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BS: Tavern Rites of Spring
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Subject: RE: BS: Tavern Rites of Spring From: SINSULL Date: 21 Mar 01 - 04:21 PM I wouldn't bring that up right now, Matt. Not with Zeus running around with a potato masher. You might lose more than your virginity. Besides, Big Mick is in charge of fertility rites - and he is pre-occupied at the moment. Just got a thunderbolt in the spud (if you know what I mean). |
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Subject: RE: BS: Tavern Rites of Spring From: Allan C. Date: 21 Mar 01 - 04:22 PM Gee, that'd be sure to make him Thor! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Tavern Rites of Spring From: Amos Date: 21 Mar 01 - 04:28 PM I think we can find some Loki anaesthetic here, just he doesn't get a swollen head.... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Tavern Rites of Spring From: SINSULL Date: 21 Mar 01 - 04:31 PM Says the Greek with the torn toga to the local tailor: "Eumenides?" |
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Subject: RE: BS: Tavern Rites of Spring From: Matt_R Date: 21 Mar 01 - 04:31 PM Yeah, like ol' Hrungnir! He got a boulder to the noggin! BAM!!! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Tavern Rites of Spring From: Hollowfox Date: 21 Mar 01 - 06:33 PM Sinsull, I wasn't gonna chomp on the satyrs! Can I nibble, though? What ARE you hungry for, anyway? Let me know and I'll whip it up. Whaddaya wanna sin? you start the shanty of your choice, I'll join in, and between the two of us, we'll know plenty of verses. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Tavern Rites of Spring From: Micca Date: 21 Mar 01 - 07:36 PM Why is the wood spirit chasing the satyrs??? Oh....Its Satyr day night and I aint got no body?? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Tavern Rites of Spring From: hesperis Date: 21 Mar 01 - 07:48 PM Whaddya wanna *hic* SIN? Ha Ha Ha *hic* Anybpody wanna join me *hic* in drinking these amphorae? Nothing *hic* else, ok*hic*ay? Hey, DrinKing! Let's crown a Drink King! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Tavern Rites of Spring From: alison Date: 21 Mar 01 - 08:17 PM Matt didn't they tell you... you aren't going to lose it.......... they just sacrifice you....... otherwise you wouldn't be a "virgin" sacrifice anymore....... mean isn't it....... here drink some ambrosia.... you'll feel better............
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Subject: RE: BS: Tavern Rites of Spring From: Lonesome EJ Date: 21 Mar 01 - 11:43 PM Well, Matt. Pressure's on. If you're still a virgin at High Noon, we'll have to drown you in the Giant Amphora of Diana, which really ain't that bad by the way. I went through it back when I was a virgin, and once more when I achieved born-again virgin status in my mid-twenties. But with all these nymphs nipping about bedecked with diaphonous veils and so forth, I'd say you've got a damn good shot at avoiding the dreaded submersion. Follow Mick around and do what he does, but watch out for that female-gorilla stalker that's after him. Now, it has been brought to my attention that we are running a bit low on wine, but as we have this large vat and a plentiful supply of grapes...everybody off with your sandals and into the vat! Everybody but Catspaw, that is...I don't wanna see the kind of feet he's got inside those Converse high-tops. Anyone know the Tarantella? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Tavern Rites of Spring From: alison Date: 22 Mar 01 - 12:00 AM WEEEEEEEEEEEEHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE Splllllllllllllaaaaaaaaaaaaaassssssssssssshhhhhhhhhh.... I love jello-wrestling, but this grape squishing is good fun too..... lets all link arms and dance Zorba the Greek .................. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Tavern Rites of Spring From: hesperis Date: 22 Mar 01 - 12:24 AM I am sober now. Just in time for more fun! *squish!* go the grapes... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Tavern Rites of Spring From: Matt_R Date: 22 Mar 01 - 12:39 AM Joy! Splat. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Tavern Rites of Spring From: GUEST,micca at work Date: 22 Mar 01 - 07:32 AM Could a one legged grape treader from Bordeaux be said to have one foot in the Graves???? