Birthday Memoriam Andie-VTam's daughter

Subject: RE: Birthday Memoriam Andie-VTam's daughter
From: keberoxu
Date: 07 Nov 17 - 02:47 PM

Just went back
and looked at the November 2011 thread
of the dream recall,
in which Andie at last permitted you to give her a hug, in the dream.

I hope, as you grieve,
that your dreams speak to you
and tell you, and show you, what is needful.

Subject: RE: Birthday Memoriam Andie-VTam's daughter
From: Janie
Date: 06 Nov 17 - 12:38 AM

Just seeing this thread, Virginia. No words are adequate, nor are hugs, love or good thoughts, but they are the only currency I have to give.

May such offerings, collectively, give some small measure of comfort and sustenance to your broken heart.

Subject: RE: Birthday Memoriam Andie-VTam's daughter
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 05 Nov 17 - 06:04 PM

Lack of proper free or truly affordable healthcare is what killed my daughters.

I don't know what to say.

Subject: RE: Birthday Memoriam Andie-VTam's daughter
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 05 Nov 17 - 03:08 AM

Their conditions were treatable. In Andie's last journal entries were concerns about not being able to afford another visit to ER for the cortisol injections and saline drip she knew she would need if she was coming down with the flu her boyfriend had the previous weekend. She did not have health insurance and because she was so ill she had to drop out of uni, at age 23 she could not be on her father's plan in 2005.

Hilary's organs were shutting down due to lack of immunosupressant treatments that would suppress her hyperactive immune sysem. She was on SSDI, but not eligible for Medicare until November 2017. Public health clinics repeatedly turned her away for having conditions too complex for them to treat. They just told her to seek out specialists. Has anyone tried to get an appointment with a specialist when you have no job and your disability income barely covers living expenses and student loan repayments?

Lack of proper free or truly affordable healthcare is what killed my daughters.

Subject: RE: Birthday Memoriam Andie-VTam's daughter
From: leeneia
Date: 04 Nov 17 - 09:41 AM

I'm so sorry to hear about your loss, Virginia.

But let's not jump to the conclusion that treatment was withheld for financial reasons. It's possible that there is no treatment for the autoimmune disorder that Virginia's daughters suffered from.

Subject: RE: Birthday Memoriam Andie-VTam's daughter
From: LilyFestre
Date: 01 Nov 17 - 08:24 PM

There are no words.....just a very deep sadness and desire to hug you tight and cry along with you.

Much love my friend.

Michelle

Subject: RE: Birthday Memoriam Andie-VTam's daughter
From: keberoxu
Date: 30 Oct 17 - 02:44 PM

Were this my family,
I would be crushed to lose two loved ones in almost the same way.

This news stops me completely in my tracks.

And I hold you in the hush and stillness inside of me,
though we do not know each other outside of this forum.
May there be a healing calm available to you when you most need it.
Surely you have passion enough for the other times.
Not sure you want to hear this,
but your thread is an inspiration, wherever Mudcat puts it.

Subject: RE: Birthday Memoriam Andie-VTam's daughter
From: ChanteyLass
Date: 29 Oct 17 - 09:02 PM

I, too, am very sorry to read this sad news. My heart goes out to you, Tam.

Subject: RE: Birthday Memoriam Andie-VTam's daughter
From: ranger1
Date: 29 Oct 17 - 08:42 PM

So sorry to hear this, Tam.

Subject: RE: Birthday Memoriam Andie-VTam's daughter
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 29 Oct 17 - 05:29 PM

love & hugs from sandra

Subject: RE: Birthday Memoriam Andie-VTam's daughter
From: fat B****rd
Date: 29 Oct 17 - 02:59 PM

My very best thoughts and regards to you VT.
Charlie

Subject: RE: Birthday Memoriam Andie-VTam's daughter
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 29 Oct 17 - 10:42 AM

This is heartbreaking, all the more so in that if the US had universal healthcare it is much less likely to have happened. This is a matter of policy by non-physicians, not a matter of healthcare. And that is obscene.

Off of my soap box.

Huge hug, Tam.

Subject: RE: Birthday Memoriam Andie-VTam's daughter
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 29 Oct 17 - 10:31 AM

Andie has now been joined by her baby sister Hilary. Hilary (aged 33) was taken under similar circumstances as Andie. Unaffordable healthcare and untreated autoimmune conditions took her life last week.

Subject: RE: Birthday Memoriam Andie-VTam's daughter
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 01 Aug 15 - 09:25 AM

Ta Maeve,

I will be visiting Va and FLA in October this year. I had planned to stock up then, but as by that time I will be retired I found a recipe for making my own which is probably healthier.

http://www.justapinch.com/recipes/dessert/candy/bit-o-honey-copycat-recipe.html

Subject: RE: Birthday Memoriam Andie-VTam's daughter
From: maeve
Date: 01 Aug 15 - 09:14 AM

Welcome back, and happy to be helpful, Tamara. I think of you often. You know how to reach me when those Bit(s) o' Honey start calling. ;) I have some waiting for you.

