OBIT: Support a Cancer-Battling Associate - May 09

Subject: BS: Supporting a Cancer-Battling Associate
From: wysiwyg
Date: 15 Aug 07 - 03:24 PM

What a crappy thread title. There isn't a good one.

OK, I know the first thing to do is ask the patient what help they would appreciate. That's ongoing....

But I keep thinking of Rick. We weren't close enough that I think I should refer to him as a "friend," just like the lady I'm concerned for now is not quite a friend but more of a close work-setting associate. (aaargh, boundaries!) But she is also a musician and, if I may say so, a sweetie-pie. So I think of Rick, and how much his last album meant to him, and how people who'd been a close part of his music life all along might have had some special touches on support I'm not aware of....

She's Stage4 and that's usually pretty bad. I'm not scared. I'm shy, but then I'm ALWAYS shy.... yeah, sometimes it's underneath where ya might not see it.

But anyhow-- would it make sense to take along an MP3 recorder and try to field-record her so she could hear herself and her kids could have it no-matter-what-happens?

Other music-oriented ideas? (CDs I know....)

~Susan

Subject: RE: BS: Supporting a Cancer-Battling Associate
From: ClaireBear
Date: 15 Aug 07 - 03:44 PM

That's tough, especially when there are children.

When I had cancer -- and here I must add that mine was at a much earlier stage, and I'm fine now -- what I mostly wanted was my privacy. But as it happened I was much more willing to allow people to help who if we had more casual relationships -- much like the one you describe here -- than friends and family who were close to me, like my siblings and close friends. I think I felt I'd have to keep up a false front of jollity with those I loved. Isn't that odd?

Funnily enough it never occurred to me to want to record myself making music; I wasn't in much of a mood to sing, I guess. Though everyone's different of course...

But I did buy a journal so that I could write messages for my then four-year-old son, mainly to tell him all the things about my family history that he would never hear from anyone else. And then, I didn't really have the energy to write in it. Possibly had someone been there to volunteer to hold an MP3 recorder and ask the right questions, that project would have gotten done.

Good luck, and good onya for wanting to help.

Subject: RE: BS: Supporting a Cancer-Battling Associate
From: jeffp
Date: 15 Aug 07 - 03:48 PM

Video is another possibility. Definitely try to capture what you can while you can. I have only a couple of recordings of my first wife and one of my second. I would give anything to be able to hear the first one's harmonies again. The second one was just getting to the point of confidence in her own voice when she got too sick to continue.

Maybe you could help her get down an oral history of her family -- childhood, her parents, grandparents, etc. Something that can be passed down to future generations.

Just a couple of thoughts off the top of my head.

Mainly, though, let her know she is loved.

Subject: RE: BS: Supporting a Cancer-Battling Associate
From: wysiwyg
Date: 15 Aug 07 - 04:01 PM

Thanks both of you.....

I did invite her to sit in on our Band anniversary singalong, because she has sat in with us before and instantly improvised right into our style despite a totally classical upbringing. I mean, I would have invited her ANYway because we're inviting everyone who's sat in, but when I got to her in my email list there was this little "gee, don't bother her NOW" gremlin and I told it to shut the F up! She replied right away that if she was feeling up to it on the day, she'd be there.

As far as "good on me" on this-- nope. All it takes is being willing to feel the feelings. Heck, how could one not, I don't get that reaction. It's... it's a privilege to have the opportunity!

~Susan

Subject: RE: BS: Supporting a Cancer-Battling Associate
From: Sorcha
Date: 15 Aug 07 - 11:03 PM

To me it is just so weird to hear my dad's voice coming out of a tape recorder. I have several recordings of him doing the Announcer bit at PRCA rodeos long before he got sick. I can't even imagine how weird it must be to be a film, etc. star's child and see your long dead parents on the screen in all their youthful glory.

But yes, we should do more of this. Someday, my grandson Owen will get to hear his Great Grandpa announce a rodeo.

Subject: RE: BS: Supporting a Cancer-Battling Associate
From: Mickey191
Date: 15 Aug 07 - 11:29 PM

My thought is that it would be a gift to all who love her. It probably will take time for them to be able to get pleasure from the tape or video.

