BS: Staying on topic in threads.

Subject: RE: BS: Staying on topic in threads.
From: Tweed
Date: 31 Jan 08 - 10:09 AM

And you're completely off topic!
We've not gotten to "sickness" as of yet, however, I once had pneumonia. I was real sick for several days and eventually died from it. When I was brought back around, I don't know if I went to heaven or hell, but it looked exactly like everything does now.

Subject: RE: BS: Staying on topic in threads.
From: Peace
Date: 31 Jan 08 - 09:56 AM

You people are SICK!

Subject: RE: BS: Staying on topic in threads.
From: Tweed
Date: 31 Jan 08 - 09:51 AM

Was he strung up by his anchovies?

Subject: RE: BS: Staying on topic in threads.
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 31 Jan 08 - 09:16 AM

Was Juan well hung too?

Subject: RE: BS: Staying on topic in threads.
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 31 Jan 08 - 09:14 AM

MMMMM If I got into necrophylia, flaggelation and bestiality...do you think I might be 'flogging a dead horse'?

Subject: RE: BS: Staying on topic in threads.
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Jan 08 - 09:13 AM

I'm sorry. I forgot to mention that the goat had eaten my anchovies and as a result (I guess) had become violently sick to its stomach. You see, the anchovies were still alive and I was going to release them in the Strait of Juan de Fuckah. That's on the Snake River, just downstream from Arimo and upstream from Burley. It's called that because it's where Juan McDonald got himself into a dire strait when Henry Plummer caught Juan with Colletta, Henry's nubile daughter, back in 1863. Henry, of course, was later hanged by the Vigilantes up in Montana, and well-deserved it was, too.

Subject: RE: BS: Staying on topic in threads.
From: Tweed
Date: 31 Jan 08 - 07:56 AM

Yes, what are you on about goats for Rapiere? Stop bleating a dead horse.

HeeHawww.

Subject: RE: BS: Staying on topic in threads.
From: Slag
Date: 31 Jan 08 - 01:59 AM

The Lombards nearly wrecked the pizza thing. I mean, they had balls (3 no less!) but not a one of them knew what an anchovy was even though wild herds of them roamed that portion of the Alps in ancient times (I'm told). There are many caves in those same mountains and, I suppose the sightless fishing is good but I would really, really like to try tying into one of those spelunkers. Lunkers anywhere in the world put up a pretty good scrap as did the Lombards. AND the Lombards or their descendants are paying pretty good prices right now for scrap gold. Or so I'm told.

Rap??? What are you going on about a goat for??? Who mentioned a goat? I suggest you re-read the initial thread and DO try to stay on top of it, OK?

Subject: RE: BS: Staying on topic in threads.
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Jan 08 - 10:39 PM

I was garlicking through a spelunk one time I found a pretzel the goat have overlooked. Fortunately it was thyme and I didn't macerate it.

Subject: RE: BS: Staying on topic in threads.
From: Tweed
Date: 30 Jan 08 - 07:46 PM

I was spelunking for sightless fish in a cave at one point. The thing was chock full of marmites and maglites. The tour guide assured us that it was a natural phenomenon but it was fairly disturbing to many in the group as they were mooing and hawing like livestock.
He spoke in garlic and stunk to high heaven and I barely escaped with all my senses intact!!

Subject: RE: BS: Staying on topic in threads.
From: Emma B
Date: 30 Jan 08 - 06:34 PM

as sung at the Sheffield carols :)

Subject: RE: BS: Staying on topic in threads.
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 30 Jan 08 - 06:33 PM

Scared to come out huh?
G

Subject: RE: BS: Staying on topic in threads.
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Jan 08 - 06:31 PM

There was a skeleton found in my closet once.

Subject: RE: BS: Staying on topic in threads.
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 30 Jan 08 - 05:48 PM

The skeleton found in the cavity wall of a house in London last week was that of James Houghton the world hide-and-seek champion who was not found in 1956...........

Subject: RE: BS: Staying on topic in threads.
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 30 Jan 08 - 05:44 PM

James Thrumpton..the man who invented the Hokey-Cokey.. died last week but his family are having trouble laying him to rest. Everything was going fine until they tried to put him in his coffin ..........
They put his left leg in....his left leg out........

Subject: RE: BS: Staying on topic in threads.
From: Jeri
Date: 30 Jan 08 - 05:38 PM

Hey Rap, was he in North Humpton, South Humpton, or Humpton-Upon-Buggerall?

