BS: More of my inventions

Subject: RE: BS: More of my inventions
From: Donuel
Date: 26 Jul 08 - 06:03 PM

Tired of having dog walkers let their dog pee on your plants near the curb? Buy PEE Vent!   It is a urine resistant American Flag that is only 2 feet tall. 99% of dog walkers will prevent their dog from peeing on the US flag.

Subject: RE: BS: More of my inventions
From: Donuel
Date: 23 Jul 08 - 07:22 PM

Please don't mix your browns on this thread.   ewww



I had to patent this one since it is worth a lot of money...The ta da da


Tickle Me Obama doll.

Subject: RE: BS: More of my inventions
From: Gurney
Date: 23 Jul 08 - 06:11 PM

A chocolate cup for self-flavoured bedtime cocoa.

Extra-strong detergent for removing Georgiansilver's baby deposits from walls.

Subject: RE: BS: More of my inventions
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 23 Jul 08 - 04:14 PM

Non intrusive alarm clock.
A specially shaped cork to prevent the use of nappies (diapers) on babies.

Subject: RE: BS: More of my inventions
From: Bert
Date: 23 Jul 08 - 04:13 PM

If this virtual Amos can write songs then I want one.

Subject: RE: BS: More of my inventions
From: Donuel
Date: 23 Jul 08 - 04:12 PM

The virtual Amos

Subject: RE: BS: More of my inventions
From: Donuel
Date: 23 Jul 08 - 02:27 PM

Electronic laxitive : details with held by author.

Subject: RE: BS: More of my inventions
From: Donuel
Date: 23 Jul 08 - 02:26 PM

The Mudcatizer:

Mix and match songs from the vast mudcat song database to create new tunes.

Enter titles from 1 to 30, enter the change parameter from 2 to 11, select your style template AND VOILA a new tune.



Waitin for the Edmund Fitzgerald, The Midnight Revenge, Shogun Special, Wreck of the Robt. E Lee, The night they tore Grace, Amzaing Dixie etc.

Subject: RE: BS: More of my inventions
From: Donuel
Date: 23 Jul 08 - 02:06 PM

Quality decal for the real quarterpanel of your car or van that says:

Hydrogen Fuel Cell Vehicle (H2O exhaust)

Flex Fuel Vehicle (cooking oil/raw sewerage)

Helium Fusion hybrid. (no fuel ever)

Subject: RE: BS: More of my inventions
From: Donuel
Date: 23 Jul 08 - 02:00 PM

Novelty water

Actual discolored tap water from every state in the US. Collect them all.

Subject: RE: BS: More of my inventions
From: Donuel
Date: 23 Jul 08 - 01:58 PM

Cable TV Interactivater.

Instead of giving the cable company accurate feedback about every show you watch, every commericial and when you watched it...the Interactivator will send Comcast a signal that you only watch PBS 3 times a day.

When enough people use the Interactivater to conceal their TV viewing habits, the ad fees and vacuous programming will be skewed more intelligently and cause FOX to lose commerial support.

Subject: RE: BS: More of my inventions
From: Donuel
Date: 23 Jul 08 - 01:48 PM

Mortgage finder:

A data base which locates loans that have been bought, sold, bundled, financialized and churned so many times that the owner of your mortage is virtually impossible to find.

Deep within the software of this web spider search engine is a delete program that, for a huge activation fee, will remove the note and its trail from the lender's records.

Subject: RE: BS: More of my inventions
From: Donuel
Date: 23 Jul 08 - 01:34 PM

Here is an invention for total idiots without reason and whose last refuge is the bible.   The electronic "quantum 8 ball" bible verse selector.


Yep it has 3 features
1 it displays a bible quote intended only for you after you enter you birth date and confirmation/born again date.

2 it displays a quote designed just for that guy you point it at.

3 it displays a quote for decision making along select catagories.


It is designed by divine inspiration and retails for only 199.99
actual cost is 32 dollars but after advertising costs by Rev Olsen it only costs 299.99

Subject: RE: BS: More of my inventions
From: Donuel
Date: 23 Jul 08 - 01:21 PM

It is a baggie on a coat hanger, just stick it under...


TODAYS INVENTIONS

Today I thought of the GPS golfball.   6 strokes savings per round


The conversation interrupter: Peope are so god damn boring that getting out of one of their stories is somtimes difficult. Thats why forums like this are so popular, you can ignore the fuck and whaterver the fuck he is saying with no repurcussions.
But in person you can't just say shut the fuck up... ergo the conversation interrupter.
It is a speaker that fits in the crack of your ass and reproduces the sound of a car accident at great distance... or your name being called from outside... or a near subliminal recording of the boring story the guy has been telling you for the last 4 minutes. The guy gets confused like on radio delay and you take your leave in the midst of his confusion.

Wi Fi interrupter, clear the coffee house of all the jerk offs and enjoy your coffee in peace and quiet.

Subject: RE: BS: More of my inventions
From: Sorcha
Date: 19 Jul 08 - 03:15 PM

There are DOG PEE COLLECTORS? Ours just use 'grass'! Sheesh, the things you learn on Mudcat.

