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Subject: Auction Closing Tonight at Midnight From: SINSULL Date: 17 Mar 09 - 11:16 AM Do not miss your chance to own your very own Spaw complete with possum ocarina, Cletus and Paw, the Reg Brothers, and a truckload of bathroom humor. I am begging you to bid....pleeease! |
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Subject: RE: Auction Closing Tonight at Midnight From: MMario Date: 17 Mar 09 - 12:13 PM getting nervous? |
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Subject: RE: Auction Closing Tonight at Midnight From: SINSULL Date: 17 Mar 09 - 02:19 PM REFRESHHHHHHHH |
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Subject: RE: Auction Closing Tonight at Midnight From: jacqui.c Date: 17 Mar 09 - 02:48 PM He he he he he he he................. |
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Subject: RE: Auction Closing Tonight at Midnight From: SINSULL Date: 18 Mar 09 - 08:41 AM Anybody got a bridge I can buy????? My fear is that Karen will ship him east forever. |
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Subject: RE: Auction Closing Tonight at Midnight From: John MacKenzie Date: 18 Mar 09 - 09:34 AM Her revenge for the 'presents' ? |
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Subject: RE: Spaw Auction Closing Tonight at Midnight From: catspaw49 Date: 18 Mar 09 - 09:40 PM WE HAVE A LOSER!!!!I have decided to send Paw first just to be his usual helpful self. If all goes well, the Reg Boys will show up a few months later to aid in the lobster trapping prior to my arrival. They have also been charged with finding a pusher for clams and scallops as well.Buford will remain here as he has a contract with the Iron City Beer folks to help them through these tough economic times. Since he has thrown up more of their product than the entire city of Weirton, West Virginia has puchased over the past 50 years, this is a wise move by the brewery! Cletus will arrive last to assure me that Sins is actually still alive and doing okay and not a raving lunatic. Cletus can easily put her over the edge all by himself but he has the number of the Insanevac Chopper and they're holding a room for her at the Neil Young Center for the Terminally Screwed. I figure all of this will take some serious time and if Sins is really lucky, they'll all get lost on the way there. I think the Reg Boys and Paw are already freaked as they saw this town in Maine named "Bath" and it scared the bejesus out of them. All this is in preparation for what is undoubtedly one of the wisest purchases ever made in the history of the Mudcat Auction! I'm yours Sins and (if and) when I arrive I'll be properly attired with spiked dog collar and chain leash. Congratulations! |
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Subject: RE: Spaw Auction Closing Tonight at Midnight From: catspaw49 Date: 18 Mar 09 - 10:01 PM btw........Lay in a huge supply of air fresheners. Spaw |
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Subject: RE: Spaw Auction Closing Tonight at Midnight From: katlaughing Date: 18 Mar 09 - 10:08 PM Shall I send the kitty litter and scoop? |
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Subject: RE: Spaw Auction Closing Tonight at Midnight From: artbrooks Date: 18 Mar 09 - 10:40 PM So...who got paid how much to take him? |
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Subject: RE: Spaw Auction Closing Tonight at Midnight From: Big Mick Date: 18 Mar 09 - 10:59 PM Thank gawd!! For those not familiar with the geography of the Midwestern United States, Ohio sits at the southeastern corner of the Great State of Michigan. Most of the time prevailing weather patterns kept the stench headed in an eastern direction, but occasionally when becalmed, or the weather comes out of the south, the smell of a soaking wet Angorra goat that had been hanging out in a pigsty, would start to creep north. That was just the precursor to the full fledged onslaught of the feared "Maumee Flatulence" effect. The local weather sensei's just referred to it as "that MF'er from Ohio, and would caution all homeowners to douse their pilot lights, open flames, and trashburning. Last time this happened I was at a buddy of mine's pig farm. I was walking past the hogs when the dreaded "MF'er" hit. This big old boar looked at me and said, "Duuuuuuddddddeee, was that you???????????". At least with the removal of the source of this to Maine, we can now enjoy the pristine beaches and clean air once more. Mick |
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Subject: RE: Spaw Auction Closing Tonight at Midnight From: Micca Date: 19 Mar 09 - 04:17 AM But...... Does he play the Banjo??????!!!!!! |
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Subject: RE: Spaw Auction Closing Tonight at Midnight From: John MacKenzie Date: 19 Mar 09 - 06:26 AM He's got a lot of pluck |
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Subject: RE: Spaw Auction Closing Tonight at Midnight From: catspaw49 Date: 19 Mar 09 - 08:28 AM You all can just go and pluck yourselves........... Spaw |
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Subject: RE: Spaw Auction Closing Tonight at Midnight From: SINSULL Date: 19 Mar 09 - 10:36 AM i, siNSULL, BEING OF SOUND MINE, DO HEARBY ...OH gOD! wHAT HAVE i DONE? |
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Subject: RE: Spaw Auction Closed - SOLD to SINSULL!! From: SINSULL Date: 20 Mar 09 - 06:51 AM Changed the title again, did we? It is about time for me to start an Anonymous Clone Is Picking On Me thread.
