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Subject: Lyr Add: CHANTAL DU CHAMPIGNON (Brian O' Rourke) From: GUEST Date: 28 Jan 05 - 07:08 AM I've been looking for this for ages, thanks for posting it, can i just ask one thing, is the attached the the correct order in which to sing this fine tune CHANTAL DU CHAMPIGNON (Brian O' Rourke) One night in a bar I was having a jar When my destiny it beckoned When a vision burst in on top of my thirst And flattened my pint in a second 'Twas a lady fair with short blonde hair And her beauty would shame all queens With her glistening lips and her twisting hips In her slim fitting Levi Jeans I got off of my stool observed my first rule I checked my fly and my fainne And got ready for a story, all glitter and glory Like Diarmuid agus Grainne Well my opening line was "Hiya Sunshine How's it goin? My name is John" And with a toss of her head this goddess said "I'm Chantal du Champignon" "Bedad" says I "You're a thoroughbred You're no cavewoman from Cavan You're exotic operatic and very aromatic So tell us what are you havin?" From the furrow on her brow I could see just how She was torn between the short and the long "I'll have an Irish Coffee and a pint of Murphy's" Said Chantal du Champignon She'd been travelling around and as yet she hadn't found No savages scouting for scalps She'd scaled the peaks of Kildare and Leix Which left her homesick for the Alps She'd seen nearly all of Donegal She'd learned "Slainte" and "Slan agus Beannacht" 'Till some racial purist who couldn't stand tourists Told her go to hell or to Connacht So here she stands with a week on her hands Before flying back to France And she'd like to get to know Galway and Mayo So boys I saw my chance I said "I'm your man, I've a Hiace van And I've damn all to do just now And my five acre farm won't come to any harm Sure the calf can milk the cow. Oh to you I'll show Galway and Mayo My privilege and my pleasure And for fear you'd grumble, sure I'll do like Cromwell And throw Clare in for good measure So to hell with the silage. Lets clock up some mileage You'll be as safe as with your Daddy" She said "I like you more than I did before I'll have a Smithwicks and a Paddy" So into the van and away we ran All along the western seaboard And the notes from her voice were twice as nice As those from any keyboard. For example, "Oh John you turn me on, You completely fill up my senses And I can see in your eyes all the stars in the skies Shining out through your contact lenses. So I pulled up the van and she said, "Oh John Please don't take it amiss" I said "That's not you'll find what I had in mind" Sure all I want to take is a kiss" Well her eyes shone bright and her teeth gleamed white And her breath it smelled of garlic And she tore into my lips like fish and chips In the shadows of Croagh Patrick In the county Clare I do declare We drank many's the tasty beverage And the intensity of our propensity Was way above the average Then I offered to show her the Cliffs of Moher And she showed me a thing or two too And in O'Connors of Doolin she said, "I'm not foolin, I want to spend my life with you. So next day we drove by creek and cove, All along the western seaboard And the music of her voice was twice as nice As the notes from any keyboard. For example: "Oh John, you turn me on You completely fill up my senses I can see in your eyes, all the stars of the skies Shining out through your contact lenses! Well after such happiness, there was no stopping us We clocked up hundreds of miles We spent thousands of hours around round towers Of various slants and styles Near passage graves and lakes and caves And historic and holy places Near saint and hero, we reduced to zero The distance between our faces Then at Poulnabrone, under twenty ton of stone We drank rainbow-coloured wines Oh, Inside that dolmen, I thought of King Solomon He could keep his concubines. Then I offered to show her the Cliffs of Moher And she showed me a thing or two too, And in a pub down in Doolin, she said "I'm not foolin I want to spend my life with you. Well the days flew fast and the week soon passed Between one thing and another And she'd a plane to catch back to Paris-Match To see her father and her mother So we loaded up the van with cheese and ham And some six packs from the fridge With a Guinness keg for the final leg Of our amourous pilgrimage. In the ruins of Clonfert, we had a little flirt. I thought I heard Saint Brendan cheerin'. And we discovered new joys in Clonmacnoise, Courtesy of Saint Ciaran. We drew into Dunlavin at twenty-five to seven And dropped in to see my Uncle Fred, Then we hit Glendalough around eleven o'clock And we slept in Saint Keven's bed. Well, the