BS: I am not perfect after all

Subject: RE: BS: I am not perfect after all
From: GUEST,Guest from Sanity
Date: 28 Jun 13 - 08:55 PM

Musket: "There are one or two people on this forum who do respect people's faith. One is called Musket and the other apparently is called Ian. Lots of examples of this for those capable of reading what they actually read.   What's more, he / I / we respect lifestyle choice."

Roses are Red
Violets are Blue,
I'm a Schizophrenic
And So Am I.

Kept My Head High
As I Stand Tall
Ahh the Cool Breeze Blowing
Cuz I Just Licked My Balls.

I Woof You!..so much!


Little Hawk: "It's the path of least love, least awareness...and MOST resistance. Because, like any form of resistance, it produces friction, heat, conflict, and warfare of various sorts."


Well, I almost hate to shed some light here...except YOU'LL 'get it'!!
Movement causes friction.
Bowel movements cause politics.
Let's take sides.
Leave Sanity out of it!

GfS

Subject: RE: BS: I am not perfect after all
From: Jack the Sailor
Date: 28 Jun 13 - 11:00 PM

Musket has said that he does not have a "stance" vis a vis religion. Does anyone believe that he does not have a stance?

Musket has asked for his arguments be taken seriously a few times. But the only way to know which arguments are to be taken seriously is after the fact when he whines about not being taken seriously.

Musket is idiot enough to say this. "There are one or two people on this forum who do respect people's faith. One is called Musket and the other apparently is called Ian." I hope and pray that "Ian" is not fool enough to believe it.

Musket is as sane and stable as a brim bag full of brain damaged experimental monkeys. I don't know about Ian but he really should have more sense than to associate himself with Musket.

"Sailor Jerk."

More childish name calling. Good, did you accuse me of rising to the bait? What a sane clear minded intelligent man you are!

I don't have a wish not to be associated with my posts I really don't care. My name is not a secret. Lots of people know it. If you had asked nicely I would have told you. Hell, I might have told you if you had asked at all. Likewise, your "secret" about your name. If you had asked me to protect it I would have. But no, you ordered me to keep a secret whose only purpose was so that you could lay abuse on me and a select few others without being associated with your own words. It was a "secret" you were doing a very poor job of keeping yourself.

Polite conversation. Mmm. No. Got me there. Must be some American phenomenon.

" I call it a delusion rather than a belief because you prove time and time again to be beyond polite debate. "

Excuse me please for misquoting you. I said "polite conversation" you said "polite debate."

So you don't want to be taken seriously, except when you want to complain about it. And you hold me to a standard of "polite debate." While you mock and taunt me.

Do us all a favor. Go back to being Ian and stick to topics and modes of "debate" and "conversation" that do not embarrass you in your life.

Subject: RE: BS: I am not perfect after all
From: GUEST,Musket sans Ian
Date: 29 Jun 13 - 03:04 AM

Well. Gosh. Err..

This must be what Americans call analysis.   Flattered by all the attention and all that.

I suppose if I started hating queers and bought a tambourine I could even find new virtual friends through Mudcat! I might find some who aren't of simian extract who can understand the odd serious point amid the pointing at absurdity?

Anyway.

Roses are red
I am just larking
About on my keyboard
And Goofus is barking

Jack makes the mental leap from me advising people that their names are public to thinking I am ordering him not to use it. Which he then does, as I would expect from a childish idiot.   Although saying he can do the mental leap stunt is a compliment of sorts. Still, at least he can hide behind his moniker when coming out with taunts, saying that being rational is a sign of abuse or bad religious experience.

Akena... no, fuck giving him credence or excuse to spew hatred.

The good professor needs a walk and my ear drops need putting in.

Reality awaits.

Sorry if cyber bollocks and reality get confused for some. Personally I reserve it for the music threads and understand what BS stands for. You see it is nicer to take the piss than to give credence to those who cross the line from opinion to bigotry. You can't educate pork but you can make wonderful crackling.

Subject: RE: BS: I am not perfect after all
From: GUEST,Musket sans Ian
Date: 29 Jun 13 - 03:30 AM

Mind you I have had some decent discussions in the past on the BS wavelength. Nice when people give opinions rather than preempt opinions of others or dismiss large sections of society for being different.

