BS: New member, not in Hull

Subject: RE: BS: New member, not in Hull
From: GUEST
Date: 19 Nov 02 - 12:07 AM

Ther ix a hull p8le of shit gokj on

Subject: RE: BS: New member, not in Hull
From: Oaklet
Date: 12 Jul 02 - 08:57 PM

Gary, my old dutch, will it enrich your life if I told that in 1987, I sold a perfectly good Morris Marina - WVV 590L (Linda Kelly! - A Coventry numberplate!) to the contractor who made a fortune cleaning the windows at Longleat, for £150? Hmmm, thought not. But perhaps I try to impress you too much.

August is in the diary, but I have just realised that every diary I have ever possessed has been similarly endowed with Augusts. At least I publicly admitted that I missed my accomplice on my solitary trip to Nellies. There can be no greater affirmation than posting this fact to a thread that is read by literally tens of people. My solicitor will be in possession of this detail in the morning.

Withernsea saw PTH being given the benefit of a smoke generator, and a compare from clubland, who introduced us as a "Speciality Act". We will now appear in similar circumstances as "Punch the Horse and his Amazing Radioactive Duck" It was, despite this, and all the sex afterwards, a fine evening.

Subject: RE: BS: New member, not in Hull
From: Skipjack K8
Date: 12 Jul 02 - 05:31 PM

Mrs S spotted a Morris Marina Owners Club Rally at Longleat, from over half a mile. Damn, but that woman impresses me at the strangest times.

Isn't John correct in remembering an age when one could purchase a half timbered Mini for less than £500?

I believe you are playing for the screaming ladies of Withernensea (the vernacular, I believe) at the moment, but I'm sure I just saw you with a bleeding head in Midsomer Murders.

Welcome, Daffyd, bon viveur, raconteur, and seminal pornographer.

Gary, your wife.

Oh, yes, Linda, I am proud to hold my Purple Helmet under my arm and stand four-square with Mr O. I inadvertently married Oakley whilst directly injecting nitrogen into the Humber, but I understand my old man tied an even bigger one on last time, without me there to spoil his fun. Funny how quickly we don't talk anymore. I'm filing for urine separation.

Subject: RE: BS: New member, not in Hull
From: Celtic Soul
Date: 09 Jul 02 - 08:09 PM

Welcome, Oakley.

Don't mind Guest...he/she is usually grumpy

Subject: RE: BS: New member, not in Hull
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 09 Jul 02 - 07:42 PM

Helloo Aokley -Please tell us more about this cheep insurance deal you hsve, I am paying £600 for third party only on a Lada, (fiddling bastatds!) this is a motor traders policy with Bollington Motor Insurers of Lundon, I am sure they are rippimg me off.john

Subject: RE: BS: New member, not in Hull
From: Oaklet
Date: 09 Jul 02 - 05:48 PM

Hi Caz! Our paths are to cross soon; and later in the year (if I remember our last chat correctly) at Elloughton, Will willing. Have you heard any more about this? Cara's facilitator should have confirmed something by now, but he is a whistle player. Any joy with Diedre at Trinity? Just for the record, I was forty on June 8th. Thanks for the welcome and I'll see you soon.

Subject: RE: BS: New member, not in Hull
From: Caz
Date: 09 Jul 02 - 05:20 PM

Welcome Oakly, I've been here only for a few months and feel like I've been here for ever!

Carole - OUTSIDER

Subject: RE: BS: New member, not in Hull
From: Oaklet
Date: 09 Jul 02 - 04:53 PM

Hi Giok,

Having read my drivel, I realise that I go a bit soppy on the subject of Morris Minors. You can claim a strong cultural link with the fishy city, as Barnby Moor is only 40 miles as the crow flies. So Giok in Hull, thanks for the greeting and you were lucky to find the bloody master cylinder under that plate next to the gearstick - Alec Issigonis was a gynaecologist, obviously. I assume that the things of which you speak are American Trucks. Of which I know nothing I'm afriad. Good luck.

Subject: RE: BS: New member, not in Hull
From: Oaklet
Date: 09 Jul 02 - 04:40 PM

Linda,

Coventry gone bach to Warwickshire? What are they doing? Birmingham was Warwickshire apparently until the invention of the West Midlands. I only just remember "West Bromwich Staffs" and "Oldbury, Warley, Worcs" as addresses. But this latest outrage... well no wonder you moved north.

