BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead???

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead???
From: Bobert
Date: 04 Jan 10 - 06:26 PM

No, I don't swing from trees, Rap... Might of fact I've cut out all of my swingin' activities...

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead???
From: Bobert
Date: 04 Jan 10 - 06:16 PM

Well, LH, if ya' believe them gene-mappin' folks I got more in common with a mouse than than I would realize... A couple tweeks here an' there on the DNA and I'd be checkin' out Minnie Mouse with a different eye in my ol' commie books... Yezzir... Check out the tail on that one, Ralph...

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead???
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Jan 10 - 06:14 PM

Bobert doesn't...well, I don't think he does...swing from trees.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead???
From: Little Hawk
Date: 04 Jan 10 - 05:35 PM

I'm tellin you, man, you have much more in common with Chongo than you realize.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead???
From: Bobert
Date: 04 Jan 10 - 05:21 PM

Well, I certainly wouldn't argue with that, LH...

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead???
From: Little Hawk
Date: 04 Jan 10 - 05:11 PM

According to Chongo, humans are cousins of apes, but not superior to them in any way.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead???
From: WalkaboutsVerse
Date: 04 Jan 10 - 05:07 PM

Maybe Chongo has just evolved on..?

Poem 96 of 230: PARADIGMS

"Thirty-all" is, in effect, "deuce";
    Nobody has seen an "atom":
An atom remains a model;
    "Thirty-all" an umpire's call.
"They we just simply had to bomb";
    And there are other given "truths"...

If we humans evolved from apes,
Why on earth are there living apes?

From http://blogs.myspace.com/walkaboutsverse (e-book)
Or http://walkaboutsverse.sitegoz.com (e-scroll)
(C) David Franks 2003

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead???
From: Bobert
Date: 04 Jan 10 - 02:46 PM

This is gettin' a tad too much for me emotionally... I mean, one day, he's dead, the next he's aline, then dead, then alive and now this... A friggin' hostage of the Taliban... Ain't this some convolted shit, 'er what... I'd say that I'd need foreignsics, you know, DNA, from Osama's boys before I spend any more emotional energy on this 'cause ya'll know that all monkeys look alike... Yeah, get the DNA...

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead???
From: Jack the Sailor
Date: 04 Jan 10 - 02:25 PM

(Afghanistan mountains AP - Apesociated Press)Chongo Held Captive by Taliban.

After the minor miracle of Chongo's having survived both IED and IUD attack he was then captured by Taliban elements near the Iranian border. At first a ransom was asked for his release but unofficial sources are now reporting that his captors are begging western governments to take him back. "Y'all can keep the filthy ape." A state department source was quoted as saying.



Hostage footage.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead???
From: Ed T
Date: 04 Jan 10 - 09:10 AM

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink. Actually, this rule applies to anyone whom you routinely humiliate with saddles, riding whips and involuntary servitude.
George MacMillan

If the world were run by monkeys -- not just any monkeys, mind you, but monkeys with the power to unite nations and resolve previously insurmountable problems -- I bet we humans would still ridicule them for their bright-red hineys.
Lisa Hollstegge

Everybody's got something to hide except for me and my monkey.
A lyric on the "White Album" by the Beatles

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead???
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Jan 10 - 08:38 AM

"How would YOU clear a room?" the deputy sheriff asked me.

"Toss in a frag and then spray it with automatic fire," I replied.

"Ah," said the deputy, "I meant in police work."

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead???
From: Bobert
Date: 04 Jan 10 - 08:27 AM

See, that is one of the reasons why I have never followed the reasonin' that Lincoln was this great president... I guess if you glorify the Civil (which it wasn't) War then, yeah, Lincoln was a great man... But war shouldn't be the a guage by which we measure greatness...

That's kinda what seperates me and Chongz if we were to become president... I'm more into findin common ground while Chongz, well, isn't... He's mnore the George W. kinda monkey, you know, shoot the joint up first and don't even bother to ask the questions later because he wouldn't understand the answers anyway...

B~

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead???
From: Little Hawk
Date: 03 Jan 10 - 11:35 PM

Crooked politicians in league with crooked lawyers can take ANY constitution on Earth and commit travesties and injustices in its supposed name.

Not that I'm saying Lincoln was a crook...I'm just saying there are always ways to get around the original intent of a constitutional document if you have sharp lawyers and determined politicians and compliant courts...not to mention a largely subservient media.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead???
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Jan 10 - 11:15 PM

There's more.