I have a tape of my Mom & Dad & husband, Jim, on a Xmas eve -25 yrs. ago. My Dad talking about the "troubles" (in Eire)-was a history lesson for my husband. The jokes between them. My husband gave me an imitation persian lamb coat. My Dad was ecstatic over it-asked what kind of fur? Jim replys: "I really don't know--I just set a trap under the kitchen sink." To hear their laughter, so long absent from my ears, brings me joy to know we were all happy.

Just last year, I came across a tape of an Aunt who was visiting from England.She sang "After the Ball"-I sent it to her children in England. They phoned me (A first) to tell me what joy they had listening to it.

You would do no harm--and as you said - it's a privilege.

Subject: RE: BS: Supporting a Cancer-Battling Associate
From: Sorcha
Date: 15 Aug 07 - 11:46 PM

My sister (ex sister? Is that allowed?) made a video of our mom's last Christmas. She never bothered to send me a copy. No, that isn't why I consider her an Ex Sister. I wish I had one, but it would do no good at all to ask her for it.

Subject: RE: BS: Supporting a Cancer-Battling Associate
From: katlaughing
Date: 16 Aug 07 - 12:31 AM

I think it would be easier for a *friend* who isn't too close, as ClaireBear said, than those closest, to record her family history or singing, whatever she feels up to. I would find it too emotional and energy-sapping to have family trying to get anything like that done if I were close to passing over, unless I were a very old lady and ready to get on with it!:-)

Subject: RE: BS: Supporting a Cancer-Battling Associate
From: wysiwyg
Date: 17 Oct 07 - 01:35 PM

"Update"

I don't have any recent news on my little honey, but I carry her in my heart to all the new diocesan things I go to, and so of course people are always asking me how she's doing after I bring her name up in prayer... instead of being able to tell them, since I have no news, what I get is a deep, intimate sense of how they see her, what they love about her, how they have been touched by her.... which I then try to translate somehow into a supportive email to her since I don't know whether they'll drop her a note, or not. (I'm going to tuck a few blank cards in my purse so they can jot a quick item down for me to send along.)

And what I am coming to see is that you just have to be willing to feel all the pain of the potential loss, and all the joy of having had the privilege of loving someone before they go, to be willing to be dragged along on their amazing journey without being too heavy to come along.

You have to know it will hurt when you leave your heart open enough so that it can also feel the joyful side of that journey.

I have a new way of knowing and respecting those of my Mudcat pals who have learned that ahead of me.

~Susan

Subject: RE: BS: Supporting a Cancer-Battling Associate
From: GUEST, Ebbie
Date: 17 Oct 07 - 07:29 PM

Somehow it seems pertinent to add this:

When friends and family became aware that my brother had been diagnosed with Stage 4 non-Hodgkins, they changed. My brother said that at first he couldn't figure it out, couldn't put his finger on it.

Then it hit him, he said: They were acting as though he were facing something that they never would.

He was a little rueful about it but it made him laugh too.

Subject: RE: BS: Supporting a Cancer-Battling Associate
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Oct 07 - 09:16 PM

There's a woman at work, one of the Supervisors, who is undergoing radiation therapy for breast cancer right now. Two weeks before the surgery (it was contained and in an early stage) her mother-in-law had died; this past June her mother had died.

She's had a really lousy year, but she told us that if we didn't keep "harassing" her as we have always done she'd drop right over the edge. And so we do. She's out this week; it's the "high point" of the radiation therapy and she said that the area "looks like cooked meat" but she also knows that from now on the dosage goes down until it's over.

In the meantime, we just let her know we care -- with a book truck professionally painted pink and currently in use for a breast cancer awareness display and pink wristbands (except that mine broke when I tried to put it on). And of course we all yell at her, as requested.

Subject: RE: BS: Supporting a Cancer-Battling Associate
From: wysiwyg
Date: 17 Oct 07 - 09:31 PM

I DID get an update when I sent Leslie my "report" on all the praying that had been going on for her:

".... We go tomorrow for my first follow-up appointment since the beginning of my chemo. I feel so incredibly well, physically, that I know it's due to all the prayers and good thoughts. Now about those lesions [on the liver]- I just hope they're shrinking or at least not growing! But it's early in the chemo, so we may need more time.

