27 Feb 09 - 11:44 AM

If I'm ever going by that coffee shop and one of those perverts stops me and demands that I go in, then I will complain. However, as far as I know, no one has been required to go there.

Maybe I'm the pervert here, but in my opinion the human female bosom is the most beautiful thing in all of nature. It is we latter day puritans who have made them obscene.

Ladies, you may go topless in my presence any time! And you will be honored, not groped. (Unless you insist)

Subject: RE: BS: MY version of HELL
From: Jayto
Date: 27 Feb 09 - 12:12 PM

Muzak going bankrupt? What is this world coming to? Are there just not enough people being put on hold anymore? lol

Subject: RE: BS: MY version of HELL
From: olddude
Date: 27 Feb 09 - 12:32 PM

Kendall
LOL
I bet a lot of young ladies would take you up on that offer - you little devil you ...

the rest of us, well we would need a big stack of dollar bills

:-)

Subject: RE: BS: MY version of HELL
From: SINSULL
Date: 27 Feb 09 - 12:33 PM

This thread brings to mind a concert Jacqui and I attended recently. First we cringed; then we laughed; then we left for the sake of those around us. Pure torture.

Kendall,
There is a reason someone goes into a topless coffee bar and it is not in admiration of the female breast. Places like that attract the worst sleaze in the world and those living nearby have to deal with it.
The owner of the Nude Juice Bar in NYC was horrified that the "element" from Jackson Heights was planning to show up by the busload in his gated community. He had utter contempt for us and couldn't believe we would even notice his sleazy little enterprise.
When it threatened to tarnish his own neighborhood, he changed his mind.
The human body is beautiful. It should be respected.
Mary, the Prude.

Subject: RE: BS: MY version of HELL
From: olddude
Date: 27 Feb 09 - 12:40 PM

Only problem I have is I would probably choke to death trying to eat my donut and drink coffee with the distraction ... best I stay away from such unless i was more coordinated

what was it you said about whipped cream and jello
LOL

Subject: RE: BS: MY version of HELL
From: Jayto
Date: 27 Feb 09 - 12:42 PM

My luck I would go in the day the guy was working. What a bummer that would be lol.

Subject: RE: BS: MY version of HELL
From: Jayto
Date: 27 Feb 09 - 12:42 PM

Well and that guy would be Kenny G. of course lol

Subject: RE: BS: MY version of HELL
From: jacqui.c
Date: 27 Feb 09 - 12:42 PM

That cellar is gonna get awful crowded if you boys don't behave!

Subject: RE: BS: MY version of HELL
From: Jayto
Date: 27 Feb 09 - 12:46 PM

Even if I started behaving now I think my reservation in the cellar is in still standing lol.

Subject: RE: BS: MY version of HELL
From: Jeri
Date: 27 Feb 09 - 12:53 PM

If the place is licensed for boobies, I know a good way to mess them up. Me and a few friends could clear the place in no time!

Personally, the cellar's looking mighty fine right now...

Subject: RE: BS: MY version of HELL
From: frogprince
Date: 27 Feb 09 - 12:56 PM

Regarding the beloved Kenny G: There was an article, with interview, in our local paper a couple of months ago. Kenny was asked what music he listened to himself. He replied that he never listens to any music except his own. I'm still trying to get my mind around that; I've never heard any other performer say anything like that in my life.

Subject: RE: BS: MY version of HELL
From: SINSULL
Date: 27 Feb 09 - 12:57 PM

I have visions of Kendall needing milk for his coffee.

Is there room in the cellar for me?

Subject: RE: BS: MY version of HELL
From: Amos
Date: 27 Feb 09 - 12:59 PM

I am completely in accord with Kendall's respect for the Divine Curve. As the Founder and Chief Missionary of the Temple of the Golden Globes, I can say with some authority that there are hardly any objects in the Universe of more inherent beauty. The fact that they come in matched (more or less) pairs is sure proof of the existence of a boutniful and generous Divinity that shapes our ends, mishew them how we may, not to put too fine a point on things.


A

Subject: RE: BS: MY version of HELL
From: Jayto
Date: 27 Feb 09 - 01:02 PM

I have heard a bunch of artists say that about only listening to thier own music. I don't understand that at all. I had one tell me he didn't want any outside influence just his own creativity. I laughed and probably made him mad but sometimes if you say something stupid you deserve to be made mad lol. I don't understand that at all. To me it is arrogance. I think Kenny probably doesn't listen to other artists music because then he has to come to terms with how lame his own is.

Subject: RE: BS: MY version of HELL
From: number 6
Date: 27 Feb 09 - 01:05 PM

Amos .... does your statment above inndicate that you are a Hooters franchise owner?

biLL

Subject: RE: BS: MY version of HELL
From: Jeri
Date: 27 Feb 09 - 01:13 PM

I've said some pretty stupid things and had a good laugh at myself sometimes. If you can't laugh at yourself, then you shouldn't be making fun of the other poor, dumb slobs!

I need to put some new strings on my guitar. The ones I have are starting to sound like baling twine. See you all after the move (unless I'm faster than Max).

Subject: RE: BS: MY version of HELL
From: olddude
Date: 27 Feb 09 - 01:23 PM

just put some on yesterday. like always a poked a hole in my thumb. 40 years and I can't change strings without poking myself. What a clutz.

I wish Kenny would be the only one to listen to Kenny
the world would be a better place.

Now if we could do something about jello

Subject: RE: BS: MY version of HELL
From: SINSULL
Date: 27 Feb 09 - 01:25 PM

SOmeone did - Jell-O pits.

Subject: RE: BS: MY version of HELL
From: olddude
Date: 27 Feb 09 - 01:28 PM

be afraid be very afraid ...jell-o pits

Subject: RE: BS: MY version of HELL
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Feb 09 - 01:33 PM

Jello has pits, like peaches and cherries?

Subject: RE: BS: MY version of HELL
From: kendall
Date: 27 Feb 09 - 01:38 PM

Sinsull, I can't speak for other perverts, I was only spouting my own belief. It's hard for me to picture a gang of scumbags from Jackson Heights going to Vassalboro Maine to gawp at boobs. Most of them couldn't find it on a map. Some of them couldn't find Jackson Heights on a map!

Subject: RE: BS: MY version of HELL
From: SINSULL
Date: 27 Feb 09 - 01:52 PM

You are deliberately muddying the waters, Captain.Vassalboro and its surroundings has its own collection of sleazy types. And the "map" reference did not get by me.
Cellar!

Subject: RE: BS: MY version of HELL
From: kendall
Date: 27 Feb 09 - 08:01 PM

I didn't know you are familiar with Vassalboro. Tell me about it.
My feeling is,if you don't like it, stay away!

Subject: RE: BS: MY version of HELL
From: olddude
Date: 27 Feb 09 - 08:11 PM

Vassalboro
Is that one of those little donkeys they have at the North Rim of the Grand Canyon