Subject: Folk songs appropriate for medical students From: Marylytel#seanet.com Date: 26 Apr 98 - 12:11 AM Hi ALL: A friend of mine is putting together a group of folk songs that could be sung by medical students while going through medical school. I thought this might be a great place to get some suggestions. I have already checked the database but it is hard to know what to search for because so many different songs could fall into this type of category. Any song titles, lyrics or URL's would be appreciated. My friend has just retired from being a doctor after many years and is now trying to put something together to teach to medical students. He said it was many a times that folk music got him through many years ago when he was studying to become a doctor and he wants to share this with students today. Thanks, Mary
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Subject: RE: Folk songs appropriate for medical students From: Art Thieme Date: 26 Apr 98 - 12:25 AM "Free And Equal Blues" --Josh White Any of the songs by that urologist who sings the blues---Urethra Franklin! ;-) |
Subject: RE: Folk songs appropriate for medical students From: murray@mpce.mq.edu.au Date: 26 Apr 98 - 06:46 AM Don't forget "Dr Freud". It is in the database. I was taught it while I was a mathematician for a biochemical research institute by somebody who was taught it..... It circulated through the medical and related schools and was recorded by (I think) the Kingston Trio. Murray |
Subject: RE: Folk songs appropriate for medical students From: John Nolan Date: 26 Apr 98 - 08:51 AM And then comes the doctor, the worst of them all, Saying, "What's been the matter with you all the fall?" He'll tell you he'll cure you of all your disease, When the money he's got, you can die if you please, And it's hard, hard times. (Verse from Newfie song, Hard Times) |
Subject: RE: Folk songs appropriate for medical students From: Ralph Butts Date: 26 Apr 98 - 09:05 AM The Doctor's Lament (you'll find it in the database) is a good place to start. I have a wonderful version by Oscar Brand which he calls simply "The Portions of a Woman."....Tiger |
Subject: Lyr Add: SHORTNIN' BREAD From: Sheye Date: 26 Apr 98 - 10:35 AM SHORTNIN' BREAD
Mama's little babies love shortnin', shortnin'
Three little babies, lyin' in bed
Mam's little babies... |
Subject: RE: Folk songs appropriate for medical students From: Barbara Date: 26 Apr 98 - 11:51 AM Try searching Mark Cohen (click). He's an ex medical student (that is to say Doctor) and has a bunch of stuff in the data base (click). If he's on the mailing list, I haven't checked yet, he also has a song that is simply (!) the names of prescription medicines set to the tune of Modern Major General from Pirates of Penzance. Barbara |
Subject: RE: Folk songs appropriate for medical students From: Alice Date: 26 Apr 98 - 12:14 PM "St. James Infirmary" "Locke Hospital" "The Sailor Cut Down In His Prime" "Streets of Laredo" "Bard of Armagh", "The Dying Cowboy" "Coo Coo U" Alice, in Montana |
Subject: RE: Folk songs appropriate for medical students From: Bruce O. Date: 26 Apr 98 - 12:48 PM "The worms crawl in, the worms crawl out", Carl Sandburg |
Subject: RE: Folk songs appropriate for medical students From: Susan of DT Date: 26 Apr 98 - 02:00 PM Use the search box above. a search for @medicine got 17 hits and a search for doctor got over a hundred. |
Subject: RE: Folk songs appropriate for medical students From: dwditty Date: 26 Apr 98 - 03:02 PM Don't forget "(Put de Lime in de) Coconut" - Nilsson Doctor Robert - The Beatles Rock and Roll Doctor - Little Feat The Dentist's Wife - Fred Koller |
Subject: RE: Folk songs appropriate for medical students From: Barry Finn Date: 26 Apr 98 - 06:18 PM The Black Cook, Barry |
Subject: RE: Folk songs appropriate for medical students From: murray@mpce.mq.edu.au Date: 27 Apr 98 - 08:25 AM Well if you want to get desperate there is the Carter Family's "Chewing Gum"
I wouldn't marry a doctor Murray |
Subject: RE: Folk songs appropriate for medical students From: Bert Date: 27 Apr 98 - 09:03 AM Found a Peanut |
Subject: RE: Folk songs appropriate for medical students From: rosebrook Date: 27 Apr 98 - 10:56 AM Miss Lucy had a baby, she named him Tiny Tim. She put him in the bathtub, to see if he could swim.
He drank up all the water, he ate up all the soap.
Miss Lucy called the doctor, Miss Lucy called the nurse.
"Mumps!", said the doctor, "measles!" said the nurse. Maybe not the best to operate by, but awfully good for jumping rope! ; ) Rosebrook |
Subject: RE: Folk songs appropriate for medical students From: Bill D Date: 27 Apr 98 - 01:04 PM from "When Dalliance was in Flower and Maidens Lost Their Head" [The Tunbridge Doctors, or, Four Able Physicians]
"From fair London town, there have lately come down, more to follow, gotta go double-check to be sure I remember all the verses...
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Subject: RE: Folk songs appropriate for medical students From: Tim Jaques tjaques@netcom.ca Date: 27 Apr 98 - 07:03 PM Didn't Oscar Brand have a few bawdy medical student songs on some of his bawdy LP's? |
Subject: RE: Folk songs appropriate for medical students From: murray@mpce.mq.edu.au Date: 27 Apr 98 - 08:38 PM I wish I could remember more verses to this song:
Doctor and Doctor Jones (Cho) Murray |
Subject: RE: Folk songs appropriate for medical students From: northfolk Date: 28 Apr 98 - 01:13 PM Joel Mabus, one of the finest musicians and songwriters in Michigan, is currently doing a song [The Druggist] in his act. I am not sure that it is recorded. He rhymes acetaminophen with..? the song is a challenge to keep up with...audiences love it. it certainly fits this category...wish I could give more details. |
Subject: RE: Folk songs appropriate for medical students From: Bruce O. Date: 28 Apr 98 - 01:46 PM Surgery was originally done by barber surgeons and there are some barber ones noted in my broadside index. Do gelders count, too? 'The Tunbridge Doctors' (Four Able Physicians) is in 'The New Academy of Compliments', 1669 (unique copy in Folger Shakespeare Library), and 'Wit and Drollery', 1682, and with music (Packington's Pound) in 'Pills to Purge Melancholy'. ABC's for 3 versions of "Packington's Pound" are B362-4 on my website. |
Subject: RE: Folk songs appropriate for medical students From: judy Date: 28 Apr 98 - 02:47 PM I think it was either Tom Lehrer (and possibly the Animaniacs) who I heard sing the periodic table elements to the tune of the Pirates of Penzance. I may have it somewhere. enjoy! judy |
Subject: Lyr Add: THE ELEMENTS (Tom Lehrer)^^ From: judy Date: 28 Apr 98 - 03:07 PM And here it is: To the tune of "I am a modern Major General" THE ELEMENTS There's antimony, arsenic, aluminum, selenium, And hydrogen and oxygen and nitrogen and rhenium, And nickel, neodymium, neptunium, germanium, And iron, americium, ruthenium, uranium, Europium, zirconium, lutetium, vanadium, And lanthanum and osmium and astatine and radium, And gold, protactinium and indium and gallium, And iodine and thorium and thulium and thallium. There's yttrium, ytterbium, actinium, rubidium, And boron, gadolinium, niobium, iridium, There's strontium and silicon and silver and samarium, And bismuth, bromine, lithium, beryllium, and barium. There's holmium and helium and hafnium and erbium, And phosphorus and francium and fluorine and terbium, And manganese and mercury, molybdenum, magnesium, Dysprosium and scandium and cerium and caesium. And lead, praseodymium and platinum, plutonium, Palladium, promethium, potassium, polonium, And tantalum, technetium, titanium, tellurium, And cadmium and calcium and chromium and curium. There's sulphur, californium and fermium, berkelium, And also mendelevium, einsteinium, nobelium, And argon, krypton, neon, radon, xenon, zinc and rhodium, And chlorine, carbon, cobalt, copper, tungsten, tin and sodium.
These are the only ones of which the news has come to Harvard,
Thank goodnes I didn't have to type all that in! There's a Tom Lehrer website out there. Sorry don't have the URL
enjoy! |
Subject: RE: Folk songs appropriate for medical students From: Bruce O. Date: 28 Apr 98 - 04:29 PM There's one missing, not counting 3 that the last I knew didn't have names yet (104, 105, and 106). Lr above is #102. |
Subject: RE: Folk songs appropriate for medical students From: Bruce. O. Date: 28 Apr 98 - 04:31 PM Sorry, Lr is #103. |
Subject: RE: Folk songs appropriate for medical students From: Paul Stamler Date: 28 Apr 98 - 04:39 PM Logan English recorded a song (by Oscar Brand?) called "The McBurney Square" [or "Appendectomy Country Style"], which is an anatomically correct description of an appendectomy. The only release of which I'm aware is on a 2-LP set from Columbia Special Products in the '60s called "Medicine, Mind and Music". It's a real stitch. Peace. Paul |
Subject: RE: Folk songs appropriate for medical students From: Mary Date: 28 Apr 98 - 05:16 PM Thanks for all the replies so far...they are just perfect for what my friend, the newly retired doctor and soon to be folk song teacher, is looking for. As soon as I teach him how to post his own message, he jump in this discussion to! Thanks again and please keep posting the ideas. |
Subject: RE: Folk songs appropriate for medical students From: RS Date: 28 Apr 98 - 10:11 PM Then there's the old favourite anatomy review: Head and shoulders, knees and toes Knees and toes, knees and toes Head and shoulders, knees and toes Eyes, ears, mouth and nose! |
Subject: RE: Folk songs appropriate for medical students From: Pauline Lerner Date: 28 Apr 98 - 11:16 PM I was never a medical student, but I was a research biochemist for years. While spending hours dissecting rats, my colleagues and I amused ourselves by singing such songs as "Here I stand, heart in hand..." (Beatles), "I've got a lot of liver to do," "Dem bones gonna rise again," and "So lung, it's been good to know you." My apologies for grossing out all you non biomedical types. Pauline |
Subject: RE: Folk songs appropriate for medical students From: Catfeet Date: 29 Apr 98 - 12:06 AM How about the Monty Python Medical Love Song? That ought to count for some good STD's. Catfeet |
Subject: RE: Folk songs appropriate for medical students From: murray@mpce.mq.edu.au Date: 29 Apr 98 - 03:06 AM I listened to the Carter Family song again. Between each of the verses I gave there is a chorus:
Chewin' chawin' gum This makes it a more self-contained song without the other verses. Speaking of grossing out: There is an old parody on the popular song Jealousy called "Leprosy". I (happily) don't remember much of it--just one verse.
Leprosy, I suffer from leprosy but the rest isn't any better. Murray |
Subject: RE: Folk songs appropriate for medical students From: Bruce O. Date: 29 Apr 98 - 10:05 AM Pauline, above, is also a fiddler. |
Subject: RE: Folk songs appropriate for medical students From: Carl Date: 29 Apr 98 - 11:22 AM "Cod Liver Oil", not really medical, but sort of that. "Self-curing", at least for me. It cured me from listening pop stuff only, for it has been on my first Dubliners record which made me become a folk freak (from the view of my friends...). |
Subject: RE: Folk songs appropriate for medical students From: Bert Date: 30 Apr 98 - 05:00 PM Auntie Maggie's Remedy |
Subject: RE: Folk songs appropriate for medical students From: Clarke Date: 02 May 98 - 01:40 AM To Bill D, Thank you for the portion of the song you sent regarding songs appropriate for medical students. This is what I am looking for. Could you send me more verses and possibly a source that I could track down? Please send any other songs or ideas you may have. Thanks, Clarke |
Subject: RE: Folk songs appropriate for medical students From: Clarke Date: 02 May 98 - 01:50 AM Art Thieme, Thank you Art for your contribution to songs appropriate for medical students. Do you know where I can find any songs by Urethra Franklin? Clarke |
Subject: RE: Folk songs appropriate for medical students From: alison Date: 02 May 98 - 09:35 PM Hi, My hubby reading over my shoulder just suggested "The first cut is the deepest." "Fever" "Mack the Knife", "The foot bone's connected to the ankle bone.......etc." [Dem Bones/Dry Bones] or what about the Peter Sellers & Sophia Loren one...... "My heart goes boom-biddy-boom-biddy,boom-biddy-boom-biddy,boom-biddy-boom-biddy,boom boom boom!!" Possibly called, "(Well) Goodness Gracious Me." Slainte Alison |
Subject: Lyr Add: LIKE A SURGEON (Weird Al Yankovic/Madonna From: alison Date: 02 May 98 - 09:40 PM Hi, Here's another classic from Weird Al Yankovic. (Obviously sung to the tune of "Like a virgin."
