Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires From: John MacKenzie Date: 09 Jan 13 - 06:22 PM Where's Wally? |
Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires From: Jack the Sailor Date: 09 Jan 13 - 06:26 PM "The Colbert Report... he's kinda too Republican fer me." George W Bush thought that. Then he hired him for the press club ball and got skewered. |
Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires From: number 6 Date: 09 Jan 13 - 06:53 PM I'm now a full time house husband biLL |
Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires From: number 6 Date: 09 Jan 13 - 06:54 PM Oh ... I forgot... gnu .... congrats .... now you can refuse entry to all those people that have caused you a lot of grief. biLL |
Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires From: Ed T Date: 09 Jan 13 - 06:58 PM We are sneaking up in numbers to the LH "thinking chickenz" thread. Keep it up. |
Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires From: Rapparee Date: 09 Jan 13 - 08:40 PM Other places need greeters as much as Wallfart does. |
Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires From: Ed T Date: 09 Jan 13 - 09:07 PM How about a greeter at Hooters? |
Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires From: Alice Date: 09 Jan 13 - 09:13 PM Congratulations, gnu! |
Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires From: Bobert Date: 09 Jan 13 - 09:19 PM Yo, gn-ze... Maybe you could get a job at Victoria Secret in some mall... I'm sure there are a bunch of hotties that need a "man's advice" as to which G-string looks better on 'um... I donno??? B;~) |
Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires From: Little Hawk Date: 09 Jan 13 - 10:51 PM That is an inspired notion. And I think gnu is admirably suited for such a position. |
Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires From: John MacKenzie Date: 10 Jan 13 - 04:34 AM Do Budweiser have any openings g? |
Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires From: Charley Noble Date: 10 Jan 13 - 07:53 AM Transcript of the Interview: Knock, knock! "Who's there?" "Gnu!" "Gnu, who?" It's all downhill from there... Cheerily, Charley Noble |
Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires From: Little Hawk Date: 10 Jan 13 - 11:42 AM "So, what's gnu?" |
Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires From: Bill D Date: 10 Jan 13 - 12:30 PM It may be more fun studying greeters than being one. |
Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires From: Bill D Date: 10 Jan 13 - 12:34 PM I take it back.. YOU may be eminently suited for the job. |
Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires From: Pete Jennings Date: 10 Jan 13 - 12:59 PM Seems a lot of trouble just to get a blue vest... |
Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires From: John MacKenzie Date: 10 Jan 13 - 01:04 PM So were you tired before? |
Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires From: Ed T Date: 10 Jan 13 - 01:05 PM I once bought a car that my neighbour was retiring. When I asked him about his old, used car. He replied that I should not look at it that way that, "you should not see it as old or overly used, but just that it is just "gnu-to-you". |
Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires From: Beer Date: 10 Jan 13 - 04:03 PM Dead on Walter. Good laugh Bill. ad. |
Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires From: Nigel Paterson Date: 10 Jan 13 - 04:29 PM Gnu, I need to know which Walmart so I can get my hug & pat on the back! Wishing you the happiest of retirements, you deserve it, Love & Hugs, Nigel. |
Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires From: gnu Date: 10 Jan 13 - 04:45 PM Mustang ranch sounds good, Rap. But, In all the h/motels I stayed at, the rule from the manager regarding partying with the staff was, "Don't fuck any of the staff." and I assume it's the same at the ranch, moreso for employees. John, not gonna work at Bud but I do have my app in for the NB Liquor Commission. I figure it would save me a shitload in gas. Bobert... hahahahaa... the reason I find that sooo funny is that during my second summer of work at Kmart, I was receiver-checker for TWO departments (17 year old kid relaces 2 grown men - pissed off a bunch of people) and one was ladies wear. When I had slack time (on accounta I was a hard worker) the dept manager would say to me, "Go get the blue light, lad and we'll have some fun." He "took me under his wing." >;-) I'd get the rig with the revolving blue light and he would announce a "blue light special" on the PA. Dresses or whatever but the best was swimsuits. I'd haul some racks near the dressing room and put up the sign for cheap stuff. Ladies would come, try stuff on, walk