Love, Leslie

==========

Last night I ignored an urge to bring Leslie more strongly before a group. So now I'm praying to be more obedient to those nudges. And I sent her update to just about all the praying people I know.

And Eb-- They were acting as though he were facing something that they never would. Here in this rural community, you might be comforted to know, the tendency is to act like it's just this person's turn, or that one's, to be sick or widowed or have a housefire, or total their car on a deer, or whatever. A sympathy born more of empathy. I think. Masters from whom I'm trying to learn.

~Susan

Subject: RE: BS: Supporting a Cancer-Battling Associate
From: Black Diamond
Date: 18 Oct 07 - 07:34 AM

Hi Susan its me Lin (Groundhog Lin)
My Mum was dead to me years before she died - she had Alzheimers Disease. It was heartbreaking to visit her, to be asked by her, who are you? your own Mum.
It was a little time ago, and I dindt know about recording things, but someone suggested that I make up a scrap book of personal things, what I knew about her history, her wedding photos, holiday photos, her children, major events in her life etc. so that she could have it in the hospital/home and nursing staff just might see it and regard her as a person, rather than just a number. I did make it up, but she died before it was needed. BUT I still look at it, and think fondly of the time when she WAS my Mum. It has been a huge source of comfort.
So I would support wholeheartedly the kind of recording that has been mentioned, either for you or for her family at a future time.
Love and hugs Lin

Subject: RE: BS: Supporting a Cancer-Battling Associate
From: Bobert
Date: 18 Oct 07 - 08:42 AM

Well, sniff, yeah, this ain't a real fun topic but one that I sadly casn relate to... As many of you know from my past postings I lost my late waif, Judy, to breast cancer 11 years ago... She had "inflamatory breast cancer" so she had a basic understanding that she probably wouldn't make the 5 years survivors list...But she also knew that every day that she was with us was one more day of being a cancer survivor...

Now I'm not sure this will help, WYSusie, but one night I was out behind the veggie garden playing my guitar so as not impose on her sleeping time... Well, she woke up and found me there and sat down next to me and she started talkling about her childhood and next thing you know I was turning her stories into verse and those verses were being turned into a song...

In less than a half an hour the two of us had put together a pretty good song which we entitled "Youngstown Night" which we recorded on my reel to reel that very night... Well, what happened from there is pure magic and proof positive that God does indeed work in mysterious ways... "Youngstown Night" became her "Project" as she/we went about pu8tting together a night littler cassette package with 5 minute casettes (never knew they existed), cover art, etc... Over the next several weeks she/we made over 100 copies that were sent out to her relatives and our friends...

The "Project" was very meaningful for her and I know was just the kind of blessing that she so very needed... She died about 4 months after that wonderous night when "Younstown Night" was born but to this very day I am truely thankfull for "Youngstown Night" because it providing some level of meaning and accomplishment in Judy's last few months...

I'm not sure this helps but I would think this lady would love to have something like a "Project" in her ***life*** and seeing as that she is a musican, what better a project???

Hope this helps...

Bobert

p.s. BTW, if anyone would like the words to "Youngstown Night", PM and I'll mail you a copy of the cassette cover... Sorry, the cassettes are all gone and I haven't yet gotten my recording gear set up but anyone wanting a copy of the recorded song itself might have to wait awile...

Subject: RE: BS: Supporting a Cancer-Battling Associate
From: wysiwyg
Date: 18 Oct 07 - 09:58 AM

Thanks, dear friends. DEAR friends.

I did ask Leslie when I can come see her, and she replied that she'd already been thinking of coming over the mountain to see US. I think that indicates she's not ready for her project, yet; but I am watching for the time to slide it out of my mouth and not worrying about it.

~Susan

Subject: RE: BS: Supporting a Cancer-Battling Associate
From: wysiwyg
Date: 06 Nov 07 - 08:54 AM

Leslie's doing GREAT!

