BS: Mudwomenz... Is this a good idea???

Subject: BS: Mudwomenz... Is this a good idea???
From: Bobert
Date: 30 Apr 10 - 08:15 PM

Okay, seems that every time I gotta go out and mow the grass I find myself gettin' off and on the tractor about 5 zillion times to pick up stuff that the P-Vine has left where she last used it... Immean, like garden tools and hoses and plastic planters and chairs and, and...

Now don't get me wrong, I loves the gal but it drives me crazy... Her gardening mentor, no matter when we just stop in to see here, never leaves stuff out...

So I was thinking of taking the stuff to an "impound" area... You know, like my tool shed where I could just lock it up fir a few days until she signed a staement that she would not leave that particular item out again???

I mean, this sounds like I'm tryin' to be some control freek but it ain't that at all... She asks me to keep my clothes put away and I do that so why not the same consideration for garden stuff???

And, yes, I have asked her but it ain't gettin' fixed...

B~

(Yer gonna get the blast fir this one, Boberdz...)

Well, okay... I might....

Subject: RE: BS: Mudwomenz... Is this a good idea???
From: beardedbruce
Date: 30 Apr 10 - 08:17 PM

Foolish Bobert!


Haven't you learned that there are two sets of rules of behaviour- those YOU must follow, and those SHE has the option of following when it suits her???

Subject: RE: BS: Mudwomenz... Is this a good idea???
From: Amos
Date: 30 Apr 10 - 08:17 PM

The BOBERT ENTERPRISE boldly goes where no man has dared to go before him....

Subject: RE: BS: Mudwomenz... Is this a good idea???
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Apr 10 - 09:10 PM

Run over them. No problem. I mean, you wouldn't get off the tractor to pick up a skunk, would you? Of course not! Just run over them like you would the skunk.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudwomenz... Is this a good idea???
From: Bobert
Date: 30 Apr 10 - 09:31 PM

Last year, Rap... I hit so many of them that it seems that I didn't go a month withut having to buy new bladees that were hopelessly bent... Ahhhh, not to mention, her tools and stuff...

What's the BOBERT ENTERPRISE, Amos??? That some kinda spaceship with a mower deck, 'er what???

I donno... But I do know that just running over the stuff hasn't worked... And pleading hasn't worked... And reasoning hasn't worked... So I figurated that impound might work...

Kinda reminds me of back in the early 70's when I went back to college and I moved in with a bunch of stoners and, man, these guys never washed a dish and the kitchen was a serious mess so I threw all the dishes, pots and apns out in the back yard and put up a sign that read "Don't spit on the soup, we've all got to eat (lyndon Johnson), Wash your fucking dishes (me)"... Hey, it worked with the stoners... Kinda a little behavior mod thing... And they thanked me fir it... Well, not immediately, mind yoy, but....

Hey, I like the "impound" idea...

My other idea was to just take the stuff and hide it where she thinks someone came and stole it??? But people don't come back here and she'd know I had the stuff... But that's still in the running...

B~

Subject: RE: BS: Mudwomenz... Is this a good idea???
From: katlaughing
Date: 30 Apr 10 - 10:35 PM

If you cannot run over it, safely, which you can't, I would throw it away. My grandson is learning it is a safety issue that he pick up after himself in the yard precisely because of the danger from running over something and having it fly out and hit someone, etc. My mom and dad both taught us to pick up after ourselves as we went about our work, esp. when cooking in the kitchen and, in dad's case, when welding and other outside work.

IF you want to preserve your life, impound them and/or find some kind of portable, on wheels?, catch-all, she can keep handy for tossing the stuff in, but she HAS to keep it picked up! How the heck does she find it when she needs it next?

Good luck!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudwomenz... Is this a good idea???
From: Sorcha
Date: 30 Apr 10 - 10:54 PM

Impound and then charge her a quarter per item to get it back! I get pure D Bloody H**L if I don't pick up the dog toys before he mows let alone tools!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudwomenz... Is this a good idea???
From: Ebbie
Date: 30 Apr 10 - 10:55 PM

Ahem. I have a sad story to tell you; it's a story that's never been told...

When I was a kid and playing outdoors I often left my stuff out when I came inside the house at night or when rain threatened. You know why? Because I knew the brother just older than I (I had four brothers) would gather it up and bring it in.

