BS: Suggest a welcome for Bush

Subject: RE: BS: Suggest a welcome for Bush
From: Peace
Date: 23 Nov 04 - 08:44 PM

"Is there something there worth blowing up?"

I forgot to mention the William Shatner 500-foot high inflatable doll. Figure with the amount of wind comin' outta you, you'd have him all blowed up in a few hours.

Then there is the collection of biologically accurate adult companion dolls that you'd likely just love to get your lips on.

Or there's--do you want me to tell you more, or will this occupy your thoughts for a few days?

Subject: RE: BS: Suggest a welcome for Bush
From: Mooh
Date: 23 Nov 04 - 09:22 PM

brucie..Don't forget the giant axe, and giant lobster in places out east (God I love NB NS PEI!). Mooh.

Subject: RE: BS: Suggest a welcome for Bush
From: Mooh
Date: 23 Nov 04 - 09:23 PM

...and how could I forget that giant groundhog in my home town of Wiarton! Mooh.

Subject: RE: BS: Suggest a welcome for Bush
From: Blissfully Ignorant
Date: 23 Nov 04 - 09:32 PM

If anyone's going to be blowing up anything, make it the new Scottish parliament building... God, it's ugly! How did they manage to waste so much money on it? A five year old could've designed something prettier for the princely sum of one chocolate bar and a teddy bear...

Subject: RE: BS: Suggest a welcome for Bush
From: Peace
Date: 23 Nov 04 - 09:35 PM

An American's Guide to Canada: Roadside Attractions

Hey, GUEST US, Google the above.

Thanks, Mooh. I'd forgot about the lobster and I never knew about the axe or the groundhog.

Subject: RE: BS: Suggest a welcome for Bush
From: Cluin
Date: 23 Nov 04 - 09:42 PM

Okay, if they want to show their displeasure with GWB, they can just have the dog sled be half an hour late meeting him at the airport (you know we only have one airport in Canada, right?). But no more than half an hour... we wouldn't want him to freeze to death in the 85 below zero temperature here in the middle of the afternoon.

Subject: RE: BS: Suggest a welcome for Bush
From: Peace
Date: 23 Nov 04 - 10:43 PM

As a goodwill gesture, I could lend Bush my longjohns. If he turns 'em inside out they'll be almost like newly-washed. I've only had 'em on for about five months now.

Of course, with you telling about the temperature and all, we'll likely lose GUEST US's commerce, and I was sure he'd take the bait. That little slip of the lip about 85 below probably cost us twenty, maybe twenty-five TOURIST DOLLARS. Coulda doubled our GDP. Ah, well, what's done is done. And by the way, I'm am glad to hear it's warmed up a bit where you are, Cluin. Ya may not have to sleep with the dogs when it starts getting chilly. Remember, summer'll be over soon.

Subject: RE: BS: Suggest a welcome for Bush
From: Metchosin
Date: 24 Nov 04 - 01:05 AM

jeez guys, you forgot the most important thing. We've got the World's Biggest Hockey Stick in Duncan, BC!

Of course the Americans don't think Canada's bigger stick counts because its made of Douglas fir and they think that their puny little aspen replica is a real one..... anyone seen Paul Bunyon playing with it in a game recently?

Next thing you know someone will start demanding that we put the World's Biggest Lobster back in the ocean at night to keep him alive?

Subject: RE: BS: Suggest a welcome for Bush
From: freda underhill
Date: 24 Nov 04 - 08:28 AM

we have a few big things
in oz, too...

Subject: RE: BS: Suggest a welcome for Bush
From: Peace
Date: 24 Nov 04 - 10:34 AM

Who milks that moomoo? Whoa!

Subject: RE: BS: Suggest a welcome for Bush
From: Little Hawk
Date: 24 Nov 04 - 10:37 AM

Ha! Ha! Ha! (Gasp!)

No, U.S., the reason people don't sneak across the border to blow things up in Canada is because the World likes Canada and does not fear us! We have not invaded and conquered anyone lately. We are not a terrorist power. We don't threaten people with attack all the time.

It's the same reason that they don't sneak across the border and blow up things in Denmark, Sweden, Norway, etc...

