BS: Cannabis....any jokes?

Subject: BS: Cannibis....any jokes?
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Apr 07 - 09:59 AM

Click for the 'PermaThread™: List of all joke threads'

---

Sorry, but I keep reading the "Cannibals" thread title this way.

I think I'm going to pot.

Subject: RE: BS: Cannibis....any jokes?
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 04 Apr 07 - 10:25 AM

Mind; how you go!

Subject: RE: BS: Cannibis....any jokes?
From: frogprince
Date: 04 Apr 07 - 10:26 AM

Somebody around here sucks

Subject: RE: BS: Cannibis....any jokes?
From: *daylia*
Date: 04 Apr 07 - 10:31 AM

I've already gone pottie

Subject: RE: BS: Cannibis....any jokes?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 04 Apr 07 - 10:42 AM

I kept reading it that way, too. Cannibis has made me laugh on more than one occasion, cannibals not so much.

Subject: RE: BS: Cannibis....any jokes?
From: Mrrzy
Date: 04 Apr 07 - 11:23 AM

I am reminded of a movie in which somebody hid the pot in a funerary urn - then the question came up as to who put the cannabis in the guy's mother's ashes? Promptly misunderstood by an African character who went off on a rant about how the cannibals are in Sierra Leone whereas in his country, they had the leopard society - they kill the man but they don't chop him up. Very funny scene, but what was the movie?

Subject: RE: BS: Cannibis....any jokes?
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 04 Apr 07 - 11:27 AM

Must be another Kieth Richards joke in here!

Subject: RE: BS: Cannibis....any jokes?
From: Donuel
Date: 04 Apr 07 - 12:00 PM

At GNC you can buy canapiss. It claims to be clear of any performance enhancing drugs.

Subject: RE: BS: Cannibis....any jokes?
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Apr 07 - 01:10 PM

Canapiss? I thought that was Budweiser.

Subject: RE: BS: Cannibis....any jokes?
From: Peace
Date: 04 Apr 07 - 01:10 PM

There is nothing funny about cannibis. It gives rise to too many serious considerations. The following situation is based on a TRUE STORY although the names, places and circumstances have been changed.

Subject: RE: BS: Cannibis....any jokes?
From: frogprince
Date: 04 Apr 07 - 01:35 PM

My, that was a really short story!

Subject: RE: BS: Cannibis....any jokes?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 04 Apr 07 - 01:49 PM

I was gonna say something... what was it now... hmmm

Subject: RE: BS: Cannibis....any jokes?
From: gnu
Date: 04 Apr 07 - 01:50 PM

But, it gets directly to the joint.

Subject: RE: BS: Cannibis....any jokes?
From: frogprince
Date: 04 Apr 07 - 01:56 PM

Now I'm remembering an open mike night at a little coffee house in Chicago, in the early '70s. Shaggy kid takes the performing stool, says "Hi, I'm Rocky the Flying Squirrel; this one is about cowboys and indians, during the civil war" and at that moment ceased to do anything except sit there staring into space until someone steered him off stage.

Subject: RE: BS: Cannibis....any jokes?
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Apr 07 - 02:33 PM

Hi! What's a joint like you doing in a place like this?

Subject: RE: BS: Cannibis....any jokes?
From: Don Firth
Date: 04 Apr 07 - 04:25 PM

Two pot-heads sitting around their pad getting stoned. Suddenly there is a loud knock on the door, and a shout:   "Open up! This is the police!"

The two pot-heads leap up and look wildly around the apartment, trying to find a place to hide the half-smoked joint. One of them opens the little door on the cuckoo clock and pegs the joint inside, while the other goes and opens the door before the police knock it down. The cops come in and search the apartment. They can smell the pot heavily in the air, but they can't find the stash or any other evidence. Just as they're about to give up and leave, the door on the cuckoo clock creaks open, the little bird leans against the door jamb, and says, "Hey, man . . . what time is it?"

Busted!

Don Firth

Subject: RE: BS: Cannibis....any jokes?
From: Don Firth
Date: 04 Apr 07 - 04:51 PM

Hippie arcs down from a window on an upper floor of a high-rise apartment building. He's shouting, "Whee-e-e-e-e-e-e-e. . . ." all the way down. But his exuberance is cut short by the sound of a sickening "SPLAT!!" when he hits the sidewalk. Dead. Very dead.

