BS: Products We Need

Subject: BS: Products We Need
From: wysiwyg
Date: 19 Apr 05 - 10:30 AM

Even before seeing the thread today about the condom-puttim-onnim machine, I was thinking, "What I need are t-shirts and sweats in orange-tabby color, so the cat hair doesn't show quite so much." What color would YOU want-- Russian Blue, Tortoiseshell....?

This follows on a past idea-- toddler and baby t-shirts in common food/dirt colors such as Babysh*t Yellow, Urpy Print, Camo Mudpie, Camo Grasstain, Pureed Squash, Spaghetti Sauce...

Or "Va-VOOM!" laxative?

What else do we really need, to make YOUR world work better?

How about the "just about to break" string indicator? The "offpitch-singing" vibrating alarm? The "Bodhran Lurking" alarm?

~Susan

Subject: RE: BS: Products We Need
From: gnu
Date: 19 Apr 05 - 10:49 AM

I need a "Bodhran Lurking" alarm jammer.

Subject: RE: BS: Products We Need
From: LilyFestre
Date: 19 Apr 05 - 10:54 AM

Personally, I would like to have a remote with a "Mute" button for those who I have had enough of, for example:

It would be great for:

Mother-in-laws who follow you around the house yapping away incessantly about nothing!

Bullshitters...how much of this do we REALLY have to hear?

Barking dogs

Crowing roosters (damn sun has been up for HOURS and he is STILL crowing!)

Chronic liars

Those who are full of themselves

And hey, for myself, a mute for my husband when I am learning a new fiddle tune (poor man....poor, poor man!!!!!)

While we are talking about gadgets we can use, how about something that goes around the yard and picks up all the brush that you have cut and stacks it neatly in the garbage or back field?

Radar for intruding hunters on your land (yeah...signs and fences apparently mean nothing in this area)

A giant zapper gun to use on folks who throw trash out their car windows.

Oh my, I could go on and on but I have work to do....how about a product to take care of THAT? Hmmm?

LF

Subject: RE: BS: Products We Need
From: wysiwyg
Date: 19 Apr 05 - 10:57 AM

While we are talking about gadgets we can use, how about something that goes around the yard and picks up all the brush that you have cut and stacks it neatly in the garbage or back field?

Yeah, how come I can never put my hand on the flamethrower when I need it? :~)

... a "Mute" button for those who I have had enough of...

Yeah, how come I can never put my hand on the flamethrower when I need it? :~)

"Va-VOOM!" laxative

Yeah, how come I can never put my hand on the flamethrower when I need it? :~)

~Susan

Subject: RE: BS: Products We Need
From: Sorcha
Date: 19 Apr 05 - 10:58 AM

A string winder for a fiddle
A magnet that picks up broken glass, one for goat-heads too.
A silent super vacum cleaner

Subject: RE: BS: Products We Need
From: wysiwyg
Date: 19 Apr 05 - 10:59 AM

Goat heads?

?????

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: Products We Need
From: LilyFestre
Date: 19 Apr 05 - 11:13 AM

You know how they have fish finders? I would like a fiddle head finder please!!!!!!!!!!!!!


LF

Subject: RE: BS: Products We Need
From: Sorcha
Date: 19 Apr 05 - 11:22 AM

Goatheads

Subject: RE: BS: Products We Need
From: Bill D
Date: 19 Apr 05 - 11:32 AM

I need the DWIM key for my computer.

Subject: RE: BS: Products We Need
From: wysiwyg
Date: 19 Apr 05 - 12:37 PM

DWIM?

Goatheads, ouch!

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: Products We Need
From: Amos
Date: 19 Apr 05 - 03:01 PM

Perhaps "Do What I Meant" (not what I told you to do).


A

Subject: RE: BS: Products We Need
From: Bill D
Date: 19 Apr 05 - 04:58 PM

yup...

Subject: RE: BS: Products We Need
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 19 Apr 05 - 05:01 PM

mmmmm interesting...We need love!!!!! Produced by like thinking people....

Subject: RE: BS: Products We Need
From: wysiwyg
Date: 19 Apr 05 - 05:59 PM

What if we had a translation gizmo that could ensure that what we say and do always results in the manifestation of what we intended by our by our speech and actions?

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: Products We Need
From: Bill D
Date: 19 Apr 05 - 09:20 PM

oh, my, Susan! You do want to change the entire course of history,don't you? What, for example, would Congress do without the ability to "revise & extend" their remarks?

You...and perhaps *I*, might like to have our thoughts and deeds clearly understood....but we 'may' be in the minority. *grin*

Subject: RE: BS: Products We Need
From: wysiwyg
Date: 20 Apr 05 - 09:38 AM

Well... it's a product that one would use voluntarily-- I guess to work it would require the sender and the recipient to be wearing it.

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: Products We Need
From: John Hardly
Date: 20 Apr 05 - 10:00 AM

That's great! A decievable deception-proof device.

I'm not lazy but I'd like to have a device that, when I want to clean the house, passes everything that needs dusting or polishing past my chair at arm-rest level so that I need only reach out just a wee bit to accomplish the task.

We've got self-cleaning ovens -- I'd like self-digging holes and self-painting houses and self washing and waxing cars.

A car that would levitate over traffic jams.