And, by golly, there ARE things worth blowing up here! Yeah, baby! Several of them have already been mentioned, but one hasn't: the World's largest remaining supplies of pure, fresh water.

It's something your government is busily figuring out how to get (steal) for themselves, since the USA is running out of fresh water fast.

Subject: RE: BS: Suggest a welcome for Bush
From: GUEST,US
Date: 24 Nov 04 - 11:06 AM

So size matters in Canada? I saw a giant moose up there in Moose Jaw

As long as the Moosehead beer brewery is not targeted, the terrorists can blow up anything they want. That Kokanee Glacier Beer was even better than Moosehead but I can't find it here in the US.

I am glad to see you guys are taking my heckling so well. Sometimes people with an inflated ego like Brucie need to be taken down a notch. I hope he does not represent the average Canadian.


By the summer of 1996, his third in Montreal, Ahmed Ressam had built a circle of friends.

Most were disaffected young men, Algerians who spent their days playing soccer, smoking cigarettes and decrying the corrupt culture of their new country while simultaneously exploiting its generous immigration and welfare laws.


Uncle Sam

Subject: RE: BS: Suggest a welcome for Bush
From: Mooh
Date: 24 Nov 04 - 12:24 PM

brucie...Somewhere there are photos of me and various family members by the big nickel, the axe, the lobster, the groundhog, the CN tower...I hope we're not subconsciously compensating for anything!

Today's noon TV news had a story about Ottawa students preparing for the big protest. God bless the idealistic youth!

Peace, Mooh.

Subject: RE: BS: Suggest a welcome for Bush
From: Peace
Date: 24 Nov 04 - 12:35 PM

Hey, Mooh. Thanks for all the input, buddy.

Guest US: You have done wonders for my ego. I have a hard time seeing how you remember to breathe given your limited mental abilities. You are a true dolt. How could anyone argue with you and NOT feel superior? Hell, son, my dog would look good with you in a conversation.

Subject: RE: BS: Suggest a welcome for Bush
From: RichM
Date: 24 Nov 04 - 02:28 PM

ok,it's over.the suggestion box is now closed.

folks thanks to all for the input; I have a good idea of the winner, but I am going to go over all suggestions once more before finally deciding.

There is only one prize available; the first CD cut by GOSPEL GRASS. That's because I have only one copy. (If there were more, I'd be glad to award further prizes)

I appreciate all your responses.
I'll get back to this thread in a day or so; a band practice and a gig are in the works today and tomorrow (remember music? the reason we all came to Mudcat?)

Cheers

RichM

Subject: RE: BS: Suggest a welcome for Bush
From: GUEST,US
Date: 24 Nov 04 - 04:50 PM

Correction:

Brucie is a conceited person of "superior" intelligence.

Is everybody in Canada have a superiority complex like Brucie?


Superiority complex:

The superiority complex involves covering up your inferiority by pretending to be superior. If you feel small, one way to feel big is to make everyone else feel even smaller! Bullies, braggarts, and petty dictators everywhere are the prime example. More subtle examples are the people who are given to attention-getting dramatics, the ones who feel powerful when they commit crimes, and the ones who put others down for their gender, race, ethnic origins, religious beliefs, sexual orientation, weight, height, etc


Uncle Sam

Subject: RE: BS: Suggest a welcome for Bush
From: Peace
Date: 24 Nov 04 - 05:01 PM

"Is everybody in Canada have a superiority complex like Brucie?"

You mean 'does'.

I only feel superior to YOU, Guest, mostly because you are an asshole. I do not like you at all. By the way, where'd ya steal THAT from? Name your source, because sure as hell someone with your thinking skills couldn't have composed it.

Now, have a NICE day.

Subject: RE: BS: Suggest a welcome for Bush
From: GUEST,US
Date: 24 Nov 04 - 05:17 PM

Subject: RE: BS: Suggest a welcome for Bush
From: GUEST,US
Date: 24 Nov 04 - 05:24 PM

Ow! Oooh! It hurts so bad when you find something wrong with someone's post so you can contest that rather than the contents which are so true.

