BS: Dirty Old Git - missed at Whitby

Subject: BS: Dirty Old Git - missed at Whitby
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 24 Aug 03 - 10:13 AM

Dear dirty old git

I understand from Dave that after the confusion over the duel - you and the Old git nearly having the same names that you then refused to come to Whitby in case you had to come 'souf av the Thames'- you missed a good weekend my friend - not to mention the chance to meet me - I understand you could be in the running to be husband number 8

R&WR

Subject: RE: BS: Dirty Old Git - missed at Whitby
From: Cattail
Date: 24 Aug 03 - 04:08 PM

Hello Red and White Rabbit


How have you got to Number 8? You were only on five in the "duel"
thread.

It's all very intriguing

Please tell all, we'd love to know.

Cheers

Cattail 0~

Subject: RE: BS: Dirty Old Git - missed at Whitby
From: GUEST
Date: 25 Aug 03 - 03:34 AM

Hi Cattail 0

Well apparently Dirty Old Git would have been quite happy to fight for my paw that made number 8. Then Col K and I had one or two liaisons every morning at the festival office - number 7. And someone whose name I will not tell on Mudcat made me an offer which I havent yet refused so he was number six. Interestingly enough I was at Saddleworth last night and had a 9th offer.....

Its wonderful for my ego.........

Subject: RE: BS: Dirty Old Git - missed at Whitby
From: Col K
Date: 25 Aug 03 - 04:17 PM

And not only at the festival office my dear.

Subject: RE: BS: Dirty Old Git - missed at Whitby
From: Little Hawk
Date: 25 Aug 03 - 05:04 PM

I imagine there are enough dirty old gits in Whitby already so that this one won't have been too sorely missed.

Subject: RE: BS: Dirty Old Git - missed at Whitby
From: Cattail
Date: 25 Aug 03 - 07:14 PM

Hi guest, (R&W Rabbit sans cookie?)

Having been an avid reader of the "duel" thread, but not being part of
your "set", I couldn't understand how you had got through so many
husbands in such a short time but now I see how you got to that number.


You must be a very svelte and attractive little rabbit to have all the bucks chasing after you like this. Have you any photo's on the "cat" so we can all admire such beauty? And maybe even challenge husband number............Er, sorry I've lost track again, for your paw.


Unfortunately my doe keeps me well under *her* paw, otherwise I would
be hopping over in your direction to see you for myself.
(Thinks!! How can I get rid of her for a week or three?)

As you say, all these offers work wonders for your ego, you must be
hopping all over the carrot patch with joy. And of course being
happy keeps your fur sleek and your little white tail glossy, so
keep it up. (The husbanding offers, as well as your tail).

All best wishes (and many more husbands) to you

Cattail !

Subject: RE: BS: Dirty Old Git - missed at Whitby
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 26 Aug 03 - 06:23 AM

We've only just got home, so we haven't had a chance to get in touch with Harrold (Dirty old Git) yet. It's always a bit difficult to get through to his retirement home as two of the ladies (Bertha and Elizabeth) are running a sort of chatline (you've probably received spam about "Nubile young teenagers would like to discuss sex problems") and matron is usually seeking spiritual advice from the new young vicar.

We might be popping over the river tonight, so we'll see if we can have a word with him. If he does contact you though, do be careful not to fall for his line about "going fifty-fifty with you if you'll lend him the cash to hire a bulldozer to dig up the gold from the Brinks-Matt robbery". I'm sure that you'd find him delightful company - he could have had any girl from Stepney to East Ham in the days when he worked for his old bosses Ronnie and Reggie. He's still got a good head of hair and his own teeth (although he managed to end up with Bertha's recently when they were disturbed during an intimate session).

Subject: RE: BS: Dirty Old Git - missed at Whitby
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 26 Aug 03 - 06:31 AM

Sue, if It wasn't for the fact that I wouldn't like to cross either Harrold or Essex Girl, I might have considered throwing my hat in the ring - even if you did tell me "No tongues" when we snogged at Whitby - Essex Girls never mind !

Subject: RE: BS: Dirty Old Git - missed at Whitby
From: GUEST
Date: 26 Aug 03 - 08:01 AM

I am getting concerned - I am losing tracks of husbands - and its a warren not a set Cattail - badgers live in sets!! yes there is unfortuantely a picture of me on the net - I only wish your description of me was true!! I am not telling you which one is me but you need to chack out the photos of the Beverley duel

R&WR

Subject: RE: BS: Dirty Old Git - missed at Whitby
From: EBarnacle1
Date: 26 Aug 03 - 09:34 AM

I neither admit to nor deny anything.

