BS: Best(?) names

Subject: BS: Best(?) names
From: Nemesis
Date: 19 Nov 04 - 07:11 PM

I knew there had to be a reason I picked up a discarded copy of the Financial Times on the train to work this week...

A report about Coca-Cola quoted their Chief Marketing Officer, ''Chuck Fruit''...

Any good names you've come across? We have a Dr De'Ath locally ...

Subject: RE: BS: Best(?) names
From: Sorcha
Date: 19 Nov 04 - 07:36 PM

Will Rich Hoar please come to the Service Desk? Your party is waiting....

Subject: RE: BS: Best(?) names
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 19 Nov 04 - 07:36 PM

I seriously went to school with Richard Head in the days before the modern expression arrived....Wonder if he gets ragged about his name now!
Best wishes.

Subject: RE: BS: Best(?) names
From: pdq
Date: 19 Nov 04 - 07:55 PM

A knife-thrower named Dick Pierce?

Subject: RE: BS: Best(?) names
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 19 Nov 04 - 07:58 PM

Oh and there is a Solicitor in Nottingham called Rupert Bear.
Best wishes.

Subject: RE: BS: Best(?) names
From: Nemesis
Date: 19 Nov 04 - 08:02 PM

Hotblack Desiato the character in (Hitchhikers/ RedDwarf .. too late at night I forget which?)

really is named after a firm of Estate Agents in London

Subject: RE: BS: Best(?) names
From: Auggie
Date: 19 Nov 04 - 08:07 PM

Stock car racer Dick Trickle (always wanted one of those hats with his name on it)

Subject: RE: BS: Best(?) names
From: Bert
Date: 19 Nov 04 - 09:53 PM

I used to know an electrician named Ted Flicker.

Subject: RE: BS: Best(?) names
From: Ebbie
Date: 19 Nov 04 - 10:01 PM

In Oregon there is a dentist, Dr. Payne, and a surgeon, Dr. Schneider.

Subject: RE: BS: Best(?) names
From: Padre
Date: 19 Nov 04 - 10:06 PM

In the seventh grade, a girl transferred in whose name was Fonda Peters.

Subject: RE: BS: Best(?) names
From: frogprince
Date: 19 Nov 04 - 10:07 PM

Long ago we had TV ads for "Your local Culligan Soft Water Man, Sandy Leak, in Minnesota Lake". Honest.

Subject: RE: BS: Best(?) names
From: Cluin
Date: 20 Nov 04 - 12:06 AM

On a van seen in a small community in Eastern Ontario on the way to a gig in Kingston..... Mumby Septic Pumping. We saw it while we were listening to a book on tape, W.O. Mitchell reading an assortment of his "Jake & the Kid" stories. Septic Pumping Mumby just sounded too much like a W.O.M. character. So we started composing a song about when Septic Pumping Mumby met Floozy Balloon.

Subject: RE: BS: Best(?) names
From: Cluin
Date: 20 Nov 04 - 12:07 AM

Yep, lotta road between gigs in Canada....

Subject: RE: BS: Best(?) names
From: CarolC
Date: 20 Nov 04 - 12:20 AM

My favorite of all time and forever, painter and puppetmaker...

Michael Carmichael Carr

Subject: RE: BS: Best(?) names
From: Nemesis
Date: 20 Nov 04 - 06:46 AM

Oh, how could I forget .. slight thread drift (on a bright red van in town)

''Andy's Aerials'' ... ''Satisfaction with every Erection''

Subject: RE: BS: Best(?) names
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 20 Nov 04 - 07:57 AM

I knew someome called Wayne Kerr....

And a Aussie Take-Away Shop called 'The Taik Hawaii'...

Subject: RE: BS: Best(?) names
From: Micca
Date: 20 Nov 04 - 08:14 AM

There was an Indian supermarket in East London called
"The New Delhi-catessen"

Subject: RE: BS: Best(?) names
From: mack/misophist
Date: 20 Nov 04 - 11:15 AM

Used to know a Peter Bent who always introduced himself last name first.