You are a prime example of the Bullies, braggarts, and petty dictators everywhere

Yes. I am having a nice day.

Uncle Sam

Subject: RE: BS: Suggest a welcome for Bush
From: Little Hawk
Date: 24 Nov 04 - 05:43 PM

We Canadians absolutely love making fun of ourselves, US. It's an established tradition here. No one is better at making fun of Canadians than Canadians themselves, eh? If you would be kind enough to provide a mailing address I can probably get a drive going here to send you care packages of things "only available in Canada" and brighten up your dreary life some... :-)

Things like Resdan, for instance. It's a Canadian dandruff removal product. Beauty, eh?

Subject: RE: BS: Suggest a welcome for Bush
From: GUEST,US
Date: 24 Nov 04 - 05:59 PM

I use Denorex. Is Resdan better? I could probably order it online.

Every one should be able to see their own faults and laugh at theirselves. I think this is called humility.

Sometimes you see that perfect person that is so pleased with thierself. I think that is called self-infatuation.

Uncle Sam

Subject: RE: BS: Suggest a welcome for Bush
From: DougR
Date: 24 Nov 04 - 07:43 PM

Surely, Rich M., you have time to at least type the message you selected to insult our president.

DougR

Subject: RE: BS: Suggest a welcome for Bush
From: Little Hawk
Date: 24 Nov 04 - 10:24 PM

I haven't got a clue if Denorex is better or not. I suspect they are fairly comparable, but who knows? There have been a whole series of totally unremarkable products advertised as "only available in Canada" on Canadian TV for years...basically as a joke, because no one in Canada really gives a damn if something is only available in Canada, but it's fun to pretend that other people (like the British) are desperately jealous because THEY can't get it! :-)

There was a long-running Red Rose tea ad based on that premise for many years. The scene....

STUFFY, POMPOUS OLD BRITISH GENT:

"By Jove, Rachel, this is simply marvelous tea! What brand is it?"

HIS STUFFY, POMPOUS WIFE, RACHEL:

"It's Red Rose tea, Winston. Eddie sent it from the 'colonies'. He says it's only available in Canada!"

WINSTON (looking flabbergasted):

"ONLY AVAILABLE in...Canada???? (shaking head in exasperated wonder)........Pity!"

This is all, of course, nonsense. Red Rose tea is available almost anywhere in the world. And as tea goes, it rates about a 4 out of 10.

Subject: RE: BS: Suggest a welcome for Bush
From: GUEST,US
Date: 25 Nov 04 - 09:25 AM

My wife and I once visited Lac Megantic, Quebec. We committed the crime of wearing Hawaiian shirts and shorts. We were ogled like extra terrestrials. Even though I had high school French one and two we were not very fluent and that further irritated the locals.

Food packaging had French on one side and English on the other. A box of cereal had Capitaine Crouche on one side and Captain Crunch on the other. Smurfs were Les Stroumps

The final blow came when we attempted to pay for something with American money.

That part of Canada was not very hospitable at all.

Uncle Sam

Subject: RE: BS: Suggest a welcome for Bush
From: RichM
Date: 25 Nov 04 - 10:20 AM

I regret you felt uncomfortable during your visit.
As someone who is a native Quebecer, and fluent in French and English, I welcome anyone's attempt to speak in either language when in Canada.
Unfortunately there are yahoos everywhere in the world. Sounds like you met some of 'em.

However, American money is not legal tender in Canada.
It's a courtesy when Canadian businesses accept it, but you should not be offended if it's refused.
Canadian banks generally convert foreign funds to dollars, for a small fee.

Hope you come back and visit again. Most Canadians (and Quebecers )are polite and welcoming to visitors.


RichM

Subject: RE: BS: Suggest a welcome for Bush
From: Peace
Date: 25 Nov 04 - 10:22 AM

"We committed the crime of wearing Hawaiian shirts and shorts."

You were being ogled because it was winter.

Subject: RE: BS: Suggest a welcome for Bush
From: Peace
Date: 25 Nov 04 - 10:29 AM

GUEST US

Individual, Existential, and Humanistic Psychology

That's where you stole your last quote from. Have you ever thought anything for yourself?

Sheesh.