two of us were yawning as the day was dawning And it dawned on me - she was going, So we drove to the smoke where these words she spoke Before she boarded the Boeing: "I'll acquaint my parents with what's transpired, And my paltry possessions I'll pack, Then I'll return on wings of desire And up with you I'll shack." That night I flew through Athlone and Ballinasloe. I was home in an hour and a half! And though it was kinda late, I just had to celebrate, So I killed the fatted calf, And next day I booked a room for my upcoming honeymoon Where no-one would be any wiser, And in raptures and raptures, I published my nuptials In the Galway Advertiser! For six days or seven, I thought I was in heaven. I was trying it out for size, But like every other lover, I was shortly to discover 'Twas an amadán's paradise, For while I was thinking that the Kingdom had come, And was chantin' "Alleluia," Chantal was listening to a different drum And singing, "Johnny, I hardly knew ye!" "Oh, John," said she, "I quite agree That you could do with a woman, But if you think I'll be your shrink, You've got another think coming. Consider, besides, if I was your bride, In forty years, I would have no fun, For I'm no more than twenty-four And you are forty-one! "Oh, yes, I know I'll miss your eyes and your kiss And your fingers running through my hair, But if I lost my head in St. Kevin's bed, I got it back in the clear French air! I got off that jet and my parents I met And I got my act together. I saw the line they'd draw at a son-in-law Who was a middle-aged Irish header." "Oh, but as sure as I'm blonde, of you I'm still fond, And I might even write - we'll see - And I don't regret and I won't forget Our petit coin du paradis. Now, I'm in a little hurry - be happy, don't worry And think how much you have grown." And when I opened my face to plead my case, She put down the frigging phone! Oh, was she down at heel in the town of Lille Or at large in La Rochelle? Or letting down her hair in the Follies Bergere - Belly-dancing her way to hell? Was she singing the blues, below in Toulouse Or picking pockets in Perpignan? And, mein Gott! but what if her name was not Chantal de Champignon? Well, I'd lost the scent so gung-o I went To phone Monsieur Mitterand. But I couldn't connect with the President Although I threatened his aide-de-camp. Then the towel I threw, I resigned, withdrew Although I had done no wrong. Oh, I thought I had her taped - but the vixen she escaped Like Marie de Robinson! Now, an awful lot of water has been led to the slaughter Since she led me that merry dance. And I never took a wife, for I wasted my whole life Looking out for a letter from France. Oh, Chantal, Chantal, sure I love you still Like I did in the time that's gone Although you're going on eighty four And I'm tipping a hundred and one. I've outlived all my mates, and I've lost all my slates And I'm back in the oxygen tent. And my ozone holes are scoring own goals In my pitch-black firmament. There's more tears in my eyes than stars in the skies I've lost contact with my lenses. Ah but I'm sure I could get through a dark night with you And recover my soul and my senses So come all you middle-aged Irish nutters And a warning take by me. Beware when you go out to get scuttered In your local hostelry. Don't be a fool, stay up on your stool Sit tight and drink yourself stupid Give your number one to whiskey and rum And don't waste your vote on Cupid! And if by chance some goddess from France With luminous short blond hair Lights up your horizon - stick to your poison In two simple words - Beware! Make no overture, give no misguided tour 'Cause Diarmuid agus Grainne went wrong! And after all your mileage, she'll leave you sitting in your silage -Like Chantal de Champignon. Oh now, although you're jarred, please disregard The advice I gave you just then Or you'll be stuck in first gear for a hundred years Like a friggin' old farmyard hen. For when all is said and done, I once flew near the sun For one week I was a swan I was on the wing and I learned to sing With Chantal de Champignon Oh, Chantal, Chantal, I hope you're still my pal And don't think this song a blunder For I adore far more than I did before The ground you walk on - or maybe under Oh don't take a dim view - if I'm laughing at you What do you think I'm doing to me? And please God and Saint Kevin, we'l recover in Heaven Our petit coin du paradis. |
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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Chantal du Champignon From: Wolfgang Date: 22 Jan 05 - 07:25 AM Chapeau, Martin. Wolfgang |