"Last week the weather was excellent for trick or treating, and the kids had a ball. So did I – I sat outside with my bowls of candy (yes, bowls – don't know how many pounds of the goodies), and handed out candy to trick or treaters that probably totaled over 200.

"I am currently on a new chemo regimen – at our visit to [medical center] on October 18, our doctor felt that the other chemo might not be as effective as he'd hoped, as it appeared that one of the lesions was slightly bigger. However, what we're not sure about is if that growth occurred prior to the beginning of chemo or continued after it began – we had 50 days from the original CT scan in July to the date that my chemo began. Our oncologist also checked my CA-125 and CEA levels, and the news was very good. Both markers have plummeted since July, and he seemed to think that this was probably a better indicator of my progress than the CT scans. I no longer have any sensitivity to cold (a side effect of the first chemo), but now I have a bad rash – looks like acne with very, very dry skin! This is okay, though, since there is a correlation between the rash and tumor response. Apparently, most people who get the rash have a good response to the chemo, so I don't mind if I break out!

"[husband] and I are in the process of making an appointment at one more center for another opinion – there are so many new therapies and options out there, and we want to make sure we're covering all our bases. Therefore, we'll be heading to UPMC in Pittsburgh sometime in the near future.

"Since my last update, I have continued to feel really well. My energy and strength have continued to improve, and I'm enjoying my work for my seminary classes, as well as my work with our churches...."

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: Supporting a Cancer-Battling Associate
From: maeve
Date: 06 Nov 07 - 09:23 AM

Susan- A close friend who has just finished the chemo end of treatment is preparing for radiation. Her doctors have directed her to slather on aloe beginning now, prior to the start of the treatment, to reduce burning. Your friend may wish to ask her doctors about it.

maeve

Subject: RE: BS: Supporting a Cancer-Battling Associate
From: wysiwyg
Date: 16 Feb 09 - 11:26 AM

After a valiant battle conducted with grace and strength-- hold on folks-- during which she has completed her seminary and internship studies while undergoing treatment, our dear friend will be ordained to the priesthood Saturday morning.

She has not been having a good month. The unlikely remission she won seems to be coming to a crisis point, which we hope will turn toward the positive.

Just a few short weeks ago she was getting test results showing no cancer at all. But the doctors, rightly respecting that Stage Four is Stage Four, went ahead with continued planned treatments. One of those treatments went "a bit wrong" last week, so we hope she has the strength to take her place among her colleagues, as planned, this weekend.

Your prayers, good thoughts, and thanksgivings will be most welcome as we who are working on this Big Event surround her and the event with peace, calm, and orderly anticipation.

~Susan

Subject: RE: BS: Supporting a Cancer-Battling Associate
From: wysiwyg
Date: 04 Apr 09 - 11:59 PM

Ordained, but treatments starting to fail. The hard time is coming.

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: Supporting a Cancer-Battling Associate
From: Neil D
Date: 05 Apr 09 - 12:31 AM

My Dad was a beautiful guitar player. I loved to listen to him play. It never occurred to me that one day he wouldn't be around anymore. I wish sometimes that I had thought to record him, I would love to hear him play again. There are grandchildren, and great-grandchildren that have never heard him play. It would have been so nice to be able to let them hear him play and not just hear us say how great he was. Hoping that things go better for your friend, but I think it is a great idea. That's just my personal opinion though.

                               Christina( Neil's wife)

Subject: RE: BS: Supporting a Cancer-Battling Associate
From: Peace
Date: 05 Apr 09 - 01:32 AM

My younger sister died a week ago. I have been seeking pics,tales, etc., of her from friends we had in common. Working on a song for her now. Sometimes memories are all we'll have left, but when we HAVE the chance to 'record' things, it's wise to do it. She leaves four sons, and when I can get the 'stuff' together, I will make sure the 'boys' each get a copy of what I get. I kept a tobacco pouch she made me from a suede jacket of mine she 'borrowed for a few days' back in 1968; one of her poems--about six pages long, and a shot of her with our grandfather. People die. Their memories shouldn't.

Tape your friend, record her, and involve her in the collecting.

