BS: Movie script ideas

Subject: BS: Movie script ideas
From: Donuel
Date: 04 Apr 08 - 02:06 AM

Here's one: A working woman Lydia Kevechnik with 3 kids a husband and a complaining mother begins to see how similar her kids behavior is with her co workers, mother and husband. After accidently tasting some tainted Chinese pet food which takes her a week to recover, when she returns to work she begins to treat her; work asscociates, mom and husband as she used to treat her kids, and treats her kids with the finnese she used to reserve for work.
Suddenly she is promoted, her mom is less demanding and the kids are more respectful, and her husband takes notice.

There are humorous scenes where you see how work contractors try to pull the same crap on her that her kids would pull, like calling at the last minute to leave a message and later saying that they called for permission.

She doesn't come off like a bitch but rather a disciplined Mom that people can't help but obey her unique near brutal honesty at showing how certain people are just spoiled children at heart.

(side plot) When a magazine interviews Lydia about her recent success in becoming CEO she mentions the pet food incident. By way of a translation error, back in China dozens of big Chinese corporate bosses eat the Pet Food she "recommended"/mentioned and they hilariously...die. (sorry I had to do it)

With her new power, a romantic side plot developes but cleverly side steps the typical pitfalls.

All the ends are wrapped up when she helps the employees buy the company and all the gold bricking sexists get fired, grandma gets a boyfriend and hubby falls in love with his newly retired wife.

( think of it as sort of a thinking woman's 9 to 5 )







The studio says they might be interested if:
Lydia was less "ethnic"
No mention of Chinese tainted goods
The employees didn't buy the company
and if she did end up cheating in an extended naked scene.
oh... also the 3 kids all had to be precocious pubescent girls.

-just kidding, I've never pitched a movie in my life, I just make them up daily like some people do sodoku.

Subject: RE: BS: Movie script ideas
From: frogprince
Date: 04 Apr 08 - 12:31 PM

The movie concept that could make me rich, if I could ever stoop to actually trying to do something with it, wouldn't need any scriptwritting to speak of. It would be a combination porno/decomposing zombie epic, which would never see theatrical release. I used to wonder how it would get marketed, but now the 'net should offer a lot of possibility.

Trouble is, I can't deal with being disowned by my wife and family, and not being able to look in the mirror anymore.

The title really says it all: "Night Of The F**king Dead".

Subject: RE: BS: Movie script ideas
From: Big Al Whittle
Date: 04 Apr 08 - 01:08 PM

The Silence of the Lambs Ice Spectacular

Subject: RE: BS: Movie script ideas
From: GUEST,Jack The Sailor
Date: 04 Apr 08 - 01:59 PM

Hellen Keller The Musical!

Subject: RE: BS: Movie script ideas
From: John on the Sunset Coast
Date: 04 Apr 08 - 02:15 PM

Donuel - The ideas you just offered are so preposterous, and the studio comments are so spot on. I think this really did happen to you.
J(who knows nothing about Hollywood)otSC

Subject: RE: BS: Movie script ideas
From: Bill D
Date: 04 Apr 08 - 02:37 PM

"Abbot & Costello Meet Britney Spears"

Entire movie is trying to explain the "Who's on First" routine to her.

Subject: RE: BS: Movie script ideas
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Apr 08 - 06:26 PM

Is Paris Hilton Burning?

Subject: RE: BS: Movie script ideas
From: Bill D
Date: 04 Apr 08 - 10:12 PM

"Is Paris Hilton Burning?"

someone asked her.."Do you smoke after sex?"

"Dunno", she said, "I never looked."

Subject: RE: BS: Movie script ideas
From: frogprince
Date: 04 Apr 08 - 10:32 PM

It would take a mighty big timber to start a fire from the friction of lifting it in and out of a mine shaft...

Subject: RE: BS: Movie script ideas
From: GUEST,Jack the Sailor
Date: 04 Apr 08 - 10:38 PM

How about ironic titles?

