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MudCat Tavern - Round 7
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Subject: RE: MudCat Tavern - Round 7 From: Roger the zimmer Date: 16 Aug 99 - 11:12 AM On reflection it was a mistake to challenge Big Mick in the first round gut-barging. Only just got my breath back. I should have picked on someone my own weight to start with. I should have tried the Pro-Am Possum Blowing. I'm not surprised that Mona didn't last long: she must have known lapdancing had no future in the Tavern, none of us have laps any more (too many delicious ethnic food recipes and drinks on offer here.) |
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Subject: RE: MudCat Tavern - Round 7 From: Lonesome EJ Date: 17 Aug 99 - 01:38 AM Well, Art said he was buying a free round of drinks for the veterans of the"true definition of Folk" thread battles, so line up, name yer poison and I'll slap'em down. Thanks Mick for the "No Irish Need Apply" tune that you sent me via Mediaring- and great bodhran playing, too. Of course, I'm no bodhran connoisseur so you could probably bang the bottom of an aluminum garbage can and fool me. bbc's only been gone two days, but I'm already wondering where we'll fine some fresh croissants and bearclaws in the morning. Left-over sausage and mushroom pizza, anybody? Got this postcard from Kesey who's touring England with the Pranksters. Gee, I never realized Stonehenge was fluorescent chartreuse. The other Beatniks are playing darts in the new Mudcat Tavern Dharma Room , and all say they are getting a lot more sleep since Kesey's been gone. |
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Subject: RE: MudCat Tavern - Round 7 From: bseed(charleskratz) Date: 17 Aug 99 - 02:07 AM Yeah, Leej, but I'll bet their dreams are boring. And Fadac: OH! Gimme a C! CEE! Gimme an A! EIGH! Gimme an R! ARRH! Gimme an I! EYE! Gimme an N! EHN! Gimme an A! EIGH! WHAT'S THAT SPELL? OCARINA! WHAT'S THAT SPELL? OCARINA ONCE MORE! AH-KAH-REE-NA! YA-A-A-A-Y (GRIN) And when are you gonna make it by the Starry Plough, buddy? Plus, of course, you missed Sonja's farewell appearance at the lighthouse (of course you were off at summer camp--how was that, anyway--aside from the ocarina chorus?) --seed |
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Subject: RE: MudCat Tavern - Round 7 From: Roger the zimmer Date: 17 Aug 99 - 04:00 AM I see I'm not going to get much commission this month, very quiet in here, everybody's on holiday, so I better cut down on deliveries. BTW next week on BBC radio ,aging indiepop, DJ John Peel, is narrating a series on 100 years of folk music. so now you know. Folk music started in 1899 when Cecil Sharp started collecting- official! I would imagine this series will be unmissable to those of the finger in the ear'ole end of folk music Me?I'm the kazoo, washboard and yell-out-of-tune end. This noticeboard continues to fascinate me (if no-one else) . I never realised the Tavern hosted so many activities: no-holds barred cross-stitch; pro-celebrity quilting, Tibetan five rhythms glee club. Marching band auditions "(no kazoo players wanted), must be prepared to travel to Antipodes" ( is that near Cognito?). Barber shop quartet, Hardware shop quintet... Drink your Metaxas quietly,Roger , you're killing this thread single handed. Must get back to the Neal Young Clinic, time for my jigsaw session, though they don't like me using a "Birmingham Screwdriver" when the pieces don't fit. Tara each. |
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Subject: RE: MudCat Tavern - Round 7 From: Peter T. Date: 17 Aug 99 - 11:35 AM I don't know about the Council of Three, but these image postings wreak havoc with my computer. Please don't do this any more, inner-galaxy menacers? It is really funny, and well done, but it makes even a bigger mess than Big Mick. yours, Peter T. |
