Curmudgeon In Hospice - [November 2013]

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Nov 2013 [update]
From: Jeri
Date: 10 Nov 13 - 11:27 PM

Hugs from me, too.

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Nov 2013 [update]
From: ranger1
Date: 10 Nov 13 - 10:23 PM

Hugs.

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Nov 2013 [update]
From: Bat Goddess
Date: 10 Nov 13 - 10:11 PM

Thank you all for being here when we both need you. I just talked to Tom -- he wasn't awake when I called around 7pm. We said goodnight and I'll call him again in the morning. I just had a wonderful two hour conversation with a friend of ours in Ontario, Canada. There just doesn't seem to be enough time to talk to friends...there are so many more I need to connect with by phone.

Maine Dog, I've been Tom's advocate and guardian through an awful lot especially over the past 10 years. No way I'm quitting now. This is all a part of the cycle of life. I wouldn't miss it even if I could, hard as it is. When he comes home, we'll have even more support (from local services) than we've had, and I know we'll need it. And we have an incredible bunch of friends, local and (thanks to Mudcat) around the world.

If we make it to December 15th, we'll have been together for 33 years.

Oh...I've got to go to bed, I think. Good night. Tomorrow is another day...

Linn

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Nov 2013 [update]
From: Charley Noble
Date: 10 Nov 13 - 08:55 PM

Lots more hugs from Judy and I.

Charlie and Judy

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Nov 2013 [update]
From: gnu
Date: 10 Nov 13 - 07:15 PM

I am here.

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Nov 2013 [update]
From: GUEST,MaineDog
Date: 10 Nov 13 - 06:51 PM

I'm remembering the time when Gail was suffering in and out of the hospital, its not an easy job to see a spouse in difficulty.
He needs you now to be an advocate and guardian, from this fact you can call up strength that you didn't know you have.

I recently went thru a major combination of illnesses that I muddled through without realizing how serious the were. Now that I am better, I can see that I should have had more faith in the quality of the medical providers who helped me thru it all. I wasted a lot of energy worrying about insurance details that I didn't understand properly, and also medical details, because I did not have an advocate.

So, do your best in the areas of your abilities, get help from trusted friends, but understand that you are not in control of the situation, and call upon your personal higher power for wisdom and solace. (also use plenty of wine and music!)
Best of wishes for you both,
Jim

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Nov 2013 [update]
From: Noreen
Date: 10 Nov 13 - 06:34 PM

Sounds like a wonderful day, Linn. May you and Tom have many more.

Well done, the World ��

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Nov 2013 [update]
From: Bat Goddess
Date: 10 Nov 13 - 05:57 PM

If we didn't keep laughing, we'd slit our wrists...and there's no future in that.

Today was a pretty intense day -- on both ends of the spectrum. It ranged from the kind of discussion with several of Tom's doctors, his nurse, Tom and I, the kind of discussion you don't look forward to, but which is a necessity and a reality...regarding issues that really can't be postponed any further.

And a surprise gift left in the waiting room and brought in by the receptionist. The card on the top reads, "Tom and Linn, Sending love and good healing energy!" It was signed, "The World." While I suspect its origins were a little more local, it included a bottle of wine, a plum tart, a wonderful chorizo, kale and potato soup (heavily garlicked) which I'm eating right now along with a slice from the included boule. And a autumnally colored and beautifully scented bouquet.

And three waves of visiting friends, with a long visit from two of Tom's grade and high school classmates sandwiched in the middle.

Tom's energy level stayed really good throughout the visits and the conversations -- all of them -- were lively. And, even after being married to Tom for 31-1/2 years, I learned more about him.

We're both "carpe-ing the snot out of" every "diem"...

I'll know more about the immediate game plan tomorrow. Tom had moved back into bed just before I left. I'll call him in a little while and then again later to say goodnight.