Subject: RE: BS: Best(?) names
From: GUEST,Cod Fiddler
Date: 20 Nov 04 - 11:25 AM

If you go to

www.yournotme.com

you can type in names and see if people with mad names really exist. You can also see how many others there are with your name. Tess Tickel always tickeled me but sadly it's not real. I do have a Dutch colleague called Dr. Cock Van Oosterhout though!

Richard.

Subject: RE: BS: Best(?) names
From: Chris Green
Date: 20 Nov 04 - 11:30 AM

My surname is Green. I decided a long time ago that if I ever have a son I shall name him Soylent!

Subject: RE: BS: Best(?) names
From: Chris Green
Date: 20 Nov 04 - 11:33 AM

And if I ever have a daughter I shall spurn the obvious Teresa and name her Latrine. I've always thought it sounded more like a girl's name than a toilet.

Subject: RE: BS: Best(?) names
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 20 Nov 04 - 11:53 AM

Sort of name she might get bogged down with though!!!
Best wishes.

Subject: RE: BS: Best(?) names
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 20 Nov 04 - 11:54 AM

Might be the sort of girl who gets easily flushed....

Subject: RE: BS: Best(?) names
From: Sttaw Legend
Date: 20 Nov 04 - 12:02 PM

Shop in Hull called "Bob Sewell" apparently he didn't like "R Sewell"

Subject: RE: BS: Best(?) names
From: Firecat
Date: 20 Nov 04 - 12:04 PM

Hotblack Desiato the character in Hitchhikers/ Red Dwarf

I can tell you that character is definitely not in Red Dwarf! Must be in Hitchhikers.

Back of the subject of names, I used to be taught cello by a man called Mr. Tune, and the school he tatught at before going private had a Head of English called Mr Shakespeare. Nominative determination or what!

Subject: RE: BS: Best(?) names
From: Snuffy
Date: 20 Nov 04 - 12:19 PM

Not forgetting the Warwick firm of Solicitors, Wright, Hassall & Co

Subject: RE: BS: Best(?) names
From: Chris Green
Date: 20 Nov 04 - 12:36 PM

Moonunit's doctor is called Dr Treacher.

Subject: RE: BS: Best(?) names
From: GUEST,toenails john
Date: 20 Nov 04 - 12:39 PM

This is not me, somebody sent me this ages ago, it is true, it did happen, but my involvment goes as far as copy & paste. Enjoy
This is the story.....


We'd go and sit on the balcony at Terminal 3 at Heathrow Airport, directly under one of the PA speakers where we put a tape machine in a bag with the microphone poking out of the top. Then we'd look for a flight that had arrived in the last 40 minutes from somewhere where you'd expect people with unpronounceable names i.e. Saudi Arabia,

We would then go to the Airport Help Desk with a prewritten note containing the names of fictitious passengers and ask them to read out the names over the PA system.

The passenger's names looked innocent enough on paper but they sounded like something else when read out loud.

Looks Like…
Arheddis Varkenjaab and Aywellbe Fayed        
sounds like
I hate this fucking job, and I will be fired

Looks Like
Arjevbin Fayed and Bybeiev Rhibodie
sounds like        
I've just been fired, and bye-bye everybody

Looks like
Aynayda Pizaqvick and Malexa Krost
sounds like        
I need a piss quick, and my legs are crossed

Looks like
Awul Dasfilshabeda and Nowaynayda Zheet
sounds like        
Oo-ah, that ' s better and now I need a shit

Looks like
Makollig Jezvahted and Levdaroum DeBahzted        
sounds like
My colleague just farted, and left the room, the bastard

Looks like
Steelaygot Maowenbach and Tuka Piziniztee
sounds like        
Still, I got my own back and took a piss in his tea



We got rumbled doing the "My colleague just, etc. " They actually threatened to arrest us as apparently they'd received complaints over the previous weeks!

Subject: RE: BS: Best(?) names
From: Chris Green
Date: 20 Nov 04 - 12:45 PM

That was on a satirical programme in the UK in the mid-90s called "The Day Today" written by Chris Morris, of "Brass Eye" fame (or notoriety, if you prefer!)

