BS: For my friend Spaw

Subject: BS: For my friend Spaw
From: olddude
Date: 03 Dec 09 - 11:26 AM

This one is for my dear friend Spaw. A true story that happened last night. I came home late from Wisconsin via Chicago to Buffalo. Well in Chicago I was hungry so I thought wow a Mexican Restaurant wow, wow. Now people like myself that have Chrons disease pretty much know what we can and can not eat. However, at times, my carnal desires win out over my common sense.

On the flight back to Buffalo, I was sure that death awaited me upon landing. Once I was off the plane I did my best interpretation of a marathon running and headed for the nearest mens room.   As I entered the stall a larger rapper type man entered the one next to me about the same time. I knew right away that things were not going to go well for him.

suddenly I hear this voice
"Whoa Man, Whoa, that is soooo wrong dog"
"You are killing me I can't breathe"

I answered, "you think it is bad there, I am a lot closer than you are"

"Whoa that is just wrong dog, that is just plain wrong"

I could only answer
"Gosh that burrito was spicy - sorry"


The best part is I skated out of there before he did. I am sure other people thought it was him

Subject: RE: BS: For my friend Spaw
From: catspaw49
Date: 03 Dec 09 - 12:32 PM

LMAO........uh, yeah......................What makes this so great is that almost anyone can relate to being on both ends (so to speak) of one of those moments.

My worst? Between flights at O'Hare.....This was when there was still an Eastern Airlines and when they had their "Ionosphere Clubs" like so many other carriers. Great places for business travellers to hang out between flights. Just prior to my flight, I'm finishing in one stall when someone goes into the next and within just a few seconds starts in with, "Aw geeziz....damn....geeziz.....".   I jumped in with, "Yeah, I know.....Smells bad.......I'm sorry man."

The guy says, "Huh? Aw no.....geeziz......I just shit myself."

Having no idea what to say to that, I damn near flew out of there before I learned any more which I didn't need to know! On my way out I went to the desk and told the doorman, "You may have a problem in the Men's Room." ..........and I left immediately!

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: For my friend Spaw
From: Lizzie Cornish 1
Date: 03 Dec 09 - 12:36 PM

That's so funny, guys! I'm laughing out loud over here! :0)

Subject: RE: BS: For my friend Spaw
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 03 Dec 09 - 12:37 PM

Harpy ain't gonna like this thread!

Subject: RE: BS: For my friend Spaw
From: SINSULL
Date: 03 Dec 09 - 12:44 PM

I will have to resurrect my nephew Chris' adventure at Borders Book Store.

Old Dude - warn me if you come to Maine. I will insist on Bland Food Night or a PortaPotty.

Subject: RE: BS: For my friend Spaw
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 03 Dec 09 - 12:49 PM

Oh thank you, thank you. Laughing so hard I got eyeball juice squeezing outta my eyes.

Sorry to make light of your distress Dan, but hey you shared it.

Subject: RE: BS: For my friend Spaw
From: olddude
Date: 03 Dec 09 - 12:59 PM

I been laughing since I came home ... stuff happens to me and I still don't know what I was thinking - visting Chili's at O'Hare airport. I know better... LOL

Spaw, got me laughin so hard I can't breathe now

Subject: RE: BS: For my friend Spaw
From: jacqui.c
Date: 03 Dec 09 - 01:26 PM

That's it - neither of you is allowed in the cellar now! I think that a dog kennel out back is the only place you two are safe!

Subject: RE: BS: For my friend Spaw
From: gnu
Date: 03 Dec 09 - 01:50 PM

Soooo, Dan.... you are really a cRAPPER at heart?

Subject: RE: BS: For my friend Spaw
From: Little Hawk
Date: 03 Dec 09 - 02:11 PM

If only my Dachshund could write! What tales he would tell. He knows more about this sort of thing than you can possibly imagine.

Subject: RE: BS: For my friend Spaw
From: gnu
Date: 03 Dec 09 - 02:20 PM

What are you feeding the poor dog, LH?

Subject: RE: BS: For my friend Spaw
From: Little Hawk
Date: 03 Dec 09 - 02:35 PM

No, I mean he does know shit!

Subject: RE: BS: For my friend Spaw
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Dec 09 - 03:06 PM

Funny, the dachshunds I know also know shinola.