Questioning witnesses on the street, police identify the window he came out of, go upstairs, and knock on the apartment door. Another hippie opens the door. The whole apartment reeks with pot smoke.

"What happened up here?" one of the cops asks.

"Well, says the hippie, "my buddy Maynard decided he wanted to fly around the building a couple of times."

"And you let him!??" asks the incredulous cop.

"Well, shit, man," said the hippie, "I thought he could make it!"

Busted!

Don Firth

Subject: RE: BS: Cannibis....any jokes?
From: Amos
Date: 04 Apr 07 - 04:58 PM

"Hey man, is that the sun up there?"
"Nah, man, that's the moon."
"Dude! That's the sun!"
"No, man, I'm telling ya, dat's the moon!"
"Let's ask this guy." (Glaze-eyed passerby)
"Hey man, settle this for us. Is that the moon up there, or the sun?"
"Jeeze, man, how should I know? I'm not from this neighborhood...".

---

Art Thieme tells the story of two hippes walking down a Chicago street. One of them takes out a capsule of amphetamine and breaks it in half. He swallows half of it and throws the other half away.

"Hey, man!!" says the other. "That's really wasteful!! Don't you know there are people sleeping in India???"


Boddabing, boddabong...


A

Subject: RE: BS: Cannibis....any jokes?
From: Becca72
Date: 04 Apr 07 - 05:13 PM

The only cannibis joke I know is my ex boyfriend...

Subject: RE: BS: Cannibis....any jokes?
From: alanabit
Date: 04 Apr 07 - 06:30 PM

Three prisoners in a cell.
The first says, "If I had some speed man, I'd have enough energy to file away through the bars on the window and we'd be out by the morning."
The second say, "Man, if I had some coke, I could fly clean through the bars on the door and out of here tonight."
The third draws on his spliff and says, "Hey guys, can't we talk about that shit tomorrow..."

Subject: RE: BS: Cannibis....any jokes?
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 04 Apr 07 - 06:42 PM

The Fabulous Furry Freak Brothers.

Subject: RE: BS: Cannibis....any jokes?
From: Peace
Date: 04 Apr 07 - 07:25 PM

Anyway, it was just after 2:21 AM and snow was falling from the sky. (Like, where else would it fall from, man? The roof? Sheeeeeit. Lemme start over.)

Anyway, it was just after 2:21 AM and snow was falling from the roof.

The End.

Subject: RE: BS: Cannibis....any jokes?
From: Peace
Date: 04 Apr 07 - 09:04 PM

EUREKA. At last, the cannibis thread. Now, to continue . . . .

Subject: RE: BS: Cannibis....any jokes?
From: Peace
Date: 04 Apr 07 - 09:13 PM

Once upon a time there were three aardvarks. The momma aardvark, the poppa aardvark and the little baby aardvark and they cried all the way home.

The End

Subject: RE: BS: Cannibis....any jokes?
From: GUEST,tolerance
Date: 04 Apr 07 - 09:15 PM

I see you found the thread Peace. I hope you can find your way out of it.

Subject: RE: BS: Cannibis....any jokes?
From: Peace
Date: 04 Apr 07 - 09:19 PM

Thank you, tolerance. I hope you have a wonderful evening. You seem like a very nice person.

Subject: RE: BS: Cannibis....any jokes?
From: GUEST,tolerance
Date: 04 Apr 07 - 09:23 PM

Thank you peace. If you can't find your way out of this thread, just climb all the way to the top, find the Quick Links box and press Go.

Subject: RE: BS: Cannibis....any jokes?
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Apr 07 - 09:26 PM

So, this cat is walking down the street. It's like, on the Deep South Side of Chicago and he's white and he's really, really, worried. All he wants to do is catch a bus and go home.

Walks up to a bus stop where there's the big black guy already waiting. White guy's really worried, 'cause this other guy could crumble him up like a piece of paper. He waits for a few minutes and then asks the other guy, "Cross town buses run all night?"

And the guy replies, "Doo dah, doo dah." And they both went back to the black guys place for some more of what was being smoked.

Subject: RE: BS: Cannibis....any jokes?
From: Peace
Date: 04 Apr 07 - 09:36 PM

OK. Climb all the way to the top, find the Quick Links box and press Go. Got it. Thank you very much.