BM

Subject: RE: BS: Supporting a Cancer-Battling Associate
From: wysiwyg
Date: 05 Apr 09 - 06:48 AM

Several other people have been appointed to various roles surrounding this woman-- people who also know her well and are geographically closer. A few weeks ago, I gave her husband a spare MP3 player/recorder so she would have good things to absorb her mind during treatments, the after-treatment recuperation time, and the long drives back and forth.

Last night I also let one of these folks know that she has that recorder, and to let me know when it makes sense to go record her, myself. I can't stress enough how perfect this closer contact is to discern when that time has come, so that I will go at the needful time and not impelled prematurely by my own sadness and urgency.... it's not at all a shifting away of the role I have known I would play, but a sorting-out of all the people who will be able to serve her best in a myriad of ways. ;~) We should all be so lucky when our own time comes.


Thank you all, so much, for your encouragement and your stories. As I have written before, elsewhere, we human beans really only take turns bearing these things. I'm so sorry any of you have had to bear them, but I give thanks for every one of you who stayed close when your dear ones took their turns suffering, and suffered with them.

~Susan

Subject: RE: BS: Supporting a Cancer-Battling Associate
From: Azizi
Date: 05 Apr 09 - 03:42 PM

My condolences, Bruce.

Sometimes memories of our loved ones are the only things that we have when they pass on. And we are blessed if those memories are mostly good ones.

Subject: RE: BS: Supporting a Cancer-Battling Associate
From: wysiwyg
Date: 06 May 09 - 09:56 AM

The Reverend Leslie K. Doyle has entered God's nearer presence with family close by, and with blessings pouring out of her until the last moment.

Those of you who pray are invited to offer ongoing prayer for her three children (middle and highschool aged) Sarah, Leah, and Joel; for her husband Gary; and for her parents.

~Susan

PS, would a clone please add UPDATE to the thread title?

Subject: RE: BS: Supporting a Cancer-Battling Associate
From: Donuel
Date: 06 May 09 - 10:21 AM

I'm so sorry Bruce. She will live on in your song. "her song".

Subject: RE: OBIT-Support a Cancer-Battling Associate -May 2009
From: jeffp
Date: 06 May 09 - 12:08 PM

My sympathies, Susan. I understand what her family has gone through and continues to experience. It sounds like they helped her have a full life in the too-short time she was given. I wish them the best that life can offer.

Subject: RE: OBIT-Support a Cancer-Battling Associate -May 2009
From: Catherine Jayne
Date: 06 May 09 - 12:14 PM

Sorry to hear of her passing. I'll keep her family and children in my thoughts.

Khatt

Subject: RE: OBIT: Support a Cancer-Battling Associate - May 09
From: wysiwyg
Date: 06 May 09 - 12:46 PM

Thanks. It turned out that she and her family were so far ahead of me that I never did go record-- instead, I gave them their own MP3 recorder so they could use it as they wished.

The Bishop had assigned another priest to help him be her family's personal pastoral care people, and that leaves her parishes to our mercies for as much positivity as we can muster. It is quite a lot, actually, as Greg had worked with her and as I'd had the privilege of worshipping with her two parishes several times in recent weeks, including witnessing Leslie's powerful last sermon.

I may write about all that sometime, but... I've been MudBurnt often enough that I will probably not do it here.... it's too close to the proseltytizing line, everything I saw.... this is what "witnessing" really means, saying what you have seen, you know.... but I'll share when I am ready to edit together the many notes I've taken, via email, if asked via PM.

The central theme is that Leslie was just a human bean, a pretty average one as a matter of fact, who just happened to be willing to accept an invitation and who followed the directions to the party.

~Susan

Subject: RE: OBIT: Support a Cancer-Battling Associate - May 09
From: wysiwyg
Date: 07 May 09 - 09:14 AM

I dunno where else to put this, but I'm gonna be as busy as an armless paper-hanger over the next 4-5 days. Gods of Slack (friends, clones, prayer-chain folks), please cut me a big ole bunch!