Britney Spears Philosophy

Subject: RE: BS: Movie script ideas
From: Phil Cooper
Date: 04 Apr 08 - 10:55 PM

Many Child Ballads would make great flicks, with the right treatment.

Subject: RE: BS: Movie script ideas
From: frogprince
Date: 04 Apr 08 - 11:05 PM

Seven words: "Lily, Rosemary, and the Jack of Hearts".

Subject: RE: BS: Movie script ideas
From: Donuel
Date: 07 Apr 08 - 07:37 AM

I forgot to mention the studio needed a big car chase, it didn't matter who was chasing who or why. I agreed on the condition that it was a Prius and a Ford Expedition.


John its all fiction. I have seen quite a few movies about pitching movies. John Cusack did a couple. I think one was called Space Pickle.

Subject: RE: BS: Movie script ideas
From: Donuel
Date: 07 Apr 08 - 10:51 AM

Movie: Contrasting Colors

Movie based on a campaign of a black man and a white woman running for President.
The movie hinges upon the white lady using technicalities, annoymous electronic voting and racism in many subtle and insidious ways until her chances are totally dashed when she fires her campaign advisor William Penn who is also publicist for Blackwater and Countrywide Mortgage company. The black candidate delivers the "Sword is mightier than the Penn" speech exposing dark connections to an unpopular war by the lady candidate.

written by annoymous.

Subject: RE: BS: Movie script ideas
From: GUEST,Jack the Sailor
Date: 07 Apr 08 - 11:20 AM

Casting might be tough on that one but I think the studio could get creative How about Oprah Winfrey as the black man and Danny Devito as the white woman?

Sample dialog!

                                           Oprabama

                           Talk to the the hand Himery

                                             Himery Clingon

                            I got yer hand right here!

Subject: RE: BS: Movie script ideas
From: GUEST,Bob Ryszkiewicz
Date: 07 Apr 08 - 11:57 AM

Bill D: If the movie was about Britney explaining "Who's on first" to Abbott & Costello, THAT I would go to see...

On a secret soundstage, somewhere in Hollywood, screenwriters, investors, and the best minds in film are probably working on Blockbusters like these...

"How to Live on a Budget" - The Documentary. Starring The Royal Family. With guest appearances by Groucho Marx and Donald Trump.

"QUICKO" - still in development, as they are negotiating with Michael Moore & Paris Hilton...

"Silence of the Shams" A political psycho thriller. Scary, because it stars real politicians...

"TITANIC II" (alternate title: Son of TITANIC) Not for the faint-hearted. What goes down comes back up again... The story of a boat, that floats; then doesn't...Then mysteriously rises up again and attacks New York. Starring Frank Zappa, George W. Bush(in his first role after leaving office), Charlize Theron, Robert DeNiro, Clint Eastwood, Marlin Perkins, Johnny Carson, Quentin Tarantino, Robert Rodriguez and a cast of thousands. FREE "controlled substances" to be offered in the Popcorn...Strange, Weird, FUN!...

I'm outta here....bob

Subject: RE: BS: Movie script ideas
From: Donuel
Date: 07 Apr 08 - 12:24 PM

All inspirational bob, especially Titanic II

I will see anything Charlize is in.

Casting is critical. One of the best all time casting jobs for real was Princess Bride.


not to be confused with: Bride of Frankenstein, Runaway Bride or My big fat Bride.




(pitch to Sundance Studio)

Libraian Bride: Romp about a Texas librarian who settles for a recovering alcholic coward coke addict who is a member of a famous political family with connections to the CIA and US Senate. She gets knocked up by a bible salesman but marries the rich brat for the sake of her twins to be.
There is a knock down drag out show down academy award winning scene with the librairian and mother in law when the husband's drinking problem is at its worst.

After much opportunistic evil is done to the nation and world, the movie ends with the 94 year librarian on her death whispering, "I shoulda just killed him".