I'm not bigoted but. ... (Sorry, every comic on Dave channel must have copyrighted that line.)

I suppose one problem is when you are either misquoted or have things attributed to you that are false, your natural reaction is to throw it back.   Jerk puts three statements to my name above that are wrong, and he either knows they are wrong or I have been dismissing when I should have been careful, as I am not qualified to deal with his issues. Not sure which it is. Ironically, that could be the biggest insult I have laid on him yet.

Far better that I make my points by starting a new religion in order to point out the absurdity of Jerk's contention that lack of religion is due to damage early in life and totally dismissing Akenaton as being wicked with no attempt at humour on my part.

Subject: RE: BS: I am not perfect after all
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 29 Jun 13 - 03:31 AM

I thought "Sailor Jerk" was an amusing coinage. A bit like Aspirant Pharoah, Primitive Tribesman, Mither, Fugitive from Sanity, and so on. Juicy Brucie is not so creative but there is history to that name. Then there are Fluffy One, Saint Eliza the Mother Superior, and more. Go on, have some fun!

San Serif.

Subject: RE: BS: I am not perfect after all
From: GUEST,musket sans shame
Date: 29 Jun 13 - 04:26 AM

I liked the one you were given once, M'UnLearned Friend.

I recall I once called you Rumpole of the Volvo...

Subject: RE: BS: I am not perfect after all
From: akenaton
Date: 29 Jun 13 - 05:00 AM

Do you pair not think that you would feel more at home on Facebook?

Subject: RE: BS: I am not perfect after all
From: GUEST,Musket sans decorum
Date: 29 Jun 13 - 05:10 AM

Do you not think you'd feel more at home in the '50s?

Subject: RE: BS: I am not perfect after all
From: akenaton
Date: 29 Jun 13 - 07:21 AM

The fifties were a time of optimism..."we've never had it so good" the Tories said, but we all believed we could make it better, that we could stop war, banish nuclear weapons, compete against any manufacturing nation in the world...we believed all the lies,we thought we were special, we never thougt to question the system itself, we were the "me" generation.

Now not even the young have optimism, our greatest victory is legal rights for homosexuals who already have them and don't really want them, while the health figure continue to worsen....70 % of new hiv an syphillis cases come from 2% of the population.
The fifties weren't so bad......for homosexual health?

Subject: RE: BS: I am not perfect after all
From: GUEST,Musket sans public health
Date: 29 Jun 13 - 09:16 AM

The fifties were great for being gay!

Bed and three meals a day abd what's more, get to share a cell with a potential lover. Hypocrisy abound and should you insist on your illegal disgusting habit there was always judicial castration.

We looked after war heros too. Up till the point Turing committed suicide.

Back in your compost heap, worm.

Subject: RE: BS: I am not perfect after all
From: Little Hawk
Date: 29 Jun 13 - 09:35 AM

Could you expound a bit on your new religion, Musket? I don't know if you're looking for any converts, but if you are, then it would help if they knew what they would be converting to. Does it include any prophets, saints, teachers, or holy books (such as Das Kapital, the Koran, Chairman Mao's Little Red Book, the Bible, the Book of Mormon, Mein Kampf, A Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy, Wanking for Dummies or The Fountainhead, for example?). In any case, just as a matter of interest, it would be nice to know all about your new religion. A religion, after all, is a generalized kind of world view...a general view of reality from a certain perspective, usually having an ethical and historical basis of some kind. What is yours? When did it start? How many adherents does it have? Where are its monuments and gathering places?

Oh, and how's that ear canal coming along?

Subject: RE: BS: I am not perfect after all
From: GUEST,Musket sans olive oil
Date: 29 Jun 13 - 10:09 AM

Start on thread Little Hawk.

The ear wax sees to be an issue brought on by some medical complaint. I never really suffered too much before. I am taking strong drops that needs be flushed through in the shower twice a day. I suppose I don't smell though...

Hearing varies but I am glad I have no gigs for a couple of weeks, either under my stage name or in folk field as Ian. My hearing is shocking. Glad I am on Holiday, which is grand. Southwold, Sussex. Perfect small coastal resort full of nice pubs and restaurants. Dog gets dragged along the beach and we enjoy the cuisine and shops.