Subject: RE: BS: Suggest a welcome for Bush
From: Cluin
Date: 25 Nov 04 - 10:32 AM

What time of year were you in Quebec? Even other Anglophone Canadians aren't welcomed there around St-Jean-Baptiste Day (June 24). And I've had the experience often enough in the States of not having my Canadian currency accepted. Many were downright rude about it. I always convert it to US funds before I visit the US now.

Subject: RE: BS: Suggest a welcome for Bush
From: ToulouseCruise
Date: 25 Nov 04 - 10:40 AM

Actually RichM, you may not get to even hold your sign up for him to see, unless you are heading to Halifax NS... Dubya has decided that there was too much risk of being "heckled" in our Parliament, so he is giving a much-belated speech in Halifax to thank Atlantic Canada for the assistance this area gave at 9/11 for the redirected aircraft that could not land in the New York area..

Subject: RE: BS: Suggest a welcome for Bush
From: RichM
Date: 25 Nov 04 - 10:53 AM

And the winning entry is:

drumroll drumroll drumroll drumroll drumroll drumroll drumroll


   (Bush) When are your kids enlisting?

By
drumroll drumroll drumroll drumroll drumroll drumroll drumroll

Marion!


I
Here's why I picked this one:
First, Many Canadians believe that Iraq was not responsible for the attacks of September 11, 2001
Secondly, though I am not an American, this war affects Canadians, and indeed all non Americans too.

And Bush's conduct in his life has not been worthy of a leader.
Bush's daddy got him into the reserve forces instead of allowing him to risk being sent to Vietnam.

I'll give some examples of courage , honor and duty, for the sake of comparison.

(My cousin is an American citizen in the reserves.
He has been given notice that he will likely be going to Iraq soon.
He's fifty years old.
Let's send the Bush twins instead. They are young and likely more fit than he is.


Another cousin age 62,(dual citizen: Canadian\ American)and brother to the cousin above, served two tours in Vietnam.
My father, Uncle Stan, Uncle Alec, and my father in law John all served in the Canadian Army overseas in WW2. They didn't avoid their duty when drafted.

So, Mr. Bush please lead by example.
Encourage your daughters to enlist.

And that's why my sign will be:

"When are your kids enlisting?"

Subject: RE: BS: Suggest a welcome for Bush
From: ToulouseCruise
Date: 25 Nov 04 - 11:00 AM

Excellent choice, RichM, and congrats Marion!

Subject: RE: BS: Suggest a welcome for Bush
From: Peace
Date: 25 Nov 04 - 11:59 AM

Bravo.

Subject: RE: BS: Suggest a welcome for Bush
From: Little Hawk
Date: 25 Nov 04 - 02:05 PM

US, it doesn't matter where you go in Canada, practically EVERYTHING is labelled in both French and English (as far as I know). It's a damn good thing we don't have 3 or 4 official languages! Working class English Canadians seem to bitterly resent the presence of the French labelling. They keep defacing it on washroom equipment and such...

Subject: RE: BS: Suggest a welcome for Bush
From: DougR
Date: 25 Nov 04 - 03:24 PM

Rich M. You may not be aware of it, but the U. S. has an all-volunteer Army, Navy, Marines, Airforce, and Coast Guard. Our reserves are also volunteers. Every service man and woman serving in Iraq and Afghanstan, and anyplace else in the world, are there because they volunteered to serve.

If the Bush twins choose to enlist, I'm sure they would be welcomed. However, it would not be lawful for their father to draft them into service.

DougR

Subject: RE: BS: Suggest a welcome for Bush
From: RichM
Date: 25 Nov 04 - 04:49 PM

DougR said:
Rich M. You may not be aware of it, but the U. S. has an all-volunteer Army, Navy, Marines, Airforce, and Coast Guard. Our reserves are also volunteers. Every service man and woman serving in Iraq and Afghanstan, and anyplace else in the world, are there because they volunteered to serve.

If the Bush twins choose to enlist, I'm sure they would be welcomed. However, it would not be lawful for their father to draft them into service.

DougR

I know the US forces are volunteers. My older cousin was a volunteer to Vietnam.

