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Subject: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward 2008 From: Liz the Squeak Date: 26 Jan 08 - 11:58 AM Well, several of our folks are either under the weather, under the knife or under the table, so I reckoned it was about time to re-open the Recovery Ward. Come on in, take your clothes off, lay back in the nice soft beds or take a seat in one of our brand new, heated, padded PortaPotties which come with gerbil bottle for water, foot rest, book rest, grab bar and selection of reading materials, but more importantly, a mini fridge full of toilet paper. Nurse Ratched is off duty at the moment so it's a good time to get settled. I'll be round shortly with the soothing ointments, cooling balms and green jello. The Doctor is IN. LTS |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward 2008 From: gnu Date: 26 Jan 08 - 12:06 PM Sign me up! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward 2008 From: John MacKenzie Date: 26 Jan 08 - 12:16 PM Do you have a Burns Unit? For those of us still a little delicate from yesterday's jollification. Wee sleekit coo'erin; tim'rous beastie. Oh whit a panic's in thy breastie. Fair fa' yer honest sonsie face Great chieftain o' the pudden Abune them a' ye tak yer place. When chapman billies leave the street, and drouthy neighbours, neighbours meet. 3rd degree I think. G. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward 2008 From: gnu Date: 26 Jan 08 - 12:29 PM 3rd degree I stink? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward 2008 From: Amos Date: 26 Jan 08 - 12:35 PM This should be a permanent wing of the NYCFTTS, Liz. "Hi, my names Amos. I'm a Mudcatter." "Hiiiiiii, AMOS!" "I used to tell myself I didn't have to read the threads, I could quit anytime I wanted to, and it was entirely my choice, whether to post or not. But thanks to this group here, all you good people, I have learned something important. That is just a justification, for a problem I am not willing to face. So now I am, and I am here to say, I have a real problem. I can face that now. And I am going to turn myself over to a higher power, recognizing I need help. I am thinking of choosing Catspaw or perhaps Bobert as my higher power.... What do you think?" "BAAAAAAAD ideaaaaaa, Aaaaamos!" I can see it now....Just wait until Guest-Guest gets up to the mic. "Hi!! My names bleeep and I'm a Mudcat flamer...." A |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward 2008 From: maeve Date: 26 Jan 08 - 02:31 PM It'd be worth it to sign in, Dr. Liz, just for the entertainment promised by the line-up so far. A cooling balm for my forehead, please, and cherry jello for good behavior. Mine, that is. Those three ahead of me are stuck with lime. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward 2008 From: gnu Date: 26 Jan 08 - 02:46 PM Cherries are good for the headache. Jello? Too much sugar. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward 2008 From: Rapparee Date: 26 Jan 08 - 03:28 PM They'll call me yellow jello, tomorrow, I'll eat it tomorrow, it's only a day away. Then Monday they're going to turn me inside out so they can have a good look. I understand it's a new procedure -- the doc reaches waaaaaaaaay in, grabs your lips, and yanks. The procedure is reversed when he's finished. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward 2008 From: gnu Date: 26 Jan 08 - 03:37 PM Mellow yellow jello? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward 2008 From: John MacKenzie Date: 26 Jan 08 - 03:37 PM fellow |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward 2008 From: Don Firth Date: 26 Jan 08 - 03:44 PM Since I'm a mellow fellow, I'm gonna bellow "Mellow Yellow," then eat my yellow jello. . . . Don Firth |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward 2008 From: John MacKenzie Date: 26 Jan 08 - 03:48 PM Hello mellow fellow singing Mellow Yellow while eating yellow jello |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward 2008 From: Don Firth Date: 26 Jan 08 - 03:53 PM Hello! Don Firth |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward 2008 From: MudGuard Date: 26 Jan 08 - 03:58 PM Can I book a bed from Tuesday onwards, please? And make it king size, I am 6'4" ... MudGuard |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward 2008 From: gnu Date: 26 Jan 08 - 03:59 PM What happens in Jello stays in Jello. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward 2008 From: John MacKenzie Date: 26 Jan 08 - 04:02 PM Where's my Highland Park IV? