BS: Are ALL male BMW drivers bald?

Subject: BS: Are ALL male BMW drivers bald?
From: GUEST,Silas
Date: 16 Oct 10 - 04:57 AM

Just wondering...

Subject: RE: BS: Are ALL male BMW drivers bald?
From: Crow Sister (off with the fairies)
Date: 16 Oct 10 - 05:00 AM

Yes, but they try to hide their baldness by cannily shaving their heads..

Subject: RE: BS: Are ALL male BMW drivers bald?
From: Backwoodsman
Date: 16 Oct 10 - 05:09 AM

I've seen a lot of Beemers being driven at high speed (some might say dangerously high speed, even recklessly) by young women, presumably sales reps (or 'Account Executives' as they delight in describing themselves nowadays).

None of them was bald or shaven-headed.

Subject: RE: BS: Are ALL male BMW drivers bald?
From: Crow Sister (off with the fairies)
Date: 16 Oct 10 - 05:17 AM

Oh, the account executives? They're just more bald headed blokes cannily hiding their baldness under wigs of course!

Subject: RE: BS: Are ALL male BMW drivers bald?
From: Dave Hanson
Date: 16 Oct 10 - 05:53 AM

Only men with small cocks buy BMWs

Dave H

Subject: RE: BS: Are ALL male BMW drivers bald?
From: Mr Red
Date: 16 Oct 10 - 06:21 AM

Ah - now would you let them out at a junction?

errrrr, errrrr, errrrr wot if it were red?

Life can be cruel some days......

Subject: RE: BS: Are ALL male BMW drivers bald?
From: Ed T
Date: 16 Oct 10 - 06:35 AM

A BMW shaven Georgia peach?
Makes one wonder.
Whose mowing her lawn?

Subject: RE: BS: Are ALL male BMW drivers bald?
From: artbrooks
Date: 16 Oct 10 - 08:29 AM

Male + bald = BMW? Where's mine?

Subject: RE: BS: Are ALL male BMW drivers bald?
From: Silas
Date: 16 Oct 10 - 08:32 AM

Well, you also need designer sunglasses (or 'shades' I am reliably informed), expensive jeans and brown shoes.

Subject: RE: BS: Are ALL male BMW drivers bald?
From: Ed T
Date: 16 Oct 10 - 08:46 AM

A BMW driver wearing sunglasses?
Unlikely!
Fewer folks would recognize who they are:)

Subject: RE: BS: Are ALL male BMW drivers bald?
From: Silas
Date: 16 Oct 10 - 08:48 AM

Nah, they don't wear em over their ees you idiot! They perch em on their bad bonce!

Subject: RE: BS: Are ALL male BMW drivers bald?
From: Ed T
Date: 16 Oct 10 - 08:50 AM

Last week I saw a bald guy driving a BMW convertible.
The licennce plate spelled out therapy.
Perched on the back of the vehicle was a green dinosaur.

Subject: RE: BS: Are ALL male BMW drivers bald?
From: Jeanie
Date: 16 Oct 10 - 08:50 AM

If the BMW is black, they also are guaranteed to "tailgate" you, even if you are driving at the maximum speed limit in the fast lane. Well...that's my observation, anyway.

- jeanie

Subject: RE: BS: Are ALL male BMW drivers bald?
From: Silas
Date: 16 Oct 10 - 08:50 AM

Oh dear - must get a new keyboard and new specs - it should say "Eyes" and "bald"

Subject: RE: BS: Are ALL male BMW drivers bald?
From: GUEST,Shimrod
Date: 16 Oct 10 - 09:37 AM

A couple of years ago I was travelling at about 70 mph on a British motorway. A BMW shot past me, at about 110 mph, in the outside lane. Then a van pulled out in front of him ... I didn't see whether the driver was bald or not - but I did notice that most of the rubber of his tyres turned to smoke! I bet that those tyres are expensive to replace!

Subject: RE: BS: Are ALL male BMW drivers bald?
From: Ernest
Date: 16 Oct 10 - 09:41 AM

It is mandatory: "BMW" stands for "Bald Male White"....

Subject: RE: BS: Are ALL male BMW drivers bald?
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 16 Oct 10 - 10:00 AM

Sitting in the passenger seat of our little SEAT Arosa and being jerked forward by sudden braking to avoid the BMW (youngish shaved head driver) that skidded out of a side road in Cardiff just in front of us, but what should escape my lips.