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Nov 2013 [update]
From: ChanteyLass
Date: 10 Nov 13 - 05:56 PM

I hope Tom is having pleasant dreams! You might want to take a nap too and have your own pleasant dreams. Sending Light, Love, and Hugs!

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Nov 2013 [update]
From: Mrrzy
Date: 10 Nov 13 - 04:22 PM

If you take it it's not left.

A little levity to help things along.

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Nov 2013 [update]
From: gnu
Date: 10 Nov 13 - 04:16 PM

I'll take the left.

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Nov 2013 [update]
From: maeve
Date: 10 Nov 13 - 02:59 PM

Thinking of you, Linn. There's a (((hug))) for each of you flapping in the air just to your right.

Maeve

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Nov 2013 [update]
From: Bat Goddess
Date: 10 Nov 13 - 08:16 AM

I don't know whether I need to be concerned or not...

Tom was napping when I left the hospital yesterday at 3:30. I called him around 6:00 and found he was still asleep. His nurse ordered him a tuna salad sandwich and some mac & cheese for when he woke in case the kitchen was closed. When I called again at 9:30, he was back asleep. He had been awake for a little while, but all he'd wanted to eat was ice cream, which he was given.

I just called this morning (8:00-ish)...he's still asleep. I didn't talk to his nurse, but I will as soon as I get there a little later this morning. (If not sooner when I call again.)

Linn

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Nov 2013 [update]
From: ChanteyLass
Date: 10 Nov 13 - 01:34 AM

I am sure you will continue to do your best to help Tom as much as you possibly can. I wish he could be safe and at home with you.

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Nov 2013 [update]
From: maeve
Date: 09 Nov 13 - 06:57 PM

I chatted briefly with Tom this morning, Linn. Not a satisfying conversation due to background music, I think, but it was so good to as least hear his soft voice.

Love to you both,

Maeve

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Nov 2013 [update]
From: Bat Goddess
Date: 09 Nov 13 - 06:18 PM

I thought I'd get home from the hospital this afternoon and get all sorts of things done. Uh uh. Gravity is turned way up. 5:30 is a lousy time for a nap...so that's out. Will call Tom in a little while. HE was taking a nap when I left the hospital...

But I actually got some stuff accomplished during the visit. (Besides the fact that Tom said he felt more alive, alert and energetic after I got there.) Got him to order lunch, first off. And was able to sign some of the innumerable papers that seem to materialize (and, even with a template -- which he didn't have with him -- is very difficult for him).

I've been trying to put together a list of the songs Tom sang along with who he learned them from, and we made major inroads today. We also learned a lot from a cardiologist/ICD specialist who remembered Tom from when he was in the CCU after breaking his ankle a year and a half ago. (And, more importantly, I feel very confident of her analysis and input.) And got all of Jan Marx's photos from 2007 PMFF mounted and in page protectors to put in the archives. Oh, and read a bit more of "Gastronomical Me" by M.F.K. Fisher to Tom.

Linn

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Nov 2013 [update]
From: SINSULL
Date: 09 Nov 13 - 10:12 AM

One day at a time, Linn. In a way you have been given a gift, a chance to spend as much quality time together as possible.
Thinking of you both,
Mary

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Nov 2013 [update]
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 09 Nov 13 - 09:58 AM

Can you take some of this time while Curmudgeon is in the hospital to empty that room and build a ramp and have the house set up properly to receive someone who needs to be rolled from the car to the bed in a room set so he can't easily fall out of bed or fall out of the chair? I know this was your plan, but you had daily comings and goings tying up your time to make those preparations.

I hope they're able to send home a comfortable Tom, and perhaps offer a salve that, when applied, softens the obstinance of the patient about doing things in a way so it doesn't result in a fall or an extra trip up and down stairs for you. :)

SRS

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Nov 2013 [update]
From: Megan L
Date: 09 Nov 13 - 09:05 AM

Thinking of you both Days don't matter, minutes are precious

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Nov 2013 [update]
From: gnu
Date: 09 Nov 13 - 06:55 AM

"But mostly I'm thinking about what will make him happy and comfortable. I love him."

