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BS: SHIT!
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Subject: BS: SHIT! From: Charley Noble Date: 24 Aug 09 - 05:09 PM Well, I did have a plan for today which involved finishing up the sheetrocking on the second floor of the new garage at Robinhood Farm but instead I spent the day shoveling shit and TP out of a locker in the basement where the drain managed to find a weak point when it backed up. My horoscope this morning had only three stars and suggested that I tackle a problem "head-on." Very funny, God! We are resident landlords in a 4-unit apartment building, which was converted in the 1940's from an old captain's mansion. And one of our new tenants has children and this Sunday they had a party with even more children. Our working theory, based on the plumber's observations when he finally arrived this morning, was that it was her apartment which triggered the blockage. Once the blockage happened at a crucial T in the drain system, sewage backed up and found release through a basement pump vent, totally destroying the pump that empties the basement washing machine into the drain system. The pump is located in our locker and when our tenant alerted us to a problem down below, we found two inches of sewage floating around there. Much of the stuff in the locker was safe on shelves but there were several cardboard boxes below filled with "yard sale" items which were soaked through. Once we determined that our apartment and an apartment above ours was not part of the problem, some of us could relieve ourselves at our leisure. But I worked with the plumber helping flush out various parts of the system for much of the morning. And then I spent the better part of the afternoon mopping up sewage, sorting through the cardboard boxes to see what could be salvaged, and then laying down a coating of lemon flavored bleach. Now a space heater and a fan are working full blast to dry everything out. What joy! I'll have to check with my home insurance folks to see if this kind of accident is covered in my policy. The pump alone costs about $800 to replace. I don't think there is a song that may be inspired by this incident. I certainly won't compose one. Therefore this thread shall stay down below. Charley Noble |
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Subject: RE: BS: SHIT! From: greg stephens Date: 24 Aug 09 - 05:15 PM Charley: was your final sentence a cryptic reference to "Down Below", Sidney Carter's classic saong of sewage? |
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Subject: RE: BS: SHIT! From: Richard Bridge Date: 24 Aug 09 - 05:16 PM A dehumidifier is better than a heater and a fan. Rotten luck. Any chance the charming children flushed stuff they should not? |
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Subject: RE: BS: SHIT! From: Bill D Date: 24 Aug 09 - 05:20 PM Oh...my....condolences! Children can sometimes flush stuff that was not meant to be flushed.....but I can attest that humans can 'overload' the system with ...well.... shit. I cannot understand how any human can unload that much at one 'sitting', but I had to un-stop my local plumbing after a party once, and I was.......amazed. |
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Subject: RE: BS: SHIT! From: Peace Date: 24 Aug 09 - 05:20 PM Like a toothbrush? |
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Subject: RE: BS: SHIT! From: Peace Date: 24 Aug 09 - 05:21 PM Not amazed like a toothbrush, but flushed stuff they shouldn't have. |
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Subject: RE: BS: SHIT! From: Amos Date: 24 Aug 09 - 05:22 PM With kids it can be anything from pacifiers to small kittens... Well done on facing the sewage, Charlie!! What an appropriate thread title. A |
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Subject: RE: BS: SHIT! From: Beer Date: 24 Aug 09 - 05:26 PM Richard is correct if you can get your hands on a dehumidifier. Best of luck. Beer (adrien) |
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Subject: RE: BS: SHIT! From: gnu Date: 24 Aug 09 - 05:32 PM Be Noble in the feces of adversity, Charley! |
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Subject: RE: BS: SHIT! From: Janie Date: 24 Aug 09 - 05:45 PM UH...I think I'll pass on the next yard sale Charlie has ;^) |
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Subject: RE: BS: SHIT! From: Little Hawk Date: 24 Aug 09 - 06:33 PM Hire a squad of 50 to 100 Dachshunds at once! They will rush down there happily, roll around in the shit, and then carry much of it off clinging to their coats. Do this for 3 or 4 days and your shit problems will be solved! (sort of) Well, they'll be lessened anyway.... Dachshunds can be bribed with food. Keep this in mind and you will be able to attract much willing canine help in no time flat. Consider advertising in Canine Weekly, and place handbills near fire hydrants. Oh...if the basement stairs are too steep, you may need to provide a ramp or install a doggie elevator. That about does it. Good luck. |
