punch the horse june thread

Subject: RE: punch the horse june thread
From: Oaklet
Date: 10 Jun 03 - 02:03 PM

Little Hawk.

This is the view from my roof, where I often sit with my hunting rifle. The small factory at the West end is Mr Benson's Tripe works. http://atschool.eduweb.co.uk/nelthorp/room8/intra/geograph/humberside/sferriby/pages/South%20Ferriby%201_jpg.htm

Hope you like it.

Subject: RE: punch the horse june thread
From: Noreen
Date: 10 Jun 03 - 02:00 PM

What should an international traveller expect to see upon entering the environs of South Ferriby?
Largely, the enticing brown waters (too thick to drink, too thin to plough?) of the River Humber, (liberally sprinkled with Sireen and the odd supermarket trolley), Oaklet's herd of prize bitterns, and of course, the lovely Mrs Drinkall at no 21.

Subject: RE: punch the horse june thread
From: ossonflags
Date: 10 Jun 03 - 01:02 PM

It is.

Subject: RE: punch the horse june thread
From: Bassic
Date: 10 Jun 03 - 12:59 PM

Its Chris and Clares wedding SP (late afternoon)

Subject: RE: punch the horse june thread
From: ossonflags
Date: 10 Jun 03 - 12:56 PM

There has been a slight misunderstanding as to were we are playing in June Karen.

The 13th June gig at South Ferriby is cancelled

There are two gigs on saturday 14th, one in Hessle int arternnon (wedding) one in Roos int evening (fund raiser)

The 20th June is in the "Sun " beverley fri night (start of festival)- with the lovely Nikki - so Oakley is not doing long distant playing between there and the "Moulders Arms"

And the Saturday 28th of June at the "Durty Nellies" in Hull.

Subject: RE: punch the horse june thread
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 10 Jun 03 - 12:45 PM

smallpipes-Hessle,isan,afternoon,wedding,and,Roos,is,an,evening,party.

Subject: RE: punch the horse june thread
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Jun 03 - 12:39 PM

Am I to understand that South Ferriby is a rural, bucolic, sparsely-populated area then? What should an international traveller expect to see upon entering the environs of South Ferriby?

- LH

Subject: RE: punch the horse june thread
From: smallpiper
Date: 10 Jun 03 - 12:32 PM

Its an owld North Easter saying my dear Hows your belly for spots = I hope you are in fine fettle (or good heath).

Where abouts in Hessle are Punch playing on 14th and how are they managing to be in Roos at the same time?????????

Subject: RE: punch the horse june thread
From: sweetfire
Date: 10 Jun 03 - 12:17 PM

JFH - Pot noodles are not a rip off and are good for you...i am proff of that...
SP - i only have 4 exams left, toady went ok. I aced english on monday though. But why did you ask about spots on my belly? as far as i can see i don't have any spots on my belly!!

Subject: RE: punch the horse june thread
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 10 Jun 03 - 11:18 AM

KJ-13th=Hope&Anchor,SFerriby
14th=Hessle
14th=Roos
20th-Beverley
28th=Hull

Subject: RE: punch the horse june thread
From: Noreen
Date: 10 Jun 03 - 10:57 AM

Hmmm.... Oakley/Oaklet. Is that like Victor/Victoria?
Anything you wish to share, Oaklet dear?

Sireen

Subject: RE: punch the horse june thread
From: KJ
Date: 10 Jun 03 - 09:47 AM

Where are PTH gigging in the merry month of June apart from Beverley?

Subject: RE: punch the horse june thread
From: KJ
Date: 10 Jun 03 - 09:43 AM

I have been talking to the South Merry Ferriby Reed Flagellant Society & they say they would miss Oakley/Oaklet terribly as his tireless crusade to promote the art of flagellation has increased their membership a thousand-fold.

Subject: RE: punch the horse june thread
From: GUEST,Skipjack K8
Date: 10 Jun 03 - 09:27 AM

Great, Jon, lets talk about this at your place.

Over and out

Greg

Subject: RE: punch the horse june thread
From: GUEST,Jon
Date: 10 Jun 03 - 08:30 AM

Sorry for the Norwich interruption but...

Here you go Greg.

We have found a landlord who seems really keen on live music and even has a PEL!!! The pub is "The Nelson" on Nelson St.

We met on a Monday (a bad night for some of us) this week but are moving to a Thursday with possible alternation with Wednesday before hopefully settling in on the Wednesday night. He's trying to work around existing darts fixtures at the moment but appears to like us and wants to give us a good regular home.

