BS: Any anti-Pom jokes?

Subject: BS: Any anti-Pom jokes?
From: Big Al Whittle
Date: 26 Nov 08 - 08:23 AM

Click for the 'PermaThread™: List of all joke threads'

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I was just doing the vacuuming when I suddenly got struck by very very old joke. And I'm still chortling.

Question:
How do you get forty Poms in a telephone box?
Answer:
Make one a foreman and the rest'll crawl up his arse.

You Aussies must have a few more. Go on, I'm in the mood!

Subject: RE: BS: Any anti-Pom jokes?
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 26 Nov 08 - 08:42 AM

You need to get out more Al.

John 'XG'

Subject: RE: BS: Any anti-Pom jokes?
From: Bill D
Date: 26 Nov 08 - 09:40 AM

You must be careful what font you use to type 'anti-pom'...

anti-pom
anti-porn

Subject: RE: BS: Any anti-Pom jokes?
From: Dave Hanson
Date: 26 Nov 08 - 09:57 AM

A journalist on meeting Noel Coward asked him to say something amusing, Coward answered in his impeccable accent, ' Australia '

eric

Subject: RE: BS: Any anti-Pom jokes?
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 26 Nov 08 - 09:58 AM

Yes Bill bit like CLINT EASTWOOD eh??

Subject: RE: BS: Any anti-Pom jokes?
From: Bill D
Date: 26 Nov 08 - 09:59 AM

....oh, my...

Subject: RE: BS: Any anti-Pom jokes?
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 26 Nov 08 - 10:19 AM

What about the 2 Aussies who came to a small town in the outback and saw a sign saying "Taxidermist" on a shop.

"What's that Bruce?"

"Dunno Bruce, I'll go and have a shuftie"

"Oh that's all right Bruce, he's one of us".

Subject: RE: BS: Any anti-Pom jokes?
From: Wesley S
Date: 26 Nov 08 - 11:24 AM

OK - Whats a POM ?

Subject: RE: BS: Any anti-Pom jokes?
From: Stu
Date: 26 Nov 08 - 11:26 AM

It's an Aussie nickname for people from the UK.

Subject: RE: BS: Any anti-Pom jokes?
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 26 Nov 08 - 12:14 PM

Who knows the Aussie Christmas song? Can't think who did it but the chorus goes

Christmas in Austalia, is Christmas in Paradise
Christmas in Australia is, basicaly, bloody nice!
Bruce is going steady with Sheila; Sheila's going steady with Bruce
If you ain't got a Christmas suntan, you're a Pommie and you're no bloody use.

Always tickles me. Not as much as Bogles 'I hate Wogs' but funny all the same.

Cheers

DeG

Subject: RE: BS: Any anti-Pom jokes?
From: Dead Horse
Date: 26 Nov 08 - 12:14 PM

Short for "Potatoes. Mashed."
Army rations that will act as cement, ballast, radiator leek fixer, ammunition, winter camouflage etc.

Subject: RE: BS: Any anti-Pom jokes?
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 26 Nov 08 - 12:54 PM

Wikipedia (click here) says the derivation of "pom" is uncertain, but most likely comes from the red "pom-poms" that were once a feature of British sailor caps. Another possibility is that it comes from pale Brits' tendency to sunburn and turn "red as pomegranates".

Subject: RE: BS: Any anti-Pom jokes?
From: gnomad
Date: 26 Nov 08 - 01:14 PM

Christmas in Australia by Chris Harvey was a hit for Roaring Jelly, apparently Noel Edmonds hated it, so it had to be a good thing. It has been revamped by the Omega 3 as well.

How do you tell which plane is full of Poms?

Switch off the engines; it's the one that goes on whining.

Subject: RE: BS: Any anti-Pom jokes?
From: goatfell
Date: 26 Nov 08 - 01:15 PM

a POM is SOMEONE FORM ENGLAND, BECAUSE DO NOT CALL THE SCOTS, WELSH OR IRISH POMS, OR WE'LL CALL YOU LOT KIWIS.

Subject: RE: BS: Any anti-Pom jokes?
From: goatfell
Date: 26 Nov 08 - 01:18 PM

an anti Austrlian joke,

what is the differance between a Austrlian wedding and a austrlain furneal?

Ans

Once less drunk.

devination of an Aussie,

very low IQ that's why they all wear thongs (flip flops)

and take a look at the Prime MInster.

an anti pom joke

how do you keep your money safe when you're in a poms house?
hid it under the soap

Subject: RE: BS: Any anti-Pom jokes?
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 26 Nov 08 - 01:39 PM

Aussie immigration official to incoming pom:

"Have you got a criminal record?"