Maeve

Subject: RE: Birthday Memoriam Andie-VTam's daughter
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 01 Aug 15 - 08:48 AM

Hello Mudcat friends. Tis true, I've not been in Mudcat much lately. When I finish work and scan facebook for family/friend posts, I don't have much energy left over for anything else, especially since I find Mudcat taxes the limit of my political passion. Better to just stay away from what causes stress.

I wish I knew who posted the lovely message about Andie. Ahh well for his/her info if they return here, and are on Facebook I am Tamara Linn Hiatt (Chelmsford UK) for the time being. Soon to be moving to the Midlands.

Thank you Maeve for emailing me and bringing this to my attention. Hi Bonnie. :)

Subject: RE: Birthday Memoriam Andie-VTam's daughter
From: maeve
Date: 30 Jul 15 - 06:55 PM

Will do, Bonnie. I agree on both counts.

Maeve

Subject: RE: Birthday Memoriam Andie-VTam's daughter
From: Bonnie Shaljean
Date: 30 Jul 15 - 06:40 PM

Maeve, please let VT know we're thinking of her, too. Of course this thread should be kept going. I can't imagine why anyone ever thought otherwise.

Thank you so much for posting, "Surprised" - what a lovely message. It's bound to bring some comfort.

Subject: RE: Birthday Memoriam Andie-VTam's daughter
From: maeve
Date: 30 Jul 15 - 05:00 PM

Dear Guest "Surprised",

I have sent a message to Andie's mother so she'll know you stopped in.

Regards,
Maeve

Subject: RE: Birthday Memoriam Andie-VTam's daughter
From: GUEST,Surprised
Date: 30 Jul 15 - 01:22 PM

To Andie family I am so sorry for your loss. I didn't know Andie had passed. Earlier this morning I happened to be thinking about her and how she loved to read which inspired me. I figured at this time in our lives she would be the boss of a major business/corporation or close to becoming president by now. So I just happened to Google her name and I run across this website and noticed that she passed years ago and I wanted to write this post to send my condolences to her family. I went to Fluvanna school (Elementary-High school) with her as well and remember Andie. I also remember going to 4-H summer camp and her being there. Her love for reading and singing inspired me. I'm sorry to find out she has passed but know that she touched the lives of many some she have never gotten the chance to know she inspired.

Subject: RE: Birthday Memoriam Andie-VTam's daughter
From: ChanteyLass
Date: 28 Aug 14 - 03:36 PM

From me, too.

Subject: RE: Birthday Memoriam Andie-VTam's daughter
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 27 Aug 14 - 10:08 PM

& from me

sandra

Subject: RE: Birthday Memoriam Andie-VTam's daughter
From: fat B****rd
Date: 26 Aug 14 - 12:18 PM

All the very best to you as always. Charlie

Subject: RE: Birthday Memoriam Andie-VTam's daughter
From: wysiwyg
Date: 26 Aug 14 - 10:08 AM

♥♡♥

Subject: RE: Birthday Memoriam Andie-VTam's daughter
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 26 Aug 14 - 07:05 AM

Forgot to mention. Planning a visit home to US and memorial gathering for her friends and family early to mid May 2015. It will be the 10th anniversary of her passing and would be her 34th birthday. Trying to deicde if Richmond or Charlottesville Va is better for the majority of her friends.

Subject: RE: Birthday Memoriam Andie-VTam's daughter
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 26 Aug 14 - 06:34 AM

Wow! Long time no post. For a time this thread was closed and the Mod PM'd me stating that he felt it should be closed as I was no longer contributing memories to it. I was pretty much in agreement after I got over the shock, hurt and thought about it.

I don't know if it is still appropriate to keep it going. I have finally had the old video tapes of my daughters converted to DVD. But I don't know how to edit Andie's songs out into single videos for upload to my youtube account.

BTW - Just read through entire thread and been weeping, which happily is a boon to my severely dry eyes.

Subject: RE: Birthday Memoriam Andie-VTam's daughter
From: GUEST,CS
Date: 30 Apr 12 - 05:57 AM

T do you ever skype with Hilary?
I know it can't compare to physically being with someone, but a visual call might help to make you both feel a little closer?

Subject: RE: Birthday Memoriam Andie-VTam's daughter
From: GUEST,CS
Date: 30 Apr 12 - 05:52 AM

Good idea to go to A&E even if it was wind / neuralgia. Mum had to call out the locum once for similar reasons, sensations of crushing pain in chest. It turned out not to be a heart attack either, but of course it might have been.