Subject: RE: BS: Dirty Old Git - missed at Whitby
From: GUEST,red and white rabbit
Date: 27 Aug 03 - 05:51 AM

I am going to have to reset this - having MCFAT stay at my house and using my computer meant he has taken off the cookie thinggy and I keep appearing as guest

MCFAT - kids want to know when you are returning they are missing the highly intellectual conversation and jokes - James says pleeeeeeese take him up to Scotland with you - though he still hasnt sorted out his football team - will try to get him to do it today

EBarnacle I reckon that in itself could be an admission of guilt!!

Subject: RE: BS: Dirty Old Git - missed at Whitby
From: old git
Date: 27 Aug 03 - 06:12 AM

Mcfat..intellectual????!!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Dirty Old Git - missed at Whitby
From: GUEST,Dirty Old Git
Date: 27 Aug 03 - 06:23 AM

Hello luv, I've just eard that yer might like ter meet up wiv me after all. It's bin a bit dodgy ere recently, but fings seem ter ave cleared up a bit now. The bishop had a good talk wiv the vicar an is gorn orf on a retreat or sumfink for six months. The bishop also came an ad a good talk to matron all about Jesus loving sinners - reckon that ee must know bout sinning coz I eard im telling matron that ee'd bin a bad boy and askin er ter cane im for it and gor she didn't alf give im a good wallopin - ee could ardly walk when ee came out of er room. I thought bishops were sposed ter be good and holy, but this one always seemes ter be askin matron to punish im. We managed ter sort out the home's money problems an all. We made a withdrawal from a bank wiv a bit of help from me old sawn-off and old Ginger "Gas-Pedal" Parker hasn't lost is touch as a get-away driver.

We even got our computer back, an I don't fink that any of those vice squad rozzers will want ter look at it again. After they'd found the pictures of Big Bertha and Loose Liz - specially the ones they took on the trip we all went on ter that city farm place - several of em asked to be moved back ter traffic division. I dunno wot all the fuss was about - that old donkey woz really enjoying hisself. Mind yer old Taffy Evans ad a good time wiv the sheep - ee managed ter try out the new velcro gloves wot is son sent im fer chrismas - reckons they beat wellie boots any day.

Anyway luv, I'd be glad ter see yer sometime soon. I don't mind about yer not liking tongues - I got a bit turned off about that after the time that Ronnie tried ter snogg me at a party all those years ago. I'm glad ter hear that yer don't live south of the river - never liked goin over there even after the Richardsons got sorted out. My bus pass will take me up north as far as Edgware - could you pick me up from there as I don't ave any wheels these days - mind yer, I expect old Gas Pedal could borrow me a jamjar if I needed one.

Subject: RE: BS: Dirty Old Git - missed at Whitby
From: Raggytash
Date: 27 Aug 03 - 07:18 AM

I think I heard that voice at Whitby, are you sure you were'nt there Dirty Old Git

Subject: RE: BS: Dirty Old Git - missed at Whitby
From: GUEST,Dirty Old Git
Date: 27 Aug 03 - 10:41 AM

Whitby - ain't that up on the norfeast coast near Clacton ? Nah, aven't been up that way since we went for a boat ride wiv a geezer called Frank Mitchell.

Tell yer what Mr Raggytash - yer sound like the sort ov sportin bloke who'd be intrested in an investment. I'm looking fer someone who could lend me a bit of dosh - a monkey or so. There's this ere drum in Dagenham where I usta live. Now when I was there I stashed some gear under the floor boards. It's up fer rent at the moment an I reckons that the loot still sitting there. Wot d'yer say - you banknote me and I'll share the proceeds wiv yer fifty/fifty - most of it was tom. Let me know if yer in fer it and I'll tell yer where ter send the rhino - it'll ave to be in used notes mindyer.

One bloke to anover - what does this rabbit bint look like ? Me mate Dave says she's quite a well bilt type - bit smaller than Bertha though. Well I likes em nice an solid wiv decent jugs on em. Does she like a bit of hows-yer-father regular like ?

Subject: RE: BS: Dirty Old Git - missed at Whitby
From: Raggytash
Date: 27 Aug 03 - 07:05 PM

Dirty Old Git, I like your style, dress up as a folk singer, melt into the backgound, I mean who's going to notice a scruffy git with a beard at a folk festival, size the job up, move out of town and go for the big one. Clever. Count me in, I know the roads and the short cuts..............

Subject: RE: BS: Dirty Old Git - missed at Whitby
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 27 Aug 03 - 07:06 PM

I object to being called a bint!!

That b....y Moor and Coast Gang call me a bint and I am not!!