I say: Just toss the stuff in the fencerow(s) and tell her that you saved it from harm.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudwomenz... Is this a good idea???
From: Janie
Date: 01 May 10 - 12:55 AM

Suggestion. (prob'ly a hard one) Swap jobs for a bit, and have her do the mowing a time or three. That might bring home that it is not only the destruction of tools, it is also all the stopping and starting, climbing onto and off the mower, etc. Assuming you are talking about a tractor or riding lawn mower, but it don't really matter. Havin' to stop a push mower to move stuff, then yanking that cord to start it up again is equally a pain-in-the-butt. There is nothing quite like the experience of running over a tool you yourself left on the ground, and hearing and seeing the tool, the mower, or both, mangled....

Subject: RE: BS: Mudwomenz... Is this a good idea???
From: Janie
Date: 01 May 10 - 01:04 AM

...didn't finish...or the experience of all those stops and starts to deal with crap, including tools, left lying on the ground.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudwomenz... Is this a good idea???
From: Sorcha
Date: 01 May 10 - 01:07 AM

See? It isn't such a bad idea after all.

It's called Consequenses.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudwomenz... Is this a good idea???
From: GUEST,Guest from Sanity
Date: 01 May 10 - 02:01 AM

Pour oil and vinegar on the lawn, and tell your cow to go out and graze, and tell her to watch out for shit she left in the yard, so she doesn't chip her last tooth!

Grinning,
GfS

Subject: RE: BS: Mudwomenz... Is this a good idea???
From: mauvepink
Date: 01 May 10 - 06:43 AM

We are women... we have double standards to live up to! ;-)

Just see how happy it makes you having something to moan about lol

(somewhat tongue in cheek)

Have a lovely weekend in the garden!

;-)

mp

Subject: RE: BS: Mudwomenz... Is this a good idea???
From: Bobert
Date: 01 May 10 - 06:57 AM

Great ideas, folks... Well, the cow idea ain't 'cause other than 3 useless horses and four somewhat usefull cats we ain't got no cows here on this farm...

Yeah, Janie... In this case it's a riding mower which I have bypassed the kill-switch on the seat so I can, at least, get off the sumabich without havin' to restart it but I gotta disengage the power to the blades, take it out of gear and set the brake on it before gettin' off it... The do the same (in reverse) to resume mowing... Yes, it's a pain... BTW, you can tape the saftey bar to the handle on yer mower and that will allow it to run while yer doing something else... To kill it just take any tool with an insulated handle (like a shovel) and use the metal part to touch the end of the spark plug wire to ground (anything metal on the mower)...

As for swappin' jobs??? Shoot, this gal ain't getting on the tractor... I mean it, she ain't... That's men's work... lol... But, yeah, I have often thought about how she'd like it to have to deal with acreas of obsticles... The worst one was last year when I ran over one of those waterers that ya stick in the ground and it goes, "pfst, pfst, pfst" as it sprays a circle of water about 40 feet... That thing bent 2 of the three blades...

"Geeze, Honey, I'm so sorry..."

Ahhhhh, then how's about pickin' that stuff up when yer done then???

"Well, not that sorry..."

But I loves the gal... I sho nuff do... Maybe Amos's idea is the one... Just have Shatner's come mow with the BOBERT ENTERPRISE???

I donno... I'm so confused...

B~

Subject: RE: BS: Mudwomenz... Is this a good idea???
From: Amos
Date: 01 May 10 - 08:52 AM

Wal, you could install a large bunch of sheep and goats. The sheep will eat the grass and the goats will eat the metal stuff...



A

Subject: RE: BS: Mudwomenz... Is this a good idea???
From: Bobert
Date: 01 May 10 - 09:37 AM

Great idea, Amos... Problem is that if I were to do that then seein' as the goats would eat the P-Vine's massive ornimental gardens that in doing so I'd be getting rid of her, too... That won't work... Might of fact, the next farm over is Mr. Wilson's goat farm and them critters are just on the other side of the fence from the P-Vine's gardens... Used to worry her sick that one would come over the fence as the sumabichs can get over 'um and it ain't rare to find one in my driveway but...

...so far, so good... But she has learned how to shoot the .410...

Goat meat, anyone???

B~

Subject: RE: BS: Mudwomenz... Is this a good idea???
From: GUEST,Guest from Sanity
Date: 01 May 10 - 10:33 AM

mauvepink: "We are women... we have double standards to live up to! ;-)
Just see how happy it makes you having something to moan about lol"

No truer words have been spoken!!!!!!!
Great post!!!!

GfS

Subject: RE: BS: Mudwomenz... Is this a good idea???
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 May 10 - 10:47 AM

Bobert ol' buddy, have you considered that she's only thinking about your health? This way you get the exercise you need; if you didn't have to get on and off that chair you use to cut the grass you wouldn't get any exercise at all.

