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BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead???
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Subject: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: Bobert Date: 01 Jan 10 - 06:47 PM Seemes with all the rumors swirling of Chongo's demise I figured that something this important deserved its oen thread... With that said I figurated I'd cover the bases now either way... If he's dead then... ...sniff... I loved that chimp and am so disappointed that he ain't around to run with Sarah Palin in 2012 'cause he was one heck of a chimp... Sho nuff was... Sniff... Now if the weisel ain't dead then... ...he oughtta be fir all the aggrivation that monkey 'caused me last year in my own campaign to be president and how his rude monkey manners 'cuased me and Skivz financial ruin and the presidency, too... So, Chongz, bite me... There... That oughtta about cover it either way... B~ |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: Little Hawk Date: 01 Jan 10 - 07:06 PM Bobert, unless you believe the garbage emanating from Deep Doo-Doo, alias Amos, alias Anos....you know perfectly well that Chongo is alive and well in Chicago. He returns your felicitations and says he hopes a tree falls on you. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: Bobert Date: 01 Jan 10 - 07:31 PM Ummmm, could you ask him which tree he has in mind... I mean, I got thousands of trees around here... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: Little Hawk Date: 01 Jan 10 - 07:34 PM I'm not sure which tree he had in mind. I'll try and find out. Meanwhile, here's a video of some chimps in Chicago who are celebrating the fact that Chongo is not dead. Celebrating chimps who love Chongo |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: Little Hawk Date: 01 Jan 10 - 07:38 PM Okay, apparently he meant this tree... Bobert's tree? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: Ebbie Date: 01 Jan 10 - 07:41 PM That looks like an African tree to me. He may not be dead but to me Chongo looks seriously confused. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: Little Hawk Date: 01 Jan 10 - 07:43 PM It's just his idea of humour, Ebbie. ;-) Now take a look at the kind of great TV shows we are going to have after Chongo ascends to the Oval Office... Primate TV! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: Amos Date: 01 Jan 10 - 07:56 PM LEgal, journalistic and scientific experts have chimed in to cover and explain Chongo's unfortunate intersection with an IED a few miles outside of Kandahar, Afghanistan, while tracing a felon in to the Kandahar slums. I agree it is an awful story, but you have to learn to face reality!!! A |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: Little Hawk Date: 01 Jan 10 - 08:10 PM Encounters with Inadequately Educated Dimwits can sometimes be hazardous, Amos, I'll grant that....but Chongo has had thousands of such encounters in the last few decades and he has survived all of them. He is as fit as a fiddle. There is no cause for concern...except for those intent on shutting chimps out of high level politics in Washington. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: Bobert Date: 01 Jan 10 - 08:12 PM So he is dead??? Geeze, what a shame... Sniff... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: Ebbie Date: 01 Jan 10 - 08:33 PM :) :) :) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: Little Hawk Date: 01 Jan 10 - 08:34 PM How about I just let you all suffer for awhile, thinking he's dead? Go ahead...weep, moan, carry on about how much you miss him now that he's gone, go crazy. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: Bobert Date: 01 Jan 10 - 09:22 PM Oh, the guilt... Sniff... I went out lookin' fir a tree just like Chongo---before his untimely death, this is--- said was gonna falll on me but I couldn't find no trees like that so I went and got my chainsaw and tried to saw a tree down on myself cept... ...the sumabacih wenbt the wrong way and landed in the P-Vine prized azalea bed and then she come out to see what the commotion was and dragged my poor butt back in the house and put a whup on me and.... Sniff... is he really gone, LH??? Please say yer joking... Please... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: Rapparee Date: 01 Jan 10 - 09:25 PM How come all the chimps in that "Primate TV" video have the same teeth? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: Ed T Date: 01 Jan 10 - 10:27 PM One cospiracy theory I have heard, is he was shot by a troll on a thashy pill. Another has him sighted at a Burger King, eating a Big King burger, while watching a King Kong movie on a portable DVD player. I trust his supply of Attends will not run out. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: Ed T Date: 01 Jan 10 - 10:34 PM If you watch really carefully, you will see Thashy give the secret finger salute, and you can see Chongo in the background as the camera scans the room. http://www.youtube.com/user/Thashy Let's face it....everyone onthe run needs a safe house....to store poppy seed. Who would have known that he spoke languages other than English? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: Amos Date: 01 Jan 10 - 11:10 PM Denial is the first stage in recovering from Great Losss... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: Bobert Date: 02 Jan 10 - 08:48 AM So, ya'll... Look at the mess ya'll has got the ol' hillbilly in now... I gotta a tree down in the P-Vine's prized azalea bed an' you know what that means, dontcha??? Yeah, I gotta do the DDD (Dance of the Dieing Duck) which all men know how to do which means a day in the friggin' mall, followin' here around while she says "How do you like this dress???" and I gotta say "It's loks great, Honey" a hundred different ways... Plus, I'm still kinda in mournin' since LH has confirmed that poor ol' Chongz has gone to that big banana tree (speakin' of trees) in the sky... Sniff of both counts... B~ |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: John MacKenzie Date: 02 Jan 10 - 09:09 AM I find that when a woman is trying on a dress or somesuch, and they ask me 'Does my bum/ass, look big in this?' My whole life flashes in front of my eyes. