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BS: Daft Adverts!

JennieG 01 Sep 13 - 12:35 AM
Bill D 31 Aug 13 - 06:28 PM
Michael 31 Aug 13 - 06:18 PM
GUEST,Eliza 31 Aug 13 - 03:24 PM
Mr Happy 31 Aug 13 - 12:59 PM
Gurney 19 Apr 13 - 12:42 AM
Mr Happy 18 Apr 13 - 09:28 AM
Nigel Parsons 18 Apr 13 - 04:06 AM
Mr Happy 17 Apr 13 - 06:31 AM
MGM·Lion 21 Sep 12 - 04:16 AM
Mr Happy 21 Sep 12 - 04:05 AM
Bert 20 Sep 12 - 08:14 PM
MGM·Lion 20 Sep 12 - 05:39 PM
GUEST,leeneia 20 Sep 12 - 12:37 PM
Sandra in Sydney 20 Sep 12 - 06:00 AM
Mr Happy 20 Sep 12 - 03:41 AM
gnu 10 Jan 12 - 10:02 PM
Mr Happy 10 Jan 12 - 04:41 AM
Bainbo 09 Jan 12 - 03:58 PM
gnu 09 Jan 12 - 03:44 PM
Mr Happy 09 Jan 12 - 04:51 AM
Sandra in Sydney 08 Jan 12 - 07:26 PM
Mr Happy 08 Jan 12 - 10:38 AM
Mr Happy 27 Oct 09 - 12:01 PM
Mr Happy 09 Sep 09 - 08:41 AM
Mr Happy 06 Apr 09 - 09:30 AM
Bert 25 Mar 09 - 06:48 AM
katlaughing 24 Mar 09 - 07:50 PM
Wesley S 24 Mar 09 - 10:20 AM
SINSULL 24 Mar 09 - 09:16 AM
Mr Happy 24 Mar 09 - 04:14 AM
GUEST,J. Garfield Davis 23 Nov 07 - 10:54 AM
Bert 23 Nov 07 - 03:29 AM
Ella who is Sooze 16 Nov 07 - 03:35 AM
Mr Happy 15 Nov 07 - 12:09 PM
JohnInKansas 14 Nov 07 - 12:24 PM
topical tom 14 Nov 07 - 12:19 PM
JohnInKansas 14 Nov 07 - 12:06 PM
JohnInKansas 14 Nov 07 - 11:59 AM
GUEST,Dáithí 14 Nov 07 - 05:05 AM
Mr Happy 14 Nov 07 - 03:45 AM
Rapparee 26 Oct 07 - 02:01 PM
Mrs.Duck 26 Oct 07 - 09:27 AM
topical tom 25 Oct 07 - 09:17 AM
Mr Happy 24 Oct 07 - 09:43 AM
Bat Goddess 23 Oct 07 - 07:37 PM
RangerSteve 23 Oct 07 - 03:33 PM
Mr Happy 23 Oct 07 - 09:29 AM
GUEST,Black Hawk on works PC 23 Oct 07 - 09:24 AM
Mr Happy 23 Oct 07 - 09:11 AM

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Subject: RE: BS: Daft Adverts!
From: JennieG
Date: 01 Sep 13 - 12:35 AM

How about a large sign which says: "Baby Warehouse"?

I often wondered where the little blighters came from......


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Subject: RE: BS: Daft Adverts!
From: Bill D
Date: 31 Aug 13 - 06:28 PM

TV ad for patch you stick on "Salonpas... "for mild to serious moderate pain!"

Covers all the bases in one short phrase.


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Subject: RE: BS: Daft Adverts!
From: Michael
Date: 31 Aug 13 - 06:18 PM

Again not an advert but quite common: "This door must remain locked at all times" so why not a wall then?


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Subject: RE: BS: Daft Adverts!
From: GUEST,Eliza
Date: 31 Aug 13 - 03:24 PM

I love the sceptic tanks!! LOL!!
I like doors that are 'Alarmed', one feels an urge to reassure them. And here in Norfolk we have 'Genuine PVC Jackets' for sale on Norwich market. At least they're painfully honest about them.


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Subject: RE: BS: Daft Adverts!
From: Mr Happy
Date: 31 Aug 13 - 12:59 PM

Sign in gardening dept.

'Grow your own Growbags!'

& an advert for a plumbers; 'drains & sceptic tanks cleaned' [my italics]


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Subject: RE: BS: Daft Adverts!
From: Gurney
Date: 19 Apr 13 - 12:42 AM

We have an Ab-circle-pro, (Sp?) with a "full circular motion!"
No it hasn't. Works in an arc. Has stops to stop you putting 360deg in you backbone.