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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Chantal du Champignon From: MartinRyan Date: 22 Jan 05 - 07:23 AM Oh now, although you're jarred, please disregard The advice I gave you just then Or you'll be stuck in first gear for a hundred years Like a friggin' old farmyard hen. For when all is said and done, I once flew near the sun For one week I was a swan I was on the wing and I learned to sing With Chantal de Champignon Oh, Chantal, Chantal, I hope you're still my pal And don't think this song a blunder For I adore far more than I did before The ground you walk on - or maybe under Oh don't take a dim view - if I'm laughing at you What do you think I'm doing to me? And please God and Saint Kevin, we'l recover in Heaven Our petit coin du paradis. Done! |
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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Chantal du Champignon From: MartinRyan Date: 21 Jan 05 - 03:51 PM And if by chance some goddess from France With luminous short blond hair Lights up your horizon - stick to your poison In two simple words - Beware! Make no overture, give no misguided tour 'Cause Diarmuid agus Grainne went wrong! And after all your mileage, she'll leave you sitting in your silage -Like Chantal de Champignon. Regards |
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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Chantal du Champignon From: colmbanus Date: 21 Jan 05 - 12:05 PM Maximum respect Martin |
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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Chantal du Champignon From: Jim Dixon Date: 21 Jan 05 - 09:07 AM Go, Martin, go! |
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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Chantal du Champignon From: MartinRyan Date: 19 Jan 05 - 06:07 PM So come all you middle-aged Irish nutters And a warning take by me. Beware when you go out to get scuttered In your local hostelry. Don't be a fool, stay up on your stool Sit tight and drink yourself stupid Give your number one to whiskey and rum And don't waste your vote on Cupid! Nearly there.... Regards |
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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Chantal du Champignon From: MartinRyan Date: 17 Jan 05 - 02:03 PM Now, an awful lot of water has been led to the slaughter Since she led me that merry dance. And I never took a wife, for I wasted my whole life Looking out for a letter from France. Oh, Chantal, Chantal, sure I love you still Like I did in the time that's gone Although you're going on eighty four And I'm tipping a hundred and one. I've outlived all my mates, and I've lost all my slates And I'm back in the oxygen tent. And my ozone holes are scoring own goals In my pitch-black firmament. There's more tears in my eyes than stars in the skies I've lost contact with my lenses. Ah but I'm sure I could get through a dark night with you And recover my soul and my senses Regards |
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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Chantal du Champignon From: MartinRyan Date: 16 Jan 05 - 05:05 PM Oh, was she down at heel in the town of Lille Or at large in La Rochelle? Or letting down her hair in the Follies Bergere - Belly-dancing her way to hell? Was she singing the blues, below in Toulouse Or picking pockets in Perpignan? And, mein Gott! but what if her name was not Chantal de Champignon? Well, I'd lost the scent so gung-o I went To phone Monsieur Mitterand. But I couldn't connect with the President Although I threatened his aide-de-camp. Then the towel I threw, I resigned, withdrew Although I had done no wrong. Oh, I thought I had her taped - but the vixen she escaped Like Marie de Robinson! Regards |
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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Chantal du Champignon From: MartinRyan Date: 14 Jan 05 - 01:01 PM A true,heartfelt Friday afternoon comment! Regards |
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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Chantal du Champignon From: GUEST Date: 14 Jan 05 - 11:11 AM I always loved that line about getting through Athlone and Ballinasloe in an hour and a half. Poetic licence at it's finest |
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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Chantal du Champignon From: MartinRyan Date: 13 Jan 05 - 03:40 PM Well the weeeks went by and there was I A wreck - by any reckoning Sure I lost two stone, sitting by the phone But the silence from France was deafening Oh my breath I bated, for the post I waited All day and all night long But ne'er a letter nor a card came up the yard From Chantal de Champignon And then I tried to make a pass at her, via our ambassador I explained I was besotted He was very sympathetic, but said something about ethics And he told me to get knotted And then I hired a spy, whose fees were high To assist my search along Well, he collected his fees but came up with no leads On Chantal de Champignon Regards |