LIKE A SURGEON
I finally made it through med school.
I was last in the class,
Hey, like a surgeon,
Better give me all your gauze, nurse,
Let me see that IV
Like a surgeon, hey!
It's a fact. I'm a quack.
Like a surgeon, hey!
Like a surgeon, ooh hoo, like a surgeon, Enjoy Slainte Alison |
Subject: RE: Folk songs sung by medical students and doctor From: Clarke Date: 07 May 98 - 06:06 PM From: cgdaniels@mindspring.com (Clarke Daniels) Subject: Medical Folk Music
Hi, Clarke Daniels MD |
Subject: Lyr Add: THE FOUR ABLE PHYSICIANS^^ From: Bill D Date: 07 May 98 - 11:08 PM The complete verses to the song above...sorry I lost track of finishing it...from a set of records of Elizabethan bawdy songs put out by Oscar Brand in the 60s...There was also a songbook published with most of the songs in it...I have the book and the condensed set of records... THE FOUR ABLE PHYSICIANS
You maidens and wives and young widows rejoice
"From fair London town, there have lately come down,
"They have a new drug that is called the close hug
In the morning you need not be robbed of your rest,
"On your back you must lie, with your belly raised high
On silver or gold they never lay hold |
Subject: Lyr Add: YOU'RE GONNA NEED THAT PURE RELIGION^^ From: Nora Date: 08 May 98 - 12:36 AM I checked, and "You're gonna need that pure religion" has a verse about a doctor. ch: Yr gonna need that pure religion hallelu Yr gonna need that pure religion hallelu Yr gonna need that pure religion pure religion take you home to heaven Yr gonna need that pure religion hallelu Mother & father by the bed a cryin hallelu Mother & father by the bed a cryin hallelu Mother & father by the bed a cryin Said, Lord have mercy our child is dyin Yr gonna need that pure religion hallelu Doctor standing lookin sad hallelu Doctor standin lookin sad hallelu Doctor standin lookin sad Let the lord have mercy our child is dead Yr gonna need that pure religion hallelu chorus See that train comin round the curve hallelu See that train comin round the curve hallelu See that train comin round the curve Now she is strainin every nerve Yr gonna need that pure religion hallelu From Lucinda Williams "Ramblin" Smithsonian Folkways 1991 reissue Nora |
Subject: Lyr Add: My God How the Money Rolls In^^ From: John in Brisbane Date: 08 May 98 - 01:40 AM I may have missed it, but I haven't seen any mention of 'My God How The Money Rolls In' with: My brother's a medical student, With instrument's long, sharp and thin, He only knows one operation, My God how the money rolls in. Regards John |
Subject: RE: Folk songs appropriate for medical students From: Pauline Lerner Date: 08 May 98 - 02:28 AM Another verse to "Oh Lord How the Money Rolls In"
My grandpa makes cheap prophylactics |
Subject: RE: Folk songs appropriate for medical students From: Pauline Lerner Date: 08 May 98 - 02:36 AM This one probably doesn't fit the definition of a folk song (whatever that is), but it has been chanted by generations of med students to remember the names of the cranial nerves. Unfortunately, I only know the clean version. Maybe someone can help with the other, more popular version. On old Olympus's topmost top, a Finn and German valtz and hop. The first letter of each word is also the first letter of the name of a cranial nerve. Pauline |
Subject: RE: Folk songs appropriate for medical students From: Celtic-End Singer Date: 08 May 98 - 09:12 AM I was very interested to learn of your compiling of a medical folksong collection. As a medical student myself it would be really great if you could send me a copy when it's all done. I'm quite willing to pay for any (reasonable) expenses etc. Cheers! |
Subject: RE: Folk songs appropriate for medical students From: dick greenhaus Date: 08 May 98 - 10:06 PM Medical Mnemonics- (CRanial nerves) On old Olympus' towering top A fast-assed German Viewed a hop. My favorite is the one for the bones in the foot: Never lower Tillie's pants; mother may come home. |
Subject: RE: Folk songs appropriate for medical students From: Clarke Date: 09 May 98 - 10:50 PM To Bill D, Nora, John in Brisbane, Pauline Lerner, Celtic-EndSinger, and Dick Greenhaus: Thank you all for your contributions to "Songs Appropriate for Medical Students." Medical mnemonics was an excellent idea that had not occurred to me. I became nostalgic as I recalled the names of the cranial nerves and the tarsal bones that I had so slavishly memorized long ago. Celtic-Endsinger, If you will send me your email address, I will let you know when a compilation of these songs is available. Please put me in touch with any of your classmates that you think may have knowledge of further songs. |
Subject: RE: Folk songs appropriate for medical students From: 'Berta' Date: 10 May 98 - 08:42 PM To be awfully graphic: a student of Radiology needed to know the principles of electricity as they were applied to ionizating radiation; that is, OHM'S LAW: The angle of the dangle is directly proportional to the heat of the meat! Appologies to all.... 'Berta |
Subject: RE: Folk songs appropriate for medical students From: Kyra Date: 10 May 98 - 09:13 PM Try "My Favorite Diseases" by Mike Agranoff, sung to the tune of "My Favorite Things". If you'd like the lyrics, send me an email at kiwi@unagi.cybernothing.org and I'll send them to you. I warn you, though, my Email might be down. If it gets rejected, just send it again a day or so later and it should get through to me. Sla/n, Kyra |
Subject: Lyr Add: THE FORMULARY SONG^^ From: Mark Cohen Date: 23 Jan 00 - 09:31 PM I just discovered this thread when I put my name in the search box while looking for something else, and I'm happy to refresh it, as it's right up my artery--er, alley. Here is my piece called "The Formulary Song", which was published in the New England Journal of Medicine in 1977, when I was a senior medical student. I sent a copy to Tom Lehrer, and he replied, "As a lifelong apostle of plagiarism, I certainly have no objection." ^^^ THE FORMULARY SONG by Mark Cohen (to the tune of "I Am The Very Model of a Modern Major-General" by Gilbert and Sullivan, with acknowledgment--but no apology--to Tom Lehrer) There's Aldomet and Atromid and Antivert and Atarax And Dexamyl and Donnagel and Demerol and Dulcolax There's Tylenol and Tegretol and Riopan and Regitine And Pertofrane and Pavabid and also Pyribenzamine Now if you're down there's Dexedrine and Benzedrine and Elavil And if you're up there's Librium and Valium and Vistaril There's Thorazine and Stelazine for calming schizophrenics with There's Seconal for sleeping and for mania there's Eskalith There's Benadryl and Gelusil and Placidyl and Peritrate And Decadron and Parafon and Sinequan and Sorbitrate And Miltown, Motrin, Medrol, Maalox, Myleran, and Miradon And Mycostatin, Micronor, Mandelamine, and Mylicon There's Omnipen and Principen and Tegopen and Torecan And Betapen and Versapen and Pyopen and Percodan There's Robitussin, Garamycin, also Butazolidin And Furadantin, Coricidin, even Triaminicin There's Dimetane and Dimetapp and Dymelor and Dimecol And Diuril and Dialose and Diamox and Disophrol There's Darvocet for headaches when you'd really rather stay at home But if the other end is sore, the one you need is Proctofoam I know you're getting weary and my song is getting pretty grim With all these pharmaceuticals from Actifed to Zyloprim But just imagine what would happen if I tried to fan the flames By starting over once again and using all generic names (Like hydrochlorothiazide and phenylpropanolamine And propylthiouracil . . . I think you see just what I mean!) Aloha, Mark |
Subject: RE: Folk songs appropriate for medical students From: Mark Cohen Date: 23 Jan 00 - 09:37 PM Oops! (I know doctors aren't supposed to say that, but what the hell...) I must have goofed and left out one line. Here's the corrected verse; maybe Joe can fix the original. Please? There's Benadryl and Gelusil and Placidyl and Peritrate And Decadron and Parafon and Sinequan and Sorbitrate And Miltown, Motrin, Medrol, Maalox, Myleran and Miradon And Mycostatin, Micronor, Mandelamine and Mylicon |
Subject: RE: Folk songs appropriate for medical students From: Mary in Kentucky Date: 23 Jan 00 - 10:07 PM Thanks Mark for the Formulary Song. I'm sending it to my two favorite pharmacists. BTW, one bawdy version of the cranial nerves starts with Oh, Oh, Oh. I can't remember the rest. Also, "Dry Bones" above (the shin bone connected to the knee bone) has some alternate lyrics. Mary |
Subject: RE: Folk songs appropriate for medical students From: Amos Date: 23 Jan 00 - 10:38 PM Now the doctah said, he said son you don't need no pills (2x) Just a handful of nickels and a jukebox will cure your ills.
