BS: Health Problem?

Subject: BS: Health Problem?
From: GUEST,Mountainair
Date: 26 Mar 04 - 03:50 PM

A few days ago, like maybe a week, I was out cutting some firewood and I dropped my chain saw and sort of cut myslef on the leg. I got the bleeding stopped by tying my hanky around it and drove home. It kinda bled off and on for a few more days and today I noticed some big red strekes coming up my leg. The skin around the cut is sort of dark blue and don't smell so good, too, with green stuff oozing out. This was on the inside of my right leg, just an inch or two above my knee. I've tried iodine and other stuff. It hurts, too, and we're just about out of bandaids. Any advice would be appreciated, because I don't want a doctor cutting on me. Also, do you think this will leave a scar?

Subject: RE: BS: Health Problem?
From: Deckman
Date: 26 Mar 04 - 03:54 PM

I dunno! Maybe just swallow a chicken bone and you won't have to worry about it.

Subject: RE: BS: Health Problem?
From: Peace
Date: 26 Mar 04 - 04:03 PM

Mountainair: IMHO, you could maybe get that checked. I realize you may not want a doctor to clean the wound or stop the oozing, because that might cause you some further discomfort. You neglected to mention two things: whether or not the chain saw is still running and whether or not the leg is still attached. If you have been hopping around with your leg in your arms, I would suggest you book a hospital room with two beds. Deckman made a good suggestion: eat lots of chicken.

Subject: RE: BS: Health Problem?
From: Clinton Hammond
Date: 26 Mar 04 - 04:18 PM

Too dumb to seek medical attention... that's natural selection for ya...

Smells like a Darwin Award in here...

Subject: RE: BS: Health Problem?
From: artbrooks
Date: 26 Mar 04 - 04:19 PM

Did ya cleen up th'saw reel gud? Blood kin shure mess up a chain.

Subject: RE: BS: Health Problem?
From: DonMeixner
Date: 26 Mar 04 - 04:39 PM

It will be fine in just a few days.

Subject: RE: BS: Health Problem?
From: GUEST,GUEST: Medical Doctor
Date: 26 Mar 04 - 05:37 PM

Do you have medicare, blue cross or health insurance? If not, take two aspirins and write in a week (if you're able).

Subject: RE: BS: Health Problem?
From: GUEST,Legal Advice
Date: 26 Mar 04 - 05:38 PM

We could sue the manufacturer of the chain saw.

Subject: RE: BS: Health Problem?
From: freda underhill
Date: 26 Mar 04 - 05:58 PM

if that leg is gangrenous, you'll soon be hoppin'mad that you didn't see a doc.

Subject: RE: BS: Health Problem?
From: katlaughing
Date: 26 Mar 04 - 06:46 PM

Go buy yourself this book: Bag Balm & Duct Tape-Tales of a Vermont Country Doctor and read about why he named it that...some idjit cut his leg with a chainsaw and doctored it himself...still had to go see the real doc.

On the other hand, Clinton may be right!

Subject: RE: BS: Health Problem?
From: MarkS
Date: 26 Mar 04 - 06:51 PM

You need to seek medical attention NOW.

Unless you want to learn the hard way about blood poison, gangrene, or tetanus.

Subject: RE: BS: Health Problem?
From: Mickey191
Date: 26 Mar 04 - 07:21 PM

If you truly are serious-take Doctor Marks advice. I was watching ER last night,man had a toe full of gangrene. WITH red streaks going up his leg. This was deemed to be most serious. They have good medical writers on that show. You are worried about a scar on your inner thigh?? That's what makes me think you ar funnin' us.

Subject: RE: BS: Health Problem?
From: Peace
Date: 26 Mar 04 - 07:22 PM

Tell that to the guy with a bone in his throat. He's still wondering what to do.

Subject: RE: BS: Health Problem?
From: GUEST,Mountainair
Date: 26 Mar 04 - 07:47 PM

Gangreen, huh? That's something pretty serious, if I remember right. I guess I'd better go to the doctor, maybe on Tuesday or Wendsday I can get there. That chain saw took a pretty good chunk out of my leg and I'm some glad that my hanky was mostly clean. My wife told me to sell the saw, so if any of you would like to buy a 36 inch Stihl I'll let you have it for a good price. I just tuned it up so it runs pretty good. Is it normal to have a temperatur with a cut like this, do you know? I put some cow manure on it right away after I got the bleeding mostly stopped like my granpa taught me to.