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Subject: RE: MudCat Tavern - Round 7 From: Alice Date: 17 Aug 99 - 01:56 PM (Alice enters the tavern for the very first time, black satin dress with long black gloves...) So you are all going to ignore my recent post about the tango, eh?... well, I'm here to dance. Is there a man among you who knows how to tango a lady down the length of the room in that cat-like stroll? Who has the accordion, the ocarina, even a tiple to play a smoky, languid Tango? I'm burned out from working on tee shirt designs, I just took a dose of Imitrex for my migraine, I'm not a drinker, but I'm looking for a tango partner. Do you dare? |
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Subject: RE: MudCat Tavern - Round 7 From: MMario Date: 17 Aug 99 - 02:20 PM Somewhere in the background are the strains of "Hernandos Hideaway" *Presenting a long stemmed rose, still a barely opened bud, brilliantly red, with one crystal dewdrop on the outer petal* 'Tis been a quarter century m'lady, but I am willing to try. At least in the virtual Tavern you need not fear my stepping on your feet. |
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Subject: RE: MudCat Tavern - Round 7 From: Alice Date: 17 Aug 99 - 02:28 PM Thank you, sir. The lights dim, spotlight on MM and Alice, the sound of plaintive, love-sick bandoneon player and ocarina, the whisper of black slippers sliding across the dusty, wood floor. |
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Subject: RE: MudCat Tavern - Round 7 From: catspaw49 Date: 17 Aug 99 - 02:31 PM Hey all............whazzup? Leej you need another waitress to help out Beebs, like now when she's gone....plus school is starting pretty soon............This joints fallin' apart!...Sounds like y'all had some possum trouble........Hey It WAS NOT Cleigh, he was with me in Kentucky...got pictures of him checking in and Hot Tubbin' with me to prove it.......glad that bunch ain't after me!!! Gimme one on Art...just a bottle of pop for now......Say Leej, you're a Kentucky boy, you oughta' have some ALE 8 ONE around here......Brought a case back with me last weekend........ Who's the fox over there? Alice? WHOA!!!!.............Alice...Good to see you around here, adds a lot of class.......well we have some class here, but it's all low..........Lemme' show you what my health's like....Dance Floor or Jell-O Pit......Good choice......just one though, I gotta' go look for Fast Eddie........... Spaw |
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Subject: RE: MudCat Tavern - Round 7 From: Dave Swan Date: 17 Aug 99 - 03:13 PM Huddo E.J. I hab a bad code. Please sluice oud by sinuses wid subb 151 add a match. Tanks. E.S. |
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Subject: RE: MudCat Tavern - Round 7 From: harpgirl Date: 17 Aug 99 - 03:27 PM ...harp trips into the tavern, dripping wet from the river, her deerskin clinging to her form..."Hey all, I've got possum for stew!!! How about it?"... |
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Subject: RE: MudCat Tavern - Round 7 From: Alice Date: 17 Aug 99 - 04:08 PM and under Neon Lights, the dance goes on... |
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Subject: RE: MudCat Tavern - Round 7 From: MMario Date: 17 Aug 99 - 04:24 PM *adroitly avoiding the puddles on the floor* [and boy do I wish I could do that in real life]*sweeps his beautiful partner into a dip and brings the two hour long tango to a close* *discreetly mopping brow* Sorry, m'dear, I'm afraid my energy flags. I am sure that you will not lack for partners while I just go collapse...I mean sit a spell. |