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: Darowyn Date: 02 Jan 10 - 09:21 AM I think I can say, without fear of contradiction, that the title of this thread is true. Chongo is definitely dead or not dead. Logical, see? Cheers Dave |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: GUEST,number 6 Date: 02 Jan 10 - 09:26 AM No Chongo's not dead .... he is suffering from extreme emotional numbness after seeing the movie Avatar .... that monkey will snap out of it shortly. biLL |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: Ed T Date: 02 Jan 10 - 09:35 AM "It like trying to milk a dead cow" Woodie Guthrie "which means that he was as charming as a dead mouse in a loaf of bread...." Clive James "is like a hornet; if you can't kill it dead the first time, better not" Josh Billings (How) "long has it been, two weeks? Yeah, he's dead...." Stewie Griffin ""I just wanna say." Well, you're dead now, so shut up!..." Monty Python |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: Bobert Date: 02 Jan 10 - 09:41 AM Well, I reckon if Monty Python says that Chongz is dead then he's prolly dead.. Sniff... Real sorry, LH... It must be tough on ya'... But life goes on... Keep yer chin up... I mean, he's in a better place now... Hey, he weren't a bad monkey... Jus' misunderstood... Sniff... B~ |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: Little Hawk Date: 02 Jan 10 - 11:38 AM Like I said...go nuts. Knock yourselves out. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: Amos Date: 02 Jan 10 - 12:07 PM Losing someone like that ain't easy, Hawk--we unnerstan' that. You'll pull through. Your friends are witchoo all da way. Hang tough, man. Dis too shall pass. East Side Gorillas Benevolent Association |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: Ebbie Date: 02 Jan 10 - 12:25 PM Speaking of gorillas - in tha was a live Chongo; I was going to make the remark that I had no idea he was so big. But could that have been a gorilla? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: Little Hawk Date: 02 Jan 10 - 12:39 PM Yes, I think it probably was. Chongo is a large chimp, but he's not as big as the average gorilla. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: Ed T Date: 02 Jan 10 - 12:44 PM Talk amongst Chimp circles is LH is one of the few mentioned in his will, since he provided him early guidance towards his house and touilet manners. LG gets the keys to his safety deposit box....I suspect it's mostly coupons for attends and the three ply toilet paper he could never put the money up for. Another rumered to be in on the will is Rapaire....who advised him to invest in secure stocks young so he could reap the benefits when older. Taking this good advice, he bought quite a few limited edition monkey Beanie babies. Unfortunately, he could never get advice right and bought them when the market for them fell. He thought it was best buy them when the market is high, sell when the market is low. (just like LH's toilet training he could never quite get right, prefering to wipe first, before he pooped). |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: Little Hawk Date: 02 Jan 10 - 12:50 PM I haven't seen or heard of Chongo's will, but if he has one at all (which I sort of doubt), I think he's probably had it updated recently to leave everything to his friend, Renata Carson. Just an educated guess on my part. She's a lot younger than Chongo, so it would make sense from his point of view to do that. Chongo usually thinks in terms of other people dying, not him, and that's why his guns are always kept loaded...safety on, of course. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp Date: 02 Jan 10 - 12:56 PM Ya know...I am thinkin' of startin' a thread of my own... "Amos stupid? Or REALLY stupid?" What an ass the man is. He makes the back end of a baboon look good in comparison. Anyways, I would start such a thread, but the moderators would probably just shut it down, so never mind. I will just let Amos go on bein' the ass that he is and makin' up weird stuff up about me, because it amuses his twisted little mind to do so and if that's what he needs to give him a sense of meanin', well, no sweat. I can live with it. Besides, like I said before, it's good publicity for me and the APP. - Chongo |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: Ed T Date: 02 Jan 10 - 01:04 PM http://www.sciencedaily.com/images/2009/12/091228152350-large.jpg |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: Ebbie Date: 02 Jan 10 - 01:11 PM Litttle Hawk, I perceive that Chongo has had a personality adjustment. In this latest post he comes across as having had more education than just street smarts. Keerful. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: Bee-dubya-ell Date: 02 Jan 10 - 01:16 PM Ah, yes! The proverbial enigma! The perennial question! The quandering quandary! "Chongo: Dead or Not Dead?" Well, to say that there's no right way or wrong way to answer the question would be almost, but not quite exactly, the same as saying there's not a wrong way or right way to answer the question. Furthermore, whereas the question "Chongo: Dead or Alive?" could possibly be answered "Yes, or maybe no," the question "Chongo: Dead or Not Dead?" can only be answered "No, or maybe yes," inasmuch as being dead and being not alive are not mutually exclusive propositions. It's like "heads or tails" versus "heads or not heads" versus "tails or heads" versus "tails or not tails". How ya gonna get that many of 'em into the ring at the same time and still have room for a referee? Or do you need a referee? Would an umpire or a line judge be okay? And that's just the beginning! There are tons of other questions that must be addressed, such as: Exactly how does a duck fit into the overall picture of things? Is the overall picture a picture of overalls with a duck in it, or is the duck wearing the overalls? If the duck is wearing the overalls, do they fit? If they don't fit, could it be that the duck is wearing Chongo's overalls by mistake? What's a suave, urbane chimp like Chongo doing wearing overalls? When one considers all the above questions, one comes to the inexcapable conclusion that, since Chongo would not be caught dead wearing overalls, he must either be alive, not dead, or simply hasn't yet been caught being dead. We hope this discourse has helped make things perfectly unclear. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: olddude Date: 02 Jan 10 - 02:03 PM Bob's done Kilt him with the bad Shine |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: Rapparee Date: 02 Jan 10 - 02:20 PM Erwin Schrödinger, where are you when we need you? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: Ed T Date: 02 Jan 10 - 02:51 PM "It was previously a question of finding out whether or not life had to have a meaning to be lived. It now becomes clear, on the contrary, that it will be lived all the better if it has no meaning" Albert Camus "Don't go where the path may lead instead go where there is no path and leave a shit trail" the late Chongo |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: Amos Date: 02 Jan 10 - 02:54 PM Ah, the protestations, the refusls to admit, the denials of sad truth, the desire to stop the very flow of time and make sad facts run backwards and be undone...believe me, I sympathize, I do. All the counterfeit posts in the world won't bring Chongo back, Little Hawk, Rest easy and keep breathing... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: Bill D Date: 02 Jan 10 - 03:37 PM Is Chongo dead? No |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: Little Hawk Date: 02 Jan 10 - 05:11 PM LOL! A picture is worth 1,000 words, Bill. Or in the case of Amos, 100,000 words. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: Amos Date: 02 Jan 10 - 05:26 PM Well, all that shows is that at some point in time (Bill does not specify) SOME chimp was alive (Bill does not say who). Sigh. I really understand all this protestation and wishing it were not so. He was well-loved throughout our little world here. But, as any veteran of Iraq or Afghanistan knows, when your number is up, it's up, and thee is no arguing with an IED. A |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: Little Hawk Date: 02 Jan 10 - 05:41 PM You are quite right. There IS no arguing with an Inadequately Educated Dimwit. That is why I seldom argue with Shane. I just let him think I agree with whatever he says, and he goes off happily and does something idiotic, and I am left in peace. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: Ed T Date: 02 Jan 10 - 06:05 PM I understand Shane was injured by an IUD? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: Little Hawk Date: 02 Jan 10 - 06:06 PM Could be. But I don't think that the very few misguided females who have "done it" with Shane ever use those things.... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: Ed T Date: 02 Jan 10 - 06:14 PM I suspect they would be cautious....fearing spawning a mini Shane? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: Little Hawk Date: 02 Jan 10 - 06:17 PM Any girl that gets involved with Shane is, by definition, totally lacking in caution of any kind. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: Ed T Date: 02 Jan 10 - 06:37 PM Like the type seen omn "J-e-r-r-y", or "Maury" , or worse? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: Rapparee Date: 02 Jan 10 - 06:40 PM Shame hasn't enough, well, length to be injured by anything other than his own zipper. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: Little Hawk Date: 02 Jan 10 - 06:42 PM How do you know? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: Ed T Date: 02 Jan 10 - 06:56 PM Just in case Sane needs this...when he gets (nude) into his ski-doo suit (never heard he was Jewish): http://www.cirp.org/library/treatment/zipper/flowerdew/ |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: Ed T Date: 02 Jan 10 - 07:06 PM Beware Shane, of IUD asociated injuries (graphic content follows) : http://mymedjokes.blogspot.com/2009/09/penis-fracture-impossible.html |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: Little Hawk Date: 02 Jan 10 - 07:08 PM He is definitely not Jewish. He's an Irish-Canadian mongrel of indeterminate culture and no religion whatsoever. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: Amos Date: 02 Jan 10 - 07:23 PM A reporter from the overseas department of the UPI just emailed me to say he had a midnight visitation from Chongo, furious about the reports of his demise and threatening to bite the face off of anyone who forwarded them. It is possible the reports were exaggerated, an honest error I am sure that can only be attributed to the fog of war. The reporter tried to tell his phantasm visitor to fuck off, but the spectre rejoined by biting a gash in his forearm for which he has now been hospitalized. More breaking news on this scandalous story as it is becomes known. Is Chongo actually alive? Was he blown clear of the culvert? Did he spend three frozen nights and days limping over the cruel plains of Afghanistan making his way back to the Green Zone, his shoes in ribbons and his fingers thick with frostbite? Tune in next week. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: Little Hawk Date: 02 Jan 10 - 07:37 PM Oh, my....such drama! Well, you never can tell with this sort of thing, can you? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: Rapparee Date: 02 Jan 10 - 07:39 PM Apparently he got into a sticky situation in the public library several times, and the janitor had to go free him. Librarians talk to each other, especially about things like that. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: Bobert Date: 02 Jan 10 - 07:42 PM I'm so confused... I mean, one minue he's dead, the next he's not... Then he supposedly posts and then Eb points out that the post is prolly done by some imposter 'cause it don't sound like Chongz... Then there's more reports of his demise excpet Bill has a piccure of him and he looks alive... But then someone says it ain't him and seein' as all monkeys look alike who really knows??? All I know is that what old-ster says about Chongz being here and me givin' him some of my moonshine ain't right at all... First of all, he ain't been here... I ain't seen him since we opened my campaign headquarters in North Carolina... Second, the P-Vine has taken mental possession of that shine and that's a bad thing fir anyone, Chongz and me included on the list, 'cause the womanz 'ill keep yer sorry ass away from her jug... But until I hear fir sure, then I'll go on continuing to mourn and get it over with... I hate lettin' grief continue on and on and on and... B~ |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: Little Hawk Date: 02 Jan 10 - 07:45 PM How do you take mental possession of moonshine? