Review: Worst Song by a professional musician

Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: Max Johnson
Date: 24 Jun 11 - 01:18 PM

From: Mark H. - PM
"Every Breath You Take" by the execrable Sting. Dull, plodding, cliched chords, words that are puerile and unpleasant without any redeeming menace. Utter drivel.

I think this song was basically ripped from Gene Pitney's 'Every Little Breath I Take', which is a great song.

Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: GUEST
Date: 24 Jun 11 - 11:16 AM

I think "you're beautiful" is a terrible song. How many times does the guy have to say it? It just goes on and on.

Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: Amos
Date: 24 Jun 11 - 10:53 AM

Having My Baby, without a doubt.

Personally, I think Candle in the Wind, and Hotel California, are not as bad as all that--they each represent a poetic effort, not sophisticated, not musically refined, but simple and heart-felt, none the less. Hotel California's imagery is evocative, and the clinch line "check out any time you want, but you can never leave" is a rough gem.


A

Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: GUEST,Steamin' Willie
Date: 24 Jun 11 - 09:10 AM

Had Radio 2 on in the car yesterday. Either Chris Evans (whilst driving to Leeds) or Steve Wright (driving home again) played a song by Clifford T Ward.

Can't remember much about him other than he had long hair and sideburns. The song though..... Caught myself listening to the contrived lyrics (which matched the contrived melody line) and ended up laughing at it.

Sorry I can't remember what the song was called, even if the presenter bothered saying it....

Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: GUEST,Desi C
Date: 24 Jun 11 - 08:35 AM

At the risk of offending millions, here goes

For me it's Hotel California by The Eagles. For me it signalled the end of old time country and began crossover Pap, It's the most over done moronic whine of a song, I'm sick to death of hearing it around the clubs, not least because everyone does it the same boring old way and no one even tries to do something a little different with it. It's serious music's version of the chicken song and should be put on the same bonfire of dross forthwith (duck)

Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 24 Jun 11 - 01:27 AM

How about "Goodbye England's Rose"? Was Elton John such a lazy sot at that point in his life that he couldn't avoid plagiarizing himself to come up with a tribute for Diana? I know he didn't have a lot of time, but to take this song which was a fairly moving tribute to Marilyn Monroe and dress it up in new lyrics appropriate for the occasion of Diana's funeral has always struck me as being at the least in very bad taste.

Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: GUEST
Date: 23 Jun 11 - 11:56 PM

baby by justin beiberi know it's the obvious choice but it's so bad, though he may not be considered a musician... or a he

Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: GUEST,DonMeixner
Date: 25 Aug 07 - 09:39 AM

How many of these are songs we have just heard to the point of exhaustion and how many are bad recordings of good songs by otherwise talented people. And how many, like The Voyage and The Old Man, are horrific from the get go?


Ducking for cover now.

Don

Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: GUEST,LouisianaGrey
Date: 25 Aug 07 - 07:40 AM

Almost anything by Elton john,, but I'd single out "Your Song" (although it does deserve a prize for maximum use of the word "quite" in a pop song) and "Candle in the Wind" - maudlin, sentimental garbage, made even worse by the Princess Diana fiasco.

And while we're on the subject of garbage, how about John Lennon's "Imagine"? As stirring a collection of mindless cliches to match any on the planet. Try telling the starving poor and dispossessed of somewhere like Darfur to "imagine no possessions". That's a luxury only the rich and satisfied can afford.

Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: EuGene
Date: 25 Aug 07 - 06:19 AM

Forgive me world. I didn't mean to sound so judgemental when I said that ". . . nobody in his right mind would . . .", an expression that surely is the acme of ignorant arrogance. Mea culpa.

So, whether or not I like or dislike a song or singer (or anything else), and whether or not another person begs to differ with me on the issue, is in no way indicative of anything other than a matter of divergence of opinion. No more, no less. One cannot draw a conclusion about intelligence or "right mind" of another merely because of a difference of opinion. To do so is more of an ad hominem barb rather than any form of factual statement.