(Boppin' the Blues by Carl Perkins)
And:
O feed him eggs, and marrowbone, feed them to him whole,
(Eggs and Marrowbone, trad., recorded by Richard Dyer-Bennett) |
Subject: RE: Folk songs appropriate for medical students From: reggie miles Date: 23 Jan 00 - 11:20 PM There's one that a friend Larry Heagle wrote called Vasectomy that seems to work well in medical settings. |
Subject: RE: Folk songs appropriate for medical students From: Arkie Date: 23 Jan 00 - 11:24 PM How did Some Little Bug is Going to Get You Someday get left out of this? Cho: For some little bug is going to get you someday. Some little bug will creep behind you someday. Then he'll send for his bug friends And all your troubles they will end, For some little bug is gonna find you someday. It's in the database. |
Subject: RE: Folk songs appropriate for medical students From: Marymac90 Date: 24 Jan 00 - 01:39 AM Cocaine's for horses, not for men Doctor said it'd kill me but he didn't say when Cocaine, messin' around my brain [Cocaine Blues] I was looking to see if I had a recording by some male member of People's Music Network of an extremely funny song describing a proctoscopic examination, but I don't think I do. Perhaps it wasn't so much the lyrics as the ASL interpretation, but it had us all ROTFL. Another song performed at People's Music Network that same year was one by Ruth Pelham about breast cancer, something about your body being fine and lovable with 2 breasts, 1 breast, or no breasts. What I did find when I was looking for the above were a couple of tapes I have by Mark Levy, featuring songs like "Every Sperm does not Deserve a Name" "Babies are Replaceable" and "Waldeheimer's Disease". Another group I know from People's Music Network is The Disabled in Action Singers. Their tape features "National Healthcare Blues", "Housecalls", and other related songs. Ray Korona recorded a song called "Send me an Ambulance". He's also with People's Music Network, which, BTW, is meeting this coming weekend in Queens, NYC. Anyone who wants info about the PMN concert Friday, or workshops Sat and Sun, or these songs, please message me. Peter Alsop wrote a kids' song called "My Body's Nobody's Body but Mine", and Marcie Boyd added more adult lyrics to the chorus. Hope this is helpful. Mary McCaffrey |
Subject: RE: Folk songs appropriate for medical students From: GUEST,Roger the skiffler Date: 24 Jan 00 - 09:14 AM Well, they may not be folk but I can recycle some suggestions from a previous Hallowe'en thread: When you grow too old to scream (I'll have you to dismember) Hey there (You with the bolt through your neck) for plastic surgeons: I'd grown accustomed to that face and for cloners: I want a girl just like the girl that married dear old dad And one that would really suit most medical students:
I want a blow-up doll that I can call my own, If I ever have to go to hospital, I was only joking, guys! RtS |
Subject: RE: Folk songs appropriate for medical students From: Nogs Date: 24 Jan 00 - 03:23 PM And to remind the prospective doctors that they are not gods in everyone's eyes: From Nottingham Ale:
And you doctors who more execution have done
From 'A Pint of Old Peculier':
Forswear I say their physics all, Also from 'Delia's Gone':
Sent for the Doctor, doctor came too late, Nogs (MD)
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Subject: RE: Folk songs appropriate for medical students From: lamarca Date: 24 Jan 00 - 03:54 PM There are a couple of songs about Burke and Hare, the infamous body-snatchers of Edinburgh - they stole bodies to sell to the medical school for dissection. When business picked up, they stopped waiting for already dead bodies and started "helping" local bums become corpses... One version is in the DT here. There's a different song on the same topic performed by Ed Miller on his "Live at the Cactus Cafe" CD - the chorus goes:
Burke and Hare were a terrible pair, Then there's the old-time single entendre song, "It Won't Hurt No More", about a young lady who goes to the doctor/dentist to fix what ails her. It doesn't seem to be in the DT, but Double Decker Stringband does a fine rendition of it on one of their albums. If I get time later, I'll transcribe it. |
Subject: RE: Folk songs appropriate for medical students From: Jeri Date: 24 Jan 00 - 05:13 PM From a former Public Health weenie - there's a song by Tom Lehrer called something like "I Got it from Agnes," but I can't find it in the DB, so I may have the wrong title. I seem to recall it's in his book, and I seem to recall I have the book...somewhere. I can't believe nobody's mentioned this, to the tune of "Yesterday," but I can't find it in the DB either. I'm sure there are more verses:
leprosy
And I used to sing this when I was learning how to do fecal exams in a school for vet technicians. To the tune of "Feelings" -
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Subject: RE: Folk songs appropriate for medical students From: reggie miles Date: 24 Jan 00 - 05:21 PM Arkie, an excellent choice. Someone who works in a sterilization unit for a local hospital just asked me for a copy of my rendition of "Some Little Bug". So they could use it as part of a class to train newbies to the profession. |
Subject: RE: Folk songs appropriate for medical students From: dick greenhaus Date: 24 Jan 00 - 10:41 PM If you search for @doctor in DIgiTrad, you'll get 13 hits. If you search for songs that mention "doctor" or "doctors" you'll get well over 100. Not to mention gems like Our Baby Died Last Night. And all of the variations of The Unfortunate Rake that have our hero perishing of syphilis, or white mercury (a cure for syphilis) or pila cotia (Latin for white mercury). |
Subject: RE: Folk songs appropriate for medical students From: Mbo Date: 24 Jan 00 - 10:47 PM Know all about that Proctofoam...if only Tom new how deadly serious "sore" can be. --Mbo |
Subject: RE: Folk songs appropriate for medical students From: BillFisher Date: 24 Jan 00 - 11:02 PM By the Time I Get to Pharynx A song about STD's: Careless Love.
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Subject: RE: Folk songs appropriate for medical students From: Amos Date: 24 Jan 00 - 11:10 PM Stereotypical student MDs should be required to learn "It's Only A Wee-Wee, So What's All the Fuss?". A. |
Subject: RE: Folk songs appropriate for medical students From: GUEST,sheila Date: 24 Jan 00 - 11:17 PM Edinburgh folkies and medical students used to sing Stuart McGregor's 'Sandy Bell's Man', about a young girl led astray by an Edinburgh medic. |
Subject: RE: Folk songs appropriate for medical students From: catspaw49 Date: 24 Jan 00 - 11:35 PM Probably a little more for undertakers but also can work for the medicos, I posted this one a while back...CLANK HERE: Talking Socialized Anti-Undertaker Blues by Patrick Sky...Kinda the story of my life. Spaw |
Subject: RE: Folk songs appropriate for medical students From: John Moulden Date: 25 Jan 00 - 08:26 AM Try the Poem - by Thomas Hood called "Mary’s Ghost" singable to various Irish tunes - pick your own - It's about body snatching and anatomy. The last stanza is:
The day does dawn, the cock does crow; It's time for us to part. Hood wrote another body-snatching poem called "Jack Hall" and Robert Southey wrote the wonderful "The Surgeon’s Warning" - perhaps not singable but great stuff. |
Subject: RE: Folk songs appropriate for medical students From: GUEST,blind desert pete Date: 30 Jan 00 - 04:46 PM RE: Crainial nerves. Oh Oh Oh to touch and feel a girls vagina such heaven |
Subject: RE: Folk songs appropriate for medical students From: Liz the Squeak Date: 30 Jan 00 - 05:05 PM Touching on the surgeon/barber theme, try the DigiTrad and look up 'Sweeney Todd the Barber'..... guaranteed to keep you off the pork pies for a while.... and amusing to boot. LTS |
Subject: RE: Folk songs appropriate for medical students From: Dave (the ancient mariner) Date: 30 Jan 00 - 06:14 PM Melanie Safka's version of Psychotherapy. And the Id goes marching on. Yours, Aye. Dave |
Subject: RE: Folk songs appropriate for medical students From: Mark Cohen Date: 30 Jan 00 - 06:30 PM Mbo, I didn't mean to downplay the seriousness of the affliction, it just fit well that way. You raise a good point, though. Medically related humor is always tricky because you're dealing with people's pain and distress. Unfortunately, medical training is stressful and medical students often tend to attack others' weaknesses when they feel inadequate. I'm afraid it's part of the human condition--it's certainly not limited to medical students--and I confess to doing my share. (That's one reason I don't perform my VD song anymore.) Much of what is considered humorous by some people is offensive to some people in some contexts at some times. But we keep muddling through, hopefully with good humor, and can try not to offend but to amuse. Sorry for the sermon...it just broke out. Aloha, Mark |
Subject: RE: Folk songs appropriate for medical students From: Mary in Kentucky Date: 15 Feb 00 - 08:07 PM I found a wonderful book titled The Biochemists' Songbook which puts the words to 19 different biochemical processes (or syntheses or whatever) to the tunes of "well-known" songs. I am certainly not a biochemist, but this little book looks like a gem! Here's the book info and a table of contents. My source (college student) says it's available from BarnesandNoble.com but not Amazon.com. There are complex biochemical diagrams, music notation and an average of ten verses for each song.
The Biochemists' Songbook CONTENTS:
The Michaelis Anthem -- Tune: The Red Flag
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Subject: RE: Folk songs appropriate for medical students From: Mary in Kentucky Date: 15 Feb 00 - 08:12 PM Make that fourth one ß Oxidation |
Subject: RE: Folk songs appropriate for medical students From: Crowhugger Date: 15 Feb 00 - 08:39 PM Lovely loco locus! |
Subject: RE: Folk songs appropriate for medical students From: GUEST,Jim Dixon Date: 16 Feb 00 - 01:57 PM Well, they call me the doctor (yeah, yeah!) In my neighborhood (yeah, yeah!) But my baby she calls me (yeah, yeah!) Doctor Feelgood (yeah, yeah!) Sorry, I can't remember any more. |
Subject: RE: Folk songs appropriate for medical students From: dick greenhaus Date: 16 Feb 00 - 08:11 PM Mary in Kentucky- Don't list 'em; post 'em! |
Subject: Lyr Add: SURGERY (Oscar Brand) From: Arkie Date: 16 Feb 00 - 09:02 PM How about this one? SURGERY by Oscar Brand
Why not be an operator,
CHORUS: Surgery, surgery,
Why waste time in diagnosis, CHORUS |
Subject: Lyr Add: APPENDECTOMY COUNTRY STYLE (Oscar Brand) From: Arkie Date: 17 Feb 00 - 12:41 AM Or how about this?
APPENDECTOMY – COUNTRY STYLE
Wash your hands and get them dry.
Now drape that patient neat and tight.