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: Ed T Date: 02 Jan 10 - 08:11 PM Maybe he was bitten by a camel spider? Or, kicked in the face by the toe of a Camel he was riding? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: Bobert Date: 02 Jan 10 - 09:19 PM Here's how the P-Vine does it, LH... She says, "Touch my shine and I'll kill ya... Got it???" Yeah, I know... Johnnie brought it to me but she is a shine-head... She says it's the only thing that she can use when she's feeling sickly... I think that is alot of bull but what are ya' gonna do??? I mean, a man can either be right or a man can be happy... But not both... At least married men, that is... Right there in the Bible... B~ |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: Little Hawk Date: 02 Jan 10 - 09:46 PM Oh, I see...that's sorta the way Chongo does "mental possession" too. You hafta respect that sort of thing, and it's just plain stupid not to, if you ask me. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: Rapparee Date: 02 Jan 10 - 09:55 PM CHONGO CHIMP: APE OF THE UNDEAD!! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp Date: 02 Jan 10 - 10:03 PM That is one hell of a good idea for a movie, Rap. Geez. I gotta call my pals in Hollywood and see if they know a good scriptwriter to flesh it out. - Chongo |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: Ed T Date: 02 Jan 10 - 10:13 PM Is there a message in here? http://chimpage.com/blog/ |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: Bobert Date: 03 Jan 10 - 10:50 AM Well, gol danged... An Abe Lincoln monkey... What'll they think of next??? Monkey center-folds??? Monkey brain surgeons??? Monkey rocket scientists??? All monkey NFL football teams??? No, no... Monkey folks musicans... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: Ebbie Date: 03 Jan 10 - 12:06 PM Haven't checked it out thoroughly but I believe that the source of the Abe Lincoln chimp story is British, not American, based on "the United States government WERE", not WAS, as Americans would say. And what would they know about it? ha, I say. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: Ed T Date: 03 Jan 10 - 01:10 PM Posibly British historic origin....but....Some say the lincoln-monkey story orginated from David H. Strother and associates. He was born in West Virginia, was from a slave-owning family, and was opposed to secession. He was an artist and writer for Harper's Weekly who went by the pseudonym "Porte Crayon'. Here is a cartoon attributed to him:http://www.cartage.org.lb/en/themes/arts/drawings/Cartoonography/americacaricature/AbrahamLincoln/monkey.htm |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: Bobert Date: 03 Jan 10 - 01:19 PM Actually, George W has that monkey kinda Neaderthal look to him... No offense, Chongz... That is, if yer still alive... B~ |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: Little Hawk Date: 03 Jan 10 - 01:45 PM The really weird thing about the Emancipation Proclamation, according to what I've read, is that it freed slaves only in the Confederate states which were taking up arms against the Union but not the slaves in Union territory (and there were some slaves and slave owners in Union territory at that time). Thus it was an adroit political move by Lincoln, essentially strictly a propaganda move as it could obviously not be enforced upon the South at that time. It potentially threatened only the interests of the Confederacy while serving as a marvelous propaganda device to help persuade England and France not to support the Confederacy...as slavery was very much looked down upon in England and France. England and France had both been leaning toward supporting the Confederacy, as they would have preferred to see the USA split permanently into 2 weaker powers, but once Lincoln had "freed the slaves" it was no longer really possible for England and France to openly side with the Confederacy, as it would not have been politically acceptable to their general population. The War Between the States was not being fought to free the slaves in its earlier phase. It was being fought to restore the Union, and all Lincoln's rhetoric had indicated that...until he issued the Emancipation Proclamation. At that point the war became transformed into a moral crusade to free the slaves...and this was an idea that resonated far better with both the Union population (who were angry about conscription) and the European powers than a more prosaic struggle to simply "restore the Union" (which the English and French public certainly couldn't care less about...). It's been dressed up in far more idealistic terms since...sanitized, you might say, for modern consumption, but Lincoln did not go to war to free the slaves, he went to war to end secession and restore the Union. In a separate matter...people also tend to forget that (some of) the defenders of the Alamo were slave owners, while the Mexican government which fought them had outlawed slavery some time previously. There's usually more to the picture than is found in the popular eye. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: gnu Date: 03 Jan 10 - 03:02 PM Gosh. That is very enlightening. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: Ebbie Date: 03 Jan 10 - 04:20 PM The Emancipation Proclamation January 1, 1863 By the President of the United States of America: A Proclamation. "Whereas, on the twenty-second day of September, in the year of our Lord one thousand eight hundred and sixty-two, a proclamation was issued by the President of the United States, containing, among other things, the following, to wit: "That on the first day of January, in the year of our Lord one thousand eight hundred and sixty-three, all persons held as slaves within any State or designated part of a State, the people whereof shall then be in rebellion against the United States, shall be then, thenceforward, and forever free; and the Executive Government of the United States, including the military and naval authority thereof, will recognize and maintain the freedom of such persons, and will do no act or acts to repress such persons, or any of them, in any efforts they may make for their actual freedom. "That the Executive will, on the first day of January aforesaid, by proclamation, designate the States and parts of States, if any, in which the people thereof, respectively, shall then be in rebellion against the United States; and the fact that any State, or the people thereof, shall on that day be, in good faith, represented in the Congress of the United States by members chosen thereto at elections wherein a majority of the qualified voters of such State shall have participated, shall, in the absence of strong countervailing testimony, be deemed conclusive evidence that such State, and the people thereof, are not then in rebellion against the United States." Now, therefore I, Abraham Lincoln, President of the United States, by virtue of the power in me vested as Commander-in-Chief, of the Army and Navy of the United States in time of actual armed rebellion against the authority and government of the United States, and as a fit and necessary war measure for suppressing said rebellion, do, on this first day of January, in the year of our Lord one thousand eight hundred and sixty-three, and in accordance with my purpose so to do publicly proclaimed for the full period of one hundred days, from the day first above mentioned, order and designate as the States and parts of States wherein the people thereof respectively, are this day in rebellion against the United States, the following, to wit: Arkansas, Texas, Louisiana, (except the Parishes of St. Bernard, Plaquemines, Jefferson, St. John, St. Charles, St. James Ascension, Assumption, Terrebonne, Lafourche, St. Mary, St. Martin, and Orleans, including the City of New Orleans) Mississippi, Alabama, Florida, Georgia, South Carolina, North Carolina, and Virginia, (except the forty-eight counties designated as West Virginia, and also the counties of Berkley, Accomac, Northampton, Elizabeth City, York, Princess Ann, and Norfolk, including the cities of Norfolk and Portsmouth[)], and which excepted parts, are for the present, left precisely as if this proclamation were not issued. And by virtue of the power, and for the purpose aforesaid, I do order and declare that all persons held as slaves within said designated States, and parts of States, are, and henceforward shall be free; and that the Executive government of the United States, including the military and naval authorities thereof, will recognize and maintain the freedom of said persons." |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: Rapparee Date: 03 Jan 10 - 11:15 PM There's more. IF the states which had actually left the Union, the Emancipation Proclamation would be totally irrelevant to them. IF those states were still members of the Union (as the Union said) because secession wasn't possible, then the EP might well be unconstitutional because it took property without process of law (see the 5th Amendment). Frankly, I'm glad that Lincoln did it -- "Just as I would not be a slave, neither would I be a master." Now consider this, the 13th Amendment: Section 1. Neither slavery nor involuntary servitude, except as a punishment for crime whereof the party shall have been duly convicted, shall exist within the United States, or any place subject to their jurisdiction. Section 2. Congress shall have power to enforce this article by appropriate legislation. Note that slavery and involuntary servitude are abolished, effectively ratifying the EP. HOWEVER, note the exception "as a punishment for crime." Strictly speaking, I think you could become a slave if you were duly convicted. I really, really, really, wouldn't want to get embroiled in THAT, though! So...those in the US who, say, are convicted of threatening the President COULD POSSIBLY PERHAPS sold into slavery? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: Little Hawk Date: 03 Jan 10 - 11:35 PM Crooked politicians in league with crooked lawyers can take ANY constitution on Earth and commit travesties and injustices in its supposed name. Not that I'm saying Lincoln was a crook...I'm just saying there are always ways to get around the original intent of a constitutional document if you have sharp lawyers and determined politicians and compliant courts...not to mention a largely subservient media. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: Bobert Date: 04 Jan 10 - 08:27 AM See, that is one of the reasons why I have never followed the reasonin' that Lincoln was this great president... I guess if you glorify the Civil (which it wasn't) War then, yeah, Lincoln was a great man... But war shouldn't be the a guage by which we measure greatness... That's kinda what seperates me and Chongz if we were to become president... I'm more into findin common ground while Chongz, well, isn't... He's mnore the George W. kinda monkey, you know, shoot the joint up first and don't even bother to ask the questions later because he wouldn't understand the answers anyway... B~ |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: Rapparee Date: 04 Jan 10 - 08:38 AM "How would YOU clear a room?" the deputy sheriff asked me. "Toss in a frag and then spray it with automatic fire," I replied. "Ah," said the deputy, "I meant in police work." |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: Ed T Date: 04 Jan 10 - 09:10 AM You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink. Actually, this rule applies to anyone whom you routinely humiliate with saddles, riding whips and involuntary servitude. George MacMillan If the world were run by monkeys -- not just any monkeys, mind you, but monkeys with the power to unite nations and resolve previously insurmountable problems -- I bet we humans would still ridicule them for their bright-red hineys. Lisa Hollstegge Everybody's got something to hide except for me and my monkey. A lyric on the "White Album" by the Beatles |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: Jack the Sailor Date: 04 Jan 10 - 02:25 PM (Afghanistan mountains AP - Apesociated Press)Chongo Held Captive by Taliban. After the minor miracle of Chongo's having survived both IED and IUD attack he was then captured by Taliban elements near the Iranian border. At first a ransom was asked for his release but unofficial sources are now reporting that his captors are begging western governments to take him back. "Y'all can keep the filthy ape." A state department source was quoted as saying. Hostage footage. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: Bobert Date: 04 Jan 10 - 02:46 PM This is gettin' a tad too much for me emotionally... I mean, one day, he's dead, the next he's aline, then dead, then alive and now this... A friggin' hostage of the Taliban... Ain't this some convolted shit, 'er what... I'd say that I'd need foreignsics, you know, DNA, from Osama's boys before I spend any more emotional energy on this 'cause ya'll know that all monkeys look alike... Yeah, get the DNA... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: WalkaboutsVerse Date: 04 Jan 10 - 05:07 PM Maybe Chongo has just evolved on..? Poem 96 of 230: PARADIGMS "Thirty-all" is, in effect, "deuce"; Nobody has seen an "atom": An atom remains a model; "Thirty-all" an umpire's call. "They we just simply had to bomb"; And there are other given "truths"... If we humans evolved from apes, Why on earth are there living apes? From http://blogs.myspace.com/walkaboutsverse (e-book) Or http://walkaboutsverse.sitegoz.com (e-scroll) (C) David Franks 2003 |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: Little Hawk Date: 04 Jan 10 - 05:11 PM According to Chongo, humans are cousins of apes, but not superior to them in any way. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: Bobert Date: 04 Jan 10 - 05:21 PM Well, I certainly wouldn't argue with that, LH... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: Little Hawk Date: 04 Jan 10 - 05:35 PM I'm tellin you, man, you have much more in common with Chongo than you realize. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: Rapparee Date: 04 Jan 10 - 06:14 PM Bobert doesn't...well, I don't think he does...swing from trees. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: Bobert Date: 04 Jan 10 - 06:16 PM Well, LH, if ya' believe them gene-mappin' folks I got more in common with a mouse than than I would realize... A couple tweeks here an' there on the DNA and I'd be checkin' out Minnie Mouse with a different eye in my ol' commie books... Yezzir... Check out the tail on that one, Ralph... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: Bobert Date: 04 Jan 10 - 06:26 PM No, I don't swing from trees, Rap... Might of fact I've cut out all of my swingin' activities... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: robomatic Date: 04 Jan 10 - 06:51 PM Dead? Not Dead? Not Dead? Dead? zees iss a matter for zookeeper Schrödinger |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: Amos Date: 04 Jan 10 - 07:18 PM A forensic specialist team from the Army reports traces of telltale fur and fecal matter has been identified on minute pieces of shrapnel from the IED explosion site by the side of the road leading to Kandahar. They conclude from the evidence that Chongo had the shit blown out of him. It is possible he just ad the shot scared out of him, but in that case he must have blown a seal. A |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: Bobert Date: 04 Jan 10 - 07:32 PM Sumabich blew a seal in North Carolina, Amos... Cost me a danged election... But if he is blowed up then lemme jus say that "Hey, Chongz... It's okay... Obama doin' a btter job than I woulda done... Really..." "Oh, yeah... Sorry you got yer ass blowed up..." Sniff... B~ |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: Rustic Rebel Date: 04 Jan 10 - 07:52 PM Your bound to look like a monkey when you get old..... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: Bobert Date: 04 Jan 10 - 09:24 PM Just came from visitin' a friend in the nursin' home, RR, and I think yer on to somethin' here... BTW, long time, no hear... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: Ed T Date: 04 Jan 10 - 09:33 PM Quite Simial. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: Ed T Date: 04 Jan 10 - 09:43 PM Didn't Congo order a gross of banana-flavored condoms just before Christmas.? Too bad he will never get to wear 'em. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: Ed T Date: 04 Jan 10 - 09:45 PM Gee, he's only dead a few days and I'm spelling his name already. Next thing I'll be calling the late Chongo "Donkey Kong". |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: Ed T Date: 04 Jan 10 - 09:58 PM No wonder Chongo had those Middle Eastern folks so confused. He thought he was running away....but he was running towards 'em....he had the shits and was yell'in clyster bombs....they thought he was saying cluster bombs. And he was yelling Geronimo....they thought he was say'in Guantanamo. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: Ed T Date: 04 Jan 10 - 10:23 PM Well....someone has to do it. I Tried to come up with some content for an obituary....this is about all I could think of: OBIT-Chongo He had no hobbies, made no worthy contribution to the world, had no loved ones and rarely did a kind deed in his life. His presence will be missed by few, if any at all. Few tears will be shed over his passing. He did like bananas and dope. Can anyone else come up with something more than this to put in the papers? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: Little Hawk Date: 04 Jan 10 - 10:54 PM What a shameful misrepresentation, Ed! Shocking! Chongo is not into dope at all...he's into whisky and cigars...and women, of course. He has numerous hobbies, most of which involve firearms, whisky, cigars, period automobiles of the 30s and 40s...and women. He has done much valuable law enforcement in Chicago and elsewhere and once beat the tar out of a guy who took candy from a baby. The only part you got right was that he likes bananas. That gives you a grade of about 5% on accuracy. I sure hope you never compose my obituary! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: Rapparee Date: 04 Jan 10 - 11:08 PM How about this: Chongo Chimp of Chicago passed away in a big-ass explosion outside Khandahar, Afghanistan last week. Well know for his love of cigars, whiskey, and mayhem-causing devices, he was on the run from the Chicago Police when he was splattered all over the Afghan landscape. Chinga Chimp of Milwaukee, who claims to be his sister, said, "He'll be missed, I guess. He owes about everybody money." Big Ape Louie of Evanston said, "It's a good thing for him. My boys were gonna take that punk apart when he came back to town. Now we got him in parts, ha ha!" According to his wishes Mr. Chimp will be cremated, if enough pieces can be found. He leaves no living relatives (other than his purported sister) who will admit to it. Condolences, congratulations, and stuff can be sent to your Congressperson. Burial will be in Lake Michigan. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: Little Hawk Date: 04 Jan 10 - 11:13 PM That's a fair bit better, Rapaire. You'll have to hang onto it, I guess, until he actually really does die. You should know, though, that he has a number of relatives who are presently quite perturbed over all this inaccurate hoo-hah...and Chinga isn't one of them. The part about him owing "just about everbody" money is...well...reasonably accurate. He'll pay it all back after he wins the presidency in 2012. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: Sawzaw Date: 04 Jan 10 - 11:41 PM Last time I heard, he was employed as a body double for Ahmadinejad |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: Little Hawk Date: 05 Jan 10 - 12:12 AM No way. Chongo is much handsomer than that. (and so is Ahmadinejad for that matter) (but Chongo is way cuter) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: Ed T Date: 05 Jan 10 - 08:02 AM OK, if 5 % is good enough for Shane in an exam, its good enough for me. I misunderstood...his involvement with the Poppy Lords threw me off....I thought he may have been taken over by the lure....or speculated that maybe he went undercover... Lets get it straight.....if he was in Afganistan....how did he intersect with the Iranians....or, was this just early speculation? I was looking for a picture of Chongo, any resemblance in one of these? http://my.opera.com/TogaOga/blog/monkeys http://news.sky.com/skynews/Home/World-News/Chimpanzees-Mourn-Death-Of-A-Friend-Photograph-Captures-Silent-Tribute-In-Cameroon/A |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: Leadfingers Date: 05 Jan 10 - 08:25 AM 100 |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: Bobert Date: 05 Jan 10 - 08:32 AM Well, I understand why LH woould be in denial... I mean, if it were Shane I wouldn't expect this level of head-in-the-sandin' but it isn't... Sniff... So, I think we all owe to the poor ol' Canuk to just let him go thru the grievin' process... Whaddaya'llthink??? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: Amos Date: 05 Jan 10 - 08:52 AM Well, I for one am sorry the little asshole is gone. He was allus good fer a laugh, ya know? An' although he did not owe me any money because I wouldn't spot him any, his evasive antics in the face of creditors were very droll. So I will miss the little bastard and I yam sorry he's dead. A |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: Rapparee Date: 05 Jan 10 - 08:52 AM Yeah, Bobert, that would be the right thing to do, I guess. On second thought, nah. It's not like we're saying bad things about the dead or anything. Maybe the late Chongo will have one of those big gangster funerals, like Dion O'Bannion had. I can see it now: two miles of cars following a Chicago trash truck decked out in black and lots of flowers, slowly wending its way down to the Sanitation Dock, to be unloaded into a barge for a "burial at sea." Strains of music, stuff like "Black Snake Moan" and "Shake, Baby, Shake" drift on the breeze as the barge puts out to lake...later, a celebration of his life is held in a phone booth. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: Ed T Date: 05 Jan 10 - 09:59 AM Maybe LH could be given a task, to get the grief off his mind. Also, Canadian William ~ Shatner is a known lover of Ape's Gorillas and Monkeys. He may be a good fit to deliver the Eulogy? http://fr.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: Ed T Date: 05 Jan 10 - 09:59 AM If Shatner cant fit it into his schedule....my second suggestion would be Joan Rivers. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: Ed T Date: 05 Jan 10 - 10:03 AM ....and then there is always Canadian Pamela Anderson, Dog the Bounty Hunter, Larry Flint, Don King, or Don Imus? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: Ed T Date: 05 Jan 10 - 10:25 AM "OK LH, he's not dead, he's just electroencephalographically challenged. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: Ebbie Date: 05 Jan 10 - 11:20 AM He does *too* have relatives |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: Little Hawk Date: 05 Jan 10 - 11:44 AM I like your idea about the Chicago funeral procession, Rapaire. The celebration of his life, however, would undoubtedly be held in a downtown Chicago bar...if not several of them. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: Amos Date: 05 Jan 10 - 11:47 AM I believe those are photos of Little Hawk the last time he dressed up for a job interview, Ebb... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: Little Hawk Date: 05 Jan 10 - 11:55 AM That was one hell of a long time ago. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: Ebbie Date: 05 Jan 10 - 12:49 PM Ah, great one! lol |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: Bobert Date: 05 Jan 10 - 01:01 PM Didja' get the job, LH??? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: Little Hawk Date: 05 Jan 10 - 04:45 PM Yeah, Bobert, I did. It was a job at Radio Shack back in the early 90s...and boy, what a stinker of a job it was! My boss was the absolute worst boss I've ever seen or heard of...in his attitude toward the staff, though he was an incredible salesman...which is why they're promoted him to manager! Big mistake. Everyone who worked under him finally quit and left the silly bastard in the store all by his lonesome, at which point Radio Shack "kicked him upstairs" where he could do less damage (hopefully), brought in a brand new manager, and they started over from scratch with that store. Radio Shack is gone now and Circuit City has taken their place. You can hardly tell the difference. I'd rather polish Amos's shoes every day and pray to an idol of George Bush than work for those fuckers again, no matter what they call themselves. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: Bobert Date: 05 Jan 10 - 06:41 PM Yeah, Radio Shack is the pits... I knew a gril/womanperson who worked fir them and she was a basket case from it... I kept tellin' her that she needed another job but they must had some bad piccures of her with farm animals or farm hands that she didn't want her parents to see 'cuase last I knew she was still there... Circuit City is just as bad... One of my son-in-laws worked there and he said they was crooks and ran the store as if it was a cotton field... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: Little Hawk Date: 05 Jan 10 - 07:07 PM Yeah....they basically pay you minimum wage, treat you like crap for it, and try to brainwash you into become a psychotically manipulative little sales creep who bamboozles unsuspecting members of the public into buying all kinds of stuff they don't need and weren't even planning to buy when they walked through the door. There are audio and videotapes you can study at home after work to turn you into a super sales-creep who could sell ice to eskimos or shit to a pig farmer. This is the kind of person my boss was. He was born for it. As you got to know him, your initial caution turned rapidly into loathing, then into sheer hatred. He made Steve Dallas (remember him?) look like a nice honest guy. ;-) He was also having an affair with some woman on the side while trying to patch up his failing marriage with his wife at the same time and he insisted on talking to the employees about it. One of a kind. If Chongo had been around this guy for long, he would have either shot him or taken him out in the alley and beaten him to a pulp. Mind you, he probably would not have hired Chongo... ;-) But he would certainly have tried to sell him something expensive. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: Lizzie Cornish 1 Date: 05 Jan 10 - 07:25 PM Word on the streets of Chichongo is that he's revived his old band, quite literally, and they're playing in The Joynt next Saturday night! Chongo and The Chingos |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: Lizzie Cornish 1 Date: 05 Jan 10 - 07:30 PM Er....are these Shane's Girlies? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: Little Hawk Date: 05 Jan 10 - 07:41 PM Nice jazz band! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: Ed T Date: 05 Jan 10 - 08:32 PM Howz about some Red Rose Tea anyone? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XXEQhsZrkM8 |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: Ed T Date: 05 Jan 10 - 08:55 PM It is amazing how many websites have Radio Shack sucks in them....most telling employee tales....the more employees you p-off and leave....in todays world, the more likely negative sites go up. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: Rapparee Date: 05 Jan 10 - 09:43 PM I have come by the following. I cannot say more than that. CLASSIFICATION TOP SECRET EYES ONLY PRIORITY Alpha Alpha Alpha TO Specops kht 66 FROM Orange 6 DATETIME 1001051231Z Can confirm chimp held coordinates BS3978129 MA971283/Visual, humint and |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: Ebbie Date: 05 Jan 10 - 11:32 PM Tell them Yes!, Rap. Tell them Yes! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: Rapparee Date: 06 Jan 10 - 09:25 AM I can't, Ebbie. I'm not even supposed to HAVE that and I can't tell you how I got it. But apparently Chongo is wounded in the arm, leg, and scrotum (I knew all along he'd get his balls shot off someday). If I learn more I'll post it. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: Lizzie Cornish 1 Date: 06 Jan 10 - 10:28 AM Rappy, I'm sorry to have to tell you this, but that note...it's false, put out by Chongo himself to cover his real whereabouts, because hell, if *this* got out, he'd *never* be able to live it down! The Chimp in the Middle |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: Rapparee Date: 06 Jan 10 - 06:13 PM Please don't "out" Chongo. I know, I know, but he's got enough troubles right now without being caught up in the "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" thing. Wait until we see if it's really him. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: Ed T Date: 06 Jan 10 - 08:30 PM If Chongo makes it be because of his primitiv survival instincts, not from lessons learned from humans. I suspect there will be no storming of the caves, as it could lead to an ambush. They will likely go in with dingies, under the cover of darkness to rescue him. They are likely to create a diversion at the onset, with choppers and cannon fire. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: Little Hawk Date: 07 Jan 10 - 12:52 AM What? In Chicago? Surely you jest. That would violate city ordinances. Look, Chongo has never gotten into any tight spot that he couldn't shoot his own way out of. Tell the military to stand down. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: Rapparee Date: 07 Jan 10 - 03:39 PM LH, I don't think he'll be shooting his way out of this. Remember, he's had his balls shot off. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: Ebbie Date: 07 Jan 10 - 05:13 PM lol |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: Bobert Date: 07 Jan 10 - 07:35 PM Where do shot off balls go??? Nevermind... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: Rapparee Date: 07 Jan 10 - 09:20 PM There's a legend from the American Civil War about a soldier who was shot in the testicles. The bullet passed through him and wounded a nearby woman in the stomach, and she became pregnant by the sperm carried on the bullet as it passed through the now-dead soldier. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead??? From: Ebbie Date: 07 Jan 10 - 09:46 PM And then she took the child and went down to the river and put him in a basket and set it loose on the current... |