Ok, the religion...

Mr Shaw is working on scripture etc. I am getting the troops. Dave the Gnome is our messiah and Betty Swollox has agreed to brew tea.

It started last week. It has three real adherents and one made up. It has monuments such as my credibility and Jerks's sense of shame. Anfield is a monument to the past and Hillsborough a monument to the future.

We don't do God, which makes us consistent with the previous UK government and any gaps we can make up and pretend they are real.

Wonder nobody thought of that before?




Oh.......

Subject: RE: BS: I am not perfect after all
From: Little Hawk
Date: 29 Jun 13 - 10:57 AM

Hmmm. I've been thinking some about it here, and have come to the conclusion that I don't have a religion as such, I have a set of questions and concerns about my life (and life in general) that strongly interest me. I'll look into any religion or group who seem to be addressing those concerns in a useful, intelligent way...or any book that seems to do the same. I'm definitely on a search for greater meaning, happiness, and inner peace, as well as greater knowledge and experience. That pretty well sums it up. I'm not interested in "the rules", I'm interested in the questions, and the various hypothetical answers to those questions. Then test them out. See what happens. See if anything changes.

Subject: RE: BS: I am not perfect after all
From: GUEST,Musket sans truth
Date: 29 Jun 13 - 12:13 PM

That's us out then. We don't do intelligent. We are set up purely for the glorification and gratuity of the one redeemable soul lost at sea.

Apparently.

Though don't tell him.

He's impossible as it is without knowing the one true path was set up to praise him and his impotence, or omni something or other. ..

Subject: RE: BS: I am not perfect after all
From: Little Hawk
Date: 29 Jun 13 - 12:47 PM

When you say "us"...are you referring to yourself and your shadow? Or the Greyhound, perhaps?

Subject: RE: BS: I am not perfect after all
From: GUEST,Musket sans belief
Date: 29 Jun 13 - 02:10 PM

I refer to our religion of course....

The sense of belonging is strong brother.

Subject: RE: BS: I am not perfect after all
From: Little Hawk
Date: 29 Jun 13 - 02:38 PM

Oh, I see. Yes, no doubt those bonds are strong.

Now, what's cooler? Omnipotence? Omniscience? Or Omnipresence? I had a Dachshund once who was quite certain about having the first 2 qualities, and constantly regretting that he did not have the 3rd. He was an ambitious little creature, bent on establishing absolute tyrranical hegemony over all in his realm...his "realm" meaning our house, our yard, and the general vicinity within earshot...a not inconsiderable realm at that, because Dachshunds have very acute hearing.

Subject: RE: BS: I am not perfect after all
From: GUEST,Musket sans canine attributes
Date: 29 Jun 13 - 03:07 PM

Greyhounds are particularly insensate. Mine is anyway. No brain, no pain.

Your story reminds me of Billy Connolly telling of receiving banjo lessons in Glasgow years ago. The teacher also bred dachshunds and the bitch was only allowed to mate every second season. He kept her upstairs when on heat. Connolly asked if that was wise with no gate on the stairs? He said, " Have you seen a dachshund try to climb the stairs with a hard on?"



Impotent is the most cool. Usually the cheapest anyway.....

Subject: RE: BS: I am not perfect after all
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 29 Jun 13 - 03:32 PM

I thought Rumpole of the Volvo was quite good.

But surely "Dachshunds with erections can't climb stairs" was not a Conolly coinage but Les Barker.

Subject: RE: BS: I am not perfect after all
From: GUEST,Musket again
Date: 29 Jun 13 - 03:38 PM

A matter of timing. I heard them both use it, but there again, have heard myself. I might have said sausage dog though...

So, who was first? Barker tends to be original, although watching him chase my ex wife round the stage with a cucumber brought on a sense of déjà vu.... Connolly has been around some time.....

Subject: RE: BS: I am not perfect after all
From: Little Hawk
Date: 30 Jun 13 - 12:15 AM

That's cucumber abuse!

Subject: RE: BS: I am not perfect after all
From: GUEST,Guest from Sanity
Date: 30 Jun 13 - 01:09 AM

Musket: "...although watching him chase my ex wife round the stage with a cucumber..."

Well...she could always eat it!