"Blastid Master of Wank!" Got a laugh from my husband/driver and the other passengers in the car. I couldn't laugh as my heart was still in throat.

Subject: RE: BS: Are ALL male BMW drivers bald?
From: GUEST,David E.
Date: 16 Oct 10 - 11:55 AM

As the old joke goes: What's the difference between a porcupine and a BMW? Porcupines have pricks on the outside.

David E.

Subject: RE: BS: Are ALL male BMW drivers bald?
From: Ed T
Date: 16 Oct 10 - 12:06 PM

A good question is "do male BMW drivers get "balled" more than those who dont drive 'em"?

Subject: RE: BS: Are ALL male BMW drivers bald?
From: John on the Sunset Coast
Date: 16 Oct 10 - 12:12 PM

I think not--Most of the BMWs (at least the Black ones) in my neck of the woods are driven by twenty-something young men with lots of hair. They are why our city is rated among having the worst drivers in the whole of the USA.

Subject: RE: BS: Are ALL male BMW drivers bald?
From: Q (Frank Staplin)
Date: 16 Oct 10 - 12:20 PM

BMW is popular with all groups here- young, old, hairy or skinnt. Also Lexus, Audi and Cadillac.
Calgary is a well-off city, construction industry strong. When the recession hit the U. S., house prices dipped 10%, but now some are warning that they are 10% over-valued.

Subject: RE: BS: Are ALL male BMW drivers bald?
From: Penny S.
Date: 16 Oct 10 - 06:24 PM

My ex-neighbour now drives one, black. He is not, yet, bald - but is thinning. His bad driving precedes his BMW. This is the guy who assumes that everyone else should contribute financially to support what he wants.

Penny

Subject: RE: BS: Are ALL male BMW drivers bald?
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 16 Oct 10 - 11:41 PM

In my opinion there are probably more unwisely aggressive drivers (many appearing to be from Eastern Europe) in Audis than BMWs these days, but there are still some afro-caribbean idiots with red BMWs playing over-loud rap music and a number of young men from the Indian sub-continent who can use two mobile phones at once while racing each other down the M2 (although some of those are in Lexuses not BMWs).

The yummy mummies with giant Mercedes or BMW 4*4s often drive with signally less competence than other women with far Eastern 4*4s.

Then there are the hairdressers nominally of both genders with Mercedes "sports" cars (usually parked rather than being driven).

Golf GTIs and Mini-Coopers are far less of a problem than they used to be.

Subject: RE: BS: Are ALL male BMW drivers bald?
From: Joe Offer
Date: 17 Oct 10 - 01:36 AM

Are they bald if their heads are shaved? I does seem in that area that BMWs are very popular among shaved-head, middle-aged males. I think they shave their heads so the grey hair won't show.

-Joe-

Subject: RE: BS: Are ALL male BMW drivers bald?
From: Mingulay
Date: 17 Oct 10 - 03:11 AM

There is nothing intrinsically wrong with BMW's per se. The problem is with the ameoba's that 'drive' them. Regardless of colour, creed, gender etc., they are the worst drivers in the universe!

I can only pray to God (?) that BMW never take it into their heads to make a 'White Van'.

Subject: RE: BS: Are ALL male BMW drivers bald?
From: Richie Black (misused acct, bad email)
Date: 17 Oct 10 - 05:07 AM

I own a 5 series BMW. The 5 is one of the best cars on the road. Sadly I could not afford one when I had hair !

Subject: RE: BS: Are ALL male BMW drivers bald?
From: Stu
Date: 17 Oct 10 - 05:42 AM

What about the ultimate small willy car, the BMW 4x4? Bloody useless piece of junk for any real offroading but does of course elevate the driver (poser?) to the rank of "complete w*nker".

Morris Minor Traveller - that's a real car (I'm not joking either).

Subject: RE: BS: Are ALL male BMW drivers bald?
From: Crow Sister (off with the fairies)
Date: 17 Oct 10 - 05:44 AM

"Morris Minor Traveller - that's a real car (I'm not joking either)."

Very rustic, gotta be the folkiest motor out there! I remember sitting in the back of Morris Travellers as a kid.