Says it all.

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Nov 2013 [update]
From: catspaw49
Date: 09 Nov 13 - 03:50 AM

I know you knew but you just turned a huge corner which Karen and I had to turn as well. There is nothing more important or precious than our time together. Great value lies in each somewhat fleeting moment........

Much Love to Both of You from Both of Us


Pat and Karen

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Nov 2013 [update]
From: Bat Goddess
Date: 08 Nov 13 - 10:19 PM

But I won't be away from a computer until I get home tonight.

Sigh. What I meant to say was either "I won't be AT a computer until I get home tonight" or "I'll be away from the computer until I get home tonight."

Anywho, I'm home...and I'm here at the computer.

Try him again, Maeve. I think actually he may have been sleeping when you called. He didn't get any sleep at all last night and was persuaded to get into bed (he was in a chair when I got there -- he wouldn't order lunch until I got there) and try to catch up on some sleep. So I read quietly at his side until I left for the Press Room session.

When I got back tonight at around 8:00 to say goodnight to him, he was asleep. He woke up long enough when I kissed him to know I was there. Asked if he wanted me to stay or if he wanted to sleep. He wanted to sleep, so I told him I'd call him in the morning. I'm pretty tired, too.

Had a, well, productive talk with his intensivist (who had been part of the team last month). Realistic talk. No, he still won't say, "Tom's got 6 months...a year...whatever..." Because, quite honestly, they DON'T know. But he basically confirmed why I've inferred from his other doctors' comments. And again, no surprises. Tom is going to die. But, then again, so am I. It's just that Tom will in all likelihood die a lot sooner than I will. Maybe not in the next week, next month... But he COULD. It's a pretty good bet he won't challenge his cousin's longevity. (She's 93.) Tom is 71. 80 is a long shot. 75, actually, is probably not likely. He could live comfortably for a year...or maybe not. He's tough. And he's stubborn.

But the fact of the matter is that Tom and I have a finite -- and limited -- amount of time left together...so every day has to count. It's not a big surprise...but it IS something that I would prefer not to be thinking about. But mostly I'm thinking about what will make him happy and comfortable. I love him.

And I have to go to bed.

Linn

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Nov 2013 [update]
From: GUEST
Date: 08 Nov 13 - 06:22 PM

wishing the best possible for both of you. Do give yourself some R&R while Tom is bein cared for by the pro's. Thinking of you.

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Nov 2013 [update]
From: billybob
Date: 08 Nov 13 - 01:33 PM

Just sending love xxxx to you both.

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Nov 2013 [update]
From: maeve
Date: 08 Nov 13 - 01:19 PM

I just tried to call Tom, but the nurse was in with him...you as well, probably. I'll try again later, Linn.

I don't make long distance calls to just anyone, you know! :)

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Nov 2013 [update]
From: Pete Jennings
Date: 08 Nov 13 - 10:33 AM

And from across the pond...

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Nov 2013 [update]
From: gnu
Date: 08 Nov 13 - 10:28 AM

Hugs here, too.

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Nov 2013 [update]
From: JudyB
Date: 08 Nov 13 - 10:00 AM

Sending hugs to you both.

~JudyB

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Nov 2013 [update]
From: Bat Goddess
Date: 08 Nov 13 - 09:52 AM

I think I just lost the stub of a post -- I was looking for the CCU phone number.

Tom can have phone calls and visitors. The CCU phone number at Wentworth-Douglass is 603-740-2294.

I talked to Tom this morning and he sounds good. I'll call again before I head over.

I've just wrapped up a few necessary phone calls, etc. and had a nice talk with Tom's cardiologist's nurse. I should be heading to the hospital soon.

I'll go right from Dover to the Press Room session this afternoon and then probably return to the hospital to say goodnight to Tom.