The same pub already has a regular session on the Tuesday night. As far as I understand it, it is mostly students from the UEA and may (or may not) be a bit of a begginners session at times. I spoke to Bill (the organiser) last night and he said he's quite happy having others dropping in and joining in so if you fancy a meet and giving it a whirl, let me know and I'll get down there.

Jon

Subject: RE: punch the horse june thread
From: smallpiper
Date: 10 Jun 03 - 08:00 AM

I also have it on good authority (the South Ferriby Straw Stocking Knitters Association) that the social life in said South Ferriby would be reduced to the pre Oaklet past-times of communal mud sifting and grass counting. Apparently there is only one person who is nostalgic for those good old days.

Subject: RE: punch the horse june thread
From: Noreen
Date: 10 Jun 03 - 05:31 AM

I have it on good authority (the South Ferriby Sluice Re-boring and Bittern Tagging Authority) that the incidence of perversion and sexual deviance in Merry South Ferriby, which is higher than anywhere else in the entire English-speaking World, would tend towards zero were Oaklet and Oaklet to decamp to Orilia.

Make of it what you will.

Subject: RE: punch the horse june thread
From: smallpiper
Date: 10 Jun 03 - 04:50 AM

Dear Little Hawk

SSSSSSSsssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh (I'm a counsellor!)I'll let you now when he's safe enough to be able to take your advice. But I fear that he would fret about his cows, the Ice breaker would be useful though (I guess).

Subject: RE: punch the horse june thread
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Jun 03 - 11:33 PM

I have heard that the incidence of perversion and sexual deviance is higher in South Ferriby than anywhere else in the entire English-speaking World! This worries me, because I am afraid that Oakley (or Oaklet) might be in some danger of losing his moral purity or being accosted in some way that might be deemed offensive and cause an upset to his state of mind that could only be cured through years and years of frightfully expensive counseling.

Perhaps he should move to a much safer place, such as my hometown of Orillia, Ontario, Canada (the "city that never wakes"). It's a nice, decent place in which to bring up your kids, eh?

- LH

Subject: RE: punch the horse june thread
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 09 Jun 03 - 09:11 PM

I'm still flummoxed by the NEUTICLES thingy. In fact, I think I'll go post something about it over on the "Mother of All BS Threads" and see if we can get a few more good flummoxes out of it.

Subject: RE: punch the horse june thread
From: GUEST,KJ
Date: 09 Jun 03 - 07:09 PM

I suggest you question the DGP's as to how an englishman mounts his bicycle. Apparently there's a couple of them so wowed by Oaklet's (or was it Oakley's)prowess that they have stayed in merry Ferriby.

Subject: RE: punch the horse june thread
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Jun 03 - 05:46 PM

Well, we're getting somewhere now. I had strongly suspected that Oaklet was closely related to Oakley, and there you are. Fascinating. I wonder if Ms Penelope Rutledge is aware of the Dagenham Girl Pipers episode? If so, there could be trouble, but I think she is in any case very distracted right now with the Malcolm Buggerol scandal which has all of Twillingsgate in a ferment, so I hear. She is attempting to gain protective custody of the sheep, Millie...Buggerol's pet/companion/muse...or whatever. It's a very B-a-a-a-a-d business indeed.

I'm glad we're making progress on the important matter of how an Englishman mounts his bicycle. I am quite excited that my theory is now 1/20 millionth of the way toward complete empirical confirmation, and I eagerly await the arrival of further evidence to support it.

The tandem unicycle remains an elusive item, but I have hopes that one may be located in Australia at any time.

I will check in again in a while and see how it's going.

Cheerio!

- LH

Subject: RE: punch the horse june thread
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 09 Jun 03 - 04:59 PM

pot.noodles.are.a.big.rip.off.

Subject: RE: punch the horse june thread
From: smallpiper
Date: 09 Jun 03 - 03:39 PM

I thought that was supplying not advising oaklet?

Subject: RE: punch the horse june thread
From: Oaklet
Date: 09 Jun 03 - 03:14 PM

Hear Hear!

Oaklet MSc
Fellow of the Royal Institute of British Food Hygienists.
Advisor on e-coli and related pathogens to the Royal Danish Court.
Dairy Farmer.

Subject: RE: punch the horse june thread
From: Les from Hull
Date: 09 Jun 03 - 02:40 PM

LH - I understand that an Oaklet is a little Oakley. And a little Oakley is more than enough for anyone. (You can get the Dagenham Girl Pipers to confirm that.)