Swing that knife blade with a toss
When the cavity's been breached,
With a peritoneal cuff inside,
Tie the purse string very tight. |
Subject: RE: Folk songs appropriate for medical students From: GUEST,Jim Dixon Date: 17 Feb 00 - 04:13 PM After posting the above excerpt of "Doctor Feel-Good" I spent a good deal of time searching the web for the lyrics. I never succeeded, but I was able to find out this much: It was written by Willie Lee "Piano Red" Perryman (1911-85), recorded by him in 1961 and published as a single on the Okeh label (#7144). It became a big hit so that Perryman subsequently adopted "Dr. Feelgood" as his stage name, and when he brought out an album in 1962, it was called "Doctor Feelgood and the Interns." Fascinating, huh? Perhaps someone with more skill or determination than I will continue the search. I'm giving up. |
Subject: RE: Folk songs appropriate for medical students From: GUEST,Mark Cohen Date: 17 Feb 00 - 06:30 PM Thanks, Arkie! I'll have to learn these and do them for my surgeon friends. Aloha (from Eugene Oregon today) Mark |
Subject: RE: Folk songs appropriate for medical students From: Crowhugger Date: 18 Feb 00 - 08:00 AM I always wondered how surgeons were trained. |
Subject: RE: Folk songs appropriate for medical students From: Crowhugger Date: 06 Apr 00 - 08:38 AM KT, maybe something here... |
Subject: RE: Folk songs appropriate for medical students From: GUEST,Philippa Date: 17 May 00 - 02:28 PM I once had a physics prof who taught us a song to the tune of Men of Harlech, which incorporated some formulas to memorise. Reviewing anatomy and physiology on-line today, I found a muscle song included in the outline notes at http://www.cs.ndsu.nodak.edu/~revie/notes/bio131/apch10.htm If you don't want to read all the notes do a search for the word "song" on the page. I expect you may find other songs if you go to the home page and look through the other biology notes at this site. I was at a waulking song workshop with Anna Martin recently. She showed us how the songs kept the rhythyms for fulling the tweed and I was wondering if I could work up a song sequence to do massage by. There's a challenge for someone, the rhythyms have to flow from effleurage through to hacking and cupping and back to effleurage. ... although I've always said I don't like to hear music while giving or receiving massage, that it's too distracting. |
Subject: RE: Folk songs appropriate for medical students From: GUEST,David Richoux (KFJC FM) Date: 26 Jun 02 - 12:17 AM Hi, I just happened to find this site & forum while researching a favorite song. Earlier in the thread someone mentions "SOME LITTLE BUG IS GOING TO FIND YOU" and the Mudcat database gives this reference to the lyric: Note: Surprisingly enough, this dates back to the 1890s. Brad Kincaid recorded it in the '30s, and Phil Harris recorded it in the 1940s. Sally Rogers recorded it on Love Will Guide Us, Flying Fish. RG From what I know about this song, it was written in 1915 (maybe it was influenced by the influenza epidemic of that year) Music by: Silvio Hein Lyrics by: Benjamin Hapgood Burt and Roy Atwell for a Franz Lehar Operetta "Alone At Last" and made popular by Roy Atwell. You can see an image of the song sheet at http://www.parlorsongs.com/issues/2000-9/2000-9.asp BTW, There is a fine recording of this song by Eubie Blake and Ivan Harold Browning that was recorded in 1972. Standard disclaimers apply - this info came off the internet, after all... |
Subject: RE: Folk songs appropriate for medical students From: JohnInKansas Date: 26 Jun 02 - 06:20 AM I recently overheard an unknown member of the audience who seemed to have several verses that were "cute," although I only caught: To the tune of (Come to me my) Melancholy Baby - Never give Viagra to a lawyer, 'Cause it only makes them tall... Anyone recognize it? John |
Subject: RE: Folk songs appropriate for medical students From: GUEST,Fossil at home Date: 27 Jun 02 - 05:51 AM Loudon Wainwright III: "(I went to) The Doctor". Must be on his website somewhere. |
Subject: RE: Folk songs appropriate for medical students From: Genie Date: 27 Jun 02 - 10:51 AM "...and the doctor said, "Give 'em jug band music. It's bound to make 'em feel just fine!" §;- D |
Subject: RE: Folk songs appropriate for medical students From: Mrrzy Date: 27 Jun 02 - 11:53 AM I had Dr. Freud by the Gateway Singers at the Hungry I, but I wouldn't be surprised if the KTrio did it too. |
Subject: RE: Folk songs appropriate for medical students From: DonD Date: 27 Jun 02 - 12:37 PM Learned men that use the pen Have writ your praises high You sweet poteen from Ireland green That's made from corn and rye. So away all pills, it'll cure all ills Be you Christian, Pagan or Jew Take off your coat, open up your throat To the dear old mountain dew. |
Subject: RE: Folk songs appropriate for medical students From: Susanne (skw) Date: 28 Jun 02 - 04:26 PM How about 'Pills' or 'Cholesterol', both by Glaswegian Adam McNaughtan? And 'Cod Liver Oil' (the one without the Orange Juice - the music hall song made popular by The Dubliners)? I'd love to know which songs Clarke chose and how the students reacted to them! BTW, the 'Burke and Hare' song Iamarca quoted far above was written by Robin Laing. |
Subject: RE: Folk songs appropriate for medical students From: Cappuccino Date: 28 Jun 02 - 04:37 PM In Edinburgh once I saw a great band of medical students, playing under the name of The Peristalsis Five. It is, apparently, the movement of the bowel. - ian B |
Subject: RE: Folk songs appropriate for medical students From: Genie Date: 28 Jun 02 - 05:24 PM Isn't there a punk or grunge band called "Smegma?" |
Subject: RE: Folk songs appropriate for medical students From: redcogs Date: 28 Jun 02 - 05:28 PM How about
Digging graves is my delight [Dust to Dust by John Kirkpatrick] |
Subject: RE: Folk songs appropriate for medical students From: Genie Date: 28 Jun 02 - 10:13 PM I know it's not a folk song, but Miss Adelaide's Lament (from Guys and Dolls) is perfect for med students. Miss Adelaide (Sky Masterson's moll) keeps reading medical textbook descriptions of "post nasal drip" and other sinus cavity ailments and their relation to socio-emotional issues. Each verse of these descriptions ends with "in other words, ... Then there's another non-folk one that's relevant: |
Subject: Lyr Add: THE PHYSICIAN (Cole Porter) From: Jeanie Date: 29 Jun 02 - 06:36 PM As we've moved into "non-folk," here's "THE PHYSICIAN," music and lyrics by Cole Porter, recorded by Gertrude Lawrence 1933:
Once I loved such a shattering physician,
He said by bronchial tubes were entrancing,
He said my epidermis was darling,
And though, no doubt,
With my esophagus he was ravished,
He said my cerebellum was brilliant,
He said my maxillaries were marvels,
He seemed amused
I know he thought my pancreas perfect,
He said my vertebrae were "sehr schoene,"
He took a fleeting look at my thorax,
As it was dark,
He lingered on with me until morning,
Some of the cranial nerve mnemonics listed above would have been a lot easier to learn than the one were taught at school for 'O' Level Human Biology: - jeanie |
Subject: RE: Folk songs appropriate for medical students From: Donuel Date: 29 Jun 02 - 06:44 PM The TV show Scrubs has had lots of digusting medical school songs. |
Subject: RE: Folk songs appropriate for medical students From: GUEST,JTT Date: 29 Jun 02 - 08:16 PM In haste - I haven't read the whole thread, so sorry if this is a repeat: [DR. DE JONGH'S COD LIVER OIL]
Oh doctor, oh doctor, oh Dr De Jong and many other bawdy verses. |
Subject: RE: Folk songs appropriate for medical students From: Genie Date: 29 Jun 02 - 11:17 PM For patients who've just been stabbed with a hypodermic: "I've got you under my skin..." Then there's the classic "Found a peanut." Among the umpteen kazillion verses, you find:
"It was rotten (x3) just now... Genie |
Subject: RE: Folk songs appropriate for medical students From: Genie Date: 29 Jun 02 - 11:25 PM For cardiologists: How Can You Mend A Broken Heart?
For Pharmacists:
For Dermatologists:
For Psychiatrists:
|
Subject: RE: Folk songs appropriate for medical students From: Jim Dixon Date: 03 Jul 02 - 07:18 PM See DOCTOR BROWN. |
Subject: RE: Folk songs appropriate for medical students From: maire-aine Date: 03 Jul 02 - 09:00 PM Miss Fogarty's Christmas Cake, maybe. "It could kill a man twice after eatin' a slice...." |
Subject: RE: Folk songs appropriate for medical students From: GUEST,another guest Date: 03 Jul 02 - 11:07 PM Paddy Kelly's Brew---verse 2
It will cure the rheumatism; it will cure a wheezy chest.
And it tastes as sweet as honey as it trickles down your throat. |
Subject: RE: Folk songs appropriate for medical students From: GUEST,Martin Ryan Date: 04 Jul 02 - 09:01 AM Kevin Barry Regards |
Subject: Lyr Add: SIR JOHN AND THE MAGIC CASTLE From: Mark Cohen Date: 04 Jul 02 - 01:53 PM Here's one that I wrote when I was a medical student. I don't believe I've posted them before. It's a parody of "Fair Margaret and Sweet William", which I believe is a Child ballad; I'll leave it to Masato or one of the other scholars to figure out which! Warning: not for the faint-hearted. [A brief explanation: My medical school, Penn State U.'s Hershey Medical Center, was a gleaming white building that was built in the middle of a cornfield outside Hershey, Pennsylvania (Chocolate Town, USA), so from a distance it really does look a bit like a magic castle. Anyone who's been to a major medical center won't need any more explanation of the song. Oh...3rd and 4th year medical students in the hospital were called "clinical clerks".] SIR JOHN AND THE MAGIC CASTLE lyrics (c)1976 Mark Cohen, tune trad (Fair Margaret and Sweet William) Sir John awoke on a gray morning, he felt so terribly bad "I have a pain in my belly," he said, "the worst I've ever had" He dragged himself out of his bed and found his friend William Brown "Oh, take me to that white castle now, that stands in Hershey Town" "Oh have no fear, Sir John dear friend, oh have no fear" said he "I'll take you to that magic castle now, and better you'll soon be" "Oh take me there with haste, my friend, for I am terribly sore" He gave a cry that cracked the sky, and then he gave one more They rode so fast and they rode so far, the castle soon they spied But they had to go through a twisted maze, before they got inside The signs they misdirected them, the door was very well hid Sir John stopped once to bring up his lunch, and was quite glad he did At last they came upon the door, but when they stepped within A demon there was sitting in a chair, on its face an evil grin "Oh demon what want you of us?" said William bold and brave "My friend Sir John is so very ill, he's almost in his grave" "It is not much I want of you," the demon said with a smirk "Your name, your age, your next of kin, where you live, and where you work Then you must fill out all these forms, and press full hard with your pen Sign here, and here, and also here" -- Sir John threw up again They took Sir John into a room, and thirteen people came in And each one had a different idea of what was wrong with him Said one, "Let's have him swallow this tube, and then I'll look within" Said another, "No, the only way we'll know is by opening up his skin" Then up there spoke a third-year clerk: "Sir, when was your last stool?" "Why, four days ago," said good Sir John, "and I'm regular, as a rule" The clerk then donned his rubber glove, the rest you surely can guess Said a happy Sir John, "Of all you wise men here, this young one is the best" I'll end my story here and now, but please remember my friend The third-year clerk who saved the day, with a finger in...The End Aloha, Mark |
Subject: RE: Folk songs appropriate for medical students From: Mark Cohen Date: 04 Jul 02 - 02:07 PM Here's the original, and the tune: Fair Margaret and Sweet William, Child 74 (page includes MIDI). The tune is apparently one of two versions collected by Cecil Sharp. Aloha, Mark |
Subject: RE: Folk songs appropriate for medical students From: Deda Date: 04 Jul 02 - 03:53 PM A fun thread! The one just above it when I opened it was "falorum dingdorum" (from "Maids when you're young") which has some great lyrics for anatomy students. |
Subject: RE: Folk songs appropriate for medical students From: GUEST,Argenine Date: 05 Jul 02 - 03:48 PM Jeanie, thanks for that Cole Porter song! The man had a way with words, din't 'e? |
Subject: RE: Folk songs appropriate for medical students From: GUEST,Erin Date: 05 Jul 02 - 07:30 PM I THINK I've read all the entries so far....and I didn't see the following parody of "Side By Side" (some people know it as "Oh, We Ain't Got a Barrel of Money")
Well, I got married last Friday
We really knew we were wed then
One tin leg to follow,
Well, here I stand broken hearted |
Subject: RE: Folk songs appropriate for medical students From: kytrad (Jean Ritchie) Date: 06 Jul 02 - 06:03 PM I haven't time to read all above carefully, but I don't think this one was mentioned: "Pretty Sally," an old ballad often sung by Horton Barker, and a beauty. Sad, though.
Another which I used to sing for medical students- it always made them laugh: Leadbelly's, "Irene, Goodnight," which has the verse:
I love Irene, God knows I do, |
Subject: RE: Folk songs appropriate for medical students From: Nogs Date: 20 Jan 03 - 02:03 PM the words to the song that northfolk was referring to above 4/28/98 [The Druggist] can be found at http://www.joelmabus.com/1097_lyrics.htm#druggist |
Subject: RE: Folk songs appropriate for medical students From: Rapparee Date: 20 Jan 03 - 04:54 PM Someone has probably set this to music, since it was popular eith the children of the time: Up the close and down the stair But and ben w' Burke and Hare Burke's the butcher Hare's the thief And Knox's the boy who buys the beef. |
Subject: RE: Folk songs appropriate for medical students From: Susanne (skw) Date: 20 Jan 03 - 07:56 PM Rapaire, I've heard it sung by Nancy Nicolson, but have been looking for a recording for years without success. 'Burke and Hare' on Robin Laing's Edinburgh Skyline CD is a different song. |
Subject: Lyr Add: COCONUT (Harry Nilsson) From: Arkie Date: 21 Jan 03 - 12:31 AM COCONUT Harry Nilsson
Brother bought a coconut. He bought it for a dime.
She put the lime in the coconut. She drank them both up.
And said, "Doctor, ain't there nothin' I can take?"
"Put the lime in the coconut. You drank them both up.
And say, "Doctor, ain't there nothing I can take?"
Put the lime in the coconut. Drink them both together.
Wouh wouh wouh wouh wouh.
She put the lime in the coconut. She drank them both up.
Say, "Doctor, ain't there nothin' I can take?"
"You put the lime in the coconut, drink them both up.
Put the lime in the coconut. Drink them both together.
"Woo Woo, ain't there nothin' you can take?" I say,
You say, "yah yah, ain't there nothin' I can take?" I say,
"Put the lime in the coconut. Drink them both together.