Subject: RE: Birthday Memoriam Andie-VTam's daughter
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 30 Apr 12 - 04:18 AM

well I had a bit of a breakdown over Hilary's FB posts "I miss her so much" and "I feel like she took part of me with her." I am better now.

Instead of grieving I have been crying in excruciating chest and left arm pain since Friday evening. Went to A&E yesterday early am. BP, heart rate and EKG all normal. A&E doctor's guess it is due to very tender shoulder joint (RA) causing referred pain down arm and into neck. Trapped wind in upper abdomen and left chest. Probably gastritis from all the meds I am on.

Happened again this morning. Still feel pretty wretched. Trying to figure out how to get walker downstairs so I can go to doctor.

Subject: RE: Birthday Memoriam Andie-VTam's daughter
From: gnu
Date: 28 Apr 12 - 12:40 PM

I can't say anything better than others. Take care of you.

Subject: RE: Birthday Memoriam Andie-VTam's daughter
From: wysiwyg
Date: 28 Apr 12 - 11:57 AM

My gift to Andie this year, is not tears, but focusing on beauty and creativity. Hope it works.

Tam, it may produce different results than you might envision now, but it sounds (from your description of how you are doing now) like this is a gift worth giving just for the sake of giving it, and it also sounds to me like you will be well able to handle whatever the results turn out to be-- that may also be a gift, to receive.

( S )+(T) that's us, side by side on a park bench, holding hands :~) any time you need to reach over. <3

Much love,

~Susan

Subject: RE: Birthday Memoriam Andie-VTam's daughter
From: ChanteyLass
Date: 27 Apr 12 - 10:40 PM

More hugs from me, too. And love.

Subject: RE: Birthday Memoriam Andie-VTam's daughter
From: fat B****rd
Date: 27 Apr 12 - 04:19 PM

It will work, because you can make it work, VT.
Hugs from me too.
Best as always from Charlie.

Subject: RE: Birthday Memoriam Andie-VTam's daughter
From: Ebbie
Date: 27 Apr 12 - 10:32 AM

{{{{{hug}}}}} {{{{{sniff}}}}}

Subject: RE: Birthday Memoriam Andie-VTam's daughter
From: maeve
Date: 27 Apr 12 - 05:51 AM

"My gift to Andie this year, is not tears, but focusing on beauty and creativity..."

That's a fitting gift, Tamara; thinking of you and your loved ones.

Subject: RE: Birthday Memoriam Andie-VTam's daughter
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 27 Apr 12 - 05:31 AM

Well approaching the 6th anniversary of Andie's death (28 April) and have spent the 6 weeks frightfully worried about her little sister Hilary.

This anniversary is different so far. Before this year, this day (and week preceding) would feel like a building up of a deep session of wallowing in sadness. It was a preparing to give myself a timed space to go back into deep grief mode.

I don't feel like that now.

I think it is due to having been under intense pressure at work and in my personal life (worry about Hilary and others things) and the high disease flare I've been in since October. I've had no time to think about the approaching poignant dates (death, funeral and birthday).

I feel as though I have exhaled and am ready to just take it easy, do some creative things on these days I have booked off from work. I am still worried about Hilary. But I am looking at how (as Hil is) to handle stress better.

My gift to Andie this year, is not tears, but focusing on beauty and creativity. Hope it works.

Subject: RE: Birthday Memoriam Andie-VTam's daughter
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 05 Nov 11 - 11:14 AM

That is a wonderful and very brave post VT - And to anyone who doesn't believe in afterlife or spirits it perfectly illustrates the meaning of 'when people are remembered, they will never die.'

Cheers

DtG

Subject: RE: Birthday Memoriam Andie-VTam's daughter
From: ChanteyLass
Date: 04 Nov 11 - 10:59 PM

From me, too. I hope she visits you again and that you tell us about it.

Subject: RE: BirthdayMemoriam Andie_VTam's daughter
From: gnu
Date: 04 Nov 11 - 07:04 PM

Thoughts and prayers yet again.

Subject: RE: BirthdayMemoriam Andie_VTam's daughter
From: Janie
Date: 04 Nov 11 - 07:02 PM

Or maybe it is the severless tie that love makes.

Subject: RE: BirthdayMemoriam Andie_VTam's daughter
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 04 Nov 11 - 09:27 AM

Long vivid dream about Andie. She told me lots of stuff but mainly she said to tell her sister, "You don't have to go. Just refuse to believe it. You will be able to come back." I asked her why she didn't come back. She laughed and said "I didn't know it then. Besides, I'm back now."

Really wondering what that last line means. Perhaps back in my dreams. She let me hug her this time. She wouldn't in the first dream about a month after she died. Prevented me from crossing small stream.

She said she was swimming and got pulled out to sea. Perhaps that is what felt like when she died.

