BS: Lessons Learned from Mom

Subject: RE: BS: Lessons Learned from Mom
From: kendall
Date: 30 Apr 05 - 07:44 AM

Subject: RE: BS: Lessons Learned from Mom
From: kendall
Date: 29 Apr 05 - 08:31 AM

Probably the most important lesson I learned from my Mother was respect for women in general. My paternal grandfather once said "A woman only needs enough brains to get her from the kitchen to the bedroom." I never liked him.

Subject: RE: BS: Lessons Learned from Mom
From: YorkshireYankee
Date: 28 Apr 05 - 05:30 PM

Anyone can sing. Anyone can dance. Anyone can draw. Encourage and assist anyone who wants to do so -- especially if they think they can't.

A real gift -- and a long-lasting one...

Subject: RE: BS: Lessons Learned from Mom
From: kendall
Date: 27 Apr 05 - 07:14 PM

From my Mom I learned the value of integrity. If your word is no good, YOU are no good. She had more guts than a fiddle string factory.

My father, on the other hand, was just the opposite. When I was a boy, he took me aside and left me there.

Subject: RE: BS: Lessons Learned from Mom
From: GUEST,leeneia
Date: 27 Apr 05 - 05:49 PM

Among other things:

If a car won't start, it's probably the battery.
Cook with herbs and spices.
Give a tired, hungry man some slack before he eats his dinner.
Get rid of the television.

This week I have been embroidering some tea towels for friends. This has brought back the memory of my mother sitting on the couch in the evening, sewing by hand. As she did, she would often stretch the needle and thread out all the way, then spin the needle to take the twists out of the thread. It is a gesture I will associate with her always.

Subject: RE: BS: Lessons Learned from Mom
From: jacqui.c
Date: 27 Apr 05 - 04:04 PM

Mack - you're right, you don't have to love those that society says you should.

My mother taught me how to love my own children, by not following her example.

Subject: RE: BS: Lessons Learned from Mom
From: Uncle_DaveO
Date: 27 Apr 05 - 12:52 PM

Mrs. Duck, she'd be proud of you: "disease" is correct!

Dave Oesterreich

Subject: RE: BS: Lessons Learned from Mom
From: Mrs.Duck
Date: 27 Apr 05 - 12:48 PM

My mum taught me to always make my own decisions, that life was too short for housework and that noone takes you seriously if you drop your aitches. She tried very hard to teach me how to spell disease as well but even now I'm not sure.

Subject: RE: BS: Lessons Learned from Mom
From: ranger1
Date: 27 Apr 05 - 11:26 AM

I'm still learning from my mom. She's an amazing person, even if she has a hard time seeing it sometimes.

A few of the things she's taught me:
How to take care of myself (cooking, cleaning, budgeting, etc.)
How to stand up for myself and others
To lend a hand to those in need without expecting anything in return
To see the beauty in the little things in life
To see people for who they are, not what they are
That true success is defined not by how much money you make, but by how you treat yourself and others

Subject: RE: BS: Lessons Learned from Mom
From: LilyFestre
Date: 22 Apr 05 - 03:30 PM

My Mom taught me a tiny bit of german. By age 3 I could count to 10 in german, ask people if they could catch flies and to understand when she said (pardon the spelling) Sitzen sie sich und schliesen dein mund (basically, sit down and shut up)!

LF

Subject: RE: BS: Lessons Learned from Mom
From: gnu
Date: 22 Apr 05 - 03:15 PM

Are we going to add "Dad" or is someone going to start a new thread?
And when is the thread(s) "What I Wish Mom/Dad had taught me" coming up? Hey, just asking.

Subject: RE: BS: Lessons Learned from Mom
From: gnu
Date: 22 Apr 05 - 02:46 PM

Excellent advice, brucie. One more, re "... You will want someone to do that for you when you get old...". Don't matter. Do it anyway because, even if noone does it for you, you will remember that you did it for her.

I was saying to a buddy the other day that my mother has been looking out for me for 49 years and now it's my turn to look after her in her eldery years. He questioned, "I thought you were 48 years old, no?" I said, "Yeah, I am 48. Do the math."

Subject: RE: BS: Lessons Learned from Mom
From: Ellenpoly
Date: 22 Apr 05 - 12:41 PM

"Question Authority"

I've never forgotten that, Bless her.

