BS: Where is Spaw? (Dec. 2010 update)

Subject: RE: BS: Where is Spaw? (Dec. 2010 update)
From: gnu
Date: 17 Dec 10 - 03:40 PM

NEW THREAD. DON'T POST HERE.

Subject: RE: BS: Where is Spaw? (Dec. 2010 update)
From: GUEST,Alan Whittle
Date: 17 Dec 10 - 06:43 AM

Welcome home! After your travails.

Subject: RE: BS: Where is Spaw? (Dec. 2010 update)
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 17 Dec 10 - 05:19 AM

Reminds me of my old friend Hal I Tosis, Amos

Subject: RE: BS: Where is Spaw? (Dec. 2010 update)
From: Little Hawk
Date: 16 Dec 10 - 09:28 PM

A worm on the tongue is worth two in the ground...

Subject: RE: BS: Where is Spaw? (Dec. 2010 update)
From: Amos
Date: 16 Dec 10 - 09:08 PM

Gnu spoke correctly; he orders his pizzas with anchovies and it gives him baited breath.


A

Subject: RE: BS: Where is Spaw? (Dec. 2010 update)
From: Neil D
Date: 16 Dec 10 - 07:59 PM

Thanks Kat for keeping us posted. Spaw, so glad to hear you are recovering. Hope you feel much better by the time the holiday arrives so that you can enjoy it. Just rest and relax, and take good care of yourself.

                               Christina and Neil

Subject: RE: BS: Where is Spaw? (Dec. 2010 update)
From: katlaughing
Date: 16 Dec 10 - 07:42 PM

Janie...LOL...I read your posting as "Thanks for the UPGRADE!" Too much computer on the brain!**BG**

Subject: RE: BS: Where is Spaw? (Dec. 2010 update)
From: gnu
Date: 16 Dec 10 - 07:23 PM

Home tomorrow! Great news!

Subject: RE: BS: Where is Spaw? (Dec. 2010 update)
From: Janie
Date: 16 Dec 10 - 07:20 PM

Hurray!

Thanks for the update, Kat.

Subject: RE: BS: Where is Spaw? (Dec. 2010 update)
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 16 Dec 10 - 02:33 PM

I'm not a pedant plucker,
I'm a pedant plucker's son
And I'm only plucking pedants,
Till the pedant plucking's done.

Subject: RE: BS: Where is Spaw? (Dec. 2010 update)
From: katlaughing
Date: 16 Dec 10 - 02:33 PM

I just spoke with Michael. He says Spaw should be coming home tomorrow!

Subject: RE: BS: Where is Spaw? (Dec. 2010 update)
From: gnu
Date: 16 Dec 10 - 01:22 PM

Sorry, that should have been a baited breath. Never fails to reel in a pedant. As a fisherman, have you got any good pedant recipes John?

Subject: RE: BS: Where is Spaw? (Dec. 2010 update)
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 16 Dec 10 - 12:59 PM

Baited!
So what's the hook?

When is it time for it to be re-bated?

Subject: RE: BS: Where is Spaw? (Dec. 2010 update)
From: katlaughing
Date: 16 Dec 10 - 11:56 AM

gnu, you give gnew meaning to keep your friends close...keep your enemas closer!

Subject: RE: BS: Where is Spaw? (Dec. 2010 update)
From: gnu
Date: 16 Dec 10 - 07:07 AM

LH... Santa is a tool for deflection of parental discipline.

Now, let`s get back to trashing, er, ahh, wishing good things for Spaw.

C`mon, Spaw... a day without good news of your recovery is not a good day. I await with baited breath news of your first good shit after surgery. Heard any good enemas latelyÉ

DRAT... É = question mark.

Subject: RE: BS: Where is Spaw? (Dec. 2010 update)
From: Little Hawk
Date: 15 Dec 10 - 01:18 PM

Yeah, well, I figured that one out for myself after a few years...   The only thing that puzzled me was why my parents had told me such a strange and unlikely story in the first place. I thought maybe they were a few short of a six-pack, as the saying goes. ;-) So I asked my Mother about it, and she told me it was just a nice fairy story to make Christmas more fun for everyone, and don't tell the other kids and spoil it for them!

That sounded reasonable to me.

I'm all for science and logic...I always have been...but what worries me about the modern social philosophies it has produced as it took up arms against archaic forms of Christian religion is that the new philosophies are mostly empty of the kind of idealism and confidence and sense of a higher and greater purpose in life that traditional religions at their philosophical best once gave to people. At the heart of all great religions lie the truly essential questions: "What is your life really about? How can you become a better and more loving person?" And that is the question people need to look into if they are going to become something far better than just a clever, selfish animal that knows how to read and write, talk, make a fire, and use complicated tools.