Subject: RE: BS: Cannibis....any jokes?
From: Peace
Date: 04 Apr 07 - 09:38 PM

After ya pass Go, what happens?

Subject: RE: BS: Cannibis....any jokes?
From: Big Mick
Date: 04 Apr 07 - 09:39 PM

Collect yer bucks, buy a dime bag, enjoy......

Far out,

Mick

Subject: RE: BS: Cannibis....any jokes?
From: Peace
Date: 04 Apr 07 - 09:42 PM

Got it. But I ain't walkin' down the street with it. No way!

Subject: RE: BS: Cannibis....any jokes?
From: GUEST,patty o'dawes
Date: 04 Apr 07 - 09:47 PM

There's trouble ahead..............

Subject: RE: BS: Cannibis....any jokes?
From: Peace
Date: 04 Apr 07 - 09:53 PM

And soon things were completely out of hand . . . .

Subject: RE: BS: Cannibis....any jokes?
From: GUEST,patty o'dawes
Date: 04 Apr 07 - 09:58 PM

Now can this go above the line?

Subject: RE: BS: Cannibis....any jokes?
From: Big Mick
Date: 04 Apr 07 - 10:00 PM

No. You start smokin this shit and it leads to this. We must save the youth of the world from the evils of the devil weed.

Subject: RE: BS: Cannibis....any jokes?
From: Peace
Date: 04 Apr 07 - 10:06 PM

We gotta have sex-change operations?

Subject: RE: BS: Cannibis....any jokes?
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Apr 07 - 10:09 PM

Yes. But not the faucet.

Subject: RE: BS: Cannibis....any jokes?
From: GUEST
Date: 04 Apr 07 - 10:18 PM

It's to late. We're doomed I tell you.

Subject: RE: BS: Cannibis....any jokes?
From: Peace
Date: 04 Apr 07 - 10:24 PM

One small toke for man . . . .

Subject: RE: BS: Cannibis....any jokes?
From: Bill D
Date: 04 Apr 07 - 11:22 PM

vote green!

Subject: RE: BS: Cannibis....any jokes?
From: gnu
Date: 05 Apr 07 - 05:18 AM

Gee, that there Mary Jane stuff sure can make ya stemmey, eh Mick? I was like Becca from Portland... well, I like em all.

Subject: RE: BS: Cannibis....any jokes?
From: gnu
Date: 05 Apr 07 - 09:47 AM

Oops!! - "was"

Subject: RE: BS: Cannibis....any jokes?
From: Amos
Date: 05 Apr 07 - 10:05 AM

Aw man... what TIME is it?



A

Subject: RE: BS: Cannibis....any jokes?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 05 Apr 07 - 10:14 AM

Time, ah yes.

Once, many years ago, I stopped into my brothers dorm room. He and his friends had eaten some shrooms and were in a very interesting place. They had turned the digital clock upside down, just because they could. While I was there one of them noticed that the time was 8:58 and found it amazing that the time was the same upside down as right side up. At 9:06 they were entirely blown away when they realized that it had happened again. I said "yeah, that happens every eight minutes." They were all like, wow, no shit, that's really cool. I kind of hated to tell them that I was just funnin'. They were smoking doob, too, so this sort of fits in a cannibis thread.

Subject: RE: BS: Cannibis....any jokes?
From: Splott Man
Date: 05 Apr 07 - 10:18 AM

Old MacDonald had some weed, e - ii - eee - iiii - oooooooooooooooooo.





Then Old Macdonald had some speed, eieio.

Subject: RE: BS: Cannibis....any jokes?
From: Peace
Date: 05 Apr 07 - 10:23 AM

WOW. Found the thread again. OK. Here's another story.

Onec upon a time--aw, man, I gotta get some popsicles. BRB.

The End

Subject: RE: BS: Cannibis....any jokes?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 05 Apr 07 - 10:51 AM

popsicles, what flavor, I got some bad cotton mouth, man, pass one over here

Subject: RE: BS: Cannibis....any jokes?
From: Peace
Date: 05 Apr 07 - 11:47 AM

Cherry, orange, lemon and purple. Take your pick. Like--aw, man, I left them in the mailbox. BRB.

Subject: RE: BS: Cannibis....any jokes?
From: An Buachaill Caol Dubh
Date: 05 Apr 07 - 11:52 AM

Chill, man.