Subject: RE: BS: Movie script ideas
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 08 Apr 08 - 12:30 PM

"Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Scones"

Seems there were some odd goings on in the kitchen.

Of course it would be "Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Scones" in the UK.

Subject: RE: BS: Movie script ideas
From: Donuel
Date: 08 Apr 08 - 01:38 PM

The sophmoric and moronic satire on movie scripts has been Mad Magazine's schtick for decades. Being sophmoric and moronic myself, my ideal career may have been with Mad.
be that as it may...

The Pink Bantha:
Slap stick comedy about a clumsy yet lucky detective set in a Star Wars theme.


The Chips of Wrath
Disposed homeowners of McMansions that went upside down when the housing bubble burst, set out in their Hummers to seek computer jobs in California. Their hopes are dashed when they arrive in California and find the jobs went to India.

The Apartment
A large raucous immigrant family share an apartment with another family. The struggle to feed the children as America dives into recession first relies on McConalds and go down from there until they build affordable self sustaining green housing that is attacked by the county for being against sub division code and being unamerican. After the families are removed the day is saved by a land developer who paves the roads and sells the homes to rich investors.

Subject: RE: BS: Movie script ideas
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 08 Apr 08 - 03:28 PM

Ah, yes, Mad Magazine.

"Star Blechh"

Mr Spook: "I don't believe my ears"

Cap'n Kirk: "I don't believe your ears either Mr. Spook."

(His name was not Cap'n Kirk but I don't recall what it was)

Subject: RE: BS: Movie script ideas
From: Donuel
Date: 09 Apr 08 - 09:23 AM

Capt. Quirk

Subject: RE: BS: Movie script ideas
From: Donuel
Date: 09 Apr 08 - 11:50 AM

The Think Tank

A sociologist, bio-chemist, psychologist and an extraordinary historian are compartmentalized in a national defense think tank project. They are told to explore the means and vehicles to cause a culture or civilization to become neutralized in a way to favor a regime change, or as they put it, to create a global paradigm shift for democracy.
They were delighted that even their pure research was supported without question and unlimited resources that was unheard of in academic or private settings. While some of them felt more patriotic fervor than others they all felt that they were also defining evil in such a way as to effectively combat the very core of evil and destroy it pre emptively. Political super science was born and it was their baby.

While they thought their ongoing work was purely hypothetical, many of their findings were being tested in the real world.

This group of scientists became more than the sum of their parts. They were condensing the lessons of history with advances in new cutting edge science as to.

The eradication of a society's science and language will hasten a nation's fall.
(as was done to the Maya)

The drugging of the children will nip dissent in the bud and create control of the parents.
(early tests were done at Lebensraum)

The introduction of a new religion to supplant the old aids a new regime.
(this tactic is virtually uniform through history)

A constant war status is at once the best distraction and motivator.
(ibid)

A uniform media message is optimal when repetition and tone are managed according to derived formula.
(while hypnosis is ot new, a myriad of new techniques make a profound improvement on its effectiveness.

Creating a martyrdom to support the new regime captures younger generations.

Empowering the new converts with pride money and a freedom to express belligerence to the undecided motivates the undecided to join more quickly.

Shutting down the access to communication of and between local and worldwide web communities is most effective when a tipping point of new converts is reached and when it can viewed as a triumphant solution to a serious problem, be it real or imagined.

_________________________________


The group of scientists had unwittingly sowed the seeds of their own destruction and is targeted for elimination beginning with the biochemist. The last scientist to be eliminated is the sociologist who effectively hides in an American community under siege by each of the strategies that the group had formulated.


followed by lots of car chases, gratuitous sex and a cute little coming of age sub plot.

