BS: Goralden Schnepswacker for President

Subject: RE: BS: Goralden Schnepswacker for President
From: Teresa
Date: 19 Sep 04 - 11:45 PM

Oh oh, I am no prude. I have no objection, or, at least very little, to him exposing himself, ... though it's kinda not smart.

No no, I don't want to support candidates who will "take 'em all out". If I say any more, things will get awfully glum around here, so please, carry on. :) I'll do what I can to help. ;)

T

Subject: RE: BS: Goralden Schnepswacker for President
From: CarolC
Date: 19 Sep 04 - 11:31 PM

Would you feel better about the ticket, Teresa, if I told you that Mayor Schlosnagle never exposed himself to any women?

His first conviction happened when I lived just outside the town of Accident, Maryland, the next town over from Friendsville. Spencer had indecently exposed himself to a Maryland State Trooper at the Friendsville overlook rest stop on Interstate Rt. 68. I wonder what Ward Cleaver would have had to say about old Spencer. I bet he wouldn't have told June.

Subject: RE: BS: Goralden Schnepswacker for President
From: Teresa
Date: 19 Sep 04 - 10:53 PM

I hereby withdraw my support.

If I were a man, that would be a more apt statement ...

There's a certain alliterative sound to that ticket, you have to admit.

Ok, I'd support them if they started an embassy for space colonization and were the first inhabitants of a space station. Then they could combine all the values of "Leave It To Beaver", "Father Knows Best" ... and "Space, 1999". Just none of that moon-breaking-away-stuff, though ... no one with half a brain would go for that ruse. :)

T

Subject: RE: BS: Goralden Schnepswacker for President
From: Little Hawk
Date: 19 Sep 04 - 10:42 PM

Schlosnagle is perfect! Schnepswacker and Schlosnagle...the Dream Team!!!

These two men have clearly been chosen by the Allmighty to lead America out of its malaise into a new age of peace and prosperity.

Unlike Bush and Kerry, Goralden Schnepswacker knows exactly who and what is a threat to America, and he knows exactly what to do about it. Attack 'em all! That's right, you heard it here. Goralden Schnepswacker will not pussyfoot around attacking a little country here, a little country there every couple of years or so. No siree! He will attack EVERY dang godless country that is secretly conspiring to damage America...and that means...dang near ALL of 'em. Yup. Think about it. The French hate America. Everybody knows that. The Dutch are trying to drown America. The Germans are trying to get even for the two World Wars. The Russians have always hated America. The Chinese are even worse. Then there's India! Don't get me started on India. Even Mexico has it in for America. Spain is thirsting for revenge over 1898. All Arabs hate America. Most Africans hate America. What European doesn't hate America?

You see where this is leading, don't you?

We are wasting our time shilly-shallying around taking out piddly little places like Iraq and Afghanistan. It's time to go for "The Big One" and take 'em ALL out at once, and Goralden Schnepswacker has the guts to do it!

He talks with God every night. So does Schlosnagle. God has promised them to get it right this time.

Put aside your doubts and get behind these men, because they will deliver you from darkness into a brave new world where everything is exactly the way you remember it on great shows like "Father Knows Best" and "Leave it to Beaver".

Yes sireee! Get on the bandwagon now and help America BE American!

Subject: RE: BS: Goralden Schnepswacker for President
From: Peace
Date: 19 Sep 04 - 08:59 PM

"Schlosnagle is serving his tenth term as mayor of the town of 529 people. He has been re-elected repeatedly since first winning the post in 1986 despite convictions for indecent exposure in 1992, 1993 and 1994."

He's gotta become the VP. Who else?

Carol, I read that article and I haven't stopped laughing. What a ticket.

Subject: RE: BS: Goralden Schnepswacker for President
From: van lingle
Date: 19 Sep 04 - 08:44 PM

Schlosnagle sounds like my kind of canidate, Carol and he seems to be out there getting plenty of exposure before the electorate. vl

Subject: RE: BS: Goralden Schnepswacker for President
From: CarolC
Date: 19 Sep 04 - 08:29 PM

Spencer Schlosnagle for VP.

Subject: RE: BS: Goralden Schnepswacker for President
From: Teresa
Date: 19 Sep 04 - 08:08 PM

Goralden Schnepswacker, I'm your president
You can say my name too,
When ever I go out,
The people always shout:
"There goes ... that guy ..."

T

Subject: RE: BS: Goralden Schnepswacker for President
From: Peace
Date: 19 Sep 04 - 08:07 PM

LOL

Absolutely!

Subject: RE: BS: Goralden Schnepswacker for President
From: pdq
Date: 19 Sep 04 - 07:34 PM

Doesn't he represent the Cocktail Party?

Subject: BS: Goralden Schnepswacker for President
From: Peace
Date: 19 Sep 04 - 06:26 PM

The times need change and Schnepswacker has what it takes to satisify what ails you. Vote Schnepswacker. Make the White House Schnepswacker's new home on January 20, 2005. Put a real person in the Oval Office. Remember the name: Goralden Schnepswacker. His platform? Well you might ask.

Little Hawk, as spiritual advisor to the Schnepswacker campaign, perhaps you'd be so kind as to address Gor's position on the Iraq War. As others step up to the plate, they can address and refine Gor's election speech. Our aim: To write a political speech for Schnepswacker--a speech that will at once inspire and do something else.

Let's have a real President for a change. Someone that people know and feel safe with.