BS: Cri de Coeur - save me from myself

Subject: BS: Cri de Coeur - save me from myself
From: Morticia
Date: 24 Sep 05 - 05:16 PM

I gave up smoking back in January, we are now in September and, for some unknown reason, I am craving just as badly now as I was back in the beginning........having got the craving down to negligible for months.This new and unpleasant phase has been in place for over a week now. Anyone else experienced this, how long is it likely to last, am I justified in feeling really hacked off that I am back to square one again?

Subject: RE: BS: Cri de Coeur - save me from myself
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 24 Sep 05 - 05:44 PM

You haven't picked up a cigarette yet have you? So you're not at square one again.... it will pass, take care.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Cri de Coeur - save me from myself
From: Linda Kelly
Date: 24 Sep 05 - 05:55 PM

you need replacement therapy -when you hear those words in your head 'I need a cigarette' replace the word cigarette with 'bar of galaxy' or 'an afternoon of rampant sex' or ' a new dress from Next'. You will need to rotate these, otherwise too many bars of chocolate will mean you won't get into the dress from Next unless you burn off the calories with the rampant............

Subject: RE: BS: Cri de Coeur - save me from myself
From: Tannywheeler
Date: 24 Sep 05 - 06:02 PM

Yeah--what Linda said.               Tw

Subject: RE: BS: Cri de Coeur - save me from myself
From: Helen
Date: 24 Sep 05 - 06:27 PM

Hi Morty,

Here is a site in Oz for an organisation called Quitline

If you were in Oz you could phone them for advice or just to help to motivate yourself to stick with the plan.

But on the website there is a downloadable programme called the Will Power dude. There are also some links and the one called The Quit Coach which also may be helpful. These are government sponsored sites so there should be no problems with privacy etc.

I am not a smoker but a friend of ours is going through the process now. He has been off them for about a month and seems to be sticking to it, but he is using the patches called Nicabate which are supposed to help with the cravings.

Also the cigarettes provide Vitamin B through the nicotine so taking vitamin supplements may help. It might be a craving for Vit B. The Oz answer to that is .....ta da! ....Vegemite.

Stick to it! We're all here to help you keep motivated.

Helen

Subject: RE: BS: Cri de Coeur - save me from myself
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 24 Sep 05 - 06:34 PM

You could always try snuff.

Subject: RE: BS: Cri de Coeur - save me from myself
From: Donuel
Date: 24 Sep 05 - 06:39 PM

Freudian advice:

The subconsious psychological stress of this time of year related to early smoking habits could be the cause.

Find peace with the age old personal stress (school) or tradgedy (loss) associated with this time of year and you will have it licked like a cellophane wrapped cigar.


Tough love advice:

If you smoke even one I'm going to put a safety pin through your upper and lower lips.


Scientology advice:

Pay me $30,000 first.


Hypnosis advice:

Youaregettingstupidverystupid.

Subject: RE: BS: Cri de Coeur - save me from myself
From: Ebbie
Date: 24 Sep 05 - 07:55 PM

Hang out with some heavy smokers and their overflowing ashtraps. Trust me - you WILL remember why you quit.

Subject: RE: BS: Cri de Coeur - save me from myself
From: Ebbie
Date: 24 Sep 05 - 07:57 PM

ahtraYs

Between my bifocals and my cat sitting in front of the screen...

Subject: RE: BS: Cri de Coeur - save me from myself
From: jimmyt
Date: 24 Sep 05 - 08:22 PM

MOrti I quit from 2 1/2 packs a day in 1974 and still from time to time I have a craving. Just hang in there girl. You will make it. If you backslide just say the hell with it, and stop again   DOn't smoke of you can possibly avoid it, but if you do once, don't assume you have lost the war. Just say, " no more" and begin your abstinance again. I would avoid coffee and tea for a while until the cravings stop jimmyt

Subject: RE: BS: Cri de Coeur - save me from myself
From: Bobert
Date: 24 Sep 05 - 10:31 PM

yo, Morty...

Not to fear... I got the cure...

You will nedd only 3 things and I promise you that this will pass. Here are the 3 things you will need:

1. A heavy ball peen hammer...

2. An anvil...

3. Yer danged private parts...

PM me fir the rest of the instructions....