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Subject: RE: BS: Daft Adverts!
From: Mr Happy
Date: 18 Apr 13 - 09:28 AM

Saw a banner proclaiming Holywell Festival which also announced;

'Wale's got talent!'

Welsh grammar?


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Subject: RE: BS: Daft Adverts!
From: Nigel Parsons
Date: 18 Apr 13 - 04:06 AM

From much earlier in the thread:
'America's got Talent.' 'Englands got Talent' Talent, yes.
Grammar, no.

Where did either of these countries get their talent? Went and collected it from Germany?
'America has talent' & 'England has talent'.


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Subject: RE: BS: Daft Adverts!
From: Mr Happy
Date: 17 Apr 13 - 06:31 AM

On TV last night 'Online swimming lessons!'

I wonder how that works?


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Subject: RE: BS: Daft Adverts!
From: MGM·Lion
Date: 21 Sep 12 - 04:16 AM

One can get too picky imo about what constitutes 'daftness'. Surely, Mr Happy, 'free-range eggs' is a recognisable and convenient elliptical locution for 'eggs laid by free-range hens'?

~M~


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Subject: RE: BS: Daft Adverts!
From: Mr Happy
Date: 21 Sep 12 - 04:05 AM

Free range eggs, eh?

Surely not, imagine eggs roaming a field independently!


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Subject: RE: BS: Daft Adverts!
From: Bert
Date: 20 Sep 12 - 08:14 PM

And then there was that bar with the sign "Live Dancers".


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Subject: RE: BS: Daft Adverts!
From: MGM·Lion
Date: 20 Sep 12 - 05:39 PM

"Ads for new movies always end with the phrase - "Only in theaters". I don't know who needs to be told that. Do people expect movies to premier in the laundromat?"
\,..,

In interests of fairness ~~ this not so absurd. It surely means that it has not been simultaneously issued on DVD as some films are, so can, at least for the moment, only be seen by visiting the cinema?

~M~


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Subject: RE: BS: Daft Adverts!
From: GUEST,leeneia
Date: 20 Sep 12 - 12:37 PM

My neighbor grew up on a farm 50 miles away. She told me her brother raises free-range chickens. Then she added, "Of course, they don't move around outside. They live in boxes."

For a chicken, that's surely worse than being in a building. Imagine a coyote sniffing around at night or a hawk overhead in the day. The poor chickens can see the predators, but they have no place to hide, can't flee...

Pfui!


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Subject: RE: BS: Daft Adverts!
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 20 Sep 12 - 06:00 AM

brilliant!


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Subject: RE: BS: Daft Adverts!
From: Mr Happy
Date: 20 Sep 12 - 03:41 AM

In local paper yesterday:

'New invisible hearing aid - has to be seen to be believed!'


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Subject: RE: BS: Daft Adverts!
From: gnu
Date: 10 Jan 12 - 10:02 PM

Happy... here's a new one here. They don't have it so I ask for a raincheck and they say they can't give me one because it's not an item that they regularly stock. That's when I ask for them to get the manager to extend the date on the rain check because they didn't have any in stock upon the opening day of the sale. That confuses them and they do call for the manager. That's when the fun starts... upon store opening on the first date of the sale. I always get my unlimited time raincheck.

The squeaky wheel gets the manager.


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Subject: RE: BS: Daft Adverts!
From: Mr Happy
Date: 10 Jan 12 - 04:41 AM

Bainbo,

Exactly my point, for the so called 1/2 price of £7.99, you should've been able to buy it for 1/2 of that!

Gnu,

'Blatant dupe to get people in the store. False advertising.'

A Netto shop near me used to regularly put out fliers round the neighbourhood advertising special offers, but whenever I went to buy these, they never had any!


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Subject: RE: BS: Daft Adverts!
From: Bainbo
Date: 09 Jan 12 - 03:58 PM

Beginning of October I went into a Marks & Spencer here in the UK and there was an assistant at the door touting "half price" Christmas cake - down from (I'm guessing now) £15.99 to £7.99.

And I thought (but didn't say, though maybe I shold have): "When? When did you start selling Christmas cake at £15.99, that you can reduce it now? It's only October now!"


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Subject: RE: BS: Daft Adverts!
From: gnu
Date: 09 Jan 12 - 03:44 PM

A lot of that here... HALF PRICE! But, they jack up the price on the sign. And, where the advert used to say regular price it now says "featured price".