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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Chantal du Champignon From: MartinRyan Date: 21 Dec 04 - 12:39 PM Then I staggered to the mirror and confronted with terror A pathetic poor Paddy of a peasant, And I made smithereens of her Levi jeans That she gave me for a wedding present. Then I made mincemeat of her other little treat - Two lovely blue pottery goblets - And I sat down and I wrote a suicide note And swallowed thirty-five quids' worth of tablets. A week later I awoke and my heart nearly broke For I suddenly chanced to remember I was in a proper mess, for I hadn't her address, Not to mention her telephone number. So I took a quick luck in the French phone book - It was most unsatisfactory. After all my research, I was still left in the lurch For her Daddy was ex-directory! Regards p.s. Met Brian today, as it happens. He is due to have a book of short stories published next Spring. A man of many parts - even if some need replacing, as he says himself! |
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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Chantal du Champignon From: MartinRyan Date: 21 Dec 04 - 04:32 AM I'll sort that out when I get it all done! Regards |
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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Chantal du Champignon From: GUEST Date: 21 Dec 04 - 04:28 AM Hi There, You know I've been looking for this for years. Any ideas on the repeats and order of the verses posted so far? Cheers J. |
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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Chantal du Champignon From: MartinRyan Date: 19 Dec 04 - 06:37 PM "Oh, but as sure as I'm blonde, of you I'm still fond, And I might even write - we'll see - And I don't regret and I won't forget Our petit coin du paradis. Now, I'm in a little hurry - be happy, don't worry And think how much you have grown." And when I opened my face to plead my case, She put down the frigging phone! Regards |
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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Chantal du Champignon From: MartinRyan Date: 10 Dec 04 - 12:27 PM "Oh, John," said she, "I quite agree That you could do with a woman, But if you think I'll be your shrink, You've got another think coming. Consider, besides, if I was your bride, In forty years, I would have no fun, For I'm no more than twenty-four And you are forty-one! "Oh, yes, I know I'll miss your eyes and your kiss And your fingers running through my hair, But if I lost my head in St. Kevin's bed, I got it back in the clear French air! I got off that jet and my parents I met And I got my act together. I saw the line they'd draw at a son-in-law Who was a middle-aged Irish header." Regards |
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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Chantal du Champignon From: MartinRyan Date: 09 Dec 04 - 05:04 PM Well, I danced and I sang till the night she rang. She said, "John, sit down on the sofa, For I've got some news that will give you the blues. In a nutshell, Cherie, it's over. On the plane coming back, I was told for a fact, By a man who was once your friend, That you spent two years in the loony bin, Without marbles, round the bend." "O Chantal", says I, "You were told a lie, Although it's neither here nor there. 'Twas seven years I pent in the oxygen tent With a hole in my ozone layer. But 'twas want of whoopee that had me loopy, And sure you sorted out that trouble, So apply some fire to them wings of desire And get back here on the double!" Regards |
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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Chantal du Champignon From: MartinRyan Date: 08 Dec 04 - 04:55 PM That night I flew through Athlone and Ballinasloe. I was home in an hour and a half! And though it was kinda late, I just had to celebrate, So I killed the fatted calf, And next day I booked a room for my upcoming honeymoon Where no-one would be any wiser, And in raptures and raptures, I published my nuptials In the Galway Advertiser! For six days or seven, I thought I was in heaven. I was trying it out for size, But like every other lover, I was shortly to discover 'Twas an amadán's paradise, For while I was thinking that the Kingdom had come, And was chantin' "Alleluia," Chantal was listening to a different drum And singing, "Johnny, I hardly knew ye!" Regards
