BS: What Do Sheep Want?

Subject: BS: What Do Sheep Want?
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 17 Aug 04 - 09:51 PM

Okay, I know it's a really baaad idea for a thread, but since there are "What Do Men Want?" and "What Do Women Want?" threads piling up posts, and since there's a long tradition of idiots starting stupid parody threads, and since I'm an idiot, how 'bout it?

I saw some freshly sheared sheep somewhere in Indiana or Kentucky or Tennessee yesterday and they didn't say that they wanted anything, but the looks on their faces seemed to say, "Can I have my fleece back? It's kinda cool today and I feel nekkid."

I'm sure they would have much more provocative things to say in certain locales, though I won't offend our Scottish or Australian compatriates by mentioning those places by name.

Subject: RE: BS: What Do Sheep Want?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 17 Aug 04 - 09:55 PM

The wants of sheep are few. Some grass to graze upon, a dearth of predators, clement weather, a little water, and not much else. Rams, though, want sex. A lot of it. They also want total hegemony.

Subject: RE: BS: What Do Sheep Want?
From: Peace
Date: 17 Aug 04 - 10:27 PM

Sheep want a shepherd who will remember them in the morning.

Subject: RE: BS: What Do Sheep Want?
From: Amergin
Date: 17 Aug 04 - 11:07 PM

They want the scots to finally leave them alone!

Subject: RE: BS: What Do Sheep Want?
From: Bobert
Date: 17 Aug 04 - 11:21 PM

(Don't even go there, Bobert...)

No, not *there* but "there"...

Nevermind...

Subject: RE: BS: What Do Sheep Want?
From: Sorcha
Date: 18 Aug 04 - 12:12 AM

Are these stoopid dumb ass things really worth taking up bandwidth on an already unstable site? I think not, so why not knock it of, guys? Please?

Subject: RE: BS: What Do Sheep Want?
From: HRH ted of hull
Date: 18 Aug 04 - 04:12 AM

They want equal rights, Bush out of the White house, gay marriages and their own toilets in public buildings!

Subject: RE: BS: What Do Sheep Want?
From: DMcG
Date: 18 Aug 04 - 04:20 AM

Freedom of Movement

Subject: RE: BS: What Do Sheep Want?
From: GUEST,noddy
Date: 18 Aug 04 - 05:08 AM

Sheep get a lot of bad press .It is just not fair!

Subject: RE: BS: What Do Sheep Want?
From: GUEST,noddy
Date: 18 Aug 04 - 05:10 AM

lots of shampoo and a decent stylist. We are fed up with perms!

Subject: RE: BS: What Do Sheep Want?
From: GUEST,noddy
Date: 18 Aug 04 - 05:12 AM

oh, and lots of gay sex.

Subject: RE: BS: What Do Sheep Want?
From: MBSLynne
Date: 18 Aug 04 - 05:12 AM

Ewe can't pull the wool over our eyes, we know what ewe want!

To mate with a kangaroo so that they will produce woolly jumpers?

Urrrgh! It gets worse by the minute!

Love Lynne

Subject: RE: BS: What Do Sheep Want?
From: Shanghaiceltic
Date: 18 Aug 04 - 05:26 AM

To cross breed with giraffes so they can eat stuff in trees.

Subject: RE: BS: What Do Sheep Want?
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 18 Aug 04 - 07:01 AM

I feel sheepish wasting my time in this thread...

Subject: RE: BS: What Do Sheep Want?
From: *daylia*
Date: 18 Aug 04 - 07:11 AM

Being sheepish ain't that Baaaaaaaaaad though, Foolestroupe. Being rammed is worse.

So please, jerk off yer rubber boots and listen up ....Sheep just want ewe'all to Bach Off so they can Safely Graze.

Subject: RE: BS: What Do Sheep Want?
From: GUEST,noddy
Date: 18 Aug 04 - 07:35 AM

who keeps posting using my name.

Subject: RE: BS: What Do Sheep Want?
From: *daylia*
Date: 18 Aug 04 - 07:47 AM

On second thought, they probably just want Me!

Subject: RE: BS: What Do Sheep Want?
From: Splott Man
Date: 18 Aug 04 - 07:48 AM

We have cattle grids on the M4 down our way. It's to slow the Rhondda Greys down as they hit the slip road, they no sense of right of way on roundabouts.

Subject: RE: BS: What Do Sheep Want?
From: Joybell
Date: 18 Aug 04 - 07:50 AM

Why did "The Seekers" sing, "I know I'll never find another EWE" ?? There's plenty here. Where were they looking? Joy

Subject: RE: BS: What Do Sheep Want?
From: A Wandering Minstrel
Date: 18 Aug 04 - 08:22 AM

an end to the international mint sauce trade!

Subject: RE: BS: What Do Sheep Want?
From: GUEST,sheep
Date: 18 Aug 04 - 11:21 AM

I want unilateral disarmament and world peace...............not that any bugger actually listens to me.

Subject: RE: BS: What Do Sheep Want?
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 18 Aug 04 - 12:06 PM

Guest sheep...Thank you for shearing that with us.
Best wishes.

Subject: RE: BS: What Do Sheep Want?
From: HRH ted of hull
Date: 18 Aug 04 - 12:11 PM

Mint sauce.

Subject: RE: BS: What Do Sheep Want?
From: Rasener
Date: 18 Aug 04 - 01:13 PM

Why do sheep Sh*g**rs like to do it on a cliff edge.

Answer
Because the sheep push back harder. Boom Boom

Subject: RE: BS: What Do Sheep Want?
From: Cluin
Date: 22 Jan 06 - 01:55 AM

The same thing everyone else wants.

