BS: Secret Santa Messages '07-Santas, Come Play!

Subject: RE: BS: Secret Santa Messages '07-Santas, Come Play!
From: Anne Lister
Date: 20 Oct 07 - 07:00 PM

My Santa appears to have gone feral. What should I do?

a distressed
Tabster

Subject: RE: BS: Secret Santa Messages '07-Santas, Come Play!
From: GUEST,Animaterra's Yet Another Secret Santa Sort!
Date: 20 Oct 07 - 07:19 PM

Ms. Terra, you must read back . . . back . . . back . . . to October 17 at 10:19pm and there you will find your next query from your querulous Santa . . . . you're getting sleepy . . . your finger hits the "scroll down" button . . . you find the post . . . you shriek
Naked???

YASSS!

Subject: RE: BS: Secret Santa Messages '07-Santas, Come Pla
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Oct 07 - 07:20 PM

Do what I do, Tabster: have she, he, or it captured and euthanized.

Subject: RE: BS: Secret Santa Messages '07-Santas, Come Play!
From: Anne Lister
Date: 20 Oct 07 - 07:43 PM

Rapaire, but wouldn't that mean I'll lose out on the presents?

Can't I have my old Santa back from last year, please?

*sniff*

Subject: RE: BS: Secret Santa Messages '07-Santas, Come Pla
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Oct 07 - 07:49 PM

Oh, you do it AFTER the presents come. No sense in biting off the hand, etc.

Subject: RE: BS: Secret Santa Messages '07-Santas, Come Play!
From: Dave'sWife
Date: 20 Oct 07 - 08:17 PM

Dear Silenus Charm , Research Elf:

Now that I have told you all about me, can you give me some hints at to your identity or my Santa's ID? Will he be dropping me any postcards with hints or just sending a pressie sometime before Xmas?

Subject: RE: BS: Secret Santa Messages '07-Santas, Come Play!
From: GUEST,Helen's Santy
Date: 20 Oct 07 - 10:38 PM

Sure 'nuff. You do have a Santy. And you play A Celtic harp! Now how long have you been doing that? Are you a beginner, or an ol' pro?   Would you believe that old Santa has a few Celtic harps here in his shop! And stacks and stacks of music for them,.   Yep! I even play around on those harps now and then. If I'd practice a little more, I'd be able to play a lot better. But Santa just has too many musical toys here in the shop to devote enough time to any one of them. Nice talkin' with you, Helen.

Subject: RE: BS: Secret Santa Messages '07-Santas, Come Pla
From: Helen
Date: 21 Oct 07 - 12:35 AM

Hi again Santy,

In answer to your question: "If I'd practice a little more, I'd be able to play a lot better".

I've had one Celtic harp or another since 1980 or so, but I need to learn to play it better. I've only had one teacher for a short time, over a decade ago, and the rest of the time - well I mostly look at the harp and wonder how to play it well. Going to music sessions took me to the level of being able to play along using chords, but I haven't mastered the art of melody and accompaniment. There are a few songs I can stumble through, haltingly, and that's it.

It's very nice to know that there is a harp connection with my Secret Santy.

Helen

Subject: RE: BS: Secret Santa Messages '07-Santas, Come Play!
From: GUEST,Dulcimer42's SS
Date: 21 Oct 07 - 01:27 AM

Hullo? Is anybody there. I'm reasonably certain that there is somebody here.

Subject: RE: BS: Secret Santa Messages '07-Santas, Come Pla
From: GUEST,Tabster's Secret Santa
Date: 21 Oct 07 - 09:02 AM

What do you mean, "feral"? I've been out on the moors scaring up moorhens and in the fields collecting field mice just to make your present presentable. Good Golly Miss Molly, "feral" I'm called now! Lass, 'tis coal and sticks ye'll be gettin' in yer shoes if ye keep up like that. Feral, indeed.

Humph.

Feral.

Humph.

Feral.

Well, I never in all my born days....

Subject: RE: BS: Secret Santa Messages '07-Santas, Come Play!
From: AllisonA(Animaterra)
Date: 21 Oct 07 - 10:00 AM

Eeek! How could I have missed such a... pointed query??

