Help with parody?

Subject: RE: BS: Help with parody?
From: TerriM
Date: 07 Apr 00 - 02:45 PM

Micca, do you EVER do any work??( Good verses though :)

Subject: RE: BS: Help with parody?
From: Áine
Date: 06 Apr 00 - 07:45 PM

Well done, Micca! I knew you had it in ya. *BG*

-- Áine

Subject: RE: BS: Help with parody?
From: Micca
Date: 06 Apr 00 - 06:58 PM

As day light came creeping I went for a pee
and the guy in the mirror was not much like me
his clothing was dishevelled and smelled like twas dead
Guess who's been on the sofa and had not been to bed
had not been to bed, had not been to bed
Guess who's been on the sofa and had not been to bed

My senses are ebbing like the outgoing tide
And men with small hammers are working inside
I'm queasy and hungover and I'm sick to the core
I'll just sip this Alka seltzer till they're open once more
they're open once more, they're open once more
I'll just sip this Alka seltzer till they're open once more

I finally woke on Sunday to the sound of the drum
My wife she was shouting that to church I must come
" Drink is thy enemy" the parson did roar
so I'm off to kill my enemy and take prisoner some more
take prisoner some more, take prisoner some more
so I'm off to kill my enemy and take prisoner some more

Subject: RE: BS: Help with parody?
From: M. Ted (inactive)
Date: 04 Apr 00 - 06:35 PM

I am only here to help....

Subject: RE: BS: Help with parody?
From: Bert
Date: 04 Apr 00 - 06:04 PM

Hey M. Ted. That's good advice, I can use some of those tricks.

Thanks,

Bert.

Subject: RE: BS: Help with parody?
From: M. Ted (inactive)
Date: 04 Apr 00 - 04:35 PM

Terri,

Everyone else is showing off on your dime (and not always very impressively) but I am going to resist the temptation to write a verse, and instead give you some serious advice about writing comedy--

First--remember that they key element to comedy is surprise(or shock)--and the most common way to do that is with contrast

Note the contrasts in Amos' contribution:

His friends gather round him
Both loyal and true
And haul him by elbows
And feet to the loo

The initial image of friends loyal and true is shattered by the hauling to to loo--

and so it goes--you take them in one direction, and suddenly go somewhere else--

The surprise of your premise will get you a laugh--but then you've got to come up with another surprise that is just as good or your song stops being funny--And there is a "three on a match" idea about the subject--Introduce a subject, like" log roll", make a follow up joke, then move on--

Timing is another element--you have to create enough "air" around a punch line so that people can understand it and digest it, but at the same time, you have to keep em coming--

The "Bob Hope" formula is to have a joke every ten seconds, which, in this song, means at the end of every couplet-- They don't all have to be equally funny, but there should be a couple of real zingers during the song, and one that has the same impact as the initial gag at the end--

As you can see, most important thing is the pacing--a funny premise gives you one laugh, then you've got to keep the audience's attention for about three more minutes--

Don't worry to much though--funny songs are more entertaining than jokes, because even when it isn't funny, it's still a song!!

Subject: RE: BS: Help with parody?
From: Áine
Date: 04 Apr 00 - 03:19 PM

What does the Keeper of the Book have to do to get you people to let her know that this kind of thing is going on???

I do hope someone is going to gather up all these wonderful verses and submit them to the Songbook -- talk amongst yourselves and let me know, OK? You're all doing a wonderful job (especially you, Micca -- remember the limericks when you had your little 'tummy' problem? *BG*).

Keep up the good work everyone!!

-- Áine

Subject: RE: BS: Help with parody?
From: TerriM
Date: 04 Apr 00 - 02:21 PM

Mark, I understaand your ambivalence, I was married to an alcoholic for far too long but I'm proud that I'm able to laugh about it, he didn't leave me much else.

Subject: RE: BS: Help with parody?
From: Barbara
Date: 04 Apr 00 - 01:18 PM

Wonderful work, all. Mark, glad to hear you made it safely home from Singtime. I understand that sleep deprivation makes jet lag worse, but then maybe to doctors sleep deprivation is the way you feel all the time? Anyway, if you want to transcribe Craig's song to learn it, that's a good way, but if you want easier pickings it is here in DT.
I share your ambivalence about alcoholic songs, like the recent setting of RL Service's poem "Whoop It Up".
Blessings,
Barbara

Subject: RE: BS: Help with parody?
From: Micca
Date: 04 Apr 00 - 12:37 PM

Up close to the bar I was sat on my bum
When a loud Hooray Henry from Chelsea did come
And the peace and tranquillity wrecked with his roar
Bring me the punch ladle I'll flatten the bore.
I'll flatten the bore, I'll flatten the bore.
Bring me the punch ladle I'll flatten the bore.