Subject: RE: BS: Are ALL male BMW drivers bald?
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 17 Oct 10 - 08:04 AM

I think the modern Merc 4*4s are even less capable off road. Was it Clarkson who tried a BMW 4*4 off the road and found that many two wheel drives were more controllable and capable?

There was also a Morris Oxford Traveller woodie in the early days, up to about 1962. Later Oxfords were awful Farina tin boxes. You could drop an MGB engine and gearbox into one of the Oxfords (or the 10cwt Austin van, but those rusted instantly) with ease (it was very hard to get them into a Minor). Indeed I thnk there were some VERY rare woodie Morris Isis woodie Travellers, and they'd have had the 2.6 litre C series inline 6 cylinder engine, later used in the Austin-Healey 100-6 and stretched to 3 litres for the Healey 3000. .

Subject: RE: BS: Are ALL male BMW drivers bald?
From: Backwoodsman
Date: 17 Oct 10 - 12:32 PM

"Bloody useless piece of junk for any real offroading but does of course elevate the driver (poser?) to the rank of "complete w*nker"."

Totally irrelevant whether a 4x4 is any good for offroading - how many of those conceited tossers that drive a Chelsea Tractor have ever been offroading? (By 'offroading' I mean, of course, deliberately driving off-road - leaving the road accidentally, due to their incompetance as drivers, does not count as 'offroading', it's 'shitdriving').

Subject: RE: BS: Are ALL male BMW drivers bald?
From: Penny S.
Date: 17 Oct 10 - 02:21 PM

In my experience of country lane driving, and this is now growing exponentially, there are certain patterns which are very rarely broken. If a woman driver meets a man driver, even if, according to the highway code, she has the right of way, or he is closest to a passing place, she is the one who reverses. (Well done that farmer from south of Minehead). And if a non-offroad vehicle meets an offroad vehicle, it is the non-offroad vehicle which ends up wedged into the hedge or in the mud of the verge, while the 4X4 proceeds down the centre of the lane.

I am beginning to feel that I should get a bumper sticker on the lines of "If you don't like lanes, don't drive down lanes."

BTW, I don't know what sort of lanes you have west of the Atlantic. I'm talking about single vehicle tracks with passing places, often with close walls or hedges, and bends which restrict visibility ahead.

Penny

Subject: RE: BS: Are ALL male BMW drivers bald?
From: Suegorgeous
Date: 17 Oct 10 - 02:44 PM

Are there any Morris Travellers left on the road? not seen one for yonks.

Subject: RE: BS: Are ALL male BMW drivers bald?
From: gnu
Date: 17 Oct 10 - 03:45 PM

Why anyone would want a "sports car" when one is not a rally driver is beyond me. But, I live where there are low speed limits.

As for 4X4 "SUVs", they are extremely dangerous because most of the yuppies that have them can't drive in winter conditions properly... 4X4 or not.

Subject: RE: BS: Are ALL male BMW drivers bald?
From: Acorn4
Date: 17 Oct 10 - 06:07 PM

Boy Racers -the Cleverly Brothers

Subject: RE: BS: Are ALL male BMW drivers bald?
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 17 Oct 10 - 06:08 PM

Speaking as the former honorary adviser to the All Wheel Drive Club, yes, I greenroad a 4*4 whenever I get the chance. Took a borrowed Shogun undamaged through a green lane supposed to be impassable only a month ago - but had to exit early since there was a tree across it 5 feet off the ground a bit further along. Since then the farmer has illegally ploughed (US "plowed") out a bridge over a stream.

Subject: RE: BS: Are ALL male BMW drivers bald?
From: Tangledwood
Date: 17 Oct 10 - 06:37 PM

"Took a borrowed Shogun undamaged through a green lane supposed to be impassable only a month ago"

I don't know what happens where you are but round here dirt roads may be closed not because they're impassable but because of the damage that would be done to them. Deep muddy ruts dry out to become iron hard and have to be graded out.

Subject: RE: BS: Are ALL male BMW drivers bald?
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 17 Oct 10 - 07:10 PM

You're eating the propaganda.

That damage is ALWAYS done by farmers or foresters - who they try to blame recreational offroaders.

I assume you're talking about the multiplex of traditional and historical roads near Shadoxhurst. They suffer from five things: -

1. Lack of maintenance by those who fail to cut back vegetation (so inhibiting drying out). Usually farmers. Or councils who refuse offers of free maintenance from the AWDC.