Let me rephrase the question:
Will the Bush twins volunteer?

Subject: RE: BS: Suggest a welcome for Bush
From: Peace
Date: 25 Nov 04 - 04:53 PM

Good time to make book, IMO.

Subject: RE: BS: Suggest a welcome for Bush
From: GUEST,Lucky Pierre
Date: 25 Nov 04 - 09:08 PM

A maverick Canadian legislator with a history of anti-Bush comments said Wednesday she won't apologise for stomping on a doll of U.S. President George W. Bush in a television comedy skit, but promised not to heckle the president when he visits Canada Nov. 30.

Bush is expected to address Canada's Parliament and meet with Prime Minister Paul Martin to discuss issues ranging from trade to terrorism and nation-building aid in Iraq during the two-day visit.

Carolyn Parrish, a member of the ruling Liberal Party for a district outside of Toronto, made headlines in Canada last year on the eve of the U.S.-led invasion of Iraq when she was overheard telling a reporter: "Damn Americans. I hate those bastards." Although she said she regretted that outburst, she still supports her more recent comments calling supporters of the U.S. ballistic missile defense plan the "coalition of the idiots" and this month's description of Bush as "warlike," a comment Martin denounced as unacceptable.

Subject: RE: BS: Suggest a welcome for Bush
From: dianavan
Date: 26 Nov 04 - 12:59 AM

Whats wrong with 'coalition of the idiots'? Its no worse than 'axis of evil'.

d

Subject: RE: BS: Suggest a welcome for Bush
From: Willie-O
Date: 26 Nov 04 - 08:23 AM

I'm leaning towards "Americans: 49% Right". I want to honour my many friends, and the millions more whom I've never met, who worked so hard to try to get their country a better leader, (and a better direction), than a certain half-bright lying fundamentalist tool of the dark forces of megalomaniacal American-supremacist oil-military-industrial capitalism.   

W-O

Subject: RE: BS: Suggest a welcome for Bush
From: DougR
Date: 26 Nov 04 - 01:53 PM

Rich M.: I seriously doubt that the Bush twins will volunteer, but you might ask them. Many who enlist do so because of the educational opportunities offered at the end of service. They probably have a lot of options open to them. That's not the only reason, of course, but one of the big ones.

DougR

Subject: RE: BS: Suggest a welcome for Bush
From: Peace
Date: 26 Nov 04 - 02:10 PM

What about patriotism, Doug? Or are they the special class of people?

Subject: RE: BS: Suggest a welcome for Bush
From: Little Hawk
Date: 26 Nov 04 - 02:12 PM

You have to ask?

Subject: RE: BS: Suggest a welcome for Bush
From: LadyJean
Date: 27 Nov 04 - 01:21 AM

My appologies to Newfoundlanders, and I always pronounce that New FOUND landers, as it should be. I had a housemate from Newfoundland, who vanished off the planet, leaving behind a large collection of furniture and clothing that I had to deal with.
I have been informed by several Canadians that Newfoundlanders aren't Canadian. I don't agree. But it's worth a mention.
I thin Marion's suggestion is excellent.
But are you sure you couldn't organize a massed raspberry?

Subject: RE: BS: Suggest a welcome for Bush
From: Peace
Date: 27 Nov 04 - 02:05 AM

Newfoundland joined Canada in 1949. The vote was as close as the recent American election. The Rock--as it is often called--refers to the Island. Labrador is physically part of northern Quebec, but it is part of Newfoundland. It has a great history (as do most places). The accent from English speakers there varies as much as do the accents in the USA and England. I have been to The Rock once, and I loved both it and the people.

Subject: RE: BS: Suggest a welcome for Bush
From: dianavan
Date: 27 Nov 04 - 04:52 AM

Since when are Newfies not considered Canadians? Never heard that before. Never even entered my mind. What kind of friends do you have?

d

Subject: RE: BS: Suggest a welcome for Bush
From: GUEST,US
Date: 27 Nov 04 - 10:44 PM

At the time my wife and I visited Quebec it was summer but it was a while ago when Quebec wanted to secede because they were too "French" to be Canadian.