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Subject: RE: MudCat Tavern - Round 7 From: Lonesome EJ Date: 17 Aug 99 - 04:25 PM Yumm, love dat possum. Basted in his own juices, and smothered in turnips and potatoes(which will drive Catspaw crazy figuring out which is which). Ale eight one?!? A LATE ONE? You done been to Winchester! World's best soft drink- we need to start blackmarketing those babies! Alice, I can't tango but I'll play this old 78 for you and Catspaw. It's called Fernando's Hideaway . |
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Subject: RE: MudCat Tavern - Round 7 From: Big Mick Date: 17 Aug 99 - 04:39 PM The Big Mick comes in, kicks the three possum off of his favorite stool.........they snarl and in an alien sounding voice they speak as one.........So, biggest friggin' earth man we have ever seen.......you apparently want to be atomized..........they turn their backs, lift their tales and prepare to fire......Hey 'Spaw, have you seen this, a set in D, C, and Bb.......These must be Susato possum.........The 'spaw comes running over and starts blowing possum arse for all he's got.......The leader of the possum sez....So sailor, you in town long?? Me and my friends are in Room 713 at the Mudcat Motel.......why don't you stop by later for a "Party"?.....The Big Fella just grins as 'Spaw curses him out, and the three little folks sashay outta the joint........So LEJ, just let me know if you have any problem getting rid of the varmints in the future.......My Gawd, Spaw, Fielding........do you see that absolute vision of loveliness over their dancing with MMario??? But Jazus, and do you suppose that HE FAIR ONE would be very upset if I danced with her?? Sometimes a fella's just got to live dangerous............huh?..........Shit, guy's you're right......I am just gettin' over that damn episode with the tutu and brass bra, I don't think my rep will take me doin' the ...........what'd you call that Spaw?.......Huh?.....the Tango....Hmmmm, might have to learn that one..........Naw, Rick, I must remain true to HE FAIR ONE, just a little mind wander there.......and by the way, I can get Koko back here to Tango with you.......Rick, hey man, come back.........I was just kidding.......it's just that she is so taken with you........Aww piss on it, barkeep, could I have a proper of the vile black stuff and a shorty of the Jimmers.......and put on Thieme's tab....he is so guilt ridden that we might be able to drink on him all night...........HEY ALICE, want to go learn some lyrics?????........Just kiddin' HE FAIR ONE, just kiddin'........ |
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Subject: RE: MudCat Tavern - Round 7 From: bseed(charleskratz) Date: 17 Aug 99 - 08:29 PM Hey, Mick: if you're gonna keep copyin' and pastin', copy the whole thing: "HE FAIR ONE"? --seedwhowouldneverevermakesuchanegregiouserror |
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Subject: RE: MudCat Tavern - Round 7 From: Big Mick Date: 17 Aug 99 - 10:18 PM Yea.......Yea...........make one little cut and paste error and right away someone with "cut and paste envy" has to jump on a fella. Yes, my friend, it should have read "THE FAIR ONE". LEJ, get seed a jar of whatever he needs, on me. Mick |
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Subject: RE: MudCat Tavern - Round 7 From: Lonesome EJ Date: 17 Aug 99 - 11:46 PM Hey mMario, I didn't see your post before I brought up Fernando's Hide-away , or was it Hernando. Either way, it may reveal that we have a fairly narrow scope of Tango tunes available. Alice, allow me to serve you an ice-cold Perrier to refresh you, if you can take that rose out from between your teeth for a minute. |
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Subject: RE: MudCat Tavern - Round 7 From: Alice Date: 17 Aug 99 - 11:52 PM phetoooooeee.... thank, you, kind sir. (wiping dew from my temples) my, it is hot in here, or could it just be the heat from the roasting Argentine beef in the firepit outside the back door?