This gonna work...

Did fir me an' it's been 20 years now and it's still workin'' fine...

Bobert

Subject: RE: BS: Cri de Coeur - save me from myself
From: Dani
Date: 24 Sep 05 - 10:43 PM

See the other quittin' posts, there's lots of great help there.

AND you are most definitely NOT at square one, sweetie.

BUT, addiction is addiction is addiction.

It is still hard for me to not smoke, over 10 years since I quit. Many months ago, not in control of all my faculties, I tried a cigarette. I was hoping against hope that it would taste awful and make me sick. It didn't, and I have to watch carefully that I don't do it again.

But stick to it, my friend. It's worth it, you know it is. I'd give almost anything if the people I love who still smoke would quit. If they only knew HOW MUCH I would give.....

PM, call, write, email if you need to. Don't pick up a cigarette.

Dani

Subject: RE: BS: Cri de Coeur - save me from myself
From: Gurney
Date: 24 Sep 05 - 11:00 PM

If you get a nagging pain in your chest, it seemed to work for me, 25 years ago.

Helen, I tried vegemite, but it is very hard to light up.

Subject: RE: BS: Cri de Coeur - save me from myself
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 24 Sep 05 - 11:20 PM

Think about the other ways that people quit smoking--you've done it your way, and you can work past this. My mother had to quit cold turkey after she was scheduled for surgery to replace the major artery from her abdomen into each leg with dacron arteries. She had Burger's Disease, a disease found ONLY in smokers. She was in denial all of her life, and never named the disease. I discovered it later when a friend came down with the same thing. He's in a wheelchair now.

Work through the tough patch, and enjoy your returning health!

SRS

Subject: RE: BS: Cri de Coeur - save me from myself
From: yrlancslad
Date: 25 Sep 05 - 03:19 AM

Hey Lovie I quit some 30 years ago after smoking since I was 11 years old, in the end was smoking 80 a day, sometimes more. Reasons to quit? I married a new wife and waking up weazing in the morning is not romantic, neither is kissing an ashtray.
Sure it takes some time to get over it, 12 months after I quit I was still patting my pockets before I went out checing that I had ciggies and lighter, it was worse than getting divorced, filling many of the social aids ,that a wife does helping define who you are etc. But bear up, it doesn't last forever, and although you may not realize it as it's happening your health improves amazingly.Coming from a short-lived family and not expecting to make it past 50 myself I'm now a healthy 68-year old and expecting to live to 100. And I never wanted a cigarette after the first couple of years although I was addicted and know that if I smoked one today I would be on 10 a day by the end of the week and would end up a 60-80 a day man.So hang in love, it won't last and you'll love not being dependant on big tobacco or their filth sticks.

Subject: RE: BS: Cri de Coeur - save me from myself
From: GUEST,GS in sunny Devon
Date: 25 Sep 05 - 03:50 AM

My Mum smoked for years but gave up about 12 years ago. Last November she was diagnosed with lung cancer and we lost her six weeks ago. Had she carried on smoking we would probably have lost her long before. If that is not reason enough to give up smoking or to stay off it then what is? Stick out the craving....fight it with all your will...you have done so far.....well done and keep it up!.Best wishes, Mike.

Subject: RE: BS: Cri de Coeur - save me from myself
From: Hrothgar
Date: 25 Sep 05 - 04:34 AM

What is it that still works after that hammer, Bobert?

Subject: RE: BS: Cri de Coeur - save me from myself
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 25 Sep 05 - 04:35 AM

I don't know whether this will encourage or discourage you but, I will never speak to you again if you light up another cigarette!
Giok

Subject: RE: BS: Cri de Coeur - save me from myself
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 25 Sep 05 - 04:51 AM

The physical addiction is long gone. What you have is habituity.

This is not a snipe, but an attempt to start looking for cause and suggest practical help. I'm an ex-smoker - gave up several times but now it has been many years (although first there were three years off and another time there were seven years off). But now I don't like the smell too close any more, and a few years ago I did try one and it tasted horrid. So I think I really am ex.

With me the weak moment was (always) the pub or party, the beer or so, the proximity of the other sex, the harkback to my tees when lurking dangerously with a cigarete or cheroot was an attractive image of the slightly dark side. What's yours? Is it the dummy that you suck when in noeed of comfort or stress relief? That is frequent.

