Song Titles We'll Never See

Subject: Song Titles We'll Never See
From: katlaughing
Date: 01 Jul 02 - 12:00 PM

I'm a non-believer

Big, Bad, Bush

Bridge over muddy waters

Acid rain keeps fallin' on my head

A man's a woman for all that

Subject: RE: BS: Song Titles We'll Never See
From: mack/misophist
Date: 01 Jul 02 - 12:49 PM

Yes, you're right. And rightly so.

Subject: RE: BS: Song Titles We'll Never See
From: AliUK
Date: 01 Jul 02 - 01:06 PM


I left My Liver in San Diego
President Bush is a Ver' Fine Fella
Maggie T. we Love thee.

Subject: RE: BS: Song Titles We'll Never See
From: Irish sergeant
Date: 01 Jul 02 - 03:55 PM

The Ballad of George's Colonoscopy. What's that stain, Monica? Daisy cutters keep falling on my head,(The Afghan wedding song) More later, Irish Sergeant

Subject: RE: BS: Song Titles We'll Never See
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 01 Jul 02 - 06:46 PM

That Country & Western Classic 'You're right, I'm an arrogant lying shit'.....

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Song Titles We'll Never See
From: greg stephens
Date: 01 Jul 02 - 06:50 PM

Subject: RE: BS: Song Titles We'll Never See
From: Amos
Date: 01 Jul 02 - 06:54 PM

"I'll Give Up My Dog and My Pickup If You'll Just Say You Love Me, Daisy Mae...."

"Saw Her Face -- Now I'm an Agnostic"

"Who's Indifferent Now?"

"You're the Reason God Made the Kalahari"

"I'm Crawling the Ceiling Over You"

"Lay Off Of My Blue Suede Athletic Supporter"

"Half-Way House Rock"

"If I Were a Cesspool Technician"

"Seven Armenian Daemons"

"I Love Cleveland in the Springtime"

"Flatulent Emissions Get In Your Eyes"

"Hey, Llewellyn..."

"Love Letters in the Landfill"

"You Make Me Feel So Senescent"

Etc., etc., etc...

Subject: RE: BS: Song Titles We'll Never See
From: Bill D
Date: 01 Jul 02 - 07:01 PM

"No, Thanks, I Don't Want Another Beer"

"Little Old Condo in Quivering Elms Lane"

"The Crocheting Shanty"

Subject: RE: BS: Song Titles We'll Never See
From: Mountain Dog
Date: 01 Jul 02 - 07:02 PM

"Your Way"

Subject: RE: BS: Song Titles We'll Never See
From: Deckman
Date: 01 Jul 02 - 07:10 PM

I'll Meet You In The SPRING, If I Can Get Through The Mattress"

Subject: RE: BS: Song Titles We'll Never See
From: Mr Red
Date: 01 Jul 02 - 07:18 PM

Mares Eat Oats and Does eat Oats and Little Lambs Eat Ivy.
I Did It The Other's Way.____Trouble Over Bridgwater
Old York, Old York._______South Austria
Me and Jones's Missus.______Buttock Up Joe.
Farmers Bouy._____________God's Peed the Plough.
Puff the Magic Dragoon..____Cigareets & Whiskey & Mild, Mild Women.

Subject: RE: BS: Song Titles We'll Never See
From: Bill D
Date: 01 Jul 02 - 09:45 PM

actually, I Did It "Their Way" has already been written in the database..by Bob Blue

Subject: RE: BS: Song Titles We'll Never See
From: RangerSteve
Date: 01 Jul 02 - 09:47 PM

76 Accordions (led the big parade, with a hundred and ten ukeleles...)

The Sleet in Crete (falls mainly in the street).

Slightly Interestin' Rhythm

Lady, Be At Least Moderately Well-Behaved

When The Moon Comes Over The Condo Development

I Wanna Be A Janitor's Sweetheart

Just Stand There, Christian Soldiers

Cinder Block of Ages

Subject: RE: BS: Song Titles We'll Never See
From: katlaughing
Date: 02 Jul 02 - 01:18 AM

LOL...you guys are good!

Subject: RE: BS: Song Titles We'll Never See
From: GUEST,Sonja
Date: 02 Jul 02 - 01:27 AM

Amos, Bill D., Mr. Red., and Ranger Steve, I love these:

"I Love Cleveland in the Springtime"
"No Thanks, I Don't Want Another Beer"
"I Wanna Be A Janitor's Sweetheart "
"76 Accordions (led the big parade, with a hundred and ten ukeleles...)"
"God's Peed the Plough"
But, Mr. Red, it should be
"Nicorette & Pepsi & Mild, Mild Women"

Then there's

Golf Balls Keep Falling On My Head
Ragweed (Ragweed, every morning you greet me...)
Some Humdrum Mid-Morning (you may see a stranger)
If I Had A Socket Wrench
One Side Now
When the "Pastel Lavender" falls over sleepy garden walls...
"How Do You Solve A Problem Like Condoleeza?"
"Seventeen Ounces"
"The Aristocrat Homebody" (came over the hill, down through the valleys so shady..."