Subject: RE: BS: Health Problem?
From: Bobert
Date: 26 Mar 04 - 07:59 PM

Son't list4en to none of these danged doctor wanta-be's... Here's what you do. You gotta a dog? No? Well borrow one, dangit... A dog will lick anything nasty and it's saliva has curin' qualities so jus' let the dog lick it. Once he satrts he'll jus lick it fir hours on end and then, well, here's where the bad news comes in... You might die, but, hey, you might not! Gotta think positive thoughts...

An' if you do live, you gotta a new friend: Ol' Yeller...

Sniff...

I can't stand these *dog-licks-man-back-to-health-n-then-the-two-of-'um-is-like-buddies-fir-life* stories...

Like I said, sniff...

Bobert

Subject: RE: BS: Health Problem?
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 26 Mar 04 - 08:45 PM

just spit on your leg, [spit is an antiseptic], quit moaning, you'll be fine in a few days.

Subject: RE: BS: Health Problem?
From: Amergin
Date: 26 Mar 04 - 08:54 PM

have some one piss on it to clean it out....drink some shine...and you'll be right.

Subject: RE: BS: Health Problem?
From: freda underhill
Date: 26 Mar 04 - 08:56 PM

friends travelling in Nepal.. spent a great week with a nepalese family, high up in the mountains. wonderful food, mountains walks, little old house in an isolated nook of a remote community.

on their last day, as they were leaving, one happened out the back & saw how the plates that they'd been eating off every nighte were cleaned

the dogs licked ém clean, and then they went straight back on the table for the next meal.

no one got sick during that whole week.

Subject: RE: BS: Health Problem?
From: GUEST,earthling
Date: 26 Mar 04 - 09:06 PM

I was at a friend's house one evening, and he had cooked dinner for a few of us, when the phone in the hall rang.

While he was answering it, his daschund ran through his chilli con carne. He had'nt even started it and we didn't have the heart to tell him.

So we pushed it back together again with a fork, to the shape it was roughly when he left the room. He didn't leave a scrap.

Subject: RE: BS: Health Problem?
From: katlaughing
Date: 26 Mar 04 - 11:39 PM

freda, that's like the old story about the new minister in town. He'd been meaning to get around to each parishioner's home to visit with them a little. The last one he went to was out on a farm, a little old lady had him to dinner. Well, they had a fine meal, a fine visit, and when it came time to clear the table, he offered to help and to also wash them up or dry. She told him, "Oh, don't worry about it. There's nothing a little soap and water can't clean." After asking once or twice more and her insisting on the efficacy of her soap and water, he let it go. They went into the sitting room/front parlour and had an after dinner cookie and tea. When it came time for him to leave, they went out on the porch where he offered her his prayers and thanks. He also offered, once more, to help with the dishes. Again, she insisted that she would take care of them with soap and water. So, in his car he goes, waves goodbye and starts to drive away. Just then, he hears her yell "Soap! Water!" As he watched, two dogs came running up and she let them in the house...:-)

Subject: RE: BS: Health Problem?
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 27 Mar 04 - 03:08 AM

A vicar of my acquaintance invited his sister and brother in law over for dinner. The main dish was steak. As he entered the kitchen, this vicar saw one of his dogs making off with a steak. Having no spare meat and so much hot meat being bad for the dog, he removed the steak from the dog, wiped the more obvious bits of slobber off, put it on the plate and served it to the brother in law (the steak, not the dog). Brother in law even complimented vicar on his culinary skills, and none were the worse afterwards.

When, a few years later, the sister and brother in law divorced (he ran off with someone else after treating his wife abominably - mental cruelty is a lot worse than physical, you can't see the scars or bruises), the vicar admitted the steak incident to the sister. She laughed long and righteously, took the vicar out to dinner and bought the dog a bone resembling a T Rex femur!

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Health Problem?
From: Ellenpoly
Date: 27 Mar 04 - 05:52 AM

My only advice is to check out the "virginity" thread, and make sure you're not one by this evening...xx..e

(Deckman, you crack me up!)

Subject: RE: BS: Health Problem?
From: AllisonA(Animaterra)
Date: 27 Mar 04 - 06:32 AM

See a doctor, Mountainair, it looks like it may be septic- not something to trifle with!

Subject: RE: BS: Health Problem?
From: jacqui.c
Date: 27 Mar 04 - 07:21 AM

Use maggots - they'll do the job everytime.