Then, of course, there's the other truly essential multi-part question: How do we get Spaw to renounce the vile Cheech Wizard for all time and admit that Winona Ryder is lovely and also a good actress?

Not even Jesus or Buddha had an answer for that one.

Subject: RE: BS: Where is Spaw? (Dec. 2010 update)
From: Hollowfox
Date: 15 Dec 10 - 12:45 PM

'Spaw, I'm glad to hear that you're recovering (I won't say recovering *nicely*, mind you), as is Amy. The #$@!-reduction candle series started up as soon as I found out you were in the medical hooscow. You and Karen will be careful on the drive home, I know.
The sleep apnea test is the best sleep I've ever had in a hospital, as they don't come barging in and throwing on the lights at some godforsaken hour. And even though sleeping with a CPAP mask on felt a little stupid at first, I sleep better, I don't snore (so everybody else sleeps better), and it keeps me from dying in my sleep.

LH, you have a point about the aimless blade of science, but I never saw such a huge look of relief on a kid's face as when I admitted to my son Daniel that there wasn't a literal corporeal guy squeezing down our skinny chimney. We're a family of pragmatic mystics, and the physics of the problem really bothered him. Saint Nicholas' existence? No problem.

Subject: RE: BS: Where is Spaw? (Dec. 2010 update)
From: Ebbie
Date: 15 Dec 10 - 11:46 AM

I agree with you, LH, all the way.

Subject: RE: BS: Where is Spaw? (Dec. 2010 update)
From: Little Hawk
Date: 15 Dec 10 - 05:53 AM

Ebbie - You know, I think it's really sad how ordinary public customs set little kids up for those kind of disillusionments early in life. It's got to leave some kind of lasting pschological effect that makes them less trusting as they move into adulthood, and lack of trust in life, in self, and in others is a serious issue for a great many people.

Seems to me that the ancient peoples may have had the better take on things when they told legends to their children, because the way the legends were put, one could go on believing that they might be true....like for example the North American Indian legends about nature spirits and stuff like that. Adults went on believing that those nature spirits existed, and it seems to me that it made their lives richer, not poorer.

But we live in a society where "the aimless blade of science" has "slashed the pearly gates", as Neil Young put it in a great song lyric he wrote. And I think we have paid a terrible price for that, I really do. It has removed much of the magic and wonder from our lives, in my opinion. And I don't buy it. Life is about a great deal more than mere physical, observable reality and mere survival/competition tactics in the face of physical, observable reality. Life is nobler than that.

Children know that instinctively, but we squeeze it out of them bit by bit by slowly teaching them to trust only as far as the reach of their physical senses and their machines and money and not to look any farther. I think that's been an utter tragedy for the human race. It has caused people to lose touch with their own souls, and with the greater purposes of life. You see the alienation happening all around now? That's partly where it comes from. (It also comes from urban overpopulation and the loss of natural habitat, but that's another whole discussion...)

Subject: RE: BS: Where is Spaw? (Dec. 2010 update)
From: Bob Landry
Date: 15 Dec 10 - 01:32 AM

I've recently returned to the Mudcat after a ten-year absence and remember Spaw's words of wisdom from way back then. I'm looking forward to more of your straight-shooting, old son. Get yourself better, asap.

Subject: RE: BS: Where is Spaw? (Dec. 2010 update)
From: Ebbie
Date: 14 Dec 10 - 11:06 PM

Speaking of Santa and such: When my daughter was little she came to me one day and said seriously, Mama, I know about Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny, but there is a Tooth Fairy, isn't there?

Knowing I couldn't lie to her, I said, Well, what do you think?

Her face fell and she said, mournfully, Oh no.

Subject: RE: BS: Where is Spaw? (Dec. 2010 update)
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Dec 10 - 08:05 PM

The tube will remain. He is currently supplying gas for heating homes in both Columbus and Cincinnati. He is also becoming obscenely wealthy, but won't admit it.

This is true; I heard it from friends in both Cincinnati and Columbus (the ones in Ohio).

Subject: RE: BS: Where is Spaw? (Dec. 2010 update)
From: gnu
Date: 14 Dec 10 - 07:21 PM

Carrot shards... sounds frightening.