Remember Sir Rags Dave warned us this tricky character might try to persuade you to part with some dosh I have gone right off the thought of him becoming a future husand now that he has called me a bint - whilt though protect my honour sire since the Lord MCFat has disappeared off with the Lady Bridwidder - he likes her being on top!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Dirty Old Git - missed at Whitby
From: Raggytash
Date: 27 Aug 03 - 07:16 PM

Oy Dirty Old Git, you came in on the story cos someone was posing as you using the pseundowhatsit Old Git, if you could arrange for something to happen to him, you get my drift, you'd be doing a BIG favour for a mate of mine. Might be a knighthood in it for you

Subject: RE: BS: Dirty Old Git - missed at Whitby
From: Raggytash
Date: 27 Aug 03 - 07:22 PM

Rabbit, which bit of honour are you referring to

Subject: RE: BS: Dirty Old Git - missed at Whitby
From: old git
Date: 28 Aug 03 - 04:11 AM

Don't trust their talk of Knighthood Dirty old git....their words are but straws in the wind.

Subject: RE: BS: Dirty Old Git - missed at Whitby
From: GUEST,Dirty Old Git
Date: 28 Aug 03 - 05:44 AM

Sorry Luv - didn't mean to upset yah. Down ere bint is a sorta nice fing ter call a bird - bit like callin a bloke a Diamond Geezer. Anyway innit what a-rabs or sumfink call a pretty girl.

Wot d'yer say, could we meet up some time - if yer come down ere, I could take yer to a posh pub like the Blind Beggar (where we done in Georgie Cornell) wot does a great pint of Guiness, and then orf for a posh Chinkie Meal in East India Dock Road wot was the original Chinatown before it moved up west. If your mate Raggybash comes up wiv the uckers for the gaff in Dagenham, I could take yer back there and we could make ourselves comfortable - if you know wot I mean.

You'd ave to spring me out of the 'ome though, an we'd ave to make sure that Bertha and Liz didn't see yer coz they'd wanna scratch yer eyes out. Mindjer they ad this young bloke come ter visit them wot rang up their chatline. Ee managed ter jump out of the bog window in the end and the last we saw of im, ee was streaking towards Epping Forest - perhaps ee's the fellow wots running ter Scotland in is birfday suit - coz the girls ad still got 'is togs. Bertha and Liz still like sniffing 'is pants - randy cows.

Subject: RE: BS: Dirty Old Git - missed at Whitby
From: Raggytash
Date: 28 Aug 03 - 01:42 PM

Dirty Old Git, as me late father used to say, neither a borrower nor a lender be unless you want a face full of fist.
Still reckon you were up to case the Scarborough Building Society, big place lots of dosh. Like a said Ginger Parker don't know the place as I do, lots of farm tracks to lose the fuzz I know, got a mate with a boat as well, if it's on count me in.

Subject: RE: BS: Dirty Old Git - missed at Whitby
From: Herga Kitty
Date: 28 Aug 03 - 05:43 PM

I must be about 20 years out of date - I didn't know that the original Chinatown restaurant in the East India Dock Road had moved up West (shock, horror). IIRC it had one of those revolving tables so that the dishes came round to you.

Kitty

Subject: RE: BS: Dirty Old Git - missed at Whitby
From: Raggytash
Date: 28 Aug 03 - 07:25 PM

Dangerous talk that, up here girl, they have then in Morturaries

Subject: RE: BS: Dirty Old Git - missed at Whitby
From: GUEST,Dirty Old Git
Date: 29 Aug 03 - 06:27 AM

Nah Mr Taggyrash, I'm strictly legit now - I might have pulled that North London blag the uvver month, but that was only ter help matron cover up that she'd bin fiddlin the books. She ain't goin ter try that agin, not wiv wot we've got on er now. Bertha told er just what it was like in 'Olloway an matron don't fancy being banged-up wiv a load of violent dykes an no fellas.

Kitty - wot I meant is that Chinatown itself 'as moved up west - ter that poncey street wiv the bleedin dragon gateways - wiv still got some of the old places, but they keeps knocking em down for all this bloomin docklands yuppie changes. Reggie and Ronnie usta get on wiv the slant-eyed buggers ok, but I can remember a coupla of the Lewisham mob wot tried ter walk outa the Old Friends wivout paying. The cooks chased em off down Cable Street wiv meat cleavers. Never saw em again, but we woz careful not ter eat there for a while - spesherlly after a bloke found an eyeball in 'is sweet an sour pork.

I 'ere that yor quite a looker, Kitty, an that yer live up near 'Arrer somewhere. I could get up there on me bus pass if yer game, andjer could sing some songs fer me. Coz of me funny turns, it'd be best if we could find somewhere wiv a bed so I could lie down if I needed ter. I could teach yer some of my songs too - betcha don't know the one wot goes -

I wore no trousers and she wore no blouses
An we both wore no underclothes
An when she carressed me she darn near undressed me
Wot a pleasure no man knows

I got a lot of uvvers like that wot I learned from me me various dads. There's even quite a few songs I picked up in the nick.

I reckon that bunnie rabbit's gone off me now, but from wot I gather, she lives norf of Watford an it's bit far for me ter get these days. Mindjer, it was er wot started this 'ere fred an wiv all these 'usbands, she sounds like proper PT.