Subject: RE: BS: More of my inventions
From: semi-submersible
Date: 19 Jul 08 - 02:59 PM

Like the solar collectors, barometric turbines already exist using old mines or caves to store compressed air (just a few PSI but lots of volume) when grid power is discounted or wind energy available, and draw on it later to meet peak demand. It's a low-density energy storage solution, but efficient on a large scale where the mass of ground around the chamber absorbs heat from compressed air and later warms expanding air. It's the heat in the air that gives it power to expand. With portable tanks or highly-compressed air, heat of compression dissipates and you lose a lot of the energy you spent putting it in.

Ambient barometric differentials (daily air temperature driven pressure changes) are a free renewable energy source for low-power devices such as self-winding clocks. Cornelius Drebbel built one in 1610 (years before he started building submarines). Like Cox in the 1760's Drebbel powered his device by expansion and contraction of liquid, while the 1864 Beverly Clock (still working in New Zealand) lifts its weight by daily movement of a sealed air chamber diaphragm instead.

Subject: RE: BS: More of my inventions
From: Donuel
Date: 19 Jul 08 - 10:38 AM

Cell phone interrupter : It blocks reception within 100 feet of the the device.(there must be thousands of underground versions of these out there already)

Lightning collectors: With a large antenna the current at the base branches into hundreds of lines that have a capaciter so that when the current gets to the storage battery the current is less than 20,000 volts per line.


Driveways that have a ramp to a platform that slowly decsends by spinning a drivewheel that powers a electric generator.
Larger versions for stretches of overpasses.

Pipe the methane from sanitation water treatment plants to nuke plants to supplement their steam driven turbines.

Shoping cart momentum collectors that power an electric generator. (home version goes on the refridgerator door.

Barometer turbines. Uses the pressure changes to power a generator.
Since they have to be huge - use Georgian silver stripe paint to make them festive.

Casimir effect architecture (large flat plates are built into large buildings.

Use the dog pee collected with canine pee recepticles to make fertilizer.

Hyperdimensional energy recovery system. Antennas at the equatorset at a 19 degree angle.

Computer keyboard energy collectors.

Use the 3 million strong prisoner population of the united states to collect the ennergy of inmates when they do jumping jacks.

Solar powered dildos.

Ignite Jupiter, collect energy with solar cells.

Subject: RE: BS: More of my inventions
From: Sorcha
Date: 18 Jul 08 - 11:43 PM

Dual nozzle squirt bottles....we've had them at Pizza Hut for years.

Solar popcorn popper...put micro bag out in sun in Wyoming. Wait 20 mins. Have popcorn.

Subject: RE: BS: More of my inventions
From: RangerSteve
Date: 18 Jul 08 - 03:59 PM

Actually, dentists are painless these days. I've had a great fear of them ever since I was a kid, and unfortunately, avoided them unless I absolutely had to go. The last time I went, even the pain killer shot was painless.

Subject: RE: BS: More of my inventions
From: Bill D
Date: 18 Jul 08 - 03:58 PM

I have a painless dentist.....he works on me for hours and never seems to feel a thing.

Subject: RE: BS: More of my inventions
From: lefthanded guitar
Date: 18 Jul 08 - 03:54 PM

Here's what I wanna know.

If they can invent a cell phone that's as thin as a wafer, that takes pictures, talks to me, stores my calendar, does long division,
and actually works as a phone.....

why can't they invent a painless dentist!!!

In fact, why don't doctors just have one of those tri corder devices that 'Bones' McCoy used to run painlessly up and down your limbs and fix everything from your aching back to your bleeding gums!!!


Let's get on it Harvard Med grads.

Subject: RE: BS: More of my inventions
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 18 Jul 08 - 03:22 PM

Red and white striped paint.
A cordless extension lead.
A solar powered mirror.
An electric powder puff.
I could go on.

Subject: RE: BS: More of my inventions
From: GUEST,Jack the Sailor
Date: 18 Jul 08 - 03:21 PM

>>a solar powered popcorn popper using used CDs

We have one of those. We power it with a searchlight we stole from a lighthouse when we want to have fresh popcorn at night.

Subject: BS: More of my inventions
From: Donuel
Date: 18 Jul 08 - 03:09 PM

Today I sketched:

a solar powered popcorn popper using used CDs

Trench solar furnace with a water pipe with black fins running down the middle in the focus of the light (using polished aircraft aluminum from junked planes. (or used cd's or mirrors)

a 30 min. playback feature for radios. Using obsolete micro drives that only cost about 3 bucks in quantity one can press a button and search what they missed on npr or music. How many times have you said "what did they just say?

Squeeable dual spouted mustard and ketchup in one squirt.

a photo sensitive switch that goes on when exposed to shadow on either side - to help aim solar cells to track the sun. the motors run off the solar cells.

Solar Oxygen generator with carbon sink.

CPR's Canine Pee Recovery system

Mylar blend clothing