I can usually tell where Oakley is, as the prevailing wind in this area wafts scents of Oakley over the intervening four or so miles. But the wind has shifted due west, so yer on yer own.

For your bicycle question, I can confirm that I am Englishman and operate my bicycle in that manner. Of course you'll need the views of the other 20-odd million of us to confirm your hypothosis.

It's often quite balmy in this thread, if that's any use.

Subject: RE: punch the horse june thread
From: Willa
Date: 09 Jun 03 - 02:32 PM

J9On
Have you tried any cures for your hiccups?

I'm sure there'll be plenty of suggestions from your fellow 'catters (probably some involving honey and/or cinnamon!)

Subject: RE: punch the horse june thread
From: Oaklet
Date: 09 Jun 03 - 02:19 PM

Oaklet is a version of Oakley but with added cheese and with extra wholesome grains. At the moment I am on the roof, watching for pandas with my aged hunting rifle and two of the DGPs who were rather taken with my performance yesterday and seem keen to stick around.

As I was by the men from B.A.R.T.O.N last night at Grimsby folk club. Well done Karen and Colin (It was Colin) Thompson.

Cheesy Bog Olives, anyone?

Subject: RE: punch the horse june thread
From: KJ
Date: 09 Jun 03 - 02:13 PM

There is a relationship between Oakley and Oaklet. Mr Oakley had himself cloned in order to be at two places at the same time, notably PTH & Cara gigs & also to enable him to satisfy the desires of the Dagenham Girl Pipers...too many for one man.The clone is called Oaklet and the relationship is a dynamic one with the names being used reciprocally so that no-one knows who is the original and who is the clone which sort of defeats the object.
As to where he is......I don't know. I don't know the answers to your other questions either.

Subject: RE: punch the horse june thread
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Jun 03 - 01:17 PM

I have some important questions which must be answered!

What is the relationship between Oaklet and Oakley?

Where is Oakley?

Are there any monkeys on this thread?

If not, why?

Is it true that Englishmen always mount a bicycle from the left, and always push off first with the right foot?

How can I acquire a tandem unicycle?

Is there balm in Gilead?

I will be back in one hour, and I expect to get a full response to these important concerns of mine. Thank you very much.

- LH

Subject: RE: punch the horse june thread
From: smallpiper
Date: 09 Jun 03 - 12:37 PM

well that was enthralling SF enthralling.......

Hows yer exams/belly for spots?

Subject: RE: punch the horse june thread
From: sweetfire
Date: 09 Jun 03 - 11:46 AM

lalalalalalalalalalala

(i didn't have anything interesting to say...)

Subject: RE: punch the horse june thread
From: smallpiper
Date: 09 Jun 03 - 10:57 AM

Hey Pete it sounds like she did hit a four!

Subject: RE: punch the horse june thread
From: Raggytash
Date: 09 Jun 03 - 10:20 AM

That depends very much on which end of the scapel you are.

KJ Further to your desires, Cinnamon although available nationally was a very expensive and rare item in Post Reformation Norfolk. Notably sold at Walsingham market on Shrove Tuesday it's use, because of the cost, was limited in most household to culinary ends. Only in the most wealthly households would cinnamon be used for carnal edification, although I believe there may be a reference to the same in Tyndales work "On the Obedience of a Christian Man"

Subject: RE: punch the horse june thread
From: KJ
Date: 09 Jun 03 - 09:59 AM

PS. I know Neuticles isn't really anything to do with equine prosthetics. I just like the name of the product, it sounds so harmless & very painless!

Subject: RE: punch the horse june thread
From: KJ
Date: 09 Jun 03 - 09:55 AM

Pete you really should never have built that patio. There I was thinking you were a cultured, philosophical gentleman....sigh how the mighty are fallen! Now Raggy I really am MOST interested about the use of honey in post reformation carnal practices in Norfolk, however I fear it is not for me 'cos I hate the stuff; honey that is. Could cinammon & butter be an accepatable alternative?

Subject: RE: punch the horse june thread
From: GUEST,The DeanMeister
Date: 09 Jun 03 - 09:43 AM

Karen, Edinburgh hardly noticed me.....but the complete animals that I was with, now that's a different matter. The fondest memory for me was being sat outside a pub on Rose Street, in hot sun all afternoon, watching, er, the world go by with 15 chaps, and consuming splendid ale. We pulled two hen parties off the street, as you do. Whistling at passers by, in the time honoured tradition (I never should have built that patio). Then at about 6pm, they all fell totally silent, watching a particularly fine specimen of the feminine gender walk past (with her boyfriend I might add), when somebody started clapping. It cracked me up. The entire population sat outside of the pub burst into spontanious applause, much to the poor girls embarrassment. It was polite applause, much as if she had just hit a four at cricket.

