BS: Bobert 1st Pres. of Europe???

Subject: BS: Bobert 1st Pres. of Europe???
From: Bobert
Date: 08 Oct 09 - 10:46 AM

Well, I just heard that folks is talkin' about Europe needing a President and seein' as Chongo ain't throwed his hat in the ring that I might as well...

(But you don't even speak European, Boberdz...)

Details, details... I gotta matchbook right in front of me where I can send $99 and get a corresondence course in speakin' European... Hey, how tough can it be???

(Where exactly is Europe, Boberdz???)

Hey, look... It's gonna be a long campaign an' I got lotta time to learnt up that geometry stuff... Right now I'm busy with trying to find some good people to work on the campaign and to get my position papers in order... BTW, do them Europeans smoke pot??? If so, that's a good start... Maybe a slogan " A Little Pot in Every Voter"...

Skivz...

Candidate Bobert

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert 1st Pres. of Europe???
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Oct 09 - 10:58 AM

I kin speak some of that Yurpeen, Bobert. I'll run as your running mate as long as you don't try no funny stuff other than the smokin. And I know where it is -- it's kinda Easty of Virginy and sort of South of the North Pole (where Santy lives, ya know). Here, I'll translate "Voting Fer Bobert Is The Best Thing Fer Yurup" into Yurpeen to demonstrate how good I talk it:

Votez-du por Bobert esta muy gutter thingo for toot Yurup, ya sure betcha!

I'll go along with yer "A Chicken In Every Pot and Some Pot In Every Chicken" motto, too.

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert 1st Pres. of Europe???
From: olddude
Date: 08 Oct 09 - 11:05 AM

I will make ya a web page Bobster, Have your sidewalk bob out there as a campaign tune. Get yer mud all over the net fer ya.   Heck I bet I can dig up some dead relatives that will vote also ...

LOL

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert 1st Pres. of Europe???
From: gnu
Date: 08 Oct 09 - 11:08 AM

I'll offer my services as Secretary of the Inferior.

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert 1st Pres. of Europe???
From: Bobert
Date: 08 Oct 09 - 11:17 AM

Listen, ya'll... I ain't taken the European langage course yet so it's okay to talk Americanese fir now...

BTW, Rap... Is that really Europeanese... Lot like way back in Wes Ginny in Deliverin' country...

B~

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert 1st Pres. of Europe???
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Oct 09 - 11:23 AM

Yup, sure is. Them WVians don't know they talk good Yurpeen.

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert 1st Pres. of Europe???
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Oct 09 - 11:33 AM

We could call you "President Bobert the First". Them Yurpeens like folks with numbers after their names, like Alexander the 6 and Ivan the Three. It's kinda like football players' numbers.

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert 1st Pres. of Europe???
From: Bill D
Date: 08 Oct 09 - 11:47 AM

They also describe their favorite leaders... like "Ethelred the Unready" or "Pippin the Short"

...you could be "Bobert the Bewildering"

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert 1st Pres. of Europe???
From: GUEST,leeneia
Date: 08 Oct 09 - 11:52 AM

Five months ago I was in Europe. Going from England to France on the train, we went through a long, long tunnel and I asked myself, "Was that it? Was that the famous Channel Tunnel? Are we in France now?"

For a long time I studied the landscape and could not tell. Roads, fields, trees, rocks all looked the same. There were no billboards to show me the language. (What a blessing!)

Finally I spotted a truck and saw that it was driving on the right side of the road. That was the only way I could tell that we had entered France. Gosh, all those centuries of war, and now a traveller can only tell them apart by the road rules.

Rapaire: brush up on the meaning of 'football' before you and Bobert announce your candidacy.

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert 1st Pres. of Europe???
From: SINSULL
Date: 08 Oct 09 - 12:13 PM

I bet I can organize the Floozies and act as their Wardrobe Lady. Have to find an old VW bus painted psychedelic day glo - that will get you the over 60 vote and they're the only ones who vote over there I think.

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert 1st Pres. of Europe???
From: Bobert
Date: 08 Oct 09 - 12:17 PM

Lotta good thinkin' goin' on here...

VW bus??? Absolute genious...

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert 1st Pres. of Europe???
From: Peace
Date: 08 Oct 09 - 12:23 PM

Europe? Beautiful country.