IF the states which had actually left the Union, the Emancipation Proclamation would be totally irrelevant to them. IF those states were still members of the Union (as the Union said) because secession wasn't possible, then the EP might well be unconstitutional because it took property without process of law (see the 5th Amendment). Frankly, I'm glad that Lincoln did it -- "Just as I would not be a slave, neither would I be a master."

Now consider this, the 13th Amendment:

Section 1. Neither slavery nor involuntary servitude, except as a punishment for crime whereof the party shall have been duly convicted, shall exist within the United States, or any place subject to their jurisdiction.

Section 2. Congress shall have power to enforce this article by appropriate legislation.

Note that slavery and involuntary servitude are abolished, effectively ratifying the EP. HOWEVER, note the exception "as a punishment for crime." Strictly speaking, I think you could become a slave if you were duly convicted. I really, really, really, wouldn't want to get embroiled in THAT, though!

So...those in the US who, say, are convicted of threatening the President COULD POSSIBLY PERHAPS sold into slavery?

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead???
From: Ebbie
Date: 03 Jan 10 - 04:20 PM

The Emancipation Proclamation
January 1, 1863

By the President of the United States of America:

A Proclamation.

"Whereas, on the twenty-second day of September, in the year of our Lord one thousand eight hundred and sixty-two, a proclamation was issued by the President of the United States, containing, among other things, the following, to wit:

"That on the first day of January, in the year of our Lord one thousand eight hundred and sixty-three, all persons held as slaves within any State or designated part of a State, the people whereof shall then be in rebellion against the United States, shall be then, thenceforward, and forever free; and the Executive Government of the United States, including the military and naval authority thereof, will recognize and maintain the freedom of such persons, and will do no act or acts to repress such persons, or any of them, in any efforts they may make for their actual freedom.

"That the Executive will, on the first day of January aforesaid, by proclamation, designate the States and parts of States, if any, in which the people thereof, respectively, shall then be in rebellion against the United States; and the fact that any State, or the people thereof, shall on that day be, in good faith, represented in the Congress of the United States by members chosen thereto at elections wherein a majority of the qualified voters of such State shall have participated, shall, in the absence of strong countervailing testimony, be deemed conclusive evidence that such State, and the people thereof, are not then in rebellion against the United States."

Now, therefore I, Abraham Lincoln, President of the United States, by virtue of the power in me vested as Commander-in-Chief, of the Army and Navy of the United States in time of actual armed rebellion against the authority and government of the United States, and as a fit and necessary war measure for suppressing said rebellion, do, on this first day of January, in the year of our Lord one thousand eight hundred and sixty-three, and in accordance with my purpose so to do publicly proclaimed for the full period of one hundred days, from the day first above mentioned, order and designate as the States and parts of States wherein the people thereof respectively, are this day in rebellion against the United States, the following, to wit:
Arkansas, Texas, Louisiana, (except the Parishes of St. Bernard, Plaquemines, Jefferson, St. John, St. Charles, St. James Ascension, Assumption, Terrebonne, Lafourche, St. Mary, St. Martin, and Orleans, including the City of New Orleans) Mississippi, Alabama, Florida, Georgia, South Carolina, North Carolina, and Virginia, (except the forty-eight counties designated as West Virginia, and also the counties of Berkley, Accomac, Northampton, Elizabeth City, York, Princess Ann, and Norfolk, including the cities of Norfolk and Portsmouth[)], and which excepted parts, are for the present, left precisely as if this proclamation were not issued.

And by virtue of the power, and for the purpose aforesaid, I do order and declare that all persons held as slaves within said designated States, and parts of States, are, and henceforward shall be free; and that the Executive government of the United States, including the military and naval authorities thereof, will recognize and maintain the freedom of said persons."

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead???
From: gnu
Date: 03 Jan 10 - 03:02 PM

Gosh. That is very enlightening.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead???
From: Little Hawk
Date: 03 Jan 10 - 01:45 PM

The really weird thing about the Emancipation Proclamation, according to what I've read, is that it freed slaves only in the Confederate states which were taking up arms against the Union but not the slaves in Union territory (and there were some slaves and slave owners in Union territory at that time). Thus it was an adroit political move by Lincoln, essentially strictly a propaganda move as it could obviously not be enforced upon the South at that time. It potentially threatened only the interests of the Confederacy while serving as a marvelous propaganda device to help persuade England and France not to support the Confederacy...as slavery was very much looked down upon in England and France. England and France had both been leaning toward supporting the Confederacy, as they would have preferred to see the USA split permanently into 2 weaker powers, but once Lincoln had "freed the slaves" it was no longer really possible for England and France to openly side with the Confederacy, as it would not have been politically acceptable to their general population.