Cannot comment on the Lycra; this is Gary's home planet. The bloody stuff brings me out in droves. Did Coventry Corporation buses used to be maroon, or was it just another erotic dream?

Subject: RE: BS: New member, not in Hull
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 09 Jul 02 - 04:37 PM

Welcome to the 2002 equivilent of The Bethlehem Asylum, {Bedlam}. Thank God there's one more non 'uller joined the fold. Never been there, but I was at a birthday bash in Barmby Moor 2 weeks ago, bit too close for comfort that! *BG*
Can't join in with all the orgasmic utterances about Moggies, once had to change the brake master cylinder on one, BLOODY 'ECK !!. I save those sort of devotional moments about vehicles for Kenworths, Peterbilts, and Western Stars, when I,m lucky enough to be stateside. Failte [Welcome] anyway....Giok [ In Scotland ]

Subject: RE: BS: New member, not in Hull
From: Linda Kelly
Date: 09 Jul 02 - 04:28 PM

I frequented many a watering hole in Kenilworth Warwick and Leamington Spa during my misspent youth -although technically a West Midlands girl until they moved Coventry back to Warwickshire. I moved north because I heard there was a better quality of lycra north of Sheffield. I have been both woefully misled and sadly disappointed.

Subject: RE: BS: New member, not in Hull
From: Oaklet
Date: 09 Jul 02 - 04:12 PM

It is great seeing them do what they were intended to do; that is, thrashing up and down the Trunk roads of the UK at top speed (although I think 70mph is pushing it for extended periods). I saw, at Blenheim, a guy who's spotless example arrived on a low loader, only to suffer the indignity of having mirrors angled beneath it so that passers-by could admire its trunnion hygeine and its lovingly - buffed nipples. It should have been a bit patched, full of gear, covered in dead flies and hurtling at ramming speed up the AI, with a couple of people grinning inside it. As mine often is. If you do the maths, there is no road tax, and you should be able to get fully comp insurance for £70 on a limited mileage. There are also bits under the bonnet that can actually be fixed cheaply should they go wrong - which they don't.

My beloved vehicle will be off to Roscommon in the summer to transport 2/3rds of Cara and its chattels and Mrs. Oakley for a holiday and to record Cara's next CD.

I can't wait.

Subject: RE: BS: New member, not in Hull
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 09 Jul 02 - 03:28 PM

My grandfather had a grey Morris van, and I could have bought one about 8 years ago but went with the 5 door Lada estate instead. The Lada is dead and buried (should have sold it 7 years ago before the bottom dropped out of the Russian Economy, could have doubled the price)because I could no longer get the parts, but I still see that Moggy van going strong.

We passed one doing about 70 mph on Friday, on the A1.... it was green.... ahhhh...... I had to stop and let it overtake just so I could drool over it a second time when I overtook it again.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: New member, not in Hull
From: Oaklet
Date: 09 Jul 02 - 03:18 PM

Liz,

It is true. Apart from being completely unsafe in a smash, it has absolutely no vices. It is practical, cheap and (in my opinion) completely gorgeous. Even Peter managed a lift in it once without having to cover his head with a blanket to hide his shame. The smell of petrol fumes and vinyl inside makes me head spin when I get in it. Honestly, it is not really an anorak thing, I just love Morris Travellers and had to get one. Do you have a Minor now or a hankering for one you had?

Subject: RE: BS: New member, not in Hull
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 09 Jul 02 - 03:02 PM

I've no connection with Hull, although I did once go there for the day and had a bloody good feed of sausage, chips and mushy peas....

You have a half timbered Morris?? Be still my beating heart.... my favourite car is the Morris Minor...

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: New member, not in Hull
From: Oaklet
Date: 09 Jul 02 - 03:00 PM

One of the most fiercely defended borders is where industrial Redditch oozes along the A435 and seeps into rural Warwickshire at a village called Studley. I had the good fortune to live there from 1988 to 1990. From memory there were 17 or 18 drinking holes in Studley which has arguably the world's most hideous supermarket dominating the centre and a claim to be the largest village in England. It was I recall the centre of world needle production during the 18th and 19th centuries. (I, of course don't mean that I recall those centuries, but I recall absorbing the knowledge - you have to careful about that sort of thing because there are pedants lurking here). I still have friends there, though I haven't been for a couple of years. It was only just Warwickshire, but Warwickshire it sure as hell was. Not Redditch, which was strangely important to the locals. So Linda, from whence didst thou hail, within the fair county that boasts a bear (down, John in Hull and get some sleep - nearly aroused the lad there) being bated as its crest?