GfS

Subject: RE: BS: I am not perfect after all
From: GUEST,Musket sans stage props
Date: 30 Jun 13 - 03:56 AM

You'd have to appreciate the hordes of Ghengis Aykroyd and an OS Map of The Isle of Wight I'm afraid. .. Not to mention being at The Stainby Folk Festival circa 1981.

Flashback time. The late great Johnny Silvo was on stage later, picked up the cucumber, threw it to a group of admirers and said "Right shape, wrong colour. "

As this thread is about my perfection, that was my perfect day. Not through the cucumber but jamming in the beer tent with Johnny Silvo and Diz Dizley.

Subject: RE: BS: I am not perfect after all
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 30 Jun 13 - 11:34 AM

Silvo was a great.

Subject: RE: BS: I am not perfect after all
From: GUEST,Guest from Sanity
Date: 30 Jun 13 - 01:11 PM

Musket: "As this thread is about my perfection, that was my perfect day. Not through the cucumber but jamming in the beer tent with Johnny Silvo and Diz Dizley."

Oh!..Then when you were jamming in the tent you must have thrown quite a few clams, because the thread title is: " I am not perfect after all"....
or...
....maybe you were jamming that ol' cuke, and you lost the fight with your ol' lady over it!

...which would explain, 'I am not perfect' after all!

Winkin' at ya'

GfS

Subject: RE: BS: I am not perfect after all
From: GUEST,Musket still suffering..
Date: 30 Jun 13 - 02:38 PM

Hadn't married her at that point... Fighting was fun to come, as it were....

My recollection is that my rhythm was the constant for their genius, but as it was in a beer tent..... Others may have alternative recollections.

Typo due to iPad having mind of its own. Stainsby not Stainby. Grrrrrrr

Subject: RE: BS: I am not perfect after all
From: GUEST,Guest from Sanity
Date: 01 Jul 13 - 11:25 AM

Musket" Hadn't married her at that point... Fighting was fun to come, as it were....Typo due to iPad having mind of its own. Stainsby not Stainby. Grrrrrrr"

No. no. no...it's NOT the cuke that leaves the stains.......no wonder she was fighting....

GfS

Subject: RE: BS: I am not perfect after all
From: Little Hawk
Date: 01 Jul 13 - 12:28 PM

Was this an average size cucumber? Or one of those really gigantic ones? Was it an English cucumber? They're longer than the other kind.

Subject: RE: BS: I am not perfect after all
From: GUEST,Musket sans vegetables
Date: 02 Jul 13 - 07:13 AM

The festival was in a field in Derbyshire so most likely English cucumber.

Long time go, and asking the former Mrs Musket may be fraught with danger...

The Silvo reference may help answer your question....

Subject: RE: BS: I am not perfect after all
From: GUEST,Guest from Sanity
Date: 02 Jul 13 - 12:11 PM

Fuck it...get a watermelon!

GfS

Subject: RE: BS: I am not perfect after all
From: Little Hawk
Date: 02 Jul 13 - 12:51 PM

I've seen zuchinnis that would give you pause. Saw one that was almost as large AS a good-sized watermelon. The sheer gravitas and silent dignity of a zuchinni that large is something to behold. I'm surprised that Roland Emmerich hasn't yet made a disaster movie about a zuchinni the size of the Houston Astrodome attacking North America and causing a lot of stuff to blow up real good! How he could have overlooked it?

Subject: RE: BS: I am not perfect after all
From: GUEST,Guest from Sanity
Date: 02 Jul 13 - 01:57 PM

Little Hawk: "I've seen zuchinnis that would give you pause..."

Hey!....There are some pumpkins that would give you menopause!...or was that, 'Men on pause'...oh well...same thing......
Ya' think pumpkins should be allowed to marry?..."Hey baby, you got a nice stem there!'

GfS

Subject: RE: BS: I am not perfect after all
From: GUEST,Musket sans credibility
Date: 02 Jul 13 - 02:19 PM

All this concentration on vegetables. Huh.

I got to jam with my heros and you want to know the details of the vegetable with a walk on part.

That's showbiz.

Subject: RE: BS: I am not perfect after all
From: GUEST,Guest from Sanity
Date: 02 Jul 13 - 02:33 PM

Well, make sure they're not GMO's....you know, there's a lot of that running around these days!.....and some are actually convinced that they ARE!!!!
.........and some idiots actually believe them!!!..You wouldn't want to get sicker would you??