See? She's saving you from a heart attack or something.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudwomenz... Is this a good idea???
From: SINSULL
Date: 01 May 10 - 12:12 PM

Ah Bobbie. You insist on seeing problems where there are none. Do as you have always done - pick the crap up and put it out of the way. And if you bend three blades with your carelessness, don't blame P-Vine. She kept her part of the bargain.
I will never understand male logic.
SINS

Subject: RE: BS: Mudwomenz... Is this a good idea???
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 01 May 10 - 01:02 PM

Here at my house I "police the grounds" before I mow. This saves this kind of disruption of the mowing when it finally starts. Okay, the dogs see me coming and will leave a steaming pile in front of the mower, not on the already-mowed bit, but that doesn't bend blades if I hit it. I get the tools I might have left, the dog chews, balls, sticks, whatever, during that first cursory walk-through and then can mow safely.

SRS

Subject: RE: BS: Mudwomenz... Is this a good idea???
From: Amergin
Date: 01 May 10 - 01:08 PM

When I read the title I was thinking Bobert wondered if allowing women on Mudcat was a good idea....So I opened the thread to see a good show....

Subject: RE: BS: Mudwomenz... Is this a good idea???
From: Alice
Date: 01 May 10 - 01:13 PM

You should know it is standard safety procedure for you to walk the area and pick up loose things BEFORE you mow!! Whether they are hers or not, you are risking life and limb if you mow before you've done a sweep of the area to gather stick and other things, that could be projectiles if hit. Shame on you. (Whatever you pick up that is hers, pile it on the kitchen table for her to deal with).

Subject: RE: BS: Mudwomenz... Is this a good idea???
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 01 May 10 - 01:32 PM

See? Alice agrees! Dog poop doesn't need to go on the kitchen, it can go to the compost.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudwomenz... Is this a good idea???
From: Bert
Date: 01 May 10 - 04:28 PM

Mow around the stuff.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudwomenz... Is this a good idea???
From: Amergin
Date: 01 May 10 - 04:33 PM

Just throw them at her....that'll be sure to get her attention....

Subject: RE: BS: Mudwomenz... Is this a good idea???
From: Maryrrf
Date: 01 May 10 - 04:38 PM

I have to admit that I sympathize with Bobert. Yes he should check around before he mows, but it isn't fair for him to deal with tools and such strewn around helter skelter. Garden tools shouldn't be left out - all kinds of accidents could happen, like Bobert could step on the end of a cultivator and the handle could hit him in the face. And he claims that in the house, he doesn't leave his stuff lying around, so fair is fair. I think the plan is good, but it might upset P-Vine and she may get angry with Bobert. The passive/aggressive method would be to pick the stuff up and hide it. Then when she asks "Do you know where that cultivator/hoe/garden hose/watering bucket or whatever is?". Just say "Um....I think I remember picking it up but I just can't remember where I put it." Conveniently "forget" where you put it and when you think it's time, then remember.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudwomenz... Is this a good idea???
From: gnu
Date: 01 May 10 - 04:44 PM

SINS!!!... "I will never understand male logic." Whaaaa? Finishing any job means putting the lid down, no? >;-)

Back when I was a serf, whatshername used to clutter the yards and the walkway and the deck with all manner of ornaments and potted plants. The "Cat Crossing" sign was the last straw. I let the lawns grow and when she asked when I was gonna mow I replied, "Not my job anymore. And, BTW, I have on my To-Do list NOT to replace the potted plants on the deck stairways the next time I knock them over carrying sommat up or down the stairs." Plants on the stairs? That is "womenz" stuff.

I will never understand female logic.

PS... the rose bushes next to the front door... salt. Sum'bitches use to bite me and whatever I was carrying like a junkyard dog. Rose bushes next to a door? Womenz!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudwomenz... Is this a good idea???
From: gnu
Date: 01 May 10 - 06:12 PM

Hmmm... youse all enjoying the spring weather? I figured I could get a rise er even a roll with that fly. Apparently, youse have lives.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudwomenz... Is this a good idea???
From: katlaughing
Date: 01 May 10 - 06:18 PM

My Rog has a scab on his arm that looks like he got in a fight with a junkyard dog. In truth it was a rosebush by the outdoor water faucet, planted a long time before we bought the place. It is a beautiful plant, but quite wicked if one is not careful!

Bobert, the other alternative is to hire a kid to come clean up the stuff then give her the bill or somesuch.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudwomenz... Is this a good idea???
From: Bobert
Date: 01 May 10 - 08:08 PM

I donno about these ideas... Throwing the stuff at her is definately not one to be considered... My arm ain't what it used to be and it might come back alot harder than I threw it...

As fir the female mind??? Ahhhhh, as per usual, I am clueless but curious...