"Yes, you call me in the morning, |
Subject: RE: Folk songs appropriate for medical students From: Santa Date: 21 Jan 03 - 02:58 PM Strawhead tend to end their act with a rousing rendition of "Working Where The Sun Don't Shine (The Colorectal Surgeon's Song)" complete with gestures that really cannot be repeated on a family forum. The chorus goes something like "Here's to the Colo-Rectal Surgeon, Misunderstood and much-maligned Slaving away in the heart of darkness Working where the sun don't shine." The verses are fortunately gone beyond recall.....but they certainly amused the medical member of this family (and the non-medical ones). |
Subject: Lyr Add: ANYBODY ILL? From: GUEST,Q Date: 21 Jan 03 - 05:09 PM Lyr. Add: ANYBODY ILL? I am a learned surgeon, and my name is Doctor Quack, My draughts and pills, to cure your ills, I carry on my back, My med'cines are the nastiest that ever cured a pain, If once you've tasted them I know you'd ne'er be ill again. Chorus: Then oh, my! Anybody ill, anybody ill, Anybody ill, oh my Hi! I'm Doctor Quack, quack, quack-a-ka-quack,I cure you of any attack, I've syrup of squills and I've camomile pills, And my name is Doctor Quack. I've lotions for the measles and I've powders for the croup. I cure the girls of whooping cough by taking off their hoop, My plaisters are so very strong, they draw out all your teeth, And last week drew a ton of coals from here to Hampstead Heath. I've pills for the complexion if you rub it in at night, If you've been red as beetroot, in the morning you'll be white, They'll cure a smoky fire and take away the kettle's boil, They're made of railway grease and soap, Dutch cheese and castor oil. I've got a syrup you can take for tooth ache in the nose, I've powders for a wooden arm, and pills for timber toes. I stop the mouths of scolding wives, their double teeth I draw, I clap a padlock on their tongues which makes them hold their jaw. I've ointment for a mother-in-law, she swallows half a pound, She'll never trouble you again for she will sleep so sound, Who'll have a gross of leeches? Shall I put them on your back? You won't- then he must go elsewhere to trade, must Doctor Quack. I've heard a doctor sing this to MacNamara's Band, and do the chorus with a little music hall-minstrel hop. Quite funny. Bodleian Library, printed by R. March, 1881-1884, Firth b.28(4a/b) |
Subject: Lyr Add: THE FUNNY FARM (Homer & Jethro) From: Jim Dixon Date: 12 Dec 03 - 12:40 AM Lyrics transcribed from the sound file at http://www.geocities.com/u2page6/ THE FUNNY FARM (tune: When Johnny Comes Marching Home) (As sung by Homer & Jethro) I took a short vacation on my doctor's good advice. Four men in white escorted me. They treated me so nice. They strapped me in a jacket till I couldn't move an arm, An' now I am patient out at the funny farm. CHORUS: The nurses drink. The doctors drink. The patients do the same. While we are psychoanalyzed, we sip our pink champagne. Before I'd sell my padded cell, I'd amputate my arm. I'd be a lunatic to ever leave the funny farm. I can't help feelin' sorry for the guy right next to me. He thinks that he's a refrigerator, strange as it may be. The doctors don't believe it an' I think that he's a fake, But when he opens up his mouth, the light keeps me awake. CHORUS A guy thinks he's a chicken, but I'm sure that he is wrong. He sits out in the chicken coop an' cackles all day long. The doctor never tries to cure him though he begs and begs, For they get sixty cents a dozen when they sell the eggs. CHORUS [Recorded by Homer & Jethro on "Fractured Folk Songs," 1964; and "The Playboy Song," 1968.] |
Subject: RE: Folk songs appropriate for medical students From: GUEST,Sean Date: 12 Dec 03 - 05:11 AM The Humours of Whiskey |
Subject: Lyr Add: A NOTE OF THANKS TO DR. REES From: Howard Kaplan Date: 20 Nov 05 - 09:30 PM Five years and ten months ago (January 2000), Marymac90 posted this paragraph: I was looking to see if I had a recording by some male member of People's Music Network of an extremely funny song describing a proctoscopic examination, but I don't think I do. Perhaps it wasn't so much the lyrics as the ASL interpretation, but it had us all ROTFL.I found her posting today while following links from another thread ("Where can I buy leeches & medical songs"), and I am pleased to be able to provide more details. I wrote A Note of Thanks to Dr. Rees in 1994, and you can click on the link to find a lead sheet and a MIDI file of the melody. Here are just the lyrics: Doctor Rees (colon): I'm writing this letter To thank you for what I have recently learned. After our talk, I now understand better. That would not be so, had you not been concerned. Needing more facts, I perused the collection The library keeps; I found quite a good book. So now, I know much about rectal inspection, Though rectums are places I rarely need look. When we succeed with this change we've been trying, When few folk will smoke, through persuasion and laws, We'll see a change in statistics of dying, With lung cancer being a less prominent cause. Next behind lungs on the list as a locus Where tumours develop, in rich lands like these, Are rectum and colon, and so we must focus On them, in our work of preventing disease. Some say it helps to consume much more fibre And rarely eat Häagen-Dazs, lamb chops, or Brie; Those vegetarians I've met in cyber- Space out on the Internet tend to agree. But, for the millions who won't change their diet, Although that would also be good for the heart, There is a technique, if they're willing to try it, That often ensures no malignancies start. The flexible sigmoidoscope was invented To enter our guts through the holes in their ends Where feces well coloured and gases ill scented Both exit the body. It threads through the bends In the sigmoid, the part of the colon just over The rectum that's shaped like an "S", and can go Inside the left colon. It's used to discover Conditions for which, perhaps, no symptoms show. Polyps are growths that should not be occurring. The ones in the bowel, when young, are benign, But they can enlarge, and there's danger deferring Removal, because, when they're old, they malign. Most bowel polyps, statistics have shown us, Are found near the sigmoid. A primary care Physician can look for them, and, as a bonus, Remove them, by using a scope and a snare. Fibres bring outside light in to illumine; An image is focused on fibres of glass. Three millimetres wide, there's enough room in The biopsy channel for thin tools to pass. One has a loop on its end, which is tightened To snare polyps' bases, then current's applied, And heat cuts their stalks as the flesh becomes whitened. A biopsy's made from the parts that weren't fried. And so, Doctor Rees, thanks again for these verses That I'd not have written without your request. We, who must visit physicians and nurses, Should try to keep current with what they suggest. As it ascends, up that slippery slope in The base of my gut, every three years or two, When I feel the flexible sigmoidoscope in My rectum, I'll surely be thinking of you. |
Subject: RE: Folk songs appropriate for medical students From: breezy Date: 21 Nov 05 - 03:45 AM 'Transplant Calypso' written a while ago by Jeremy Taylor doesn't appear to have been mentioned here. Jeremy -who had a big hit with 'Ag Pleez Deddy' - will be appearing at the Windward Folk club at the Comfort Hotel in St Albans UK on Sunday 27th Nov 2005 on Fri 25th it'll be george papavgeris |
Subject: Lyr Add: TERRIBLE OPERATION BLUES (Tom Dorsey) From: robd Date: 05 Oct 09 - 06:52 PM So sad I missed this one, but since these threads may yet serve a useful purpose someday. And, a quick search of the site finds only a single mention of the song, but no words. I first heard Magpie sing it, and they credited Homer Clemons and his Texas Swing Billies. TERRIBLE OPERATION BLUES Thomas A. Dorsey aka. Georgia Tom - 1930 Bring in the next patient, nurse Get up on this table, pull off that gown Raise up that right leg, let that left one down Pull off them stockings, that silk underwear The doctor's got to cut you, mama, don't know where You got two or three tumors, shaped like a cube Two or three leaks in your inner tube Bring on that ether, bring on that gas The doctor's got to cut you, mama, yas, yas, yas The doctor knows to fix it, the doctor knows just what to do Oh doctor, can I have a glass of water? Oh, not now Oh doctor, I'm so sick! Sh, be quiet, doctor ain't gonna hurt you Oh, what you gonna do with that long knife? Oh, that's just the doctor's tools Oh doctor, what you gon' do with that saw? Oh, we take off legs with that, that's all Ooooh! Be quiet, now, just a moment There you are, the doctor's through! Oh doctor, what did you take out of me? Oh, just a minute, I'll tell you, dear Four monkey wrenches, two horse-shay Pair of old britches and a bale of hay Your ribs were kinda loosened, they moved about If I hadn't sewed you up, everything woulda fell out I put in new tubes, tightened up the exhaust Went into your hood and cleaned your spark plugs off Your body's kinda weak, don't be hard From now on you'll be careful with them there connection rods Alright, doctor! The doctor knows to fix it, the doctor knows just what to do Gee, doctor, but I feel better That so? Yes, I feel kinda like I wanna do a little messin' 'round Fine, go ahead! Ooooh, my my my my That's the way patients do that come to this hospital Your body's kinda weak, don't be hard From now on you'll be careful with them there connection rods Alright, doctor! The doctor knows to fix it, the doctor knows just what to do |
Subject: RE: Folk songs appropriate for medical students From: Jack Campin Date: 05 Oct 09 - 07:46 PM Tom Lehrer's song about the epidemiology of STDs: I Got It From Agnes. |
Subject: RE: Folk songs appropriate for medical students From: Gweltas Date: 05 Oct 09 - 08:14 PM How about "Lily The Pink" and her wonderful "Medicinal Compound"?? |
Subject: RE: Folk songs appropriate for medical students From: GUEST,fantum Date: 06 Oct 09 - 08:13 AM PILLS OF WHITE MERCURY straight out of the database |
Subject: RE: Folk songs appropriate for medical students From: sing4peace Date: 06 Oct 09 - 08:30 PM Here's one my Dad wrote to the tune of "The Rickets Hornpipe" Rickets, berri-berri and pellagra too Can be caused by not enough of vitamins in you Lousy vision after dark And even colds and flu These symptoms can be caused they say By lack of vitamins in you. You may think you're having fun But without the vitamin [pronounced vita-mun] Your bones get soft they start to itch Your ankles weigh a ton So if you have to go to sea for any length of time Be sure that once a week You get to eat a carrot and a lime. Forget about psychiatry and don't go on a binge Eat a navel or a temple or valencia orange. ---- (Yes! that does rhyme the word orange. Anybody who knew Jody Gibson knew that you just couldn't tell him a thing couldn't be done without him setting about to prove you wrong.) -- Joyce |
Subject: RE: Folk songs appropriate for medical students From: GUEST,Edthefolkie Date: 07 Oct 09 - 06:19 PM Hey thanks Robd, it 's great to see the words of "Terrible Operation Blues". That takes me back a bit, Georgia Tom's version (was there a lady on it too?) made me larf out loud when I first heard it. Got it on vinyl or tape somewhere but I can't remember what, when, where or how! MIGHT be on a Mike Raven compilation album (Mike used to do a blues programme on BBC radio 40 years ago) |
Subject: Nice to meet all of you From: GUEST,SoundJohn Date: 21 Nov 09 - 07:43 PM Hey! Thanx for this beautiful place of the Inet!! |
Subject: RE: Folk songs appropriate for medical students From: Sandra in Sydney Date: 21 Nov 09 - 10:31 PM a few songs here - Lyr Add: The Colorectal Surgeon's Song- see Haruo's initial post for the title song 'Working where the sun don't shine' aka The Colorectal Surgeon's Song Bob Bolton's post of 10 Mar 04 - 11:51 PM for 'Rectal Bleeding Calypso' Words & Music ©: John Dengate Clinton Hammond's post of 30 Jan 05 - 04:47 PM for chords I'll try to get copies of John Dengate's other medical masterpieces "Solar Melanoma Blues" (tune - Nobody loves you when you're down and out) & "Because I neglected dental hygiene" (sung thru his new dentures!) sandra |
Subject: RE: Folk songs appropriate for medical students From: beeliner Date: 21 Nov 09 - 11:19 PM It's kind of a long thread, so I might have missed it, but did anyone mention "Oh Doctor" by Malvina Reynolds, on the "Another County Heard From" album?