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Tavern Rites of Spring From: alison Date: 22 Mar 01 - 09:31 AM *groan*................ lol Hey LEJ... is the rumour true?.... you know the one about there not being any water to rinse this off.. so we have to lick each other clean?????? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Tavern Rites of Spring From: SINSULL Date: 22 Mar 01 - 09:38 AM MMMM Toe sucking! There may be hope for this party after all. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Tavern Rites of Spring From: alison Date: 22 Mar 01 - 09:46 AM how did you only get your toes covered? ...... most of the rest of us fell over when we tried to do the lambada.... we're completely plastered in the stuff........ |
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Subject: RE: BS: Tavern Rites of Spring From: SINSULL Date: 22 Mar 01 - 09:55 AM I just sat on the edge and splashed. I already lost one toga to grease, red wine, and... well, no need to go into details. Someone want to rummage around in that mess and see if you can find Bacchus. I haven't seen him in a while and we don't want him to drown. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Tavern Rites of Spring From: GUEST Date: 22 Mar 01 - 11:18 AM Bad poetry??? Hey Sinsull, I spent a lot of time on that! Write your own odes to Bacchus, you complaining, ungrateful little satyrical wine-swilling furry-groined cloven-hooved deflowerer of nymphs, you!!! (Peg, aka Crocus Thighs, stomps off in a tree-spritely huff and takes all her aphrodisiac damiana wine with her...) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Tavern Rites of Spring From: SINSULL Date: 22 Mar 01 - 11:39 AM Peg - How the hell much have you had to drink? I am female and heterosexual. And watch the furry-groin cracks! I am freshly waxed for the festivities! There once was a tree sprite named Peg Who drank lilac wine from a keg She sucked it and swilled it Then three times refilled it Out-guzzling Spaw, Cletus, and Reg. You want bad poetry? I'll give you bad poetry! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Tavern Rites of Spring From: GUEST,Crocus Thighs Date: 22 Mar 01 - 11:59 AM Oh my, Sinsull! I do apologize. I think all that centaur chatter brainwashed me...my small brain, mind you...heh heh. Spring fever and all. Very bad poetry, I must say. Though technically speaking, it is a limerick...well done. ("Perhaps you are forgiven your earlier trespass," she said, wiping off the rim of the wineskin with her sap-sticky skirt...) Nothing to drink YET; arrived in bumpy weather to sunny Clearwater, Florida. Very nauseous and dizzy and head-poundingly sick last night (good thing I DIDN'T drink on the plane!) Much better today. Off to a small pagan gathering at a nudist camp in nearby Land o' Lakes tomorrow and Saturday! Do I get points for REAL merrymaking with nymphs, sprites, satyrs and bacchae??? Will report back soon...eat your hearts out, but in a good way, and I shall do my best to make myself worthy of your festivities... Peg, aka Crocus Thighs
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Subject: RE: BS: Tavern Rites of Spring From: Ella who is Sooze Date: 23 Mar 01 - 05:19 AM Ella the Spritely, Joins in the grape squishing and treads on Bacchus. Chucks a messy handful of mush at Alison, prods Matt and throws grape goo at Sinsulls new toga. :) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Tavern Rites of Spring From: GUEST,Matt_R Date: 23 Mar 01 - 08:25 AM Toe-sucking! YE-YES! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Tavern Rites of Spring From: SINSULL Date: 23 Mar 01 - 08:31 AM Typical! Now it's deteriorating into a food fight. There you go Ella - you look elegant in ambrosia. HEE HEE her mascara is running. Uh Matt? This is an orgy. You're supposed to be sucking on someone else's toes! How do you do that anyway? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Tavern Rites of Spring From: alison Date: 23 Mar 01 - 08:37 AM Right Ella.... you started it..... don't you realise that I (and Harpy)are undefeated jello wrestling champs........ a VERY slimy Fair One does a graceful leap across the tub.... rugby tackles Emma..... and both disappear into the goo