However, with my statement I did that very thing, and am embarrassed and ashamed that I stepped so far out of line . . . I appologize to all.

EuGene

Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: EuGene
Date: 25 Aug 07 - 06:00 AM

Holy smokes, Willie-O, the last thing that could ever be suggested by my posting is that I think Van Morrison is or ever was a bad singer! Quite the contrary, for a guy who had such a great influence on all types of music from pop, to Celtic, to Jazz, to R&B, country, etc. nobody in his right mind would suggest that he couldn't sing.

Quite the contrary, because he was such a good singer, I suggested that if one was not familiar with all that Morrison was doing back during those years around when Moondance was recorded, they would get the impression from Moondance that he couldn't sing. Who would have connected the singer of "Gloria" and "Brown Eyed Girl" with the singer of "Moondance" . . . until I had heard the latter song several time and thought it was lousy, I didn't know who the singer was, only later hearing some DJ name Morrison. With that song, it seemed that there were two different singers named Van Morrison and at least as far as I knew they were as different as ventricles and testicles .

EuGene

Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: Doug Chadwick
Date: 25 Aug 07 - 02:28 AM

"It Must Be Him" by Vicki Carr

Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: Willie-O
Date: 24 Aug 07 - 11:06 PM

Genie: having looked back, after defending myself, cause I was curious as to what I might have said about "My Way", I am now more puzzled than before. I only made one earlier post to this thread, on February 1, and did not mention "My Way" at all. So, huh?

Guest Bill Kennedy's followup remarks on "Cold Missouri Waters" are informative, in a way. He seems an unpleasant person. I guess if you don't think a subject is worth writing about, you're not likely to like any song about it. But hang on, the song is not generic like "The Green Berets", it is not called "The Smoke Jumpers". It is about a tragedy which took the lives of 13 working people. Now if that ain't worth a couple of songs, folk music shouldn't even exist, cause there's nothing to write about.   

Good to hear from "Jump 17" that the song resonates with the people who work in that dangerous field. That's the only endorsement it needs.

W-O
old forestry tech

Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: Willie-O
Date: 24 Aug 07 - 10:42 PM

Well Genie, for me what connects the two Anka songs (Having My Baby and My Way) is that I really dislike songs that reflect the singer's/writer's apparently immense ego--and on Me-song score, My Way ranks even higher than HMB, it is the standard by which all are judged. Both of them are way up there. And neither are pop masterpieces in any other way that would ameliorate their obnoxiousness.

In other news, anyone who thinks that Moondance is terrible because Van Morrison is a bad singer doesn't know his left ventricle from his right testicle.

Thanks
W-O

Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: EuGene
Date: 24 Aug 07 - 09:56 PM

Genie:

I don't have a problem with the song "Moondance", whether one sings it as a smooth jazz song or a Fitzgerald skat number, but to me it is sickening the way Van Morrison sang it . . . like he wanted to emulate the death throes of some hapless creature being eaten alive by a lion! Anyone who is not familiar with most of Morrisons earlier stuff might think that not only did he never learn to sing, but in all likelihood never will.

EuGene

Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: the button
Date: 24 Aug 07 - 09:51 AM

Frank Sinatra's version of Mrs. Robinson?

Come on, the rhyming of "do your thing," with "ding, ding, ding," is inspired.

Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: Janice in NJ
Date: 24 Aug 07 - 09:35 AM

The worst has to be Blue Water Line, a fake protest song by the Brothers Four.

Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: cptsnapper
Date: 23 Aug 07 - 11:38 PM

Frank Sinatra's version of Mrs. Robinson

Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: Genie
Date: 23 Aug 07 - 01:45 AM

I second (or third, fourth, etc.) these nominations:
Having My Baby" by Paul Anka
Muskrat Love - Captain & Tenille
Feelings - why whoever did it
Teddy Bear - Red Sovine
Honey - Bobby Goldsboro

I'd also like to add a couple:
"Rose Garden" - Lynne Anderson - Nothing but a string of poorly connected clichés, sometimes making litte sense and never saying anything all that interesting or profound
(E.g., "you'd better look before you leap, still waters run deep, and I won't always be there to pull you out -- and you know what I'm talking about ... )

"Sunshine On My Shoulder" - John Denver -- Only because it's so tediously s l o w that I can't stand hearing it.

"Joanna" by Sly & The Family Stone - If you doubt it, take a listen (to the almost monotone "melody") and pay special attention to the 3rd-grade "rhymes" (not to mention the total - and unartistic - lack of rhyme in other parts).

But how can we forget John Ashcroft's "Let The Eagle Soar?"
(OK, he's not a professional musician - obviously - but he did record the damned thing in a professional recording studio album.)


Just a few other reactions to what's been said:

Willie O - Whether you like Anka's type of pop music or not, I cannot fathom how anyone could put a song like "My Way" in the same qualitative category as "Having My Baby."   The first is interesting melodically with rather well crafted lyrics - certainly no "Hallmark card" poetry -- while the latter is tedious, repetitive, with a "tune" verging on monotone. Sheesh!

MacArthur Park - horrible, I guess, but nowhere near as puke-inducing, IMO, as Feelings or Having My Baby

I agree that Knocking On Heaven's Door is one of Dylan's worst - very overrated
Same goes for Lennon's "Imagine"
But I'd hardly call either of them among the worst songs ever written


Hey, Scrump, I think "Why Don't We Do It In The Road?" is a classic! Right up there with Jimmy Buffett's "Why Don't We Get Drunk And Screw?"


Poppagator, your take on the issue resonates with me. There's many a pop or rock song I thought was drek when I heard it as a teen -- e.g., Roy Orbison's "Pretty Woman" -- but which I now consider a gem and a classic. Part of it is probably nostalgia, but I think part of it is also that my "ear" is more sophisticated than it once was; I can now appreciate some of the less superficial elements of such songs/arrangements that I overlooked back then. As you say, "having shed some of my prejudices, I can appreciate the singing, arrangements, musicianship, production, etc."


Art Thieme - How can you put the great Dr. Seuss -- "Waltzing With Bears" -- in the same category with whoever wrote "Feelings!"


Oh, and I think we've got two songs confused:
Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds
and
Judy In Disguise

EuGene, how can you not appreciate "Moon Dance?" Probably one of the best (sort of) smooth jazz songs of the last few decades.

Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: GUEST,LKGuest
Date: 22 Aug 07 - 01:37 AM

Dave Barry once did a column on bad songs once and got such an enthusiastic response that he wrote an entire book about bad songs. The book is a riot, but if you read it, you have all of these horrible tunes and lyrics stuck in your head.

Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: john f weldon
Date: 22 Aug 07 - 01:16 AM

Little Drummer Boy, especially if played on Hawaiian guitar.
Throw Mama from the Train (A Kiss, A Kiss).
Oh My Papa.
Sonny Boy.
A You're Adorable, mainly for line 3. (Cutie full of charm! Agh!)
Faith of Our Fathers.
Ave Maria.
Twas in the Moon of Wintertime.
Ahab the Arab.

...this is a good game for insomniacs!

Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: GUEST,English Jon
Date: 21 Aug 07 - 06:04 PM

American Sodding Pie

Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: GUEST,Jonny Sunshine
Date: 21 Aug 07 - 04:10 PM

Where to start?

I nominate Escape (The Pina Colada Song)by Rupert Holmes

Truly dreadful

Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: the button
Date: 21 Aug 07 - 01:11 PM

"The final countdown" by Europe
"We built this city (on rock & roll)" by Starship
The entire recorded output of the Grateful Dead.

Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: GUEST,TJ in San Diego
Date: 21 Aug 07 - 11:42 AM

Sorry, Uncle DaveO - I was interrupted and hit "enter" instead of "tab," with a nice "tabla rasa" result.

Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: GUEST,TJ in San Diego
Date: 21 Aug 07 - 11:40 AM

As we said in the sixties, "Different strokes for different folks."
It also depends on how I feel when I get up in the morning. Today, for example, I find "Monster Mash" especially execrable.

Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: Uncle_DaveO
Date: 21 Aug 07 - 11:39 AM

That's very interesting, TJ

Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: GUEST,TJ in San Diego
Date: 21 Aug 07 - 11:37 AM

Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: Uncle_DaveO
Date: 21 Aug 07 - 10:59 AM

As a long-time, dedicated fan of Pete Seeger's, I regretfully have to nominate his song, Golden Thread.

Dave Oesterreich

Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: GUEST,Chris B (Born Again Scouser)
Date: 21 Aug 07 - 10:53 AM

'Lucky Stars' by Dean Friedman. Go on. Beat That.

Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: EuGene
Date: 21 Aug 07 - 10:50 AM

It has got to be "Moon Dance" by Van Morrison . . . sounds like some of that late night caterwauling out in the alley. All those horrible sounds from a fellow who in his earlier life actually did some real singing! Eu

Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: GUEST,MARUT
Date: 21 Aug 07 - 10:40 AM

"PLEASE COME TO BOSTON"

Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: GUEST,CN
Date: 21 Aug 07 - 07:33 AM

"Send in the Clowns" by anyone. I don't truly detest many things, but that has to be top of my list.

And what's wrong with "Two Little Boys" (ducks...)

Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: GUEST,Strad
Date: 21 Aug 07 - 07:20 AM

The absolutely hideous "Two Little Boys" which seems to get exhumed every Christmas has me rushing for the On/Off button.

Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: TheSnail
Date: 21 Aug 07 - 07:14 AM

"Having My Baby" by Paul Anka.... oh my god, it´s pure torture...

Don't know it; is it even worse than "My Way"?

Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: Betsy
Date: 21 Aug 07 - 03:51 AM

Number Nine or Helter Skelter by the Beatles

Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: Long Firm Freddie
Date: 21 Aug 07 - 02:34 AM

Song Sung Blue (Neil Diamond) has me reaching for the sick bucket.

LFF

Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: GUEST,Doug
Date: 21 Aug 07 - 02:27 AM

Just discovered this forum. My vote goes to Bobby McFerrin's "Don't Worry, Be Happy."

I love Bobby, but this song gives me chills. Eccccck!

Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: GUEST,Bardan
Date: 08 Jun 07 - 09:00 AM

Slightly off topic, but my dad tends to get obsessed with a particular album and play it over and over again until it drives everyone crazy. He fell asleep listening to Richard and Linda Thomson one night and found the record in bits in the quad the next morning. Someone had actually crept into his room and chucked it out the window.

Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: GUEST,TJ in San Diego
Date: 07 Jun 07 - 06:54 PM

I hate to rain on any performer's parade. "Walk a mile in their shoes, etc...." That said, I had an upstairs neighbor who was learning to play electric bass. Rhythm was the least of his issues; he couldn't have followed a tune if threatened with death. And, of course, he screwed up with the knob at #9. By the way, "MacArthur Park" was performed by Richard Harris. If he was a professional musician, I'm a colorectal surgeon. Which, by the way, is the name of a really bad, but really funny song by a Canadian duo named Bowser and Blue.

Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: GUEST,JB
Date: 07 Jun 07 - 06:42 PM

Surely we can`t omit "Little Arrows" by Leapey (Leepy) Lee or has it already been mentioned?

Oh the pain!