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Subject: RE: MudCat Tavern - Round 7 From: Roger the zimmer Date: 18 Aug 99 - 04:37 AM ... demand for jello has dropped so much now you've all started dancing and moved the jello pit out of the way to make room for the possum litter tray that the boss has laid me off. However the Neil Young Center still let me out on day release with a bit of picket money so I'll just sit here quietly (honest!) and nurse a large one till they come to take me back. Pity the Ken Kesey bus trip was fully booked, perhaps that's why it's been so quiet in here. Ah, the music of the tango, the smell of a warm gaucho, a plate of llama stew, I keep expecting Alistair(UK) to turn up and start playing that tiple we keep for batting recalcitrant possums over the head with. I know I said I'd sit quietly but you didn't believe me did you? |
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Subject: RE: MudCat Tavern - Round 7 From: Alice Date: 18 Aug 99 - 10:08 AM ... what's that smell? Oh, possums... aren't they a member of the badger family? Badgers... Badgers... We don't need no stinkin' Badgers!!! They are causing havoc with loading this thread - can anyone remove these graphics from the page? -alice |
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Subject: RE: MudCat Tavern - Round 7 From: catspaw49 Date: 18 Aug 99 - 10:58 AM Ahh... Good Morning to one and all...........Say Zim, good to see you out...You could write the Kesey tour and ask for a seat on their next hop....Got an official Ken Kesey Airmail stamp you can use....Just stick it on and the letter flies there by itself.......and they're a LOT of fun to lick.....here ya' go................Mornin' there Alice......Know what you mean....Who posted those things anyway?..........Scared the tar out of this bunch though............LEEJ..LEEJ....HEY LEEJ..........Geez, where were you man..........HEY, FAR OUT!!!...You really found a bootleg for Ale 8 One......Great!!! Well, til it arrives, just give me your latest concoction....Beautiful day, even if I do have to clean carpets.......Where's the drink Leej? ......Say what? This is it?.......Look here man, there ain't nothin' here but a cocktail napkin...and a used one at that....So where's the drink?........That's it?....Uh, either I'm a little slow on the uptake, I've gone blind from licking those Kesey stamps, or you need to check in at the Center.........THERE AIN'T NO DAMN DRINK SITTIN' HERE!!!!........There is huh?.........So while I give the Center a ring, maybe you could tell me what you call this?.........(THWUMP-sound of loud almost choking laughter as Spaw rolls around on the floor roaring like a hyena)......Aw Geez...I can't get my breath here.......Damn Leej, that's a good one...I love it........"The Fast Eddie Special?".....(laughing hysterically) Damn Leej..Hey, set one of those up for Alice and Zim...and anybody else who "shows up"........Sorry I gotta' go...that's choice..........C'mon Cleigh, let's get home and get some work done.......that Leej is a card ain't he? Good Kentucky boy.......yeah, that's where we went last weekend, remember the place we hot tubbed.....yeah, that's it..................... Spaw |
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Subject: RE: MudCat Tavern - Round 7 From: Alice Date: 18 Aug 99 - 11:16 AM Turn on that karaoke machine... I'm feeling the need to sing "Crazy". Speakin' of invisible people and last weekend, I drove all the way to Mudstock in Columbus to meet Kat and her sister, since she said she wanted to hear Alice sing, sent me messages about where they were staying, talked up the dutch oven dinner, well.... I wandered around that campground all afternoon looking for anyone from Wyoming. They didn't show up. BTW, the event is Bluegrass, (LEEJ you failed to tell us that) and so I listened to a few people near a picnic table and tent playing bluegrass, then eventually gathered up my dripping wet son who had been playing in the river, and drove home before darkness and mosquitos set in. I had anticipated sitting around a camfire with Kat and her family, singing folk songs, but never got the chance to sing a one. I kept wondering if Kat and her crew had a car accident. I lost my parents and my aunt in a car accident in '79, so I am paranoid and worry about such things. Anyway, Kat, dear heart, I did want to meet you, I appreciate that you have apologized for cancelling your plans without letting me know. Now, I have a huge loaf of gourmet basil-feta bread leftover. It's wonderful, have a slice with that Eddie coctail, Spaw. Me, I'll just have coffee with cream, please. |
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Subject: RE: MudCat Tavern - Round 7 From: MMario Date: 18 Aug 99 - 01:51 PM *shaking head* I just found out jeri expects me to be logical! I work with computers all day, how could I POSSIBLY be logical? and to top off everything, I just realized I haven't had any caffiene in almost two hours! It's a wonder I haven't had a total brain melt-down... hopefully will get a chance to pyrate my niece's computer tonight and see if mediaring works on it. |
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Subject: RE: MudCat Tavern - Round 7 From: Alice Date: 18 Aug 99 - 01:56 PM coctail??? did I really spell coctail?? Pass the coffee, Mario, do we have any espresso here? It's noon Rocky Mountain time, but I must not be awake yet, either. pyrate??? did you really spell pyrate???? |
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Subject: RE: MudCat Tavern - Round 7 From: MMario Date: 18 Aug 99 - 02:14 PM The mighty-nifty-produces-anything-with-caffiene-or-decaffienated-versions-thereof machine is self-serve, but I will be happy to get you an expresso along with my frozen waffle mocha-cappachino fudge sandwich. yes,*he said, hanging his head in shame*, I did indeed spell "pyrate" - comes from too listening to the Pyrates Royale.... There you go...one expresso. Basil-feta bread? Wonder how that compares to my garlic-pesto bread.... |
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Subject: RE: MudCat Tavern - Round 7 From: Jeri Date: 18 Aug 99 - 02:20 PM Sorry MMario. It's just that I'm aware other people often stick to different standards than myself, and I'd heard about logic and, well... Have a Mocha Sundae Surprise. They're made with coffee ice cream, mocha syrup (with a little kalhua) and whipped cream, and coffee toffee sprinkles. The surprise is if those crunchy squished up espresso beans really were espresso beans. |
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Subject: RE: MudCat Tavern - Round 7 From: MMario Date: 18 Aug 99 - 02:37 PM I heard about logic once, tried it, nothing worked; so I went back to good old-fashioned irrationality. Stick with the tried and true!
