BS: News item / Song Challenge?

Subject: BS: News item / Song Challenge?
From: Emma B
Date: 11 Jul 08 - 01:48 PM

Teenager finds bat asleep in bra!

'A teenager who thought movement in her underwear was caused by her vibrating mobile phone found a bat curled up asleep in her bra.

Abbie Hawkins, 19, of Norwich, had been wearing the bra for five hours when she plucked up the courage to investigate.

When she did, she found a baby bat in padding in her 34FF bra. The hotel receptionist said she was shocked but felt bad for removing the "cuddly" bat. "It looked cosy and comfortable and I was sorry for disturbing it," she said.'

'Perhaps I should have left it there and given it a good home.'

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/norfolk/7496923.stm

Subject: RE: BS: News item / Song Challenge?
From: GUEST,Guest from Sanity
Date: 11 Jul 08 - 01:53 PM

Double F???!!..Jeez, she should have been surprised that there wasn't a Super Bowl, game being played in there!

Subject: RE: BS: News item / Song Challenge?
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 11 Jul 08 - 02:41 PM

New version of The Wild Goose!!!

Have you ever seen a wild bat, asleep in a brassiere,
Ranzo me boys, Oh Ranzo Ray.
It probably thought it was one of Liz the Squeaks tits,
Ranzo me boys, oh Ranzo Ray.
Oh Ranzo, you'll rue the day,
When the bat filled brassiere flies away.

Subject: RE: BS: News item / Song Challenge?
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 11 Jul 08 - 02:44 PM

Kate Rusby singing The Wild Goose on Youtube is great........

Subject: RE: BS: News item / Song Challenge?
From: Becca72
Date: 11 Jul 08 - 03:57 PM

34FF is what my aunt Bernice would call a bucket-seat hammock. Sheesh. She's lucky to have only found a bat and not Jimmy Hoffa for cryin' out loud.

Subject: RE: BS: News item / Song Challenge?
From: SINSULL
Date: 11 Jul 08 - 04:59 PM

BatGoddess has this one outdone. One of her guests found a baby bat asleep in his undies.

Subject: RE: BS: News item / Song Challenge?
From: Bee
Date: 11 Jul 08 - 05:53 PM

Here ya go. Needs work.

The Bat in the Bra

There lived a bat mother all up in a wall
She'd brothers and sisters who lived down the hall
As time moved along she had children to feed
So many in fact she could not meet their need.

Oh Blinky my youngest, I think you must go
Down the hall to your Aunties, so fly to and fro
Out the wall, down the hallway and left past the light.
You'll be safe in their eyrie 'fore the end of the night.

Brave Blinky he ventured as evening drew on,
He must finish his journey before the new dawn.
But being a youngster, distracted was he
By the leap of a cricket and the hum of a bee.

Now finally tired, to Blinky's dismay
The sun was arising to start the bright day.
So frantically flying, he soon sees the light
Oh dreadful distraction, he deked to the right!

A dive in the darkness, our Blinky touched down
Just a whisker away from young Abbie's nightgown.
So frightened was he to find himself here
He wriggled his way into Abbie's brassiere.

Gentle Abbie she rose and dressed for the day
And went off to her job to earn all her pay.
But as the hours passed she was taken afright
For something up front wasn't feeling quite right.

"This fluttering feeling just over my heart
Cannot be accounted to sweet Cupid's dart"
So reaching within as quick as a cat,
She soon did dicover our dear little bat.

"Oh dear little creature!" our Abbie did cry
"I know you've been cosy, but it's time to fly!"
Now out of a window young Blinky's set free
And has got himself safe in the leaves of a tree.

When night came again Blinky follows the call
Of his Aunties and Uncles in the faraway hall,
And when he got there safe he vowed nevermore
To deke to the right and in through the wrong door.

Subject: RE: BS: News item / Song Challenge?
From: Amos
Date: 11 Jul 08 - 05:59 PM

I can tell you with great certainty that, had I been such a bat, I would have voted for the comfortable home idea. I believe the Temple fathers keep this sort of story on file for possible classification as miraculous acts of divine intervention.



A

Subject: RE: BS: News item / Song Challenge?
From: Bobert
Date: 11 Jul 08 - 06:26 PM

I love the story but I ain't gonna write no blues song about it 'cause it ain't blues material...

(Why you say that, Boberdz...)

Well, I'll tell ya' why... All blues songs begin "Woke up this mornin'"... Right???

(Well, yeah, Bobz...)