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Subject: RE: BS: SHIT! From: Art Thieme Date: 24 Aug 09 - 07:08 PM Charley, What's your sign? I bet you're a Feces. When you eventually do write the song, call it "The Old Gray Merde" Art ;-) |
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Subject: RE: BS: SHIT! From: Bert Date: 24 Aug 09 - 07:13 PM Ye gods what sort of pump costs $800? Try Harbor Freight. |
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Subject: RE: BS: SHIT! From: Bill D Date: 24 Aug 09 - 07:23 PM "Hire a squad of 50 to 100 Dachshunds at once!" "Dachshunds can be bribed with food." ,,,ummm...won't this just change the particular TYPE of shit to be dealt with? |
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Subject: RE: BS: SHIT! From: Monique Date: 24 Aug 09 - 07:23 PM "The Old Gray Merde"... there's already the chorus of a song saying "Pompons la merde Et pompons-la gaiement Et envoyons se faire foutre Ceux qui ne sont pas nos frères Pompons la merde Et pompons-la gaiement Et envoyons se faire foutre Ceux qui ne sont pas contents" |
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Subject: RE: BS: SHIT! From: Bobert Date: 24 Aug 09 - 07:27 PM That ain't nuthin', Charley... Somewhere here in Mudville is a true story about the time I was workin' in maintenance at a high rise building and lost 200 feet of very heavy duty honey dippin' snake in a drain while doin' a little honey dippin' down a stack while up on the roof of the 20 story highrise with two basement levels... Yeah, the high temp that day was about 20 degrees and with the wind it was like zero... Well, the long version is several pages long but suffice to say that the only way to get the snake back was to open a clean out in the lower basement and in doing so recieve not only the snake but 20 stories of, ahhhhhh, honey to go along with it... So, ol' buddy, consider yerself one lucky person... 20 stories of honey is alot of honey... B~ |
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Subject: RE: BS: SHIT! From: Rapparee Date: 24 Aug 09 - 09:27 PM Poor ol' Charley. Interred this very morning. |
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Subject: RE: BS: SHIT! From: Bill D Date: 24 Aug 09 - 10:20 PM There was a young fellow named Hyde Who fell through an outhouse and died. His unfortunate brother, Fell through another And now they're interred side by side. (An outhouse would be easy compared to what Charley had to face.) |
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Subject: RE: BS: SHIT! From: Charley Noble Date: 24 Aug 09 - 10:23 PM Well, this experience certainly deserves the insightful remarks it has harvested, as well as the egregious puns. Here's another clean-up memory that I had repressed when I was first posting this thread. It has to do with cleaning up the floor of the locker. There was still a half inch of liquid and soggy paper floating around when the plumber left, and my wet-dry shop vac was at my job site 20 miles away. So I shoveled as much as I could, bit by bit into a 5-gallon mud bucket. Then I sopped up the rest with several rolls of paper towels. Then I got some lemon scented clorox and mopped everything clean, carefully draining the mop into the sink around the corner which was draining into the locker where the pump had been. It took me several trips to realize that I was losing ground as the liquid level on the locker floor inexplicably rose. Dah! After several hours of heat and fan the surfaces down below appear drier. Bobert- Like wow! Cheerily, Charley Noble |
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Subject: RE: BS: SHIT! From: Bill D Date: 24 Aug 09 - 10:26 PM That's a lot of work, Charley...I'll bet you're |
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Subject: RE: BS: SHIT! From: olddude Date: 24 Aug 09 - 10:34 PM It all came out in the end |
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Subject: RE: BS: SHIT! From: Deckman Date: 24 Aug 09 - 10:46 PM Are the children still small enough for the crockpot ... or do you have to chunk them up? Bob(deckman)Nelson |