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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Chantal du Champignon From: MartinRyan Date: 08 Dec 04 - 03:06 PM In the ruins of Clonfert, we had a little flirt. I thought I heard Saint Brendan cheerin'. And we discovered new joys in Clonmacnoise, Courtesy of Saint Ciaran. We drew into Dunlavin at twenty-five to seven And dropped in to see my Uncle Fred, Then we hit Glendalough around eleven o'clock And we slept in Saint Keven's bed. Well, the two of us were yawning as the day was dawning And it dawned on me - she was going, So we drove to the smoke where these words she spoke Before she boarded the Boeing: "I'll acquaint my parents with what's transpired, And my paltry possessions I'll pack, Then I'll return on wings of desire And up with you I'll shack." ... Regards
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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Chantal du Champignon From: MartinRyan Date: 06 Dec 04 - 11:38 AM Wolfgang The problem is that the layout makes it difficult to scan with OCR software! The photocopy sits in a basket on my desk, surfaces every so often and then I type some more! Regards |
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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Chantal du Champignon From: Wolfgang Date: 06 Dec 04 - 06:47 AM I just want to tell that there are people here appreciating each addition, may it only be a verse or two. Wolfgang |
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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Chantal du Champignon From: MartinRyan Date: 02 Dec 04 - 05:02 PM Then at Poulnabrone, under twenty ton of stone We drank rainbow-coloured wines Oh, Inside that dolmen, I thought of King Solomon He could keep his concubines. Then I offered to show her the Cliffs of Moher And she showed me a thing or two too, And in a pub down in Doolin, she said "I'm not foolin I want to spend my life with you. Well the days flew fast and the week soon passed Between one thing and another And she'd a plane to catch back to Paris-Match To see her father and her mother So we loaded up the van with cheese and ham And some six packs from the fridge With a Guinness keg for the final leg Of our amourous pilgrimage. Regards |
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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Chantal du Champignon From: MartinRyan Date: 29 Nov 04 - 04:51 PM Found a copy of Brian's words recently, so I'll add some more verses to the thread. We can sort out the order at the end! So next day we drove by creek and cove, All along the western seaboard And the music of her voice was twice as nice As the notes from any keyboard. For example: "Oh John, you turn me on You completely fill up my senses I can see in your eyes, all the stars of the skies Shining out through your contact lenses! ..... Well after such happiness, there was no stopping us We clocked up hundreds of miles We spent thousands of hours around round towers Of various slants and styles Near passage graves and lakes and caves And historic and holy places Near saint and hero, we reduced to zero The distance between our faces .... Regards |
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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Chantal du Champignon From: GUEST,johnryanpre@hotmail.com Date: 31 Jan 04 - 02:32 PM Hi, great to find this site. any chance of the entire lyrics getting sent to this address. it'll be a job for the summer to learn it! thans in advance john johnryanpre@hotmail.com |
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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Chantal du Champignon From: GUEST,bgeary@hohg.ie Date: 20 Jan 04 - 09:16 AM Hi its amazing I found this site. Can you please forward the lyrics to me if at all possible. Fantastic lyrics, heard it at a wedding once and nearly wet myself laughing. it was the highlight of the whole bash Respectfully yours Bryan Geary |
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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Chantal du Champignon From: patmike Date: 13 Aug 02 - 04:19 PM If you give me an e-mail address, I can get you a copy of the tape. I think you can send it to me direct without posting it to this thread, patmike |