Lately, some grocery stores have been advertising something that isn't even in season, and you find they have a poor substitute at a much lower price. Example... The Real Atlantic Stupidstore flier had honey tangerines for $1.49 a pound. Now, there ain't none on the go here in January but I thought maybe they got some from "somewhere". I got to the store and they had sunburst tangerines for $0.96 a pound. I asked the clerk. He pointed. I said those are not honey tangerines... I won't bore you with the next five minutes but right up to the produce manager (4th guy called in to figure this out - ???) I was told they are the same... and I won't tell you what I told the produce manager on accounta I think you know what I told him.

Blatant dupe to get people in the store. False advertising.


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Subject: RE: BS: Daft Adverts!
From: Mr Happy
Date: 09 Jan 12 - 04:51 AM

.....& the ones that really p*ss me off are the constant 1/2 price ads.

If stuff's 1/2 price then you should be able to buy it at 1/2 the marked price.

But no, another lie.

The price is the price


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Subject: RE: BS: Daft Adverts!
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 08 Jan 12 - 07:26 PM

The Grateful Dead, The Zombies


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Subject: RE: BS: Daft Adverts!
From: Mr Happy
Date: 08 Jan 12 - 10:38 AM

Are you in a band? You or your band could play live at Europe's best festivals this summer

*****

How can anyone play other than live?


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Subject: RE: BS: Daft Adverts!
From: Mr Happy
Date: 27 Oct 09 - 12:01 PM

...........& 'outdoor reared sausages'!!


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Subject: RE: BS: Daft Adverts!
From: Mr Happy
Date: 09 Sep 09 - 08:41 AM

Free Range eggs - why then do you have to pay for them??


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Subject: RE: BS: Daft Adverts!
From: Mr Happy
Date: 06 Apr 09 - 09:30 AM

Anyone drive a Key Assole?


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Subject: RE: BS: Daft Adverts!
From: Bert
Date: 25 Mar 09 - 06:48 AM

And Toyota have a vehicle called Tacoma.

Don't they realise what a spectacular engineering disaster that was.


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Subject: RE: BS: Daft Adverts!
From: katlaughing
Date: 24 Mar 09 - 07:50 PM

The Old Navy ads with the mannequins breaking off each other's fingers, etc. are sickening...I can't believe they think they will sell anything with those.


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Subject: RE: BS: Daft Adverts!
From: Wesley S
Date: 24 Mar 09 - 10:20 AM

My favorite is still a sign I saw in front of a bait shop. It said "Worms and Cold Beer". My friend said that's the ONLY way he'd eat worms is if he had a lot of cold beer.


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Subject: RE: BS: Daft Adverts!
From: SINSULL
Date: 24 Mar 09 - 09:16 AM

I am sick to tears of that idiot woman rescuing her unused "stale" minutes from the trash bin. Show me a single household with children that has ANY unused cell phone minutes - pure idiocy.


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Subject: RE: BS: Daft Adverts!
From: Mr Happy
Date: 24 Mar 09 - 04:14 AM

Latest car from Korean manufacturers is being marketed in UK as a model called the 'Soul'

It's the Kia Soul - careful how you say it!!


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Subject: RE: BS: Daft Adverts!
From: GUEST,J. Garfield Davis
Date: 23 Nov 07 - 10:54 AM

Whenever I see some product advertised as "new and improved", I think that "up till now I've been eating old and inferior"


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Subject: RE: BS: Daft Adverts!
From: Bert
Date: 23 Nov 07 - 03:29 AM

Then there's that car ad. Can't think who it is for at the moment but they have a pair of calipers set on a stand and they 'ring' them like a tuning fork.

Now

1. Calipers don't 'ring' because they are not continuous over the joint.

2. Calipers don't 'ring' because they are restrained by the adjusting screw in the middle.

and 3.These calipers wont 'ring' because their ends are set into the display stand.

and these guys want you to be impressed by their engineering. SHEESH GUYS - GET IT RIGHT.


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Subject: RE: BS: Daft Adverts!
From: Ella who is Sooze
Date: 16 Nov 07 - 03:35 AM

the ones that get me are the ads that say...

Nothing works better than (add in product name) - well... USE NOTHING THEN!

EWIS... grumpy of Wales (not had coffee yet)


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Subject: RE: BS: Daft Adverts!
From: Mr Happy
Date: 15 Nov 07 - 12:09 PM

Renault Megane:

In Japanese 'Me' means 'eyes', 'Me-ga-ne' means 'Glasses!' [Spectacles]


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Subject: RE: BS: Daft Adverts!
From: JohnInKansas
Date: 14 Nov 07 - 12:24 PM

Judge for yourself:

Viagra may give men more than physical love

Reuters: updated 5:51 p.m. CT, Thurs., Aug. 23, 2007.