Subject: RE: BS: Health Problem?
From: andi
Date: 27 Mar 04 - 09:31 AM

Go To A DR....NOW! and this is coming from someone well schooled in holistic medicine. Please, go see a DR. Please. I would hate to see you loose that leg, or worse. Please. Please go see a Dr.

Subject: RE: BS: Health Problem?
From: Amos
Date: 27 Mar 04 - 10:50 AM

Guys, guys -- you know this is a troll, right?

A

Subject: RE: BS: Health Problem?
From: GUEST,Mountainair
Date: 27 Mar 04 - 10:54 AM

I took the advise and went to the doctor. He said it was botflies, so he put some turpentin on it and those wiggling things stopped wiggling so I guess he was right. He also gave me some asophetidal supposotries to use three times each day and bled me a bit. When I asked him about the gangreen he snapped his fingers and said "Oops!" and then caghterized it with a hot branding iron (I'm in rural Montana, near Ted Turner's spread). It hurt some and the suppositories burn some too (he put some hot chiles in them to kill the germs). Anyway, he killed off the proud flesh and I feel good enough to go to the dance and football game tonight (I'm a kicker on our local team). Oh, yeah, he told me not to eat clams for a week. And the next time I cut myself like that I'm supposed to go see him right away or at least the next day and not wait so long. Which I will do.

Thank you for your advise and next time I have a problem I'll drop in. Unless maybe you can fix a cinch?

Subject: RE: BS: Health Problem?
From: katlaughing
Date: 27 Mar 04 - 11:33 AM

Lucky the doc wasn't blind as old grandma in some book I read written by a Florida humourist...she needed to *loosen* up the old mule. Took down grampa's old bugle horn, used in the Civil War, from the shelf, as usual, positioned it in the proper hinderparts orifice of the mule, commenced to pouring what she thought was mineral oil down the pipe. The mule let out one halacious kick, and ran off down the road, bugle horn firmly in place, tooting all the way. Gramdma had accidentally grabbed the turpentine instead!

Subject: RE: BS: Health Problem?
From: Peace
Date: 27 Mar 04 - 11:48 PM

What's a cinch?

Subject: RE: BS: Health Problem?
From: Cap't Bob
Date: 28 Mar 04 - 12:23 AM

Mountainair ~ What in tar nation are you doing cutting firewood with a 36 inch chainsaw. I've been cutting wood for probably more years than you've been alive and I have always used around a 16 inch saw. You see the advantage is that when you screw up the bar isn't long nuff to cut your leg. Of course other vital parts could be jeopardy. Them 36 inch saws are for logging & not to be used for screwing around with firewood.

Cap't Bob

Subject: RE: BS: Health Problem?
From: katlaughing
Date: 28 Mar 04 - 01:01 AM

a cinch goes from one side of a saddle, under a horse's belly to be hooked to the other side of the saddle. If ya don't know what yer doing, a horse will take a deep breath and blow out their belly so that yer cinch seems tight, but once you put yer foot in the stirrup and swing a leg up, the horse lets the air out, the saddle slips and yer most likely face-down in the dirt. A wise horseperson will brace their foot up against said belly, tightening the cinch while *encouraging* said horse to let the air out and get the cinch good and tight.

My grandmother was a schoolmarm who rode a horse to school. One day a young man, hoping to impress her, offered to saddle it up for her. She allowed as that would be alright with her. She pretended not to watch, but insisted he "gentle" her horse for her some after he'd saddled it. Well, he was the greenhorn she'd suspected and shore enuf he went under the horse, along with the loose saddle! She had quite a chuckle over that for years.

At least that's the kind of cinch I know of...though there is the old expression of ease as in "it'll be a cinch!"

Subject: RE: BS: Health Problem?
From: Peace
Date: 28 Mar 04 - 01:04 AM

Thanks, Kat, I didn't know all that stuff about the saddle and the horse.

Subject: RE: BS: Health Problem?
From: wysiwyg
Date: 28 Mar 04 - 08:40 AM

I think it's another John Hardly thread, and maybe that there is a fictional character whose story is being told here episode by episode.

~Susan

Subject: RE: BS: Health Problem?
From: freda underhill
Date: 28 Mar 04 - 09:08 AM

those are great stories, Kat & Liz. Bobert has a similar, very funny one that he wrote about a christmas turkey on the tweedsblues website.

you can find it at:

http://tweedsblues.net/thefolks/bobertsxmas.html


enjoy!

freda

Subject: RE: BS: Health Problem?
From: katlaughing
Date: 28 Mar 04 - 09:33 AM

Yer welcome, brucie. I guess I coulda just said it is a strap which holds the saddle on a horse, but the tellin' is so much more fun.:-) Here's probably more than you'll ever need/want to know about Saddles & Tack with links to Cowboy Lore, etc.