Good suggestion, though I think I'll make mine a MMocha surprise... I once found some coffee buzz-buzz-buzz ice cream on my way home from a play at 11:00 pm and had a pint of it as a night-cap. Best nights sleep I've had in the last year
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Subject: RE: MudCat Tavern - Round 7 From: katlaughing Date: 18 Aug 99 - 02:49 PM Jeez, Alice, I thought we'd covered that in the personal message arena! Could ya twist that guilt knife a little more? I didn't quite feel it enough. Who wants to take the first shift in the KatWatch? katwhoisdoneapologising |
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Subject: RE: MudCat Tavern - Round 7 From: catspaw49 Date: 18 Aug 99 - 02:58 PM Zim, things may be lookin' up for you on the jello delivery front............ Mario, you speak such truth......Remember that "Reality is Bad Enough, Why Should I Tell the Truth?"... Spaw |
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Subject: RE: MudCat Tavern - Round 7 From: Susan A-R Date: 18 Aug 99 - 10:29 PM Hmmm, maybe I'll try to teach that coffee machine to make kahlua chocolate chip cookies. Actually I'd rather have a pinte of the black file stuff. What a week. My Dad's in the hospital He has cancer and some physical affects from that, but now his painkillers seem to be fighting with his memory and language. Hopefully they'll sort it out soon. Say MMario, I know where that Coffee coffee buz buz buz stuff comes from. Ought to try it in a milkshake And did I hear something about a Wednesday night shanty sing going on in that back room tonight? Thought I heard something about Cape Cod Girls, or was it Jack, the Kantankerous Cus from Cape Cod. I think I'll amble off and see. I could use some rowdy songs. Susan |
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Subject: RE: MudCat Tavern - Round 7 From: Alice Date: 18 Aug 99 - 10:36 PM Susan, let's sing one for your Dad. Your choice, my dear. |
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Subject: RE: MudCat Tavern - Round 7 From: Cap't Bob Date: 18 Aug 99 - 10:55 PM (Cap't Bob saunters in and takes two seats near the end of the bar ~ ignoring the pile of possum droppings on both of the seats) "Glad to be back after being shanghaied the last time I was in here. Yup, woke up on a garbage scow headed for New York City..........Only thing good about it was that I got to pick through all that good stuff from the dumpsters. Its amazing the good stuff that some people throw away. There war even sum pieces of a broken ceramic possum or two....most likely from Barb's scrap pile. Who would do a thing like that to me anyway? With with folks like Spaw, Mick, and Cleigh O'Possum around, its hard to tell which one of them pull such a mean trick on a nice feller like me." "I need something heavy, give me a double pine float, no plastic toothpicks this time ~~~ I want real wood....and make that with two ice cubes. This diet thing is going to be the ruin of me." How about a little song?