A little old for research in this field, but I haven't seen a rebuttal.

John


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Subject: RE: BS: Daft Adverts!
From: topical tom
Date: 14 Nov 07 - 12:19 PM

Induction of lactation? Bonding and orgasm? Should men be taking this?


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Subject: RE: BS: Daft Adverts!
From: JohnInKansas
Date: 14 Nov 07 - 12:06 PM

Has anyone decoded the Viagra language yet?

No, but the latest research indicates that Viagra appears to increase oxycontin1 levels in those who take it.

1 Oxycontin - A principal hormone in the inducing of lactation.

Actually, they claim it's a "good thing" since it also promotes "bonding and orgasm" - even in men(?)

John


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Subject: RE: BS: Daft Adverts!
From: JohnInKansas
Date: 14 Nov 07 - 11:59 AM

Spanish ads are apparently rather difficult to write, as the local (US) Spanish-speaking teen-guys seem to have an "obscene" meaning for every Spanish word.

(Or maybe they just add a little "spin" when explaining to gringos. I'll have to look for an adult speaker I guess.)

John


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Subject: RE: BS: Daft Adverts!
From: GUEST,Dáithí
Date: 14 Nov 07 - 05:05 AM

Rapaire -
"Or the Chevrolet Nova, a nice name but not in Spanish-speaking countries, where "No va" means "Doesn't go."


Reminds me of the reason Toyota didn't call their MR2 sportscar that name in France....

D


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Subject: RE: BS: Daft Adverts!
From: Mr Happy
Date: 14 Nov 07 - 03:45 AM

'staying in- is the new going out !


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Subject: RE: BS: Daft Adverts!
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Oct 07 - 02:01 PM

Then, when Pepsi hit China with the ad campaign about "refreshes your spirit" or something like that, it translated as "Pepsi brings back your dead ancestors."

Or the Chevrolet Nova, a nice name but not in Spanish-speaking countries, where "No va" means "Doesn't go."


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Subject: RE: BS: Daft Adverts!
From: Mrs.Duck
Date: 26 Oct 07 - 09:27 AM

What about the ad that claims shredded wheat is knitted by nannas! Everyone knows they only knit oversize jumpers with silly pictures on!


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Subject: RE: BS: Daft Adverts!
From: topical tom
Date: 25 Oct 07 - 09:17 AM

Has anyone decoded the Viagra language yet?


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Subject: RE: BS: Daft Adverts!
From: Mr Happy
Date: 24 Oct 07 - 09:43 AM

.........& why does 'anti-aging creme' have a sell-by date?


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Subject: RE: BS: Daft Adverts!
From: Bat Goddess
Date: 23 Oct 07 - 07:37 PM

Was in a convenience store picking up snacks for the rest of the office. One of the requests -- yeah, requests -- was for the red soft drink in the two litre bottle. The flavor? Red, of course. (Yes, that was the flavor name on the label!)

Linn


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Subject: RE: BS: Daft Adverts!
From: RangerSteve
Date: 23 Oct 07 - 03:33 PM

Ads for new movies always end with the phrase - "Only in theaters". I don't know who needs to be told that. Do people expect movies to premier in the laundromat?

Just a little thread drift here - there were two car ads that always ended with the phrases "Have you driven a Ford lately?", and "Find yourself in a Mercury now". I always wanted to go into the dealers and ask to test drive those models - the Lately and the Now. And then insist that they produce those models, as the ads clearly state that they exist.


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Subject: RE: BS: Daft Adverts!
From: Mr Happy
Date: 23 Oct 07 - 09:29 AM

You need new, improved 'Lazarus' pro-protein anti- death creme with added folic acid!!


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Subject: RE: BS: Daft Adverts!
From: GUEST,Black Hawk on works PC
Date: 23 Oct 07 - 09:24 AM

In supermarkets in UK there is a product in the gardening section that states 'Kills ants for up to 24hrs'.

My 10yr old daughter wanted to write to the company to say she had tried it on her ant farm but they had stayed dead and she wanted compensation.


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Subject: RE: BS: Daft Adverts!
From: Mr Happy
Date: 23 Oct 07 - 09:11 AM

..........& there's the one with the little girl saying so & so product 'makes me stronger-er!'

Don't give your children this - they'll end up with a speech impediment!!


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