But I won't be away from a computer until I get home tonight.

Linn

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Nov 2013 [update]
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 08 Nov 13 - 02:20 AM

best wishes to you both

sandra

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Nov 2013 [update]
From: Bat Goddess
Date: 08 Nov 13 - 01:19 AM

Left the ER just after midnight after a talk with the hospitalist. She was in the process of admitting him to the CCU.

Not really much to report -- pretty much the same as last time. They had some problems putting a central line in, but succeeded.

It's 1:14 a.m. -- I still have to wind down a bit before I can fall asleep.

Linn

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Nov 2013 [update]
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 08 Nov 13 - 12:26 AM

That fall when he missed the wheelchair may have consequences now. I hope it is resolved quickly and easily.

SRS

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: Jeri
Date: 07 Nov 13 - 11:12 PM

Well, this completely sucks.
But he's in a place where he can get appropriate care, and maybe you can not have to worry about immediate emergencies. Still sucks.

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: ChanteyLass
Date: 07 Nov 13 - 10:40 PM

Oh, I'm so sorry that he has had to go back to the hospital.

I guess I'm back to sending you virtual hugs.

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: GUEST,laptopgnu
Date: 07 Nov 13 - 10:29 PM

Oh dear. My heart goes out.......

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: maeve
Date: 07 Nov 13 - 07:48 PM

Light and love heading to you both, Linn and Tom.

Maeve

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: Bat Goddess
Date: 07 Nov 13 - 06:06 PM

Well, I guess the thread name could be changed to "Curmudgeon In Hospital - Nov 2013"...

Tom is on his way with the EMTs back to Wentworth-Douglass Hospital.

We found out this morning that his emergency button does, indeed, work -- while I was at a doctor's appointment, Tom fell trying to get from his wheelchair into what he thought was the recliner...and ended on the floor. He got a lift assist from the Nottingham EMTs.

I was upstairs trying to decompress from the adventures of the day when I heard an unusual noise and went downstairs to investigate. Tom was on the floor close to his side of the table and his wheelchair was in the kitchen. I asked him what had happened and he said he had trouble getting out of bed. I explained that he hadn't been in bed...but he had evidently fallen asleep in the wheelchair. He was confused, but KNEW he was confused. And, even before I called 911, he came to the conclusion he needed to go back to the hospital.

So,,,he's on his way to the hospital. I've notified the emergency button people and the VNA (since he was to have both a visiting nurse and physical therapy tomorrow), posting here and and Facebook, and sending a few emails to let people know what's happening.

As soon as I finish here, I'm off to the emergency room...

Linn

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: bubblyrat
Date: 31 Oct 13 - 05:30 AM

Dear Bat Goddess,
                following my recent unplanned , painful and life-threatening sojourn in Reading Hospital ,all I can say is that you have my deepest sympathy ,and I do hope that Curmudgeon makes a speedy recovery ; my thoughts are with you both .

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: GUEST,Manuel
Date: 30 Oct 13 - 06:16 PM

Linn, although you are incredibly strong, I reach out to give you all the moral support I can muster. I have one arm wrapped around you and the other around Tom. Stay strong, good woman!

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: Bat Goddess
Date: 30 Oct 13 - 01:11 PM

Wound clinic today (definitely needed as there are a few new developments) and Tom's long-awaited appointment with his cardiologist next week. Got a list of questions that trails down to the floor...

Linn

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: GUEST,Guest-Dianne
Date: 30 Oct 13 - 10:33 AM

One of my favorite movies! I hope you enjoyed the afternoon. I too am glad to hear that Tom is feeling well.
Are there any items on the "to do" list that can be scratched off or delegated to others?

Your job is 24/7 and a hard one too.

Dianne

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: ChanteyLass
Date: 29 Oct 13 - 09:09 PM

Ditto what Sandra said. And I'm glad Tom is doing well.