As fir payin' some kid to round the stuff up??? Hey, this is Page Co., Va. and most kids are meth-heads and the one's that ain't won't leave when the job is done...

No, I was thinking that maybe Plan B is the eway to go... There's where I put on a helmit, gloves, body armor and just run everything over, bend the blades, take 'um off and leave 'um on the front seat of her car with a note "You owe me 3 blades"....

Whaddayathink about that one ??? I mean hoses shreaded and pieces of garden tools all over her gardens and her prized watering can lookin' like somethin' from Ground Zero???

(Take a chill pill, Boberdz, and just go lie down in some quiet spot fir about 10 hours...)

B~

Subject: RE: BS: Mudwomenz... Is this a good idea???
From: Amergin
Date: 01 May 10 - 09:27 PM

You know, bobert, I think you have a point....I still have the scars from all the times I've pissed off the womenfolk.....but I still do it....maybe some part of me likes the attention.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudwomenz... Is this a good idea???
From: Bobert
Date: 01 May 10 - 09:51 PM

Ya' know, A-gin... That's what makes life worth it... You know, pissin' off the womenz and livin' (or not) to enjoy the memories... I mean, like my poor old 4 time divorced bother says, "No guts, no glory"... I mean, I'm serious;u rethinkin' my impound idea in favor of mowin' shovels, pots with purdy azaleas in 'um, hoses and, well, everything...

(Then Boberdz woke up...)

(Ypou do that dumbass stuff, Boberds, an' yer gonna be in a load of trouble... I mean, you think you got troubles now???? Think about it, Big Guy!!!)

Okay, I ain't gonna run over all that stuff... That was just me talkin' big... You know, like I am king of the hill... Sheet fire, if the P-Vine came i here right now and read this she'd, ahhhhhhh, put a buttwhup on me so bad that I'd have to wear a paper bag over my head fir a a year...

But I ain't quite given up on the "impound" idea...

B~

Subject: RE: BS: Mudwomenz... Is this a good idea???
From: Sorcha
Date: 01 May 10 - 10:05 PM

I wouldn't either Bobert. It does work. Esp if you charge her say, a buck per item.

BTW, dog poo does NOTHING for the compost pile. Nothing. Not like other manure. Look it up if you don't belive me.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudwomenz... Is this a good idea???
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 01 May 10 - 11:01 PM

I've looked it up. Dog and cat droppings are just fine in the compost. It all breaks down. That's an old wives tale that you can't put it in.

Bobert, does P-vine read Mudcat? Has your keyboard become inexplicably tough to use (or find) lately?

SRS

Subject: RE: BS: Mudwomenz... Is this a good idea???
From: Amos
Date: 02 May 10 - 12:02 AM

Lock 'em up, in the garden shed, and stand tall, Bobez. What have you got to lose???


A

(DON'T answer that....)

Subject: RE: BS: Mudwomenz... Is this a good idea???
From: LilyFestre
Date: 02 May 10 - 12:12 AM

Bobert....Sweet Bobert...Gonna Get Hiself Killed Bobert.....

   I have to agree with Stilly on this one. Take a walk around the yard and just pick stuff up before you ever even fire up your tractor. It might be a pain in the butt....BUT.....what does P-Vine pick up of yours? Laundry? Dishes? etc.?
    If Mr. Pete ever impounded my stuff like that, I'd be PISSED and start hiding HIS stuff! And he'd get mad and you can see what the cycle would be.

Be sweet to your girl. She loves you, ya know?

Michelle

Subject: RE: BS: Mudwomenz... Is this a good idea???
From: GUEST,Guest from Sanity
Date: 02 May 10 - 01:16 AM

Bobert: "Okay, seems that every time I gotta go out and mow the grass I find myself gettin' off and on the tractor about 5 zillion times to pick up stuff that the P-Vine has left where she last used it... Immean, like garden tools and hoses and plastic planters and chairs and, and..."

Okay, okay okay!..You're making this a lot harder than it should be!
Get righteously drunk, and FALL off the tractor, it will save you have the trouble! ....and while your down there grab something next you you, toss it, and get back on the damn bronco!...till you fall off again!

GfS

Subject: RE: BS: Mudwomenz... Is this a good idea???
From: Ebbie
Date: 02 May 10 - 01:54 AM

Michele is right, Beaubear. Life is short at the best of times.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudwomenz... Is this a good idea???
From: Bobert
Date: 02 May 10 - 10:16 AM

I kinda like the righteosly drunk part, GfS... Of course it doesn't solve much and puts a mighty hurt in this poor ol boney hillbilly's head but, hey, I got experience... No, that was not boney head, or bonehead, fir that matter... Just that I ain't all that beefed up...