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert 1st Pres. of Europe???
From: Bill D
Date: 08 Oct 09 - 12:35 PM

I dunno 'bout a VW bus... the only ones what look 'right' when painted are before 1960, and them things ain't dependable. That rear cylinder on the left (#3?) gets too hot and you wouldn't wanta try getting thru Swisherland in one...them hills can be durn near vertical!

Maybe tow one behind something sturdy and use it as yer traveling throne room.

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert 1st Pres. of Europe???
From: Peace
Date: 08 Oct 09 - 12:37 PM

Good idea, Bill.

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert 1st Pres. of Europe???
From: SINSULL
Date: 08 Oct 09 - 12:51 PM

I guess the Floozies can ride on top. But where do we store the boas?

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert 1st Pres. of Europe???
From: Crow Sister (off with the fairies)
Date: 08 Oct 09 - 01:52 PM

Here you go B, why not check this for top campaign tippets?

"Magic Bus" tour through UK

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert 1st Pres. of Europe???
From: Amos
Date: 08 Oct 09 - 01:57 PM

Wait--we have to see his burf certificate. He wasn't born Yurpeen, was he?



A

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert 1st Pres. of Europe???
From: SINSULL
Date: 08 Oct 09 - 02:01 PM

No but his great great great great great great grandafather fought for the Brits in the Revolutionary War. You can't refuse the offspring of a veteran.


SHHHH I know Bobert. But by the time they check it out (thirty years of research at least) your term will be up and the damage done.

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert 1st Pres. of Europe???
From: Bill D
Date: 08 Oct 09 - 02:13 PM

I don't think we oughta let Bobert go over there. He 'might' just win, and ruin the entertainment value of Berlusconi and Sarkozy.

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert 1st Pres. of Europe???
From: gnu
Date: 08 Oct 09 - 02:36 PM

I see Peace has tried to surreptitiously usurp my offer of Secretary of the Inferior, but I stand on my record, and if you check it out, I am sure you will agreee I am far more qualified.

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert 1st Pres. of Europe???
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 08 Oct 09 - 02:38 PM

leenia - you wuz in yurup if they was driving on the right side of the road. in england they don't and that's a fact.

Bobert - I'll shore vote fer ya. But you don't wanna be travelling that there chunnel thing. Just last week it was closed down over night for some damn reason. The traffic was backed up to Dartford Crossing. That's a 60 mile tailback. Longtime for the Floozies to be sitting on the roof of the VW. They would need down comforters rather than feather boas. Is there enough in the campaign coffers for that?

Don't recommend the ferries either as the din of car alarms in the hold during gale force 5 crossings can deafen you. You would be a hollering "Que?" and "donde el banjo?" at all them digitaries and amb-ass-doors all the time.

Take the hovercraft to Holland. Pot there is real good and the Floozies can pick up some work and fill the campaign coffers too, in that red light district.

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert 1st Pres. of Europe???
From: Peace
Date: 08 Oct 09 - 02:40 PM

Listen up Gnu. You are NOT more qualified than me to be the Inferior Secretary. YOU SEEN MY LEGS?

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert 1st Pres. of Europe???
From: MMario
Date: 08 Oct 09 - 02:50 PM

according to wikipedia yurope consists of NATO in the west and Warsaw-packs in the east; and as a Merican Bobardz is NATO-ese, so he fills the citizenry requirement, yes?

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert 1st Pres. of Europe???
From: Peace
Date: 08 Oct 09 - 02:52 PM

Yea. He doen't yet speak Yerpeen, but he'll learn.

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert 1st Pres. of Europe???
From: GUEST,leeneia
Date: 08 Oct 09 - 03:00 PM

'...those hills can be durn near vertical.'

Bill D. where I was, the hills WERE vertical. Take a look at this:


don't fall off!

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert 1st Pres. of Europe???
From: gnu
Date: 08 Oct 09 - 03:04 PM

Peace... unfortunately, yes. Now, I haven't worn short pants since I was a youndg man, even though I have the legs of a squash player who could take on foes for several hours in a row.

Fact is, that is not in the statement of duties and qualifications for the position in question. If this degrades to a contest ala "Jaws movie scar comparison", I can send you pics by email that I would advise you not to open.

Now, back to the real question of who is less qualified... please?