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 29 Oct 13 - 06:30 PM

enjoy your movie & popcorn

sandra

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: Bat Goddess
Date: 29 Oct 13 - 02:51 PM

My "duties" for the day are almost done -- one more phone call to make on Tom's behalf. The visiting nurse this morning clarified the workings of the nebulizer, so Tom'll give it a shot.

The real point there is that NO medical person -- at the hospital, where it was prescribed, or at his PCP, where his new meds were reviewed -- has ever explained to either Tom or me why he needs it or what, exactly, it's supposed to do. (I mean, besides the obvious, that it should help in some way with his breathing.) It was just one of those unexplained things -- given at a time when the prescriber wasn't even around to ask.

Just got home from errands and I'm now going to grab a partial afternoon "off" -- I'll make a batch of popcorn and finally get to watch "A Lion In Winter" which I scored at Goodwill about a month and a half ago and haven't seen for way too many years.

I have NO idea when I'll start to feel more rested because my daily to-do list just keeps getting bigger it seems. But Tom's doing fine.

Linn

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: GUEST,Guest-Dianne
Date: 29 Oct 13 - 12:48 PM

So I'm not the only one experiencing mudcat problems, eh?

Linn,
How are you today? Are you able to grab some downtime? Is the nebulizer working? Has Tom used one before?

How is Tom doing?

I do hope you are both comfortable and more rested.

Dianne

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: Bat Goddess
Date: 29 Oct 13 - 12:11 PM

Well, it wasn't actually a duplicate message because some things had changed between posts.

Linn

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: Jeri
Date: 29 Oct 13 - 08:58 AM

Her post might be on the other thread--I'll look.

Please don't post duplicate messages in different threads.

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: Bat Goddess
Date: 29 Oct 13 - 08:23 AM

I'm not sure what happened here -- this thread was (I think accidentally) closed for a bit and guest: Dianne and my post of early yesterday has disappeared.

Dianne (and others), I use the declutter thread as my "support group" when we're in between threads on Tom's medical adventures.

Linn

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: Bat Goddess
Date: 28 Oct 13 - 04:15 PM

I just need time to watch the DVD and figure out exactly (the diagrams in the manual are pretty unclear) how the ampule of med is put into the where on the nebulizer.

The last person just left and, for the first time today, I have some breathing space. I'm going upstairs to under-react before I have to make dinner. (And NOT watch the DVD; sorry, I really need some just plain down time!)

So...Tom now has an emergency button to wear (and we've worked out a signal for accidental pushing -- they're pretty sensitive -- so that if Tom is home alone and the button is accidently depressed if he blows the whistle when they start asking questions -- they can't hear his quiet voice -- they'll know it was an accident; if they hear nothing, it's an emergency) and got everything all plugged in right and all the paperwork done. She was still here and hour and a half later when Tom's physical therapist came. After that I had time enough to make lunch and go out to pick up a prescription and gas up the car before his case manager came out to see what CFI might actually do to help us. And that would be to have an agency come out once a week and run a vacuum over the place, dust, and spiffify the kitchen and bathroom. You. Have. No. Idea. How much that would help me!!!

But there WEREN'T any free spaces in between to schlep some stuff to the cellar or get anything else accomplished today. (Well, I did get some of the books for the library sale into boxes to take to the library tomorrow...and I swept the room where the computer is and the kitchen.)

And now I have a date with a novel and reclining pose (and a cat) for a couple hours before I have to make supper.

Linn

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: GUEST,Guest-Dianne
Date: 28 Oct 13 - 11:21 AM

Good grief! You two can't seem to catch a break, much less a breath!
I haven't been able to access mudcat, so in my feeble mind I thought (hoped) you two were getting some downtime and resting comfortably.

I have never used a nebulizer, but am mechanically inclined and would be willing to take a crack at it if you don't get it up and running soon. You are probably just too overtired to make sense of it.

Dianne