I live in northern climes, so for much of the year I am mostly clothed. When that happens, I tend towards a smallish woman's size on top. I was once told I had the physique of a 13-year old boy... I'm not sure if it was meant as a compliment? Suffice it to say I am endowed in some ways, but not others...

How's that for a reply?

Subject: RE: BS: Secret Santa Messages '07-Santas, Come Play!
From: GUEST,Silenus Charm, Dave'sWife's SS's CRE
Date: 21 Oct 07 - 11:11 AM

Dear Dave'sWife,

Santa has been rather preoccupied of late, what with certain recent labour concerns, but he will find the time drop you a note in a week or two. The regular post here at the North Pole is irregular at best, but Santa plans to be abroad where he can drop your note in a standard letterbox -- or perhaps two....

Yours in anticipation,
Silenus Charm, C.R.E. (Crack Research Elf)

Subject: RE: BS: Secret Santa Messages '07-Santas, Come Pla
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Oct 07 - 11:34 AM

I have the heart of a little boy, myself. I keep it on my desk in a jar of formaldehyde.

Subject: RE: BS: Secret Santa Messages '07-Santas, Come Play!
From: Anne Lister
Date: 21 Oct 07 - 11:38 AM

Dear SS
You see, it's the moorhens, mice, sticks and stones that worry me. And the rather fist-shaking tone of message. I'm a gentle soul, not given to confrontations, and I've had a remarkably well-behaved year in which I've done my best to help others and keep my temper at all times, so I wasn't expecting multi-lingual suggestions that I've been mistreating kookaburras with alcohol and so on.
I don't suppose we've ever met so you only have my word for this, I know, but send an elf or a reindeer along at any time and they can check out my credentials. I'm just not used to a Santa who seems to be grumpy before the festive season even starts. Can I make you a nice cup of tea, perhaps, and offer you one of my home-made mince pies? I used only the very best cooking brandy in the mincemeat...

Tabster

Subject: RE: BS: Secret Santa Messages '07-Santas, Come Play!
From: GUEST,Mrzzy's MUDCAT
Date: 21 Oct 07 - 11:52 AM

That was, if you recall, Mrzzy's Unknown Distinguished Carrier of Airborne ...um.....Treasures. Or Temptations.
The team here are getting a little uneasy at the prolonged silence. The elves have reminded me that the "default" setting for a sack of gifts tends to be the sort of contents that people re-wrap to give to other people, rather than items to treasure, and so it would be in your best interests to come out from hiding and at least wave at your Santa.
Unless you truly have something to conceal? The surveillance team have found nothing as yet, but they can be very thorough.
Honesty is always the best policy.
Ho, ho, ho. Back to the grotto I go. I'd just feel so much better if I knew you were out and about.
SS/MUDCAT

Subject: RE: BS: Secret Santa Messages '07-Santas, Come Pla
From: GUEST,Tabster's Secret Santa
Date: 21 Oct 07 - 06:24 PM

Look. I got your place bugged, ya know. There are elves every place you look, only you can't see 'em. You stepped on poor old Clodhop yestereve, only we can't hold it against you since Cloddy was drunk on some of your vanilla extract (again) and so it was his own fault. Besides, it probably did him some good since he was singing "Eleanor Rigby" again and off-key as usual, which wouldn't be so bad if he knew any of the words besides "Eleanor Rigby." Drives the other elves over the edge, it does. So we marked that up in the "Good Girl" column of Tabster's Big Fat Christmas Book O' Black Marks and removed one of the sticks from the pile of presents.

And you might be a gentle soul, and good on ya for it. But I got problems up here in the Snowy North, what with the Russians planting a flag on the sea floor and handing me an eviction notice, the General Strike called by Elves and Labourers International Union of Labourers and Elves that went on from February to August, and, of course, Canada trying to give me Equalisation Payments. The reindeer got the scours back around the first of the month (you ever drench a reindeer?) and Blitzen ran off with a caribou gang called "Hell's Hornys." Not to mention the cost of raw materials going up up up because of the cost of diesel.