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert 1st Pres. of Europe???
From: SINSULL
Date: 08 Oct 09 - 03:15 PM

Do either of you have a driver's license? Someone has to drive the portapotty bus. How about a credit card? At some point the Floozies will want to sleep and bathe and buy souvenir teaspoons and the like.
Maybe even 'irate shirts.

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert 1st Pres. of Europe???
From: gnu
Date: 08 Oct 09 - 03:24 PM

I have a license. And the pic doesn't show my legs. I also have a credit card with a large limit, but I could never pay it, so I wouldn't put any floozies on plastic.

Does the portapooty bus have a condom dispenser, or is it one a them cheap ones?

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert 1st Pres. of Europe???
From: SINSULL
Date: 08 Oct 09 - 03:35 PM

There will be NO fraternizing with the Floozies. As Wardrobe Mistress, I will see to that.

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert 1st Pres. of Europe???
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 08 Oct 09 - 03:36 PM

I told you if you only read. the Floozies can earn their's and everyone else's keep if you start in Amsterdam, Holland.

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert 1st Pres. of Europe???
From: Bill D
Date: 08 Oct 09 - 03:39 PM

A street in Amsterdam

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert 1st Pres. of Europe???
From: Bobert
Date: 08 Oct 09 - 05:01 PM

First of all, I know all about #3 exhaust valves and VW buses... That's what reverse gear is fir, Bill... Ya' se, it's a taller gear than 1st so that means you don't work the modor as hard on hills if ya back up 'um... Get it???... This is why I should be electrcuted as the next European president... 'Cause I know all the right stuff, that's why...

As fir the Floozies??? They gonna ride in style... I gonna have my Couzin Rufus take all his Chevettsan' cut 'um up and we're gonna build us a Floozie Stretch-vette and stuff all the
Floozies in the back... Hey, if we take on more Floozies... I mean, add some, then we gonna just weld on some more Chevettes to accomodate them... I was kinda thinkin' that we'de take about 5 Chevette engines and weld 'um together and have a 20 or so modor to run the Floozie Stretch-vette... Might of fact, I can get back there with them and they can help me with the new langage...

More proof that I am eminently qulaified...

C.B. (Candidate Bobert)

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert 1st Pres. of Europe???
From: gnu
Date: 08 Oct 09 - 05:09 PM

AmsterDAM! looks expensive... and dangerous.

Of course, here, ya gotta pay $20 up front and at least $100,000 later if ya get a dud.

Amsterdam has a certain apPeal.

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert 1st Pres. of Europe???
From: Skivee
Date: 08 Oct 09 - 05:40 PM

Hey Mr Ex-Preserdental Now Youripian Presdiental Candidude Bobster, Iff'n you need a Secertary of sumthin', I sure would like to go to Youripe fer a while. Your choice. Just make it a cushy job, okay buddy?
It mite just help me get over the disapointment of the last big campain

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert 1st Pres. of Europe???
From: RangerSteve
Date: 08 Oct 09 - 07:46 PM

I'd like to be considered for the post of Secretary in Charge of Countries That Are Too Small to be Noticed, And that Should Be Part of a Bigger Country, but Aren't For Reasons That Nobody Quite Understands. (Malta, Andorra, Monaco, Liechtenstein, San Marino). Yurp's a big place, and those guys can get overlooked. There you are, trying to rule the place, when all of a sudden, these little guys start making trouble, asking questions, wanting favors, and suddenly you realize you've never heard of them. Why not send them to me, a guy who knows of their existence? I'll pat them on the head, say something patronizing, like "Aren't you cute?", give them a cookie and send them on their way, and you (Bobert) can devote your time to more important things, involving countries that matter. I'll even declare Cyprus to be part of Asia, in case that hasn't been done yet.

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert 1st Pres. of Europe???
From: Bobert
Date: 08 Oct 09 - 07:48 PM

Hey, Skivz... I was kinda thinkin' that you could be like, ahhhhh, the driver this time around... That way you ain't gotta get all emotionally twisted up in yer tummy like last time...

Of course, yer gonna have to set aside your passion for Yugos when you sit behind the wheel of the Floozie Stretch-vette but think about it this way... There was a time in yer life when ya' had to hide yer Mad magazines inside adulter magazines, right??? Well, this is kinda like that... We all gotta make some sacrifice... I mean, just look at me... Hey, I'd rather smoke pot and get drunk everyday but if I get elected then I'll prolly only be able to do that a couple times a week... See what I mean??? Hey, it's only four danged years, ain't it??? You can just put the Yugo in storage with a big old tarp over it to keep the dust off it...