Once you realise what symbology is driving you, it is easier to manage the habit.

Habit management can be assisted by inserting a monitoring process. You might carry a notebook, and write down each time you successfully decide NOT to have a cigarette despite identifying that you want one. Or (commonly) wear an elastic band round a wrist and "ping" it to create a minor pain when you realise you want a cigarette. Or put 20p into a purse each time you successfully decide NOT to have a cigarette despite identifying that you want one, and plan how you are going to spend the money when it reaches a threshold.

You could try strongly flavoured sweets - Fisherman's friends, Vocalzones, Strepsils, etc with or without breathing exercises - specifically as a substitute for each cigarette you want.

Do also remember those smoking has killed - like Jacqui Walker, my late wife (see thread, Jacqui Walker, Obit) and think particularly of the years of decline in her singing voice (we used to have to change the keys of songs according to the state of her latest throat/lung infection) the years of gradually declining ability to walk anywhere (or climb stairs) as smoker's bronchitus ("chronny bron") led to late onset asthma, that became (the irreversible) chronic obstructive pulmonary disease ("COPD") that became emphysema and the looming threats (before which she died, but which I saw in her stepfather) of being so short of breath as to be unable to wash her own hair because there was no strength to hold arms above head, and the period of simply sitting in a chair literally unable to move wheezing into an oxygen mask.

Be motivated!

Subject: RE: BS: Cri de Coeur - save me from myself
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 25 Sep 05 - 05:26 AM

You have to roll up the Vegemite inside a piece of dry bread or toast, or else it can't be lit easily.

Trust Me! I'ma a Fool!

Subject: RE: BS: Cri de Coeur - save me from myself
From: MBSLynne
Date: 25 Sep 05 - 05:43 AM

Well as a lifelong non-smoker, I guess I can't fully understand the addiction, but what I wanted to say was...bloody hell Morti!!! You've done brilliantly well for all these months! I've noticed and commented on it cos I knew you were trying hard over a year ago. WELL DONE!!!!! This is a minor hiccup, and as everyone else has said...you are definitely a long way further on the road than back to square one! Keep it up girl! As Charlie Brown said to Linus when he was getting a splinter out of his finger...Just pretend you are being tortured for the secret and you aren't going to tell!!!

Love Lynne

Subject: RE: BS: Cri de Coeur - save me from myself
From: John O'L
Date: 25 Sep 05 - 07:36 AM

I gave up in early June. I did the recommended 10 weeks on the patches easy-peasy, and had no problems getting off them, but in the last 2 weeks I've been driven almost crazy by the cravings. I haven't been able to think about anything else.

Last Friday I bought another packet of patches, (the weakest ones), and I've been OK again since then. I'm thinking I'll wear them this week and if I still get cravings after that, (bad cravings I mean - not just the twinges that go with finishing a job or walking into a bar), I'll try half patches and wean myself off them slowly.

I don't know why it's suddenly come back so strong, for you or for me, but that's how I'm dealing with it. If that's no good for you I hope you find a way.
Not buying a packet of cigarettes last week was one of the hardest things I've ever done.

Good luck,
John

Subject: RE: BS: Cri de Coeur - save me from myself
From: jacqui.c
Date: 25 Sep 05 - 08:03 AM

Keep going Terri - you've done so well so far.

I can't really give any more advice - I stopped in 1983 and had such severe withdrawal pains that I would never go back, no matter how bad the craving. Guess I was just lucky there.

We would love to see you over here - start saving the cash you would have spent on fags, buy a plane ticket and come visit.

Subject: RE: BS: Cri de Coeur - save me from myself
From: Catherine Jayne
Date: 25 Sep 05 - 08:25 AM

Terri you have done really well. I just wish I had the perserverance and self discipline that you have shown. Hang in there you'll be fine. I must admit that I like Linda's idea's of a new dress from Next and rampant sex, although I would trade the bar of Galaxy for a bar of Green and Blacks!! *G*

We're all really proud of how far you have come.