Well, being the resident authority on the womenz I know that after a day o' haulin' them babies 'round in them bra things the last thing in the world a womenz would wanta do is wear the sumabich to bed and therefore, accordin' to the Wes Ginny Slide Rule there ain't too much chance of wakin' up with a bat in yer bra...

B~

Subject: RE: BS: News item / Song Challenge?
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 11 Jul 08 - 06:27 PM

A very selfish bat it was!! Failing to share the bra with a friend or family member when there is clearly room for two!

Subject: RE: BS: News item / Song Challenge?
From: katlaughing
Date: 11 Jul 08 - 07:52 PM

Sins, did BatGoddess's guest have them on at the time?**bg**

Bee, well done, I like it!

Subject: RE: BS: News item / Song Challenge?
From: GUEST,Jack the Sailor
Date: 12 Jul 08 - 01:02 PM

da da da da da
da da da da da
da da Bat bra!
Bat bra!
Bat bra!

Subject: RE: BS: News item / Song Challenge?
From: Emma B
Date: 12 Jul 08 - 01:07 PM

And it's home bats home
Home I long to be
Home for a while in a girl's lingerie
Where's it's comfy and cozy; now I'm hanging from a tree
Oh I wish once again in a bra I could be.

Subject: RE: BS: News item / Song Challenge?
From: GUEST,Jack the Sailor
Date: 12 Jul 08 - 01:13 PM

What do ya get
when you store your phone
in your brassiere full of stuffing foam
Some times you get a flying bat home.

She'll never stuff her bra again.

Don't tell me that she's triple size,
I've seen her chest and I know that's all lies
full of that foam that foam
that foam to nest in
And she's still got room to fit her chest in

She'll never stuff her bra again.

Subject: RE: BS: News item / Song Challenge?
From: Charley Noble
Date: 12 Jul 08 - 02:03 PM

Bee-

Nicely done!

"Hi," said the leather-winged bat,
"I'll tell you the reason that,
The reason that I fly by night
Is I got one awful fright."

'Twas once I used to fly by day,
At night in some snug place I'd lay,
One night I went a bit too far,
And snuggled within Abbie's bra.

As I was snoozing lazily,
A hand reached in and snatched me free;
The moral is when you're a bat,
You better know just where you're at!

Cheerily,
Charley Noble

Subject: RE: BS: News item / Song Challenge?
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 12 Jul 08 - 03:39 PM

I lay in a wobble checker,
Minding my own.
Happy to be there,
And all alone.
When in came a hand,
grabbed me by the wings,
I guess I'll no longer rest,
In one of those things.

Subject: Song Challenge! - Woman finds bat in bra
From: Genie
Date: 12 Jul 08 - 11:09 PM

Time to move this very musical thread above the line, innit? ;D

Subject: RE: BS: News item / Song Challenge?
From: Emma B
Date: 13 Jul 08 - 06:42 AM

We slept in a bra double B
My grandfather and me
Didn't have no reason to roam.
Flying one night
Went left 'stead of right
Feel so broke up, can't find my way home.

So hoist up the old clothes line
Can't remember which cup was mine
Might have been double F or double C?
Let me go home, let me go home
I wanna go home
Feel so broke up. can't find my way home.

Subject: RE: BS: News item / Song Challenge?
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 13 Jul 08 - 08:23 AM

My Lady friend is shaking her head in her hands and groaning...

Subject: RE: BS: News item / Song Challenge?
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 13 Jul 08 - 10:08 AM

Is your bra upside down or is that a bat?

Subject: RE: BS: News item / Song Challenge?
From: Charley Noble
Date: 13 Jul 08 - 10:53 AM

Emma-

Very nice!

I suppose we might also consider recycling the "Boll Weevil Song-Just Lookin' for a Home."

Cheerily,
Charley Noble

Subject: RE: BS: News item / Song Challenge?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 13 Jul 08 - 11:11 AM

...da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da...

BAT BRA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


(lovely idea, Jack)

Subject: RE: BS: News item / Song Challenge?
From: Emma B
Date: 13 Jul 08 - 11:31 AM

Part two!

'A cheeky ram is certainly not the black sheep of the family after he made himself at home in his rescuer's house.

The 22-stone sheep, which goes by the name Nick Boing, was rescued by David Palmer as a new-born lamb three years ago.

But despite Mr Palmer trying to reintroduce Nick to farm-life, the sheep preferred his home comforts in the Rhiwbina area of Cardiff, watching TV and trips in the car.

Mr Palmer, 53, said Nick had even slept in his bed when he was a lamb but was too big for that now.