Subject: RE: BS: Staying on topic in threads.
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 30 Jan 08 - 05:25 PM

It was him that piddled on my roof.
G

Subject: RE: BS: Staying on topic in threads.
From: Slag
Date: 30 Jan 08 - 05:23 PM

Oy vey!

Subject: RE: BS: Staying on topic in threads.
From: Slag
Date: 30 Jan 08 - 05:22 PM

Topoi??? Don't you mean "Topol"?

Subject: Obit: John Beresford Tipton
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Jan 08 - 05:14 PM

AP - John Beresford Tipton, noted billionaire who was known for giving away one million dollars to people completely unknown to him, died today at his home in The Humptons. According to Michael Anthony, spokesman for the Tipton family, he "was about to change his will to pass all of his money to someone called 'Tweed' when he had a massive heart attack."

The Bland County Coroner's Office released a statement that "foul play was not suspected" and that everything possible was done to help Mr. Tipton.

Subject: RE: BS: Staying on topic in threads.
From: GUEST,Well at LAST
Date: 30 Jan 08 - 04:08 PM

Kindly we wish you to have ever happyness. Send youre account information to our offise in Lagos. We will forward the money to your bank account. Because it has been over forty years. To enshure you also get the acrued interest which has been carefully calculated and is now worth $7,681, 429.63, we will require a 'good will' deposit from you in the amount of $10,000. When you send your account information we will replie.

Sincerly

Ben Dover and Tay Kit.

Subject: RE: BS: Staying on topic in threads.
From: Tweed
Date: 30 Jan 08 - 03:10 PM

Praise the Lord and pass the Anchovies!! My life is now completely completed.

PM me, Dear Sir, and I'll give you all my account numbers.

Subject: RE: BS: Staying on topic in threads.
From: GUEST,Well at LAST
Date: 30 Jan 08 - 02:55 PM

TWEED

My agent, Michael, couldn't find you ANYwhere. Had we but known your address . . . .

Sincerely,

John Beresford Tipton

Subject: RE: BS: Staying on topic in threads.
From: Tweed
Date: 30 Jan 08 - 02:50 PM

I've never pursued the accumulation of wealth and luxury much, figuring that someday someone would just drop a bag of money in my lap.

I think I've successfully traced this neurotic fixation for instant money-gratification back to my childhood while watching episodes of "The Millionaire" on small black and white televisions and subconsiously never stopped believing. O well....

Subject: RE: BS: Staying on topic in threads.
From: Ebbie
Date: 30 Jan 08 - 01:51 PM

How many has he laid, Rap? Eggs, that is.

Subject: RE: BS: Staying on topic in threads.
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Jan 08 - 01:36 PM

Whatever is the matter with Mozart? He just lays there, decomposing.

Subject: RE: BS: Staying on topic in threads.
From: GUEST,Bob Ryszkiewicz
Date: 30 Jan 08 - 11:35 AM

Peace: The only way you are going to get this many people to agree about anchovie pizza or staying on topic is, uh, well..you would have to be a wizard, Peace; or Dirty Harry, or both...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tu8hVPEWoyM&feature=related
bob

Subject: RE: BS: Staying on topic in threads.
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 30 Jan 08 - 11:29 AM

They do in China Peace

Subject: RE: BS: Staying on topic in threads.
From: autolycus
Date: 30 Jan 08 - 11:13 AM

And another thing.


PS. I think where this has all gone wrong is we answered the prob about staying on-topic (or not) too fast, so there's just this thumb-twisting left.

Ivor

Subject: RE: BS: Staying on topic in threads.
From: Peace
Date: 30 Jan 08 - 11:02 AM

"Recall that when using the plurality method the jumbo pizza ended up with anchovies. Also note that anchovies were the last choice of 11 voters. Since many people who don't like anchovies really hate anchovies, it could well be the case that these 11 people - a clear majority - might not want any of the biggest pizza. Although this means more for the 7 people who like anchovies, overall it doesn't seem like the fairest way to choose.

How can we overcome these difficulties? One way is to begin by eliminating candidates until only two are left and then choose head to head between these two. Now the winner will have a majority."

Subject: RE: BS: Staying on topic in threads.
From: Peace
Date: 30 Jan 08 - 10:51 AM

I wonder if anchovies have elections. Does anyone know?

Subject: RE: BS: Staying on topic in threads.
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 30 Jan 08 - 09:12 AM

No Donuel I am not a silversmith although I have trained as one. My name comes from my Ebay dealings (Georgiansilver of course...currently selling scrap gold)....I do however collect Georgian silver cutlery and do valuations for people including local charity shops.
Best wishes, Mike.