Subject: RE: BS: Movie script ideas
From: Donuel
Date: 09 Apr 08 - 11:58 AM

A one man show with 5 off stage voices and 1 computer phone voice:
1 hour 42 min.
(a cross between Shelly Berman, Bob Newhart and Jean Paul Sartre in the setting of a suburban DC kitchen phone converstaion with Comcast)

A work in progress that is both profoundly descriptive of American life and hilarious in its honesty.
Based on actual events.

I should save this one to be aired on npr.

Subject: RE: BS: Movie script ideas
From: Donuel
Date: 09 Apr 08 - 12:02 PM

Shakespear in Iraq:

To surge or not to surge, that is the question.
To suffer the slings and arrows of outragous Fortune magazine articles...

Subject: RE: BS: Movie script ideas
From: Donuel
Date: 09 Apr 08 - 12:13 PM

Obama, Austin Goolsbee, Tom Toles, Tracy Ullman, Sarah Silverman, Steven King and Woody Allen all come together when they discover than an obscure missing blogger on a folk song chat forum, was their source for some of their best ideas.

Just who was this rapaire, and where did he go?

Subject: RE: BS: Movie script ideas
From: Donuel
Date: 09 Apr 08 - 12:43 PM

Conflict

When a group of the most sweet looking people gather for home and church meetings they forgive each other for some of the most heinous crimes imaginable without really disclosing them.


Worry and paranoia develop when their favorite hate targets turn out to be their national spokesmen and preachers.
Conflict arises as their neighbors begin to lose children and homes as a result of the faith based politician they worked hard to elect.
Murder results from a move to purify members and infidels alike.

Subject: RE: BS: Movie script ideas
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Apr 08 - 01:37 PM

"Top Banana"

A tough and crusty but likeable chimpanzee who is a hardworking and hard drinking private dectective in the greater Chicago area ends up running for President of the USA...and confounds the pundits by winning! He goes to Washington, roots out corruption in high places, and appoints several other chimps to the Supreme Court, thus ensuring freedom and equality for all primates in the 21st century. A crisis arises when his secret fetish for long-legged human females is made public, and a White House intern in the employ of corporate scoundrels, played by Paris Hilton, attempts to seduce him in the Oval Office and bring down the first primate presidency (not counting G.W. Bush's, that is). Will Chongo be impeached? Or will he triumph over the devious machinations of his corporate neocon enemies, stop global warming, end the War in Iraq, and succeed in converting the Washington Monument into a gigantic sculpture of a half-peeled banana?

KREE-GAHHHHHHHHHH!!!! Be prepared.

Subject: RE: BS: Movie script ideas
From: GUEST,Jack the Sailor
Date: 09 Apr 08 - 02:07 PM

Not credible. The only way a chimp can get elected is if his father was President and he quits drinking.

Subject: RE: BS: Movie script ideas
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Apr 08 - 07:13 PM

A movie does not have to be "credible" to do very well at the box office, Jack.

Did I really have to say that? LOL!

Still, your point is an interesting one. I think you left one part out, though. It's "if his father was President and he finds God and quits drinking"! Just being sober in itself is simply not enough.

Chongo has told me he wants badly to take on the job of leading (and saving) his country...but he's not willing to quit drinking to do it. Hell, no! As for the God part, well, yes, Chongo believes in God, but he's sort of non-denominational at the same time. He does not attend any particular church. Also, I think that King Kong is an important religious figure to Chongo...somewhat analogous to Jesus Christ in certain respects...such as the idea of laying himself down as a sacrifice on behalf of the collective sins of humanity.

Chongo says that every ape can sometimes feel the spirit of Kong moving him. I have to take his word for that.

Subject: RE: BS: Movie script ideas
From: Donuel
Date: 09 Apr 08 - 08:44 PM

Mr. Chongo goes to Washington.

His "handler" should bear a strong resemblance to Ronald Reagan.
Chongo in the National Cathedral: His longing liquid eyes look up upon Jesus on the cross. Special FX slowly morphs the tortured face into a grinning Chimp face. Chongo is born again!