Subject: RE: BS: Where is Spaw? (Dec. 2010 update)
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 14 Dec 10 - 06:50 PM

In 1966, Spaw's high school gymnasium exploded, injuring several people. The cause was never determined, but the detonation occurred approximately 1 1/2 hours after lunch, which was on that day a potent blend of spaghetti-os, cauliflower, and refried beans, with carrot shards suspended in lime jello for dessert.

Coincidence...or something more?

Subject: RE: BS: Where is Spaw? (Dec. 2010 update)
From: gnu
Date: 14 Dec 10 - 06:34 PM

Like I said, the tube is for the methane, but putting it in a balloon would be far too dangerous. This ain't yer run of the mill methane. This is toxic stuff and if it were to be ignited, well, the results could be disassterous.

Subject: RE: BS: Where is Spaw? (Dec. 2010 update)
From: Little Hawk
Date: 14 Dec 10 - 06:29 PM

Yes...it could prove a bit hazardous, I suppose.

Subject: RE: BS: Where is Spaw? (Dec. 2010 update)
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 14 Dec 10 - 06:26 PM

But my God, imagine the hazard to public safety such a concentration of methane would represent, LH.

Subject: RE: BS: Where is Spaw? (Dec. 2010 update)
From: Little Hawk
Date: 14 Dec 10 - 06:20 PM

I'm thinking here...they could put a tube from Spaw's ass and run it into a large hot air balloon with a gondola under it. When the balloon is full, Spaw can be floated gently back home by hot air balloon without having to use a car or public transit.

Subject: RE: BS: Where is Spaw? (Dec. 2010 update)
From: katlaughing
Date: 14 Dec 10 - 05:58 PM

Ah, tw, if only. The only visiting I could do was by phone. But what a wonder those grandkids can do, eh and good nurses!

Subject: RE: BS: Where is Spaw? (Dec. 2010 update)
From: GUEST,Tannywheeler
Date: 14 Dec 10 - 05:25 PM

Spaw & Karen need the main nurse of my recent sojourn in hosp. Her name was Xena, she was about 4ft. 00 tall, & I could have completely encircled her waist by pressing the thumb&forefinger of my right hand together. The main obsession of her life was that I would get OUT of that comfortable bed, hold on to the "walker"(later the IVpole) & trot across the room/out the door/make several rounds of the ward hallway--several xx daily!!! She was inordinately pleased the 1st time I tried, when I got as far as the door to my room & had to be helped back to bed, but not so easy to please after that. Of prime importance to her seemed to be that I never have to be back having stuff done & could see my noisy obstreporous grandkids somewhere ELSE than her nice quiet ward...(She loved them & asked my dau-in-law if they could come after I went home as she had some patients who weren't getting the cheeringup I had gotten...) I hope Spaw has the experience I have had--amazement at how fast I started feeling better & how MUCH better...& if Kat went visiting then he got the cheeringup so I won't send my 5 grands.   Tw

Subject: RE: BS: Where is Spaw? (Dec. 2010 update)
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 14 Dec 10 - 03:53 PM

That was hilarious, Rapparee!

Subject: RE: BS: Where is Spaw? (Dec. 2010 update)
From: gnu
Date: 14 Dec 10 - 03:38 PM

John... I wonder when they will take the tube out of Spaw's ass. The nurses must be tired of the gas masks by now eh?

Subject: RE: BS: Where is Spaw? (Dec. 2010 update)
From: Little Hawk
Date: 14 Dec 10 - 02:37 PM

YES!!!! That's him!

Subject: RE: BS: Where is Spaw? (Dec. 2010 update)
From: katlaughing
Date: 14 Dec 10 - 02:31 PM

LMAO!! HOW did you find that!

Subject: RE: BS: Where is Spaw? (Dec. 2010 update)
From: gnu
Date: 14 Dec 10 - 02:29 PM

Well, LH, you could start off slowly by going after the Easter Bunny and the tooth fairy.

If you manage the holy trinity, you could then go after the rarest of such... the honest politician.

Subject: RE: BS: Where is Spaw? (Dec. 2010 update)
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Dec 10 - 02:14 PM

This tells most of it.

Subject: RE: BS: Where is Spaw? (Dec. 2010 update)
From: Little Hawk
Date: 14 Dec 10 - 02:02 PM

I don't mean those department store ersatz Santas, gnu. I mean the ONE, the ONLY, the REAL Santa. He's an elusive and extremely dangerous beast, you know. Few have seen him and lived to tell the tale.