Subject: RE: BS: Staying on topic in threads.
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Jan 08 - 08:55 AM

I say that if you can't stay on topic you should be flogged, keelhauled, tarred and feathered, and forced to drink hemlock. Which reminds me, where have all the really good milkshakes gone? Used to be that they were made with real milk and real ice cream and were nice and thick, like the slush we used to make slushballs from. I made one of those one time and smacked my brother in the back of the neck so that all of the slush ran down into his collar. It was one of those collars that had a button in the back as well as on the points in the front. I think they were called "Ivy League collars" or something. Like they were invented at Harvard or Yale or someplace like that. You know, one of the colleges that never have a good football team anymore? American football, of course, but I sure they also have soccer. And probably rugby and lacrosse and field hockey and Gaelic football, for all I know. I didn't go to one of those hoity-toity schools; couldn't afford it. And I got a good education anyway. Just goes to show that you don't have to attend Cambridge to be invited to speak there. It's all in what you do, not what you did. My grandma used to say that and it's true. She also used to say a lot of other neat things. My mom used to say, "People in hell want ice water." She'd say that when we'd whine about wanting something and we couldn't afford it. We never had much money but we were all happy. Not like today, when if a kid has to wee as soon as school's out. Back in my day we went outside and played until we were called for supper. After supper we did homework. Memorized poems and famous speeches, did arithmetic problems, memorized historical dates like 1066 and 1775, read books. We didn't have a television until I was nine years old. All the other kids would be talking about the TV shows, but we were reading and growing mentally while they were stunting their intellectual growth by watching Liberace or the McCarthy-Army hearings. Not us, no sirree! We were developing mental discipline, like the sort that I think we should all show by staying on topic in threads.

Subject: RE: BS: Staying on topic in threads.
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Jan 08 - 10:56 PM

Which reminds me of the cowboy (the original term was "cow boy" and it wasn't complimentary, coming as it did from Western Virginia and Maryland from which cattle were driven to market in Baltimore and similar places) who was fixing fence when a hot shot dude skidded to a stop in his fancy car. "Say," said the dude, "if I tell you how many cows you have in that field can I have one?"

"Sure," said the cowboy.

"You have 417."

"Right," said the cowboy. "Now, if I can tell you where you're from and what you do for a living, would you give me my animal back?"

"Certainly," the dude said smugly.

"You're from California and you're an accountant," said the cowboy.

"Damn!" said the dude. "You're right on both counts, and I know you didn't know from the license plates because it's a rented car. How on earth did you know?"

"Us cowboys got our ways," the cowboy said. "Now gimme my blue heeler back."

Subject: RE: BS: Staying on topic in threads.
From: Slag
Date: 29 Jan 08 - 10:39 PM

Speaking of Hitler and anchovy legs there was an American Cowboy, which is, of course, a loose translation of the Spanish/Mexican word "vaquero" which oddly enough means "cowboy" which was really a derogatory term for American blacks who were really the main of the working cattle wranglers in the early west. At any rate this cowboy sees a buyer's agent parked atop of the entry gate to a holding pen. The agent has a tally book in hand and the cowpoke (which is another term for cowboy but fo'cusses on the fact that a big part of the job was prodding the doggies[which is an acceptable term for "dogies"] which is another term for unfenced cattle {don't fence me in}]). Well the cowpuncher (you can probably figure that one out on your own) asks the agent "Whatcha doin' there?" to which the agent replies "I'm a countin' heads of cattle as they pass through the gate" Said cowboy has an astonished look on his face as the cows, well actually they were steers, well, not really steers as a lot of them hadn't been castrated. They were a mixed herd as having some steers among the bulls has a calming effect on the bulls. And there were cows among them also. You know it's a strange thing. You wouldn't think it but even in a closed in situation as a corral or a pen the bulls always seem to rise to the occasion when a receptive cow is nearby. Any how they were pouring through the gate at a pretty good rate of speed and the drover ( that's also a word for someone who drives cattle or sheep to market [although they share a common term for their respective jobs the cattlemen had no love for the sheep herders as sheep tend to eat the grass all the way down and leave no forage for the cattle]) says "How on earth can you keep track of all them cattle" to which the agent says that's easy. I just count their legs and divide by four."

I don't know much about herding anchovies but I imagine you take the tally in much the same way. I'd be interested in learning more about the subject since math is one of my favorite things and I believe that was the topic which Peace addressed.

As for Hitler, he didn't know the difference between a duck.