We also visited Nova Scotia which was vastly different. Signs said north and south instead of nord and sud. Speed limits were in miles and gas was sold by the gallon. Very much like the US but more British and the people were very friendly as in western Canada.

While looking for the approximate year the Quebec wanted to secede, I found this interview that was on PBS in 2001:

MR. THOMPSON: Canada is an attractive place for insurgents and for organized criminals from all over the world.

MR. WATTENBERG: John Thompson, a former military intelligence officer, now directs the Mackenzie Institute, a strategic think tank in Toronto.

Uncle Sam

Subject: RE: BS: Suggest a welcome for Bush
From: Ellenpoly
Date: 28 Nov 04 - 02:36 AM

Canada busy sending back Bush-dodgers



SO TO SPEAK

Canada busy sending back Bush-dodgers

Tuesday, November 16, 2004

The flood of American liberals sneaking across the border into Canada
has intensified in the past week, sparking calls for increased patrols
to stop the illegal immigration.

The re-election of President Bush is prompting the exodus among
left-leaning citizens who fear they'll soon be required to hunt, pray
and agree with Bill O'Reilly.

Canadian border farmers say it's not uncommon to see dozens of
sociology professors, animal rights activists and Unitarians crossing their fields at night.

"I went out to milk the cows the other day, and there was a Hollywood
producer huddled in the barn," said Manitoba farmer Red Greenfield,
whose acreage borders North Dakota.

The producer was cold, exhausted and hungry.

"He asked me if I could spare a latte and some free-range chicken. When I said I didn't have any, he left. Didn't even get a chance to show him my screenplay, eh?"

In an effort to stop the illegal aliens, Greenfield erected higher
fences, but the liberals scaled them. So he tried installing speakers
that blare Rush Limbaugh across the fields.

"Not real effective," he said. "The liberals still got through, and
Rush annoyed the cows so much they wouldn't give milk."

Officials are particularly concerned about smugglers who meet liberals
near the Canadian border, pack them into Volvo station wagons, drive
them across the border and leave them to fend for themselves.

"A lot of these people are not prepared for rugged conditions," an
Ontario border patrolman said. "I found one carload without a drop of
drinking water. They did have a nice little Napa Valley cabernet,
though."

When liberals are caught, they're sent back across the border, often
wailing loudly that they fear retribution from conservatives. Rumors
have been circulating about the Bush administration establishing
re-education camps in which liberals will be forced to drink domestic
beer and watch NASCAR.

In the days since the election, liberals have turned to sometimes
ingenious ways of crossing the border.

Some have taken to posing as senior citizens on bus trips to buy cheap
Canadian prescription drugs. After catching a half-dozen young vegans
disguised in powdered wigs, Canadian immigration authorities began
stopping buses and quizzing the supposed senior-citizen passengers.

"If they can't identify the accordion player on The Lawrence Welk Show,we get suspicious about their age," an official said.

Canadian citizens have complained that the illegal immigrants are
creating an organic-broccoli shortage and renting all the good Susan
Sarandon movies.

"I feel sorry for American liberals, but the Canadian economy just
can't support them," an Ottawa resident said. "How many art-history majors does one country need?"

In an effort to ease tensions between the United States and Canada,
Vice President Dick Cheney met with the Canadian ambassador and pledged that the administration would take steps to reassure liberals, a source close to Cheney said.

"We're going to have some Peter, Paul & Mary concerts. And we might put some endangered species on postage stamps. The president is determined to reach out."

Subject: RE: BS: Suggest a welcome for Bush
From: Little Hawk
Date: 28 Nov 04 - 12:30 PM

(Chuckle!)

Are we still looking for ways to welcome Bush?

What I can't wait for is Hillary's visit to Canada. Bill was here awhile back, signing books in Toronto.

Subject: RE: BS: Suggest a welcome for Bush
From: DougR
Date: 28 Nov 04 - 12:38 PM

Ellenpoly: Maybe Canada should post troops along the border! That might help prevent Terrorists from sneaking into the U. S. too.

DougR

Subject: RE: BS: Suggest a welcome for Bush
From: *Laura*
Date: 28 Nov 04 - 12:47 PM

Are the twins allowed abortions?