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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Chantal du Champignon From: GUEST,colmbanus Date: 13 Aug 02 - 09:20 AM I'd love to get a copy of that tape, and the words too, obviously. Just let me know what I have to do and I'll do it. I had a copy of Chantal back in 92/93, but it was stolen along with my walkman, in O'Neill's of Suffolk St. The walkman I could get over, but no-one could replace my Chantal. |
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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Chantal du Champignon From: patmike Date: 11 Aug 02 - 02:05 PM The Club Chantal was revived in Bray, Ireland in May. About 40 people turned up and had a marvellous time. They gathered at about 4.00 p.m. on Saturday, had a few drinks and sang a few songs. Dinner was at 8.00 p.m. during which a meeting of sorts was held with varying degrees of hilarity. the aim of the Club is the promotion of comic songs, and that aim was well furthered that Saturday evening. Guest of honour was Brian O Rourke (author of the song. Other members, guests and friends turned up from Cork, Carlow, Galway, Wicklow, Tipperary etc. and a night of revelry ensued. The Club motto, "To hell with the silage" was readopted and the Club's first lady officer was elected to the post of "Queen of the levi jeans". A new spiritual adviser was appointed as well as a new official mushroom grower to the Club. Those who could make it reassembled on Sunday at Noon, where a few more pints were drunk and a few more songs, of a mellower type were sung. The Club is to reassemble in May 2003 in Macroom, Co. Cork. All will be welcome, and it is good to know that the tradition of comic song writing is still alive and well in Ireland. The words of Chantal du Champignon are available on a tape, with the words of many more of Brians songs. If anyone wants them, I can get Brian to forward them. |
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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Chantal du Champignon From: GUEST,colmbanus Date: 06 Aug 02 - 09:09 AM Another verse I seem to remember is this one
So I made a pass at her, via our ambassador |
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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Chantal du Champignon From: GUEST,Mikey joe Date: 07 Feb 02 - 07:36 AM Sorry Martin I 've been quite busy the last week or so. I do intend to finish it soon. I've also since realised that some of the verses I've posted above are in the wrong order. I was writing these down out of my head at work. But it will be complete and correct soon I promise. In the meantime if you or anyone else would like to add some verses that'd be great. Slán Mikey joe |
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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Chantal du Champignon From: MartinRyan Date: 06 Feb 02 - 03:10 PM More please! Regards |
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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Chantal du Champignon From: GUEST,Martin Ryan Date: 02 Feb 02 - 07:05 AM PatMike Good to hear that. One meeting was hosted by the South Roscommon SIngers CIrcle, in a little village called Brideswell, ouside Athlone. It was a hilarious weekend! Regards |
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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Chantal du Champignon From: GUEST,Guest, Patmike Date: 01 Feb 02 - 09:37 AM Martin, I was a member of that sub-culture, with the title of "The Mechanic" We met for about three years and had the best of craic. We had about 35 active members, and plans are being made to revive it this Spring. To me it is the best piece of comic writing I ever came across. Regards |
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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Chantal du Champignon From: GUEST,Martin Ryan Date: 01 Feb 02 - 09:21 AM An abolutely brilliant piece of work, which Brian wrote a good few years ago. Mikey Joe - just keep adding a verse or two and make them wait! At one stage a few years ago, there was a whole sub-culture around this song. Membership depended on being able to sing the damn thing through - with a lower grade if you could manage a verse. They met twice a year around Ireland. Not sure if it still exists. Regards |
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Subject: Lyr Add: CHANTAL DU CHAMPIGNON (Brian O' Rourke) From: Mikey joe Date: 01 Feb 02 - 06:48 AM From Brian O' Rourke This is only about a quarter of the song. I'll post the rest when I can or if anyone wants to continue it please do!! The song is fairly self explanatory but in its entirity goes on for twenty minutes to tell the stpory of poor Johns midlife crisis ****************************************************
One night in a bar I was having a jar |
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