Subject: RE: BS: Staying on topic in threads.
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Jan 08 - 09:36 PM

I've met Peace.

That's him to a T. All these years, pretending he was a mild-mannered firefighter from Alberta when in reality he was David Lee Roth.

Wow.

Subject: RE: BS: Staying on topic in threads.
From: open mike
Date: 29 Jan 08 - 09:13 PM

alimentary, my dear Watson..

Subject: RE: BS: Staying on topic in threads.
From: GUEST,Bob Ryszkiewicz
Date: 29 Jan 08 - 07:51 PM

Party? Did you say party? You mean you don't remember that party we went to when you pledged your undying LOVE? After the copius amounts of liquid refreshment? Sherbrooke St. 1970. Draft at ten cents a glass? Think back, it started when you dressed up in that psycho multicolored native outfit. You even brought a spear with you. HA HA HA What a guy...
You remember we stopped in that Dep run by the weird Arab guy to pick up a 6-pack in case we ran out? We had a garlic and anchovy pizza with that black chick, so she wanted to pick up some breath mints for us. So sweet. I wonder what ever happened to her? That was before you changed your name. I still have the video...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F2mQpYG2POM

Affended? Yes. I will always be your afendi...

See? Isn't it wunnerful that people can communicate with each other? Like on this thread. Each one LISTENING and then respectfully commenting?

bob

Subject: RE: BS: Staying on topic in threads.
From: Peace
Date: 29 Jan 08 - 07:18 PM

Uh, I don't think you and I ever tied the knot, Bob. Sorry. Hope you're not offended. However, there were some wild parties. Gawd. Now I got THIS to worry about.

Subject: RE: BS: Staying on topic in threads.
From: GUEST,Bob Ryszkiewicz
Date: 29 Jan 08 - 07:12 PM

And now, dancing anchovies!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U0ImgssNloY

Why Peace. Hijacked? Ne'er do wells? These wonderful people are merely elaborating on the miriad possibilities of YOUR suggested topic. I remember when you were a FUN GUY! Whappened?
Otherwise, if we all ONLY commented on the Subject: RE: Staying on topic in threads. What SHOULD we have said? Yes. No. Maybe?

And another thing... Peace. Were we ever married?

bob

Subject: RE: BS: Staying on topic in threads.
From: Donuel
Date: 29 Jan 08 - 07:04 PM

Georgian Silver, are you a silver smith?

I splled gouache varnish on my hands 2 days ago and it still won;t wash off.

Dinner still isn't ready.

Subject: RE: BS: Staying on topic in threads.
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 29 Jan 08 - 06:50 PM

I suppose everything is going DIGITal now John so you should never go hungry.

Subject: RE: BS: Staying on topic in threads.
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 29 Jan 08 - 06:28 PM

And why are there never any fingers left, by the time the finger bowl gets to me.
Were they all eaten at the finger buffet?

G

Subject: RE: BS: Staying on topic in threads.
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 29 Jan 08 - 06:24 PM

And is wallpaper paste made from wallpaper? or is toothpaste made from teeth?.

Subject: RE: BS: Staying on topic in threads.
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 29 Jan 08 - 06:16 PM

If anchovy paste is made from squashed anchovies, and tomato paste is made from squashed tomatoes, is library paste made from squashed libraries?

Subject: RE: BS: Staying on topic in threads.
From: Emma B
Date: 29 Jan 08 - 05:14 PM

now get your taste buds round this!

Subject: RE: BS: Staying on topic in threads.
From: Peace
Date: 29 Jan 08 - 05:11 PM

Philistine. No milk? Cream? Sugar?

Subject: RE: BS: Staying on topic in threads.
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Jan 08 - 05:01 PM

Anchovy Tea

Open a tin of achovies.
Put some in a teapot.
Pour rapidly boiling water over them.
Seep for 20 minutes.
Pour into teacups and enjoy!

(Garnish with a clove of garlic for a festive touch.)


This recipe has been handed down in my family for generations, from mother to daughter. No one has made it up recently, though. If you make it up please let everyone know how it tastes. Thank you.

Subject: RE: BS: Staying on topic in threads.
From: Peace
Date: 29 Jan 08 - 04:58 PM

Actually, Leadfingers, that IS the topic. The real topic of this thread, before it was hijacked by ne'er-do-wells, is numbers. We were using anchovies to make keeping track easier, but then trying to count the legs on those little suckers was becoming a real chore.

Subject: RE: BS: Staying on topic in threads.
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 29 Jan 08 - 04:56 PM

Time you went for a walk Terry