-Joe Offer-
I'll keep an eye on this thread and close it again if any spam returns. |
Subject: Lyr Add: DOCTOR ROBERT (Lennon/McCartney) From: Jim Dixon Date: 21 Apr 23 - 11:36 AM This was mentioned by dwditty on 26 Apr 98: DOCTOR ROBERT (Lennon/McCartney) As recorded by The Beatles on “Revolver,” 1966. Ring my friend; I said you'd call Doctor Robert Day or night, he'll be there any time at all Doctor Robert Doctor Robert You're a new and better man He helps you to understand He does everything he can Doctor Robert If you're down, he'll pick you up Doctor Robert Take a drink from his special cup Doctor Robert Doctor Robert He's a man you must believe Helping anyone in need No one can succeed Like Doctor Robert Well, well, well, you're feeling fine Well, well, well, he'll make you Doctor Robert My friend works for the National Health Doctor Robert You'll pay money just to see yourself With Doctor Robert Doctor Robert You're a new and better man He helps you to understand He does everything he can Bob Robert Well, well, well, you're feeling fine Well, well, well, he'll make you Doctor Robert Ring my friend, I said you'd call Doctor Robert Ring my friend, I said you'd call Doctor Robert Doctor Robert…. |
Subject: Lyr Add: ROCK AND ROLL DOCTOR (Little Feat) From: Jim Dixon Date: 21 Apr 23 - 12:02 PM This was also mentioned by dwditty: ROCK AND ROLL DOCTOR (Lowell George / Fred Martin) As recorded by Little Feat on “Feats Don’t Fail Me Now,” 1974. There was a woman in Georgia didn't feel just right. She had fever all day and chills at night. Now things got worse, yes, a serious bind. At times like this, it takes a man with such style I cannot often find: A doctor of the heart and a doctor of mind. If you like country with a boogie beat, He's the man to meet. If you like the sound of shufflin' feet, He can't be beat. If you wanna feel real nice, Just ask the rock and roll doctor's advice. It's just a country town, but his patients come From Mobile to Moline, from miles around: Nagodoches to New Orleans, In beat-up old cars or in limousines, To meet the doctor of soul; he's got his very own thing. Two degrees in be-bop, a PhD in swing. He's the master of rhythm; he's a rock and roll king. If you like country with a boogie beat, He's the man to meet. (He's the man to meet.) If you like the sound of shufflin' feet, He can't be beat. (I say he can't be beat.) If you... If you wanna... If you wanna feel real nice, Just ask the rock and roll doctor's advice. |
Subject: Lyr Add: BOPPIN’ THE BLUES (Carl Perkins) From: Jim Dixon Date: 22 Apr 23 - 07:23 PM This song was quoted by Amos on 23 Jan 00: BOPPIN’ THE BLUES (Perkins/Griffin) As recorded by Carl Perkins on Sun 243, 1953 Well, all my friends are boppin’ the blues; it must be goin’ ’round. All my friends are boppin’ the blues; it must be goin’ ’round. I love you, baby, but I must be rhythm-bound. Well, the doctor told me: “Carl, you don’t need no pills.” Yeah, the doctor told me: “Boy, you don’t need no pills, Just a handful o’ nickels; the jukebox will cure your ills.” Well, all my friends are boppin’ the blues; it must be goin’ ’round. All them cats is boppin’ the blues; it must be goin’ ’round. I love you, baby; I must be rhythm-bound. Well, the old cat-bug bit me; man, I don’t feel no pain. Yeah, that jitterbug caught me; man, I don’t feel no pain. I still love you, baby, but I’ll never be the same. I said, all my friends are boppin’ the blues; it must be goin’ ’round. All my friends are boppin’ the blues; it must be goin’ ’round. I love you, baby, but I must be rhythm-bound. (Get it, cats! Let’s rock!) Well, all my friends are boppin’ the blues; it must be goin’ ’round. All them cats is boppin’ the blues and it must be goin’ ’round. I love you, baby, but I must be rhythm-bound. Well, Grandpa’s done got rhythm and he threw his crutches down. Oh, the old boy’s done got rhythm and blues and he threw them crutches down. Grandma, he ain’t triflin’; well, the old boy’s rhythm-bound. All them cats is rockin’ the blues and it must be goin’ ’round. All my friends are boppin’ the blues and it must be goin’ ’round. I love you, baby; I must be rhythm-bound. (Bop, cat, bop!) Rock, bop, rhythm and blues. Rock, bop, rhythm and blues. Rock, rock, rhythm and blues, bop! Rock, rock, rhythm and blues. Rhythm and blues, it must be goin’ ’round. |
Subject: Lyr Add: THE SACK ‘EM UP BOYS From: Tattie Bogle Date: 23 Apr 23 - 07:38 AM Only 20 years later, but referring back to the posts by Rapparee and Suzanne on 20th January 2003, here is the song that Rapparee referred to (which as Suzanne says, is not the same one as Robin Laing's song "Burke and Hare". I learned it in one of my singing classes in Edinburgh. We were told it did come from an old street song, as Rapparee suggested, which became the chorus, then possibly Robin Hall and Jimmy McGregor added some verses to it. I don't know of any recordings of it, but could write out the tune if Suzanne is still looking for it! Incidentally, the Dr Knox has nothing to do with John Knox, the preacher, but refers to Robert Knox, the then anatomy demonstrator at the Edinburgh Medical School, who required bodies to teach his students. THE SACK ‘EM UP BOYS Chorus Up the close and doon the stair, But and ben wi’ Burke and Hare, Burke’s the butcher, Hare’s the thief, Knox the boy who buys the beef. Hurry doon the Castle Wynd, Look before and look behind, There they wait tae tak yer life And sell ye fur the surgeon’s knife.... Chorus Auld or young or dark or fair, It maks na mind tae Burke and Hare, While Dr Knox peys oot the tin, They’ll sack ‘em up and bring them in..... Chorus Reekie’s rows are dark and drear, Reekie’s vennels reek wi’ fear, Mind yersel gaun doon the stair, Fur fear ye meet wi’ Burke and Hare..... Chorus |
Subject: RE: Folk songs appropriate for medical students From: Tattie Bogle Date: 23 Apr 23 - 07:45 AM As a postscript to the above, there is now a posh hotel within a very short distance of the old Edinburgh Med School site: this transformed building one used to be a "lunatic asylum", and later became The Bedlam Theatre, which some people may remember from Edinburgh Fringe shows. Now, as The Hotel du Vin, it was the venue for a recent reunion dinner with a number of medical colleagues. We were in a private room - The Burke and Hare Room, which is appropriately adorned with quite macabre paintings of anatomical specimens, bodies, body-snatchers at work, etc. It didn't put us off our dinner though! And, of course, I did have to sing the above song before we departed. |
Subject: Lyr Add: IT WON’T HURT NO MORE (Carter & Young) From: Jim Dixon Date: 23 Apr 23 - 12:38 PM This song was mentioned by lamarca on 24 Jan 00: IT WON’T HURT NO MORE As recorded by Buster Carter & Preston Young, on Columbia 15702D, 1931. “Hello, Doc; I’ve got a bad tooth. I want you to look and see what to do.” “Yes, my lady, come right in. I’ll pull it out; I’ll put one in. CHORUS: “Then it won’t hurt no more, Then it won’t hurt no more.” “What will you have me do now, Doc? Because, you know, a pain is what I’ve got.” “Just lay down and open wide, Because I want to rub it awhile. CHORUS “Wait a minute, Doc; that’s the very spot, And I hope you will get it before it rots.” “Yes, my lady, that’s the very spot, And the tool to get it I’m sure I’ve got. CHORUS “Wait a minute, Doc; I will have to shout, Because it hurts so good; don’t pull it out.” “Yes, my lady, I know it feels good, But it pleases me to do you good. CHORUS “Oh, my gosh, and great gee whiz! Can’t you let it be just like it is?” “Yes, my lady, I can let it be, But it’ll give you trouble, don’t you see? CHORUS “Go ahead, Doc and do your stuff. It done hurt me long enough.” “Yes, my lady, to tell the truth, I done pulled that doggone tooth. CHORUS: “Now it won’t hurt no more. Now it won’t hurt no more.” REPEAT - - - Also recorded by The New Lost City Ramblers on “The Young Fogies,” 1985. |
Subject: Lyr Add: MARY'S GHOST (Thomas Hood) From: Jim Dixon Date: 23 Apr 23 - 07:14 PM John Moulden mentioned this poem on 25 Jan 00. From Whims and Oddities, Second Series, by Thomas Hood (London: Charles Tilt, 1827), page 15. It was also published in several magazines that same year. MARY’S GHOST. A PATHETIC BALLAD. By Thomas Hood ’Twas in the middle of the night, To sleep young William tried, When Mary’s ghost came stealing in, And stood at his bed-side. O William dear! O William dear! My rest eternal ceases; Alas! my everlasting peace Is broken into pieces. I thought the last of all my cares Would end with my last minute; But though I went to my long home, I didn’t stay long in it. The body-snatchers they have come, And made a snatch at me; It’s very hard them kind of men Won’t let a body be! You thought that I was buried deep, Quite decent like and chary, But from her grave in Mary-bone, They’ve come and bon’d your Mary. The arm that used to take your arm Is took to Dr. Vyse; And both my legs are gone to walk The hospital at Guy’s. I vow’d that you should have my hand, But fate gives us denial; You’ll find it there, at Dr. Bell’s, In spirits and a phial. As for my feet, the little feet You used to call so pretty, There’s one, I know, in Bedford Row, The t’other’s in the city. I can’t tell where my head is gone, But Doctor Carpue can: As for my trunk, it’s all pack’d up To go by Pickford’s van. I wish you’d go to Mr. P. And save me such a ride; I don’t half like the outside place, They’ve took for my inside. The cock it crows—I must begone! My William, we must part! But I’ll be yours in death, altho’ Sir Astley has my heart. Don’t go to weep upon my grave, And think that there I be; They haven’t left an atom there, Of my anatomie. |
Subject: Lyr Add: JACK HALL (Thomas Hood) From: Jim Dixon Date: 23 Apr 23 - 08:36 PM This poem was also mentioned by John Moulden, and it appears on pages 99-109 of the same volume cited above. JACK HALL By Thomas Hood ’Tis very hard when men forsake This melancholy world, and make A bed of turf, they cannot take A quiet doze, But certain rogues will come and break Their “bone repose.” ’Tis hard we can’t give up our breath, And to the earth our earth bequeath, Without Death Fetches after death, Who thus exhume us; And snatch us from our homes beneath, And hearths posthumous. The tender lover comes to rear The mournful urn, and shed his tear— Her glorious dust, he cries, is here! Alack! alack! The while his Sacharissa dear Is in a sack! ’Tis hard one cannot lie amid The mould, beneath a coffin-lid, But thus the Faculty will bid Their rogues break thro’ it! If they don’t want us there, why did They send us to it? One of these sacrilegious knaves, Who crave as hungry vulture craves, Behaving as the goul behaves, ’Neath church-yard wall— Mayhap because he fed on graves, Was nam’d Jack Hall. By day it was his trade to go Tending the black coach to and fro; And sometimes at the door of woe, With emblems suitable, He stood with brother Mute, to show That life is mutable. But long before they pass’d the ferry, The dead that he had help’d to bury, He sack’d—(he had a sack to carry The bodies off in.) In fact, he let them have a very Short fit of coffin. Night after night, with crow and spade, He drove this dead but thriving trade, Meanwhile his conscience never weigh’d A single horsehair; On corses of all kinds he prey’d, A perfect corsair! At last—it may be, Death took spite, Or jesting only meant to fright— He sought for Jack night after night The churchyards round; And soon they met, the man and sprite, In Pancras’ ground. Jack, by the glimpses of the moon, Perceiv’d the bony knacker soon, An awful shape to meet at noon Of night and lonely; But Jack’s tough courage did but swoon A minute only. Anon he gave his spade a swing Aloft, and kept it brandishing, Ready for what mishaps might spring From this conjunction; Funking indeed was quite a thing Beside his function. “Hollo!” cried Death, “d’ye wish your sands Run out? the stoutest never stands A chance with me,—to my commands The strongest truckles; But I’m your friend—so let’s