The War Between the States was not being fought to free the slaves in its earlier phase. It was being fought to restore the Union, and all Lincoln's rhetoric had indicated that...until he issued the Emancipation Proclamation. At that point the war became transformed into a moral crusade to free the slaves...and this was an idea that resonated far better with both the Union population (who were angry about conscription) and the European powers than a more prosaic struggle to simply "restore the Union" (which the English and French public certainly couldn't care less about...).

It's been dressed up in far more idealistic terms since...sanitized, you might say, for modern consumption, but Lincoln did not go to war to free the slaves, he went to war to end secession and restore the Union.

In a separate matter...people also tend to forget that (some of) the defenders of the Alamo were slave owners, while the Mexican government which fought them had outlawed slavery some time previously.

There's usually more to the picture than is found in the popular eye.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead???
From: Bobert
Date: 03 Jan 10 - 01:19 PM

Actually, George W has that monkey kinda Neaderthal look to him...

No offense, Chongz... That is, if yer still alive...

B~

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead???
From: Ed T
Date: 03 Jan 10 - 01:10 PM

Posibly British historic origin....but....Some say the lincoln-monkey story orginated from David H. Strother and associates. He was born in West Virginia, was from a slave-owning family, and was opposed to secession. He was an artist and writer for Harper's Weekly who went by the pseudonym "Porte Crayon'.

Here is a cartoon attributed to him:http://www.cartage.org.lb/en/themes/arts/drawings/Cartoonography/americacaricature/AbrahamLincoln/monkey.htm

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead???
From: Ebbie
Date: 03 Jan 10 - 12:06 PM

Haven't checked it out thoroughly but I believe that the source of the Abe Lincoln chimp story is British, not American, based on "the United States government WERE", not WAS, as Americans would say. And what would they know about it? ha, I say.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead???
From: Bobert
Date: 03 Jan 10 - 10:50 AM

Well, gol danged... An Abe Lincoln monkey... What'll they think of next??? Monkey center-folds??? Monkey brain surgeons??? Monkey rocket scientists??? All monkey NFL football teams??? No, no... Monkey folks musicans...

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead???
From: Ed T
Date: 02 Jan 10 - 10:13 PM

Is there a message in here?

http://chimpage.com/blog/

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead???
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 02 Jan 10 - 10:03 PM

That is one hell of a good idea for a movie, Rap. Geez. I gotta call my pals in Hollywood and see if they know a good scriptwriter to flesh it out.

- Chongo

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead???
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Jan 10 - 09:55 PM

CHONGO CHIMP: APE OF THE UNDEAD!!

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead???
From: Little Hawk
Date: 02 Jan 10 - 09:46 PM

Oh, I see...that's sorta the way Chongo does "mental possession" too. You hafta respect that sort of thing, and it's just plain stupid not to, if you ask me.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead???
From: Bobert
Date: 02 Jan 10 - 09:19 PM

Here's how the P-Vine does it, LH... She says, "Touch my shine and I'll kill ya... Got it???"

Yeah, I know... Johnnie brought it to me but she is a shine-head... She says it's the only thing that she can use when she's feeling sickly... I think that is alot of bull but what are ya' gonna do???

I mean, a man can either be right or a man can be happy... But not both... At least married men, that is... Right there in the Bible...

B~

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead???
From: Ed T
Date: 02 Jan 10 - 08:11 PM

Maybe he was bitten by a camel spider? Or, kicked in the face by the toe of a Camel he was riding?

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead???
From: Little Hawk
Date: 02 Jan 10 - 07:45 PM

How do you take mental possession of moonshine?

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead???
From: Bobert
Date: 02 Jan 10 - 07:42 PM

I'm so confused... I mean, one minue he's dead, the next he's not... Then he supposedly posts and then Eb points out that the post is prolly done by some imposter 'cause it don't sound like Chongz... Then there's more reports of his demise excpet Bill has a piccure of him and he looks alive... But then someone says it ain't him and seein' as all monkeys look alike who really knows???

All I know is that what old-ster says about Chongz being here and me givin' him some of my moonshine ain't right at all... First of all, he ain't been here... I ain't seen him since we opened my campaign headquarters in North Carolina... Second, the P-Vine has taken mental possession of that shine and that's a bad thing fir anyone, Chongz and me included on the list, 'cause the womanz 'ill keep yer sorry ass away from her jug...

But until I hear fir sure, then I'll go on continuing to mourn and get it over with... I hate lettin' grief continue on and on and on and...

B~

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead???
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Jan 10 - 07:39 PM

Apparently he got into a sticky situation in the public library several times, and the janitor had to go free him.