What else???

Oh yeah... Amsterdam... I think that would be a cool place to have a White House... Yeah, we can put a windmill on the side of it and grow tulips around it... I hear that they bring you hash with yer salad in the finer resturants... No wonder folk quit immigrating to the US from Europe...

B~

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert 1st Pres. of Europe???
From: Bobert
Date: 08 Oct 09 - 07:53 PM

I hadn't got that far with my geometry, RSteve... I didn't realize that there were, ahhhhhh, these countries... But, hey, if you can buy them off with a pat on the head and a cookie then, sheet fire, you got the job... Sound like rug rats to me but, hey, they vote... I think???... Maybe they don't... I don't know... Back to studyin'... Hey, this job ain't goina be easy... It's hard bein' president...

B~

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert 1st Pres. of Europe???
From: olddude
Date: 08 Oct 09 - 08:09 PM

Hey Bobster, how about putting Popcorn Sutton on the new currency when you are pres ... being how you like shine an all

popcorn sutton

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert 1st Pres. of Europe???
From: Peace
Date: 08 Oct 09 - 08:10 PM

Hey, Bobert, ya dizzy bugger, you ain't been elected yet.

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert 1st Pres. of Europe???
From: Peace
Date: 08 Oct 09 - 08:16 PM

Uh, can I get beheaded for calling the soon-to-be President of almost the entire world with the exception of Patagonia and Ville Emard a dizzy bugger?

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert 1st Pres. of Europe???
From: Peace
Date: 08 Oct 09 - 08:25 PM

It is with great sadness that I declare Gnu the soon-to-be Secretary of the Inferior. I am applying to be the soon-to-be Secretary of the
Pot Patch and Assorted Psychedelic Mushrooms an





WHOA

bakllla      
             ter

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert 1st Pres. of Europe???
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Oct 09 - 08:56 PM

Who wants to be Sexraterry of De Fence? De fence needs some new pickets and slats, so you gotta be willin ta work and mebbe even put in some fence posts. Otherwise the cows'll git out inta the corn field.

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert 1st Pres. of Europe???
From: Peace
Date: 08 Oct 09 - 09:31 PM

And Jimmy will do the crackin'. BUT, I don't care.

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert 1st Pres. of Europe???
From: Janie
Date: 08 Oct 09 - 10:54 PM

Real Bluesmenz don't wanna be prezident of no country.

Well, mebbee country bluesmenz do....

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert 1st Pres. of Europe???
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Oct 09 - 11:00 PM

Peace, I care. I care very much. You might not care but I do.

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert 1st Pres. of Europe???
From: GUEST,leeneia
Date: 09 Oct 09 - 12:04 AM

God, it's lonesome today. My beloved is 200 miles away, it's been raining all day, and no one will even look at my beautiful picture of Switzerland.

Whatsamatter? Afraid the other boys will jeer at you if you talk to a girl?

NB: you can't go up those slopes in a bus. You will need a VW Beetle.

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert 1st Pres. of Europe???
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 09 Oct 09 - 03:16 AM

How many Floozies?

Mr. Bobertz... ummm ... eerrr... may I just correct you on one little mispro...nancy...nashun

it ainit 'nt geometry. It is joggraphy..

You don't want to go gettin yerself asscoiated wif that other prsident that couldn't talk good.

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert 1st Pres. of Europe???
From: Monique
Date: 09 Oct 09 - 07:24 AM

Bobertz, I sugest ye to run furst for prisdent of a coal lishun Lux and Burg - Swiss or Land - Licht on Tyne, das is vere most of der moni is. Dopo ye won't needle be elected by el pee poll since in este vurl, el pee poll don't kaunt. Ye know I know becose I'm Yurpeen!

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert 1st Pres. of Europe???
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 09 Oct 09 - 07:43 AM

Ranger Steve... you be ceerful of them small semi invisible nayshuns. I mean look at Bellejim.

it makes all the deecisions for the Yurpeen union much to the aggervashun of England et al.

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert 1st Pres. of Europe???
From: gnu
Date: 09 Oct 09 - 08:04 AM

After readin about Obama this mornin, I think Bobert should get nominated fer the Nobel Peace Pipe Prize right quick like.