Sonja

Subject: RE: BS: Song Titles We'll Never See
From: Genie
Date: 02 Jul 02 - 01:40 AM

The Days of Beer and Corn Chips
How Can You Mend A Broken Nose?
Follow The Drinking Crowd
It's A Long Way To Simi Valley
My Isle of Alcatraz
I Left My Heart In Sacramento
Love In The Nicotine (Bony Wraith)
Muzak Cowboy, Stan

Subject: RE: BS: Song Titles We'll Never See
From: Bullfrog Jones
Date: 02 Jul 02 - 02:14 AM

Georgia Went Down To Devon....

Subject: RE: BS: Song Titles We'll Never See
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 02 Jul 02 - 02:26 AM

Drink up thee Pimms and lemonade

She streaked through the fair

All right then, I'll stay with you Spanish ladies.

As I walked one February afternoon

Around her shoulders she wore a donkey jacket (with Dublin Council stamped across it)

The Tofu Roast I bear in hand

Oh the shearing you can do my ugly lassie-o

I had a true love, I've got him still

Oh when the saints go down the pub

O for a thousand pounds to spend

Lord of the couch

What shall we do with the teetotal mariner?

LTS (it's early, I've not had me chocolate ration yet....)

Subject: RE: BS: Song Titles We'll Never See
From: greg stephens
Date: 02 Jul 02 - 06:23 AM

A Fine Sabbing Day

Subject: RE: BS: Song Titles We'll Never See
From: DMcG
Date: 02 Jul 02 - 07:44 AM

Those Child Ballads Classics:

Riddles no-one can make head or tale of
The caring Mother
The Bonnie Banks of Wall Street
The Hand-fasting of Sir Gawain
The Broomfield Quarry
The Quiet Grave

Subject: RE: BS: Song Titles We'll Never See
From: DMcG
Date: 02 Jul 02 - 07:48 AM

Not to forget Alison of the Different Metabolic Rate

Subject: Song Titles We've written
From: Mr Red
Date: 02 Jul 02 - 07:53 AM

Bill D

"The Crocheting Shanty"
alllllllllllllllmost
click on cresby's songs has "Knittershanty" AND it mentions a crochet hook (her mohair for to cable)
and while we are on the self promotion trail (just for LtS) there is a "Shropshire Lemonade" song (sans Pimm's) and I'm sure Mrs Lemon will put a Pimm's in it if you ask nicely at Warwick.

Right said Marmaduke
The Wearing of the Greek
Bike Uphill (actually I am in the wrong thread this was a Mondegreen)
Old MacDonald Had a Fight (sung by Glen Coe)
Go Down You Blood Red Pansies
the Rochester Wreck-Rooting Song (talking of Coe's)

Subject: RE: BS: Song Titles We'll Never See
From: Skipper Jack
Date: 02 Jul 02 - 04:25 PM

A few more

Opal Wednesday This Won't Be The First Time Stand Under The Banana Tree with Everybody Thick Skinned Private Grocer

If you are as clever as I think you are, you will suss these out!

Subject: RE: BS: Song Titles We'll Never See
From: Gloredhel
Date: 02 Jul 02 - 07:48 PM

"76 Accordions"? "The Tofu Roast"? I nearly fell off my chair.

Those Gershwin classics:

'SAwful
A Clear Day in London Town
I Got Plenty O' Everything
I Lack Rhythm
They Can Take That Away From Me
I'll Build a Stairway to Down Below
Aren't You Kind of Glad We Didn't

(And indebted to Ranger Steve for "Slightly Interesting Rhythm" and "Lady, Be at Least Moderately Well-Behaved")

Subject: RE: BS: Song Titles We'll Never See
From: katlaughing
Date: 02 Jul 02 - 08:00 PM

LOL..how about

Stairway to Hades

Ol' Man Sledge

Camp Granola

I wanna hold her twidgett

Night Rider's Whoop-ti-do

Streets of Rodeo (Roe-day-oh CA)

Sealed with waxed lips

Subject: RE: BS: Song Titles We'll Never See
From: Genie
Date: 02 Jul 02 - 11:08 PM

Well, I once heard John Bartlett say he's yet to find a folk song with the lyric:

"Oh, dig my grave both short and shallow...

How about a Rodgers & Hammerstein title song: "North Dakota!"

Then there's the New Orleans classic: "The Birth Of Rap."

Or the John Phillip Sousa march: "The Stars and Stripes For A While"

Or George M. Cohan's "Yankee Doodle Twit" and "You're An Adequate Flag."