"Why? Do we still need one to come here?"

Subject: RE: BS: Any anti-Pom jokes?
From: Ernest
Date: 26 Nov 08 - 01:45 PM

An Aussie family is visiting the Zoological Gardens when the toddler son sees one of the lions licking the rear part of another lion.

"Daddy Daddy why is the lion licking the other lions arse?"

"Well, Son: he has just eaten a pommie and now he tries to get rid of the taste..."

Subject: RE: BS: Any anti-Pom jokes?
From: goatfell
Date: 26 Nov 08 - 02:27 PM

when I heard that joke about the lion it had eating a Aussie

Subject: RE: BS: Any anti-Pom jokes?
From: Ernest
Date: 26 Nov 08 - 04:03 PM

most of these jokes are anti-insertwhatyou(don`t)like....

Subject: RE: BS: Any anti-Pom jokes?
From: Cluin
Date: 26 Nov 08 - 04:22 PM

Pretty much. Other than the geographically specific ones, I've heard most of them at the expense of several other nationalities.

One I like: The English tell jokes about the Irish; the Irish makes jokes about the Kerrymen; the Kerrymen write the jokes down and sell them back to the English.

Subject: RE: BS: Any anti-Pom jokes?
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 26 Nov 08 - 05:48 PM

POHM was a Prisoner Of His Majesty and was printed on the smocks the prisoners who were deported or transported from the UK in those dark days that are still sung about by the odd traditional Folkie. Van Diemens Land and all that. Perhaps we should actually be calling the Aussies POHMs because we aren't!! Some of them are descended from those prisoners... mmmmmmmmmmmmm

Subject: RE: BS: Any anti-Pom jokes?
From: Big Al Whittle
Date: 26 Nov 08 - 06:39 PM

'most of these jokes are anti-insertwhatyou(don`t)like....'

well I disagree.

The telephone box one

By and large we ARE a nation of servile lickspittles. look at all the bottom kissing that goes on when an 'important folkie' drops into the mudcat.
Look at the fact we consent to be governed by graduates of Oxford and cambridge Universities (no matter how stupid) - both political parties have cottoned onto that.

the 'under the soap' joke

Fair number of mingers in any collection of Brits. You know what they say 'poms don't tub'. It goes back to when we had poorly heated houses and it was very cold - too cold to bath really. Before and during the war there so much BO about, that cinema audiences had to be sprayed with perfume.

the Noel coward joke

when I first heard it, the journalists said - say something Australian Noel, and Noel enuniciated KenGahroo!

Yeh! posh people do talk funny - particularly our theatricals.

the Pom jokes are quite a good dig at our national character.

Subject: RE: BS: Any anti-Pom jokes?
From: Ebbie
Date: 26 Nov 08 - 06:40 PM

Hmmmmmm. You know, if these were Americans telling these kinds of jokes about other Americans it would sound very mean spirited indeed. The auld countr(ies)y are/is obviously different.

The closest we come to this, I think, is the redneck joke. I don't like those either.

Subject: RE: BS: Any anti-Pom jokes?
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 26 Nov 08 - 07:04 PM

I'm pretty sure there won't be any shortage of jokes by Americans from one part of the USA making fun at the expense of Americans from other parts. Or who are different from the joker in any respect. That's how jokes go in just about any part of the world.
.......................

The lion joke works the same way whatever the lion's last meal happened to be - a Morris Dancer, a Sun reader, a banker, Arsenal fan... Only thing is, sometimes it's just fun, but with some targets the fun is outweighed by genuine hate. Jokes about Aussies in England don't carry that kind of burden.

Subject: RE: BS: Any anti-Pom jokes?
From: Alice
Date: 26 Nov 08 - 07:46 PM

This reminds me of a conversation I had with locals when I was living in El Salvador. I was interested in knowing what kind of jokes they tell, what was funny there. They told me most of the jokes were about making fun of the presidents of the Central American countries. What did the president of such and such country say to the president of the other country.

Subject: RE: BS: Any anti-Pom jokes?
From: Cluin
Date: 26 Nov 08 - 08:00 PM

How many ________________ does it take to change a lightbulb?


Into what?

Subject: RE: BS: Any anti-Pom jokes?
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Nov 08 - 10:13 PM

Pom? That's a brand of pomegranate juice here in the US.