But nevermind the beef fir now... Yeah, Michelle, I do walk around and try to find the stuff... It's like an Easter Egg Hunt... But with as much mowing as I have to do, plus the P-Vine knowing no boundarys for gardening, it ain't all that easy...

And fir the record, I put all my stuff away... Did so even before being sent off to military school where I recieved a PhD in putting stuff away... The P-Vine, however... We ain't goin' there...

This is the part that I don't understand... She loves the gardens when everything is put away and freshly mowed... And she loves giving tours of the gardens and her gardening mentor once said that the garden is supposed to be peaceful and it can't be that way with tools everywhere... She unnerstands this in her head... It's just gettin' that head stuff into her tummy where she actually changes but...

...alas, if there is one bit of wisdom I have picked up in my life it's this: People don't change, they get more so...

Well, we have a tour coming at 3 today and another tomorrow so I had better get my pickin'-up clothes on and get out there...

B;~(

Subject: RE: BS: Mudwomenz... Is this a good idea???
From: GUEST,Guest from Sanity
Date: 02 May 10 - 11:17 AM

OR.....all the crap in the yard...put it on the toilet seat!!!!!

GfS

Subject: RE: BS: Mudwomenz... Is this a good idea???
From: GUEST,Bizibod
Date: 02 May 10 - 11:43 AM

How 'bout you tell her when you're going to do it, and give her a head start to clear the way ? Sounds reasonable....

Subject: RE: BS: Mudwomenz... Is this a good idea???
From: Bert
Date: 02 May 10 - 11:57 AM

I still think mowing around it will work. Make a joke out of it.

"Well you wouldn't want me to run them over would you?"

Or You could throw away the worst one and buy her a new one. Present it to her and say "Sorry I ran over your old one."

Subject: RE: BS: Mudwomenz... Is this a good idea???
From: LilyFestre
Date: 02 May 10 - 12:39 PM

My husband says you should say, "Honey, I'm getting ready to go mow, how about you come give me a hand picking up stuff?" Make it a together kinda deal...an invitation of sorts.

Michelle

Subject: RE: BS: Mudwomenz... Is this a good idea???
From: Alice
Date: 02 May 10 - 12:47 PM

Michelle makes a good point. Do you even tell your wife you are going to mow the lawn, or are you complaining that she hasn't read your mind? Tell her you are mowing, so she has time to put things away.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudwomenz... Is this a good idea???
From: GUEST,leeneia
Date: 02 May 10 - 02:47 PM

Bobert, I suggest you start mowing around the items she has forgotten, creating a crazy quilt of high grass and low grass around your house.

That will motivate her like anybody's business, I'd wager.

A hose now, that's a different story. You should check that the hoses are wound up even before getting the mower out of the shed.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudwomenz... Is this a good idea???
From: Rowan
Date: 02 May 10 - 07:07 PM

What's all this nonsense about mowing lawns?

Expand the beds and put in paths, without grass, between them.

Both your problems are then solved; she gets an even bigger garden and you sell the mower with relaxation-aids bought from the proceeds.

Cheers, Rowan

Subject: RE: BS: Mudwomenz... Is this a good idea???
From: SINSULL
Date: 02 May 10 - 07:39 PM

Busy weekend.
Gnu! Cellar!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudwomenz... Is this a good idea???
From: Bobert
Date: 02 May 10 - 08:19 PM

I like the idea of just having paths and I guess that one day thet may become a reality... But we are gardening on approx 5-6 acres and there's only but so much plant material and time to mulch and water and keep everyone happy... That means there's gonna be alot of grass to be mowed...

Mowing around stuff other than hoses??? I'll give that some consideration... Of course, I know it's gonna start a danged argument where she is going to threaten to quit washing clothes, 'er somethin' that she does... And then I'll say, "Fine, I'll quit working and making the money to buy all these plants" and then she'll say... And I'll say... And next thing ya' know I'm sleepin' on the couch...

I'm a wuss...

B~

Subject: RE: BS: Mudwomenz... Is this a good idea???
From: kendall
Date: 02 May 10 - 08:33 PM

You mean I'm supposed to pick stuff up before I mow? Maybe that's what is causing those awful noises. I ran over something today and it made a hell of a racket. I didn't see it until pieces of it came flying out the discharge chute. It used to be a limb off a willow tree.
That 18 hp engine really does a job on shit that has no business being on the lawn.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudwomenz... Is this a good idea???
From: Sorcha
Date: 02 May 10 - 08:48 PM

Xeriscape Bobert. Stuff that doesn't need a lot of water....