He said he had build Nick his own little bungalow in the back garden, complete with carpet and windows, but the sheep still likes to spend time in the living room.

"He's more intelligent than your average sheep that's stuck in a field.

"He's part of the family. He comes in every evening, head-butts the cushions off the settee and watches TV.

"If the biscuit barrel is out he'll butt it on the floor because he knows the lid will come off.

"It probably smells in here, but I'm used to it."'


Everywhere that David goes.....

Subject: RE: BS: News item / Song Challenge?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 13 Jul 08 - 11:50 AM

Very cool story!

I figure that most animals will show greater intelligence if they are just exposed in their youth to some situations that encourage it to develop, and that's true of people as well. This sheep sounds like quite the character, and he's got a good name too.

Subject: RE: BS: News item / Song Challenge?
From: Emma B
Date: 13 Jul 08 - 11:50 AM

22 stone = 308lbs!

Oh the shearings not for you my bonnie Nicky Boing
For the rearing was no zoo my bonnie Nicky Boing
Oh the shearings not for you
Though the air it may turn blue
At that size, what can you do?
My bonnie Nicky Boing

Do you mind the bed at night my bonnie Nicky Boing
When you used to snuggle tight my bonnie Nicky Boing
Do you mind the bed at night
You weren't then such a height!
Now you're really not so light
My bonnie Nicky Boing

Subject: RE: BS: News item / Song Challenge?
From: Alice
Date: 13 Jul 08 - 12:27 PM

"it probably smells in here..." ooooooh I bet it does

Subject: RE: BS: News item / Song Challenge?
From: GUEST,Jack the Sailor
Date: 13 Jul 08 - 02:27 PM

A tribute to e e cummings.

If using your bra as a purse
beware of what happens to nurse

Subject: RE: BS: News item / Song Challenge?
From: Mudlark
Date: 13 Jul 08 - 02:35 PM

The sheep story reminds me of a book I read years ago, drawn in by the title, "Bumble, Pig in Paradise," about a 300 lb porker, raised by hand from 1 lb piglet...still living in owner's farm house. Thoroughly housebroken (tho hard on the furniture) and leash trained. One would think a 300 lb pig could pretty much go wherever he wanted, leash or no leash, but apparently he heeled well. Pigs are very intelligent creatures...I suspect he wasn't about to blow Paradise for the thrill of a little tug on the leash.

Subject: RE: BS: News item / Song Challenge?
From: Severn
Date: 13 Jul 08 - 02:50 PM

Take me to your breast
I'll make your cup runneth over
And I'll always make a belfry
In your heart.

Hmmmmmm....Sounds like a country song in there somewhere.

But then, if it WAS the left breast, I'm glad it didn't get squashed to death by Abbey's own hand when someone struck up the National Anthem......

or maybe try a song starting with...

"How can I go on-O......."

Subject: RE: BS: News item / Song Challenge?
From: Severn
Date: 13 Jul 08 - 02:56 PM

Once expelled from the Abbey Belfry, will he seek out Carla's Bat Caverns?

Subject: RE: BS: News item / Song Challenge?
From: GUEST,Jack the Sailor
Date: 13 Jul 08 - 03:06 PM

The bat got to see the purple mountains' majesty up close.

Subject: The Bat's In The Cradle Of Her Big Boozooms
From: Genie
Date: 14 Jul 08 - 02:29 AM

OH, the insanity! (Puns, I mean!) LOL

OK, here's the beginning of my humble offering for this, um, "news" story:

(Sorry, Harry. Hope if you're rolling over in your grave it's not from agony.)


A teen age girl just the other day,

Got up and dressed in the usual way,
But pretty soon got a vibe in a thrilling way -
She felt a tingling buzz in her décolleté,
And she was wond'rin' for some time what it was about,
And when she fin'lly scoped it out - Gad!
This is what she found out:

The bat's in the cradle of her big boozooms,

Little boy bat tryin' to find a room.

"How he ever got in I don't know how,

But could ya really blame him now, boys?
I can't say that I blame him now.


(Maybe I'll finish the song later. I'm going to bed now.)

Subject: Song Challenge - Bat in FF size bra
From: Genie
Date: 14 Jul 08 - 02:33 AM

Actually, Jack, the lyric to America The Beautiful says "... mountain majesties ... "
-- which I think fits this scenario extremely well. Don't you? *g*

Subject: RE: BS: News item / Song Challenge?
From: Genie
Date: 14 Jul 08 - 02:36 AM

Oh, and I can tell you folks with great certainty that Amos "would have voted for the comfortable home [in a double F bra] idea" even without being a bat!