Librarians talk to each other, especially about things like that.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead???
From: Little Hawk
Date: 02 Jan 10 - 07:37 PM

Oh, my....such drama!

Well, you never can tell with this sort of thing, can you?

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead???
From: Amos
Date: 02 Jan 10 - 07:23 PM

A reporter from the overseas department of the UPI just emailed me to say he had a midnight visitation from Chongo, furious about the reports of his demise and threatening to bite the face off of anyone who forwarded them. It is possible the reports were exaggerated, an honest error I am sure that can only be attributed to the fog of war. The reporter tried to tell his phantasm visitor to fuck off, but the spectre rejoined by biting a gash in his forearm for which he has now been hospitalized.

More breaking news on this scandalous story as it is becomes known. Is Chongo actually alive? Was he blown clear of the culvert? Did he spend three frozen nights and days limping over the cruel plains of Afghanistan making his way back to the Green Zone, his shoes in ribbons and his fingers thick with frostbite?

Tune in next week.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead???
From: Little Hawk
Date: 02 Jan 10 - 07:08 PM

He is definitely not Jewish. He's an Irish-Canadian mongrel of indeterminate culture and no religion whatsoever.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead???
From: Ed T
Date: 02 Jan 10 - 07:06 PM

Beware Shane, of IUD asociated injuries (graphic content follows) :


http://mymedjokes.blogspot.com/2009/09/penis-fracture-impossible.html

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead???
From: Ed T
Date: 02 Jan 10 - 06:56 PM

Just in case Sane needs this...when he gets (nude) into his ski-doo suit (never heard he was Jewish):

http://www.cirp.org/library/treatment/zipper/flowerdew/

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead???
From: Little Hawk
Date: 02 Jan 10 - 06:42 PM

How do you know?

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead???
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Jan 10 - 06:40 PM

Shame hasn't enough, well, length to be injured by anything other than his own zipper.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead???
From: Ed T
Date: 02 Jan 10 - 06:37 PM

Like the type seen omn "J-e-r-r-y", or "Maury" , or worse?

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead???
From: Little Hawk
Date: 02 Jan 10 - 06:17 PM

Any girl that gets involved with Shane is, by definition, totally lacking in caution of any kind.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead???
From: Ed T
Date: 02 Jan 10 - 06:14 PM

I suspect they would be cautious....fearing spawning a mini Shane?

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead???
From: Little Hawk
Date: 02 Jan 10 - 06:06 PM

Could be. But I don't think that the very few misguided females who have "done it" with Shane ever use those things....

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead???
From: Ed T
Date: 02 Jan 10 - 06:05 PM

I understand Shane was injured by an IUD?

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead???
From: Little Hawk
Date: 02 Jan 10 - 05:41 PM

You are quite right. There IS no arguing with an Inadequately Educated Dimwit. That is why I seldom argue with Shane. I just let him think I agree with whatever he says, and he goes off happily and does something idiotic, and I am left in peace.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead???
From: Amos
Date: 02 Jan 10 - 05:26 PM

Well, all that shows is that at some point in time (Bill does not specify) SOME chimp was alive (Bill does not say who).

Sigh. I really understand all this protestation and wishing it were not so. He was well-loved throughout our little world here.

But, as any veteran of Iraq or Afghanistan knows, when your number is up, it's up, and thee is no arguing with an IED.


A

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead???
From: Little Hawk
Date: 02 Jan 10 - 05:11 PM

LOL! A picture is worth 1,000 words, Bill. Or in the case of Amos, 100,000 words.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead???
From: Bill D
Date: 02 Jan 10 - 03:37 PM

Is Chongo dead?

No

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead???
From: Amos
Date: 02 Jan 10 - 02:54 PM

Ah, the protestations, the refusls to admit, the denials of sad truth, the desire to stop the very flow of time and make sad facts run backwards and be undone...believe me, I sympathize, I do.

All the counterfeit posts in the world won't bring Chongo back, Little Hawk, Rest easy and keep breathing...

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead???
From: Ed T
Date: 02 Jan 10 - 02:51 PM

"It was previously a question of finding out whether or not life had to have a meaning to be lived. It now becomes clear, on the contrary, that it will be lived all the better if it has no meaning" Albert Camus

"Don't go where the path may lead instead go where there is no path and leave a shit trail" the late Chongo

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead???
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Jan 10 - 02:20 PM

Erwin Schrödinger, where are you when we need you?

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead???
From: olddude
Date: 02 Jan 10 - 02:03 PM

Bob's done Kilt him with the bad Shine