Subject: RE: BS: Lessons Learned from Mom
From: Clinton Hammond
Date: 22 Apr 05 - 12:32 PM

All the people here who were forced to clean their plates make it no wonder that so many people these days are fat...

What my mom taught me? Her Number One piece of child rearing advice... "Eat 'em when the bones are soft!"

Subject: RE: BS: Lessons Learned from Mom
From: Amos
Date: 22 Apr 05 - 12:19 PM

Another lesson from her: communicate tot he people you love now, because they can vanish suddenly and leave you with too many undelivered communications.


A

Subject: RE: BS: Lessons Learned from Mom
From: Peace
Date: 22 Apr 05 - 12:14 PM

For those of you who have mothers left, I have a piece of advice, albeit, unsolicited. If you haven't told her you love her lately, do so now. If you have been estranged, fix it. If you have argued lately, apologize. In twenty years it will not matter a damn who was right. Suck it up and say you're sorry. If you haven't seen her in ten years because the visit drives you nuts, visit anyway. You will want someone to do that for you when you get old and maybe ready to depart "this mortal coil".

Fifteen year old kid talking to his aunt. He says he knows his mother better than she knows him. The aunts says, "Well, Billy, it's true that you have known her for fifteen years. But, SHE has known you all your life."

Some wisdom in that old saw.

BM

Subject: RE: BS: Lessons Learned from Mom
From: LilyFestre
Date: 22 Apr 05 - 11:54 AM

The more I think about it, my Mom has taught me millions of things.....I can't put it all down here. Like Susan, I have an issue with one of the recipes....ok...a group of recipes. My mom makes the same 4 kinds of Christmas cookies each year. Each year I have her write them down for me and I finally have taped them to the inside of my cupboard so they don't end up in a drawer where I won't find the darn things until February!!!


LOL! Love you Mom!!!!!!!!!!!!

Michelle

Subject: RE: BS: Lessons Learned from Mom
From: mack/misophist
Date: 22 Apr 05 - 11:42 AM

My mother was severely neurotic. It's OK not to love the people society expects you to love. That's a hard lesson to learn.

Subject: RE: BS: Lessons Learned from Mom
From: GUEST,LilyFestre
Date: 22 Apr 05 - 09:18 AM

My Mom also taught me that friends are incredibly important.

:) LF

Subject: RE: BS: Lessons Learned from Mom
From: GUEST
Date: 22 Apr 05 - 08:40 AM

That the dark side of middle class nice is middle class passive aggression.

Subject: RE: BS: Lessons Learned from Mom
From: artbrooks
Date: 22 Apr 05 - 08:38 AM

There really are too many things to list, but one that comes immediately to mind is, "the one who cooks is excused from cleaning up afterwards." My wife appreciates that one.

Subject: RE: BS: Lessons Learned from Mom
From: 42
Date: 22 Apr 05 - 07:37 AM

My mother had nine kids, three dogs, assorted cats and a house-call making- small town -family physician husband. She was a voracious reader who would go through the Globe and Mail every day devouring the world...and I mean literally - eating every corner, down the edges...oblivious to the phone; lost in the machinations of a world she would later spend all her energies trying to change.

Two things:

I learned the price of privilege is high and should never be discounted.
I learned to never eat books.

j

Subject: RE: BS: Lessons Learned from Mom
From: sixtieschick
Date: 21 Apr 05 - 06:02 PM

My mother usually ends our evening phone conversations with this admonition:

"Now go and curl up in bed with a good book, or with someone who's reading a good book."

Subject: RE: BS: Lessons Learned from Mom
From: GUEST
Date: 21 Apr 05 - 05:59 PM

I'm still learning, and after reading this thread I am going to phone her tomorrow to tell her how much I love her (again!).

Subject: RE: BS: Lessons Learned from Mom
From: LilyFestre
Date: 21 Apr 05 - 05:14 PM

My Mom taught me to be independent and to do things on my own, never to wait for someone else to do it for me. Through her own example, she taught me that it is better to live alone and be happy than to live with someone who makes you miserable.

LF

Subject: RE: BS: Lessons Learned from Mom
From: Charmion
Date: 21 Apr 05 - 04:49 PM

What did I learn from my mother?
Neatness counts (she wasn't).
Cooking is worth taking trouble over (she didn't).
Take responsibility for your own happiness (she wouldn't).