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Subject: RE: BS: SHIT! From: Charley Noble Date: 25 Aug 09 - 07:50 AM We may never know what was flushed down the toilet. There was a big party for a half dozen little kids that day. We observed little plastic letters with magnets in the bathtub. There were napkins here and there. There were no missing rodent pets nor reptiles, fortunately. It's getting better now, and I was "tired" at the end of yesterday. Now I need to take a deep breath and call my insurance company and see if they will cover the purchase and installation of a new pump. Thanks for all the support! I only wish that some of you could have shared the work as well! Cheerily, Charley Noble |
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Subject: RE: BS: SHIT! From: SINSULL Date: 25 Aug 09 - 08:15 AM Down below; down below Oh it's dark but it's home to me you know... Charlie, I want a certificate from the Board of Health before you set foot in my house again. And you WILL get the sniff test. What a revolting development this is. (Trivia Alert: Who said that frequently?) |
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Subject: RE: BS: SHIT! From: GUEST,Mr Red Date: 25 Aug 09 - 08:26 AM Call the Song (I have my coat on and running already)............. Peggy Sewarage |
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Subject: RE: BS: SHIT! From: Roger the Skiffler Date: 25 Aug 09 - 08:29 AM My friends often remark I can't tell Shit from Shinola so this thread made me look up what exactly Shinola is. Apparently, while nowadays it is a euphemism for Shit it was originally a shoe polish. (Sounds of the Darts singing "You got shit on your shoes" in the background!) No wonder my shoes smell! RtS "They say that your father's a muckman...." |
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Subject: RE: BS: SHIT! From: Rapparee Date: 25 Aug 09 - 08:49 AM "Ya load sixteen tons and wadda ya git? Another day older an' deeper in shit. St. Peter don't ya call me, 'cause I can't come: I'm shovelin' up paper from somebody's bum. I was working one mornin' where the sun didn't shine Shoveling up shit and none of it mine...." Goodness gracious me, ah'm all a-flutter over the songs this incident brings to mind! |
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Subject: RE: BS: SHIT! From: Rapparee Date: 25 Aug 09 - 09:25 AM Oh, what a song challenge this is! I was laying in my hammock The sea was soft as silk With gentle billows rocking me Enjoying a glass of milk When the first mate cried "All hands on deck! We've got problems -- outa bed! For something's gotten screwed up bad And blowed up the Captain's head!" Well the deck was awash with lots of...stuff And we'd just holystoned that bit For Sloshing around at gunnel height Was gallons and gallons of shit. "Send for Charley!" cried the foretopman "For he's been this way before And they're ain't no body can shovel shit Like Charley -- or so says the lore." (I gotta go to work, so someone else can finish it.) |
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Subject: RE: BS: SHIT! From: SINSULL Date: 25 Aug 09 - 10:16 AM No longer a slave of ambition, I laugh at the world. It's absurd. And I think of my happy condition, Surrounded by Acres of turds. Surrounded by Acres of turds, Surrounded by Acres of turds, And I think of my happy condition, Surrounded by Acres of turds, |
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Subject: RE: BS: SHIT! From: weerover Date: 25 Aug 09 - 02:43 PM You could always organise a craps game...I'll get my coat. |
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Subject: RE: BS: SHIT! From: gnu Date: 25 Aug 09 - 03:33 PM When I worked on survey crew as a young engineering student, we did a lot of sewer "pck up". especially when there were backups into buildings. The methane buildup in clooged manholes and lines can be dangerous shit. We had no oxygen masks or any safety equipment. Only common sense. We would always have one man whose only job was to watch anyone who entered a manhole. Always had a rope tied on the guy in the hole. One day, the sun was at an angle so the boss had to get on his knees and stick his head into the manhole to assess the situation... yup, passed out and fell in. Pretty messy. And, the rope policy was altered. |
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Subject: RE: BS: SHIT! From: ranger1 Date: 25 Aug 09 - 06:05 PM Charley, you have my sympathy. I have had to dig up more than one clogged line due to some idiot flushing a diaper down a park toilet. In the Maine State Park system, we have lovely anonymous people who visit parks and poop on the floor of the freshly cleaned outhouses (The Phantom Shitter), people who make lovely little poo sculptures (The Shit Sculptor and Fecalangelo) and the person who stuffs the hand dryer vents full of poo (that person doesn't have a state-wide nickname). |
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Subject: RE: BS: SHIT! From: Peace Date: 25 Aug 09 - 06:06 PM I guess the "hand dryer vent stuffer" is a little difficult to manage, huh? |