GfS

Subject: RE: BS: I am not perfect after all
From: GUEST,SJL
Date: 02 Jul 13 - 08:38 PM

Always clean your ears out when you get out of the shower. The warmth and moisture softens the wax and makes it easier to remove.

I'd really be interested in what your dog has come up with thus far. My dog can only dig holes. As soon as he wakes up, I'm going to tell him he's a slacker.

Subject: RE: BS: I am not perfect after all
From: Jack the Sailor
Date: 02 Jul 13 - 08:51 PM

"Far better that I make my points by starting a new religion in order to point out the absurdity of Jerk's contention that lack of religion is due to damage early in life and totally dismissing Akenaton as being wicked with no attempt at humour on my part."

My contention is that the vitriol that Steve heaps on the religious is probably due to abuse heaped on him.

Your problems seem to be more due to your pitiful need to have your ego stroked with pointless attention and your propensity to lie. You pick fights an hurl insults for no apparent reason than to draw attention to yourself.

Of course I fully expect you to continue pretend to misunderstand what I am saying I also expect you to continue to project your own pathologies upon me.

Go ahead, call me a dog buggering attention hog. There is nothing to stop you but your under developed conscience.

Subject: RE: BS: I am not perfect after all
From: GUEST,Musket evolving slowly
Date: 03 Jul 13 - 04:49 AM

Funny, I thought the dog buggered you. ...

Wrong thread my salty seaman. The new religion is thriving on the appropriate thread and your prediction seems to have come true. I'd be dining out on that if I were you.

As I type, I heard a slurping noise and it was my dog licking his balls. Except he doesn't have any. But still he licks them..   it occurs to me that the concept of religion is not confined to humans.

Subject: RE: BS: I am not perfect after all
From: Jack the Sailor
Date: 03 Jul 13 - 05:10 AM

You also seem to think that you have a functioning mind.

Wrong thread eh? I was quoting one of your multiple and obviously idiosyncratically uncommunicative personalities in the following post on this thread.

From: GUEST,Musket sans Ian - PM
Date: 29 Jun 13 - 03:30 AM

You think that your neutered Dog Swam across the Atlantic and molested me do you? You need to share that delusion with a medical professional. Allegedly you know some.

Don't be too hard on the dog. You seem to think that you have a functioning sense of humour. In your home apparently delusions abound!

Subject: RE: BS: I am not perfect after all
From: GUEST,Musket sans tribute act
Date: 03 Jul 13 - 09:37 AM

Err.. I am confused. Is that something you wrote and I didn't read? Also, I was trying o peer into the mind of Goofus at the time mentioned on the post you refer to.

I notice it said PM on it. I have only pm'd Little Hawk in the last week or so and recall telling him I can't reply till I get back off holiday as my phone doesn't hold cookies so cannot log in.

Where did you get that from? Or are you making things up again?

Subject: RE: BS: I am not perfect after all
From: GUEST,Guest from Sanity
Date: 03 Jul 13 - 11:12 AM

..Mmmm..roasted dog balls...mmmmmmmm......succulent!!!!

GfS

Subject: RE: BS: I am not perfect after all
From: Little Hawk
Date: 03 Jul 13 - 11:44 AM

"it occurs to me that the concept of religion is not confined to humans."

Actually, Musket, you've stumbled on a great truth there. All of Nature salutes the sacredness and holy power of existence every day, each animal in their own fashion, some with quite dramatic forms of ritual, generally around either sunrise or sunset, depending on whether they are nocturnal or diurnal creatures. In doing this, they are behaving in a profoundly religious manner...and they're actually far more tuned in than most people are (because their heads aren't so full of extraneous stuff as ours are).

I've witnessed it many times in Nature. It's particularly noticeable with birds, coyotes, wolves, and dogs, but pretty well all animals evidence it to some extent.

And they need no Bible and no Church to do it, but they are acknowledging something quite holy by pure instinct and awareness. I think that "something" is the same thing people seek out in religion...we just dress it up in far more complex clothing, so to speak...and it's the very specific forms of clothing that you object to. ;-D

Subject: RE: BS: I am not perfect after all
From: Jack the Sailor
Date: 03 Jul 13 - 11:50 AM

"Where did you get that from? Or are you making things up again? "



"PM" is after the posters name on every post on the Mudcat.