shake hands, I should say—knuckles.” Jack, glad to see th’ old sprite so sprightly, And meaning nothing but uprightly, Shook hands at once, and, bowing slightly, His mull did proffer: But Death, who had no nose, politely Declin’d the offer. Then sitting down upon a bank, Leg over leg, shank over shank, Like friends for conversation frank, That had no check on: Quoth Jack unto the Lean and Lank, “You’re Death, I reckon.” The Jaw-bone grinn’d:—“I am that same, You’ve hit exactly on my name; In truth it has some little fame Where burial sod is.” Quoth Jack, (and wink’d,) “of course ye came Here after bodies.” Death grinn’d again and shook his head:— “I’ve little business with the dead; When they are fairly sent to bed I’ve done my turn; Whether or not the worms are fed Is your concern. “My errand here, in meeting you, Is nothing but a ‘how-d’ye-do;’ I’ve done what jobs I had—a few Along this way; If I can serve a crony too, I beg you’ll say.” Quoth Jack, “Your Honour’s very kind: And now I call the thing to mind, This parish very strict I find; But in the next ’un There lives a very well-inclin’d Old sort of sexton.” Death took the hint, and gave a wink As well as eyelet holes can blink; Then stretching out his arm to link The other’s arm,— “Suppose,” says he, “we have a drink Of something warm.” Jack nothing loth, with friendly ease Spoke up at once:— “Why, what ye please; Hard by there is the Cheshire Cheese, A famous tap.” But this suggestion seem’d to teaze The bony chap. “No, no—your mortal drinks are heady, And only make my hand unsteady; I do not even care for Deady, And loathe your rum; But I’ve some glorious brewage ready, My drink is—mum!” And off they set, each right content— Who knows the dreary way they went? But Jack felt rather faint and spent, And out of breath; At last he saw, quite evident, The door of Death. All other men had been unmann’d To see a coffin on each hand, That served a skeleton to stand By way of sentry; In fact, Death has a very grand And awful entry. Throughout his dismal sign prevails, His name is writ in coffin nails, The mortal darts make area rails; A scull that mocketh, Grins on the gloomy gate, and quails Whoever knocketh. And lo! on either side, arise Two monstrous pillars—bones of thighs; A monumental slab supplies The step of stone, Where waiting for his master lies A dog of bone. The dog leapt up, but gave no yell, The wire was pull’d, but woke no bell, The ghastly knocker rose and fell, But caused no riot; The ways of Death, we all know well, Are very quiet. Old Bones stept in; Jack stepp’d behind. Quoth Death, “I really hope you’ll find The entertainment to your mind, As I shall treat ye— A friend or two of goblin kind, I’ve asked to meet ye.” And lo! a crowd of spectres tall, Like jack-a-lanterns on a wall, Were standing—every ghastly ball An eager watcher. “My friends,” says Death—“friends, Mr. Hall, The body-snatcher.” Lord, what a tumult it produc’d, When Mr. Hall was introduced! Jack even, who had long been used To frightful things, Felt just as if his back was sluic’d With freezing springs! Each goblin face began to make Some horrid mouth—ape—gorgon—snake; And then a spectre-hag would shake An airy thigh-bone; And cried, (or seem’d to cry,) I’ll break Your bone, with my bone! Some ground their teeth—some seem’d to spit— (Nothing, but nothing came of it,) A hundred awful brows were knit In dreadful spite. Thought Jack—I’m sure I’d better quit, Without good night. One skip and hop and he was clear, And running like a hunted deer, As fleet as people run by fear Well spurr’d and whipp’d, Death, ghosts, and all in that career Were quite outstripp’d. But those who live by death must die; Jack’s soul at last prepar’d to fly; And when his latter end drew nigh, Oh! what a swarm Of doctors came,—but not to try To keep him warm. No ravens ever scented prey So early where a dead horse lay, Nor vultures sniff’d so far away A last convulse; A dozen “guests” day after day Were “at his pulse.” ’Twas strange, altho’ they got no fees, How still they watch’d by twos and threes: But Jack a very little ease Obtain’d from them; In fact he did not find M. D.s Worth one D—M. The passing bell with hollow toll Was in his thought—the dreary hole! Jack gave his eyes a horrid roll, And then a cough:— “There’s something weighing on my soul I wish was off; “All night it roves about my brains, All day it adds to all my pains, It is concerning my remains When I am dead;” Twelve wigs and twelve gold-headed canes Drew near his bed. “Alas!” he sighed, “I’m sore afraid, A dozen pangs my heart invade; But when I drove a certain trade In flesh and bone, There was a little bargain made About my own.” Twelve suits of black began to close, Twelve pair of sleek and sable hose, Twelve flowing cambric frills in rows, At once drew round; Twelve noses turn’d against his nose, Twelve snubs profound. “Ten guineas did not quite suffice, And so I sold my body twice; Twice did not do—I sold it thrice, Forgive my crimes! In short I have received its price A dozen times!” Twelve brows got very grim and black, Twelve wishes stretch’d him on the rack, Twelve pair of hands for fierce attack Took up position, Ready to share the dying Jack By long division. Twelve angry doctors wrangled so, That twelve had struck an hour ago, Before they had an eye to throw On the departed; Twelve heads turn’d round at once, and lo! Twelve doctors started. Whether some comrade of the dead, Or Satan took it in his head To steal the corpse—the corpse had fled! ’Tis only written, That “there was nothing in the bed, But twelve were bitten!” |
Subject: Lyr Add: THE SURGEON’S WARNING (Robert Southey) From: Jim Dixon Date: 23 Apr 23 - 09:30 PM The third poem mentioned by John Moulden. From Poems, Vol. 2, by Robert Southey, (London: T. N. Longman and O. Rees, 1799), pages 163-173: THE SURGEON’S WARNING. By Robert Southey The Doctor whispered to the Nurse And the Surgeon knew what he said, And he grew pale at the Doctor’s tale And trembled in his sick bed. Now fetch me my brethren and fetch them with speed The Surgeon affrighted said, The Parson and the Undertaker, Let them hasten or I shall be dead. The Parson and the Undertaker They hastily came complying, And the Surgeon’s Prentices ran up stairs When they heard that their master was dying. The Prentices all they entered the room By one, by two, by three, With a sly grin came Joseph in, First of the company. The Surgeon swore as they enter’d his door, ’Twas fearful his oaths to hear,— Now send these scoundrels to the Devil, For God’s sake my brethren dear. He foam’d at the mouth with the rage he felt And he wrinkled his black eye-brow, That rascal Joe would be at me I know, But zounds let him spare me now. Then out they sent the Prentices, The fit it left him weak, He look’d at his brothers with ghastly eyes, And faintly struggled to speak. All kinds of carcasses I have cut up, And the judgment now must be— But brothers I took care of you, So pray take care of me! I have made candles of infants fat The Sextons have been my slaves, I have bottled babes unborn, and dried Hearts and livers from rifled graves. And my Prentices now will surely come And carve me bone from bone, And I who have rifled the dead man’s grave Shall never have rest in my own. Bury me in lead when I am dead, My brethren I intreat, And see the coffin weigh’d I beg Lest the Plumber should be a cheat. And let it be solder’d closely down Strong as strong can be I implore, And put it in a patent coffin, That I may rise no more. If they carry me off in the patent coffin Their labour will be in vain, Let the Undertaker see it bought of the maker Who lives by St. Martin’s lane. And bury me in my brother’s church For that will safer be, And I implore lock the church door And pray take care of the key. And all night long let three stout men The vestry watch within, To each man give a gallon of beer And a keg of Holland’s gin; Powder and ball and blunder-buss To save me if he can, And eke five guineas if he shoot A resurrection man. And let them watch me for three weeks My wretched corpse to save, For then I think that I may stink Enough to rest in my grave. The Surgeon laid him down in his bed, His eyes grew deadly dim, Short came his breath and the struggle of death Distorted every limb. They put him in lead when he was dead And shrouded up so neat, And they the leaden coffin weigh Lest the Plumber should be a cheat. They had it solder’d closely down And examined it o’er and o’er, And they put it in a patent coffin That he might rise no more. For to carry him off in a patent coffin Would they thought be but labour in vain, So the Undertaker saw it bought of the maker Who lives by St. Martin’s lane. In his brother’s church they buried him That safer he might be, They lock’d the door and would not trust The Sexton with the key. And three men in the vestry watch To save him if they can, And should he come there to shoot they swear A resurrection man. And the first night by lanthorn light Thro’ the church yard as they went, A guinea of gold the sexton shewed That Mister Joseph sent. But conscience was tough, it was not enough And their honesty never swerved, And they bade him go with Mister Joe To the Devil as he deserved. So all night long by the vestry fire They quaff’d their gin and ale, And they did drink as you may think And told full many a tale. The second night by lanthorn light Thro’ the church-yard as they went, He whisper’d anew and shew’d them two That Mister Joseph sent. The guineas were bright and attracted their sight They look’d so heavy and new, And their fingers itch’d as they were bewitch’d And they knew not what to do. But they waver’d not long for conscience was strong And they thought they might get more, And they refused the gold, but not So rudely as before. So all night long by the vestry fire They quaffd their gin and ale, And they did drink as you may think And told full many a tale. The third night as by lanthorn light Thro’ the church-yard they went, He bade them see and shew’d them three That Mister Joseph sent. They look’d askance with eager glance, The guineas they shone bright, For the Sexton on the yellow gold Let fall his lanthorn light. And he look’d sly with his roguish eye And gave a well-tim’d wink, And they could not stand the sound in his hand For he made the guineas chink. And conscience late that had such weight, All in a moment fails, For well they knew that it was true A dead man told no tales, And they gave all their powder and ball And took the gold so bright, And they drank their beer and made good cheer, ’Till now it was midnight. Then, tho’ the key of the church door Was left with the Parson his brother, It opened at the Sexton’s touch— Because he had another. And in they go with that villain Joe To fetch the body by night, And all the church look’d dismally By his dark lanthorn light. They laid the pick-axe to the stones And they moved them soon asunder, They shovell’d away the hard-prest clay And came to the coffin under. They burst the patent coffin first And they cut thro’ the lead, And they laugh’d aloud when they saw the shroud Because they had got at the dead. And they allowed the Sexton the shroud And they put the coffin back, And nose and knees they then did squeeze The Surgeon in a sack. The watchmen as they past along Full four yards off could smell, And a curse bestowed upon the load So disagreeable. So they carried the sack a-pick-a-back And they carv’d him bone from bone, But what became of the Surgeon’s soul Was never to mortal known. |