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Subject: RE: BS: Tavern Rites of Spring From: GUEST,micca at work. Date: 23 Mar 01 - 08:41 AM A short ,fat, gnomelike figure wearing a kilt with a fitted hip flask (with "Biohazard" labels on the outside of the flask) is seen wandering around measuring up and muttering," site for the "Sargeant Howie Memorial barbecue"and "how much Whicker will I need?" and " Is "Summer is icumen in" in the DT" " Bloody Greeks, Neo-pagans,get in everywhere, and what about the Eleusinian Mysteries, no one wants to give them ago... and this Plonk Nouveau isnt bad...can I have another amphora please..." |
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Subject: RE: BS: Tavern Rites of Spring From: GUEST,Matt_R Date: 23 Mar 01 - 08:45 AM Not my own! Geez Sins, let's not get gross here!!! Hey Micca, shouldn't you have the kilt off and waving it around?? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Tavern Rites of Spring From: Ella who is Sooze Date: 23 Mar 01 - 09:00 AM grabs micca another amphora, sinks it into the wine slush, picks out a few bits of non descript, undescribables and hands him a few more drops.... Would prefer it if Micca left his kilt on... hem hem... afterall, what's the old saying.... better to leave some things to the imagination? *grin* Hey.. Micca... what's in the flask, and can I have some... will it make me glow in the dark? E |
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Subject: RE: BS: Tavern Rites of Spring From: Big Mick Date: 23 Mar 01 - 09:42 AM The biggest Mick you have ever seen sheds his breeches and does a double back flip into the tub.......... It is my understanding from THE FAIR ONE that there is grape juice to be licked here, as the Keeper of the Sacred Fertility Rites, and given where this type of activity may lead, I must insist on initiating all such activities............with the females that is..........You, the hairy one, you are outa here..........MattR, I am sorry but this could lead to the loss of virginity and we need you for finale........Right lad, |
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Subject: RE: BS: Tavern Rites of Spring From: alison Date: 23 Mar 01 - 09:47 AM oh goody goody.... we're off to the grove..... again!!! I like nights like these.... lol.............
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Subject: RE: BS: Tavern Rites of Spring From: GUEST,Matt_R Date: 23 Mar 01 - 09:52 AM I will ONLY eat ambrosia if it consists of marshmallows, pineapple chunks, mandarin oranges, and sour cream! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Tavern Rites of Spring From: MMario Date: 23 Mar 01 - 10:01 AM *gack!*
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Subject: RE: BS: Tavern Rites of Spring From: Ella who is Sooze Date: 23 Mar 01 - 10:05 AM HURL Bluuuuarghhhhh Heck heck Gawd... Alison is getting all the fun... Sulk... lol Ella |
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Subject: RE: BS: Tavern Rites of Spring From: GUEST,Matt_R Date: 23 Mar 01 - 10:05 AM C'mon Mario!! It's one of the world's most perfect foods!! MMmmmmm I could go for some right now. Haven't had it in FOREVER! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Tavern Rites of Spring From: Ella who is Sooze Date: 23 Mar 01 - 10:09 AM you havnt had it in forever.... ooooooOOOOOOOHHHHHHHH.... Where's Spaw when you need him...lol |
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Subject: RE: BS: Tavern Rites of Spring From: SINSULL Date: 23 Mar 01 - 10:54 AM This from the guy who sucks his own toes!!!!!Somebody make sure he brushes his teeth before the ceremony. Just our luck to get nail clippings in the jell-o. Oh dear gods and goddesses, Micca!! Put your kilt back on! Your getting little black curly hairs in the ambrosia and I'm scheduled for a dental check-up tomorrow! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Tavern Rites of Spring From: Ella who is Sooze Date: 23 Mar 01 - 11:01 AM was wondering what that annoying little tickle was at the back of my throat was.... LMAO...Sorry.. bout that... LOL.....OOOOOO Matron |