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Subject: RE: BS: SHIT! From: ranger1 Date: 25 Aug 09 - 06:54 PM Bruce, if you can come up with a good nickname for said activity, we'll probably adopt it. |
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Subject: RE: BS: SHIT! From: Charley Noble Date: 25 Aug 09 - 08:21 PM Oh dear, dear! I knew that someone here would be "inspired" to compose some crude ditty. Of course I couldn't help singing one myself as I was mucking out the locker, a parody of "The Muckin' o' Geordie's Byre." Cheerily, Charley Noble |
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Subject: RE: BS: SHIT! From: Peace Date: 25 Aug 09 - 08:22 PM Reminded me of the old "What, and leave show business?" joke. |
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Subject: RE: BS: SHIT! From: Rapparee Date: 25 Aug 09 - 09:28 PM You know, I think I'll restrain myself from rewriting Paxton's "Sully's Bucket". |
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Subject: RE: BS: SHIT! From: Charley Noble Date: 26 Aug 09 - 07:56 AM It's probably appropriate that my music group is called "Roll & Go." We've often thought we could make real money from some porta-potty company with a promotional shot of our gang lining up in front of one of their products at a festival. We actually have been approached by such firms to see if we were willing to "sell" them our good name. Not to happen! All is quiet below this morning. Cheerily, Charley Noble |
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Subject: RE: BS: SHIT! From: Charley Noble Date: 26 Aug 09 - 01:14 PM Hurrah! The new pump has been installed down below. Let's hope it holds up better than the last one. Cheerily, Charley Noble |
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Subject: RE: BS: SHIT! From: Rapparee Date: 26 Aug 09 - 02:43 PM "We were neck deep in the Big...." |
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Subject: RE: BS: SHIT! From: Genie Date: 26 Aug 09 - 02:47 PM Yeah, let's hope, Charley. Now to compose the new lyrics to: "Who Threw The Leggo Blocks In Mr. Ipcar's Toilet?" |
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Subject: RE: BS: SHIT! From: Alan Day Date: 26 Aug 09 - 02:59 PM Interesting,I have had four parties at my house and all have resulted in me having to unblock the drains with drain rods whilst the party is going on. Is it the freedom of having free toilet paper that people go crazy with it. Reminds me of a Caravan site I once visited which had the toilet roll chained to the wall and a notice saying "PLEASE USE THE TOILET PAPER ONE LEAF AT A TIME" Al (Unblocking Drain Specialist) |
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Subject: RE: BS: SHIT! From: kendall Date: 26 Aug 09 - 08:19 PM Sinsull, that was William Bendix as Riley in the radio program The Life of Riley. "What a revolting development" |
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Subject: RE: BS: SHIT! From: Charley Noble Date: 26 Aug 09 - 10:17 PM Maybe I'll install bidets and remove all need for toilet paper. Using toilet paper to wipe one's nether parts is a filthy primitive habit anyways. Cheerily, Charley Noble |
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Subject: RE: BS: SHIT! From: Rapparee Date: 26 Aug 09 - 10:41 PM Not shit, but water. I came down to find the basement carpet quite wet at the bottom of the stairs. Seems like the humidifier on the furnace had overflowed.... |
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Subject: RE: BS: SHIT! From: Amos Date: 26 Aug 09 - 10:59 PM Sinsull: In addition to Wm Bendix, the line was borrowed by Bugs Bunny. A |
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Subject: RE: BS: SHIT! From: Little Hawk Date: 27 Aug 09 - 02:46 PM You're quite right, Charlie, using toilet paper (alone) is a filthy, primitive habit. The only thing that genuinely works and gets you thoroughly clean down there is water...but preferably soap and water. Muslims and Asians know that, by the way. Europeans? Well....they got civilized a little later in history, didn't they? Still a bit of learning to do there, I guess. |
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Subject: RE: BS: SHIT! From: Genie Date: 27 Aug 09 - 03:51 PM Sorry, Charlie. I couldn't help myself. ; ) Who Threw The Fuzzy Balls In Charlie's Tenants' Potty? Genie |
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Subject: RE: BS: SHIT! From: Rapparee Date: 27 Aug 09 - 03:56 PM Toilet paper is wasteful and inefficient. Corn cobs, on the other hand.... |
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Subject: RE: BS: SHIT! From: Genie Date: 27 Aug 09 - 04:11 PM ... will REALLY clog the loo! |