Remember "The Man from Snowy River?" Well, his cinch was really, really important!**bg**

Subject: RE: BS: Health Problem?
From: Peace
Date: 28 Mar 04 - 01:40 PM

Wow. I don't know anything about horses other than they have four legs, a head at one end and tail at the other. I got to touch a Przewalski horse once at a zoo in Alberta. Took me over two hours to coax her near enough. Eventually, the smell of the apple got to her. That was a thrill. Thought she'd take a nip at me, but she accepted a few pats, took the apple and skitted back. Then we both wandered away. Thank you for the link.

Subject: RE: BS: Health Problem?
From: katlaughing
Date: 28 Mar 04 - 03:07 PM

Someone in Wyoming has a ranch full of those horses. They are really beautiful.

Little more thread drift...:-) for brucie, ya may really love cats, as I do, but ya know a horse can steal yer heart, too...All Horses Go To Heaven.

Thanks,

kat

Subject: RE: BS: Health Problem?
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Mar 04 - 03:14 PM

I was in Maine, staying in a motel outside of Eastport. There in a corral in front of the motel was a horse, with a sign reading "My name is Cheyenne, and I've just come here from Montana."

Well, I went up to Cheyenne, and he was friendly and nice and all, and I was stroking his nose, and we were getting along really well, when he bit me on the right arm just below the elbow. Locked right on and didn't let go.

I was shocked for just a second or so, and then I reached up with my left hand a grabbed his right ear. Into it I whispered, "Listen, you old sack of rotten oats, either you let go of my arm right now or I'll twist yer goddamned ear off!"

Cheyenne let go, and we understood each other after that.

I guess you can call me "The Horse Whisperer."

Subject: RE: BS: Health Problem?
From: dianavan
Date: 28 Mar 04 - 03:21 PM

run your mouse over it a few times. If that doesn't work, amputate at the waist.

d

Subject: RE: BS: Health Problem?
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 28 Mar 04 - 04:51 PM

Freda - we had lunch with that same vicar today - needless to say, I watched every bit from fridge to oven to plate and made sure the dogs were in the scullery!

Brucie - aren't they the really tiny horses? The ones that make Shetland ponies look big? I've seen common moggy cats bigger than those things!

Being that small they have every right to be nervous, but you know, once you entice a horse with food, you better have food with you every time or else he'll never come near you again!

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Health Problem?
From: Peace
Date: 28 Mar 04 - 04:54 PM

Scared me there. Thought I was back on the virginity thread!

Subject: RE: BS: Health Problem?
From: Peace
Date: 28 Mar 04 - 04:56 PM

The above post is in regard to dianavan's remarks.

The Przewalski is a 'prehistoric' horse. They are 'strange' lookin'. If I can find a site I'll get a blue thingy here soon.

Subject: RE: BS: Health Problem?
From: Peace
Date: 28 Mar 04 - 04:58 PM

www.imh.org/imh/bw/prz.html

Won't turn blue and link, but if you google przewalski, you'll go to some sites that show pictures. They are not small horses.

Subject: RE: BS: Health Problem?
From: Art Thieme
Date: 28 Mar 04 - 06:52 PM

Same thing happened to my old uncle. He finally went to a doctor and now he has a wooden leg from the knee up. Sad thing was that my aunt died of terminal slivers. When uncle died nobody knew how old he was so we cut the wooden leg in half and counted his rings. But this'll teach ya---never try to play music on a chain saw.

Art

Subject: RE: BS: Health Problem?
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Mar 04 - 08:02 PM

Stick to acoustic instruments, right? That's good advice, Art.

Subject: RE: BS: Health Problem?
From: Peace
Date: 31 Mar 04 - 01:47 PM

This Mountainaire guy maybe thought that's what musicians use when they play the saw. His elevator ain't goin' all the way up, IYKWIM.

Subject: RE: BS: Health Problem?
From: Peace
Date: 04 Apr 04 - 12:00 PM

Is Mountainaire dead, alive or undecided?

Subject: RE: BS: Health Problem?
From: jacqui.c
Date: 04 Apr 04 - 01:11 PM

Yes, I'd like to know as well.