Subject: RE: BS: New member, not in Hull
From: Linda Kelly
Date: 09 Jul 02 - 02:11 PM

Blimey, Oakley -are you a fellow Warwickshirian? From whence came you ?(I used to live near whence).

Subject: RE: BS: New member, not in Hull
From: Oaklet
Date: 09 Jul 02 - 01:41 PM

As I live and breathe Eric, I should have realised that we are playing John-in-Hull rules! That's twice I have been shown the yellow card. Firstly for the unnacceptably high drivel content and now for not being local. I had my legs criticised yesterday here. Perhaps it was because they weren't local either. See you soon!

Subject: RE: BS: New member, not in Hull
From: Eric the Viking
Date: 09 Jul 02 - 01:23 PM

Arn't you a local boy then?

This site is for local people only!

Subject: RE: BS: New member, not in Hull
From: Dicho (Frank Staplin)
Date: 08 Jul 02 - 11:06 PM

I just put -drivel- in the DT and Forum Search. More threads came up than I could count. So you have come to the right place!

Subject: RE: BS: New member, not in Hull
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 08 Jul 02 - 09:39 PM

You'll never leave!

Subject: RE: BS: New member, not in Hull
From: gnomad
Date: 26 Jun 02 - 05:14 AM

Yeah, welcome to the asylum Oakley.

Glad I read the whole thread cos I hadn't picked up that a link to ull was compulsory before, and might have got drummed out. Allright I admit it, I lived there 1960 to 1981, but I'm all better now , honest. 8-)

Subject: RE: BS: New member, not in Hull
From: Oaklet
Date: 26 Jun 02 - 03:16 AM

Guest, I now have to wipe bits of food off my screen. Thanks for the advice. And the laugh.

Subject: RE: BS: New member, not in Hull
From: GUEST
Date: 26 Jun 02 - 03:08 AM

Simple, after composing the intended message, re-read twice. Check for obvious factual and grammar errors. Correct as necessary. Now re-read again out loud and listen for comments from those around you. Remove any item which cause any reaction. Finally, place cursor over first letter, left click, run cursor down dialogue box, and press "delete".

Seems to be the only way you'll avoid adverse comment from somebody or other......... And then somebody will probably post "?"

By the way, welcome.......... you'll probably be sorry.

Subject: RE: BS: New member, not in Hull
From: Oaklet
Date: 26 Jun 02 - 02:56 AM

John in Reykjavik. I am glad you like it. The beloved vehicle is however a 1971 Morris Minor Traveller. Only once did I breathe deeply into the hood of my anorak, and attend an owners' club rally. This was at Blenheim Place, where Mrs Oakley and I won a rosette for most pissed in show. The scene was a little compulsive and obsessive for my liking, so I decided to become a musician instead. Which is a lot more balanced and healthy. Now, how do you compose a post without bloody drivelling?

Subject: RE: BS: New member, not in Hull
From: GUEST,ozmacca
Date: 26 Jun 02 - 02:20 AM

Hey, Oakley.... welcome to the home for drivel addicts. You've been and gone and done it now, haven't you? Not only have you joined, other people know who are really are! There's nothing left for it now but to emigrate. Choose your destination carefully though, because wherever you end up, there'll be Catters out there looking for you......... Going into hiding at the count of two, one...

Subject: RE: BS: New member, not in Hull
From: oombanjo
Date: 26 Jun 02 - 01:54 AM

got a call from Eric and collin earlier tonight,they are goingover to a session at the sloop (I have guests can not go)anyway its nice being called a posh B. but to put you in the picture SOUTH meens the mining villages of Stainforth and Broadway. Power to your elbow!

Subject: RE: BS: New member, not in Hull
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 25 Jun 02 - 07:51 PM

i lik Oakies car, it is an old mini with woodwen bits on it.john. I saw it last weeek in beberley in th pup car parjk.