OUT of the rooms because there was only one mirror. They would ask a man's opinion and Mr. Mills would always say, "I think one or two sizes smaller would look much better." And it did! I did the pension paperwork done today and I get my first pension cheque issued and mailed Jan 25... BUT... the gubmit does not differentiate between the min and max withdrawl in my "Life Income Fund" in year one so the bastards get 20% at source so I can't play the low income game until next year. So the tour of Antarctica will have to wait. NOW! for the BIG news. I shall don the Blue Vest on Monday after I see my ENT. Buddy just said, "Greeter? Why?" I asked if there was an opening in sporting goods. Not right now. "Do I get first shot?" Of course he said yes. "Can I be a greeter a few shifts a week until then?" We shook on it. Now I gotta find some pins. All I have is my Irish Association of NB pin. A greeter has to have a LOTTA pins on his vest if he is gonna look cool for the laaadies, eh? |
Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires From: Little Hawk Date: 10 Jan 13 - 04:48 PM Shane probably has a whole lot of hot tips on how you can chat up the women, gnu. He considers himself the world's foremost authority on that. |
Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires From: Bobert Date: 10 Jan 13 - 05:16 PM I lovin' it, gn-ze... The feets is gonna hurt tho so be sure to get some Dr Scholls inserts for all that standin'... Also, be sure to get the latest tie-pin camera so ya' can snap a few cuties comin'... ...an' goin'... Get my drift here??? Also, no matter how much you might want to say "Nice tits" to some hottie that ain't yer job and could get ya' in trouble so... ...refrain, if you possibly can... B;~) |
Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires From: gnu Date: 10 Jan 13 - 05:21 PM Bobert... but I can still look, right? Maybe sunglasses? Hey, I need them for my eye problem, eh? What eye problem? Staring at nice tits... it's not really a problem for me but? |
Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires From: frogprince Date: 10 Jan 13 - 07:01 PM Have you considered getting a little mirror to put on top of one of your shoes? |
Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires From: Bobert Date: 10 Jan 13 - 07:05 PM Of course he has, f-prince... B;~) |
Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires From: framus Date: 10 Jan 13 - 07:22 PM Enjoy a long and lecherous retirement - fight again soon! |
Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires From: Ed T Date: 10 Jan 13 - 07:27 PM Nothing could be sweeter than to see the gnu greeter, at the walmart. He'll smile and greet the ladies, and then check out their titties, at the walmart. |
Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires From: gnu Date: 10 Jan 13 - 09:33 PM Froggy... us lads from Kent County don't need no mirrors! We justs shines up our gum rubber boots. Minds me... I was at a dance up Kent County and I was askin the lasses fer a kiss if I could tell the colour of their panties after a dance. I was gettin kisses galore! on accounta I had me brand new gummies spiffy shined up. WAXED! fer the dance! Well, seems them lasses got ta talkin in the wee lasses room an one that I hadn't danced with says she'll fix me an she takes her panties off. I asked her ta dance and when I made the offer and she accepted and when I snuck a peek at me gummies fer ta tell the colour of er panties I passed out... fainted dead away me son! I woke up when someone threw cold water in me face and, first thing, I looked at me gummies and said, "Oh, thank Jaysus. I thought I had a crack in me new rubber boots." |
Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires From: gnu Date: 10 Jan 13 - 09:43 PM ollaimh... fuck off you ignorant piece of shit... call me racist one more time with no basis, as you have done before, and I will fuck you over... I will make it my FULL time job in my retirement you fucking asshole. I am well educated, intelligent NOT racist and *I* have some fucking manners. That don't mean I wouldn't kick your ass if you talked to me like that in person you trash. |
Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires From: Crowhugger Date: 11 Jan 13 - 12:49 AM Annnywayz on a cheerier note: Way to go, I'm so happy for you, gnu! And if, in a moment of weakness I should stroll into your greeting zone, please toss me right back out the door, being sure to kick my behind firmly enough to bring me back to my sense! |
Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires From: Megan L Date: 11 Jan 13 - 03:51 AM Gnu behave yersel or ah'll gie ye a skelp ahve telt ye afore no tae bite trolls spit it oot they diny taste good and are usually poisononous. Everybody but everybody knows Gnus roots are in Ireland it would appear Ollaimh has heard too many musichall Irish jokes which are very racist. By the way lad happy retirement better of getting a job in the library the lassies stand still longer |
Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires From: Alaska Mike Date: 11 Jan 13 - 04:10 AM Welcome to the good life, gnu. If you ever get down to the gulf coast of Florida, I've always got a spare bedroom and an ice cold, home made brewski. Congrats! BTW, who the hell is this dickwad, Ollaimh? Let me know if I can hold him for you. |
Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires From: gnu Date: 11 Jan 13 - 01:20 PM Thanks for all the well wishes and congrats. Megan... me" behave" Of course I will... you know me. Alaska Mike! Nice to hear from you. Not too often we do. Even IF I needed someone to hold him, it wouldl't be right for you to do it... the pissmire would probably die of fright. I know I wouldn't want those bear paws on ME! Florida sounds reeeeal good for the very reasons you lest WaaaaayUP there. One of my curling buddies has offered to lend me a load pins he collected all over Canuckistan but I refused. What if I got mugged in the parking lot for my Blue Vest and lost all his pins? I'd be devastated! |
Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires From: skarpi Date: 12 Jan 13 - 01:52 AM dear friend , enjoy your new job ...it has a lot of life :) ... all the best Skarpi Iceland . |
Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires From: gnu Date: 12 Jan 13 - 04:59 PM Well! So much for that! I got a call from my "new" boss. The Greeter supposed to come at 4PM today called in sick... could I come in and work 4 to 10PM and we'd do the paperwork Monday? I said 4:30 and it was a deal. I was excited! I got my Blue Vest and started smiling. At 5PM, my new boss's young... ahhh... whatever the hell manager he is... says... "Somebody just puked all over a sink in the men's room. Grab the cart from the janitor's closet and clean it." I said that I didn't think that whs what I was hired to do, that I am a greeter. He said it's part of "other duties as assigned from time to time." I asked why the janitor couldn't do it. Gone to supper. I asked why a stockboy or a cart boy couldn't do it. He said, "Do it." and walked away. Now. I am 55 years old and I know what that shit is about. I went to the locker room, got my jacket, left my key in the lock and walked away too. Did't say shit to anyone. Called me Mum and told her. She said, "Well, you can watch the football." ???!!! I forgot that after US college football is over, NFL football is played on Saturday TOO!. So, the game is on my TV, I am having an ale, and I am watchin the game as a Sharp Dressed Man. . Tomorrow, I shall explore other alternatives. I was thinking about seeing a career consultant but those guys are just bullshit artists who tell you... hey!...YEAH!... a career in being a career consultant! I am GAME! I am definitely qualified. Not on the scale of some the emminently qualified bullshit artists that grace this forum with their, ahhh, musings, but I can hold a candle to their farts and illuminate. Now THAT was a bullshit call... it was a SCORING PLAY and there was pass ineteference and they DID NOT REVIEW IT? WTF are the RULES for if ya don't follow them? I like being retired. Fuck Walmart. |
Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires From: Bobert Date: 12 Jan 13 - 05:30 PM I hate to say it, gn-ze, but I knew you weren't Walmart material... Too many I.Q. points bouncing 'round in yer squash... I mean, let's examine exactly what it was you liked about being a Walmart greeter... Let's see... Oh yeah, chicks... I think you need to check out the department stores and maybe work in the woman's shoe department... They won't hire you to work the undies department so forget that idea... Feets ain't bad... Okay, sometimes they are... But most okay... And some, like, ahhhhh, really okay... And no puke... Here's another idea... Drive a cab... You get to set yer own hours pretty much and you will meet some chicks... B~ |
Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires From: gnu Date: 12 Jan 13 - 06:35 PM I got offered $60 cash for an 8 hour shift drivin cab from a buddy. I said coool... 4AM to noon? He said late night to whenever. I said, same deal as when you asked me to (YEARS ago) play Rhan and sing and tell jokes to spell you off on your gigs and wouldn't pay me shit???... no thanks at any money will I drive cab at night, Bobert... that's a good way to meet the kinda girls I dono't go wit and riff-raff. Fookin Irish, eh? Women's shoes? Nahhh... bad knees. Even if I could look up their skirts... >;-) |
Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires From: Bobert Date: 12 Jan 13 - 06:46 PM Danged, gn-ze... Bummer... I'll keep thinkin' of stuff... I still like the cab driver idea... I did it my first year in college... It was real flexible... I picked my hours... The only thing the cab company required was you had to check out the cab for at least 4 hours... Airport cab companies are safe... B~ |
Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires From: John MacKenzie Date: 13 Jan 13 - 05:12 AM Gotta know where y'all are going to drive a cab. g ain't made up his mind yet ;) |
Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires From: gnu Date: 18 Jan 13 - 05:50 PM Got my first pension cheque yesterday. Bought a bunch of beer and snacks for the retirement party. Went to the bank to deposit it. It's postdated 25 Jan... but the beer was cold and the wings were fresh so I considered them NOWdated. I am having leftovers as I type. Well, wings. Had ta buy fresh beer. The leftover stuff was stale. >;-) |
Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires From: freda underhill Date: 31 Jan 13 - 05:57 PM how's it going there in re-tirement land gnu? glad you ditched the spew + I'm looking forward to your next exciting adventure. |
Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires From: Bobert Date: 31 Jan 13 - 06:13 PM Here's another idea, gn-ze... Male escort service... There are plenty of ol' broads out there who need a little eye candy to escort them to parties, shoppin', etc... Just remember to say "no" when they take you shopping and ask you if the dress they are trying on makes their butt look big... B;~) |
Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires From: Ed T Date: 31 Jan 13 - 06:48 PM Did you celebrate your personal retirement party in the nude? |
Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires From: GUEST Date: 31 Jan 13 - 06:57 PM REtirement land has sucked for the past six hours or so... another PC crash. I am on on old machine I had to update and update and coaz and kick to get to my email and from there... an HOUR to get here. I gave up on seekin employment until after the Stupidbowl on Sunday.... well... it may be Tuesday or later depeding on how good the "game" is. Bobert... I got the shopping thing down as far as groceries go. I know the price of all staples and hundreds of items at the the big three. And, as fer big butts, well, I was a receiver-checker for men's and lady's wear departments at Kmart for two months as I replaced the r-cs of those departments the summer I was 17 years old. Wrote about it here before.... always got my work done no sweat and Mr. Miller, manager of lady's wear, would put on a blue light special and we would stand near the dressing rooms. Swimsuits specials and sun dress specials and HALTER & TUBETOP specials were my favs. The lasses would come out and say, "I need a man's opinion?" Mr. Miller would say, "You could easily wear a size smaller... probably two sizes smaller." You do the math! |
Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires From: Donuel Date: 31 Jan 13 - 09:34 PM If you are an an inventive engineer with a conscience you might easily out do President Carter and his work with habitat for humanity. Are there needs you have thought of fullfilling? Prankster? hint: posting professional signs of a Walmart coming soon to this location along with a fake county zoning exception notification, and putting them in swanky neighborhoods or historic parklands. Design the gravity electric generator that charges solar systems at night or simply light areas at night? Engineer a psych adversity training device that would prevent men from saying anything really stupid about women? |
Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires From: Sandra in Sydney Date: 31 Jan 13 - 11:32 PM excellent ideas, Donuel sandra |
Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires From: Amos Date: 01 Feb 13 - 04:22 AM Design a monster chomper that can take a landfill and turn it into vaporized particles which it then sorts into bins for reuse, hey? A marine drive that works off salt, and hydrogen, hey? A rooftile that harvests energy,, hey? A improved tidal generator, hey? Brains like your are a terrible thing to waste. |
Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires From: Ebbie Date: 01 Feb 13 - 12:22 PM In retirement I have contemplated applying for a demo job in our local Costco. Not sure what it pays - beginning wage for a Costco worker is $17 but demo folks actually work for a contractor, not Costco itself. Beats being a greeter, and allows for a personality. |
Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires From: Bill D Date: 01 Feb 13 - 12:34 PM "...allows for a personality." Umm... there's such a thing as 'too much personality'. |