2. Lack of maintenance to the drainage by those who fail to maintain drainage ditches and culverts. Usually farmers. Or councils who refuse offers of free maintenance from the AWDC.

3. Lack of maintenance to the surface by those who fail to maintain drainage ditches and culverts. Usually councils who refuse offers of free maintenance from the AWDC. Sometimes it's farmers.

4. Have you ever looked at the damage done to earth surfaces by horses and cattle? They churn them up deeper than 4*4s ever do - not surprising when there's a ton of meat (and often half a ton of porker, usually female, on the back of the horse) on about a total of 12 square inches of hoof. The 4*4 usually only manages a ton to a ton and a half on about 200 square inches of contact patch.

5. Have you ever looked at the tyres on tractors and forestry vehicles? The so-called "opened centred" tyres with a sawtooth grain that rips away the earth and digs down to find firm contact? Dumper tyres. They are illegal to use on road vehicles and they are banned on most even competitive 4*4 events on private ground because of their potential to damage the surface. Who uses them, again? Oh, farmers and foresters, not recreational offroaders.

I've been doing this since about 1988. I know who wrecks these rights of way, and who wants the rights (these are legal rights at common law) restricted.

Oh, in case you're wondering, the track I used was mainly dry with a slightly slippery surface but deepish ruts that required careful planning do avoid putting my wheels into them and either bottoming or being dragged into the hedge.   All done in low first or second, so less than 7 mph.

Go eat your prejudices.

Subject: RE: BS: Are ALL male BMW drivers bald?
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 17 Oct 10 - 07:54 PM

Never mind BMWs. Just don't get me started on Volvo estates, that's all.

Subject: RE: BS: Are ALL male BMW drivers bald?
From: Jack the Sailor
Date: 17 Oct 10 - 09:57 PM

My observation is that every expensive German car is sold with a deed to the public roads and that there is some strange distortion of the windshield that makes every other car look like an orange obstacle course cone.

Subject: RE: BS: Are ALL male BMW drivers bald?
From: Backwoodsman
Date: 17 Oct 10 - 11:48 PM

"Who uses them, again? Oh, farmers and foresters, not recreational offroaders."

The subtle difference being that farmers are generally using them on property which they own (or at least rent), for the purpose of managing their business - which is the land and what it produces, whereas petrol-head 'offroaders' use them anywhere they can, for the purpose of burning off both their testosterone overload and their dissatisfaction with their small, underemployed willies.

Subject: RE: BS: Are ALL male BMW drivers bald?
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 18 Oct 10 - 02:50 AM

OFFS... I had a marked lack of testosterone (pregnant with my girls) but I enjoyed an occassional stump jump (offroading in 4X4 in Virginia) when I was in my early 20s(early 1980s).

Bit of laugh and thrill but not a weekly or even monthly event.

Subject: RE: BS: Are ALL male BMW drivers bald?
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 18 Oct 10 - 03:06 AM

Wrong again Backwoodsman.

The farmers and foresters may or may not be using such tyres on their private land, but the point is they also use them on public rights of way (that's what green lanes are, vehicular public rights of way), make such lanes impassable for vehicles not so equipped, dangerous for horses and unpleasant for walkers - then pretend that the damage was caused by recreational offroaders, shirk their own maintenance responsibilities and even obstruct the offers of recreational vehicular users to maintain the rights of way.

Subject: RE: BS: Are ALL male BMW drivers bald?
From: Dave Hanson
Date: 18 Oct 10 - 03:21 AM

Richard Bridge seems oblivious to the fact that in the UK most ' green lanes ' are quite ancient and constructed for horses and carts many long ages before the advent of these rich kids toys [ 4x4s ] the damage done by them is fairly plain for all to see, it seems to be a case of " I can, therefore I will " regardless of the environment.

Dave H

Subject: RE: BS: Are ALL male BMW drivers bald?
From: Stu
Date: 18 Oct 10 - 03:35 AM

I'm sure in your case you're right Richard, but not everyone is as careful as you and I've nearly been run over by 4x4ers on an old lane and had to rush to call my dog back when they would come down the old metalled road where we used to walk. They'd come belting out of nowhere and as the track was only just wide enough to accommodate a Range Rover or whatever the dog and I had to scramble up the steep banks at the side. Having seen the damage done on that lane, 4x4s were definitely worse than horses which have been walking along it for over a 1000+ years. Really, recreational vehicles should not be allowed on green lanes (including those nutters on off-road motorbikes).