Subject: RE: BS: New member, not in Hull
From: Oaklet
Date: 25 Jun 02 - 07:41 PM

oombanjo, I thought I'd share my displacement experiences. I have lived in Oldbury (West Midlands), Clevedon, some place in Somerset that I didn't understand and in Warwickshire before moving here. All these are definately southern. I saw the light in the end, but ran out of puff before the final push across the Humber (property prices being what they are and all). The locals think I am southern round here, but luckily, not posh because I recycle my own urine to activate my compost heap, teach fiddle to the locals and swear a bit. All with enthusiasm. I didn't play at all until 5 years ago, after a break of 15 years following very bad musical experiences and if it wasn't for this part of North Lincs, and the musical people who live here, I wouldn't be doing music now. And certainly not posting to an internet forum after partaking at a session in the Sloop at Barton. (Which was great, and a privelage). Bugger!! The drivel alarm has sounded, but I'm pressing submit regardless.

Subject: RE: BS: New member, not in Hull
From: oombanjo
Date: 25 Jun 02 - 05:15 PM

Welcome Oakley. But having moved up from the south and having been called a posh B-----D,A FEW TIMES Like the locals I now Know its --------ULL--------------

Subject: RE: BS: New member, not in Hull
From: Mr Red
Date: 25 Jun 02 - 04:36 PM

Welcome Oakley
Whats all this about 'Ull? is the "K" silent now? ***BG***

Subject: RE: BS: New member, not in Hull
From: Oaklet
Date: 25 Jun 02 - 12:52 PM

HuwG, now that's what I call a tenuous link with the Fishy City; perhaps you can let us know how things proceed with the ex-resident of the piscine metropolis. Thanks for the Dalesman's Litany.

Subject: RE: BS: New member, not in Hull
From: HuwG
Date: 25 Jun 02 - 08:52 AM

Re. my earlier post; ooops ! It wasn't the Dalesman's Lament, it was The Dalesman's Litany. The CD sleeve just said, "Trad. arr. Tim Hart".

Subject: RE: BS: New member, not in Hull
From: Oaklet
Date: 24 Jun 02 - 01:50 PM

Thanks John, that's better. Your reply to the Cara thread had me wondering if everthing was ok. I am happy and relieved to see that you are well again. It has been a warm welcome to the Madcut.

Subject: RE: BS: New member, not in Hull
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 24 Jun 02 - 01:46 PM

Hello Oakley, welcome to Madcut. It was good to see you at the weekend, somebody in Beberley said my spelling was very good, so if you don;t sure how to spill any big werds just let me now.john :-)

Subject: RE: BS: New member, not in Hull
From: Oaklet
Date: 24 Jun 02 - 01:39 PM

Linda, I bet my bottom dollar that he has an insipid pink affair with bits of fluff stuck on it. The spineless, rotten git.

Subject: RE: BS: New member, not in Hull
From: Linda Kelly
Date: 24 Jun 02 - 01:34 PM

Has Gary got a purple helmet?

Subject: RE: BS: New member, not in Hull
From: GUEST,Oakley avoiding work
Date: 24 Jun 02 - 12:33 PM

Would it not be easier to rename this forum "The Hullcat Cafe"? 'Ull is a spendid place, which I can see clearly from my house, one field away from the Humbers' muddy waters, in South Ferriby, North Lincs. Quite close to Skipjack and Gary.

Subject: RE: BS: New member, not in Hull
From: bradfordian
Date: 24 Jun 02 - 09:05 AM

Even better if you are not in KINGSTON upon ???? I once went in a boat & I believe that had a Hull, does that count me in?

Subject: RE: BS: New member, not in Hull
From: HuwG
Date: 24 Jun 02 - 09:04 AM

Never lived in Hull either, but I'm desperately trying to get a date with a girl who used to live there. Perhaps it was a mistake to serenade her with The Dalesman's Lament (sorry, don't know the original artist, CD collection not readily to hand), with its chorus:

"From Hull and Halifax and Hell, the Lord deliver me".

Subject: RE: BS: New member, not in Hull
From: C-flat
Date: 24 Jun 02 - 08:40 AM

Welcome Oakley from another U.K. mudcatter not in Hull.(Although I've been to Hull and back!)