It felt like a good dream. She was filling water barrels at this shanty town like place, near beach, filled with people from all walks. Different ages and races, disabled, trans gendered. Like a commune, but people were rather neatly dressed and all busy at some chore or another. Most kids playing on beach and in water. It seemed post apocalyptic in that the structutres were tents and corrigated iron, yet everyone looked well and happy.

She never stopped doing her work while she talked to me. She seemed very contented. I woke before I could ask her if she was still singing and before I could ask if when I die we will be together. Somehow I think she would have avoided the latter question. But I woke feeling at peace in myself somehow.

As the dream faded so did the euphoria and the difference between high and low left me weeping for a bit. But I am better now.

Maybe it is the tramadol I am taking.

Subject: RE: BirthdayMemoriam Andie_VTam's daughter
From: LilyFestre
Date: 12 May 11 - 01:15 PM

(((Love to You on this very special day)))

I lost one of my very best friends when he was a young adult. To this day, when it is his birthday, I do something in his honor that I know he would have loved doing. It helps me to remember and more importantly, to smile even if it's just the teeniest bit.

Michelle

Subject: RE: BirthdayMemoriam Andie_VTam's daughter
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 12 May 11 - 01:11 PM

She should be 30 years old today, with me wishing her 60 years more... Happy birthday Andie... forever 23.

Subject: RE: BirthdayMemoriam Andie_VTam's daughter
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 08 May 11 - 04:53 PM

Well my favorite cousin Peggy (64) passed away a couple of days ago after a 2 month undiagnosed illness. Peggy had a gorgeous soprano voice. She sang Summertime at Andie's funeral. I told her afterward that I used to sing the same song to Andie when she was a baby. And she returned that she sang it to me when I was a baby. I wish I had been home for the funeral so I could close the circle on the tradition Peggy started.

As my kids did not grow up in my home town, Andie didn't get much opportunity to spend time with my extended family of singers. I am hoping that Andie's wonderful mezzo soprano is harmonising with Peggy's high bright voice now.

Subject: RE: BirthdayMemoriam Andie_VTam's daughter
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 03 May 11 - 02:30 AM

Just found a few more of Andie's uni friends on facebook and one has provided a correction to a story above.

"Rescuing cows. Late one night when she and Kimmie had just met, they driving back to Farm Vegas (maybe Andie's name for Farmiville where Longwood uni is because of the lights at night in rural wasteland) they encounter cows escaped from some pasture wandering on the road. So Andie decided they had to notify the owner. But who? Which field, what drive? So they opted for the first drive, drove as near the house as possible. Would have gotten out and knocked on door but for the guard dogs barking angrily all around. So she leaned on the horn and shouted out of partly rolled down window. "Your cows are loose." Then to Kimmie, "nKay, I did the right thing, now let's go." Evidently this made a big impression on Kimmie."

This story was from me, Andie had gone with me up to Collierstown (outside of Lexington) where my family has an old Farm house. I wanted to go on a day trip to take photos for a photography class but didn't want to do it alone. She went with me and we had this cow in the middle of the road experience on the way back. It was quite the experience! We felt we had to be of service by telling someone but that dog was terrifying!
We later told this story in our APO meeting and we were awarded with the weekly "Freak of the Week" award! It was given out to who ever had done the most silly or outrageous thing during the week. Usually a chance to embarrass a brother about something foolish. This was the only time I ever received that award... I usually tried hard to dodge it but couldn't help but share our fun time with the Brotherhood.

Man we had some good times!

Thank you Sarah. Sarah has tagged me in a load of facebook photos (her own and other uni friends) that include Andie. How wonderful to see never before seen pictures of my girl having laughs with her friends.

Subject: RE: BirthdayMemoriam Andie_VTam's daughter
From: ranger1
Date: 28 Apr 11 - 12:21 PM

(((Tam)))

Subject: RE: BirthdayMemoriam Andie_VTam's daughter
From: Lizzie Cornish 1
Date: 28 Apr 11 - 08:24 AM

Love coming your way, Tam...xx

Subject: RE: BirthdayMemoriam Andie_VTam's daughter
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 28 Apr 11 - 08:21 AM

I want to go home

Subject: RE: BirthdayMemoriam Andie_VTam's daughter
From: wysiwyg
Date: 27 Apr 11 - 03:53 PM

(((VT)))

~Whiskers

Subject: RE: BirthdayMemoriam Andie_VTam's daughter
From: Lizzie Cornish 1
Date: 26 Apr 11 - 04:36 AM

Every Springtime from now on, Tam, I will look at nature's beauty around me and think of Andie. She will be in every blossom I see, in every bird I hear singing, in every new shoot rising up through the earth, in every sign of life renewing. The Springtime sunshine will be Andie's smile.


She will always be with you, always. xxx