-Joe Offer, who updated the title to fit the (current) truth- |
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Subject: RE: Spaw Auction Closed - SOLD to SINSULL!! From: John MacKenzie Date: 20 Mar 09 - 07:08 AM That'll be unique |
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Subject: RE: Spaw Auction Closed - SOLD to SINSULL!! From: SINSULL Date: 20 Mar 09 - 08:37 AM OK. It's been a few days and still no owrd from Karen. I expected to find Spaw at my door with a note pinned to his coat with instructions for his care and feeding. I guess they are waiting for me to send in my payment. $41. I got robbed! |
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Subject: RE: Spaw Auction Closed - SOLD to SINSULL!! From: gnu Date: 20 Mar 09 - 09:56 AM Does that include postage and manhandling? |
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Subject: RE: Spaw Auction Closed - SOLD to SINSULL!! From: gnu Date: 20 Mar 09 - 10:04 AM Says not in the thread. So, you could ask for COD and refuse to pay. Nah. They would probably just leave him on the stoop. Anyway, he's yours. You could start another auction at $41. Course, last bid was Feb 25... better start back at nuthin. |
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Subject: RE: Spaw Auction Closed - SOLD to SINSULL!! From: olddude Date: 20 Mar 09 - 12:23 PM I have a batch of bean burrito's that I will ship with him LOL |
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Subject: RE: Spaw Auction Closed - SOLD to SINSULL!! From: John MacKenzie Date: 20 Mar 09 - 12:32 PM Cruel and unusual punishment Plead the 8th Sins |
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Subject: RE: Spaw Auction Closed - SOLD to SINSULL!! From: Amos Date: 20 Mar 09 - 02:38 PM To the Ladye Sinsull, Mayne Colonie, Greetings: My condolences on winning the recent auction, dear madam. I pray this triumph on your part will not prove too trying. My I recommend that while the object of your success is in your position, you keep doors and windows open throughout your domicile, weather notwithstanding, and strive with as many excuses as may come to your fertile imagining to spend much of your time out-of-doors, as I am convinced you will find it more salubrious; and further, that you under no condition invite or encourage this prize to engage in any motion or activity requiring the least modicum of dexterity, agility, or virility, being well informed that he not only lacks any degree of these virtues, but indeed will be put clearly at risk of breaking one or another part should he endeavour to exhibit them; nor accept any remonstrations, wiles, or persuasions to the contrary, for he clearly knows not his own sad limitations, and would fain have back the youth he once wasted, defying mere reality to raise its bitter face. Yet he must observe the constraints imposed on him by ravaging Time, as must we all, or stand not only into physical danger but the most disturbing moral hazard of defying the World in an unwarranted effusion of hubris. Do thou therefore treat sternly of him and admit none of the hanky-panky he will doubtless seek to induce upon you, out of respect for both your souls and his fragile mortal parts. With kindest regards, Sir Walter |
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Subject: RE: Spaw Auction Closed - SOLD to SINSULL!! From: Lonesome EJ Date: 20 Mar 09 - 02:45 PM Sinsull, all joking aside, you got a hell of a deal! Just Spaw's inimitable x-rated version of Oklahoma alone is worth the price of admission. True, he only gave the lyrics once on Mudcat while in an unusually whimsical state of inebriation, and immediately recanted the entire thing, but since he is now yours, I believe you can legally demand he perform the entire opera for your shocked edification. In fact, film it and put it on You Tube. |
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Subject: RE: Spaw Auction Closed - SOLD to SINSULL!! From: VirginiaTam Date: 20 Mar 09 - 02:57 PM I'd offer my condolences and congrats, but I am not quite sure who should receive which. |
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Subject: RE: Spaw Auction Closed - SOLD to SINSULL!! From: SINSULL Date: 20 Mar 09 - 03:01 PM Oklahoma Where the wind...oh dear. |
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Subject: RE: Spaw Auction Closed - SOLD to SINSULL!! From: John MacKenzie Date: 20 Mar 09 - 03:17 PM When I take you out for a curry ♫♫ |