Subject: RE: BS: Lessons Learned from Mom
From: Peace
Date: 21 Apr 05 - 04:33 PM

My grandmother was more my mom than my mom was. As kid I did as I was told and spoke when I was spoken to. She taught me to scrub behind my ears--that was something I took to heart. If my ears weren't clean SHE would scrub them. She removed the top layer of skin with a rough cloth and sunlight soap and elbow grease.

Subject: RE: BS: Lessons Learned from Mom
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 21 Apr 05 - 04:28 PM

I'm sure my Mom taught me a thing or two, but I'm damned if I can remember enough to write a whole paragraph. The main things I remember are:

1) Never tell your Mom to kiss your ass, even if you think she's way out of hearing range.

2) Never stick bullets up your nose. Snot gunks up firing chambers.

Subject: RE: BS: Lessons Learned from Mom
From: Irish sergeant
Date: 21 Apr 05 - 04:19 PM

We got to sit there until we did eat the food.
I learned that if you're sad sing.it will left your spirits. treat others as you would be treated eat your veggies and that things operated that way because she said so. Miss the old girl she's been gone 40 years. Neil

Subject: RE: BS: Lessons Learned from Mom
From: gnu
Date: 21 Apr 05 - 04:17 PM

Mum taught me the wisdom of silence. I am still learning. Sometimes very painfully.

Subject: RE: BS: Lessons Learned from Mom
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 21 Apr 05 - 04:05 PM

We didn't get the starving child in Africa, we just got the same food served up for the next meal.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Lessons Learned from Mom
From: Azizi
Date: 21 Apr 05 - 03:01 PM

I was told to eat all my food because children were starving in China.

My family didn't talk about Africa then, even in that context.

Subject: RE: BS: Lessons Learned from Mom
From: Peace
Date: 21 Apr 05 - 02:53 PM

When I got the "children are starving in Korea" thing, I said, "Name three."

No dindins that night. Fast with the hand was my mother.

Subject: RE: BS: Lessons Learned from Mom
From: Bill D
Date: 21 Apr 05 - 01:58 PM

"If you don't finish all your food, a kid will die in Africa"

it was "think of the starving Armenians" ..I said "you can send them my share."

Subject: RE: BS: Lessons Learned from Mom
From: GUEST,Mrr
Date: 21 Apr 05 - 01:52 PM

I wasn't joking, and neither was she. She also sat me down when I was about 17 to make sure I knew that to be a healthy happy adult you needed a healthy happy sex life. I had the best Mom.

Subject: RE: BS: Lessons Learned from Mom
From: Jerry Rasmussen
Date: 21 Apr 05 - 01:38 PM

My faith, and to try to love people whatever their color, nationality or religion. And to never settle for who you are.

Jerry

Subject: RE: BS: Lessons Learned from Mom
From: Uncle_DaveO
Date: 21 Apr 05 - 01:35 PM

Jokes aside, I learned from my mother that (unless you're a bottom-level worker, just renting your body to the boss by the hour, so to speak), you take responsibility for the job, and you do the job, by God, whatever it takes, and do it well. And above a certain income level you don't even worry about overtime pay; the compensation will come to you, if you're doing it right--perhaps overtime, perhaps promotion, perhaps in expressed or not-expressed-but-felt valuation of your contribution not only from superiors but from co-workers. And certainly in self-respect and job satisfaction!

My mother didn't just tell me these things; she lived them!

Dave Oesterreich

Subject: RE: BS: Lessons Learned from Mom
From: GUEST,Mrr
Date: 21 Apr 05 - 01:32 PM

When I wanted my allowance raised because I was old enough to buy alcoholic drinks, which were an extra expense, Mom said, if you're buying your own drinks when you go to a bar, then you're not doing what you go to bars to do, well. And didn't raise my allowance. Thanks, Mom!

Subject: RE: BS: Lessons Learned from Mom
From: GUEST,saulgoldie
Date: 21 Apr 05 - 01:31 PM

"If you don't finish all your food, a kid will die in Africa." Or was it China?

"Be fair and honest in your dealings with people."
"All human beings deserve human treatment and dignity, all genders, races, religions, and ethnic backgrounds. And even the ones what shit on you."
Mom, I am proud to say, was one of the first people to sit down in a cafeteria protest with blacks. Late 40s or early 50s it was. And she was one of the first heteros that I know who was "out" in front of the fight for human treatment of homosexuals.
She also taught me that a lie, no mater how sanctimonious the speaker may present themselves to be, is still a lie, and the sooner the Republicans stop telling them, the sooner we can have a *civil* dialogue.
And she taught me that young men should learn household tasks so that they can keep their own houses, or *share* in the housekeeping if they end up with a partner.