I guess it would be redundant to ask if you are really that stupid.

I got it from YOU on THIS thread. You can scroll down to the time and date indicated and read for yourself. Really, you ought to try to get your personalities to talk to each other, or at least leave yourself a note when you are switching.

Subject: RE: BS: I am not perfect after all
From: GUEST,Musket sans stupid sailors
Date: 03 Jul 13 - 12:49 PM

I read my post from 3.30am, or a few hours later in the real world.. You are not quoting from it. Seriously, I just scrolled again and I didn't put what you posted above.

I suggest you book in for a session with Goofus. He s an excellent trick cyclist.

If you can't adequately dismiss why I type, don't make things up and attribute them to me.

Anyway, bullshit merchants need to check their facts. I am the one with the neutered dog, so why on earth would I cross the Atlantic? I do occasionally in order to remain a VP of some business interests but never to mate my neutered dog with a Jack Tar.

What an odd tangent? Mind you, what an odd person doing it.....

Subject: RE: BS: I am not perfect after all
From: akenaton
Date: 03 Jul 13 - 01:35 PM

Well Jack, It certainly sounds like Ian.....the bitterness, the lame jokes, the extreme arrogance.

I don't think anyone could make that up....I would say "the real deal".
Perhaps deleted by a passing mod with a nose for garbage?

Subject: RE: BS: I am not perfect after all
From: GUEST,Musket sans hate
Date: 03 Jul 13 - 01:52 PM

By that reckoning, none of yours would remain for all to see.

The real deal is that Scotland is going to acknowledge gay marriage before England. What wonderful open minded citizens there are up there. Makes you proud eh?

Well worm, does it?



If that post existed and it had been taken down, it was possibly because it wasn't any of my ip addresses, but why anybody would wish to flatter me? After all, it tends to be bigots, zealots and weird buggers who jump at my posts.

Subject: RE: BS: I am not perfect after all
From: GUEST,Guest from Sanity
Date: 03 Jul 13 - 02:34 PM

Musket: "The real deal is that Scotland is going to acknowledge gay marriage before England. What wonderful open minded citizens there are up there. Makes you proud eh?"

"I am the one with the neutered dog, so why on earth would I cross the Atlantic? I do occasionally in order to remain a VP of some business interests but never to mate my neutered dog with a Jack Tar."

Maybe you answered your own question!

GfS

Subject: RE: BS: I am not perfect after all
From: Jack the Sailor
Date: 03 Jul 13 - 03:22 PM

No Ake, it's not the mods. Search for this string of text below. In very short order you will see the whole quote. I have to admit that while this started out funny, so clearly and openly pointing out another person's mental impairment is starting to become very sad. But no one can say he didn't ask for it and that he is not continuing to ask for it, except him maybe. But he thinks it is OK to lie to religious people even on government forms.

"starting a new religion in order"

Subject: RE: BS: I am not perfect after all
From: Jack the Sailor
Date: 03 Jul 13 - 03:25 PM

Yeah, the guy with the hundred names who can't even keep track of his own posts calling me weird.....

That hurts...

LOL!!

You are drinking aren't you?

Subject: RE: BS: I am not perfect after all
From: GUEST,Musket sans Clapton
Date: 03 Jul 13 - 03:44 PM

I would be if I were in Carolina, but only to prepare myself for bumping into you. Although I would probably avoid Jesus freaks cos you lot make ours look inadequate.

Still having issues seeing what was put in my name. Considering I didn't type that, and cannot find it, I assume you have a delusion

To go with your other one perhaps?

Goofus. Don't make mental leaps old chap. I didn't write the second bit so your conclusion is up to your usual standards. Anyway, I just put in a good word for you as as shrink to our resident "at sea" person.   

I assume you are not capable of sorting his issues. No matter, neither am I. Or Freud.   Or my mate in The Wheatsheaf.

Subject: RE: BS: I am not perfect after all
From: Jack the Sailor
Date: 03 Jul 13 - 04:31 PM

My My My Ian. Click here.