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Subject: RE: Spaw Auction Closed - SOLD to SINSULL!! From: VirginiaTam Date: 20 Mar 09 - 03:25 PM I'm just a gel who can't say so. I'm just a terrible mix? middle of sex change tratments. |
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Subject: RE: Spaw Auction Closed - SOLD to SINSULL!! From: Amos Date: 20 Mar 09 - 03:30 PM Featured Hits: The Curry with the Singe on Top. Oh, What an Odorous Morning. Everybody's Full of Gas in Kansas City. De Possum, He Is Dead. People WIll Say It Was ME. Out of My Jeans. I Can't Say "Ewww!" With Spaw It's Gas Or Nuffin' Many a New Meal Will Pass My Tract. A |
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Subject: RE: Spaw Auction Closed - SOLD to SINSULL!! From: MMario Date: 20 Mar 09 - 03:35 PM Amos - HOw could you forget to post about the big production number. "Immonioum AD is all our friends" Who could forget the dancing privies? |
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Subject: RE: Spaw Auction Closed - SOLD to SINSULL!! From: wysiwyg Date: 20 Mar 09 - 03:37 PM But inquiring minds want to know-- will Karen dress him in nun garb before shipping? ~S~ |
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Subject: RE: Spaw Auction Closed - SOLD to SINSULL!! From: Joe Offer Date: 20 Mar 09 - 03:39 PM Ya know, no disrespect to Spaw and SINSULL intended, but now that we've sold the guy up the river and made our profits, I think it's time to move this thread to the non-music section.... |
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Subject: RE: Spaw Auction Closed - SOLD to SINSULL!! From: Little Hawk Date: 20 Mar 09 - 03:52 PM You must be joking. Som people will pay a lot to keep Spaw away. I've never heard of ANYONE who would pay to have him around. It's inconceivable. |
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Subject: RE: Spaw Auction Closed - SOLD to SINSULL!! From: Rapparee Date: 20 Mar 09 - 04:06 PM Ya know, Spaw could just buy hisself back. |
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Subject: RE: Spaw Auction Closed - SOLD to SINSULL!! From: SINSULL Date: 20 Mar 09 - 04:33 PM The Wells Farto Wagon is a'comin down the street..." Whadayamean it's not music? |
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Subject: RE: Spaw Auction Closed - SOLD to SINSULL!! From: VirginiaTam Date: 20 Mar 09 - 04:41 PM the Wells Farto Wagon Hey! That's a musical drift. We've gone from oklahoma to The Music Man. Well at least the movies had the same actress playing female lead. Can we get a little Partridge Family in here? |
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Subject: RE: Spaw Auction Closed - SOLD to SINSULL!! From: catspaw49 Date: 20 Mar 09 - 04:48 PM Buy myself back? That's like jackin' off outside a brothel.......... Spaw |
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Subject: RE: Spaw Auction Closed - SOLD to SINSULL!! From: gnu Date: 20 Mar 09 - 04:50 PM Hard times, Spaw? |
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Subject: RE: Spaw Auction Closed - SOLD to SINSULL!! From: Amos Date: 20 Mar 09 - 04:55 PM Oh, that well-farted wagon is a-cooomin' now, You can smell it from well outside the town, Oh that well-farted wagon keeps a runnin' ripe, I wish somebody would burn that wagon down! Oh it fouls up every street and house, Folks all say it oughta be against the law! And it could be from someone who is no relation, But it could be.... Yes, it could be.... Mainly methane, From Old Spaw!!!!!! |
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Subject: RE: Spaw Auction Closed - SOLD to SINSULL!! From: Rapparee Date: 20 Mar 09 - 05:21 PM Wait for the wagon, The well-farted wagon.... |
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Subject: RE: Spaw Auction Closed - SOLD to SINSULL!! From: John MacKenzie Date: 20 Mar 09 - 05:26 PM They call the wind Mariah |
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Subject: RE: Spaw Auction Closed - SOLD to SINSULL!! From: gnu Date: 20 Mar 09 - 05:47 PM Or Pariah. |
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Subject: RE: Spaw Auction Closed - SOLD to SINSULL!! From: catspaw49 Date: 20 Mar 09 - 06:03 PM So Amos.......We're doing "Music Man" too? Spaw |