Subject: RE: BS: Best(?) names
From: HuwG
Date: 20 Nov 04 - 09:08 PM

There was a firm in Sheffield (UK), named : "Shufflebottom & Co. (Wire Drawers)"

Subject: RE: BS: Best(?) names
From: Mudlark
Date: 20 Nov 04 - 10:09 PM

A teacher I had: Elizabeth Coffin Graves
A clerk in a local health food store: Helen Pancake
A British author: Nigel Pinfold

Subject: RE: BS: Best(?) names
From: Nemesis
Date: 20 Nov 04 - 11:36 PM

Not forgetting the German pilot I met in South Africa .. goes by the glorious moniker: Capt Frank Herpes
His co-pilot was Danish .. something Renko)
Sounds like an alternative comedy show 'Renko & Herpes'

And the elderly lady tea plucker on the Tea estate where I lived called Rhoda Dick .. apparently she had had a long career on many of theother estates in the district.

Subject: RE: BS: Best(?) names
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 21 Nov 04 - 05:17 AM

In the days of The Hanging Lamp FC in Richmond Surrey, the minister's name as written on the board outside was, Rev. A. C. Upstill. At least he knew whether he was AC or DC!
Giok

Subject: RE: BS: Best(?) names
From: Sooz
Date: 21 Nov 04 - 07:19 AM

A student friend of mine was Diane Sage and her boyfriend was Dave Onions. What a partnership!

Subject: RE: BS: Best(?) names
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 21 Nov 04 - 09:09 AM

Stuffing anybody?

Subject: RE: BS: Best(?) names
From: GUEST
Date: 21 Nov 04 - 09:53 AM

I knew a bartender up north named Jerry Alexander who named his daughter Brandy.

Subject: RE: BS: Best(?) names
From: Juan P-B
Date: 21 Nov 04 - 02:30 PM

When I was in the Royal Navy the Petty Officer Marine Engineers had the title POME (Pronounced Pommie)

On HMS Ark Royal there was a POME (Mike) Grannitt

I also knew a WRN by the name of Tracy Hoar who used to get a bit of stick until she married Dave Trollope

Juan P-B

Subject: RE: BS: Best(?) names
From: GUEST,jacqui.c
Date: 21 Nov 04 - 02:49 PM

I once worked with a guy, in an insurance claims department, called Brent Cheetham.

Subject: RE: BS: Best(?) names
From: Blowzabella
Date: 21 Nov 04 - 03:01 PM

There was an 18th Century showman we 're-created' for an event, who was called Mr Nicholas Hoare....took us ages before we realised...!

Subject: RE: BS: Best(?) names
From: *Laura*
Date: 21 Nov 04 - 04:16 PM

When I had my orthodontic treatment a while back the doctor was called Dr Skinner, and the dentist - Miss Atack!!! Aargh!

And I could be English-Rose (angelic smile) :-)

Subject: RE: BS: Best(?) names
From: Micca
Date: 21 Nov 04 - 06:38 PM

The base Quartermaster in the British Army is always referred to as "Q" this was fine until Mike Cumbers was appointed He was then officially addressed as Q Cumbers,

Subject: RE: BS: Best(?) names
From: JennyO
Date: 22 Nov 04 - 05:29 AM

When our choir toured in 2001, we found a firm of solicitors in Sligo, called Argue and Phibbs. Got a photo somewhere of a couple of friends standing in front of it, but taken with an ordinary camera unfortunately, and I don't have a scanner - so this will have to do.

Also there is a dentist in Sydney that I have been to, called Dr Pang - ooh the pain!

I had a teacher in High School called Merry Chrismas (without the t).

Subject: RE: BS: Best(?) names
From: GUEST,Mingulay
Date: 22 Nov 04 - 07:05 AM

There's a builders firm in Finedon, Northamptonshire called R C Tann.