Keep up the good work

Love Aunty Khatt *G*

Subject: RE: BS: Cri de Coeur - save me from myself
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 25 Sep 05 - 11:10 AM

Come and visit my Mum-in-law in hospital suffering the last and terminal stages of emphasema:-( That'll do the trick.

Alternatively, and on a more cheerful note, you could try what I do as a 15 year non-smoker. When I get the occasional craving I tell myself I WILL start again. Right after Christmas. Oh, sorry, no then it's New Year isn't it. Them My Birthday. Then Easter. Then Holidays. Oh, bugger it. Better wait till next year...

Remember the excuses to used to use to put off the dreaded day? Use 'em again to better effect:-)

Cheers

DtG

Subject: RE: BS: Cri de Coeur - save me from myself
From: Gurney
Date: 26 Sep 05 - 05:50 AM

Cancer is the scare that most people quote, but a lovely lady that we knew -lifelong smoker- died eventually with complications from Emphysema. For two years her life had no quality that I could discern. She couldn't walk down her hall without a 'rest' halfway, wouldn't sit down because getting up nearly killed her, was on Oxygen most of the time, couldn't even have a shower without help because of the effort.

Emphysema has the effect of reducing lung capacity, not in size -her chest got bigger- but in capacity. Imagine living your life as if you had just finished a long foot-race.

Subject: RE: BS: Cri de Coeur - save me from myself
From: Gervase
Date: 26 Sep 05 - 06:40 AM

Stick with it, lass - you've got far better willpower than me, and I want you to be able to shame me into giving up properly at the next MBS reunion.
If the cravings get too bad, imagine a major bollocking from Chris Gorniak dressed in his Alistair Sim finery on Wimmin's Night. That'll have you wheezing with laughter and you won't be able to light up!

Subject: RE: BS: Cri de Coeur - save me from myself
From: Morticia
Date: 26 Sep 05 - 08:05 AM

thanks for all the support and encouragment.......I'm hanging on in there but the cravings are showing no signs of abating thus far and I'm feeling very hard done by about it.I may have to look to NRT although since I know the craving can't be physiological any more, I'm really reluctant to put nicotine back into my system.

Subject: RE: BS: Cri de Coeur - save me from myself
From: Allan C.
Date: 26 Sep 05 - 08:16 AM

You've seen first hand how expert I am a quitting (ha!) and so I won't offer any advice. I do think, though, that Linda Kelly's recommendations are excellent. I also echo those who have said that you are far from having lost the war and that the war continues for a long, long time - sorry to say.

Personally, I am extremely proud of you that you have abstained for so long. You really are quite strong, you know.

Subject: RE: BS: Cri de Coeur - save me from myself
From: Dave Earl
Date: 26 Sep 05 - 11:06 AM

Terri,

I am under increasing pressure from herself to quit.

If I should manage to give it up I may be looking to you for support.

Don't give in you may find others like this poor old soul need your help.

Dave

Subject: RE: BS: Cri de Coeur - save me from myself
From: Ebbie
Date: 26 Sep 05 - 12:02 PM

Some months after I had quit smoking I got a real case of the fidgets. Didn't know what to do with my hands, couldn't sit for any length of time, just got out of sorts with the world generally.

A friend brought me a pack of non-tobacco smokes. They were made out of corn husks or cabbage or citrus something or other. I clutched them as though they were a lifesaver.

I quickly found

#1: They were non-addictive
#2: They gave me something to draw into my lungs
#3: They tasted somewhere between nothing and awful

It was a turn around for me. I realized that I had actually quit smoking and that there was no point in debating it any longer. I decided the only thing I COULD do about it was to stop dwelling on my deprivation.

That was more than 27 years ago. I have had dreams from time to time over the years that I had lit up- I remember one dream where I told myself bemusedly, I was thinking that I had quit.

Subject: RE: BS: Cri de Coeur - save me from myself
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 26 Sep 05 - 03:30 PM

I suggest that non-tobacco smokes are likely to be a high risk strategy in that what you are fighting is the habit and if you return to the habit albeit without tobacco you risk reinforcing it.

Subject: RE: BS: Cri de Coeur - save me from myself
From: Ebbie
Date: 26 Sep 05 - 04:04 PM

That's now how it worked for me, Richard. For a couple of days it did serve the purpose because it addressed my need for hand-eye-mouth coordination. I think the reason that it is not a long term risk is that the brain and taste buds and the pulse clearly identify it as non tobacco and reject the whole notion.