Well, I thought it was funny, anyway! More stories available on request. Such as my startling Freddy Mercury impression on Thursday night at the Karioke bar. Crazy Little Thing Called Love. And don't anybody ask me about La Vida Loca please....it wasn't my idea!

Subject: RE: punch the horse june thread
From: smallpiper
Date: 09 Jun 03 - 09:04 AM

I love the sublime intor-lechew-elereyeseration of mudcat, it brightens even the dullest day, sigh.....

Subject: RE: punch the horse june thread
From: Raggytash
Date: 09 Jun 03 - 07:48 AM

Back to form I see KJ, however wasn't this subject covered in last months thread under Equine Prosthetics. Now if you want to discuss the use of honey in post reformation carnal practices in Norfolk ........................

Subject: RE: punch the horse june thread
From: KJ
Date: 09 Jun 03 - 07:34 AM

Heard about this & thought of you guys!
NEUTICLES: the revolutionary testicular implant procedure for pets, including three models in five sizes for canines, felines, and equines.
Allows your pet to retain his natural look, self esteem and aids in the trauma associated with neutering.

With Neuticles- It's like nothing ever changed.

Sigh!!!!

Subject: RE: punch the horse june thread
From: KJ
Date: 09 Jun 03 - 07:21 AM

As with the dreaded Macdonalds burger's there's probably more nutrition in the packaging that encloses the food! Has Edinburgh recovered yet?

Subject: RE: punch the horse june thread
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 09 Jun 03 - 06:59 AM

Guinneess,is,good,for,you!
When,I,was ,a,stewed,ant,,I,lived,on,Guinness,and,nuts!

Subject: RE: punch the horse june thread
From: Sir Roger de Beverley
Date: 09 Jun 03 - 06:30 AM

No, there must be some nutrition in them. Not as much as a pint of beer, but some.

Roger (MSc food science & nutrition)

Subject: RE: punch the horse june thread
From: smallpiper
Date: 09 Jun 03 - 06:29 AM

Osson you are absolutely right HOW could I forget Andy I am now indulging in self flagilation (oakley style) as a punishment! Ow ow owowowowowowowowowowow thats better!

Giok - Sadly Joe passed away a few years ago.

Deanie - you sure you've recovered?

Subject: RE: punch the horse june thread
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 09 Jun 03 - 06:14 AM

PS,dont eat,pot,noodles,they,are,probly,the,worst,thing,you,can,eat,-no,goodness,in,them,at,all.

john[Diploma,Food-Science,&,Nutrition]!

Subject: RE: punch the horse june thread
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 09 Jun 03 - 05:49 AM

heloo,did,everybody,get,the,winner,of,the,Derby?
Next,big,bet,will,be,on,the,St,Leger,not,sure,,of,the,date,but,its,3rd,sat,,inSeptember,at,Doncaster.

Subject: RE: punch the horse june thread
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 09 Jun 03 - 05:39 AM

Hellooooo people. The Meister has returned from a jolly in the fine city of Edinburgh. What a wonderful place! Didn't want to come home.

Not bin online since last monday, I got to work at 9am, it's now 10.40 and I've only just finished trawling through the endless e-mails that I've missed, and catching up with PTH June. Can I have a lie down now, please?

Glad to hear bout the Pipes, John, can't wait to hear them.

Subject: RE: punch the horse june thread
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 09 Jun 03 - 04:18 AM

Talking of small pipes, as we were, Is Joe Hutton still with us? I had the honour of meeting him many moons ago, and still have his tape, which I bought at the time. Wonderful tunes and melodies, I carry it around in the car a lot, and it's very calming.
Giok

Subject: RE: punch the horse june thread
From: ossonflags
Date: 08 Jun 03 - 10:54 PM

Do not forget that prince among men and accordian players,Smallpipes,our own beloved Andy Watson.

Subject: RE: punch the horse june thread
From: Noreen
Date: 08 Jun 03 - 06:45 PM

Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday dearest Oaklet ♥,
Happy birthday to you!

Hope the Dagenham Girl Pipers lived up to expectations, as Colin & Karen undoubtedly did :0) (How's yer knees, chuck?)