Subject: RE: BS: Help with parody?
From: GUEST,Roger the skiffler
Date: 04 Apr 00 - 08:38 AM

More, Liz,don't leave us in suspense, the anticipation, like the excitement, is intense (in tents, geddit-groan)! Unless it is so horrible to recall it will give you a relapse!
RtS (who's left his other half at home in bed with a bad throat today, glad you're on the mend,Liz)

Subject: RE: BS: Help with parody?
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 04 Apr 00 - 08:24 AM

And believe me, having shared a tent with this man after a chilli, it is NO JOKE!!

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Help with parody?
From: Micca
Date: 04 Apr 00 - 08:08 AM

Coming home from the pub we did stagger and weave
And the times we fell over,well, you would not believe
Then someone suggested,to regain control
We popped in the "Star of India" for a quick Curry Roll
a quick Curry Roll, a quick Curry Roll
We popped in the "Star of India" for a quick Curry Roll

The Curry is lying in my in-tes-tines
The rumbling and farting is worse than baked beans
Its made my poor bottom as hot as the coal
Please go to the freezer and fetch a bog roll
and fetch a bog roll, and fetch a bog roll
Please go to the freezer and fetch a bog roll

for our Trans-ponders, bog roll is toilet paper and it is something of a tradition to go for a curry after drinking in the pub, and keeping the toilet roll in the fridge to ease the burning sensation afterwards is a well known joke.

Subject: RE: BS: Help with parody?
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 04 Apr 00 - 07:30 AM

TerriM, you beat me to it! But don't despair, it's been nearly 2 years now, and the Rubber Boot song hasn't progressed further than:

One tall one, one cute one, and one with a rubber suit on,
And one with a pair of boots on that came to his thighs.

It's best to try and keep the parody as similar as possible to the original - I'll have a think about it.

However, for the collective to work on, to the tune of Feelin' Groovy - there is one in existance called 'Feelin' Icky'

Slow down, you move too fast,
Got to keep the room from wheeling

Any advances??

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Help with parody?
From: Mark Cohen
Date: 04 Apr 00 - 02:11 AM

At last week's Singtime Frolics in Oregon I heard one by Craig Brandis (don't know if he wrote it or collected it) based on Fathom the Bowl called "It's Not In The Book", about people at song circles who only sing songs from Rise Up Singing. If I ever transcribe my tapes I'll post the words. Nothing to do with drunks, though.

I still haven't worked through my ambivalence regarding funny songs about drinking. Not being an alcoholic, but being a friend to some, and a physician, I just don't know...even though I am an inveterate parodist (jet lag has me -- I first typed "invertebrate"!) and love the creative process that's going on in this thread, I still just don't know...

Aloha,
Mark

Subject: RE: BS: Help with parody?
From: wysiwyg
Date: 03 Apr 00 - 09:00 PM

LOL!

Watch, buds-- First Ah get crucified for being gooder than Ah is, now no doubt Ah'll get crucified for LOL!

Jes' try keepin' me down tho!

~S~

PS, this is a MUSIC response between SONG-MAKING COLLABORATORS

Subject: RE: BS: Help with parody?
From: Margo
Date: 03 Apr 00 - 07:20 PM

Also, I have a couple of rhyming dictionaries which are sometimes helpful. One is written by a successful lyricist: "The Modern Rhyming Dictionary". That, and the mental images help me. Margo

Subject: RE: BS: Help with parody?
From: Jeri
Date: 03 Apr 00 - 06:32 PM

Here's the original, Fathom the Bowl.

Subject: RE: BS: Help with parody?
From: TerriM
Date: 03 Apr 00 - 06:26 PM

You are all terrific and I love you dearly, keep going, I feel a collective song coming on!