Subject: RE: BS: What Do Sheep Want?
From: Dave Hanson
Date: 22 Jan 06 - 02:33 AM

I don't

eric

Subject: RE: BS: What Do Sheep Want?
From: Big Al Whittle
Date: 22 Jan 06 - 04:17 AM

brilliant thread, really made me laugh. however maybe Scorcha's right and we should leave these bodhran bashers in peace and have our own thread.

Subject: RE: BS: What Do Sheep Want?
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 22 Jan 06 - 04:33 AM

Shepherd's Pie, made with real shepherds?
Giok.

Il etait une bergere,
et ron ron ron petit pat a pon
Il etait une bergere,
qui gardez ses moutons ron ron
Qui gardez sez moutons

Subject: RE: BS: What Do Sheep Want?
From: gnu
Date: 22 Jan 06 - 07:22 AM

A ban on hip waders.

Subject: RE: BS: What Do Sheep Want?
From: Ron Davies
Date: 22 Jan 06 - 08:15 AM

What Do Sheep Want?

(next thread is)
Nuclear Weapons

Sure hope that's not what they want.

Subject: RE: BS: What Do Sheep Want?
From: GUEST,12Stringstan
Date: 22 Jan 06 - 08:42 AM

Sheep Demand the right to their own country, where they will be exiled to live in peace, be the soul governers of their own destiny somewhere far far away, where the weather is nice and the sex plentifull, and a big rock in the middle of their new country, where every 2ndplace is Murray's something, and where they can get liberation from the monarchy and mankind, and have kangaroo for dinner. Does such a place exist???

Subject: RE: BS: What Do Sheep Want?
From: Allan C.
Date: 22 Jan 06 - 04:00 PM

Foreplay

Subject: RE: BS: What Do Sheep Want?
From: LilyFestre
Date: 22 Jan 06 - 04:09 PM

What do sheep want?

They want to ride on motorcycle with Brucie of course!

Brucie and Friend


:) Michelle

Subject: RE: BS: What Do Sheep Want?
From: lady penelope
Date: 22 Jan 06 - 04:42 PM

World domination....... s'obvious really......

Subject: RE: BS: What Do Sheep Want?
From: Charley Noble
Date: 22 Jan 06 - 05:10 PM

Sheep of the world arise,
And pull the wool from your eyes,
No more will we stand to be fleeced,
Together we'll baa for world peace!

Charley Ignoble

Subject: RE: BS: What Do Sheep Want?
From: Bill D
Date: 22 Jan 06 - 05:33 PM

Wolves clothing...

Subject: RE: BS: What Do Sheep Want?
From: GUEST,Murray on Salt Spring
Date: 22 Jan 06 - 07:17 PM

What was that about "Murray's something"??

Subject: RE: BS: What Do Sheep Want?
From: LilyFestre
Date: 22 Jan 06 - 07:23 PM

And because I now feel that I have to justify myself for my last post on this thread, it was a joke. For those who were offended, it was a joke.

Michelle

Subject: RE: BS: What Do Sheep Want?
From: Gurney
Date: 22 Jan 06 - 11:30 PM

Maybe they want to go and live in Hull, so they can promote themselves into the nobility?

Subject: RE: BS: What Do Sheep Want?
From: Gurney
Date: 22 Jan 06 - 11:40 PM

Nobility be blowed, Ted's gone up to royalty!

Subject: RE: BS: What Do Sheep Want?
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 22 Jan 06 - 11:45 PM

Gee, it's been a year and a half since this pointless thread was started. How little things have changed.

I'm still an idiot.

The thread is still "stoopid" and "dumb ass". Sorcha is still on my shitlist for calling it "stoopid" and "dumb ass", though that's nothing new 'cause she's always calling my threads "stoopid" and "dumb ass" which pretty much guarantees her lifetime membership on said shitlist.

And I still don't know what sheep want, but I have eliminated a few things. I know sheep don't want lambchops or mutton for dinner. Similarly, a case of mint jelly is probably not on your average sheep's Christmas list. And I'm pretty sure sheep don't want spatulas, though they'd probably like them if they'd just give them a try. Just think of all the sheep who aren't employed my McDonalds because of their silly spatula phobia.

Anything else is pretty much open season. Sheep may very well want crumpets, which puts them one up on me because I don't believe I want crumpets. In fact, I'm not quite sure what crumpets are. If they're anything like funnel cakes I definitely don't want them.

And rumor has it that sheep are really fond of mangelwurzels.

Subject: RE: BS: What Do Sheep Want?
From: Gervase
Date: 23 Jan 06 - 04:53 AM

To eat.
My sheep want molasses and Marmite more than anything else.
Once the food's sorted, the ram wants to shag everything in sight, and the bucky lamb with only one nadger would dearly love to do likewise but the ram won't let him.
And that's about it. Simple but infuriating creatures, sheep.

Subject: RE: BS: What Do Sheep Want?
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 23 Jan 06 - 07:00 AM

Electric Android Dreams...

Subject: RE: BS: What Do Sheep Want?
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 23 Jan 06 - 07:04 AM

Oh Gervase.... how the memories fly back!

There is not a stupider animal in creation than a sheep. Unless it's two sheep.

Never mind dear... in a month or so there will be lambs bouncing about on springheeled legs and making pathetic attempts to get on 'Planets' funniest Animals'.

I have a picture of my great grandfather during his shepherding days (he looks about 10) and the expression on his face is a joy to behold.

LTS