And then there are the letters from the kids: "Santa, gimme a grenade launcher" "Santa, I want Britney Spears for Christmas" "Santa, I think you're a big fat fake and bring me a new bicycle if you're not." Come on, you little greedheads! You ever learn to say "Please"? The only letter I'm even CONSIDERING filling was from little Timmy O'Brien who wrote and asked, "Couldn't you make Paris Hilton disappear?" Right now, everybody else is going to get seaweed in their socks come Christmas morning.

But don't worry about it...YOUR gifts will be on the way long before that.

Sincerely yours,
One Very, Very, Very Harassed Santa

Subject: RE: BS: Secret Santa Messages '07-Santas, Come Play!
From: Mrs Cobble
Date: 21 Oct 07 - 07:19 PM

Hi Santa

I'm always either confused or in cloud cuckoo land so yes I'm going to have a confusing Santa time. :-)

Nice to hear from you.

Hope your elves are taking good care of you.


ho ho ho

Mrs C

Subject: RE: BS: Secret Santa Messages '07-Santas, Come Play!
From: dulcimer42
Date: 21 Oct 07 - 09:23 PM

Oh m'gosh! There really is a Santa Clause for me!! I'm so excited! I know it's more blessed to give than to receive, and I'm really looking forward to giving to "my" recipient... BUT, I just LOVE receiving surprises too!! OH, I'm jumping up and down, I'm just so excited!!!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Secret Santa Messages '07-Santas, Come Play!
From: dulcimer42
Date: 21 Oct 07 - 09:33 PM

Um.... excuse me. You just caught me at a weak moment. I've settled down now.   I'm usually more reserved than that.

Nice to meet you Mr (Mrs? Ms?) Claus.

I'd love to get to know you better.
Kin you tell me a wee bit about yourself....
Pretty please....??

Subject: RE: BS: Secret Santa Messages '07-Santas, Come Play!
From: dulcimer42
Date: 22 Oct 07 - 08:18 AM

(singing) O Where, O Where has my Santa gone? O where o where can she be? la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la... o where o where can she be?

Subject: RE: BS: Secret Santa Messages '07-Santas, Come Play!
From: Snuffy
Date: 22 Oct 07 - 09:59 AM

Hello Santa, my deer.

Your card was waiting for me on my return from the colder regions. How clever of you to arrange to have the postmark obscured by the barcode! The date is legible but not the location.

As you are apparently a regular visitor to the Highlands, perhaps I might find your name among the participants (or dropouts) at the McMudgather. You may have been much closer to me this week than either you or I imagined at the time.

Subject: RE: BS: Secret Santa Messages '07-Santas, Come Play!
From: Megan L
Date: 22 Oct 07 - 10:40 AM

Dear Santa

I am home now. I have bin weel behaved. I wis even nice tae auld folk and animals Dauvitt MacKenzie and Monty you personally can decide the order. And Manitas or Limpit will be able to say they never say me skelp anyone honest injuns.

Thank you santa for the wee pressies I already hiv cards in mind fur the peedie bits and the fish can swim quite happily across my fridge as long as they don't drink the Brenavin :)

Subject: RE: BS: Secret Santa Messages '07-Santas, Come Play!
From: ClaireBear
Date: 22 Oct 07 - 01:19 PM

Santa, this is ClaireBear. In case you did not notice, I was not so very good last week, but to make up for it I was extremely good this past weekend. I even helped the rector's wife get her house ready for a party. Of course, I had to neglect my own to do it, but surely there's virtue to be found in that somehow?

I am certainly looking forward to Christmas this year! Is there anything else that you would like to know about me, beyond what I posted in the hints?

Subject: RE: BS: Secret Santa Messages '07-Santas, Come Play!
From: GUEST,Partridge's Very Relieved SS
Date: 22 Oct 07 - 02:07 PM

Thanks for the extra hints. Now I can get something to go with the box of slag, er, stones. (Oh, it's supposed to be a surprise, isn't it?) Now for the next question: Do you like your savory snacks to be hot-type-spicy as well as flavorful?

Subject: RE: BS: Secret Santa Messages '07-Santas, Come Play!
From: dulcimer42
Date: 22 Oct 07 - 03:26 PM

Saaaaaaan - teeeeeeee.....    You asked if I was here. Why won't you talk to me??????

Subject: RE: BS: Secret Santa Messages '07-Santas, Come Pla
From: astro
Date: 22 Oct 07 - 09:30 PM

Chickens!!! Spawn of the devil.....Wring their little necks....