JB

Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: lefthanded guitar
Date: 07 Jun 07 - 05:08 PM

Love your use of the word 'arhythmic' to describe this guy - the Chinese water torture of this guy's incessant practicing meant that surely someone was hired to kill him. My word, even Jose never quite got the rhythm of the tune quite right.

Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: Don Firth
Date: 06 Jun 07 - 07:21 PM

Nothing against the song itself, but during the late 60s I was living in an apartment in Seattle's University District, and I had a next door neighbor who played electric guitar (which he insisted on cranking up to overload, a la Jimi Hendrix. After an interminable amount of time hearing him practice Jose Feliciano's hit record "Light My Fire," I had just about had it. The guy had absolutely no sense of rhythm. After hearing his arrhythmic attempts at "Come on, baby, light my fire" for what seemed like several hours a day for several weeks, I was right on the verge of buying an army surplus flame thrower and granting what seemed to be his fondest wish.

But suddenly everything went quiet over there. It may have been that his downstairs neighbor came up and pulled the plug. On his amplifier or on him personally, I don't know.

I didn't inquire.

Blessed, blessed peace!

Don Firth

Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: GUEST,lefthanded guitar
Date: 06 Jun 07 - 06:58 PM

PS
I think the actual title was Lucy in Disguise with glasses.

Youda think I'd remember the exact title after hearing it so much

Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: GUEST,lefthanded guitar
Date: 06 Jun 07 - 06:56 PM

Where do you go to my lovely, I didn't know anyone but me and my friend's husband Jim knew that song. I didn't think it was that bad.

But from that era, or thereabout, my nomination for the very worst song in the universe bar none is;
Lucy in the Sky with Glasses.

When I was a freshman in college,living on the 16th floor of my dorm, some idiot played that song about 100 times a day.Day night afternoon, whatever, of all songs to play that was the one they picked- they were on the 14th floor. Finally someone on the 18th floor started yelling for them to turn it off and the proprietor of the record stuck her nasty head out the window and started yelling; wherupon the 18th floor gal then proceeded to empty a bucket of (used) soapy water out the window.

Never heard that d**n thing again all semester.

Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: Roughyed
Date: 06 Jun 07 - 04:55 PM

You don't need to read the whole thread Shimrod to see if someone has mentioned Imagine. Press Control and F on your keyboard, type in Imagine, click on next and you'll find that someone called Alex disagrees with you. I don't though. It's nice to find someone else who thinks it's a wishy washy piece of drivel.

And you're dead right about Cousins as well. A master of bathos at his worst.

Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: GUEST,semi-pro musician
Date: 06 Jun 07 - 04:13 PM

What in the world is wrong with you people slamming songs that are considered classics? You've managed to insult half the songs I like and use in my repetoire? There is NOTHING wrong with most of them. You just don't appreciate good music.

Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: GUEST,Shimrod
Date: 02 May 07 - 03:45 AM

I don't know whether anyone has mentioned this yet (can't be bothered to read the whole thread), but I hate 'Imagine' by John Lennon - a dreary, dirgy, mawkish statement of the bleedin' obvious!

Also, does anyone remember 'The Man Who Called Himself Jesus' by Dave Cousins of the Strawbs (I think)? The line which goes, something like, "I thought my pint of beer had turned into a pint of blood" takes some beating for poor taste and over-dramatisation! I also found the declamatory, 'I-just-made-this-up-in-the-bath' tune intensely irritating as well.

Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: GUEST,Art Thieme
Date: 01 May 07 - 11:54 PM

Definitely "Waltzing With Bears"

Subject: RE: Review: Worst Song by a professional musician
From: GUEST,blindlemonsteve
Date: 01 May 07 - 03:38 PM

Just going over this thread again as its resurected itself, I know some people just want to talk about folk music to the exclusion of eveything else, but sometimes its nice just to relax with friends and shoot the breeze on light subjects, we dont know each other personally, so threads like this are a sort of way for us all to talk nonsense over a few pints down the pub. Nothing more than that really.