And while I'm at it -- a device that would change traffic signals to green as I approach them.

...and a rocket launcher with stupid-idiot-seeking missles that is horn activated.

a remote tenor banjo mute.

...and a fiddler de-arrogantizer.

Subject: RE: BS: Products We Need
From: RangerSteve
Date: 20 Apr 05 - 04:18 PM

Something like what John Hardly mentioned above - a device that lets you know that the fiddle player in a jam session is incredibly full of himself and must lead the session and must be the star, so you can pass him by.

Subject: RE: BS: Products We Need
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 20 Apr 05 - 04:47 PM

I'd like a device that keeps all the cables straight and knot free, to foil the best efforts of the Cable Pixie who will get into your bag or drawer or closet and tangle up all the cables you have there. You know what I mean... those Christmas lights that you remember CAREFULLY winding round the sprockety thing, and putting into their own individual sockets.... the headphones you carefully stowed away with the cord in a loop.... all of them come out of the box or bag in a knot.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Products We Need
From: GUEST,harvey andrews
Date: 20 Apr 05 - 05:07 PM

A beam me down Scotty machine to get me to gigs from my living room and a beam me up Scotty machine to return me back home.

Subject: RE: BS: Products We Need
From: Sorcha
Date: 20 Apr 05 - 05:21 PM

A Scotty machine for getting me anywhere!

Subject: RE: BS: Products We Need
From: wysiwyg
Date: 25 May 05 - 05:08 PM

The Life Suckomatic.

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: Products We Need
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 25 May 05 - 07:02 PM

Comfortable, flexible, thin,hard wearing, shock absobing, reasonably grippy, tradiditional looking dance shoes!

Subject: RE: BS: Products We Need
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 25 May 05 - 07:59 PM

"a device that would change traffic signals to green as I approach them"

That device exists. It's called a strobe light. Ambulances and fire trucks have them where I live. I'm not sure about police cars. I suppose it's illegal for us ordinary mortals to have them--otherwise everyone would.

Subject: RE: BS: Products We Need
From: mg
Date: 25 May 05 - 08:44 PM

A locker that you put your clothes in and it steams them .

Subject: RE: BS: Products We Need
From: GUEST
Date: 25 May 05 - 08:47 PM

an inflatable George W Bush anal sex doll...so we can fuck him like he has been fucking the world

Subject: RE: BS: Products We Need
From: wysiwyg
Date: 25 May 05 - 10:01 PM

Guest, you win!

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: Products We Need
From: GUEST,leeneia
Date: 26 May 05 - 08:48 AM

Serious suggestion: a stove (cooker) top that comes in sections small enough to pop into the dishwasher.

Subject: RE: BS: Products We Need
From: Roger the Skiffler
Date: 26 May 05 - 09:41 AM

A microphone that would transpose my vocal output into the right key (and one that would fill in the lyric gaps when my memory fails- I suppose that's what karaoke is for!). I know the big studios have a similar gizmo built into mixer decks for boy bands...
And I'd probably need a full body transplant as well to make me fit for public appearances!

RtS
(face made for radio, voice made for mime)

Subject: RE: BS: Products We Need
From: Bill D
Date: 26 May 05 - 07:39 PM

readily available socks with no seam across the toe!

Subject: RE: BS: Products We Need
From: wysiwyg
Date: 26 May 05 - 08:03 PM

Spray-ons?

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: Products We Need
From: Bill D
Date: 27 May 05 - 12:11 AM

LOLOL...yeah, right! Cotton flocking on my toes. Then comes the question about showering and sweating....hmmmppfff..

Subject: RE: BS: Products We Need
From: Wilfried Schaum
Date: 27 May 05 - 07:53 AM

When I worked in a foundry making moulds all colleagues voted unanimously for the most needed three tools:
1) the make it thicker rasp
2) the make it longer saw
3) the bronze lodestone

Subject: RE: BS: Products We Need
From: wysiwyg
Date: 27 May 05 - 09:09 AM

WS, I could use a few of those type items in my kitchen-- the burn it less pan, etc.!

Bill, go ahead and get some Christmas flocking spray (the kind with sparkles). By the time you REALLY need to change to fresh "socks," we can figure out a deflockulator of some kind. I know a FEW folks who need one of THOSE! :~)

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: Products We Need
From: Bill D
Date: 27 May 05 - 05:38 PM

it'd be just my luck that the only "deflockulator" that would work would be one of Wilfried's tools....and there I'd be with very long toes!

Subject: RE: BS: Products We Need
From: Don(Wyziwyg)T
Date: 27 May 05 - 09:10 PM

I want a remote "blipper" which will do three things:-

1. Detonate the source computers of spam E-Mails, at the touch of a button.

2. Ditto the telephones of double glazing, and insurance, salesmen, who invariably call as I am either eating the first mouthful of a particularly good meal, or watching a particularly good TV program.

3. Detonate every mobile that rings because its terminally stupid owner does not know enough to turn it off at a folk session, at least while people are performing.

But of course someone would then get a counter zapper to detonate me. Ah well!

At least I have this wonderful mental image of hundreds of busy little spammers appearing briefly high above their workplaces, then returning to earth singed and blackened. Houston, we have several problems. Scramble the F16s!

Don T.