Subject: RE: BS: Any anti-Pom jokes?
From: Art Thieme
Date: 26 Nov 08 - 11:35 PM

Once again:

I am a 'Noel Coward.'

I've a huge 'fear of Christmas!'

Art ;-)

Subject: RE: BS: Any anti-Pom jokes?
From: Gurney
Date: 27 Nov 08 - 02:56 AM

Why are Poms like bananas? They come over in shiploads, they're all bent, they're green, but they turn yellow!

How do you confuse an Irishman? Give him three shovels and tell him to take his pick!

What do you call a Kiwi wearing a suit?   The defendant!

Why is a threepenny bit that shape? So that you can get a spanner on it to get it out of a Scotsman's hand!

"Say, where do youse guys come from?"   
"Saskatchewan"
"Oh, Royt."
"Where'd they come from, Blue?"
"Down't know, they don't speak English."

There you are, WLD, now you can mix-n-match and insult everyone.

Subject: RE: BS: Any anti-Pom jokes?
From: Dave Hanson
Date: 27 Nov 08 - 02:57 AM

Aussie joke,

sunburnt adonis on Bondi Beach, " hey sheila, fancy a fuck ? well I didn't       but I do now ya smooth talking bastard. "

eric

Subject: RE: BS: Any anti-Pom jokes?
From: Cluin
Date: 27 Nov 08 - 03:59 AM

What'd the Englishman say when he came home and found three men in bed with his wife?

"Hello, hello, hello."

Subject: RE: BS: Any anti-Pom jokes?
From: Paul Burke
Date: 27 Nov 08 - 05:02 AM

One version is pom <- pomegranate <- pomegran't <- immigrant. Back in the 20s, which I'm told is first mention of the term, immigrants were nearly all from the UK.

They had historical good reason to be resentful of the British state. Up above, I've been posting odd snippets from old newspapers I found on- line. Steal a lamb? 15 years transportation, a large family left destitute (they probably were before). 12 y-o girl and 8-y-o boy, 15 years each for setting fire to a haystack. The one thing I haven't seen transportation for (yet) is poaching.

Subject: RE: BS: Any anti-Pom jokes?
From: Folk Form # 1
Date: 27 Nov 08 - 05:27 AM

The moral of this thread is....You should never make fun at the expense of someone else, especially if they are English or Scottish.(I add that as I am english-scots.)

Subject: RE: BS: Any anti-Pom jokes?
From: GUEST,Comrac
Date: 27 Nov 08 - 06:34 AM

Two Englishmen made it to a desert island after their plane went down. They lived there for six years before being rescued. Asked why they never spoke to eachother, one answered "No one introduced us".

Subject: RE: BS: Any anti-Pom jokes?
From: Dave Hanson
Date: 27 Nov 08 - 06:36 AM

Comrac, this isn't a joke, it's true, it was ced2 and me.

eric

Subject: RE: BS: Any anti-Pom jokes?
From: goatfell
Date: 27 Nov 08 - 08:30 AM

someone who needs a life, and can't take jokes is Ebbie, but this people that belive in ppolitcal correctness, but thease people are the most racists, sexists and other words that end ist are.

So as I say get a life, I know about the post about what I wrote about the Poms, but I take that as a joke, if you take life to serious, then as I say GET A LIFE

Subject: RE: BS: Any anti-Pom jokes?
From: Big Al Whittle
Date: 27 Nov 08 - 08:53 AM

Goatfell - try and be serious! now do you know any jokes, or don't you?

Subject: RE: BS: Any anti-Pom jokes?
From: Terry McDonald
Date: 27 Nov 08 - 08:57 AM

Where on earth does Goatfell get the idea that the term 'Pom' refers only to the English? Wikipedia is often less than accurate but its piece on the word's origins and meaning looks pretty reasonable to me.

Subject: RE: BS: Any anti-Pom jokes?
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 27 Nov 08 - 08:58 AM

You need to get out more Al

Subject: RE: BS: Any anti-Pom jokes?
From: Folk Form # 1
Date: 27 Nov 08 - 09:19 AM

What do you call someone from New Zealand?
A civilized Australian.