~S~

Subject: RE: OBIT: Support a Cancer-Battling Associate - May 09
From: wysiwyg
Date: 10 May 09 - 06:54 AM

At last night's Saturday Night Service, at which Leslie had preached and jammed with The Good News-Goodtime Band on a number of occasions, last night we did songs with her in mind. They presented various aspects of her perspective on the Gospels, and one was a spiritual I have posted here elsewhere, "Now We Take This Feeble Body," as an offertory of farewell.

In keeping with her jam style-- she was a master's level classical music performer and teacher able to pick up and improvise on any chord progression with no paper, never having heard a lick of the tune-- that offertory was scribbled in pencil and arranged in about 2 minutes before the service, with verses just for Leslie's witness. I never sang that way before. It felt good. It felt right.


Our parish will probably put recordings of that service, her ordination service, and her funeral service up on our website soon. We have lots of bandwidth going unused and she did a great field ed stint with us not too long ago-- it's one thing we can do for her and for our diocesan family who is so sorehearted to lose her so soon.

At the "meeting" Hardi led the night she died, for her parishes, many memories of "regular life with Leslie" were shared around a big ole table. Lots of tears, grins, laughter, hugs.... a couple of the stories people told were of Leslie's younger adulthood, before her kids came along. I suggested that in the days ahead, her kids were going to really appreciate a chance to hear those stories. Lots of them. I will probably be named to go worship with these folks periodically, and I'll take along a trusty recorder to catch a few stories to put in our website, too, so the kids and her friends and family can always hear the love of her that her parish family expresses so well, and see her as they saw her grow into what would become her vocation.

"Calling hours" tonight are gonna be something, I know that much. She'd been preparing people for months, we all now realize, and she has probably laid the foundation for a big, happy, noisy community celebration.

~Susan

Subject: RE: OBIT: Support a Cancer-Battling Associate - May 09
From: maeve
Date: 10 May 09 - 02:37 PM

I'm thinking of you Susan, and the family and friends who are missing Leslie and rejoicing for her life.

maeve

Subject: RE: OBIT: Support a Cancer-Battling Associate - May 09
From: wysiwyg
Date: 10 May 09 - 02:50 PM

That's just the right touch, sweetie, as usual form you-- thanks so much.

What a crazy but blessed life, to stand close enough to feel the blessings wash over us and still, in the same moment, be doing our "work." Typing here, checking the recording from last night so I can empty the recorder for this evening just in case and for sure, for tomorrow. Tears rolling with a big ole sloppy grin on my face. While well-fed Hardi naps off the morning and stores energy for the evening.

I hope as much for all approaching the "hurt locker" of loss.

~Susan

Subject: RE: OBIT: Leslie Doyle's Funeral
From: wysiwyg
Date: 12 May 09 - 12:10 PM

Well, we laid Leslie to rest yesterday.

For those who knew Leslie, and were not able to be with us all yesterday, I want to let you know that there should be audio and video recordings of the service available soon, as well as a copy of the words that were said. These included both personal thoughts and a sermon that not only honored Leslie's ministry, but lifted up the themes she herself had preached in her last sermon (Easter).

The Bishop's sermon, which opened with references to Lazarus and Jesus' human tears at the passing of his friend, also touched upon the stream of leadership and ministry that have been so evident in the parishes; this encouraged the current non-ordained leaders arising from the membership. It's all circular-- that's the leadership that will, as time goes on, support the surviving family who will continue to have a place in that church.

The preceding bishop who had been part of beginning Leslie's process to ordination drove himself, alone, 7-1/2 hours, to be there and take part in the liturgy. Seminary faculty leadership, seminarian-friends (now also ordained), and diocesan school friends, ditto. Representatives from the diocesan Commission on Ministry, ditto. Reps of other groups, ditto....

When I say "representatives," I mean that the among all the organizations where she had been loved, and thousands of people who had wanted to be there-- knowing the size of available seating-- spontaneously (and with no coordination I know of) chose to send reps to yield as much space as possible to local friends (who came in droves). The reception provided an opportunity for each "rep" to convey their love and concern to the family.