Subject: RE: BS: Song Titles We'll Never See
From: katlaughing
Date: 02 Jul 02 - 11:21 PM

You ain't nothing but a skunk

Subject: RE: BS: Song Titles We'll Never See
From: DonMeixner
Date: 02 Jul 02 - 11:31 PM

American Cake,

And I like You Some

Blue Moon of Kennebunkport

Love Letters in The Salad

The Surrey with The Fridge On Top

Oh Shit! The Witch Ain't Dead

I'll Be Fleeing You

Jimmy Crack Cows

Subject: RE: BS: Song Titles We'll Never See
From: GUEST,ozmacca
Date: 03 Jul 02 - 12:13 AM

Or for those with a scottish bent..... (oh, all right then - all together - bent what?)

Cam Ye O'er Frae Belgium.

Wild Mountain Fennel

Wha Wadnae Fecht For Arthur

Bonnie Up

Skye Bus Song

Hey, Johny Manage Easily

Nancy Sherry

Albino Lochnagar

I Belong to Auchentogle

Subject: RE: BS: Song Titles We'll Never See
From: Amos
Date: 03 Jul 02 - 12:16 AM

The Rock Island Plane

The Pewter Self-Obsession

Courting in the Privy

The Parting Joint

Kisses Sweeter Than Moxie

The Coast of Middle-Class Civilization

Flora, the Snapdragon of the Rust Belt

Frankie and Brunhilda

The Springhill Bake Sale

The Routine Maintenance of the Old 97

Love, Oh Cautious and Methodical Love

The Folsom Minimart Blues

It Was Mild Interest, I Know

Yipee, Ki-Yi, Line Up Single File and No Talking, Little Dogies

Regards,

A

Subject: RE: BS: Song Titles We'll Never See
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 03 Jul 02 - 12:37 AM

Kat, you slay me!!!! Is a twidgett what I think it is??? Or should I get me coat??

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Song Titles We'll Never See
From: JamesJim
Date: 03 Jul 02 - 12:43 AM

"That Silver Haired Uncle of Mine" "If you ain't got the Fa-So-La" "Life's Railway to Hell" "Contented Man Blues" "Hang Down your Head Bill Clinton" "(You know that's)The Fourth Thing on My Mind"

JJim

Subject: RE: BS: Song Titles We'll Never See
From: katlaughing
Date: 03 Jul 02 - 12:57 AM

You heard it here, first, LtS, from 1999 on a thread about a Salty Dog:

WW, my friend and her boyfriend made up a term they could use in public with none the wiser. One day she finally told me what the heck she was talking about when referring to her "twidgett"! Couldn't ya just see the personal ads:

Salty Dog heat-seeks twidgett for his moisture missile! (Thanks for those Jeri!) Or...

Have I got a ding-a-ling for your twidgett! Dial 1-999-Salty Dog. Or...

Fun-loving Twidgett seeks briney canine.

Which leads me to....the next song title:

Mrs. Dash Dog (in the US, Mrs. Dash is an herbal salt substitute)

When the frogs came

Resolution

Mrs. Brown you've got an ugly hound dog

Scarlett Latex Orb

Hardback Penman

Old Geezers at Home

Subject: RE: BS: Song Titles We'll Never See
From: katlaughing
Date: 03 Jul 02 - 02:39 AM

Rosin the Dough

Heel and Toe Boys

Mean She Lay (a mondregreen, sort of)

Barber Allen

Berber Allen

Off over that multi-coloured arch in the sky

Oral Lee

Loving banjos

It's a long way to Tupperware parties

When it's raging torrents of melting snow runoffs in the shaky mountains

Subject: RE: BS: Song Titles We'll Never See
From: Bert
Date: 03 Jul 02 - 02:54 AM

...I wanna hold her twidgett... That sounds kinda related to "and will let me lift me hand in her cuckoo's nest"

Subject: RE: BS: Song Titles We'll Never See
From: katlaughing
Date: 03 Jul 02 - 03:00 AM

Oooo, Bert! Does sound related, doesn't it? GOOD to see you!!!

How about this, for one of yours, one of my favs: Non-organic blooming pods?

luvyakat!

Subject: RE: BS: Song Titles We'll Never See
From: Bert
Date: 03 Jul 02 - 03:31 AM

Hi katmeluv,

I'm back in PA for a short while and my ISP had lapsed while I was gone so it took me a week or so to get back on line.

Bert (Size DOES matter ;-)

Subject: RE: BS: Song Titles We'll Never See
From: Escamillo
Date: 03 Jul 02 - 04:08 AM

"We don't need another loan"

"Babe, give me back my savings"

"IMF, stay away from my door"

"A dollar, that's all I ask of you"

"Go down, Duhalde"

"Didn't your bank deliver some bucks ?"