It's a given that drawing smoke and heated air into the lungs is not good for them. Even a campfire lets you know that. I doubt very much however that a few days of doing it increased the damage incurred in 25 years of tobacco smoking.

(Once after I was well quit of the habit I was eating a late night breakfast after a date. We were chatting comfortably until he looked askance at my stubbing my toast crust repeatedly into the ashtray.)

Subject: RE: BS: Cri de Coeur - save me from myself
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 26 Sep 05 - 06:45 PM

I knew a guy who used this technique for quitting smoking: He filled a glass jar with cigarette butts and ashes—the contents of several ashtrays—and covered it with a lid. Whenever he had the urge to smoke, he would take off the lid, stick his nose in, and take a big whiff.

You could call it aversion therapy, I guess.

I think it worked, although I lost touch with him soon after that.

Subject: RE: BS: Cri de Coeur - save me from myself
From: Ebbie
Date: 26 Sep 05 - 06:47 PM

He probably died, Jim. *G*

Subject: RE: BS: Cri de Coeur - save me from myself
From: nutty
Date: 26 Sep 05 - 07:46 PM

It's over 4 years for me now and there are still times when I could kill for a cigarette. Old habits really do die hard.

I went through something similar to you after about 4 months. I weakened on the first Mudcat Yorkshire gathering and cadged a cigarette. I kept it till bedtime so I could smoke it in my camper and no one would know. My brain was telling me that I was missing a really nice relaxing experience .... it lied.
I only managed less than half of the cigarette before throwing it away...it tasted so disgusting. Because I had smoked it in an enclosed space I kept waking for the rest of the night to this disgusting smell which I couldn't get rid of. I can still smell it know.

I still get the cravings but they quickly go away because I know that my brain is not telling me the truth.
Cigarettes really are horrible.

Stick with it Morti .... be proud of what you have achieved so far. Just keep telling yourself that your brain is lying.

Subject: RE: BS: Cri de Coeur - save me from myself
From: GUEST,Smokey
Date: 26 Sep 05 - 09:37 PM

Hey there Mort. How are you doing? Hope you are staying off the coffin nails. Me, not so good. Feel like I got finger way down my throat. Wake up coughing in my sleep - when I can sleep more than a few hours in a row. Gotta wash the wall by the bed some mornings. Of course, washing the wall is a chore because it's hard to catch your breath after all that getting up out of bed exercise.

Anyway, if it's really getting to you, don't fight it. Have a smoke. Hell, anyone can quit. But it takes real guts to face cancer. Hey, we are all going to die, so, have a smoke and, at least, you will know when and why... too soon and too stupid.

Ahhgghhhhhhheeeemmmmmmmmwwwwhhhheeeeeeezzzzz... spit.

Subject: RE: BS: Cri de Coeur - save me from myself
From: GUEST,Dani
Date: 26 Sep 05 - 09:56 PM

Hey, I forgot all about the health part. Can't believe I take it for granted.

You know, when I smoked (15 years of several packs of Marlboros a day) I coughed, sneezed, blew my nose ALL the time. How attractive! I thought EVERYONE coughed that shit up and spit or swallowed just like me.

Those days are so far gone, I dare imagine that my lungs are pink and healthy. Maybe?

I do know that rather than being out of breath walking up the stairs, or too winded to carry my babies very far, I can now challenge my teenage daughter to a run.... and win! They stood by and cheered when I ran my second 5K this summer. They are proud of me, and I am proud of myself. I am fit (mostly ; ) , and strong, and healthy.

If I were still smoking I'd be weary, smelly, and discouraged. Or on my way to dead. Ask me about my mother's last days this time last year.

It is NOT EASY, honey. And it's different for everyone (as you can see by the posts) but it's absolutely worth it. And you are NOT ALONE.