'I've got to give up coffee, if you know what I mean'
I had some cappachino on my way to work today |
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Subject: RE: MudCat Tavern - Round 7 From: Big Mick Date: 18 Aug 99 - 11:00 PM Yeah........let's get the whole bunch together and sing for Susan's Da......How's about it FAIR ONE, LEJ, Spaw, Blessings Barbara, MMario.........all of you, except the little furry fella's............let's do something for Susan's Da.......Call it, my friend, I have the Guild and it is in tune....... |
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Subject: RE: MudCat Tavern - Round 7 From: Roger the zimmer Date: 19 Aug 99 - 06:08 AM Mornin' each. Why is there chicken wire round my stool in the corner? To keep the possums off? No? To protect me from flying missiles? Oh, was I singing again? AND telling bad jokes? Sorry! But when Mick says "Everybody sing" I thought that included me. I think I'm allergic to possums, wake up with memory loss, sore throat, mysterious bruises. Perhaps I'm being mistreated by the staff in the Munchhausen Ward at the Neil Young Center. Nothing to do with falling over the garbage cans on the way out in the early hours? It wasn't my fault I was trying to chase off the possums,particularly that pink one and the dayglo orange one. They were eating chocolate chip cookies on the lids of the cans, didn't anyone else see them? Must get the Center to adjst my medication. In the meantime a large one please while I watch the tango demonstration. Or is it gutbarging? Difficult to tell,Bob ought to stick to the hornpipe. |
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Subject: RE: MudCat Tavern - Round 7 From: Roger the zimmer Date: 19 Aug 99 - 09:29 AM ...it was a quiet morning in the Tavern. Start a tab for the 'catters who fell for my Ten Little Possums bait, I'll settle up on Monday after my weekend session at the PYC:(sigh) shuffleboard and group therapy. Say, why didn't anyone tell me this parrot Cap'n Bob brought back doesn't talk? I've been sitting here all morning trying to teach it to sing the fourth verse of Wild Mountain Thyme or say "My friend will pay for the drinks" in all known languages and I haven't got a squalk outta him. Stuffed? I wondered why it didn't react when the possums ate the beernuts I'd put in his perch dish. Well I'll slip away, I think the SPCA are about to come to look into the possum blowing and fish whacking allegations. Plead insanity, guys (there IS a sanity clause) and I'll see you in the PYC. I'm in the Munchausen wing with the picture of Louis Armstrong on the locker. Just fill this Lucozade bottle with Metaxas' finest for me before I go. Don't bring grapes (unless trodden and fermented). Tara each. |
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Subject: RE: MudCat Tavern - Round 7 From: Cap't Bob Date: 19 Aug 99 - 12:28 PM .."actually Roger that parrot is actually a crow that we painted up to look like a parrot...don't tell anyone though...what kind of captain would have a crow on his shoulder. He's not really dead..just stuffed with possum dropping that he'd mistaken for peanuts...he will come out of it soon." |
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Subject: RE: MudCat Tavern - Round 7 From: Peter T. Date: 19 Aug 99 - 04:49 PM Oh, no! the dreaded parrot from "A Simple Twist of Fate"!!I thought we had killed that one. What a menagerie, cherie! yours, Peter T. |
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Subject: RE: MudCat Tavern - Round 7 From: Barbara Date: 19 Aug 99 - 06:59 PM Sure, Mick, lets do him a tune. Susan, what would he like? MY da likes things like "South of the Border" and "Isle of Capri" and a bunch of old hymns..."Lower Lights", Church in the Wildwood, like that. Music often makes a bridge for people in the hospital that are having trouble connecting. Blessings, Barbara |
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Subject: RE: MudCat Tavern - Round 7 From: Susan A-R Date: 19 Aug 99 - 09:17 PM Hmmm, Dad was doing a pretty goo djob on Green and Yellow (or Henry My Son ) the other night. He's also rather fond of tom Lehrer, so Posioning Pidgeons in the Park would go over nicely. Thank God he has a sense of humor, even when he doesn't have much sense. He'd like this place, I think (unless he sat in the possum droppings.) thanks all. Susan |
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Subject: RE: MudCat Tavern - Round 7 From: Big Mick Date: 19 Aug 99 - 09:58 PM Hold on, before we start that song, let's move to a new setting. It's hard gettin' this one to pass through the tube.....................Make yerself useful Eddie........................BEAM US UP |
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