Subject: RE: BS: For my friend Spaw
From: olddude
Date: 03 Dec 09 - 03:11 PM

Note to grade school teacher !

I will eat no more mexican food, I will eat no more mexican food,I will eat no more mexican food, I will eat no more mexican food,I will eat no more mexican food, I will eat no more mexican food,I will eat no more mexican food, I will eat no more mexican food,I will eat no more mexican food, I will eat no more mexican food,I will eat no more mexican food, I will eat no more mexican food,I will eat no more mexican food, I will eat no more mexican food,I will eat no more mexican food, I will eat no more mexican food !!

Subject: RE: BS: For my friend Spaw
From: olddude
Date: 03 Dec 09 - 04:41 PM

HEY SPAW!

Do you realize Jacqui threw us out of the cellar!! we are not even allow in the house! ... holy cow,   that is a new record. Next we will get thrown out of the dog house ...

a new record set here folks ... wow!

Subject: RE: BS: For my friend Spaw
From: Amergin
Date: 03 Dec 09 - 05:20 PM

My dog would never throw you out of the dog house...she would welcome you...until she realised there were no goodies forthcoming....

Subject: RE: BS: For my friend Spaw
From: Donuel
Date: 03 Dec 09 - 05:29 PM

My favorite Spaw classic was the one where a guy wakes up with the grand daddy of all eureka moments with such profound implications that all the scientists in history would be awed by his motivation and discovery.

Subject: RE: BS: For my friend Spaw
From: Bill D
Date: 03 Dec 09 - 07:10 PM

I'm not sure I should laugh, or just look smug...because I can eat all the Mexican food I want, with few problems.

I can sympathize, but maybe not empathize.

Subject: RE: BS: For my friend Spaw
From: GUEST,hg
Date: 03 Dec 09 - 07:14 PM

correct mackenzie

Subject: RE: BS: For my friend Spaw
From: Bill D
Date: 03 Dec 09 - 07:22 PM

...and so it goes.. (for maybe 10 years now?)
gee, harpy... I almost have forgotten what you DO approve of. Kinda sad.

Subject: RE: BS: For my friend Spaw
From: GUEST,hg
Date: 03 Dec 09 - 07:27 PM

gee bill, I've almost forgotten how "holier than thou" you've always been. kinda sad....

Subject: RE: BS: For my friend Spaw
From: jacqui.c
Date: 03 Dec 09 - 07:32 PM

Harpy ain't gonna like this thread!

Do we care? Those that don't like it don't have to come in more than once.

Subject: RE: BS: For my friend Spaw
From: GUEST,hg
Date: 03 Dec 09 - 07:40 PM

at least my muck is lime jello...

Subject: RE: BS: For my friend Spaw
From: Jeri
Date: 03 Dec 09 - 07:44 PM

Sins, either get a porta-potty or forgo the usual candle in the can. The former is probably the better choice, because there's still the wallpaper to consider.

Subject: RE: BS: For my friend Spaw
From: Bill D
Date: 03 Dec 09 - 07:48 PM

"....how "holier than thou" you've always been."

pooh!... since I can't send PMs to 'guests', I'll say no more.

Subject: RE: BS: For my friend Spaw
From: GUEST,hg
Date: 03 Dec 09 - 07:57 PM

"I'm not sure I should laugh, or just look smug...because I can eat all the Mexican food I want, with few problems.

I can sympathize, but maybe not empathize."


proof that he thinks his s**t doesn't stink....lol

Subject: RE: BS: For my friend Spaw
From: Jeri
Date: 03 Dec 09 - 07:57 PM

Interesting (maybe) but irrelevant (mostly): if cabin air pressure is about a third of what it is on the ground, personal compressed gas is a much higher volume on the air. Pilots and crew eat mostly non-gas producing foods before a flight.

Think of what could have happened if you'd let loose while up there, and I don't think the results would have been evident on the 'black box'... or would it be the 'brown box'? Anyway, an operational sphincter is a good thing.