From the overflow seating in the parish hall, about 150 of us had a perfect three-HDTV video feed that made the "overflow" look and feel just like being a few pews farther back than the back pew of the main church. The Bishop came and spoke with us before the service to explain how communion would be handled, and we all had prayer books and hymnals to be fully part of the service. The music was wonderful-- all chosen from Leslie's favorite texts and melodies. Copies of the recent cover story on Leslie (and kleenex) were set out to take....

The overflow area consisted of the same mix of friends, community, and clergy (incl some of the parishes' former priests) that filled the main church. Leslie's pictures occupied and covered the corners where the room's usual furniture had been squirreled away.

Leslie's remains "pro-CESSsed" from the service, followed by about a hundred cars, to Brookland. There are a couple of ways to get there; this was a new-to-us route that passed by pretty sights along a gently-rolling road-- not the hillier route that would have jostled passengers. I believe Leslie's family were in the lead car, setting the slow pace that gave them time to get ready for the next part of what would happen.

The graveside service was as lovely and gracious as can be imagined, in the near-mountaintop setting Leslie (and preceding clergy) saw weekly, when arriving to conduct services. (Another ordained friend of ours is reposed there as well, and our own early decision to take a plot there only makes more and more sense as time goes on.) It was sunny and warm. Lilacs are open now, scenting the breezes.


I think it speaks to how well people experienced the service that thoughts of the future, tears, love, and laughter continued to flow for several hours in and around the edges of the reception that followed back at the church where the service had been held. This included family; it's not always the case that each family member find a way to open their "grief channel" before everyone goes home, but it was clear that this had occurred for each of them.


I'll write about the rest separately, as I indicated above.

~Susan

Subject: RE: OBIT: Support a Cancer-Battling Associate - May 09
From: wysiwyg
Date: 13 May 09 - 12:55 PM

Now we're on to catch-up-on-dishes-and-laundry (while praying reflectively about what we just Saw and Did).... before (hopefully) the next Big Thing (several are pending).... so I renew this:

07 May 09 - 09:14 AM

I dunno where else to put this, but I'm gonna be as busy as an armless paper-hanger over the next 4-5 days. Gods of Slack (friends, clones, prayer-chain folks), please cut me a big ole bunch!

~S~

Subject: RE: OBIT: Support a Cancer-Battling Associate - May 09
From: wysiwyg
Date: 25 May 09 - 11:23 AM

For the information of people who knew Leslie, the funeral recording turned out well enough to work on it so I have started breaking it up into smaller files, enhancing the volume on the too-soft portions (and journaling my reflections as I work on it for those who have requested those). The Bishop's sermon is all clipped out and ready to post as-is at the St. Paul's website. It will be a pilot project to see how sound files work on the website-- we'll have a tech helper on that. Leslie's ordination service will go up on the site the same way-- that one is all processed and ready to go up, if it all fits.

~Susan

Subject: RE: OBIT: Support a Cancer-Battling Associate - May 09
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 25 May 09 - 11:41 AM

Susan Dear,

I am so sorry I missed this thread. Wrapping you in hug (you've given me so many). Hoping it strengthens you and that you can carry it back to the family of Lesley.

Thank you letting me be part of everwidening circles of care.

Subject: RE: OBIT: Support a Cancer-Battling Associate - May 09
From: wysiwyg
Date: 25 May 09 - 12:47 PM

What a stunningly lovely thing to say, sweetie.

An upcoming challenge (theirs, not mine), is-- where the heck is her family going to worship? In the parish they've been a big part of for many years, most likely, that raised Leslie into her vocation and where they raised their kids. How.....? How.... is that going to be....? Leslie was priest there. Her kids served as acolytes, at the altar, with their mom. How.....? I just can't wrap my head around it. How her family and her parish family will move forward, how they will savor the memories without being embroiled in endless mutual condolences-- how can they not, and how could anyone, I ask myself. Ah well, it's not mine to feel or decide, but NOW is the part where I feel helpless. I think "How....?" is a prayer.... and from here-- during this time we "helpers" need to stand back to let them all do for themselves what they need to do next-- really, all I can do is pray for their peace, and that they may all be surrounded by a love greater, wiser, more wondrous than their own.

Oh, and cards. This is why people send cards. Must get cards.

~Susan