Subject: Lyr Add: DOCTOR FEEL-GOOD (W.Perryman/'Piano Red') From: Jim Dixon Date: 24 Apr 23 - 03:16 PM This is the song I quoted on 16 Feb 00 and mentioned again the next day. Today I found it on YouTube and transcribed it. DOCTOR FEEL-GOOD (C. Smith) As recorded by Dr. Feelgood* and the Interns on Okeh 4-7144 (45-rpm), 1962. [YouTube] Hey, all o’ you women—now, don’t come around Unless you weigh—around four hundred pound. I’m from way down home—and I don’t eat chine bone. You got to be—all right with me Because the doctor—is really hard to please. Now, you talk about women—I love ‘em all. I love ‘em big—and then I love ‘em tall. But if you don’t weigh what I want, baby—don’t come around at all. You got to be—all right with me Because the doctor—is really hard to please. Now, you talk about women—I love ‘em all. I love ‘em big—and then I love ‘em tall. If you don’t weigh what I want, baby—don’t come around at all. Well, they call me the doctor (Oh, yeah!) in my neighborhood (Oh, yeah!) But my baby she calls me (Oh, yeah!) oh, Doctor Feelgood (Oh, yeah!) Oh, you ever feel good? (Oh, yeah!) Have you ever felt good? (Oh, yeah!) Well, you talk about women. (Oh, yeah!) That’s all I crave. (Oh, yeah!) I believe, I believe (Oh, yeah!) they gonna take me to my grave. (Oh, yeah!) Good, good, good, good, good, good. (Oh, yeah!) So good. (Oh, yeah!) So good. (Oh, yeah!) Good, good, good, good, good, good. (Oh, yeah!) FADE. - - - * Pseudonym of Willie Lee Perryman, a.k.a. Piano Red [Wikipedia]. Other recordings, made later than 1962, feature Perryman playing barrelhouse piano: From “Dr. Feelgood” 1980. [Spotify] From “Dr. Feelgood” 2000. [Spotify] From “The Lost Atlanta Tapes,” 2010. [Spotify] |
Subject: Lyr Add: THE DOCTOR (Loudon Wainwright III) From: Jim Dixon Date: 24 Apr 23 - 04:00 PM This was mentioned by Fossil_at_home on 27 Jun 02. I found the lyrics online and then checked them against the recording on Spotify. (I had to rearrange the line breaks so that the rhymes would come at the end of each line; why don’t people bother with this?) Words in parentheses are spoken ad lib by Wainwright. THE DOCTOR As recorded by Loudon Wainwright III on “History,” 1991. I went to the doctor and the doctor said: "Son, You look older than me, and I'm seventy-one. You're falling apart and not living right.” I went to the doctor and the doctor said: "Loud, You've got to stop hanging out with that olden crowd. Living's a battle and you're losing the fight.” I went to the doctor and the doctor said: "Boy, Your body is a temple; it's not a toy. Fill up this here paper cup and give it to the nurse. (Don't spill it, now.) I went to the doctor and the doctor said: "Friend, This should be the middle but it could be the end. You better get better or else you're gonna get worse.” Oh, I went to the doctor. Oh, I went to the doctor. I went to the doctor and the doctor said: "Sir, We got back the x-ray; everything's a blur. It's all positive; that's what every single test shows.” I went to the doctor and the doctor said: "Kid, It was something that you ate or drank or something that you did, And it's all in your head and it's spreadin’ on down to your toes.” (Let's spread it around a little bit now.) [Instrumental break with harmonica taking the melody] Oh, I went to the doctor. (Everybody does.) Oh, I went to the doctor. I went to the doctor and the doctor said: "Please, Get on down to the drug store and pick up some of these. After that, get on home and get into your bed.” I went to the doctor and the doctor said: "Shucks! That's just about all; you owe me three hundred bucks, And you can call me in the morning, that is, if you're not dead.” [Pause. It sounds as if the song has ended, but then...] (2, 3, 4... ) Oh, I went to the doctor. (I was checkin’ up on you.) Oh, I went to the doctor. |
Subject: Lyr Add: THE NIGHTSHIFT BLUES From: Tattie Bogle Date: 24 Apr 23 - 05:54 PM This is one I wrote, back in the day when I had to go out all hours of the day and night......Back when we had a Doctors' Cooperative in West Lothian in the 2000s. Hopefully no confidentiality breached but all true stories! (NHS 24 was what followed on from the local Drs' cooperatives, and still exists today) THE NIGHTSHIFT BLUES Author: TS 24.10.05. Last night shift done on 26.09.04. Well at four in the morning, we got a shout, Said, “Wake up driver and take me out” On the night-shift baby, woo-hoo, on the night-shift baby, woo-oo-hoo, On the night shift baby and I just can’t get no rest. Goin’ to the far Wild West of the neighbourhood, Gotta be Stoneyburn, ain’t so good, on the night-shift baby, etc Next time out we go to see a fine lady, Got this wracking cough and it’s drivin’ her crazy, on the night-shift baby, etc She’s a-shiverin’ and a-shakin’ all over her body Tell her she should brew herself a big hot toddy, on the night-shift baby, etc Well the kid’s got a fever, and they won’t bring him out “We got no transport” down the phone they shout, on the night-shift baby, etc There’s three cars on the drive but no wheels and no tax And the sick kid’s tucking into Snak-a-Jacks, on the night-shift baby, etc Then we came to the house of a little old man His piles had been a-bleedin’ all over the pan, on the night-shift baby, etc So I went to the freezer for some Birds Eye peas-a Said “Sit on these, they should give you some ease-a”, on the night-shift baby, etc There’s a fella lookin’ lost but he don’t look so sick, Says his wife’s in labour, I gotta be quick, on the night-shift baby, etc, Driver says “Follow Me”, his green light’s a-flashin’ But the lady’s already in the labour ward pushin’, on the night-shift baby, etc I got my stethoscope, (audience repeat), I got my bag of dope, (audience repeat) Got my bottle of Calpol “ “ Got my handy scalpel “ “ Got my mobile phone, With its cool ringtone Got my glucose meter To see if you’re sweeter Got my reflex hammer Got my Polaroid camera Got my digital thermometer Got my cardiac monitor Got my nebuliser Got my oxygen analyser Got my defibrillator Got my resuscitator So the car boot’s full and I just can’t get no rest Now we’re back into base, gotta sleep on the floor, Since they broke the camp beds we ain’t got no more, on the night-shift baby, etc If you ain’t got a badge you can’t get thro’ the door So I ain’t signing up to NHS 24, on the night-shift baby, etc And the sun’s coming up and I just ain’t, just ain’t………………………………….. had no rest. |
Subject: Lyr Add: PILLS (Leon Rosselson) From: Jim Dixon Date: 25 Apr 23 - 12:41 AM I wonder if this is the song that Susanne (skw) had in mind when she mentioned “Pills” on 28 Jun 02. She said it was by Adam McNaughtan, but this one seems to be written by Leon Rosselson. PILLS As recorded by Leon Rosselson on “Temporary Loss of Vision,” 1983. It was on a Monday morning; I was tired, my head was turning, And I couldn’t face the thought of going back to work and so, I paid a visit to the doctor and he gave me the once over, Said: “Don’t worry; we’ll soon have you on the go. CHORUS: “You need pills, pills, pills and pills, pills to take the pain away. Just swallow two three times a day; you’ll be as good as new, And we’ve got pills to make you happy, pills to pep you up and calm you down, It’s magic what a pill can do.” So I took the dose as ordered and my energy was restored, But I was twitching, I was itching, couldn’t keep my body still, So I twitched right back to see the quack. “Ah, yes,” he said, “we’ll soon cure that. I’ll just prescribe another little pill.” CHORUS Well, the twitching soon subsided, then I couldn’t [raise?] my eyelids. I was dozy, droopy, drowsy; I asked the doctor why. He just took a little look at his new multi-colored book, And then he shook me from my slumber with a cry. CHORUS Now my cupboard’s overflowing with the pills that keep me going. I’ve got yellow, pink and orange ones; I can’t think what they’re for, But they look so reassuring, I suppose they must be curing me. I wonder how I ever coped before. CHORUS: Without pills…. Now the drug firms are delighted and they say I should be knighted ’Cause I keep their profits healthy and they’ve got a super plan To launch a major operation to present me to the nation As a fully working model of a well-adjusted man. CHORUS - - - This song is also on Rosselson’s “Guess What They’re Selling at the Happiness Counter,” 1992. It was also recorded by The McCalmans on "Festival Lights," 1995. |
Subject: RE: Folk songs appropriate for medical students From: Jack Campin Date: 01 Oct 24 - 07:41 PM Ian Lowthian's tune commemorating his surgery for bowel cancer: Oma the Stoma |
Subject: RE: Folk songs appropriate for medical students From: Thompson Date: 02 Oct 24 - 04:04 PM For those medical students intending to work with the military: When going the road to sweet Athy, hurroo, hurroo, When going the road to sweet Athy, hurroo, hurroo, When goin' the road to sweet Athy A stick in my hand and a tear in me eye A doleful damsel I heard cry: Johnny I hardly knew you. With your drums and guns and your guns and drums, hurroo, hurroo With your drums and guns and your guns and drums, hurroo, hurroo With your drums and guns and your guns and drums The enemy nearly slew you Oh darling dear, you look so queer Johnny I hardly knew you. Where are the eyes that looked so mild, hurroo, hurroo Where are the eyes that looked so mild, hurroo, hurroo Where are the eyes that looked so mild When my poor heart you first beguiled Why did you skedaddle from me and the child Johnny, I hardly knew you Where are the legs with which you run, hurroo, hurroo, O where are the legs with which you run, hurroo, hurroo, Where are the legs with which you run, When first you went to carry a gun, Indeed your dancing days are done, Johnny, I hardly knew you. You haven't an arm, you haven't a leg, hurroo, hurroo You haven't an arm, you haven't a leg, hurroo, hurroo Ye haven't an arm, ye haven't a leg You're an eyeless, noseless, chickenless egg You'll have to be put in a bowl to beg Johnny I hardly knew you. |
Subject: RE: Folk songs appropriate for medical students From: Jack Campin Date: 02 Oct 24 - 08:07 PM Maybe the pill song Susanne was thinking of was Matt McGinn's "Bridget and the Pill"? |
Subject: RE: Folk songs appropriate for medical students From: Thompson Date: 03 Oct 24 - 04:17 AM And was it the Trinity College Dublin medical students who had the football chant in the 1930s: Gonorrhea, Gonorrhea Siph, Siph, Siph! |
Subject: RE: Folk songs appropriate for medical students From: Thompson Date: 08 Oct 24 - 10:43 AM My spelling has let me down; of course the medical students' chant was Gonorrhea, Gonorrhea, Syph! Syph! Syph! |
Subject: RE: Folk songs appropriate for medical students From: FreddyHeadey Date: 08 Oct 24 - 12:34 PM related thread Songs About Disease https://mudcat.org/thread.cfm?threadid=20722 ,,,& see the 'Related threads' list at the top of that page. |
Subject: RE: Folk songs appropriate for medical students From: GUEST,Ray Date: 08 Oct 24 - 01:00 PM Song already mentioned but, for anyone with aspirations, the “Colorectal Surgeon” - We praise the colorectal surgeon Misunderstood and much maligned Slaving away in the heart of darkness Working where the sun don’t shine Respect the colorectal surgeon It’s a calling few would crave Lift up your hands and join us Let’s all do the finger wave When it comes to spreading joy There are many techniques Some spread joy unto the world And others just spread cheeks Some think the cardiologist He might be their best friend But the colorectal surgeon knows… He’ll get you in the end! Why become a colorectal surgeon? It’s one of those mysterious things. Is it because in that profession There are lots of openings? When I first met a colorectal surgeon He did not quite understand; I said, “It’s very nice to meet you But do you mind if we don’t shake hands.” He sailed right through medical school Because he was a whiz but he never thought of psychology When he read passages. A doctor he aspired to be For golf he loved to play, But this is not quite what he meant… By eighteen holes a day! Respect the colorectal surgeon Here and now we’ll raise a glass For the rectal surgeon, like the rectum Can tell a liquid from a gas We praise the colorectal surgeon Misunderstood and much maligned Slaving away in the heart of darkness Working where the sun don’t shine |
Subject: RE: Folk songs appropriate for medical students From: The Sandman Date: 14 Oct 24 - 04:27 PM The Jug of Punch. |
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