Anyway, after travelling in 4x4's across the badlands of Montana and North Dakota to dinosaur quarries (carrying all sorts of heavy equipment) this summer I tend to view 4x4's here in the UK for what they are: toys for the boys and a waste of time in a really tough environment.

Subject: RE: BS: Are ALL male BMW drivers bald?
From: Backwoodsman
Date: 18 Oct 10 - 04:05 AM

I completely disagree, Richard, but I haven't the time or energy to argue. However, I notice you haven't answered the charge of having too much testosterone and a small, under-employed willie.

I'll take that as a plea of "Guilty on both counts, M'Lud". :-) :-)

Subject: RE: BS: Are ALL male BMW drivers bald?
From: Tangledwood
Date: 18 Oct 10 - 04:27 AM

"Go eat your prejudices. "

What prejudices would they be? I own a Toyota Prado.

Subject: RE: BS: Are ALL male BMW drivers bald?
From: Silas
Date: 18 Oct 10 - 05:47 AM

Touch of thread drift here, however, lving as I do, very close to Cannock Chase, the real pains in the arse are the bloody mountain bikers.

Subject: RE: BS: Are ALL male BMW drivers bald?
From: A Wandering Minstrel
Date: 18 Oct 10 - 07:56 AM

Couldn't say, but a great many of them have yet to discover what the little orange lights on the corners of the vehicle are for

Subject: RE: BS: Are ALL male BMW drivers bald?
From: Silas
Date: 18 Oct 10 - 07:58 AM

Err.. I think (and I could be wrong) BMW stopped fitting indicators to their cars back in 2003.

Subject: RE: BS: Are ALL male BMW drivers bald?
From: GUEST
Date: 18 Oct 10 - 08:47 AM

I have a green lane on my land, and I would be livid if some twat in a 4x4 decided to churn up and down it. It's a carefully tended grassy track between traditional earth and stone clawdd banks, and it would take only a few minutes of thoughtlessness from some driver to ruin. I take my Land Rover down there very gingerly a couple of times a year to bring new stones for the wall and to cart away brash from hedging, but that's it.

Having seen what off-roaders have done in other parts of Wales I'm completely against the notion of 'green laning' as a recreational activity. There are plenty of quarries and other areas of alrady despoiled land, so why not use those?

It's not just the lanes themselves that suffer - I've seen trees pulled down because some twat has a winch on his car and wants to try it out, walls demolished because someone has lost control (and even at four miles an hour, a couple of tonnes of car can demolish a 200-yearold wall that costs upwards of £180 a metre to repair) and pools of black, polluting oil where idiots have cracked their diffs or sumps on rocks (expensively, I hope). And that is typical of the damage that is ALWAYS done by farmers? You're talking through your hoop!

As for tyres - I've used enough Goodrich and Grabber tyres to recognise the tread patterns when I see them, and I've seen plenty of damage caused by those off-road tyres of choice. A spinning wheel will dig a hole whether it's got MTs or racing slicks, and that hole will be there until someone (not the off roader) gets round to filling it.

As has been said, just because a track is a 'green lane' and a right of way doesn't make it fit for idiots in 4x4s.

Subject: RE: BS: Are ALL male BMW drivers bald?
From: GUEST,Patsy
Date: 18 Oct 10 - 09:37 AM

Oh I can't say that I've noticed so will start taking the odd sneaky look inside men's BMWs from now on, just for research purposes of course.

Subject: RE: BS: Are ALL male BMW drivers bald?
From: GUEST,Gervase
Date: 18 Oct 10 - 11:26 AM

Sorry, post preceding the one above was mine. Can't log in on this machine

Subject: RE: BS: Are ALL male BMW drivers bald?
From: gnomad
Date: 24 Oct 10 - 08:29 AM

Article about aggressive drivers BMWs top the poll, but hair doesn't get a mention.

I mostly do short local runs these days, with just occasional runs out into the wider world. On the latter I remember Audi drivers used to be well behaved, but they seem to be rapidly catching up with BMW as a menace. Not enough BMWs around here to make an informed observation on the hair thing.