(But you folks already knew that, right?)

G

Subject: RE: BS: News item / Song Challenge?
From: Genie
Date: 14 Jul 08 - 02:40 AM

SINSULL: "BatGoddess has this one outdone. One of her guests found a baby bat asleep in his undies."

I didn't know baby bats wore undies.

Subject: RE: BS: News item / Song Challenge?
From: GUEST,Guest from Sanity
Date: 14 Jul 08 - 02:51 AM

Bobert, I saw that you said that the topic wasn't blues material...well how about ' I had no use for headlights, since I got sonar...My guy didn't like lookin' at me, no mo'...etc etc....(and that's the blues.....)

Subject: RE: BS: News item / Song Challenge?
From: GUEST,Jack the Sailor
Date: 14 Jul 08 - 01:03 PM

The bat had a home
in the bra padding foam
Where the breasts of a woman do sway
he started to purr
but it didn't deter her
from driving that creature away.

Home,
in the brassiere
Its cosy, padded and warm
But the jig it was up
when the tit in the cup
cause-ed that home to deform

Subject: RE: BS: News item / Song Challenge?
From: Genie
Date: 14 Jul 08 - 09:23 PM

LOL, Jack!

Subject: Song Challenge - The Cam In Pooh's Noggin
From: Genie
Date: 15 Jul 08 - 02:08 AM

A little more complete.

With apologies to Kenny Loggins:

THE CAM IN POOH'S NOGGIN
(based on The House At Pooh Corner, by Kenny Loggins
From the album:  Sittin' In (Columbia)


Christopher Hounslow alone stalked his room-
Mate with young limbs lit up by the moon.
Posing so innocently, so unaware
Of the cam'ra, she entered her room.
Yes, he ventured much further this way than he should,
Just to pick up the slack of his wee, aching wood.

Heaven help you!   You have got to get

Back at your roomie and clobber his buns!

You'd be surprised at the foul deeds he's done -

Now ev'ry inch of your hide's

Gazed at by his horny eyes!

Oh, the foul ways of Christopher Hounslow and Pooh!

Winnie the Pooh, don't ya know he'll view you? -

Got a honey cam stuck in his nose.

Your flatmate used him to help with his vice

And from here who knows how far he'll go?
You should send him to jail with Big Earl and Seymour
For using so foully the nose of a bear! Oh,

Heaven help you!   You have got to get

Back at your foul flatmate son of a gun!

You'd be surprised at the foul deeds he's done -

Now ev'ry inch of your hide's

Gazed at by his leering eyes!

Oh, the foul ways of Christopher Hounslow,
He's got to pay, that lewd Christopher Hounslow,
Oh, the betrayal by Pooh!

Subject: RE: BS: News item / Song Challenge?
From: Genie
Date: 15 Jul 08 - 03:07 PM

Oh, the insanity of posting around midnight after a long drive that you started out sleep deprived in the first place, especially when you've topped off the day with a glass of wine!

That last post was supposed to go in another Song Challenge! thread -- one that's up there above the line with the other Song Challenges.   

I've reposted the Kenny Loggins parody, in the right thread. Now if a Joe clone can delete this post and the ill-placed parody lyrics post, that would be peachy keen and merciful.

Thanks,

Genie

Subject: RE: BS: News item / Song Challenge?
From: GUEST,Jack the Sailor
Date: 15 Jul 08 - 03:17 PM

Genie,

Thank you for that surreal experience. I spent the whole time reading it wondering if it was you or me. Now I am relieved to see that it was neither of us.

I also wondered who would name a baby bat "Christopher Hounslow".

Subject: RE: BS: News item / Song Challenge?
From: Genie
Date: 15 Jul 08 - 04:19 PM

Actually, the guy's name is Russell Christopher Hounslow, and the story of his illicit use of a teddy bear as accomplice to his voyeuristic pursuits is in this thread.

When I looked at the Forum today and didn't see that other Song Challenge thread on page 1, I figured out what I'd done. (I'm feeling much better rested today.) : )

Still hoping one of the clones will delete the teddy bear song post from this thread and maybe replace it with a link to the relevant Song Challenge.

G

Subject: RE: BS: News item / Song Challenge?
From: Charley Noble
Date: 15 Jul 08 - 08:52 PM

Genie-

I was thinking that parody seemed familiar! ;~)

You best PM Joe Offer to tidy it up, and all the subsequent posts.

Cheerily,
Charley Noble