Subject: RE: BS: Lessons Learned from Mom
From: wysiwyg
Date: 21 Apr 05 - 01:05 PM

It's a good hijack. Some issues are best worked on after the person involved is gone.

I learned that from my mom, too.

Funny PS on the meatloaf story-- I had hung the recipes too high to see, so my son (very tall) would read it to me when I made it. I just got off the phone from telling the story to my mom, as a way of thanking her for the many lessons she gave us-- she almost died laughing. Seems my now-adult son had just called HER to find out how to make meatloaf! I'm going to send my post, above, to my dughter in law as her birthday present and save her all the years of wondering how to make it! (She doesn't cook yet, at all.)

~Susan

Subject: RE: BS: Lessons Learned from Mom
From: GUEST,Azizi
Date: 21 Apr 05 - 01:03 PM

I learned that music can lift your spirit.

Subject: RE: BS: Lessons Learned from Mom
From: GUEST
Date: 21 Apr 05 - 12:56 PM

It's not for her - it's for you. My dad is dead too - same situation. You can't do anything about them now but we can have control over how we look at the problem. Sorry to hijack the thread.

Subject: RE: BS: Lessons Learned from Mom
From: GUEST
Date: 21 Apr 05 - 12:50 PM

Thanks, Guest. She's dead now.

Subject: RE: BS: Lessons Learned from Mom
From: GUEST
Date: 21 Apr 05 - 12:48 PM

I'll but there is an Al-anon meeting nearby. You might want to look into that Guest.

Subject: RE: BS: Lessons Learned from Mom
From: GUEST
Date: 21 Apr 05 - 12:35 PM

Not much. Learned that a drunk for a mom is no joy. Learned that drunk parents are shit.

Subject: RE: BS: Lessons Learned from Mom
From: Amos
Date: 21 Apr 05 - 12:34 PM

Mine taught me the Laws of Good Writing:

1. Cleave to the concrete.
2. Cleave to the Anglosaxon.
3. Relish brevity.
4.Cleave to the ineluctable.

I've never forgotten 'em, even though I am not as good at using them as she was.

She also taught me some other wonderful things -- how to cuss politely, how to understand Latin (long forgotten), how to turn the most common events into Mythic Tales, the art of Naming Things, how to bake a potato...I dunno how long the list would get if I pursued it. She also taught me to tie my shoes and hangs up my pants with the seams together and tuck in my shirt.

A

Subject: RE: BS: Lessons Learned from Mom
From: GUEST
Date: 21 Apr 05 - 12:30 PM

My mum taught me never to touch meat loaf. She's a wonderful vegetarian cook and a picture of health.

Subject: RE: BS: Lessons Learned from Mom
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 21 Apr 05 - 12:26 PM

All I really learned from my mum was to never let a guy hit you twice.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Lessons Learned from Mom
From: Uncle_DaveO
Date: 21 Apr 05 - 12:23 PM

My Mother taught me LOGIC - "If you fall off that swing
and break your neck, you can't go to the store with me."

My Mother taught me MEDICINE - "If you don't stop
crossing your eyes, they're going to freeze that way."

My Mother taught me TO THINK AHEAD - "If you don't
pass your spelling test, you'll never get a good job!"

My Mother taught me ESP - "Put your sweater on; don't
you think that I know when you're cold?"

My Mother taught me TO MEET A CHALLENGE - "What
were you thinking? Answer me when I talk to you...
Don't talk back to me!"

My Mother taught me HUMOR - "When that lawn mower
cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

Dave Oesterreich

Subject: RE: BS: Lessons Learned from Mom
From: GUEST,Bill D
Date: 21 Apr 05 - 12:13 PM

what I learned from MY mom was how NOT to make meatloaf! She was a pretty good cook, and though I was a picky eater, I liked most of what she made----except meatloaf. You could hack off a thin slice of her meatloaf and challange someone to a duel with it...*whack*...still intact....or use it for temporary shoe leather.

   She would start out determined to improve, but would look at the mixing bowl and say "It needs more bread crumbs...and another egg or two...", and voila! semi-edible naugahyde! Ketchup was NECESSARY to coat it to get it down.

What she COULD do was proofread...she could glance at a page and pick out spelling errors and grammar problems...I think I picked up a lot of my enderstanding of how language works from her guidance when I was in the early grades.