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Subject: RE: BS: Tavern Rites of Spring From: SINSULL Date: 23 Mar 01 - 11:08 AM OK Now. Pay attention. While Matt is off brushing his teeth, let's start the incantaions. Didn't want to scare the poor boy with all that "eater of raw flesh" stuff. Don't want to tie him down if we don't have to. Shame he doesn't drink...Oh well. Here goes: Dionysou thymiama styraka Kiklêskô Dionyson Eribromon, Euastêra, Prôtogonon, Diphuê, Trigonon, Bakcheion, Anakta! Agrion, Arrêton, Kryphion, Dikerôta, Dimorphon! Kissobryon, Taurôpon, Arêion, Euion, Hagnon! Ômadion, Trietê, Botryêphoron, Ernesipeplon! Euboleus, Polyboulos, Dios kai Persephoneiês Arrêtois lektroisi teknôtheis, Ambrote Daimon Klythi, Makar, phônês, hêdys d' epipneusoon amemphês Eumenes êtor echôn, syn euzôoisi tithênais. I translated it for the blues singers among us To Dionysos With storax incense I summon Dionysos the Loud Roarer, He Who Cries Eua, Firstborn, Two-Natured, Thrice Born, Bacchic One, My Lord! Wild One, Unspeakable One, Secret One, Two-Horned and Two-Formed One! Ivy-wrapped, Bull-faced, Martial Reveler, Thou Pure One! Eater of Raw Flesh, Lord of Biennial Rites, Bearer of Grapes, Wearer of Green Shoots! Good Councilor, Frequent Councilor, Child of Zeus and of Persephonê When They joined in an ineffable Union, Thou immortal Spirit! Hear Thou, Blessed One, my voice, and gently breathe Thou upon me Kindheartedly, with Thy fair-girt Nurturers. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Tavern Rites of Spring From: Ella who is Sooze Date: 23 Mar 01 - 11:33 AM I thought you were reading out the contents of your medicine cabinet E |
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Subject: RE: BS: Tavern Rites of Spring From: Micca Date: 23 Mar 01 - 11:42 AM Sins, you forgot the bit about" Come Kore, Maiden come, bring Holy hours of thy most Holy Spring.....and so long as there is no Savlon in the offing (ask Liz the Squeak) will retain my kilt...The falsk always contains some strange and Outlandish alcholic beverage, at present it is Stroh rum, (60% by Volof Alcohol, 120 proof UK, 160 proof US) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Tavern Rites of Spring From: Ella who is Sooze Date: 23 Mar 01 - 11:47 AM Rum..........yum rum yum rum yum! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Tavern Rites of Spring From: SINSULL Date: 23 Mar 01 - 12:27 PM Micca - we couldn't find a maiden. Matt will have to do. And Ella - that's the wrong chant. Turn to Page 356. You've lost yourself in the sea shanties again. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Tavern Rites of Spring From: Morticia Date: 23 Mar 01 - 02:12 PM A more up to date translation for the blues singers amongst might more closely resemble the following:
Woke up this morning, found my virgin child was gone
Don't you hate it when that happens,wearer of green shoots done got my girl?
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Subject: RE: BS: Tavern Rites of Spring From: Micca Date: 23 Mar 01 - 02:16 PM Ella, it is actually Rum flavoured " death on wheels" of the kind that you dont swallow, you take it in your mouth and it evaporates, straight into the head....WOW!!!! ask LtS, and assorted others that have tried it. Sins, that is the invocationfor a very different spring festival... do you think Matt could do a Sgt Howie ????? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Tavern Rites of Spring From: hesperis Date: 23 Mar 01 - 02:54 PM Morty - where did you find that? Or did you just write it? I love it!!! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Tavern Rites of Spring From: Morticia Date: 23 Mar 01 - 03:04 PM I just made it up on the spot, Hesp.....feel free to add on and/or use, just as you like :) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Tavern Rites of Spring From: MMario Date: 23 Mar 01 - 03:04 PM Micca - where did you get some of Nanny Ogg's cider? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Tavern Rites of Spring From: Morticia Date: 23 Mar 01 - 03:52 PM Ahhh, the stuff that's made of apples......mostly. He can't have that in his hip flask, it would eat it. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Tavern Rites of Spring From: Micca Date: 23 Mar 01 - 04:59 PM Morty, isnt STROOOOOOOH!!!!! enough?? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Tavern Rites of Spring From: Morticia Date: 23 Mar 01 - 07:01 PM Not compared to Scumble, it isn't. |