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward 2008 From: Amos Date: 26 Jan 08 - 04:30 PM Don't eat yellow jello, fello. It was green when it left the hospital kitchen... A |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward 2008 From: John MacKenzie Date: 26 Jan 08 - 04:30 PM Or yellow snow |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward 2008 From: Megan L Date: 26 Jan 08 - 04:31 PM SKELP |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward 2008 From: Liz the Squeak Date: 26 Jan 08 - 04:59 PM Sorry Megan, the SKELP ward is three down and one across. I don't do yello jello and the cherry jello is all mine. MudGuard, the extension to your bed is being welded on as I type, it was a bit difficult getting that amount of mattress but I think we've managed. Rapaire - ask the doc if he'll at least buy you dinner after. Gnu - you're in the bed by the door, furthest away from snow shovelling. Amos - This always has been a wing of the NYCFTTS, that's why the doors only open from the outside unless you have the special code. LTS |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward 2008 From: Megan L Date: 26 Jan 08 - 05:02 PM Hell lassie how am i supposed tae find ma way aroon in here oor big hospital his twa ward his n hers |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward 2008 From: Bill D Date: 26 Jan 08 - 05:12 PM Highland Park should never be administered IV! My taste buds would move to the Orkneys in protest. ....and where was this ward 2 weeks ago when I really needed it? Hmmmppff! There I was, delicate areas all sore and tender, and no soothing balms from Nurse Ratched to......oh, wait..maybe it worked out for the best. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward 2008 From: Liz the Squeak Date: 26 Jan 08 - 05:36 PM Oh Bill, if I'd known I'd've been there with the cayenne balm and the digital camera! LTS |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward 2008 From: Rapparee Date: 26 Jan 08 - 06:14 PM Yes, but never before with a daisy! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward 2008 From: Liz the Squeak Date: 26 Jan 08 - 06:18 PM I believe the flower in question was a daffodil. LTS |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward 2008 From: Megan L Date: 26 Jan 08 - 06:20 PM I knew her a long time ago nice lassie so wis her sisters rose and lily |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward 2008 From: Severn Date: 26 Jan 08 - 06:35 PM What insurance do you take? Can I get my Chemo done there? You can drop all the balms. Balms away! 30 Seconds Over Gilead!.... And spare me the Hickory Smoke Cure, like they offered at that place in Smithfield VA. Does your Oncologist do more than tell me who's on call on a given night? What's the graduation rate from these beloved Halls Of IV? "Te-ell me why-y, the IV twines......." Do these folks also recover sofas? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward 2008 From: John MacKenzie Date: 26 Jan 08 - 06:38 PM They only go sofa and no further Sev. But Andy can arrange a tallboy for you. and 3 Chairs Hip hip ............ Got 2 new ones thanks. G |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward 2008 From: Liz the Squeak Date: 26 Jan 08 - 06:46 PM Does your Oncologist lose his flavour on the bedpost overnight? Chintz or Damask? LTS |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward 2008 From: gnu Date: 26 Jan 08 - 06:48 PM Meagn said H E double hockey sticks! Ma!!!!! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward 2008 From: Amos Date: 26 Jan 08 - 06:48 PM Severn, Like a tree skelped in winter storms, you are indomitanle, bloody, but unboughed. And occasionally revealing your inner sap. While the rest of us work a longue day, you go off chaising rainbows. A |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward 2008 From: Rapparee Date: 26 Jan 08 - 10:46 PM Tomorrow I shall be abdominal. Moreover, it's supposed to snow (really!), so I can be the abdominal snowman. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward 2008 From: John MacKenzie Date: 27 Jan 08 - 05:26 AM Why not have a navel display while you are at it? toot toot |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward 2008 From: Megan L Date: 27 Jan 08 - 05:37 AM If you dont take the medecine nurse ratchet will send for granny dom |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward 2008 From: GUEST,Nurse E. Nuff Date: 27 Jan 08 - 07:04 AM Reports for duty, takes a swift look around and.. *walks quickly over to take Megan by the hand. "Now, look here, dearie, I'll show you where that SKELP ward is.. don't fret, you won't be that far away from your friends here.. and don't listen to that Liz, she may be in charge, but she's not responsible". *leads Megan away down the corridor with a warning remark to the rest of the inmates "And you lot, if you feel something running DOWN your legs, wipe it off. If you feel something running UP your legs, relax and enjoy......... ............. it will likely be one of the resident cats come to share a freshly caught mouse with you". |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward 2008 From: jacqui.c Date: 27 Jan 08 - 08:33 AM Got room for me in here? I'm still trying to shake a series of bugs that have been bothering me since Christmas and could do with a few days of complete rest. Just keep that Nurse R away from me - her tender ministrations I DO NOT need. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward 2008 From: Megan L Date: 27 Jan 08 - 09:48 AM Or think you are a freshly caught mouse |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward 2008 From: MudGuard Date: 27 Jan 08 - 09:58 AM Jacqui, come in, but don't take my king-size bed! I'll need it in two days. Andy/MudGuard |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward 2008 From: jacqui.c Date: 27 Jan 08 - 10:17 AM That's OK Andy - at 5'2" I don't need a big bed. I will have a Sleep Number bed if there's one going though. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward 2008 From: John MacKenzie Date: 27 Jan 08 - 10:20 AM They don't let you stay in bed long, after an operation these days Andy. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward 2008 From: GUEST,Nurse E. Nuff Date: 27 Jan 08 - 10:22 AM But he'll stay long in bed. Mouse to mouse resuscitation? Not in my shift! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward 2008 From: Megan L Date: 27 Jan 08 - 10:27 AM Mwahhhhhhhhhhhhhh you canny be everywhere nursie |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward 2008 From: MudGuard Date: 27 Jan 08 - 10:53 AM And I have heard that when a nurse says "Now it's time for us to go to bed", they don't really mean what they say ... (Ok, with some nurses, this lie could be interpreted as merciful ;-)) I really hope I stay long in bed - imagine if I get shorter in bed, then my feet wouldn't touch the floor and I'd have big problems walking ... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward 2008 From: Severn Date: 27 Jan 08 - 01:06 PM Damn! Nurse Intervenous De Milo here just missed yet another vein. If she'd been Charlie Parker's girlfriend, he'd have never lived long enough to become a legend! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward 2008 From: GUEST,Nurse E. Nuff Date: 27 Jan 08 - 04:21 PM Rapaire, if you require further information on the procedure you're about to undergo, I suggest you contact Kendall. He claims to have performed that particular procedure on a bear so should be able to fill you in on the ins and outs! Giok, your Highland Park IV was ready to be administered, but one of the doctors (I think it was the one in charge of Rapaire's procedure or possibly MudGuard's) purloined it and is presently in a sorry state in the staff room. I'm so sorry, but I did manage to get you a navel display instead. Severn, your complaint against nurse De Milo has been duly noted and will be brought to the attention of the management asap. Meanwhile, should you so wish, feel free to call her out by slapping her soundly round the ears with a rubber glove. If you do, prepare yourself for a duel on IVs at dawn which seems to be her preferred duelling method. Liz..!!! That bed for MudGuard needed an extension lengthwise. No need to weld another bed to the side of it as well... Laxatives, anyone? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward 2008 From: GUEST,Dr. Ling Date: 27 Jan 08 - 04:45 PM Hi, I recommend traditional Chinese medicine for everyone! Oh, you wonder who I am? My name is Dr. Ling and I come from China. My full name is Dr. Hea Ling |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward 2008 From: Severn Date: 27 Jan 08 - 04:59 PM Ahhhhh! The Missing Ling, at last! What, pray tell, does the I-Ching recommend other than no Scra-Ching? My best to your wife She-Ling and all your Sib-Lings at home. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward 2008 From: John MacKenzie Date: 27 Jan 08 - 05:03 PM Wee Ling |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward 2008 From: Bat Goddess Date: 27 Jan 08 - 07:33 PM May I please claim some anesthetic to ease the aching of my shoulder due to the atmospheric pressure (ayuh, I can predict the weather) and exercises to enable me to reach up further than the top of my head? I was just checking the description of the hardware embedded in my shoulder -- "For anatomical, stable reconstruction of complex fractures for early mobilisation." "- Avoids soft-tissue irritation due to the rounded shape of plate conforming to the profile of the lateral head of the humerus" "- Prevents subacromial impingement due to a short cranial end to the plate and countersunk screw heads" "- No loosening of screws in relation to the plate" Don't want any subacromial impingement. Cask strength Laphroaig has worked in the past -- might I be allowed a new prescription? Linn |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward 2008 From: Jeri Date: 27 Jan 08 - 07:37 PM No, you don't want subacromial impingement. I got that, and I don't even have any hardware in my arm. Knee, yes, but not arm. I'm Bat Goddess's official taster. You can never be to careful, you know. |