They should be colored puce....


Where are you Santa?
Pulling wish bones?

Astro

Subject: RE: BS: Secret Santa Messages '07-Santas, Come Pla
From: GUEST,An Elf Of Tabster's SS
Date: 22 Oct 07 - 09:44 PM

He's a tyrant. He crushes the worker elves under the iron heel of his fur-topped boots, and I mean that he literally has a iron heel on his boots. We're exploited, and when we unionised he crushed the union by bringing in dwarf scabs and troll strikebreakers. I can't say more because we don't get much chance at the computers. I'll tell you more if I can. Just remember, he's a despot.

Subject: RE: BS: Secret Santa Messages '07-Santas, Come Play!
From: GUEST,Dan Schatz's secret Santa
Date: 22 Oct 07 - 11:47 PM

Dan, Dan, the Schatz Man
What hint for Santa today?
Do you like books, blues, or dirigibles?
You let me know, I pray

Subject: RE: BS: Secret Santa Messages '07-Santas, Come Play!
From: GUEST,Astro and DD's Secret Santa
Date: 23 Oct 07 - 02:20 AM

Fear not! I am still around, been shopping and all that, still have not found any chickens though. It's miserable and wet and windy this morning at the North Pole!

Subject: RE: BS: Secret Santa Messages '07-Santas, Come Play!
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 23 Oct 07 - 03:24 AM

Remember folks, I'm in charge, but I'm not responsible!

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Secret Santa Messages '07-Santas, Come Pla
From: Dave Earl
Date: 23 Oct 07 - 06:09 AM

I got a postcard this morning from Santa (or one of his elve).

Says he/she/they are checking to see if I am being good.

I AM, I AM, Really I AM.

Sorry for shouting but I is ever so excited. Looking forward Christmas already.

Dave

Subject: RE: BS: Secret Santa Messages '07-Santas, Come Pla
From: Dave Earl
Date: 23 Oct 07 - 06:15 AM

And where the postcard came from gave a little bit of a clue as to who might have sent it.

However it shall be our secret,Santa (if I'm right)until such time as you wish to let the (mud)cat out of the bag.

Dave

Subject: RE: BS: Secret Santa Messages '07-Santas, Come Pla
From: GUEST,The Care and Rapaire Santaire
Date: 23 Oct 07 - 06:43 AM

"captured and euthanized"

CAPTURED AND EUTHANIZED?

Wanna rethink that, poop-head?

A sack o' coal is still a possibility. Lots o' li'l 'catters to send these prezzies to ... I woz gonna get ya that house, too ... but yev blown yer chances there, partner!

CaPS

Subject: RE: BS: Secret Santa Messages '07-Santas, Come Play!
From: GUEST,ClaireBears Secret Santa
Date: 23 Oct 07 - 08:01 AM

ClaireBear are you there? Just to let you know that I'm keeping my eye on you - so - you'd better be behaving yourself - well, sometimes anyway.

Subject: RE: BS: Secret Santa Messages '07-Santas, Come Pla
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Oct 07 - 09:14 AM

Just the feral ones, the ones that go wild. Like you're acting like.

Bring on the coal! More heat for the house, lower heating bills! And if lower bills ain't a Christmas prezzie....

Subject: RE: BS: Secret Santa Messages '07-Santas, Come Play!
From: Stephen L. Rich
Date: 23 Oct 07 - 09:43 AM

Actually, I've been pretty rotten this year. So, if I don't have a Santa it's cool. I had a great time being rotten!

Stephen Lee

Subject: RE: BS: Secret Santa Messages '07-Santas, Come Play!
From: GUEST,The Care and Despair Santair
Date: 23 Oct 07 - 10:00 AM

See, just for once ya' let yerself think, "Maybe I'll get an easy one this year." OK - ya weren't brilliant on the hints but, what the heck!, not the worst location. Could land at yer airport, or, in a pinch, down t' th' golf course.

And then ya gotta get all snarky ...

sheesh.

Gonna get me a easy job next year, sexin' turkeys or somethin' ....

CaRS

Subject: RE: BS: Secret Santa Messages '07-Santas, Come Play!
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 23 Oct 07 - 10:55 AM

Joybell

'snot me!