Terri

Subject: RE: BS: Help with parody?
From: Amos
Date: 03 Apr 00 - 05:34 PM

His friends gather round him
Both loyal and true
And haul him by elbows
And feet to the loo

And there they do leave him
Fed up with the job
And he sees, gazing skyward,
A porcelain God

He staggers and scrambles
And climbs up on one knee
And spends his night praying
Where sober men pee

I don't know the original so I can't speak for the scansion, but there are some possibilities for ye to play with.

A

Subject: RE: BS: Help with parody?
From: katlaughing
Date: 03 Apr 00 - 05:33 PM

I don't know the original, but maybe this would help?

His head it is below him, his feet stuck in the door
For him there is no other, so upward he must go
To the porcelain pot, salvation is just what he has sought
But when he dipped his head in, it weren't the Father's font!

Oh, we dipped him once, we dipped him twice
His sins he was repentin'
They all came spewing from him
In the porcelain cold as ice.

Ah, well, maybe not the last bit.

Subject: RE: BS: Help with parody?
From: Jeri
Date: 03 Apr 00 - 05:14 PM

O, maybe more appropriate:
And since he can't stand, to the loo he will roll
We hope he can manage to cradle the bowl

Subject: RE: BS: Help with parody?
From: wysiwyg
Date: 03 Apr 00 - 05:06 PM

Here-- it went,

[My father he do lie in the depths of the pub ]

[With his feet t'wards the door and his head to the hub... ]

... so next the man's friends would drag him bodily to beg intercession at the porcelain pedestal, where he would lie with one eye barely open at its base gazing up in wonder and confusing it with the Cross, and the next verse would be his rather confused prayer... oh my rhyming function just won't cooperate, but the IMAGES!!!... and he would love to be able to reach the heights he can glimpse from below, but alas is too weak a sinner to raise up... Mmario, take it!!!

...so he leaves his offering at the foot of the pedestal...

...images fading... go for it friends!

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: Help with parody?
From: Jeri
Date: 03 Apr 00 - 05:05 PM

If he snores, we just poke him, and over he'll roll?

Subject: RE: BS: Help with parody?
From: wysiwyg
Date: 03 Apr 00 - 05:01 PM

No, I think the image would be more upwardly focused, SeanM... trying to reach UP to the goal... sorry I just can't quite get the scansion...

Plead at the porcelain pedestal...

(The phrase [porcelain pedestal] is popular among USA drunkards.) (And their friends!!)

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: Help with parody?
From: MMario
Date: 03 Apr 00 - 04:59 PM

Sean - devilish....purely devilish.... I *LIKE* it....

Hope TerriM does as well.

Subject: RE: BS: Help with parody?
From: SeanM
Date: 03 Apr 00 - 04:55 PM

Heya Praise... how 'bout...

A bottle of whiskey, A bottle of gin
My ears start to ring with a discordant din
With deep religious fervor, I run for my goal
Face first in the fountain, I worship the bowl...

It's a start, maybe.

M

Subject: RE: BS: Help with parody?
From: wysiwyg
Date: 03 Apr 00 - 04:36 PM

Don't forget to add a line about "worshipping at the porcelain font" or "pedestal" there!

~S~ *BG*

Subject: RE: BS: Help with parody?
From: Bert
Date: 03 Apr 00 - 04:35 PM

Terri,

When I have problems like that with a song. First I decide how it's going to end, that is "What is the last verse going to be about". (You don't actually have to write the verse yet.} Then I'll decide what each verse is going to be about.

If the verses are still not flowing easily I'll imagine a picture, or stage setting, for each verse. Then I'll add some props to each picture.

That gives me lots of different things to use for rhymes. For example for your 'Pub' scene, you have him lying on the floor, add some sawdust, barstools, footrail, bar, pool table, dartboard, cardgame, spitoon, customers and so on 'till you have a wide choice of things that you can use to complete the verse.

Hope this helps.

Bert.

Subject: Help with parody?
From: TerriM
Date: 03 Apr 00 - 03:56 PM

I've just started writing a new parody based on Fathom the Bowl.....so far I've got

From France we do get brandy

From Jamaica comes rum

They go down quite easy then up they do come

With stout, ale and cider, I'm out of control

Pass me the tequila, I'll cradle the bowl

I'll cradle the bowl ( etc.)

My father he do lie in the depths of the pub

With his feet t'wards the door and his head to the hub...

And there I stick.... any suggestions gratefully received

Terri