Subject: RE: BS: New member, not in Hull
From: Pied Piper
Date: 24 Jun 02 - 06:25 AM

Greetings Oakley. I would quibble with the spelling of Hull, every one I've met from there calls it Ull. All the best PP.

Subject: RE: BS: New member, not in Hull
From: Noreen
Date: 24 Jun 02 - 06:01 AM

I've never lived in Hull... but my ex-husband was born there

...which katlaughing says is (or should be) the start of a great song

Subject: RE: BS: New member, not in Hull
From: bill\sables
Date: 24 Jun 02 - 05:52 AM

Welcome Oakley, You are just £4-50 away from Hull and even less if you walk.
Cheers Bill

Subject: RE: BS: New member, not in Hull
From: fat B****rd
Date: 24 Jun 02 - 05:12 AM

My mother-in-law lives near Hull.

Subject: RE: BS: New member, not in Hull
From: Noreen
Date: 24 Jun 02 - 05:04 AM

In the unlikely event that you are NOT in Hull (we have already ascertained in another thread that it is compulsory for all UK catters to have some connection with Hull), where are you located, Oakley? Presumably somewhere near the Humber's fair waters... perhaps you will take the opportunity of changing your addresss while Skipjack is out of the country?

!emocleW

Noreen

in Bury, Lancs

Subject: RE: BS: New member, not in Hull
From: Oaklet
Date: 24 Jun 02 - 02:50 AM

Thanks for everyone for the warm welcome, and the warning about the submission of drivel. Liz, I have the honour of being a founder member of the Purple Helmets Bicycle Display Team, although we are taking a well-earned rest until Skipjack returns from his holiday with that damned Gary feller. Nice to hear from you Eric, rest assured that I'll remain in a state of high alert until further notice. Bugger, despite all my best efforts, I've gone and done drivel again!

Subject: RE: BS: New member, not in Hull
From: Linda Kelly
Date: 23 Jun 02 - 03:02 PM

Welcome oh purple helmeted one!

Subject: RE: BS: New member, not in Hull
From: fat B****rd
Date: 23 Jun 02 - 02:56 PM

Hello and welcome.

Subject: RE: BS: New member, not in Hull
From: Eric the Viking
Date: 23 Jun 02 - 02:52 PM

'Owdo-Hows the fiddling? Greg told me about you, and his intertwining marriage-better watch out if you get close to sleeping bags!!

Cheers

Eric

Subject: RE: BS: New member, not in Hull
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 23 Jun 02 - 02:48 PM

So what's this about the Purple Helmets then? Or are you a different Oakley??

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: New member, not in Hull
From: GUEST,Bloke in the corner
Date: 23 Jun 02 - 01:07 PM

Stop it Oakley! You know it will only send you blind!

Subject: RE: BS: New member, not in Hull
From: katlaughing
Date: 23 Jun 02 - 11:07 AM

Thanks for joining in as a member and welcome.

Subject: RE: BS: New member, not in Hull
From: 8_Pints
Date: 23 Jun 02 - 10:57 AM

Welcome from another Bob (& Sue)!

Bob vG

Subject: RE: BS: New member, not in Hull
From: GUEST
Date: 23 Jun 02 - 09:40 AM

You're hardly a 'new member' mind, having been posting since August '01

Subject: RE: BS: New member, not in Hull
From: alanabit
Date: 23 Jun 02 - 09:39 AM

Welcome from me too.

Subject: RE: BS: New member, not in Hull
From: 53
Date: 23 Jun 02 - 09:32 AM

Welcome from Bob and Glenda.

Subject: RE: BS: New member, not in Hull
From: Oaklet
Date: 23 Jun 02 - 09:32 AM

Thanks Gareth! Guest, I promise to stop posting drivel.

Subject: RE: BS: New member, not in Hull
From: Gareth
Date: 23 Jun 02 - 09:27 AM

Welcome to the Madhouse !

Gareth

Subject: RE: BS: New member, not in Hull
From: GUEST
Date: 23 Jun 02 - 09:20 AM

You might feel even better if you stopped posting drivel...

Subject: New member, not in Hull
From: Oaklet
Date: 23 Jun 02 - 09:16 AM

I have taken advice from harpmaker, and decided to avoid the GUEST prefix when submitting my drivel. God I feel better now!