Subject: RE: BS: Where is Spaw? (Dec. 2010 update)
From: gnu
Date: 14 Dec 10 - 01:54 PM

I got bad news for ya, LH but it can wait til after Christmas.

Subject: RE: BS: Where is Spaw? (Dec. 2010 update)
From: Little Hawk
Date: 14 Dec 10 - 01:19 PM

LOL! Imagine if someone actually did capture Saint Nick! It would be a bigger story than Bigfoot or the Abominable Snowman!

Subject: RE: BS: Where is Spaw? (Dec. 2010 update)
From: Amos
Date: 14 Dec 10 - 10:04 AM

He might like to know that Cletus is becoming famous.


A

Subject: RE: BS: Where is Spaw? (Dec. 2010 update)
From: AllisonA(Animaterra)
Date: 14 Dec 10 - 07:51 AM

Oh, whattarelief! Thanks so much, dear Kat, for keeping tabs on the man.

Subject: RE: BS: Where is Spaw? (Dec. 2010 update)
From: Little Hawk
Date: 13 Dec 10 - 11:36 PM

Be reasonable, Rap. It's asking a hell of a lot to expect Spaw to not play with himself for an entire night! Be realistic. One has to start with baby steps, you know.

Subject: RE: BS: Where is Spaw? (Dec. 2010 update)
From: katlaughing
Date: 13 Dec 10 - 09:25 PM

Even that could be inflated...like the price index.

Subject: RE: BS: Where is Spaw? (Dec. 2010 update)
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Dec 10 - 09:20 PM

I wouldn't quite say I was ecstatic, but it is good news. I guess this means when the library catalogs him the record will note that there is no appendix, but that there is a table of contents.

Subject: RE: BS: Where is Spaw? (Dec. 2010 update)
From: gnu
Date: 13 Dec 10 - 09:08 PM

Great news. A day or two sounds a lot better than five. I am sure the nurses are fookin ecstatic... I know I am.

Now, get the f outta the hospital and get the f better... wtf don't you understand about that? It's obvious that a few peeps here love ya and want ya back here. So get yer ass in gear. HEAL!

Subject: RE: BS: Where is Spaw? (Dec. 2010 update)
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Dec 10 - 08:56 PM

Well, it looks like I'll have to use my Drill Sergeant Command Voice again.

YOU! SPAW! YOU GET YOUR DEAD ASS OUTA THAT BED AND BACK HOME BEFORE I PLANT ONE OF MY SIZE 12 BOOTS IN YOUR ASS SO HARD THAT YOU'LL FART OUT THE BACK OF HEAD! NOW GET THIS AND GET IT RIGHT: YOU WILL GET THAT SLEEP STUDY DONE! IT AIN'T NO MORE TROUBLE THAN NOT PLAYIN' WITH YOURSELF FOR ONE NIGHT! DO YOU UNDERSTAND? NOW GET YOUR BUTT HOME AND STAY OUTA HOSPITALS!!

Subject: RE: BS: Where is Spaw? (Dec. 2010 update)
From: maeve
Date: 13 Dec 10 - 06:55 PM

Thanks for that very good news, kat.

Thanks to our 'Spaw for getting needed health work done.

Maeve

Subject: RE: BS: Where is Spaw? (Dec. 2010 update)
From: katlaughing
Date: 13 Dec 10 - 06:41 PM

Oh, and LeeJ? I tried to sing your stupendously funny, expertly written Pair O' Dee, but I could not do it justice, in fact I think the nurse ran from the room. I hope my caterwauling won't have caused a set-back!

Subject: RE: BS: Where is Spaw? (Dec. 2010 update)
From: Little Hawk
Date: 13 Dec 10 - 06:19 PM

It is good news, but has he had a change of heart yet about Cheech Wizard, Winona, and Major Tom? I doubt that they'll release him until he does. It wouldn't be safe.

Subject: RE: BS: Where is Spaw? (Dec. 2010 update)
From: katlaughing
Date: 13 Dec 10 - 06:16 PM

Ah...big sigh of relief...Pat just called me. He sounded good, but tired and he had a room-mate who was using a speaker phone so it was a little strange, but he said he would be going home, probably in a day or two, all things going right. He said, right now, he could be home and be fine as he has all that he needs there, as at the hospital.

From the sounds of it, the worst part of all was his reaction to certain meds, including an anaesthetic and a pain killer. I'll let him fill us in, if and when he feels like it.

Other good news is, he has told Karen he will have a sleep study done for apnea. This is GOOD news!