Subject: RE: BS: Any anti-Pom jokes?
From: goatfell
Date: 27 Nov 08 - 09:34 AM

poms means P= Prisoners of M= Mother E= England

Subject: RE: BS: Any anti-Pom jokes?
From: goatfell
Date: 27 Nov 08 - 09:37 AM

well that is what I was told

Subject: RE: BS: Any anti-Pom jokes?
From: goatfell
Date: 27 Nov 08 - 09:38 AM

oh one final thing, I'm Scottish first British second

Subject: RE: BS: Any anti-Pom jokes?
From: goatfell
Date: 27 Nov 08 - 09:41 AM

Well whenever I'm Australia, I'm always asked about things in ENGLAND, and I tell them I don't know because I come from Scotland, then I say to them how is life in NEW ZEALAND, they don't like that and I say well that is the same with anyone form Scotland, Ireland or Wales or Cornwall. Isle of Man or the Channel Islands.

as we say to people for England and the come up to Scotland

WELCOME TO BRITAIN

Subject: RE: BS: Any anti-Pom jokes?
From: Moses
Date: 27 Nov 08 - 10:34 AM

Q:- Why are there kangaroos in Australia and Englishmen in England?

A:- Cos the Aussies got first choice.

Subject: RE: BS: Any anti-Pom jokes?
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 27 Nov 08 - 11:56 AM

I am very against stereotyping of any description, even in comedy, but some is either so harmless or so ludicrous that it cannot be taken seriously.

An Aussie a Scotsman and and Englishman sunbathing by the pool are informed by a genie that he has just created a magic slide. Whatever they shout as the go down the slide, the pool will be turned into,

The Aussie goes first with a loud cry of "Fosters!"

Behind him is the Scotsman shouting "Whisky!"

The English cannot make his mind but on his way down the slide gets all excited.

"Wheeeeee...."

DeG

Subject: RE: BS: Any anti-Pom jokes?
From: Dead Horse
Date: 27 Nov 08 - 12:25 PM

I detest racist, sexist, blonde, or any non pc jokes.
So,
What does a blonde Aussie Sheila put behind her ears to attract men?




Her knees.

Subject: RE: BS: Any anti-Pom jokes?
From: GUEST,goatfell
Date: 27 Nov 08 - 12:55 PM

I like people that is stright to the point, were as people who are PC you can't really trust them

Subject: RE: BS: Any anti-Pom jokes?
From: bubblyrat
Date: 27 Nov 08 - 02:02 PM

I have always subscribed to the theory that "Pom" came from the issue of pomegranate juice to British sailors,as an anti-scurvy measure, when Lime Juice ( whence "Limey" ) was not readily available.I recently read a very good book "The Floating Brothel",which is a true story about convicts,both male and female,being taken to Australian Penal Colonies,and there is no mention of convict uniforms,and certainly no suggestion of any identifying letters on coats saying "Prisoner of Mother England".There was no need,because anyone found on their own more than a mile from the colony was OBVIOUSLY a prisoner,as nobody else was stupid enough to stray that far !!( In those days ,it was a VERY hostile environment,and the Aborigines killed people !).

Subject: RE: BS: Any anti-Pom jokes?
From: GUEST,goatfell
Date: 27 Nov 08 - 03:01 PM

From British Naval records the term "Pommie" came about from the red "pom pom" on the top of the hats of British sailors who were involved in the transfer of prisoners to the Colonies. It was used as a derogatory term, but has since become a generalised term for British people. The term pommy or pom is commonly used by speakers of Australian English, New Zealand English, South African English and Afrikaans. It is often shortened to pom. The origin of this term is not confirmed and there are several persistent false etymologies, most being backronyms, an example of which would be P.O.M.E, Prisoner Of Mother England. The Oxford English Dictionary (OED) strongly supports the theory that pommy originated as a contraction of "pomegranate".[2] The OED also suggests that the reason for this is that pomegranate is extinct Australian rhyming slang for immigrant; it cites an article from 14 November 1912, in a once-prominent Australian weekly magazine The Bulletin: "The other day a Pummy Grant (assisted immigrant) was handed a bridle and told to catch a horse." A popular alternative explanation for the theory that pommy is a contraction of "pomegranate", relates to the purported frequency of sunburn among British people in Australia, turning their fair skin the colour of pomegranates.[3] However, there is no hard evidence for the theory regarding sunburn.

A false etymology (or "backronym") common in both Australia and New Zealand is that pom originated as an acronym for "prisoner of (his/her) majesty" or "prisoner of mother England". Although many of the first British settlers in Australia were convicts sentenced to transportation to Australia, there is no evidence for this. Some proponents of this theory claim that upon arrival in the country they would be given a uniform with "POHM" or "POME" emblazoned on the back, which apparently stood for Prisoners Of Her Majesty but there are no images or examples of these uniforms.In addition, it is used to mean 'Product of Mother England'.

this is from the wikapea