:-P

Subject: RE: BS: Secret Santa Messages '07-Santas, Come Pla
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Oct 07 - 12:28 PM

Okay, Santa. Here are some really serious hints:

...ah...CDs...any that I don't have done by people/groups I like....

There.

Subject: RE: BS: Secret Santa Messages '07-Santas, Come Play!
From: Anne Lister
Date: 23 Oct 07 - 04:51 PM

Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear ... now Rapaire seems to have caused an Incident with HIS Santa (who does sound scary) and I'm getting warned off by an elf.
Look, I just wanted a regular, cheery, rosy cheeked, avuncular Santa who would do the right thing by me. Thassorl. I didn't want to cause any trouble.
If there are any Santas with spare capacity who might like to adopt me as well as their "proper" Santees I can promise you a decent mince pie AND a letter up the chimney.

*sniff*

Subject: RE: BS: Secret Santa Messages '07-Santas, Come Play!
From: dulcimer42
Date: 23 Oct 07 - 10:34 PM

Maybe santa and his elves are busy getting ready for Halloween, and that's why they are so quiet.??

Subject: RE: BS: Secret Santa Messages '07-Santas, Come Pla
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Oct 07 - 10:44 PM

My Santa took what I suggested to you, Tabster, personally. If you're Santa is getting a bit out of hand, slap her/him/it down. By the way, I have a great recipe for homemade mincemeat -- it moved over the Oregon Trail to California from Pike County, Missouri in late 1840s -- if you're interested.

Subject: RE: BS: Secret Santa Messages '07-Santas, Come Pla
From: astro
Date: 24 Oct 07 - 12:49 AM

No bloody chickens, please....!!!

They have beady eyes......and look a bit evil....


Astro

Subject: RE: BS: Secret Santa Messages '07-Santas, Come Pla
From: Desert Dancer
Date: 24 Oct 07 - 12:52 AM

Me, I don't mind chickens, 'cept I think they're dumb. But, they have nice feathers, and they make eggs, and they sort of make good alarm clocks...

~ Becky in Tucson
(will we be entering as a unit next year, after this?!?)

Subject: RE: BS: Secret Santa Messages '07-Santas, Come Pla
From: astro
Date: 24 Oct 07 - 12:53 AM

They make good pie....


Astro in the coop...

Subject: RE: BS: Secret Santa Messages '07-Santa's, Come Play!
From: GUEST,Desert dancer and Astro's SS
Date: 24 Oct 07 - 02:05 AM

No Chickens then, that's a relief:-)

Subject: RE: BS: Secret Santa Messages '07-Santas, Come Play!
From: GUEST,The Secret Presenter of Hollowfox
Date: 24 Oct 07 - 05:21 AM

Well Marywhowasraisedwithcows, you have been a good girl and helped this poor old Santa out with your hints. You may not get that piece of coal this year but hopefully my elves will be able to find something that will put a smile on your face. Keep on being good though, I'll know if you aren't!!

Subject: RE: BS: Secret Santa Messages '07-Santas, Come Play!
From: GUEST,Becca72's silly santa
Date: 24 Oct 07 - 05:29 AM

Now Becca my dear
never you fear
For santa has started the trawl
The object is plain
to fly over Maine
with gifts to hold you in thrall

Subject: RE: BS: Secret Santa Messages '07-Santas, Come Play!
From: GUEST,The Dare and Rapaire Santaire
Date: 24 Oct 07 - 05:36 AM

(((little pointy ears perking up suddenly)))

Slap? Is that like, 'spank'?

We must talk ...








(good grief. nearly signed my name there!)

Subject: RE: BS: Secret Santa Messages '07-Santas, Come Play!
From: Anne Lister
Date: 24 Oct 07 - 07:30 AM

Thanks for the suggestions and support, Rapaire, but I think I'd only be stoking the flames if I started slapping my Santa at this stage. I'm already nervous about what might come my way. On the other hand, mine might cheer up the way yours seems to have done ....

But thanks for the offer of the mincemeat recipe - can you pm me with it? I think I still have stocks of the massive quantity I made last year, which should have matured well. That was a Victorian recipe and was very well received!