Dani

Subject: RE: BS: Cri de Coeur - save me from myself
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 27 Sep 05 - 04:52 AM

Well Morti dear look at it from the other person view point and just think how you must smell to non smokers when you indulge in the weed. Don't care how much perfume deodorant or other gunk you cover yourself in, you still stink. I went out with a girl who was a smoker only once since I quit, and it was like kissing an ashtray, never again!
Giok

Subject: RE: BS: Cri de Coeur - save me from myself
From: Morticia
Date: 27 Sep 05 - 05:35 AM

Subject: RE: BS: Cri de Coeur - save me from myself
From: Morticia
Date: 27 Sep 05 - 05:40 AM

whoops, premature button pushing!!

Crisis over, I think......Helen and John, I don't know which it was but thanks.On your advice I went and bought some vitamin B and some nicotine gum........the vitamin B I took, the gum I didn't. Whether it was psychological and having the gum here was all that was necessary or whether it was the vitamins, I don't know or really care( well, only inasmuch as someone else may use this thread for help one day and you've all been terrific, thank you!)but it seems to have worked...those appalling cravings are gone and my feet are once again set upon the path of rightousness.....I thank you, my lungs thank you and my family thank you.......

Subject: RE: BS: Cri de Coeur - save me from myself
From: jacqui.c
Date: 27 Sep 05 - 08:10 AM

That's really good news!

Subject: RE: BS: Cri de Coeur - save me from myself
From: John O'L
Date: 27 Sep 05 - 09:02 AM

That is good news.

Tomorrow I'll get some vitamin B and see if I can do without the patches. Thank you.

Subject: RE: BS: Cri de Coeur - save me from myself
From: Gervase
Date: 27 Sep 05 - 09:35 AM

Apropos vitamin B, my Auusie mates swear by Berrocca (sp?) for hangovers - it's a high-dose Vitamin B tablet that you dissolve in a glass of water. Made by Roche, the makers of Redoxon. it comes in an orange tube and has a yucky orange flavour, but it works wonders the morning after the pig shat in your head.

Subject: RE: BS: Cri de Coeur - save me from myself
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 27 Sep 05 - 02:03 PM

I once saw this cartoon in The New Yorker. The scene is a doctor's waiting room. The sign on the door says "Dr. Kevorkian." Another sign on the wall says, "Go ahead and smoke. What the heck."

Subject: RE: BS: Cri de Coeur - save me from myself
From: Dave Earl
Date: 29 Sep 05 - 04:03 AM

Report on how far I have got.

1. Not allowed by herself to smoke in the house.

2. Not allowed to smoke in the building at work.

3. Won't allow myself to smoke in other peoples car/house.

Result one packet of fags lasts a day and half instead of three quarters of a day.

Does this mean I'm halfway there?

Dave Earl

Subject: RE: BS: Cri de Coeur - save me from myself
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 29 Sep 05 - 06:20 AM

Good luck Dave, but sadly complete abstinence is the only sure cure, as long as you have the nicotine in your bloodstream you will never lose the craving.
Giok

Subject: RE: BS: Cri de Coeur - save me from myself
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 29 Sep 05 - 06:24 AM

Breton - cutting back is better than nothing at all.. and cold turkey is a bummer if you're trying to work at all sensibly. Try ekeing the packet out to two days, then two and a half.... then three... and put the extra money in a beer fund!

Good luck!

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Cri de Coeur - save me from myself
From: Morticia
Date: 29 Sep 05 - 07:59 AM

'fraid one packet of fags has to last forever, mate.....

Subject: RE: BS: Cri de Coeur - save me from myself
From: GUEST,leeneia
Date: 29 Sep 05 - 11:02 AM

I'm happy for you, Morticia. Glad to hear you got through it.

In case others are looking for help, I would like to pass on my brother's observation. He smoked for years, then quit. He says that focusing on the benefits helped him more than thinking about the dangers. For example, after a only a few days, he could taste food. (Before then, food was mostly a tasteless mass.) And soon he felt better and stronger.

For those of us who have a natural tendency to resist authority, consider this. Sometime in the 1970's, cigarette manufacturers changed the chemistry of cigarettes by doing something to them so that smokers began to free-base the nicotine. Don't ask me what this means exactly. I do know that it means that it makes nicotine addiction much harder to kick. So if you are the type that really, really resents some self-appointed jerk's attempts to control you, then get mad about the free-basing and fight them off.

Sometimes I think they've done the same thing with potato chips (crisps) :)