Subject: RE: BS: Best(?) names
From: mooman
Date: 22 Nov 04 - 07:24 AM

And the cobbler's in the King's Road, Chelsea, called R. Soles

Subject: RE: BS: Best(?) names
From: Gervase
Date: 22 Nov 04 - 07:28 AM

Sounds like the fun you can have with PA systems at big events. They've become wise to paging Mr Hugh Jarse and Mike Hut, but an friend caused uproar in an England/India test at Lord's by getting the PA chap to page a Mr Chodha Banchaud. The English didn't get it, but the Indians pissed themselves - as it translates as something like 'white motherf***er"!

Subject: RE: BS: Best(?) names
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 22 Nov 04 - 08:10 AM

Theres am undertakers in Hull called Boddy's.

Subject: RE: BS: Best(?) names
From: freda underhill
Date: 22 Nov 04 - 08:26 AM

Two doctors opened offices in a small town and put up a sign
reading "Dr. Smith and Dr. Jones, Psychiatry and Proctology."

The town council was not too happy with that sign, as there was another Dr Smoith and Dr Jones. So the good
doctors changed it to "Hysterias and Posteriors."

This was not acceptable either, so they changed the sign
to "Schizoids and Hemorrhoids."

No go, so they tried "Catatonics and High Colonics. Thumbs down
again, so they tried "Manic-depressives and Anal-retentives."

Still not good, so they tried "Minds and Behinds". Unacceptable
again, so they tried "Lost Souls and Arseholes." Still no go.

Nor did "Analysis and Anal Cysts", "Queers and Rears" "Nuts and
Butts", "Freaks and Cheeks" or "Loons and Moons" work either.

They finally settled on "Dr. Smith and Dr. Jones, Odds and Ends."

Subject: RE: BS: Best(?) names
From: *Laura*
Date: 22 Nov 04 - 04:16 PM

There was a teacher at my old school called Mrs Gail Gale.
And one called Mrs Strange.... who was slightly... erm....
dappy. :-p

Subject: RE: BS: Best(?) names
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 22 Nov 04 - 05:00 PM

In one of the Obrien sea-going novels about Aubrey and Maturin, they encounter a very fast, highly armed Spanish Warship called the Cacafuego, which translates to " shit-fire".

Subject: RE: BS: Best(?) names
From: freda underhill
Date: 22 Nov 04 - 05:04 PM

I had an old witch of a sewing teacher in primary school called Mrs Sharkey.

Subject: RE: BS: Best(?) names
From: GUEST,Elfcall
Date: 23 Nov 04 - 06:02 AM

I had a dentist in north London called Trevor Payne !!

Elf

Subject: RE: BS: Best(?) names
From: GUEST
Date: 23 Nov 04 - 09:56 AM

I had a school mate called Bowden Paine

Subject: RE: BS: Best(?) names
From: Nemesis
Date: 23 Nov 04 - 05:34 PM

America and Britain - one country divided by a language (quote something like that)

Buffy the Vampire Slayer - credits ''Thomas Wanker'' - cue UKer sniggers

Subject: RE: BS: Best(?) names
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 02 Nov 06 - 08:00 PM

On the way to JennyO's folk club last night I dropped my knitting & grabbed a pen & wrote down the name of the shop on my left before I forgot it.

The Stool Shop

Subject: RE: BS: Best(?) names
From: JennyO
Date: 02 Nov 06 - 09:18 PM

No shit!

Subject: RE: BS: Best(?) names
From: Peace
Date: 03 Nov 06 - 01:10 AM

A bar stool is what Daniel Boone stepped in. FYI.

Subject: RE: BS: Best(?) names
From: Becca72
Date: 03 Nov 06 - 08:43 AM

I have tons...
My Biology teacher in high school was William Blood. I had classmates called Chris Crangle, Andy Griffin, Jimmy Dean, Iva Head (all the boys called her "gimme"). We've had clients here at work called Barry Stem and a married couple whose last names are Beer and Grass....

Subject: RE: BS: Best(?) names
From: Scoville
Date: 03 Nov 06 - 09:38 AM

Was helping clean out duplicate psychiatry texts at our library and ran across psychiatrist/author Hyman Spotnitz, which sounds like an expendable Simpsons character if ever anyone did.