"Sometimes I feel like a jerk"

(Today mi inspiration seems to be a little monotonous)

Un abrazo - Andrés

Subject: RE: BS: Song Titles We'll Never See
From: Skipper Jack
Date: 03 Jul 02 - 06:39 AM

Red "Bargains" in the evening!

There's a Second Hand Shop on the S Bend in Pittsburg Pennsylvania!

Subject: RE: BS: Song Titles We'll Never See
From: CarolC
Date: 03 Jul 02 - 07:31 AM

Hello Dali &
Smiley Face, You Got The Cutest Little Smiley Face

Subject: RE: BS: Song Titles We'll Never See
From: GUEST,tradman
Date: 03 Jul 02 - 07:40 AM

Not songs, but HUNDREDS of titles for non-existent tunes at Pay The Reckoning

Click here

Subject: RE: BS: Song Titles We'll Never See
From: GUEST,tradman
Date: 03 Jul 02 - 07:41 AM

AAARGH

Here's the correct link!

Click here

Subject: RE: BS: Song Titles We'll Never See
From: Micca
Date: 03 Jul 02 - 08:57 AM

" OH, non-gender specific deity, our help in ages past"!!

" The slurry with the gunge on top"
" Rule Britania, Britania Waives the rules"
" San Francisco bay Pinks"

Subject: RE: BS: Song Titles We'll Never See
From: Jack the Sailor
Date: 03 Jul 02 - 10:03 AM

No one's done the Beatles. Well maybe 1 or 2, but here's more
The Day Before Yesterday
I Wanna Hold Your Ham
Five Days a Week and no More than 37.5 Hours (Federal employees version)
Octopus is Grabbing
Let it Bleed (oops been done)
Hey Jar Jar
Norwegian Woody
Imaginary
Baby I'm a Maze
You're 16 (I'm 30 and in Jail)
The End of the Lime
OH! Bra "D"
Back in the CIS
Back in Russia
Oh, I can't keep track
Putin on the Ritz
Band on the Rum
Yoko, You Sing Like an Angel (by Paul)
A Gay in the Life
Brian Epstein, you Have a Lovely Bottom
I Saw Him Standing There
We Wanna be Butch Like the Stones
Abby Rode
The Beige Album
Her Satanic Majesty's Request (oops again)
Linda, You Sing Like and Angel (by John)
Here Comes the Sum
While my Banjo Bawls like a Baby
Layla! Thats my Fecking WIFE you're Singing to!(George)
I gonna make a bunch of bad movies (Ringo)
Breakin' up ain't all that Hard to Do

And the number one song you won't hear buy the Beatles.

"A Post Humus Song By George"

Subject: RE: BS: Song Titles We'll Never See
From: Micca
Date: 03 Jul 02 - 10:34 AM

The Boxers

" I'm just some underwear
my story's seldom told
I would improve my persistence
With a fresh piece of elastic
All lies and jests
Still a thong is what he wants to wear
And just discard the vest "

(NB a vest is an item of underwear in the UK, a bit like a T shirt but with thin straps overt the shoulders)

Subject: RE: BS: Song Titles We'll Never See
From: AliUK
Date: 03 Jul 02 - 11:39 AM


Brown-arsed Girl ( a Van Morrison Classic in the alternate dimension that I come from.)
Take me Home Superhighway ( that country classic)
"Jump a bit higher, on the fire, fill my Bumhole."(I can see them singing that down in cajun country)

Subject: RE: BS: Song Titles We'll Never See
From: Phillip
Date: 03 Jul 02 - 02:17 PM

Ewan MacColl did some good ones:

The First Time Ever I Slapped Your Face

and after a drunking session he did a whole Radio Ballad called The Big Hughie

For Enron and World Com he wrote The Ballad of Non-Accounting.

For US Presidents there was Go Down You Interns, Go Down

and along those lines in an unpublished (Boo hoo) novel I wrote I had a rather disreputable character sing Luck be a lady tonight, Luck be a lady tonight, Luck if you ever were a lady to begin with be one I can sin with tonight

Hamish Henderson was touched with that universal male wish when he wrote his great son Willie Mor.

Subject: RE: BS: Song Titles We'll Never See
From: Mr Red
Date: 03 Jul 02 - 02:31 PM

Skipper Jack
wasn't there a a minor hit in Russia amonst the yatch fraternity "Red Sons in the Sail Set"

Subject: RE: BS: Song Titles We'll Never See
From: Skipper Jack
Date: 03 Jul 02 - 02:37 PM

Mr Red

You may well be right, sir!

Then there's the Music Hall Song.

There's an Old Stream by the Mill, Jelly Bean.

Subject: RE: BS: Song Titles We'll Never See
From: Phillip
Date: 03 Jul 02 - 02:39 PM

The NRA in the Bible Belt did Gun of a Preacher Man