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Subject: RE: Spaw Auction Closed - SOLD to SINSULL!! From: Lonesome EJ Date: 20 Mar 09 - 06:08 PM Those song suggestions are pretty funny, but the actual Spaw versions are another thing altogether. Spaw's versions of Oklahoma could take the bark off of a hickory stump, the chrome off of a bumper hitch, cause a vat of sorghum sap to come to the boil, split the eardrums of solemn churchgoers in a 50 mile radius, impregnate virgin librarians, make Baptist churches nail their doors shut, and give a neutered harem-guard a stiffy. They could knock a woodpecker off a rotten log. |
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Subject: RE: Spaw Auction Closed - SOLD to SINSULL!! From: John MacKenzie Date: 20 Mar 09 - 06:12 PM I like the imagery LEJ |
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Subject: RE: Spaw Auction Closed - SOLD to SINSULL!! From: gnu Date: 20 Mar 09 - 06:58 PM LEJ... "They could knock a woodpecker off a rotten log." Now, there is sommat a redneck can understand! Thanks. Plus that there one about the virgin librarians... I like to read. Or, at least, leaf thru the pics. |
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Subject: RE: Spaw Auction Closed - SOLD to SINSULL!! From: catspaw49 Date: 20 Mar 09 - 08:13 PM OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOKLAHOMA, Where the broads come running 'cross the plains And their big bazooms Are like balloons And they all wear T-shirts in the rain. OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOKLAHOMA, Where my dar-ar-arlin' you and I Can steal your Daddy's truck Where we'll throw a fuck And to your Mother we will lie. OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOKLAHOMA, Where I play with your massive gaping twat Put my hands in and clap But there's still a gap And something deep within you smells of rot OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOKLAHOMA, Where a hand job is the best of ways to go So make my throbbing cock Harder than a rock And be sure to stand well back when it blows If you'll just take my dick in your hand The feeling I'll get then is grand. So when you hear-ear-ear-ear YIP Pie yodel-odel AAAAAAAAA You'll know that I got my nut in Oklaho-o-ma And your hand job Was OK. |
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Subject: RE: Spaw Auction Closed - SOLD to SINSULL!! From: Lonesome EJ Date: 20 Mar 09 - 08:14 PM Holy crap. He did it. |
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Subject: RE: Spaw Auction Closed - SOLD to SINSULL!! From: catspaw49 Date: 20 Mar 09 - 08:17 PM Ah bullshit Leej.....You knew I would you with all that teasew from you........... Spaw |
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Subject: RE: Spaw Auction Closed - SOLD to SINSULL!! From: Lonesome EJ Date: 20 Mar 09 - 08:20 PM My woodpecker is definitely off the log. Wonderful (snif)...just wonderful! (applause) This is a momentous day in Mudcat history(sob). |
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Subject: RE: Spaw Auction Closed - SOLD to SINSULL!! From: gnu Date: 20 Mar 09 - 08:28 PM I gots tears in me eyes too... SPAW! Stop that. |
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Subject: RE: Spaw Auction Closed - SOLD to SINSULL!! From: Lonesome EJ Date: 20 Mar 09 - 08:31 PM and Sinsull is trying to figure out how the hell she can get her money back! |
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Subject: RE: Spaw Auction Closed - SOLD to SINSULL!! From: gnu Date: 20 Mar 09 - 09:04 PM Well... if she doesn't pay... Spaw shows up, right? Oh yeah, she won... so she should get to decide where he should go... ??? it's Friday, 10PM... leave me alone. |
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Subject: RE: Spaw Auction Closed - SOLD to SINSULL!! From: SINSULL Date: 20 Mar 09 - 09:31 PM Oh my...the neighbors...I got away with headless Jesus, Seamus and his sound system and John Roberts and his 3AM concertina lesson. But this...oh dear... |
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Subject: RE: Spaw Auction Closed - SOLD to SINSULL!! From: Lonesome EJ Date: 20 Mar 09 - 10:03 PM He has a beautiful singing voice, though. Like an angel, Sinsull. |
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Subject: RE: Spaw Auction Closed - SOLD to SINSULL!! From: Rapparee Date: 20 Mar 09 - 10:03 PM I don't know of any virgin librarians.... Now let's do "My Poor Pud Is Daid." |
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