Subject: RE: BS: For my friend Spaw
From: Little Hawk
Date: 03 Dec 09 - 08:00 PM

Spicy food doesn't bother me a bit, either. You and I should join the holier-than-thou club, Bill. ;-)

Subject: RE: BS: For my friend Spaw
From: olddude
Date: 03 Dec 09 - 08:16 PM

It was one of those tiny little regional jets, that would have been a complete disaster LOL

Subject: RE: BS: For my friend Spaw
From: Jeri
Date: 03 Dec 09 - 08:23 PM

Actually, the smaller planes fly lower, so they don't have to pressurize as much. I got all this from a pilot. I asked him because I have one eustachian tube that gets blocked on planes with some regularity. So the ambient pressure on a small plane is higher, but you'd also cause a lot more damage if you, uh, decompressed.

Subject: RE: BS: For my friend Spaw
From: Bobert
Date: 03 Dec 09 - 09:40 PM

Gotta an ol' blues buddy who just flew in from Buffalo... He was tellin' me the same story??? Hmmmmmm???

This guy weren't, ahhhhh, black, 'round 6'2, 230 and in his 50s was he, Oldster??? If so, he wants to know where you live... He's got somethin' fir ya, buddy...

B~

Subject: RE: BS: For my friend Spaw
From: olddude
Date: 03 Dec 09 - 09:41 PM

LOL
Bobert,   tell him my name is Kendall but some call me Captain ok there buddie ?

:-)

Subject: RE: BS: For my friend Spaw
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Dec 09 - 10:16 PM

That's odd, Bobert, because I just saw my old buddy Larry Craig who told me that because of an "incident" in an airport men's room he's sworn off flying completely.

Subject: RE: BS: For my friend Spaw
From: Amos
Date: 03 Dec 09 - 10:21 PM

Major misdirection going down there, amigos!! Heads up for a Condition Red Alert.



A

Subject: RE: BS: For my friend Spaw
From: olddude
Date: 03 Dec 09 - 10:42 PM

LOL
Now if I were a redneck I could say "blame the Mexicans" like we hear so often for other things ...

Subject: RE: BS: For my friend Spaw
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 04 Dec 09 - 04:53 AM

Dan's next song will be a TexMex classic.

Subject: RE: BS: For my friend Spaw
From: jacqui.c
Date: 04 Dec 09 - 08:31 AM

DAN!





















DOGHOUSE!!!!!!!

Subject: RE: BS: For my friend Spaw
From: SINSULL
Date: 04 Dec 09 - 08:55 AM

My brother and his wife drove up from NYC this summer for a visit. They stopped at a rest area. A woman waddling oddly pushed past them in a hurry to reach the Ladies Room - alas, too late. Her white slacks told the tale.
A relative of yours, Dan?

Subject: RE: BS: For my friend Spaw
From: olddude
Date: 04 Dec 09 - 09:19 AM

Sins,
that was my sister LOL

I am impressed with this thread, Spaw and I are the only ones who ever got thrown out of the Cellar ... We have hit an all time low.

John,
good idea for a song my dear friend, hey send me a myspace request again if you have time. I had to rebuild due to some tecky problems and had to try and get my friends list back and lost ya ...

Subject: RE: BS: For my friend Spaw
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 04 Dec 09 - 11:17 AM

The holier than thou all you can eat mexican annexe

Subject: RE: BS: For my friend Spaw
From: DougR
Date: 04 Dec 09 - 05:50 PM

I read and read again olddude's post, and for the life of me, I cannot find one funny thing about it. Some of you folks have a very far out sense of humor.

DougR

Subject: RE: BS: For my friend Spaw
From: ranger1
Date: 04 Dec 09 - 06:00 PM

Dan, you owe me a new keyboard and monitor. I should know better than to take a swig of anything before I open a thread here...

Subject: RE: BS: For my friend Spaw
From: Bill D
Date: 04 Dec 09 - 06:10 PM

It's just the word 'funny', Doug.... it is used to mean too many things.

Some events are so strange that even laughing doesn't cover them.

We used to say "Funny ha-ha? Or funny weird?"

Sometimes the story is funny, whereas the incident was only strange.

What do you laugh at in Texas?....Obama jokes?

Subject: RE: BS: For my friend Spaw
From: olddude
Date: 04 Dec 09 - 08:06 PM

Yea Doug we are a strange bunch LOL ... That is why Spaw and I got thrown out of the Cellar to the doghouse.

Ranger1 sorry my friend, I will send ya one
LOL

Subject: RE: BS: For my friend Spaw
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 05 Dec 09 - 02:21 AM

All I'm saying is long church pews and beans for dinner.

LTS