There's a weight-loss clinic near my house run by a Dr. Eaton.

Had a client at one of the vet clinics named Cinnamon Barley. I thought it was the dog's name but one of the technicians was an old friend of hers and confirmed that it was, in fact, the owner ("Barley" was her married name).

My mother went to graduate school with Sandy Beech and Sandy Rhodes.

Subject: RE: BS: Best(?) names
From: Uncle_DaveO
Date: 03 Nov 06 - 10:55 AM

In the Army, many years ago, I had a sergeant whose parents had bequeathed to him the family name "Faddis"   You can imagine, I suppose, what the troops under his care called him (behind his back, of course).

And by the way, it WAS descriptive!

Dave Oesterreich

Subject: RE: BS: Best(?) names
From: GUEST,C-flat
Date: 03 Nov 06 - 11:57 AM

My brother married twice. Both his brides had the same first and second name, which is odd enough, although funnier than that is they were called Beverly Hill.
As my brother is a policeman that made him Beverly Hills' Cop. One & Two!!!!!
One day he will here the last of it, but not yet!!

C-flat.

Subject: RE: BS: Best(?) names
From: catspaw49
Date: 03 Nov 06 - 12:37 PM

I know I've posted this one before but I went to school with a girl named Sharon Peters. I have no idea what her parents were thinking but a friend of mine's father quipped,   "What is that? A person or a kind of bathroom game?" Now what really makes that humorous is that when he said it we were in the 8th grade and that aspect of her name had never occurred to us.

We were so much more naive and innocent back then..........

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Best(?) names
From: terrier
Date: 03 Nov 06 - 07:37 PM

I remember passing a doctors surgery on my way to work, the name on the board outside was Dr.Spectre.....spooky eh!

I did meet Errol Flynn once, but not the famous one.

Subject: RE: BS: Best(?) names
From: Slag
Date: 04 Nov 06 - 12:16 AM

Dentist in Tulare CA in the 60's, Dr. Pullen
Doctor in Bakersfield CA, Dr. Doctor
Helen Bakke
Sandy Beach
"Spud" (nickname) Tate
And for just "different" sounding names I ran into in the USAF, Ditterlizzi and another fellow named Clapsaddle.

And Erle Stanley Gardener had a flare: Perry Mason, Della Street, Paul Drake, Hamilton Burger and Lt. Tragg. The transitory charachters in his novels also had clever names but none come to mind right now as it's been over 30 years since I read them. Ian Flemming waxed clever also.

Subject: RE: BS: Best(?) names
From: Gurney
Date: 04 Nov 06 - 11:24 PM

I had a teacher at primary school named Mrs. Daft. Dutch, I believe.
I met a magistrate named Crippen. He had a doctorate, but didn't use the title.

Subject: RE: BS: Best(?) names
From: GUEST,Adrianel
Date: 05 Nov 06 - 10:01 PM

My third grade teacher was Olive Branch.

Subject: RE: BS: Best(?) names
From: bobad
Date: 05 Nov 06 - 10:36 PM

I've known a Dr.D.Merrett and a Dr.D.Tector.

Subject: RE: BS: Best(?) names
From: JennieG
Date: 06 Nov 06 - 12:43 AM

There is a company in Sydney, whose business is fireplaces, called Amazing Grates

Cheers
JennieG (whose middle name is Grace - not Grates!)

Subject: RE: BS: Best(?) names
From: Doug Chadwick
Date: 06 Nov 06 - 02:11 AM

When I was an apprentice, there was a welding instructor called Mr. Burns.

I was at college with both Curry and Rice.

I used to work with an Eyes and a Ball. In fact, Mr Ball's name was Ian, so he signed his name as I. Ball

I work with someone whose wife was Good until she married him and became an Angel.


DC

Subject: RE: BS: Best(?) names
From: fat B****rd
Date: 06 Nov 06 - 03:17 AM

My mother told me her family doctor in Sunderland (c. 1915) was called Dr. Poisner.